Friday 13 October 2006, Luna Nova
"It took attempt after attempt just to get Croix to even say hello to me, always at times when I was right nextto where she was, but at most they turned into stares, since neither of us could find the courage to reach outto each other for some reasons, Anyway, I decided to just leave it alone, after all, it's easier not to mess withCroix, until the special day that I'd been waiting for arrived, I also started to dedicate myself more thesesame days to training with my mum, she was helping me to get better at magic and also to get a better headfor when the second word arrived."
So far there's been nothing, Croix hasn't even shown up since the morning, I even went into town to buy her a present yesterday, but she hasn't shown up, I think I'm going to give up on bothering her, that's what my friends have been warning me, before I end up hurting myself in some way, just when the relationship was shining, it happens that I'm the chosen one.
When the class is over, I pick up the little box with the present and walk down the corridors, then I see her in the corridor of the dormitories, she stares at me and I stare back, I take a deep breath huffing and with the present on my back, I walk slowly towards where she is, she also seems to be coming towards me. She looks very much like a stray cat having contact with someone for the first time, she's really cute.
"Chariot..." I could see her calling me, which makes me even happier, all these days she hasn't even opened her mouth to me.
"Croix!" I couldn't resist and had to shout, so she ran over to me.
I went running too, and we found ourselves in a hug, followed by our lips meeting, I was missing this, our mouth-to-mouth contact, the hug, everything about Croix is marvellous, even some tears were falling from my face and going towards her who was also starting to cry, so we put our faces together and stared at each other, this time with another look in mind.
"Happy birthday, Croix" I say to her, who smiles back at me.
"Thank you Chariot, you really remembered" said my girlfriend, or friend, I don't know if she wants us to continue.
As we parted hugs, I handed her a little gift box that I made sure to give to Meridies with all the love in the world, I'll never stop being a caring person full of love to give, she deserves it, after all this time I really wanted to be close to this marvellous woman who is with me as she opens the little gift box I gave her.
"That's wonderful Chariot, I loved the present, I really didn't expect it" she said happily as she received a necklace that I had made for her, practically a piece of jewellery.
"I asked you to leave it like this, it's your face, I know it'll suit you Croix" I say smiling.
"I'm grateful, Chariot, these days away from you have really messed me up, I think we have to enjoy the day, it's my birthday and my mum has forbidden me to get depressed, so come with me, I know where we're going to spend the day, my mum also kind of pushed me a bit to be there" That's going to be really interesting.
Seeing her like this is comforting, but on the other hand I'm still a little weirded out, it's still in my head that she's not quite back, there must still be a lot of things going on in her head, but I don't think I'm going to be bothered by that sort of thing, it's the best I can do for now.
I hope we'll really go back to the way things were, but I still have a feeling it won't be like that, I really do, but I can see that she's a bit happier, as we got to the rooms, we were going up the stairs, it looks like we're going to spend the day in the luxurious rooms, that's quite interesting.
We arrived at the door of one of them and as we opened it I could see that there was a bit of a party decoration in the place and there were our mums in it, it got me a bit excited, they were playing games and music was playing in the background.
"Happy birthday!" They said when we came in.
"I brought her to us, I overcame my own fear and now Chariot is here with us" said my... I don't know what to call her yet.
"Oh good, you've finally made up, let's enjoy the day and celebrate, there's pizzas and everything, today is the day you turn eighteen my baby, I've watched you grow into the adult woman you are today" said Mrs Jordan, and I can see Croix's reaction as she blushed.
"It's been about six years since she was adopted and the girl she's become today is marvellous, she just had to believe and have the support of that wonderful mother April" said my mother Laura.
"Thank you for this day, for not giving up on me, for being by my side until now, I know I've messed up a few times... I don't even know if I deserve all this" said Meridies, who was even a little crestfallen.
"Of course you deserve it, your friends will be here soon so we can have more reason to celebrate, I haven't forgotten that today you turn eighteen and that's the day my little girl is now a woman" said Mrs Jordan.
Croix nods and we go further into the room, where I grab a slice of pizza and watch our mums playing a game, hmmmm this really is marvellous, they're playing on Ree, today will undoubtedly be a lot of fun if we play on Ree like this.
"I'm glad you're here with me Chariot, I've had to overcome a huge barrier, I know you've done everything you can to appreciate me and I'm sorry for everything you've been through, I'll try my best to appreciate you I swear" she said, holding my hand, still a little emotional.
"Then give me a kiss if you value it that much" I say smiling and she actually comes to kiss me right on the lips.
"That's not so hard to do, if you want I'll do more than kissing later" I blush just imagining it, what a pervert I am.
"Tonight we're going to have to leave the girls alone in the bedroom, apparently" said my mum, laughing and both of us blushing.
"It's not that big a deal, I don't know if Croix will... Me and Croix, but we've only just met" I say, blushing even more.
"What's wrong with that Chariot, we're still girlfriends" are we? I even get emotional and start hugging.
Then we started kissing a little more, and that's so good, the contact between the two of us, Croix's hands, I missed them so much, my hands running over Croix's beautiful body too, even though we were dressed, we could hear some noises at the doors, so we stopped holding each other for a while and when I saw it, it was the girls coming in, my friends had also come by invitation.
"Well, I'm still pretty mad at you, Croix, but you can't resist pizza and soft drinks" said Becca.
"I also wanted to come for the food, but I'm still just as furious, even more so with Chariot, after everything I've tried to pass on to her, you two are like this, making out as if nothing had happened, without any serious conversation" Parker says and I'm a bit put out.
"Hey girls, you don't have to go back to that for today, let's enjoy the day, this matter can be resolved after the party and the celebration, let's not spoil a day like this, Croix had to go through a lot to get here" said Mrs Jordan.
"It's for the free pizza Daniella, it's not every day that we get to enjoy it" said Leyland.
"We're listening" said Croix.
And then they went off to eat and I started to play with Croix, just in the tennis logo and in four players, I made a team with my mum and my girlfriend with her mum and so we started to play staying in our positions, this is really going to be fun to do, I love playing tennis at the Ree, even more so with Croix, I've missed it, it reminded me of the holidays, it was so much fun, I can't wait for next summer, if I've really made up with Croix it'll be wonderful, I'll be able to have as much help as I need with the words.
"Go on Chariot, break this one's arse, show that you're the best" Becca said, watching me play.
"Yeah, Chariot!" It seems that the crowd is all with me, but the game is very close between the two of us.
There's also a reason, they're not going to cheer for Croix after everything she's been through, I can see that it's not going to be so easy for my friends to accept her back, especially the way they've seen me all these days in depression, but I can understand it, they're still very supportive despite everything.
Look at that, the smile on Croix's face, her cheering up while we're playing, it even makes me a bit
distracted, our mums' concentration on winning, she even stared back at me with a smile on her face, those beautiful green eyes staring at me is so beautiful.
[...]
The party turned out marvellous, the girls loosened up a bit, they stopped being so hateful towards Croix, that's really good, a real relief, I didn't expect to see her like this, I'm even happier, my girlfriend and her friends getting along, it's so good, it's so gratifying.
We've just sung Happy Birthday and I could see Meridies' eyes sparkling again, she was getting very emotional, what a lovely person she is.
"Thank you for turning up, for continuing to believe in me, I did what was as necessary as possible, I wanted to be able to really make up for it, after everything I did and acted in those days I ended up being quite childish, it doesn't reflect at all on what I'm doing today, I promise, I promise that I will improve, that I will demonstrate this, that I will be the mature woman that I am now becoming" My girlfriend even said a speech in front of the cake.
"Croix, the important thing is that you're back, I missed you terribly, it makes me so happy to see that you're here in front of me and happy again" I say to her and she blushes a little.
"I really hope you're telling the truth, if I knew you were treating Chariot any worse I wouldn't know what I'd do with you" said Parker.
"You don't have to threaten Daniella either, you treated Chariot like dirt in the beginning too" said Becca.
"Yes and I'm not proud of any of this, in fact I regret it every day, I'm waking up to the truth, things I've learnt from you about the reality of this world, above all I also love Chariot, she doesn't deserve to be treated badly like this, she deserves to be happy" What does Daniella mean by that? It's really very strange.
"Well, that was weird, but hey, let's enjoy the cake" I say to lighten the mood.
And everyone went to the cake cut by Croix where she gave the first piece to her mother, I can understand that Mrs Jordan has looked after her for these six years and has been the best mother possible, she really treats Croix very well, apart from that I got the second piece, I'm already starting to eat it and wow the cake is delicious, it also looks like there's something inside it, it looks like chocolate bars, until I realise that they really are, I can tell because it's a bit hard.
I eat another piece of cake and it's really delicious, I didn't expect it to be this good, it's a wonderful day, our mums were right to have a party here, I think I'm going to get bloated from eating so much here.
"This is really good, who made this cake?" Parker asks.
"I made it for Croix, it's been a while since I've made a cake like this, with the help of Mrs McLaren and Laura we were able to make a cake just the way Croix loves it, with lots of chocolate and very sweet" said Mrs Jordan.
"It makes sense that it's very sweet, but it's not overly sweet, you know how to make a good cake Mrs Jordan, your daughter must be very special to you" said Daniella.
"She really is, I love this girl very much, from the day I adopted her and was able to look after her I never stopped loving Croix, I was able to give her a happiness that I couldn't have for a while, at first my mum was reluctant to accept me and I often did things on my own, but when she started to accept me more she changed, she herself realised that it wasn't worth forcing something she wanted me to be and letting me be myself was the solution, I was able to learn from this experience how to take care of Croix, I wanted to adopt a child like her so I could get a better idea of what it's like to take care of her and be able to help a whole community" Mrs Jordan said, even leaving us impressed.
"My mum is the best mum in the world, she treats me with all the affection in the world, she's always given me the best she can give, I'm really grateful to have a mum like her, apart from having friends like you, we're almost like a family" said Croix, which made me blush a little and smile, but I could see that Parker was the only one who didn't react.
Now I'm full of cake, we gave Croix an extra hug and played together, now there's lots to talk about, the day was a bit of fun, but I really hope nothing bad happens, no fights, especially between Parker and Croix, they don't seem to be getting on very well.
[...]
Now it's been a while, it's dark, our mums are leaving, it looks like there's going to be a very interesting night that's not over for me and Croix, I even get a different expression looking at her, we all get up and go to the door, it looks like bedtime is coming, I'm very excited to have a more intimate moment between me and her. But when we got to the door, I saw that Daniella was simply waiting for everyone to leave, which Becca did, but our mums were still waiting for her to leave.
"Let me talk to these two more privately, it'll be quick, I just want to give them an important message, it's nothing that will ruin their day" said Parker.
"We'll let them sort it out April, there's no need to worry, if there's a fight we'll be ready for it" said my mum with her hand on Mrs Jordan's shoulder.
"If you hurt my Croix, I'll know about it, girl, I've seen you looking at her differently all party long, whatever you two have to talk about" said Mrs April as she left.
The door to the room closed and we waited for a while, Parker didn't seem happy at all, I also realised that she was the only person who was excited at the whole party, Becca even had a few good smiles and laughs, but Daniella was very quiet and didn't comment much, not to mention her face was very closed, which comes as a huff, I can see that the subject could be very serious.
"Why all this, Daniella?" I ask my friend.
"I'll be honest with you, it's not for nothing, but I... I love you Chariot, I have feelings for you, but I know it would be impossible to have you in my arms since you're Croix's, that's why I want to tell you that I want you to be happy, but I'm also going to hold you to account Croix, if I know that you've ever hurt Chariot I'm not going to go to any lengths to try something too, I'm going to show you that I can be a caring and loving person too" What? By the nine witches Parker is in love with me and I could see an expression of confidence on Croix's face, she didn't put herself down for it, she even smiled.
"Are you challenging me, Parker? You're the one who had Chariot's reputation destroyed last year? You're the one who bullied Chariot? You're no saint either, but I don't care if you want to compete, you're no competition to me, I'll make Chariot happy, she's not going to give in to the advances of a bourgeois daughter" said my girlfriend and I'm starting to find this all strange.
"I really regret this phase, but talking like this I think I can have my answers, I don't need to talk to you much anymore, I thought I really didn't have a chance, that I should even give up, but from the way you talk I think I'm sure of one thing, I even let the dust settle, but I'm not giving up on Chariot" I'm getting a bit annoyed that's for sure.
"You come in here saying that you're going to pick up my girlfriend and you don't want me to react a little uncomfortably, especially when you two are roommates? I'm not going to let myself be provoked, Chariot is mine" I tap my feet in annoyance.
"You two shut up! It's not for you to decide, it's for me to decide! And if you carry on like this, I'm not going to keep either of you! I'm not an object or a trophy for you to fight over! I'm a person!" I say angrily and I can see that their expressions quickly change.
"I'm sorry Chariot... I really didn't want to make you angry, but I couldn't help feeling a little jealous when Parker turned up like that, I'm sorry" she said, and I still get a little annoyed.
"Look, Chariot, I'm sorry, I just wanted to deliver the message, but I'm going to go now, I don't want to disturb the couple's evening, go on, use yourselves as much as you like, get that love of yours to at least do something" said Daniella as she left.
I don't know what that was about, if it was some kind of provocation from Parker, or if she really has feelings for me, in any case I'm not going to leave Croix because of it, I love her and I'm happy being around someone like my girlfriend, well now we'd better just forget about it, I hope it was a provocation from her. Now that she's gone I can see that Croix is crying a bit, but I hug her back, I think the jealousy is real, but I'm not going to swap her for Parker, she's still a girl who doesn't make me comfortable at all, apart from the fact that I love Croix.
"I'm sorry about all this Chariot, I didn't mean to be like that, I sounded possessive when I said it just now, but it's just... We've only just got back together, we... I've messed up a lot, I'm no good..." I put my finger in her mouth.
"This is not the time to act insecure Croix, let's try to relax a bit, there's still cake, there are pizzas left, let's eat a bit and play, or whatever you want to do, by the way, I heard about the idea of the Shiny Chariot card game, I loved it" I say wiping Meridies' tears.
"I know you'd like it, we're planning to release it at Christmas time, all over the world, but anyway... I love you very much Chariot and I'm going to try as hard as I can not to hurt you again, I'm still trying to come to terms with the idea of not being chosen... But it's better not to think about it" said my girlfriend.
"Let's not talk about that for today, I don't want to cause a fight over a piece of wood, if we're going to talk I want to talk about what a marvellous woman my girlfriend is now" I say, approaching her body and she blushes.
"You're still as beautiful as ever, I still don't know how a beautiful woman like you came into my life, I'm grateful for your existence, it's the greatest gift I could ever have Chariot Du Nord" She even keeps stroking my hair and running her hand over my face.
I kiss her some more, we sink deeper into more of her, feeling her hands is so good, I start to let her lie on the sofa while I get on top, today she won't escape me, if there's one thing I'm going to do it's leave her in the clouds on her birthday, I can even see her scared little face as I start to get more attached.
[...]
I think someone slept like an angel, I must have exhausted all her energy, how cute, I love you Croix, I kiss her on the lips and then on her forehead being all cute and I see her giving a little smile, I think she's still a little awake, so much so that I touch the girl's nose that makes a little more cute noises.
"Hey, you're still awake, Croix" I say to her, who giggles.
"I'm just tired to death, but I'll fall asleep soon, I just want to tell you that I love you very much and that I want to spend every day with you" How cute, she really is a sweetheart.
"So that's your goodnight message?" I ask her.
"Not really... I didn't want to say it, but I think it might be better for both of us, it was all so sudden, did I really act with my head down about all this, or with my heart, the truth is that I really want to date you Chariot, but we're not ready for that, I think it's better if we give each other some time, just so we can think about it better, just so we can... So I can get my head together, I don't know if I have the head for it now, look at what I did when Parker provoked us, I'm still very insecure and immature, I've just turned 18 and I'm still an immature child" I even react differently to everything.
"What do you mean? I've waited so long to be together and now you're going to throw it all away? Why Croix? There's no reason for the two of us to be apart, I know you've been immature and all, but why?" I'm starting to cry.
"It's not the happiest decision to make, but we have to act like mature people, that's why I'm saying that we have to take a break from our relationship, think it over, it's a decision with no turning back Chariot, we need maturity to really put a relationship forward, our heads on straight you know, I'm sorry for hurting you by saying this, but unfortunately that's the truth" I get a little sadder, I didn't want it to be like this.
"It's because of Claiomh Solais, isn't it?" I'll be blunt.
"I'm not going to lie to you Chariot, it is, I'm still not over it, imagine that I've dedicated my whole life to it and now it's not in my hands, I felt betrayed that day, you wouldn't understand, I worked hard as a witch to simply be given that as a gift, it's not minimising your witching skills, on the contrary I think you're an exemplary witch and I saw you training with Mrs McLaren in the morning every day before school, but it's because? I feel betrayed by Woodward, I'm the one who does everything right and yet I'm dismissed, I can't look at you with Claiomh Solais without thinking about that day going through my head" I even look right into her eyes, which are still staring at me, even without my glasses.
"Do you think I wanted it too? You spoke to me as if I were a monster Croix, I also wanted you to be the chosen one, but Woodward decided it would be me and unfortunately I have no choice, I will dedicate myself
to Claiomh Solais, you don't have to worry about that, you can still change the world in other ways without needing a piece of wood, that's just something with no value other than a weapon, seriously Croix, what would you do if you were the chosen one, be honest, you don't have to hide that you could use power to impose yourself" I say to her who looks at the ceiling and even lets out a snort.
"I admit it, I'd threaten the older witches by showing that I'm the chosen one and they'd respect me for knowing about Claiomh Solais, I'd show my power and I'd force them to accept my decision, I'd start the revolution that way, since there's no way to do it peacefully, or do you think Victoria McLaren fought for the rights of witches like us by begging and pleading with Mildred Berger, no, that didn't happen, Mildred was murdered in a war between her and Terre Sapphique, so I need to try in an aggressive way or else the revolution will never happen" That's what I needed to know, I even make a point of reminding you of something important.
"The first person you hit with the first word of Claiomh Solais with an arrow would instantly lose the power in your hands, the Terre Sapphique war only happened after Esther Williams left Claiomh Solais aside, if you kill one person, Woodward will instantly take away that power and what would you do? They'd arrest you on the spot, the witches could even take away your magical power or something worse, Croix, it doesn't work like that" I tell her and she shrugs her shoulders.
"Even your mum defends the idea that the witches' revolution should happen this way, why not give a demonstration of power, if things continue as they are when you find the seven words, this isn't something that has changed the world, you've only used it to maintain the status quo, both you and I know how unfair the witches' society is" I know that well, you don't have to remind me.
"That's why the Shiny Chariot, the children who will be the future in this and will gradually adhere to our ideas, while the older witches will only naturally cease to exist over time, they will begin to lose space, even more so when I manage to become very famous Croix, that's where a little of your ideas come in, gradually we will implement, the money that the Cavendish have been injecting will be essential, we have a wealthy part to influence a lot, the future of magic depends on us, it won't be on the basis of war, no deaths, just a gradual replacement, in a few generations everything will work out, maybe even when our daughters are born this won't change" She just stares at the ceiling.
"Look, I don't want to argue about it any more, we have our differences, I think your idea is clever because it's what I want to fight for too, but we can fight both ways for a change in the system, anyway, good night Chariot, thank you for the day" She really is the same hard-head as ever.
"Good night stubborn, I still love you Croix, I'm not going to resort to violence, we'll be able to make the revolution together, with the help of Claiomh Solais, I'm dedicating myself, okay? I guess I shouldn't have had this conversation with you in the end, at least I'm a little relieved to know some things" I even close my eyes and try to sleep.
"I'm not a monster, okay? I just want what's best for the witches, just know that I won't give up, don't see me like that, for the nine witches" said Meridies.
Woodward really was right about the predictions she made about Croix, she's got her head full of things and thoughts like that, it's not going to help the witches at all, it's only going to make us more hated, which is practically happening, unfortunately it's not the smartest thing to do, I can't believe she was right about this side of my... I can't even call her my girlfriend, since she's said she's taken a break, now I really have to fight to stop her from making any crazy plans, I'm in two fights here with myself, even more so with this Parker girl, do I talk to her or not? I don't know, my head only got more confused after that day, I thought it would be something peaceful.
"Well, it was Croix's birthday, and I was able to confirm once and for all her megalomaniacal thoughts, whichin the end even materialised a few months ago, well unfortunately I tried as hard as I could to fight it, apartfrom that more intrigues appeared, my head at that time was really a snowball that only got worse andworse, I was going madder and madder, I'm amazed at how Akko managed to deal with the seven wordsvery well and without being like me, in the end I have to give it to her, as a witch she's much stronger thanme, her head was always in place, as well as her determination, Woodward was always right to choose her."
Happy birthday, trans witches...