By some strange coincidence, those who left reentered the viewing Hall at the same time. Nobody spoke to the Lannisters, who took their seat in silence. Jaime's eyes looked slightly red, making people think that Joanna must have slapped him silly or worse.
Ned and Robert took great pleasure in that.
"Children, why don't you go sit with your grandmother" Stannis suggested, "Shireen you join them."
A little surprised both Murcella and Tommen nodded as they moved to where their grandmother sat. Shireen followed not far behind, stealing glances at her father who was speaking with the King. Something was going to happen, she could feel it.
[Opens at King's Landing, assumed to be Ned's quarters. He opens his eyes to find Cersei and King Robert at his bedside.]
"Not the worst threesome dream for Lord Stark I'd imagine" Oberyn whispered to his siblings, earning a slap on the arm from Elia.
"Your pardon, your Grace."
"Do you know what your wife has done?"
"She did nothing I did not command."
Olenna held back her comment, but she did not hold herself back from rolling her yes.
"Who'd have thought she had it in her?"
"By what right dare you lay hands on my blood?"
"I am the King's Hand –"
"You were the King's Hand! "
"trying to keep the peace -"
"You shall now be held accountable."
"You are both acting like children" Rickard shook his head. It was like watching Lyanna and Benjen fight.
Ned kept his mouth shut, his face flushed In embarrassment.
"Oh, will both of you shut your mouths? Catelyn will release Tyrion and you'll make your peace with Jaime."
"He butchered my men."
"Lord Stark was returning drunk from a brothel when his men attacked Jaime."
"Who would believe that?" Tyrion rolled his eyes. Sometimes he was in awe of the kind of stupid shit his sister spewed thinking them to be brilliant ideas.
"Quiet, woman.
"Jaime has fled the city. Give me leave to bring him back to justice."
"You want too much, Ned. Not even Robert can grant you everything without repercussions" Brandon the elder shook his head.
'Aye…"
"I took you for a king."
"Hold your tongue."
"He's attacked my brother and abducted the other. I should wear the armour and you the gown."
[Robert smacks Cersei.]
A series of sharp breaths were inhaled at the same time.
"You fat fucker!" Jaime roared to his feet, Joanna gripping the back of his tunic tightly. "How dare you hit my sister?!"
Robert rose in challenge but Jon Arryn stood as well, his back to Jaime and his furious eyes pinning Robert to the spot. The King wilted slightly.
"How dare you put your hands in that manner on another woman?" the older man roared with fury.
Rober shrunk slightly.
"Is this what I taught you? Is this the kind of man I raised?!" he stepped in closer, gripped Robert's beard and yanked it so Robaert was closer to Jon Arryn's face. "Another toe out of line and King or not I will dee to it that you are disciplined. Am I understood?"
Robert muttered under his breath.
"Louder!"
"I understand!"
Jon let his beard go and sat back down. "Sit."
Robert sat in silence, face sullen.
"That was the man you thought was perfect for your sister" Lyanna whispered to Ned, not expecting a reply.
She received none.
"I shall wear this like a badge of honour."
"Wear it in silence or I'll honour you again."
[Cersei exits the room, slamming the door shut behind her.]
"See what she does to me? My loving wife. I should not have hit her. That was not… That was not kingly."
"Kingly?" Jon eyed the King.
"It will not be right of me" Robert said, emphasising the fact it had not happened yet.
Jon Arryn's eyes narrowed on the man.
"If we don't act… there will be a war."
"Knowing father, there already is a war" Tyrion commented idly, "No doubt the abduction of his son has brought great harm on the prestige of House Lannister and he wishes to make Lady Catelyn pay dearly for it" he parroted his mother with a smile.
Catelyn stiffened.
"So tell your wife to return that little shit of an Imp to King's Landing. She's had her fun, now put an end to it. You hear me? Send a raven and put an end to it."
"And what about Jaime Lannister? What about Jaime?"
"I'm half a kingdom in debt to his bloody father."
"Saved by father's wealth," Oberyn said with a teasing smirk.
Jaimme stiffened, which made the Dornishman bark a laugh.
"I don't know what happened between you and those yellow-haired shits. I don't want to know. This is what matters - I can't rule the kingdoms if the Starks and the Lannisters are at each other's throats, so enough!"
"As you command your Grace. With your leave, I will return to Winterfell and set matters straight."
"Piss on that! Send a raven. I want you to stay. I'm the king, I get what I want… I never loved my brothers."
"Stannis, Renly-"
"It's not something we didn't know" Renly shrugged with no smile.
"Yet we are brothers, and we have duties to follow" Stannis added with a stiff jaw.
Robert sighed.
"A sad thing for a man to admit, but it's true. You were the brother I chose. We'll talk when I return from the hunt."
"Why do I have the feeling that they'll not have this talk?" Robb whispered to Jon.
"Father's been attacked once already. Now with the King missing" Jon bit his tongue. No, he wouldn't let the thought leave his lips.
Robb's hands fisted over his lap, eyes glaring at his feet.
[A raven caws. Bran is shooting his bow in the courtyard. The raven flies to the crypts of Winterfell, and Bran follows. As he enters, again makes eye contact with the bird. The raven flies deeper into the crypts. We then see Bran sleeping in his bed.]
"The same dream" Sansa pointed out. "Could it mean anything?"
"Dark Wings, Dark Words. Bran's mind could be reminding him that he almost died since the bird keeps flying into the Crypt" Robb suggested.
Bran couldn't help but feel there was something more here than just that.
[His door swings open and Bran sits up in bed breathing heavily. Hodor is carrying the contraption that Tyrion brought the blueprints for. Bran smiles. We then cut to the woods of Winterfell where Bran is shouting as he's riding on the back of a horse.]
"Not too fast."
"Come on, Dancer."
"You named your horse dancer?" Arya cackled.
"Shut up" Bran muttered with a flushed face.
"When are you gonna tell him?"
"Not now."
"Blood for blood. You need to make the Lannisters pay for Jory and the others."
"You're talking about war."
"I'm talking about justice."
"No, you're talking about war, boy" Brandon the elder glared at Theon.
"So, what? You want us to remain silent and let the Kingslayer get away with this too?" Theon challenged.
"No, you bide your time and not rush into things. Wars are started over lesser things."
"Hypocritical of you to say that" Theon challenged.
"No, I'm the exact person who should be saying that. I lost it all because I was too hotheaded after all. Take a lesson from my mistake and do not push my Nephew to do that same shit I did."
Lyanna patted Brandon on the hand.
"Only the Lord of Winterfell can call in the bannermen and raise an army."
"A Lannister put his spear through your father's leg. The Kingslayer rides to Casterly Rock where no one can touch –"
"You want me to march on Casterly Rock?!"
"The apple truly has not fallen far from the tree. Even with the Starks influence" Tyrion laughed, mocking and loud.
Theon grits his teeth and glares at the Imp.
The Imp smiles challengingly at the boy, to make him tell Tyrion that he was wrong.
Theon fumed in silence.
"You're not a boy anymore. They attacked your father. They've already started the war. It's your duty to represent your House when your father can't."
"And it's not your duty, because it's not your House."
"That was unfair! Theon only wants to help" Arya complained to the brother sitting in the room.
"What Theon suggests is not helpful but suicidal" Lady Olenna corrected the girl.
"But he hurt father!"
"And do you think the North can take on the West once they leave the comforts of their home?"
"Yes! We're not weak!"
Olenna's eyes went to Lord and Lady Stark.
"It might be in your best interest to educate your girls in politics and strategy, both of them. That might make them an asset to their husbands and not just breeding mules."
Arya fumed and glared at the old lady. She was not going to be some Lord's wife!
[It goes silent, Bran can no longer be heard jeering at his horse. Robb looks at Theon and stands up looking through the woods.]
"Where's Bran?"
"I don't know. It's not my House."
"No, but that is the son of the Lord you serve. It's in your best interest to look after him" Rickard Stark said pointedly.
Theon bristled.
Theon stands up and walks away from Robb, who begins to look around. We cut to Bran riding slowly through the woods. We see someone creeping up behind him as his horse is nickering. As Bran enters a clearing, several Wildlings surround him.]
"They've reached this far down South," Ned said in worry. This was not good news if the wall couldn't stop only four Wildlings.
Beside him Catelyn stiffened, grasping Bran's hand in fear.
"All alone in the deep dark woods."
"I'm not alone, my brother is with me."
"I don't see him. Got him hidden under your cloak?"
"Oh, that's a pretty pin. Silver."
"We'll take the pin. And the horse. Get down… Be quick about it."
"I can't. The saddle, the straps."
"What's wrong with you? You some kind of cripple?"
"I'm Brandon Stark of Winterfell and if you don't let me be, I'll have you all killed!"
"Cut his little cock off and stuff it in his mouth."
"The boy's worth nothing dead. Benjen Stark's own blood. Think what Mance would give us."
"Great, Wildlings with a vendetta against the family" Robb muttered, his entire form stiff. It was under his watch that Bran fell in danger. He had failed to protect his brother.
[A Wildling is cutting Bran's straps to his saddle, accidentally slicing into Bran's leg but he feels no pain.]
"Piss on Mance rayder and piss on the North. We're going as far south as south goes. There ain't no white walkers down in Dorne."
[Robb comes into view, behind the four Wildlings.]
"Drop the knife. Let him go and I'll let you live."
[One of the Wildlings storms at Robb who evades an axe attack. Robb counters, slicing the Wildling's throat. Osha charges Robb who tosses her and spins her around by her hair. He fights off and kills the other Wildling. The Wilding in charge has Bran off of his horse with a knife at his throat, meanwhile, Robb has a knife to her throat. Robb looks at Bran and then back up at the Wildling. He then slowly sets his sword on the ground, still gripping Osha by her hair. He looks back up at the Wildling who suddenly gets an arrow through his chest from his back. As he drops to the ground bleeding, we see Theon a few yards behind him with a bow. The Wildling falls dead, and Theon approaches. Robb releases Osha from his grasp as Theon walks over drawing his bow on her. Robb moves over to Bran.]
"Tough little lad. In the Iron Islands, you're not a man until you've killed your first enemy. Well done."
"Have you lost your mind? What if you'd missed?"
"Theon wouldn't" Jon shook his head. "Theon's a good shot, probably one of the best in Winterfell. He wouldn't have missed the shot."
"I know. I was just-"
"Worried?"
"Aye."
Robb turned to Theon.
"I'm sorry, for this and everything before it. You are my closest friend and I was terrible with you."
"It hasn't happened yet" Theon shrugged. But internally he was happy to see Robb take his side and apologise for being an ass in the future.
[Back across the sea in Vaes Dothrak, we're inside a large communal tent. Daenerys is centered around everyone and eating the heart of a horse. The Dothraki and a priest chant around her. Her husband Khal Drogo looks on in anticipation as she continues eating.]
"That is disgusting" Gendry muttered, voicing the thought of many greenfaced men and women. Sansa puked all over her dress, which quickly cleaned itself, while Arya looked like she was close to throwing up as well.
Daenerys made a face, a hand covering her mouth. She couldn't go through with this, these savages and their savagery, she couldn't live with it. No, she wouldn't marry Khal Drogo. She wasn't a savage.
"She has to eat a whole heart? I hope that wasn't my horse."
"That's all he cares about?!" Rhaegar fumed.
"He's already shown he doesn't care about Daenerys" Elia said coldly. Her stomach still churned at the sight of her good sister eating that raw heart.
Rhaegar gripped Daenerys' hand gently.
[She keeps eating the heart, nearing the end. The Dothraki onlookers all chant in unison, getting louder and louder. The priestess is also chanting, louder and louder. Khal Drogo stares more intently at his wife, she stares back. The chanting grows louder, as does the priestess.]
"Tell me what she is saying.
"The prince is riding. I have heard the thunder of the hooves. Swift as the wind he rides. His enemies will cower before him… and their wives will weep tears of blood."
[The eating and chanting intensifies as Viserys looks on in shock.]
"She's going to have a boy."
Robert frowned. A boy…
"He won't be a real Targaryen. He won't be a true dragon."
"Neither are you" Jon Snow muttered fiercely.
[As the chanting is at its loudest, Daenerys has finished with the heart. Everyone looks on in anticipation, she wretches forward, on the verge of puking. The chanting suddenly halts. Khal Drogo leans in and looks intensely. Daenerys holds everything in and sobs. Her hands bloody, she slowly sits up, keeping everything in as she gulps the final bite. The priestess begins to speak, and Jorah translates directly for Viserys.]
"The stallion who mounts the world. The stallion is the khal of khals. He shall unite the people into a single khalasar. All the people of the world will be his herd."
[Daenerys rises to her feet, speaking in Dothraki to the room.]
"A prince rides inside me! And he shall be called Rhaego!"
"I learned a new language," Daenerys said in surprise.
"What's so surprising?" Rhaegar questioned with a raised brow. "You've been with them for months, you probably asked one of the slaves to teach you."
"I- I just didn't think I could" Daenerys shrugged with a blush.
[The room begins chanting, "Rhaego! Rhaego!" As the chanting grows louder and louder, Drogo stands up and walks up to Daenerys.]
"They love her."
"Unlike you!" Arya said vindictively.
[The room's chanting gets even louder. Drogo hugs his wife at her thighs and hoists her up, carrying her around the room. Jorah looks to his right towards Viserys, who has now slipped out. We cut to Daenerys' tent. Inside, Viserys opens the container that holds her dragon eggs. He sighs and then puts them into a sack. Jorah walks into the tent behind him, blocking the door.]
"Don't let them see you carrying a sword in Vaes Dothrak. You know the law."
"It's not my law."
"They don't belong to you."
"Whatever is hers is also mine."
"Those are my eggs!" Daenerys seethed before freezing. Why was she so possessive over those eggs all of a sudden?
"Once, perhaps."
"If I sell one egg, I'll have enough to buy a ship. Two eggs - a ship and an army."
"And you have all three."
"I need a large army… I'm the last hope of a dynasty, Mormont. The greatest dynasty this world has ever seen, on my shoulders since I was five years old and no one has ever given me what they gave to her in that tent. Never. Not a piece of it… How can I carry what I need to carry without it? Hmm? Who can rule without wealth, or fear, or love?"
"Love is earned, not something to be given. I see we have failed to teach him that" Rhaegar spat. He was truly disappointed with his little brother. Then again, it was no surprise. His father always kept Viserys close.
"Oh, you stand there, all nobility and honor. You don't think I see you looking at my little sister, hmm? Don't think I know what you want? I don't care. You can have her. She can be queen of the savages and dine on the finest bloody horse parts, and you can dine on whichever parts of her you like. But let me go."
"You can go, but you can't have the eggs."
"You swore an oath to me. Does loyalty mean nothing to you?"
"It means everything to me."
Ned snorted.
"And yet here you stand?"
"And here I stand."
[Viserys and Jorah stare at each other for a moment, before Viserys drops the sack containing the dragon eggs to the floor. Jorah steps aside, unblocking the exit. Viserys leaves.]
"He's going to do something stupid," Daenerys said plainly. She'd seen that expression on her brother's face before. And every time he does something stupid because of it. He was too emotional for his own good, she had heard Illyrio say it once.
[Back at the skycell below the Eyrie. Tyrion is again shouting for Mord.]
"Mord! Mord! Mord! Mord! Mord!"
"Noise again!"
"Have you ever heard the phrase "Rich as a Lannister"? Of course you have. You're a smart man. You know who the Lannisters are. I am a Lannister. Tyrion, son of Tywin! And of course, you have also heard the phrase, "a Lannister always pays his debts." If you deliver a message from me to Lady Arryn, I will be in your debt. I will owe you gold."
"What are you trying to do?" Joanna eyed her youngest.
"Trying to free myself I suppose" Tyrion shrugged.
"What message?"
"Tell her I wish to confess my crimes."
[We cut to the throne room, where Lady Arryn and her son Robin are sitting on the throne, at the helm of the room. Catelyn is standing next to them, as Robin is tapping a knife against the throne itself very annoyingly.]
"You wish to confess your crimes?"
"Yes, my lady. I do, my lady."
"Skycells always break them. Speak, Imp. Meet your gods as an honest man."
"Where do I begin, my lords and ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe."
Tyrion blushed, then winced at the slap from his mother, who now sat between the two brothers.
"Mother-"
"It's happened already, no?" Joanna said sternly, her hand still raised.
Tyrion kept his mouth shut.
"She was forced to return to the castle, naked and in tears. I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. The poor boy was flogged and… I escaped justice."
Tyrion was slapped again.
"When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did."
Tyrion was slapped again.
"I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel -"
Tyrion was slapped again.
"I didn't even finish the story!" the Imp complained.
"Sins are sins and you must be punished for it. Sadly a slap is all I can manage" Joanna said coldly.
Tyrion rubbed his red cheek with a scowl.
"Am I the only one who thinks he was slapped around as karma for slapping Joffrey all that time back?" Oberyn whispered to his sister.
"That hasn't happened yet" Elia said with an amused roll of her eyes.
"Silence!"
"What happened next?!"
"I'd like to know too," Bran said excitedly.
"Later," Tyrion told the boy with a scowl still on his face and his hand on his cheek.
"No, you will not," Catelyn said sternly looking at Bran. "That is not a story for your ears."
Now it was Bran scowling.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Confessing my crimes."
"Lord Tyrion, you are accused of hiring a man to slay my son Bran in his bed, and of conspiring to murder my sister's husband; Lord Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King."
"Oh, I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that."
"You've had your little joke. I trust you enjoyed it. Mord, take him back to the dungeon. But this time find a smaller cell, with a steeper floor."
"Lysa…" Catelyn couldn't help but be disappointed in her sister. She was always a little petulant, but this is something else entirely.
"Remind me to have words with my wife about how we serve justice in the Vale" Jon Arryn said to no one in particular. The anger in his eyes though cut through everyone.
"Is this how justice is done in the Vale? you accuse me of crimes, I deny them, so you throw me in a cell to freeze and starve? Where is the King's Justice? I'm accused and demand a trial."
"If you're tried and found guilty, then by the king's own laws you will pay with your life."
"I understand the law."
"We have no executioner in the Eyrie. Life is more elegant here. Open the Moon Door."
[ Several men begin unwinding a giant crank on one side of the room. In between Tyrion and the raised throne is what looks like a well. The well's floor begins to open and wind comes howling through.]
Those who had not seen the moon door before leaned forward with curiosity.
"You want a trial, my Lord Lannister. Very well. My son will listen to whatever you have to say, and you will hear his judgement. Then you will leave, by one door or the other."
"No need to bother Lord Robin. I demand a trial by combat."
[Subdued laughter fills the room, Catelyn and Lysa exchange looks.]
"You have that right."
[Multiple knights come forward to volunteer as champions. But one knight does not. Lysa's eyes catch his.]
"Ser Vardis… You're quiet. Did you want to avenge my husband?"
"With all my heart, my Lady. But the Imp is half my size. It would be shameful to slaughter such a man and call it justice."
"Agreed."
"You demanded a trial by combat."
"Now I demand a champion. I have that right, same as you."
"My Lady, I would gladly fight the Imp's champion for you."
"Ser Vardis would be a tough champion to beat" Jon Arryn muttered to himself.
"I wouldn't be too glad, ser. I name my brother, Jaime Lannister."
"But perhaps not tough enough" Jon Arryn sighed.
[The room shudders.]
"The Kingslayer is hundreds of miles from here."
"Send a raven for him, I'm happy to wait."
"The trial will be today."
"Lady Arryn wishes to be done with this swiftly" Doran commented out loud, "at the expense of the accused's preferred champion."
Jon Arryn narrowed his eyes, not at Doran Martell but at his wife's image. She was being too hasty in this matter, and something told Jon that it was not because she wished to be rid of the Lannister.
"Do I have a volunteer?"
[Again, the majority of the room laughs quietly.]
"I'll stand for the dwarf."
"Look at that brother, you've made a friend" Jaime chuckled.
"Remind me to find this man when we return, brother. I would like to befriend him."