Harry Potter, Squatter
By Enterprise1701_d
Chapter 68
AN: Thank you to the many faithful readers who alerted me to the problem regarding notifications. For those who don't know, apparently, FF.net made a silent change to their notifications – you now have to log in, go to your account settings page, and activate the opt-in option to receive notifications. And, to make it even easier to keep track of, you need to re-do this every six months. How nice of them to do this without telling anyone…
Regarding the story itself – no, those aliens weren't the Hanar from Mass Effect, although now that it was mentioned, I can somewhat see where you'd think that. In my mind, I was thinking of the bio-luminescent deep-sea critters that look semi-translucent – plus, my critters are from a gas-giant, while the Hanar were from a terrestrial world. ;)
I also would like to thank those of you kind enough to check up on me while I was ill. I appreciate your love and support!
Finally, never try to write while ill. I had to scrap what I had when I noticed it was just a single long rant…
Harry walked out the fire at Camp Half-Blood, and looked around for his friends. He didn't immediately see any of them, so he kept going.
"Harry!" Annabeth called out when she noticed him from the porch of Athena's cabin.
"Annabeth!" Harry greeted back, giving his friend a hug when he reached her.
"Are you healed up already?" the daughter of Athena asked, noticing him moving without trouble. "I would have thought Lady Hestia would have kept you longer, she seemed really worried."
Harry nodded. "Mister Apollo does good work, and Hestia did want to keep me on Olympus," he replied, looking pouty all of a sudden. "Let's find the others so I only have to tell the story once," he suggested.
Annabeth nodded. "Silena is probably at the Pegasus stables, I think Percy and Grover are having a talk over near the lake, and I don't want to think about what Clarisse is doing."
Harry felt like a truck slammed into him, and he wrestled for his life for a few moments, before managing to throw Clarisse off.
"Hah! I knew some busted ribs weren't going to keep you down, Newbie!" Clarisse cheered.
Harry grinned at the Daughter of Ares, then sulked in the direction of Annabeth. "You saw her coming and didn't warn me?"
"Like I'd get in in between whatever weird kind of relationship you two have," Annabeth sniffed, yet grinned to show it was meant in good cheer and not as an insult. "Besides, you don't always get warning in real life, either."
"Too true, Wise Girl!" Clarisse agreed. "I knew I liked you for a reason!"
"Because I help you with your homework?" Annabeth suggested.
Clarisse's face fell. "Homework is the devil and should be illegal," she muttered under her breath. Before Annabeth could offer a retort, the Daughter of Ares turned back to Harry. "So, how d'you escape, Newbie? I thought you were going to be locked up for a while, considering Hestia's look."
"She wanted to," Harry said. "Let's go find everyone, it's not a story that I want to tell over and over."
"Fair enough," Clarisse agreed. "Prissy is over at the lake, chatting with his goat."
Annabeth sighed. Harry shook his head; Clarisse would never change. The Daughter of Ares grinned in her typically bloodthirsty manner, knowing that she got under their skin and letting them know that she knew.
They walked in silence, and indeed found Percy having a chat with Grover near the lake. Harry grinned, the only place that would have been more suited for a Son of Poseidon to be would have been the beach.
It looked like it had been a rather intense conversation, too, as both demigod and satyr looked like they had been caught.
"Hey guys," Harry greeted. "How are things?"
"Just… trying not to sink," Percy said, apparently not realizing he was using a very apt description for a Son of the Sea-God. "How about you? You had broken ribs and got dragged off by a pint-sized goddess!"
Harry grinned. "Mister Apollo does good work with the healing, and Hestia's just a bit over-protective. Let's go find Silena so I only have to tell the story once."
"Don't think I know her," Percy muttered, obviously wracking his brain.
"She's a Daughter of Aphrodite," Harry explained. "So, what had you two in such an intense discussion?"
Grover looked like he wanted to be elsewhere, but Percy said, "We were discussing his searcher's license, and the fact that he needs to help me on a quest in order to get one."
Grover now really looked like he wanted to make a run for it. Annabeth nodded to herself, as if confirming something, while Clarisse whistled. "Not a lot of chance of you getting a quest, Prissy," she said.
"I know," Grover answered in Percy's stead. "But if I want a searcher's license, then the Council of Cloven Elders and Mister D have decided to suspend judgment until I accompany Percy on a quest and do well – as in, I have to protect Percy and we both need to come back alive."
Clarisse whistled again. "Tall order."
"No kidding," the depressed satyr muttered.
"What is a searcher's license, anyway?" Harry asked, curious.
"It's a license for a satyr to leave camp and go search for Pan, the God of the Wild," Annabeth explained. "He disappeared two thousand years ago. A sailor off the coast of Ephesos heard a mysterious voice crying out from the shore, 'Tell them that the great god Pan has died!'. When humans – mortal ones – heard the news, they believed it. They've been pillaging the Wild ever since."
Harry nodded sadly. He wondered if he could find Pan by abusing his probability powers – but then he remembered what happened when he found Thor that way. It was the same reason he hadn't rolled the dice for Sally's location; who knew what would be the results and in what situation he would find her if he rolled the dice and abused probability like that? The amount of good luck needed to roll their coordinates was likely to generate enough bad luck that Pan or Sally could be kept in the Nameless City, in a nest of one of Queenie's relatives. Last time he'd found Thor in a cave surrounded by enemies powerful enough that Thor had needed to fight them out, and it had taken Frigga herself to put him back together.
"For satyrs, Pan was our lord and master," Grover said, picking up the explanation when he saw Harry's interest. "He protected us and the wild places of the earth. We refuse to believe that he died. In every generation, the bravest satyrs pledge their lives to finding Pan. They search the earth, exploring all the wildest places, hoping to find where he is hidden, and wake him from his sleep."
Harry nodded, that made sense. "Well, if it helps, I hope you get your license, and I hope that you find him," he told the satyr.
"Thanks," Grover said, gratefully.
As they crossed the camp to go to the stables, Harry found himself intercepted. "Harry!" Nico shouted, racing over and giving him a hug. Harry hugged back, because hugs were good, even if they came from other boys.
He'd recently realized that he preferred hugging girls to boys, but that didn't mean he was going to turn down one when offered.
"Have I said thanks yet for your help with Bianca?" Nico asked. "Because seriously, thanks. We've been Iris Messaging once or twice a week!"
"I'm glad I could help," Harry said with a grin. "Artie's nice and all, but sometimes she forgets that her Hunters have family, too."
Nico smiled in answer. "Definitely," he agreed. "Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and all," he added, suddenly looking shy. "Bye!" he obviously decided, turning around and racing off.
Harry chuckled to himself; Nico's excitement was fun. As they continued to walk toward the stables and meet up with Silena, Harry explained about Artie and her Hunters, Nico and his sister, and Iris Messaging to Percy. At the same time, he dodged Clarisse's teasing over Nico hugging him.
Someone really should put out a brochure for new demigods to cover the basics of the gods, their Chosen, and Iris Messaging, Harry thought, completely ignoring Clarisse's attempt to embarrass him.
The group reached the stables, and Harry hesitated. He swore, the pegasi still glared at him, even if Silena said they didn't.
"What's wrong?" Percy asked, seeing the hesitation. Annabeth giggled under her breath, and tried to hide it when Harry gave her a half-hearted glare.
"The pegasi," Harry explained to the Son of Poseidon. "I swear they glare at me."
"Harry," Annabeth said, on a long-suffering tone. "For the last time. The pegasi aren't glaring at you." Clarisse, in the background, turned a laugh into a cough – or tried to, anyway, through more laughter.
Harry gave Annabeth another half-hearted look, ignored Clarisse laughing at him, and reached for the door. "Come on in, see for yourself," he told Percy as he pushed the door open.
Silena was giving Orage, her pegasus, a firm brushing after a long workout. "Harry!" the Daughter of Aphrodite said, happily. Today, she had black hair with purple highlights.
"Oh, Silena," Annabeth muttered. "You look like a rock-chick."
"Thanks!" Silena chirped as she put down her brush and approached the group. Clarisse high-fived her without comment, firmly showing how the Daughter of Ares thought about the new look.
"Not a compliment," Annabeth muttered.
"Still taking it as one," Silena happily chirped back. She held out her hand to Percy. "Hi. I'm Silena. We didn't get a chance to talk yet."
"Hi," Percy replied, shaking her hand. "I'm Percy. Obviously. After all the commotion and all."
Silena giggled. "Don't worry about it," she said, before pointing at Harry. "That one creates more commotion than a dozen of you."
Harry put his hand to his chest, as if going 'Who? Me?'."
Percy laughed. "Yeah, I got that impression too," he said.
Meanwhile, Orage had stuck his head out of his stable and was looking at Harry, who desperately tried to look anywhere but at the pegasus.
Percy laughed. "You're a funny one," he told the pegasus, freezing the group and literally putting a look of surprise on the big pegasus' face.
"Oh, yeah," Harry said. "Silena Beauregard, Daughter of Aphrodite, meet Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon."
"The Father of Horses, of course!" Silena cried. "Can you understand them? Are they happy?"
Percy laughed. "Yeah, they're very happy, you're taking very good care of them." He pointed at Orage. "And he's funny. He's been glaring at Harry on purpose to make him uncomfortable."
"Wait. He doesn't hate me?" Harry asked, stunned, before realizing he was the butt of an elaborate joke perpetrated by a pegasus, and turned to face said pegasus. "What did I ever do to you!?"
"Nothing," Percy said, obviously translating, "but he saw you were uncomfortable the first time you met and he decided to have some fun with you."
Silena giggled, and turned to her pegasus. "You are a very naughty pegasus," she scolded while laughing. "I will need to punish you by making you eat an extra couple of apples."
Harry squawked at the blatant betrayal, and looked shocked at his friend. Clarisse hollered in the background, having the time of her life.
"He is extremely sorry and promises to keep doing it," Percy translated laughingly. In the background, Annabeth giggled beneath Clarisse's louder laughter.
"You can see the quality of a person by the quality of friends he keeps," Harry said, remembering Thor once saying something similar. "I wonder what it says about me when my friends conspire to have a pegasus glare at me," he complained; his tone was light and he had a grin, showing that he was just playing along.
Friends joked with each other, so he didn't mind being the butt of the joke. In all honesty, it was a good prank by the pegasus.
He conjured some fruit and approached Orage. "How about I bribe you into being nice to me?" he asked with a laugh.
Percy laughed. "He says 'now you're talking', and is ready to start haggling."
"Not too many apples, or it's all he'll eat," Silena said, pretending to be strict. Orage looked sulky.
Harry conjured some extra apples and held them out. Orage, not having to be told twice, snatched them up. "Harry," Silena said, hands on her hips, but her lips twitching.
"I'm already on your good side, I'm trying to get on his," Harry defended.
"He says you're good and he won't glare at you anymore," Percy translated, still laughing. "As long as you sneak him apples."
Silena pretended to be upset, but was unable to keep the smile off her lips or laughter from her voice.
They left the stables soon after, and by mutual agreement everyone ganged up on Harry to finally hear the story of what happened after Hestia dragged him off.
Harry dutifully explained about Hestia taking him to Apollo to get healed, before asking him to stay on Olympus and him taking the chance to do some housekeeping for Helios before having a nice meditation session where he worked on safely accessing the Akashic Records.
He ended with explaining that Hestia had thrown one look at him and known that he'd done something. So she asked him about it, giving him that one look that she was so very good at, and made him spill about the mind-meld.
"It had just been a fun trip, that's all," Harry sulkily told his friends. "Apparently I'm supposed to know better than to accept mind-meld invitations from strange minds, but that Gasbag-Jellyfish alien had been really nice and it was fun to 'race' around a giant storm on some alien gas giant." He crossed his arms, and continued on the same sulking tone. "Hestia's reaction really was exaggerated, I think. Nothing happened besides some fun, there was no need for her to give me that Look of Disappointment, or that Speech of Carefulness."
His friends stared at him. "Harry, if I understand it correctly, you could have shattered your mind. Or your sanity," Annabeth said. "Not that your sanity isn't in question anyway, mind you."
Clarisse just laughed. "Even when grounded, you find yourself in trouble," she said, jokingly. "I knew I liked you for a reason, Newbie." Silena and Percy just found themselves nodding, silently and in unison, at the wisdom of the Daughter of Athena. Grover meekly hung in the background, looking like he'd rather be somewhere else.
Harry just sulked. "Come on, guys," he tried to reason. "People panic way too easy. Pain is only temporary, and wounds heal."
Clarisse nodded silently. "It not just…" Annabeth tried to explain, then trailed off. She drew a breath. "Don't you feel any fear?"
"Sure," Harry said. "The nameless city scared me silly. Meeting Queenie scared me even sillier. Mind-melding with an alien Gasbag-Jellyfish alien and having a trip through an alien gas giant's atmosphere is just fun, not scary, and not even all that dangerous."
The quintet were silent for a few moments, sharing identical glances. Clarisse seemed to be the odd woman out, as she looked like she was actually agreeing with him. It was Annabeth who responded verbally, however. "Right. I don't think I want to know about a city without a name, or some creature you call Queenie. Knowing you, it's some monster of the highest order – you only give pet names to something utterly terrifying," the Daughter of Athena decided.
"She called herself Queen of the Universe, Marduk said she's a Xenomorph; something ancient used in an attempt to wipe out all of Humanity."
Another shocked silence met him. "Right, utterly terrifying, as I said," Annabeth said for all of them. This time, Clarisse agreed. Even if she still had a rather terrifying smile on her lips.
Percy was starting to grin; Harry may be nuts, but he was the good kind of nuts, he reckoned.
"Anyway, back to the subject at hand," Annabeth decided. "What if you get seriously hurt?"
Harry shrugged. "Like I said, pain's temporary and wounds heal. Besides, it isn't as if there aren't enough powerful people around who can put me back together should something happen, anyway."
Clarisse and Percy laughed at the look on Annabeth's and Silena's faces, letting Grover silently hang in the background where the satyr appeared to be most comfortable. "Only you, Harry, only you can think that a god will always take the time to help you. Remember what happened after we retrieved Mom's statue? You were in the infirmary!" Annabeth screamed.
"That was a quest," Harry explained, reasonably. "Gods aren't allowed to help on quests."
Annabeth made a strangled-cat sort of noise, and waved at Silena. "You try and talk sense into him!" she ordered. "He's not listening to me, and those two just keep encouraging him!" she finished, waving in the general direction of Percy and Clarisse.
"Harry," the Daughter of Aphrodite said, kindly, touching his arm. "You once told us about an intervention you had, remember how you got the Simulator?"
Harry nodded. "Of course I do. That's when I started thinking about how to best go about stuff, rather than charge in."
"And yet, you charged in, didn't you?" Silena asked.
Harry shrugged. "It wasn't all that dangerous, and it was a lot of fun," he answered. "And I didn't end up mad, so I was right."
"And did you know you weren't going to end up mad?" Silena asked, continuing on that same tone.
Harry pouted. Harry sulked. Harry gave her the puppy-dog eyes. And in the end, it did not matter and he had to answer the question.
"No," he muttered silently.
"So, in the future, will you be more careful?" she wheedled, squeezing his arm in a supportive manner.
"I guess," he muttered.
"You will, or you won't?" Silena asked.
"I will," Harry grumbled. It wasn't from the heart, though. It just felt like a conspiracy to have people stop him from having fun.
Silena released him, only looking half-convinced. "I think you're still trying to get out of the conversation," she said. "But, it's progress, so I'm willing to let it go. Next time you might be having this chat with Annabeth's mom, though."
Harry turned pale. Athena's disappointment was…
He couldn't finish the thought. That's how terrifying it was.
Desperately trying to change the subject without actually changing the subject – and therefore getting caught at changing the subject – he said, "What stings even more was Hestia telling me to go back to camp, because apparently I could get into trouble even on Olympus, and at least at camp I could only get physically hurt."
All four of his friends, and one satyr, stared at him as if questioning him really saying that. "That really did sting," Harry muttered. "I don't get into trouble." He ignored four snorts; even Percy, who hadn't known him for long, snorted at the statement. "All that much," Harry admitted. "Maybe."
"Newbie, you find trouble by walking down the road and kicking over a rock," Clarisse declared.
Harry sighed. "Alright, so I do get into trouble, but it's not my fault," he finally admitted, turning him into the recipient of three disbelieving looks and one chuckle. "Trouble comes looking for me, not the other way around," he said, defensively. "And I still don't consider that alien mind-meld 'trouble'."
"You just keep telling yourself that," Annabeth said, giving him a look that was derived from her mother.
Harry sighed again. "Other than risking my sanity," he admitted under her stern look. "Potentially. I mean, I don't feel any more insane than before."
"That's really not saying much," Silena stated.
"So I wasn't a picture of sanity before," he answered defensively. "I'm well aware of that. Something's broken inside of me, since the Dursleys. I know myself well enough to recognize that fact," he stated unequivocally. "It's why I don't trust adults."
"And yet, you trust plenty of gods," Annabeth replied.
Harry looked at her, as if seeing for the first time where the problems lay. "Gods aren't adults," he answered, as if this should have been obvious. "Gods live thousands of years, have accumulated wisdom that no human can hope to match, and they have virtual omnipotence and omniscience within their domains. I will listen to a god about their domain because a god actually knows what they're talking about when it comes to their domain. And, if you read up on them, gods come with instruction manuals."
Percy and Clarisse both snorted at the disrespectful finish, while Annabeth and Silena stared at him. Taking that as permission to continue, Harry continued. "Adults, on the other hand, seem to think that, just because they have a decade or two of age on you, they can tell you what to do, then punish you if you don't. Plus, they're unpredictable. There's no way to tell how you should act around an adult; one moment they're friendly, the next moment they're yelling. There is no way to tell the good ones from the bad ones, and trusting the bad ones even one time can get you killed – personal experience. At least with a god, you know what you're getting into."
Annabeth and Silena exchanged looks. Clarisse nodded sagely, her arms crossed and grinning widely.
"You have issues," Annabeth said, drawing a startled look from Percy, who thought that the dismissive statement was quite disrespectful to use for a friend. Even if he agreed with it, somewhat; he could definitely see where Harry was coming from, having been subjected to plenty of bad authority figures in the past.
"Yup," Harry agreed cheerfully, much to Percy's surprise and causing another bark of laugher from the Daughter of Ares. "Not that I feel like they're really issues, but I can see why you'd think that."
Annabeth gaped at his casual dismissal of his mental problems, allowing him to continue. "They're more like the voice of experience. After all, if people hadn't betrayed my trust, I wouldn't have problems trusting them, now would I? So, really, the Dursleys are to blame, in the end."
"Ehm… the Dursleys?" Percy asked, wondering if he should ask or not.
"They were the relatives I had been dumped with after my parents died," Harry explained. "Basically, think Oliver Twist, but set in modern day UK suburbia. The day they decided to 'lose' me in New York City was one of the happiest days of my life."
"Holy crap," Percy said. His demigodly dyslexia made reading a nightmare but he'd seen enough TV adaptations to get the gist of it, especially when Harry admitted to preferring being homeless in New York than living with them.
"Of course," Harry continued, "the first adult I come across who's nice is apparently looking for victims for a child-trafficking ring." He lifted his shirt and showed the old knife-scar. "I barely got out with my life – I'd escaped prison, I was going to fight to the death to stay out. You can see why I don't trust adults. Or rather, mortal adults, I should say, as apparently people confuse adults and gods. And then there was the thing with Annabeth."
Said Daughter of Athena physically shrunk and wrapped her arms around herself; that was a very bad memory. She wasn't above admitting – to herself, mind you, never out loud – that Harry had a bit of a point about trusting strangers. But only strangers.
"That explains so much," Silena said. "But seriously, haven't you met any kind, decent adults?"
"Sure," Harry said. "Luna's dad is awesome. Her mom's not too bad, but a tad skittish and overprotective, like Luna said. Albus, my school's Headmaster, fucked up royally and had me placed with the Dursleys because he thought family would take care of each other. He dropped a whole truck of balls on that one, but he's trying to make up for it and he's been pretty decent since I met him. And, on most days, I suppose that Chiron's a pretty decent bloke, too – even if he's not really an adult adult, he still acts like one on occasion."
The four campers snickered at hearing Chiron described in such a fashion. Even Grover, who was still hanging back, was smiling.
"Anyway, before we digressed about my non-existent mental hangups, I caught you all up on what happened with me," Harry continued, deftly changing the subject and closing the old one. "Let's go do something fun."
"Like what?" Percy asked, in need of some levity after the heavy discussion and willing to go along with his new friend. He wouldn't want to be the subject of that kind of discussion himself, so he was more than willing to help a friend escape the same fate.
Harry shrugged. "I don't know, there has to be something to do for fun around here."
Annabeth and Silena both nodded while Clarisse shrugged, pretending that nothing really interested her. "We could try archery," Annabeth suggested, perking Harry up; it had been so long since he held a bow! Ever since he broke his old one on Artie's trip last year, he hadn't been able to practice.
"Sounds good to me," Harry chirped happily.
0000
"I'm telling you guys, it was totally awesome!" Harry recounted excitedly to his pok… maths party buddies. "That race around the giant storm is something I'll never forget, those Gasbag-Jellyfish aliens don't know how lucky they are."
Four gods stared at him with looks ranging from thoughtful to disapproving. "And then Aunt Hestia sent you back to camp when she found out," Hermes added. "I know, one of my kids told me."
Harry pouted silently.
"Aunt Hestia was right to do so," Triton backed up his cousin. "That was highly dangerous and could have broken your mind, from what I hear."
"But it was exciting," Thor stated unequivocally, seeing which way the wind was blowing and determined to make good on an Asgardian's sense of rule-breaking in the pursuit of fun.
"Thanks, Thor," Harry said, gratefully.
"It definitely sounded exciting," Bai stated with a thoughtful nod. "Dangerous, too. But, I can see the allure. As a Shen, I have more than one state of being, and being able to just shed your skin and become something else can be highly relaxing."
"We can all change shape, Bai," Hermes reproached. "That doesn't mean Harry should break his mind trying to do so."
"I'm not talking simply shape-shifting, I'm talking about an altered state of being," Bai defended. "When I'm in this form, I am, for all intents and purposes, a Human. When I change to the Tiger, then I am a tiger. My very being is that of a tiger, to the point where more than one tiger today is descendant from me."
"Point taken, let's change the subject," Hermes decided, getting quick nods from two gods and one demigod.
"Yes, let's," Triton said, gaze leveling upon Harry in a way that felt uncomfortably heavy. "So, you have met my new… sibling," he stated, disapprovingly.
Harry ignored the heavy look, smiled, and nodded. "Yeah, Percy's a cool guy. His mom messed him up by not telling him anything so when the Minotaur came after him he was completely in the dark."
"That sounds like another story!" Thor said, excitedly, also completely ignoring Triton's disapproving glare. "But first, let's deal cards."
"Sure," Harry said, deft and nimble fingers flicking cards at the players, where they came to a complete stop at the exact right spot for their new owners to pick them up. "So, someone who I shall not name asked me to help poor Percy because he was being chased by the Minotaur…" Harry started his tale.
"… so that's when Hestia decided that I had too much fun at camp and pulled me back to Olympus, where she had Mister Apollo take a look at my ribs," he finished his telling of the story.
"I can only imagine the looks you received from everyone," Thor cried happily and snickering. "Full House."
Harry grumbled and put his cards down. Now more than ever he was aware of his probability instincts and tried to reign them in to ensure a fair game. It made the game more even between them, which was good, but it also meant he lost a lot more, which wasn't.
"Yes!" Thor exclaimed as he swiped the pot onto his stack. "My fortunes are changing!"
Triton ignored the God of Thunder and stared at Harry. "I wish you would stop hanging around that new sibling of mine. His presence… rankles."
Harry looked disappointed, a look straight from Hestia's Book of Disappointment. "I can understand the surprise, Mister Triton, but poor Percy isn't at fault. I mean, it's not his fault he was born, right?"
Three other gods kept quiet, recognizing the verbal minefield Harry was walking into and getting ready to pull the poor demigod out should he trip a verbal mine.
Triton narrowed his eyes. "His very existence is a blemish upon my mother."
"And moms are important," Harry said with all the authority of a soon-to-be 12-year old. "But Percy's not the one at fault."
Triton grunted under his breath, a puff of breath coming from his nose. "I know you want to blame him, Mister Triton," Harry said. "But honestly, Percy's not the one who cheated on your mom."
Triton snorted again, but this time in amusement. "Blaming my father will not end well, for either of us."
"Too late," Harry quipped. "Hestia already had a… talk… with Mister Poseidon."
Triton, the Messenger of the Seas, a powerful god in his own right, winced sympathetically. "I think I will refrain from commenting until I hear Father's account of that… discussion."
Harry nodded thoughtfully. "It was none of my business, so I don't know how it went and I didn't ask," he told Triton.
"Good," Triton stated. "It wasn't meant for your ears."
"But, if you want, I can tell you what happened when we took Percy shooting a bow. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen someone that bad with a bow."
Triton snorted. "Please, do share the dirt."
Harry snickered and tattled on his new friend. "… and we decided to call it quits after Chiron had to disentangle one of Percy's arrows from his tail. Chiron was nowhere near the target, so we decided that, when Percy's holding a bow, the safest spot to be is where he's aiming."
Three gods were snickering at the poor Son of Poseidon's misfortune with archery, but Triton was laughing openly. "Oh, that is fabulous. If I ever meet him, I am going to tease him mercilessly with that. Thank you for the information, Harry. It is invaluable!"
"Mister Triton," Harry sighed, pasting another one of Hestia's Looks of Disappointment on his face.
"Siblings tease each other," Triton defended himself, before looking surprising and obviously wondering why he was defending himself.
"Well, as long as it is because you see him as a sibling," Harry said, cheerfully. "So… next hand?"
"Of course," Bai said, dealing cards. "Unless you'd rather play with tiles, like a real man?"
Thor waved as if it were unimportant. "Yes, yes, we can play your silly Chinese game later," he said condescendingly.
"Major insult, deadly satisfaction," Bai grumbled, picking up his cards and staring at them.
"Yes, yes, we can play your silly Chinese game later," Thor repeated, as if totally not listening to Bai, making the White Tiger shake his fist. Still completely ignoring the Chinese god, the Norse God of Thunder went on, "That reminds me of a funny story that happened to me a couple hundred years ago. It starts with me and Baldur having a drink in a bar…"
"… of course, being more than slightly drunk at that point, I failed to catch Mjolnir on the return, so it hit me in the head and knocked me out."
The five poker players were all laughing, Thor the loudest. He never minded poking fun at himself, especially when it was something silly he did. "I don't know which was worse; the splitting headache when I woke up, or my mother's amused look as she healed me. She didn't even need to say a word, her look said it all."
"Moms have that ability," Harry agreed, thinking of some of the looks Hestia had given him.
"It is uncanny," Triton admitted with a nod. "Full House."
The other gods put their cards down. Harry grinned. "Royal Flush," he said, ritualistically, as if invoking some grand magic of old while sweeping his winnings to his side of the table.
Thor whistled. Triton shook his head in good sportsmanship. "I know when I am beaten," he admitted, picking up the deck and starting to shuffle them before dealing from them. "I know you didn't cheat, as Bai dealt the hand."
"You never know, I could have bribed him, either with good food or with the promise of playing Mahjong," Harry teased.
Bai nodded. "I would have accepted the bribe, too," the Chinese god admitted. "Seriously, what is in that chocolate?"
"Theobroma Bicolor, it's a cousin to Theobroma Cacao," Harry chirped cheerfully. "It's a bit harder to get the seeds, but once you do it's possible to process them into chocolate, kind of like regular cacao. The taste's different, though."
"No kidding," Hermes said, having finished his ages ago. "Not as in-your-face as regular chocolate, with a nutty kind of flavor."
"A lot less fat, too," Harry said.
"You had a gift for food even before Aunt Hestia adopted you," Triton stated. "It is good to see you keep it up."
"Thanks, guys," the young demigod said, a bit bashfully. He honestly wasn't that good, he felt. Hestia was loads better than him. That didn't mean he was going to stop trying, though!
As Triton dealt the cards, conversation lulled again while everyone contemplated their hand.
"Did I ever tell you guys about that time I mis-delivered a message?" Hermes asked, looking up from his cards.
"No, but that sounds like it could get messy," Harry said with an excited grin.
"Oh, it was a mess, alright," Hermes said. "How much do you guys know about World War I?"
He was the recipient of the 'stink-eye' from three other gods, while Harry shivered. "Too much," the young demigod said. "I know way too much about Would War One. Miss Athena insisted. And you don't say no to Miss Athena when she wants to teach you something – not if you still want her to teach you other stuff."
"A toast in memory of our valiant young friend," Thor said, bombastically, raising his drink. "For his suffering at the hands of the Goddess of Wisdom is legendary."
Harry snorted, but three other gods solemnly raised drinks and toasted. "Hear, hear."
"You guys aren't funny," Harry chuckled.
"Then why are you laughing?" Thor teased.
"Because I'm not funny, either, and you guys infected me," Harry shot back immediately, causing more laughter around the table. He turned to Hermes, and said, "So, what happened with the message and what does it have to do with World War One?"
"Well, at the time, the United States wasn't officially in the war – yet – and the Germans were having major successes against the Russians, so they were hoping to win in the West before the US got involved. In an effort to keep the US out of the war, the Germans sent a telegram to Mexico, promising to help Mexico recoup Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico if it declared war on the US."
"The Zimmermann Telegram!" Harry said. "You're talking about the Zimmermann Telegram!"
"Yup. As I said, it's a secret, encrypted, telegram sent from Germany to Mexico. Ehm… was supposed to, anyway. You see, Apollo and I found this little hole-in-the-wall dive bar the night before, and… well…"
"Is every story tonight going to be about you guys getting drunk?" Harry teased.
Thor snorted. "What was her name?" he asked.
"I don't recall," Hermes answered honestly. "But I recall her being brunette. Or was she blonde? No, it was a redhead. I'm sure of it." He rubbed his chin. "Anyway," he insisted, as if putting himself back on point, "I may have… sent the message over the wrong telegraph cable. It was encrypted, though, so it should have been fine."
"The Brits cracked the code, though," Harry said.
"Stupid Brits, stupid code-crackers," Hermes muttered uncharitably. "Still, it got the US involved in the war, so Father wasn't too upset. He calmed down after only half a decade. Only message I ever mis-sent, though. Always strive to never make the same mistake twice."
"Hear, hear!" Thor toasted; the other gods, plus Harry, nodded solemnly and raised their glasses as well. "There are plenty of new mistakes to make, no need to rehash old ones!" the God of Thunder added, causing snorts and laughs from the other participants.
The game went around, a few hands were won by other players.
"… so I had fallen asleep in tiger form while on guard duty," Bai admitted, "and when I woke up some devilish Shen – cough Xuan Wu cough – had tied my tail to a tree. And since there was jade in the chain he used, I couldn't exactly transform to escape."
They all laughed. "Yeah, yeah, but I never fell asleep while on guard duty again, so I guess it's lesson learned," Bai grumped, grinning to show he wasn't nearly as upset as he was pretending to be.
"While in tiger form anyway," Thor suggested.
"Exactly," Bai replied, grinning widely. "Hard to tie a tail to a tree when there's no tail."
Triton was laughing quietly and shook his head. "Three of a kind, which I think will win me the round."
"Sorry, Triton," Harry said, turning his hand over. "Royal Flush."
"What, again?" The bamboozled Messenger of the Seas said, staring at the hand.
"I'm starting to see a pattern," Thor said, rubbing his chin and pretending to be the ageless wise man.
"Trying to punish Triton, Harry?" Hermes asked, chuckling and ignoring Thor's pretend pretentiousness.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Hermes," Harry said, looking completely innocent. So innocent, in fact, he was just a hair's breadth away from growing a halo and wings.
"U-huh," the God of the Thieves said, completely unconvinced while continuing to stare at the young demigod.
Triton shook his head. "If he cheats, he's cheating off of other's people's deals – which is impossible."
"Yes, but beating you twice, both times with a Royal Flush, really does point toward someone using some kind of probability abilities," Bai stated, staring at Harry. And giving the boy a wink when no-one else was looking.
"That should show us from gambling against the Son of Tyche, though," Hermes added in. "So, level with us, Harry. Are you cheating?"
Harry gasped and put his hand to his chest. "Me? Cheating? Never. Despite me feeling a tad upset at Mister Triton, I would never be caught cheating at a card game, that's sacrilegious."
Three gods laughed and Triton desperately tried not to look amused. "So you'd cheat as long as you couldn't get caught," Triton said with a sigh. "Very well, I will consider it lesson learned. Will it help if I apologize?"
"I don't know," Harry admitted carefully, before grinning. "Will it?"
Triton snorted a chuckle. "Very well, I apologize for my comments regarding young Percy. I will reserve judgment until I have met the lad."
"Thank you, Mister Triton. That's very nice of you. I accept your apology," Harry said, cheerfully. Obviously considering the matter closed, he looked around the table at the faces of some very amused gods. Including a Norse god and a Chinese god that were equally impressed with his gumption to 'punish' a deity. "So, who's up for making Bai happy and playing some Mahjong? I'll sit out the first round."
"Oh! Oh! Me! Me!" Bai said, willing to help out his young friend and pretending to be an excited five-year-old by waving his hand in the air.
Chuckles and laughter circled the table, and the tiles were brought out.
The game went quickly, and sooner than expected, Harry found himself replacing Thor. The next game went even quicker, and the players laughed and switched out as money steadily changed hands.
"So those tourists thought they were faced with a genuine snow tiger rather than my august self," Bai recounted happily. "They looked like frightened rabbits, all shaking and trembling as if I could attack at any moment."
"Most mortals are afraid of tigers that aren't safely in a cage," Harry offered.
"Pity to them," Bai said with a chuckle. "So I approach slowly, sit down, and just stare at them."
"Then what happened?" Hermes asked, interested despite himself as he picked up a tile and discarded another.
"One of the braver ones approached," Bai recounted happily. "She was a pretty one, too. So I let her pet me."
"Oh, Bai," Triton said, sounding disappointed while playing his turn. "You'll train the mortals to approach dangerous predators."
"Or harmless Shen like me," Bai replied, not in the least bit ashamed while taking his turn. "Anyway, that broke their trance and the rest of the group approached. Since quite a few of them were ugly-ass men, I growled at those and only let the women pet me."
Thor snorted. "That is so very much like you," he accused, holding a drink while watching the game unfold. He tried to 'help' Harry, but the young demigod picked up and discarded so quickly the Norse God of Thunder had no chance of offering tips.
"Let me tell you, women love cats," Bai said, as if conferring great wisdom.
"Women love small furry creatures," Hermes stated. "Great big dangerous tigers usually aren't one of those."
"Says you," Bai stated with a lecherous grin. "I met wives number 45 and 46 in that group."
"Great, now he's marrying furries," Hermes muttered.
Harry blinked. "What are furries?" he asked, not having heard the term before.
He was met with the blank stares of four gods, each staring at someone else, urging them to tackle the topic.
"It's something perverted, isn't it?" the young demigod asked, seeing the response his question had raised.
"Yes," Hermes said, relieved. "It's something perverted. Best not ask about it, Harry."
"Indeed," Triton agreed. "That way lies madness. Just know that mortals are weird."
"Very weird," Thor added with a sage nod.
Bai just chuckled and opened his mouth. For all intents and purposes, it looked like he was going to answer Harry's question, when he was met by three pairs of furious eyes, urging him to keep quiet. "It's not as bad as these reprobates make it look," the White Tiger finally answered. "But yes, it's best to wait until you're a bit older to learn about that."
"Always when I'm older," Harry grouched. "And it's always got something to do with perversion, or molesting some poor girl, or…" his mind trailed off, finally – finally – making the connection from the context. "Ew. Ick. Yes, mortals are perverts. And so are all of you," he declared.
"Guilty as charged," Bai answered without any sort of guilt whatsoever. "Trust me, kid. The ladies love some of that… perversion. You'll find that out for yourself. When you're-"
"When I'm older, yes, I know," Harry grouched, disrespectfully cutting Bai off. "I don't want to be a pervert."
"Ah, to be young," Triton waxed poetically.
"You'll change your tune when you start noticing girls, kid," Bai said, cheerfully. "Or boys, for that matter. I don't discriminate."
Harry just kept quiet, drew a tile, and turned his hand over. "Thirteen orphans," he declared.
"Yeah, he's making a point," Hermes muttered, standing up. "You play," he told Thor. "I'm grabbing a drink."
"Nice game, kid," Bai said as the game's dealer shifted around.
"Be gentle with me," Thor teased, causing laughter from the other players. The big God of Thunder could do many things, but pulling of 'demure' wasn't one of them.
"That depends, are you done being perverts?" Harry asked jokingly.
"I think we are, right guys?" Bai asked. "I'm just saying that I'd like to win a game, and if Hurricane Harry starts pulling long odds without problems, I may as well just give him my lunch money and save him the trouble."
Harry blushed at the frank statement, and opened his mouth to apologize.
"Yes, we are," Triton decided. "No more teasing our young friend about his age or innocence. Mostly because I wouldn't want the conversation to get back to Aunt Hestia's ears, but also partly because of what Bai said."
Happy that his pok- maths party buddies weren't upset, Harry vowed to keep his probability manipulation abilities under control. Sometimes they slipped when he got upset; that's how he ended up with ridiculous hands.
Time to knuckle down and play normally.
"Tell us about your girlfriend, instead," Hermes said, drawing groans from the three gods playing.
Harry looked up. "I don't have a girlfriend," he answered.
"Oh? Do I need to tell cousin Artemis that you have abandoned her Lieutenant?" the God of Messengers teased.
"Miss Zoë is not my girlfriend," Harry answered back, a trace of heat crawling into his voice. "Besides, I haven't seen her in a long time, with Artie trying to find Mister Zeus' toy, she doesn't have time."
"I thought we agreed to stop teasing the lad?" Triton wondered, very much not touching the tiles and starting the game.
"You decided that," Hermes answered with a grin. "I'm not playing, so I'm safe. Besides, he already took my lunch money, so I'm double safe!"
He was met the glares of three unimpressed deities and a huffy demigod.
"Ignore the ass," Thor counseled. "And I'm sure that we will hear about your lady friend whenever new stories present themselves."
Harry nodded slowly and decided that yes, he better ignore his grandfather, before his abilities slipped again and he ended up with a ridiculous hand again. He didn't want to upset his pok- maths party – buddies so much that they'd stop letting him come to the games.
Hermes pouted. "You guys suck, and not in the fun way, either."
"Ew, pervert," Harry muttered.
"Ignore him," Thor recommended again, causing the demigod to nod.
"I'm ignoring you, grandfather," Harry cheekily told Hermes, knowing how much the God of Traveler didn't want to be called that.
"Ow!" Hermes yelped, as if stung. "Cheeky brat!"
"It was nothing more than what you deserve, Hermes," Triton answered. "You needled the poor lad quite enough, don't you think?"
"I guess," Hermes pouted. "But still, that was uncalled for."
"It was very much called for," Thor decided with a stern nod. "Now, shall we play? I still have lunch money, and Harry is sportsmanlike enough to give Bai and Triton a chance to win theirs back."
Harry snorted a laugh. "Alright, let's do this," he said.
0000
Percy looked up from the table where the weapons and armor appeared as if by magic, because it was magic,ready for the game of Capture the Flag. "We actually get to use these?" he asked Annabeth.
"Yup," the Daughter of Athena answered. "We're in alliance with Hermes and Apollo cabins. Clarisse and Ares cabin are allied with everyone else."
Percy gave a look over at the other team, where Clarisse and Silena were having some kind of discussion. "She's going to come after me, isn't she?" he asked.
"Yup," Annabeth agreed. "You're the new kid. She needs to know what you're made of. Don't worry, she likes you so she won't try and kill you. Just hurt you."
Percy gave her a dirty look. "Give back as good as you can," Annabeth advised. "She already likes you, as much as Clarisse can actually like someone, that is, now you just need to earn her respect for her to admit to it, like with Harry."
Percy sighed, and nodded. "Alright, General," he said, teasingly, making the Daughter of Athena stand up straighter and more proud. "Let's do this."
"Let's," Annabeth agreed.