Harry Potter, Squatter
By Enterprise1701_d
Chapter 71
"Let's discuss how I'm going to get you to my Father's front door. So you can… knock," Melinoe said with a grin.
"Not so fast, princess," a gravelly voice declared as the owner of said voice sat himself down.
Immediately, Harry felt a very familiar feeling bubble up inside of him. "Hi Ares," he said, swallowing the rage induced by the God of War's aura. Next to him, Percy stiffened and his shoulders set. Annabeth looked more afraid than angry, and poor Grover looked nervous enough to start chewing the tablecloth.
"Hiya, Brat," Ares waved. "I've come to borrow your new pals."
As Harry gaped at the audacity – he'd come to expect a lot from the God of War, but that was a new one – Ares turned to Percy. "So," he said, studying Percy. "You're old Seaweed's kid, huh?"
Percy looked ready to rip Ares' head off; the poor boy obviously had no defenses against Ares' induced-rage aura. "What's it to you?" he snapped in answer.
"Percy, this is-" Annabeth tried.
"That's okay," Ares said, holding up a hand. "I don't mind the attitude. Shows backbone. Like that one," he said, pointing at Harry. "That one has both balls and backbone. As long as they realize who's the boss." He focused on Percy again. "Do you know who I am, little cousin?"
Percy's eyes narrowed further, and Harry prepared himself to jump in when, not if, the Son of Poseidon went after Ares with some sharp implement. Then, it seemed Percy realized who he was talking to. "You're Clarisse's dad. Ares, God of War."
"That's right, Punk," Ares said with a nasty grin. "I heard you and she became good friends."
Percy looked uncomfortable. "She keeps trying to jump me."
"Exactly," Ares said, grin widened. "Keeps you on your toes and makes you better. Is my delicate little princess a good friend, or what?"
Harry snorted at the description. "Clarisse would hurt you for that description," he said.
"She'd try," Ares laughed. "Ain't I a good dad to keep her on her toes?"
Harry rubbed his forehead. This had 'Family Feud' written all over it – and he wasn't talking about some game show, either.
"Anyway," Ares said, focusing back on Percy. "I've got a bit of a proposition for your pets, and you're going to stay out of it," he said, still focusing on the Son of Poseidon despite obviously still speaking to Harry.
Harry opened his mouth, but Ares held up one finger. "You're done talking for now, Brat. I'll tell you when you can speak again."
Harry looked mutinous and started to speak anyway. "They're my-" he managed to get out, before Ares' fire-filled eyes focused on him. Really focused on him.
"You have both balls and backbone," Ares interrupted. "Like I said. That's why I… tolerate… you. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness." His eyes burned, and Harry's whole world descended into a red-hazed madness; for a moment he knew exactly how it felt to be in a World War I trench, with shells exploding all around you and not being able to poke your head out for fear of it being riddled with bullets.
"Meep," Harry managed. He'd once described Ares as a right scary bloke and the God of War had just tripled-down on that. Even with the countless hours Harry had spent with the being, he didn't think he'd ever seen Ares that scary.
"Good," Ares declared at the minor victory before focusing back on Percy, Annabeth, and Grover. All three looked pale; apparently the fact that someone could scare Harry into submission with a mere glare wasn't something they had ever counted on. "Now, I need you three to do me a favor. I was going on a little… date… with my girlfriend. We were interrupted. I left my shield behind. You're going to fetch it for me."
Harry wanted to open his mouth and speak. Ares noticed and focused on the Son of Tyche. "Consider it training. They do a quest by themselves, because they're weak-ass pansies right now, and you need to stay behind and fret about their safety because you have been carrying them, thereby preventing them from learning by themselves."
Harry's shoulders slumped. "Good," the God of War said at the silent acceptance.
Percy steeled himself at the sight of his friend being treated that way by Ares. "And why would we do you a favor? I mean, I – we – already have a quest."
Ares glared at Percy. To the Son of Poseidon's credit, he didn't quail under the look, although he did look pale and shaky. "I know all about your quest, Punk. When Zeus' toy – and I love that description, by the way, Brat – was first stolen, Zeus sent his best out looking for it. Apollo, Athena, Artemis, and me, naturally. If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful…"
The God of War licked his lips, as if the very thought of the Master Bolt made him hungry. "Well… if I couldn't find it, you got no hope. Nevertheless, I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Your dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath."
"You told him Hades stole the bolt?" Percy asked.
"Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest."
"Thanks," Percy grumbled, not sounding grateful in the least. Harry wanted to snicker at the disrespectful, sarcastic tone, but the mere memory of Ares' glare made him hesitate.
"Hey, I'm a generous guy. Just do my little job, and I'll tell you something you need to know. Something about your mother."
"My mom?" Percy asked, sitting up. Harry knew the deal had been done at that moment; Percy would let the world burn for his mother.
Ares' lips pulled back, he knew it, too. "Got your attention, I see, Punk. The waterpark's in Denver, on Delancy. You can't miss it. Look for the 'Tunnel of Love'."
Percy looked like he still had some backbone left, and asked, "What happened on the date? Did something scare you off?"
Harry wanted to applaud the Son of Poseidon for standing up for himself; Ares only respected those that stood up for themselves. The God of War narrowed his eyes, but there was something off about it; almost as if there was a hint of nervousness in Ares' behavior.
"You're lucky you got me, Punk. Other Olympians don't tolerate disrespect like I do. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me."
He vanished.
Harry sighed. "I don't know what got his pants in a bunch," the Son of Tyche muttered. "Anyway, it looks like you got a side-quest," he told his friends.
"And why should we do as he says?" Percy asked.
Harry grinned. "Hey, I'm all for standing up to Ares, it's the only way to get any respect from him. But, he's still a god. Plus, helping people's the right thing to do. He needs help, no matter how crudely he asked for it, so helping him is the right thing to do."
Percy looked rebellious.
"And if we don't help, he'll turn us into rats or something," Annabeth added.
"He can't do that!" Percy shouted, before turning to Harry. "Can't he?"
"He's a god," Harry repeated with a shrug. "Gods do worse than turn people into rats. Just look at Medusa."
Percy paled, then stared at his plate. "He looked nervous about the waterpark. What could make the God of War nervous?"
"I'm afraid we'll have to find out," Annabeth said, sounding about as excited as Percy was.
"Sorry about that, kids," Melinoe said, drawing attention to herself as they had forgotten she was even there. "As a minor goddess, I can't stand up to an Olympian. And Lord Ares… well, he's scary when he wants to be."
Harry nodded, he'd found that out for himself just now. "Don't worry, Mel," he consoled her. "I'll stick around the hotel, like Ares said. And I have confidence that Percy, Annabeth, and Grover can find Ares' shield."
0000
Harry dragged himself toward the elevator. Contrary to what he'd told Mel, he did worry about his friends. At the same time, he also worried about Ares' words, about carrying his friends and thus preventing them from doing things by themselves.
Athena's lessons about giving someone a fish or teaching them to fish for themselves stuck in his mind. Was his presence preventing his friends from growing? At the same time, he was pretty sure they'd be in trouble without him – they had no money, food, or other necessities, those were all lost when the Furies attacked the bus his friends had been on.
He'd tried to convey as much good advice as he could in as short an amount of time as he could before they left, to the point where Percy had rolled his eyes and Annabeth had told him to stop 'mother-henning'.
He sighed as he reached the elevator. He knew he worried about his friends, that was what good friends did, right?
Besides, he had to trust them to know what they were doing. Even if Percy only had a couple of weeks worth of training. Annabeth had been on an adventure with him before, to save her mother's statue, and she had training for years on top of it. With her along, things couldn't possibly fail, right?
Furies attacked their bus and destroyed their supplies, his mind reminded him.
He grunted; he had to get these thoughts under control.
And he knew just where to go, too, so he reached for the elevator button.
The moment he pushed the call button, he felt something. Immediately, his mind shifted from 'mother hen' to 'seasoned adventurer', and his narrowed his eyes in thought.
"Now, you wouldn't be thinking about doing the 'River of Blood' thing from the elevator, would you?" he asked The Overlook. "Because that one's been done."
The hotel seemed to gasp in outrage, before going thoughtful. The elevator dinged, the door slid open, and Harry casually stepped inside of the cabin.
The Overlook felt thoughtful all the way down to the basement parking, where Harry simply got off and walked toward his intended target.
"Hi Christine," he told Mel's automobile.
The 1958 Plymouth Fury blinked her headlights at him. He grinned at her; he liked Christine. "How've you been? Has Mel been taking good care of you?" he asked.
The car honked with a sassy 'duh' kind of tone that told him everything he needed to know, and caused him to snicker. "You know I had to ask," he joked, before putting a hand on her hood. "I'm on a quest. Well, my friend Percy is on a quest and I'm tagging along, basically."
He started talking, and kept talking, as a massively haunted car was an excellent listener. By the time he was done, he was sitting with his back against her front right tire, looking up and over his shoulder at Christine. "So of course, now I'm worried about them. And worried about depriving them of training and helping them too much."
He had the curious sensation of Christine, despite being parked and completely still, giving him a gentle nudge. Kind of like how a cat would sometimes rub against someone's hand when they wanted petting.
He stood up and touched her hood again. "Thanks, Christine. You're a good friend. And a good listener."
The car still didn't move, but felt once more like it gave a nudge. He patted her roof. "I'll stop whining at you now before I bore you," he joked. "See you later, Christine."
The car honked at him, and it sounded supportive.
He walked back to the elevator and called it.
For a moment, he wondered whether The Overlook was going to try and pull the 'River of Blood' again, this time somehow without him knowing.
The bell dinged and the door slid open, to reveal the Goddess of Ghosts that owned and haunted the place. "Well hello, Harry," she said with a grin.
"I just had a chat with Christine," Harry said, answering her grin with a smile. "She's an excellent listener. She doesn't talk much, but she's an excellent sounding board."
"She's still mine," Melinoe said defensively.
"I know," Harry snickered as he entered the elevator with her. "I wouldn't dream of thinking otherwise."
Mel eyed him for a moment, then smiled. "Good. And don't forget it. Anyway, that wasn't why I came to find you. I came looking for you to see if you knew why the hotel feels… sulky."
"It tried the 'River of Blood'," Harry explained. "And I explained it was a cliché."
Mel nodded thoughtfully. "That would do it," she said. "Better be careful, I have the feeling that The Overlook is cooking something else up."
The moment she said it, the floor of the elevator cab fell open, as if it were on a hinge on one side, dropping Harry into the darkness below.
"Waa!" he managed before hitting some deep-dark, freezing-cold water. He managed to inhale a good amount of it with his gasp of surprise, before managing to swim to the surface.
As his head breached, he coughed his lungs clear while simultaneously thanking the God of the Seas for teaching him to swim in the ocean. After finally managing to get his coughing fit under control, Harry looked around.
Wherever he was, it was completely dark, no stars shone overhead and if he squinted he could just about make out where the light of the elevator cab was.
It was very very far away, and he asked himself whether he could really have fallen that far in that short an amount of time.
He managed to get his wits together, and formed some Shen to carry him aloft. Pulling himself out of the water was easy, but his feet had barely cleared or he hit some kind of invisible wall.
No. Not, not an invisible wall. A wall that was painted completely black. Even the 'light' of the elevator cab was an illusion.
Or so it seemed, anyway.
Still, he was standing on top of the water, rather than swimming in it, which helped to maintain his body heat. That water was freezing.
He whistled. Surely Bucephalus, his trusty Ghost Horse, could get him… out… of… here…?
There was no ghostly neigh. There was no ghostly warhorse. There was just Harry, and the lapping of the waves beneath his feet. He started to realize he was in deep trouble. For a moment, he wondered what to do next, when something pinged on his demigodly senses.
He became aware of the fact that he wasn't alone. Something was moving through the inky darkness.
The fin of a shark.
Harry blinked; he'd been dropped somewhere with sharks. And without access to his Ghost Horse.
When the fin came toward him, he noticed something else.
Rather than a large fin rather close by… it was a huge fin further away.
Harry gulped. He'd been dunked somewhere with prehistoric sharks.
He did what any smart adventurer would do when cold, wet, alone, and without a means of transportation. He turned tail and ran for it. Using his Shen he ran atop the water, as fast and as far as he could. His instincts warned him, the shark was still following him. Whatever it was, it was huge, it was faster at swimming than he was at running, and it had malicious intent.
Harry risked a glance over his shoulder.
No fin.
Stopping, he turned to behold the flat surface of the black and murky sea. "What the…" he said to himself, wondering where the shark had gone.
He blanched.
His probability senses called him a dumbass.
He looked down, and saw a huge shadow, darker than the black of the ocean, rise straight up toward him.
Knowing he had no chance to run away, he manifested Godslayer and his shield, pulled himself into a ball, pulled his shield over his head, stuck out his sword, and told himself that, if this giant shark was going to eat him, he was going to give it indigestion and carve his way out.
The next moment, he screamed as the giant shark swallowed him hole.
He became aware of someone laughing, and cautiously opened one eye and peeked out from under his shield.
Melinoe was laughing her ass off, and he was back in the elevator cab, curled into a ball, still holding out his sword and still cowering beneath his shield.
"Wha…?" he managed.
"Harry, you screamed like a little girl!" the Goddess of Ghosts guffawed. "Oh gods, I haven't laughed this hard in forever!"
Harry swallowed and cautiously stood up, dismissing his sword and shield, and starting to realize he had been in an elaborate illusion. "An illusion?"
"Yup. Seemed like The Overlook took your challenge and ran with it," Melinoe laughed.
Harry put a hand on the wall. "That was unfair, evil, and uncalled for," he told the hotel, which seemed surprised at his response. "It was absolutely epic. I haven't been terrified like that in a LONG time," he finished excitedly.
The Overlook's presence seemed smug and amused at his response, now apparently understanding that Harry wasn't going to whine like a baby.
The demigod in question turned to Mel. "Now, I need to go to my room and get changed."
Melinoe blinked and looked at him questioningly.
"I wasn't kidding about the absolutely terrified part. Being eating by a giant shark is apparently a trigger for me, who knew," he explained calmly. After being eaten by a giant shark, the adrenaline burning ice-cold in his veins, and screaming like a little girl, he had depleted his reserves of embarrassment.
Ironically, his lack of shame actually made it seem all the more impressive to Melinoe. Not that she would ever admit to it, mind you.
The Goddess of Ghosts snickered. "Glad you can take it," she told him, pushing a button to put the elevator back in motion.
"Don't talk the talk unless you can walk the walk," Harry said. "I threw down the gauntlet by outing the River of Blood, I can't complain now that The Overlook found the second-worst fear I've ever had."
The hotel felt curious, rather than upset, at being his second-worst fear.
"What's the first?" Mel asked, curious, as the elevator reached its destination.
"The Nameless City," Harry said, his words somehow twisting and taking on a shadow of darkness as they rebounded through the elevator's cab. Apparently, with them being inside The Overlook, the very concept of that place had weight when spoken of.
"Yeah, I can see that," Melinoe said, looking rather pastier white than usual.
"Although honestly, I didn't need a change of pants afterwards, but that was likely because I was cowering in Marduk's shadow most of the time," he explained, ignoring the debacle with Queenie. He'd been too busy to be scared. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I need a change of pants." He patted the wall. "Good one, and nobody got hurt. You'll scare the crap out of people. Literally."
Melinoe snickered behind him as he walked stiffly toward his room.
0000
Melinoe was laughing, somewhere in her private living area when Harry went to find her. "Mel? What's so funny?" he asked, tracking the goddess down by her laughter and finding her in a private living room, on a couch, watching a Hephaestus TV set – which wasn't as big as his, he noted silently. Not that he was competing, mind you. Just that he would win if he was, that's all.
"Harry!" the Goddess of ghosts cheered. "Sit down, you have to see this! Your three little friends tripped one of Lord Hephaestus' traps and they're about to make fools of themselves! It'll be hilarious!"
Harry immediately felt worried and fell down on the couch next to her. "Mel, they're my friends, please don't laugh at them!"
Melinoe snickered slowly, trying to catch herself. "Sorry," she said with a giggle. "I'll try to laugh only when it's funny."
Harry grumpily shot her another disappointed looked before focusing on the Hephaestus TV set.
It featured Percy, Annabeth, and Grover in some kind of dilapidated, abandoned water park. The primary focus seemed to be an empty pool with slanted sides, as if someone had turned the empty pool into a skate-park. The pool was large, and terminated on the other side in a 'Tunnel of Love' ride that made Harry groan; "Thrill Ride O' Love, This isn't your parents' Tunnel of Love!"
Melinoe snickered at his groaning.
At the bottom of the empty pool sat a two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little pink hearts painted all over it. It made Harry groaned again.
"Don't diss it, Harry. Girls love that sort of thing," Melinoe teased.
Harry ignored her; if he ever turned into a pervert he was going to have a better taste in girls – ones that didn't go for that sort of crap. Like Zoë; he'd definitely need to find a girl like her if he ever was going to start doing that sort of stuff.
Focusing back onto the Hephaestus TV, Harry realized the boat held a familiar-looking scarf and a gleaming bronze shield that could only be Ares'.
Around the pool, various statues of Cupid had been arranged, and it seemed that someone had turned them into a trap; their heads had folded back to reveal Hephaestus TV cameras, and their bows had created a web of golden wires that formed a net over the deep and empty pool
Grover was outside of it; somehow he'd acquired a set of winged shoes that he was using to fly up and pulled the webbing apart but golden threads started to wrap around his hands so he was forced to let go.
Around the empty pool sat a circle of mirrors; said mirrors now folded open like hatches to release a multitude a mechanical creepy-crawlies. They had bronze bodies built out of gears, spindly legs, little pincer-mouths, and they were all scuttling toward Annabeth and Percy, who had apparently descended into the empty pool to retrieve Ares' abandoned shield.
It made sense to Harry now; apparently someone had set a trap for Ares and now the God of War had tasked his friends with springing it. He was going to have a chat with Ares after this was all over with!
In the background, some mechanical voice was counting down. "Live to Olympus in 30."
Harry groaned; whoever set this trap had a diabolical sense of humor. Start the live-stream immediately but set a timer to make the victim think he had a chance. It was smart, but he wished it wasn't aimed at his friends right now.
The mechanical beasties were spitting out threads of metal now, trying to capture the Son of Poseidon and the Daughter of Athena. Both scuttled away, but there were dozens if not hundreds of the little things and the two demigods were starting to get overwhelmed.
Harry jumped, but Mel pulled him back. "Remember, Lord Ares said you couldn't interfere."
"But they're in trouble!" Harry protested.
"That's your quest, remember? To not interfere?" Melinoe asked. "I'm all for you getting yourself in trouble, but I wouldn't want to be on Aunt Hestia's bad side AGAIN if I didn't at least try to be responsible."
Harry crossing his arms. This sucked. His friends were in trouble and he could help, but he wasn't allowed to. It rankled.
And it worried him. Worried him a lot. His friends needed help, and he wasn't allowed to help, and he didn't want them getting hurt.
He flinched and jumped up again when Percy kicked one of the things away from Annabeth's leg, only to have another one take a bite out of his shoe.
Percy looked panicked. Harry almost made it a step away from the couch before Melinoe grabbed him and put him back down. "Remember, Lord Ares said this was their opportunity to grow."
"It's their opportunity to die!" Harry said, angrily.
"Some friend you are, when you don't have any confidence in them," Melinoe stated. Harry gaped at her. She looked smug at having found a good button to mash.
He sunk down on the couch, twitching as if it contained a pincushion that kept poking him.
"Just relax," Mel said with a snicker as she pointed at the screen where Annabeth looked absolutely panicked and Percy looked as desperate as a cornered rat. "From the rumor-mill, it's no different than the situations you get into. Just imagine you're Aunt Hestia, watching yourself."
As Harry's mind processed that, it short-circuited. Was this how Hestia felt when he got himself into an exciting situation? What this why she kept urging him to be careful?
If so, he'd sincerely underestimated how his excitement impacted other people.
In the meantime, Percy seemed to have developed a plan, and was now looking for something. He seemed to have found something, and was now urging Grover to fly over to some kind of glass booth – a glass booth that looked like it was some kind of control room.
Harry sighed and sunk into the couch properly, shelving the whole debate on fun versus not-fun for later, and noted that he was going to interrogate Grover to within an inch of his life about that pair of winged shoes.
Annabeth looked like she was immensely grateful to not be an arachnophobe anymore, but at the same time still looked like she wanted to crawl as far away from the mechanical bugs as possible. She and Percy had taken shelter in the heart-covered boat, and the mechanical things were crawling over the sides.
Grover looked desperate and was motioned to the trapped duo that he had pushed every button and pulled every lever, and yet nothing had happened.
And then, it happened. Percy closed his eyes, and focused. Harry sat upright. Next to him, Mel was hooting. "Go, little cuz! Go!"
Water exploded from the pipes, roaring into the empty pool like a tsunami, wiping away the mechanical spiders as if they were made of tissue. Percy grabbed Annabeth, shoved her into the seat next to him, and snapped the seatbelt shut around her right before the tidal wave of water smashed into the dinky vessel.
It submerged for a moment, but Percy wasn't the Son of Poseidon for nothing and soon the not-a-submersible emerged from below the water line, free of mechanical bugs, bopping and weaving upon the howling currents.
The Hephaestus-TV cameras had turned on their spotlights, still pretending they were only NOW 'going live'. Percy appeared to flatly ignore them, and instead the Son of Poseidon had a look fo utter focus on his face as the dancing vessel turned and rode the current.
Without a rudder, let alone a steering wheel, Percy had the little boat under complete and utter control; it stayed away from the walls despite the vicious current smashing short-circuiting mechanical bugs to pieces all around them.
The water level kept rising, and for a moment Harry worried that the boat would smash itself against the net locking his two friends in, right before the boat spun one last time, following the current down and through the tunnel of love.
Annabeth, once she calmed down, was going to kill Percy. Harry was sure of it; the Daughter of Athena was very conscious about things like that.
Harry wasn't able to follow what happened in the tunnel itself, but the picture abruptly cut to the exit of the tunnel, where water was now trickling out as a prelude for the deluge to come.
Unfortunately, it also revealed that the exit was barred shut, and two previous boats had smashed themselves to pieces on it.
Screaming became audible, only to increase in volume right before the deluge of water carrying Percy and Annabeth's boat appeared. Said screaming became even louder, apparently coming from said two demigods.
Mel laughed loudly. Harry tried to hide a smile; his friends weren't going to live that down for a while.
"Giant sharks," Mel reminded him.
"Giants sharks eating you are scary. A somewhat more exhilarating than normal boat ride isn't," Harry protested.
Mel snickered. "They're your friends. And I'm tattling."
"Evil, vicious goddess," Harry protested.
"Goddess of Ghosts, Kiddo. It's in the job description. Now, shouldn't you pay attention? It looked like your friends are about to do something stupid."
Harry focused on the TV once more. Percy had unclipped Annabeth's seatbelt and was now grabbing her. Harry winced; Annabeth didn't like being manhandled at the best of times…
Instead, she seemed to calm down and realize Percy's idea. They apparently had some sort of small discussion about it, Percy relented, and the two jumped when Annabeth said so.
The boat crashed into the pile-up and it seemed Annabeth's decision had given them just a tad more lift than desired – rather than landing in the end-pool beyond the barrier, they were going to miss said pool and smash into the asphalt.
Harry left the couch once more, and Mel pulled him down with a laugh once more.
Instead of smashing their heads open on the ground, Grover pulled off a miraculous rescue, grabbing Percy by the belt and Annabeth by the arm, trying to slow their descent. It only worked partially, and the whole heap of teens smashed into a photo-op sign.
Percy grabbed Grover, seemingly thanking him for his life, before looking at the closest camera. "Show's over! Thank you! Good night!" the utterly pissed-off Son of Poseidon yelled.
The picture turned black. "Huh, Mister Hephaestus actually listened," Harry said with a snort.
"The trap was probably for Lord Ares and Lady Aphrodite," Mel said with a shrug. "Too bad your friends got caught up in the shenanigans."
Harry grunted under his breath. Intellectually, he'd known that Aphrodite didn't keep to any wedding vows – she was the Goddess of Love, not the Goddess of Marriage. Plus he, himself, was the Son of Tyche, who, in turn, was the daughter of Hermes and Aphrodite.
But still – Hermes was a nice guy. Ares… well… wasn't. His grandmother could do a lot better than the God of War, in Harry's opinion.
He had some serious thinking to do.
0000
When the trio returned to The Overlook, Harry had the distinct impression that the haunted hotel felt sorry for them. They were dressed in pilfered Waterland merchandise, t-shirts, caps, and so forth, but after their harrowing adventure they looked like half-drowned kittens.
No wonder even the most-haunted hotel in the world felt like they deserved a break and somehow materialized some dry, freshly-cleaned clothing for them.
Then again, Harry wouldn't have trusted the mischievous hotel so quickly and would have kept an eye out for shenanigans, but his three friends had simply taken the clothes and raced to go change.
"That was nice of The Overlook," Harry said, somewhat doubtfully.
"Hey!" Mel protested the innocence of her murderous hotel. "The Overlook can be nice."
Harry just looked at her.
"Rarely, but it happens," Mel added, quieter.
When his three friends returned, Harry had to stifle a laugh. And there we have it, he thought to himself.
Two demigods and one Satyr looked rather disgruntled, dressed in clothes that looked like they had once adorned a 1930's-era silent movie villain, including the cape with the high collar.
"At least they're dry," Annabeth muttered.
Melinoe was laughing her head off.
"They weren't like this when we put them on," Percy defended. "They turned into this when we stepped in the elevator!"
"Yeah, I don't think that's you," Harry said, somehow able to keep his composure and pretending to look them over and give honest fashion advice. He received three nasty looks in return for his efforts. He ignored said looks. Mel laughed louder. "If you want, I can try going to Camp Half-Blood and get some more clothes for you guys," Harry then offered.
Right before the shadow of a nearby couch came alive and tried to bite a chunk out of his leg.
"Or maybe not," he added as he jumped away and swiped his sword through said shadow. Unfortunately, said shadow was just a shadow and therefore wasn't effected by the weapon, but fortunately, Harry's realization caused it to go back to being an inanimate play of light and darkness.
"Great," Percy muttered. "Now we'll be confused for cosplayers."
"At least you're dry," Harry reminded them, hoping to be supportive.
Melinoe suddenly stopped laughing and looked worriedly toward the entrance of The Overlook. The transition was so abrupt that it also stopped the conversation about clothing and set the three demigods and one satyr on high alert.
"I think your side-quest is about to end, kids," Melinoe said, suddenly all business. "Let's go into the dining hall. Your… guests… are waiting."
They trooped into the dining room, only to find it deserted despite The Overlook being a fully booked hotel.
Instead, the massive room held just two people.
"Gran!" Harry shouted, happily, rushing over and giving Aphrodite a big hug while completely ignoring Ares skulking at her side.
"Harry!" Aphrodite said back, lovingly at yet somehow airheadedly. "It has been too long," she crooned, squeezing his cheek and bopping his head back and forth. "A grandmother could think her grandson didn't love her anymore."
"AIM SOWWY," Harry managed, despite his cheek being squeezed.
"Aww, you're soo cute when you're sorry!" Aphrodite squealed, grabbing him into a hug and squeezing him.
"I love you too, Gran," Harry said as he allowed the Goddess of Love to play her air-headed public persona.
"Of course you do, I'm the most lovable person in existence!" Aphrodite said, releasing him. "Anyway, I heard from my Honey-poo that he sent your three little friends on a little errand, so I thought I'd invite myself along."
Harry, Percy, Annabeth, and Grover all quietly stared at Ares; the God of War wasn't blushing, but it was only with a very obvious and very supreme effort of will.
Instead, the Surly god coughed. "Ahem. Yes."
Harry kept staring at Ares, his mind making various connections he hadn't necessaruly made before.
First, Aphrodite and Ares were in a relationship, despite her being married to Hephaestus.
Second, it wasn't the first time Aphrodite strayed, apparently, as his own mother, Tyche, Goddess of Fortune, was the result of her having it on with Hermes.
Third, he wondered if something else was going on, because despite appearances, that trap Hephaestus had put in place at the abandoned water park wasn't that deadly.
He crossed his arms and put his best 'stern face' on as he looked at Ares. "So, Ares, you're in a relationship with my Gran," he said – a statement, not a question.
"What about it, Brat?" Ares demanded, glaring at Harry.
"She's my Gran," Harry said, flatly. "So, I'm going to have to step up as a family member," he added, attempting to intensify his glare. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to have a lot of effect on the God of War, so Harry continued, "So, if you hurt her, I'm going to have to hurt you. And if you break her heart, I'll break your legs." He stuck his hand out. "Deal?"
Ares gaped, floored at the audacity of the young demigod in front of him. "Brat!" he finally snarled. "Did you forget who I am!?"
Harry shook his head and wiggled his outstretched hand. "You're Ares," he said. "And I don't want to use the most powerful weapon a demigod ever possessed."
The God of War blinked, looked at the outstretched hand, looked back at Harry, and finally said, "Godslayer's not up to the Godslaying stage yet, Brat."
Harry chuckled. Of course Ares would focus on the sword. "I am talking about praying to my adoptive mother," he reminded the God of War.
"You'd tattle to Aunt Hestia?" Ares demanded.
"It's only cheating if the other guy does it," Harry reminded Ares of the earliest lesson in fighting the God of War ever gave him.
Ares stared for a few more moments, before grunting. Finally, he released a chuckle, and his huge paw enveloped Harry's still-outstretched hand. "Fine. Deal."
"Thanks, Ares! I knew I could count on you," Harry said, smiling widely. "You two have fun."
"Oh, we will," Aphrodite squealed. "So much fun. Including some very romantic overtures-"
"Ahem," Ares grunted. "Yes. No need to tell about those."
"But they could learn, Honey-poo!" Aphrodite shouted.
Harry, his three friends, and one God of War, looked like they wanted to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible. "Ehm, we're too young for that, Gran!" Harry said, reaching for the first excuse he could think of.
"Yes! Way too young! And this is coming from me," Ares said, seeing a bandwagon and jumping on it while the jumping was good.
"Oh, poo," Aphrodite pouted, crossing her arms and pretending to look upset. Harry saw her wink at him while everyone else was distracted, however, so he knew it was all part of the act.
Harry turned to Percy. "Sorry to hijack things, mate. But this had to be done."
Percy, rather than upset, looked like'd enjoyed Harry trying to scare Ares. He laughed. "No worries, man," the Son of Poseidon said, still snickering. Annabeth and Grover, better acquainted with gods and their actions, looked pale.
Ares looked at the three adventurers, crossed his arms, and pretended the last couple of minutes of conversation did not take place. "Well, well," he said. "You didn't get yourselves killed."
Harry rolled his eyes at the blatant over-the-top acting of his close-in-combat teacher.
Percy went from 'snickering' to 'upset' in the blink of an eye. "You knew it was a trap," the Son of Poseidon accused.
Harry wondered about that, considering the fact that Hephaestus was God of the Forge and basically the weapon smith for Olympus, if he wanted his trap to be lethal, it would have been lethal, and not some mechanical spiders and a giant net.
Ares, meanwhile, was chuckling. "I bet that crippled blacksmith was surprised when he netted some stupid kids instead of yours truly. You looked good on TV, kid."
Percy growled and shoved the shield at the God of War. "You're a jerk," the Son of Poseidon accused. Annabeth and Grover paled further and took a surreptitious step away from Percy, as if afraid of being caught in the blast radius.
Ares laughed, grabbed the shield, and seemed to throw it over his shoulders; in mid-air it changed into a bullet-proof vest and draped itself around his broad shoulders accordingly. "Guilty," he acknowledged freely. "Glad to see you still have a spine."
Percy scowled.
"Here," Ares said, "don't claim I never got you anything," he added, throwing a blue nylon backpack at Percy. The Son of Poseidon couldn't contain his curiosity and glanced inside; it had a pouch full of drachmas, a bag of snack food, and fresh clothes for all three of them.
Percy looked ready to toss the backpack in Ares' face, but before he could either follow through, or even say anything, Harry stopped him. "Ares doesn't do 'gifts', but he does do 'surprises'. My birthdays are challenges on my life, basically. Last year he pitted me against a dragon for the right to 'earn' my birthday 'surprise'."
Percy paled, suddenly realizing that a giant net and some mechanical bugs weren't the worst thing that could have happened to them. He threw the backpack over a shoulder in a nonchalant fashion.
Ares grinned at the blatant disrespect. Harry knew Percy was just acting out of anger, and it amused him to no end that he was ending up earning Ares' respect completely by accident.
"You still owe me something," Percy stated. "You promised information about my mother."
Ares grunted, before shrugging. "She's not dead."
"I know that," Percy said, jabbing a finger in Harry's direction. "Harry told me. He has someone out looking for her."
Ares, for the first time, looked surprised. "Of course he caught it," the God of War said, as much to himself as to anyone else. "Do you know why?" he asked, louder and very much aimed at Percy.
Percy blinked. Harry frowned; he really should have thought more about the why.
"I guess not," Ares said with an evil grin. "You need to study war, you little punk. You kidnap someone to control someone else. Either to make them give you something, like ransom, or ensure their behavior."
"Nobody is controlling me," Percy stated.
Ares looked amused. "Oh? So you're not racing off to the underworld?" he asked.
Percy refused to be intimidated, and shot back instead. "You're pretty smug for a god who runs from cupid statues."
Harry winced; Ares liked it when people stood up for themselves, but insulting him was crossing the line.
The dining room filled with hot, potent, thick, murder. Ares' eyes narrowed and his pupils glowed. "Be careful, Percy Jackson. We will meet again. Next time you're in a fight, watch your back."
Aphrodite coughed. Ares looked at her. The Goddess of Love smiled vapidly.
Ares grunted. "Come on," he told her. "Let's get out of here. This place stinks."
Harry felt, rather than saw, Melinoe stiffen behind him, and he could feel the presence of The Overlook doing the same.
"Please don't insult my friends, Mister Ares," Harry asked politely. "Mel's got a nice place here, and The Overlook is loads of fun."
Ares switched his glare from Percy to Harry. "Then your friends better learn to stand up for themselves, Brat."
"Mel's scared of Major Gods for some reason I can't fathom," Harry replied cheekily, crossing his arms. "So I'm looking out for her, same way I'm looking out for Gran."
Ares snorted, but the animalistic rage in his eyes had died down. "You're going to get yourself killed standing up for your friends one of these days, Brat."
"It's a good way to go," Harry acknowledged.
"And you still have balls of steel," Ares stated. "Come on, Dite. Let's get out of here." With a glance at Harry, he added, "The place isn't bad, but it's filled with brats."
Harry grinned, and waved. Ares snorted again, before turning to leave.
"Go ahead, Honey-poo," Aphrodite said, waving him on. "I should have a talk with my grandson."
Ares froze for a moment, seemed to pick on something in her tone that may or may not have been there, and shot a supportive glance at Harry. "Better you than me, Brat," he told the demigod in question, before turning and striding out.
Honestly, as he walked out, Harry imagined dramatic movie music and a waving cape accompanying the God of War, his exit was that dramatic.
"Excuse me, Lady Aphrodite," Melinoe said respectfully. "This won't take but a second," she added, before grappling Harry in a tight hug.
"I can't believe you said that to the God of War," the Goddess of Ghosts said as she crushed him in the tightest hug he'd ever gotten – and he'd had his spine rearranged by Queen Rhea, so he'd had some doozies. She immediately released him, then grabbed his shoulders. "And I don't want you saying that ever again," she admonished. "He's right, you're going to get yourself killed. And then Aunt Hestia will kill me."
Harry smiled widely at her, then hugged her himself. "Ares is a scary bloke," he told her, "but he's not going to kill me over standing up for myself or for my friends." He released her and looked at Percy. "But he does kill for people insulting him," he warned his friend. "So standing up for yourself and showing spine is good. Insulting him isn't."
Percy shrugged and looked not at all apologetic.
Harry shrugged back. "At least he'll make it quick, I suppose," he said with a grin. "Better get smote by Ares' sword then turned into a furry woodland critter by Artie or getting yourself cursed into a monster by Miss Athena."
Percy paled, suddenly realizing that Harry wasn't kidding.
Mel, meanwhile, looked at Aphrodite, who was standing nearby with a wide smile on her face. "Sorry to hijack him, Lady Aphrodite. It had to be done."
The air-headed public persona of the Goddess of Love giggled in an obnoxious fashion that grated on Harry's nerves. "Oh, that's quite understandable, dear. I understand completely." She walked over to Harry and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now, shall we have a chat?"
"Ehm… sure, Gran?" Harry replied, starting to wonder why he felt 'trouble' vibes coming from her.
"In private," the Goddess of Love added, a dangerous velvety undertone in her voice that made it an edict rather than a command or a suggestion.
"Sure," Harry said. "This way, we can use my room."
"That'll do just marvelously," Aphrodite simpered in her air-headed fashion.
As they left the dining hall, Harry saw his friends, demigod, satyr and minor goddess alike, look incredibly uncomfortable. It seemed that his grandmother's public act was grating on everyone's nerves.
The Overlook's presence felt like it was looking for an opportunity to… prank… them as they walked, but for some reason it kept deciding against the practice.
"This hotel feels murderous," Aphrodite said as they walked.
"It's not so bad," Harry defended it. "I explained to it that killing the customers means no repeat business, so The Overlook is keeping its pranks non-lethal. Scary, though. Really scary, when it wants to be." He had an uncomfortable flashback to some giant shark coming up beneath him. "But strictly non-lethal. It can't be held responsible for resulting phobias or psychological damage, though. People know what they're getting into when they book here."
The Goddess of Love made a strange noise that was equal parts impressed and unimpressed.
Harry grinned, before taking out the large brass key and unlocking the door to his room. Showing his grandmother inside, he closed the door behind them.
"We're in private," Harry told her, going so far as to lock the door behind him.
Aphrodite looked ostensibly at the walls, as if pointing out The Overlook's presence.
Harry understood the look and placed one hand on the nearest wall. "Just like any good home, the walls of The Overlook will guard our secrets," he said, remembering Hestia once saying the same thing to Hades when he'd visited Olympus. He hoped that The Overlook would get the point and agree.
He felt the presence possessing the hotel straighten out, as if surprised yet honored by the unexpected trust. At the same time, there was a feeling of determination of living up to that expectation.
Aphrodite blinked in surprise, before looking at the walls, then the ceiling, and finally finishing by looking at Harry. "You continue to grow closer to dear Hestia's domain every time I see you," she said. "I did not think you would be able to bestow blessings in her name."
"I just talked to The Overlook," Harry said, surprised at his grandmother's words.
Aphrodite snorted, a clear indication that she had abandoned her public persona. "Harry, I've been around enough blessings to know one when I see one," she said with a laugh. "You just blessed this room to hold our secrets like a good home. And you did it without even invoking dear Hestia's name." She leaned closer and seemed to stare into his eyes. "You become ever closer to her domain, ever more like her."
She hugged him, enveloping him into the all-encompassing feeling of love. "I can't say so in public, for obvious reasons, but you make me very proud," she whispered at him as she held him.
As always, getting a full-on hug from Aphrodite was a full-on religious experience.
She released him and continued to smile at him. "But I'm not here to embarrass you by pointing out your intimate connections to dear Hestia's domain," she said. "I wanted to talk to you about what you saw just now."
"What do you mean, Gran?" Harry said, gratefully taking the opportunity to change the subject.
"About myself and Ares," she stated, and suddenly Harry wished to go back to the previous conversation. Nobody wanted to discuss the love-life of their grandparents.
Ignoring the look of discomfort on his face, Aphrodite went on. "Of course, I shall curse you severely should this information ever make it out of your mouth," she threatened on a casual tone, as if it were no big deal. "However, I saw your face when you saw me with my… Honey-poo."
Harry snorted at the over-emphasis on the pet name she had 'bestowed' upon the fearsome God of War.
"Yes, it quite annoys him, but he's determined not to say anything. I'm wondering how long it takes for him to crack," Aphrodite said with a small laugh. "Still, I saw you pondering earlier, and I know how easily you share those thoughts of yours with your friends."
Harry looked uncomfortable. "So, in an effort to stop your gossiping, I believed it best to share some of the truth with you, and, at the same time, bind you to silence."
Harry looked pouty.
"So," Aphrodite went on, "the first thing you must understand is that my marriage with Hef is long and loving."
Harry blinked.
Aphrodite grinned. "Everything I do is done with the full knowledge and consent of my loving husband."
"Ehm…" Harry tried, not really knowing what to say.
"Hef," Aphrodite said, "likes to watch."
"He likes to watch," Harry reflected, before his brain realized what Hephaestus liked to watch. He shuddered. "Ew."
"Ah, Harry, there is so much fun to be had between consenting beings," Aphrodite said. "So, yes, Hef likes to watch. And, in a loving marriage, there is not much that can not be done – as long as both partners discuss it openly and agree to it openly. As such, I don't have dalliances unless Hef knows about them."
Harry looked incredibly uncomfortable now. While it made a lot of sense, it also wasn't something he wanted to know. "He's also quite adventurous with those metal strings of his." She smiled widely and shuddered. "There's something about being tied down and helpless that can be quite… invigorating."
Harry edged toward the door. He needed to get out of here. Right now!
"Unfortunately, despite his demeanor, it seems that my Honey-poo isn't as adventurous," Aphrodite said, oblivious to his discomfort and happily continuing to over-share. "If only he'd try it once, I'm sure he'd like it."
That explained the trap at the waterpark, Harry's treacherous mind explained. It made him shudder. He didn't want to know those kinds of details!
Redirect the conversation, Harry, he told himself. Come on, brain. Think.
"But Ares? Really, Gran?" Harry asked, trying to get away from his grandmother's perversions. "I mean, I can understand Grandpa Hermes, he's a cool guy. But Ares?"
Aphrodite blushed like a little girl. "Ah, Harry, you'll understand later that a girl sometimes like something a little… rough."
Harry shuddered again, the topic shifting back to perversions right there and then, apparently.
Come on, redirect the conversation again. Try something else! ANYTHING else!
"Still, I'm glad that you and Mister Hephaestus are still good," Harry said, attempting to stop her from pumping his mind full of unwanted information. "I like him, he's a nice guy."
Aphrodite smiled widely. "I'm glad you still think so," she said. "Not many see my husband as anything other than a source of weapons or equipment."
Harry nodded, far happier to be on normal grounds. "He said he's not much of a teacher, so I haven't been bothering him with any questions I have," he said.
"And last time, he gave you a quest and a temporary boon to answer your own question," Aphrodite said with a wide smile. "It got him in trouble with dear Hestia, but the way you stood up for him gained you not an insignificant amount of points with my husband. And, with me, of course."
Harry looked confused. He hadn't done anything other than ask Hestia not to be mad, that was all.
"What makes my husband happy, makes me, as his wife, happy," Aphrodite said. "And there are not many who would stand up for my hubby, certainly not after a temporary boon caused quite a bit of pain from what I heard."
"That was because I used it to stuff a Chinese book of martial arts into my brain through my eyeballs," Harry said. "That wasn't Mister Hephaestus' fault. And, like I said, I like him."
The Goddess of Love's smile widened and she hugged him again. "And that, Harry, is why both myself and my hubby are in your camp."
Harry wasn't sure what to say, or how to respond. Really, all he'd done was talk to Hestia. Uncomfortable, he hugged her back. "It was nothing," he said.
"It was something to us," Aphrodite replied, unwilling to let him off the hook.
He wasn't sure what she wanted to hear, so he settled eventually for simply saying, "Thank you."
She released him, so obviously he'd hit the magic words. "You're welcome," she said with a smile. "Now, I should head off before my Honey-poo comes looking for me."
Harry snickered again at the nickname. "Good luck?" he offered.
"Honey, I'm the Goddess of Love. I don't need luck," she simpered, back to her air-headed public persona and striding out of the room.
Despite him not having unlocked the door. Harry chuckled and tried to leave himself – only to find the door locked. He laughed harder as he unlocked the door. Time to rejoin his friends and get Mel to take them to the Underworld.
AN: I am not sure where that last scene came from – Aphrodite insisted on having a chat with Harry about her marriage with Hephaestus and it devolved into her traumatizing the poor kid. Honestly, nobody wants to hear details like that about parents or grandparents.