Chapter 12

Buck tensed, not sure if it would be better if Ezra or Kaylee answered the door. Either way, he wanted her to be there. Maybe.

The doorknob moved with a click and Kaylee opened the hotel room door with a relieved smile. "Did you lose your key…?"

A smile that fell in concern, her words trailing off, when she saw Buck, Vin, and JD standing in front of her.

Buck let out a sigh of relief that she had somehow made it through the streets of Reno to Ezra's room. The relief died when he recognized the shirt she was wearing was Ezra's. And that was all she was wearing.

Vin looked down at his boots and JD's ears turned pink.

Kaylee glanced down and tugged at the hem of the shirt. On her smaller frame, it reached halfway to her knees. "I thought you were Ezra," she mumbled, then said something about grabbing some clothes. She left the door open for them to come in while she hurried through to a bedroom and closed that door.

"Look at this place," JD said in awe, gawking at the furniture that was clearly a step—or ten—above what he had seen in the occasional motel room on the rodeo circuit. Fresh flowers in vases rested on tables, a chandelier was overhead.

Buck looked past the furnishings to what was on the couch. Or rather, what wasn't. He didn't see any blankets or pillows spread out. He glanced at Vin, met his eyes. Vin had clearly come to the same conclusion.

The bedroom door opened and Kaylee came out, still in Ezra's shirt, but also in a pair of his flannel pajama pants. It didn't do much to reassure Buck.

"Where's Ezra?" Buck asked.

Kaylee's lips pulled down and she shook her head. "I don't know. I woke up this morning and he wasn't here."

Buck felt a knot form in his stomach. If Ezra had taken advantage of Kaylee, or turned to her for the comfort he knew her kindhearted nature would offer, and then left before she woke up…he made an effort to give Kaylee a reassuring smile.

JD had wandered over to look at the marble fireplace and Vin stepped closer to Kaylee.

"You want a ride back to the rodeo grounds?"

Kaylee looked around the hotel room, as if she expected to find Ezra there. "Yeah," she finally said, her shoulder's droppng. "Let me get my things."

She went back into the bedroom and this time Buck noticed the bed was unmade, blankets rumpled and kicked off on both sides of the bed.

"We're not all going to fit in your truck," Buck commented.

Vin took the keys from his pocket and held them out to Buck. "JD and I can get a cab. Give you a chance to talk to her."

Buck's eyebrows shot up toward his hairline. "Me?" He held up his hands in defense like Vin might throw the keys at him.

"Aw hell, Buck, what am I s'posed to say to her? Ask her if she and Ez…" Vin shook his head. "You got all the experience with women."

Buck glanced toward the door Kaylee had disappeared through and leaned in closer to Vin. "Not about this," he hissed. "I never used a woman in my life. And I sure never went sneaking out before they woke up."

Kaylee came back, dressed in her jeans and shirt from the night before. She ran a hand through her hair, pulling it back into a loose ponytail before looking for her boots and pulling them on.

"Me and JD are gonna go down and check out some slots," Vin said. He tossed his keys to Buck, forcing him to catch them reflexively.

JD perked up at his name. He grinned. "Can we try the blackjack tables?" he asked.

Vin's answer was lost as he and JD left the hotel suite, the heavy door closing behind them.

Buck clapped his hands together. "Alright," he said, his voice too loud and too buoyant. "Ready to go?"

Kaylee grabbed a jacket tossed over the back of a chair and nodded. She was uncharacteristically quiet on the way down to Vin's truck, which only added to Buck's concern. And his frustration with Ezra.

He opened the door for Kaylee and helped her up before going around to his side of the truck.

By the time he had started the truck and pulled out onto the road, he had opened his mouth at least five times to try to start the conversation with Kaylee.

He finally managed, stopped at a traffic light, after looking over at her. She was staring out the window, but Buck got the feeling she wasn't seeing the people on the sidewalks, the buildings, or the scenery rising in the distance.

"Did you and Ezra…?" He coughed. Cleared his throat. "Did he…?"

Kaylee turned to look at him. Her brow wrinkled.

"Last night, did you…?"

Understanding dawned, clearing the lines on her face and she shook her head. "No."

The air left Buck's lungs in a rush. He nodded. Ok, good. Good. He should have known Ezra wouldn't use a woman like that. Not for his own comfort. And especially not when it was Kaylee, who he clearly had feelings for and was trying to protect. But when Ezra got knocked off-kilter by the force of Maude, they all knew that Ezra wasn't himself. He turned into the worst version of himself.

"Ezra didn't even want me to sit down at the poker table with him," Kaylee added.

"What?" Buck asked, not sure what the poker table would have to do with her ending up in Ezra's bed.

Kaylee leaned her head against the window as the light turned green ahead of them. "Last night," she clarified. "He didn't take my money or anything like that."

Buck stared at her. "Your money? I'm not asking about him taking your money. I wanted to make sure he didn't take your…"

Kaylee looked over at him. Behind them, cars started honking and Buck dragged his attention back to the road, moving forward.

"Take what?" Kaylee asked, sounding sincerely confused.

Buck clenched his hands on the steering wheel and cursed Vin silently for dropping this conversation on his lap. But it wasn't like Kaylee had anyone looking out for her. He wondered briefly if they could ask Nettie to have a talk with her about men, but just as quickly shot that idea down. Nettie kept Casey on a tight leash, and he couldn't imagine she'd be too agreeable about letting Casey keep Kaylee as a friend if she thought Kaylee was running around with Ezra. Buck was probably the only one Nettie would rank lower than Ezra as a bad influence on a young woman.

Buck dragged his thoughts back to Kaylee sitting next to him. He was going to have to set some things straight for her.

"Well, you see," he started, feeling his palms start to sweat against the steering wheel. "There are…things…feelin's…men and women can have for each other." He glanced down at the dial on the dash, surprised to see it turned all the way to cool. Vin's truck was roasting hot. He rolled down the window and tried again. "There's birds and there's bees," he said, then realized he didn't know what actual birds and bees had to do with anything. "There's cowboys and cowgirls…" He felt like he was strangling. He angled his head toward the window and gulped in some of the fresh air. "And they like each other. Sometimes a whole lot. And when they feel that way, they stop thinkin' and…" He had no idea where he was going with this.

"Buck," Kaylee blessedly, mercifully, thankfully, interrupted him.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing happened between me and Ezra."

"I'm not talking about gambling."

Kaylee let out a snort. "I figured that out."

Buck leaned back against the seat then, feeling like he had just gone three rounds with Ezra's meanest bull.

"I wanted to," Kaylee said quietly, hesitating as she glanced at Buck like weighing his response.

Buck wanted to snap right back and tell her to stop wanting to, but he held his tongue. The girl didn't have any friends outside of the group of them and Casey. And Casey would be about as helpful as JD. Which was about as helpful as a couple of preteens.

"But you didn't," Buck clarified.

"Ezra didn't…He wouldn't," she said. She blinked like she was fighting back tears.

Vin was going to owe him big for this.

"He didn't want to?" Buck asked gingerly, not wanting to make those tears spill. He couldn't imagine Ezra not wanting Kaylee, not with the way he looked at her, not the way she made him smile.

Kaylee swallowed hard. "He wanted to," she said. "But he wouldn't. He said he didn't want to take advantage of me."

Buck felt his lips curve. Ezra Standish wouldn't let anyone know he had a conscience, even made his own friends doubt its presence once in awhile, but Buck shouldn't have questioned his commitment to treating Kaylee right.

"He slept on the couch," Kaylee said. "But he was gone when I woke up. He had the blanket and pillow put away like he had never even been there," her voice cracked.

Buck pulled Vin's truck into the rodeo grounds before he heard a sniffle.

He put the truck in park and turned in his seat to see Kaylee swiping at her eyes.

"Aw, don't cry," he pleaded. Kaylee sniffled again.

Buck scooted across the cracked vinyl seat. "Ok, you're…hurt? Your feelings are hurt?"

Through her tears, she gave him a look like he was an idiot. And he was an idiot. An idiot for letting Vin rope him into trying to talk to Kaylee. He didn't have a lot of experience with crying women. He didn't make women cry.

"Thanks for the ride," Kaylee said, opening her door and sliding out of the old truck.

Buck quickly hopped down from his side and tried again, coming alongside her. "I'm sorry," he said. And he was. For making her cry, for Ezra, for not being able to fix it for her.

Kaylee scrubbed a hand across her eyes. "It's not your fault," she said. She even tried for a wavery smile, but couldn't quite manage it. "If you had seen the way Ezra looked…" She started crying again.

"Aw, darlin'," Buck said, folding her into a hug.

"I just wanted to do something for him. Make him feel better," she said, her words muffled against the front of his shirt.

"Yeah," he said, patting her shoulder. Her tears slowed and she stepped back, looking up at him with red eyes.

"I should have tried harder."

Buck nearly choked. "Tried harder?" To seduce Ezra? Heaven help him, if he survived this conversation with Kaylee, he was going to make sure Vin paid. Big.

"To help him," she said, innocence and compassion in the tears on her cheeks.

Buck tapped his hands together, trying to find the words he should say. His chest ached as he looked down at Kaylee and he imagined this is how it would have been if he had a little sister. He said a silent prayer of thanks he never had a little sister. "It's real noble of you to want to help Ezra," he said cautiously. "But…" how did he tell her she shouldn't be throwing away that innocence in a misguided attempt to save Ezra from himself.

"What's going on?" Chris' voice was dark with concern as he approached them.

Buck looked up to see Chris and Josiah approaching. He let out a big sigh of relief. Josiah was practically the Dalai Lama with all his wisdom. "Just a little cry to get out some big feelin's," he said. He saw Kaylee take a shuddery breath and turn to face Chris and Josiah.

"About Ezra?" Chris asked.

At his name, the tears welled up again and Buck fought the urge to give Chris a shake.

Josiah's deep voice was mellow. "Hard seeing someone you care about hurting like Ezra is," he said, his voice low with compassion.

Kaylee looked up at Josiah, clearly relieved that someone understood. Buck mentally kicked himself for not figuring out the real source of her tears, at the same time he said a silent thank you for Josiah's insight.

"You went looking for Ezra?" Chris asked, glancing at Buck.

Kaylee nodded and Buck was worried the tears would start flowing again, but Kaylee pressed her lips together and nodded.

"He's so…broken," Kaylee said, her own voice a broken whisper.

Josiah nodded. "Most people are a little broken," he said. "Thing about Ezra is, he hides it so well, it will knock you off kilter when you finally see it."

Kaylee looked like she was hanging on every word Josiah said, the storm of emotion clearing, leaving behind just a desperation to help Ezra.

"Come on, there's a café just down the street a piece. Pancakes and coffee will make everything better," Josiah said.

Kaylee fell in step beside Josiah. As they walked away, Buck could hear Josiah's rumbling voice. "We've all been through this with Ezra a few times through the years. It's not easy…"

Chris huffed out a sigh. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Buck motioned toward where Kaylee was walking away with Josiah, toward Vin's truck, and in the direction of downtown Reno. "She went lookin' for Ezra. She found him."

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