Chapter 2: Trial Under Fire

It's amazing, really, how brave even the meekest of people can be. Even with everything that can keep them where they are, environment, anxieties, a desire for peace, when the moment comes and they are torn from their place by the unflinching hand of change, they can rise to the challenge.

But they can also be crushed by it if they're not careful. And Shinji needed to be very careful…

- Where I've Been, 4th Entry

Unit-01 Bay, NERV-HQ, Geofront

Misato looked at Commander Ikari with wide, incredulous eyes. "Sir? Unit-01's only just gotten back into fighting shape from first contact with the Angel, and we have no backup in case something fails."

Ritsuko's expression was impassive, like someone had carved the calmness on her face in with a chisel. "We have no other choice against a threat like this. As you said, Unit-00 is in no state to act as a second option. We have to work with what we have."

Misato turned her gaze to Ritsuko. "And you're going to put Shinji," she said hotly, "who just got here, in command of one of the most advanced pieces of machinery in the world? It took Rei Ayanami seven months before she could even synch up with Unit-01. And you're going to ask him to do that without any time at all?"

As the two women argued, Shinji simply looked at Unit-01 in numb shock. Was that it? Was that really all that he was here for? To just hop into a giant robot and try to channel some Amuro Ray-like competence?

He realized after a moment that the women, along with all those still in the bay, were looking at him expectantly. He focused on Misato and Ritsuko. "Why am I being asked to pilot this thing? I'm just a teenager. I don't even have my learner's permit."

"As I've said," Ritsuko replied calmly, "you were chosen by the Marduk Institute because of the unique capabilities you have."

"What capabilities?" Shinji said, anger beginning to flicker in his chest, a now foreign feeling after so long. "Honestly, I kind of agree with Ms. Misato. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"If he doesn't want to do it," Misato said, "what right do we have to try and force him to do something that could kill him?"

"All I ask is that he sits in the cockpit."

"And what? He shouldn't."

Ritsuko was implacable. "Our first priority is to maintain the stability of the world as we try to remake it. We must neutralize this threat with any means available to us. That means we take anyone even remotely capable of synchronizing with the Eva. You're a soldier, Misato. I was under the impression that meant you'd understand that sort of sacrifice."

Misato seemed to deflate at that, the flame in her eyes flickering out as she became contemplative. "You're not wrong," she said quietly.

"And what if I still refuse?" Shinji said, turning everyone's attention back to him. He hated having so many strangers looking at him and listening intently, but he forged on regardless. "What if I acknowledge that no pilot for this monstrosity might be better than one that wrecks it?"

"We have no time for this argument, Shinji," Gendo said, cutting off Ritsuko's reply with a voice that seemed to come from a god. "There is no more room for choice in this matter. You will get into Unit-01 and fight the Angel. They will explain how to pilot an Eva to you."

"Commander," Misato said, desperation in her voice and expression as she looked up at Gendo, "until we can properly train him, I can't in good-"

"Captain."

The single word that Gendo uttered made all else Misato might have said die on her lips as she looked back at Ritsuko, naked desperation in her expression.

Shinji looked up at his father, the flame inside of him growing almost out of control after having been pent up for so long, even as tears began to well up in his eyes. "Is this it? Is this really everything you expect of me after all this time? Is this all you need your only son for?"

"Stop wasting everyone's time, Shinji. Either take your place in the Eva or get out."

"Why should I?" Shinji asked, almost shouting, looking around the room. "No one's answered that question yet. Father, please! There's too much risk in me trying this! Too many lives are at stake, and I could end all of them by accident!"

It was silent again, and Shinji wondered what was going on behind those orange shades of his. He didn't wonder for long as Gendo spoke in a cool, hard voice. "I see. Then we will use the First Child, and you will be returned to where you came from."

Was that it? All this way… for nothing? Shinji's knees threatened to buckle as time seemed to stretch on under everyone's gaze. It wasn't fair. How could any father do this? Expect all this from a child?

His thoughts were interrupted for a moment as the room shook, a muffled boom overhead followed by another shaking the room still more. It had seemed the Angel had found them.

But Shinji only looked up into that room, his father still staring at him as he waited for… something. The words of Misato, Ritsuko, and the technicians around him were muffled, garbled things as he desperately tried to process what he was feeling.

His train of thought, seemingly barreling from one end of his brain to another, was interrupted by the opening of a door to his left. He looked over to see what appeared to be a medical team wheeling a gurney and drip rack out towards him. Laying on the gurney, wrapped in bandages on almost every limb and wearing a strange skintight bodysuit, was a person that Shinji found himself alarmed at how familiar she was.

It was the blue-haired girl from back on the street. She must have been Rei Ayanami. Shinji was shocked, then his anger returned anew as he watched her regard him for a moment with a red eye, uncovered by bandages, and try to struggle off of the gurney as the medical team simply… left, Rei wincing in obvious pain. 'Did she pilot this against that Angel?' he thought. 'Would my father really stoop this low?'

He didn't get much time to ponder as another impact sent the gurney tumbling to its side, Ayanami rolling off with a stifled cry. His legs moved almost without him willing them to as he caught her from nearly going over into the vast pool they stood above. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Then, he felt something warm on his hand. Lifting it away, he saw blood, his eyes going wide. "Why…"

He could go no farther as another impact, the strongest one yet, shook the room, sending people stumbling and the hanging lights above swaying. Shinji heard the snap and crack as the room darkened, heard Misato shout his name. But, as he found himself certain the lights above him were coming down on his head, he stood, trying to get Ayanami out of the way as best he could while doing his best to, once again, accept his seemingly inevitable demise.

Then, the clattering of the lights hitting something above him, the place where he kneeled being thrown into shade as the liquid around them splashed, made Shinji look to his right, out to the far wall of the bay. Or, at least, he would have seen it if the arm and hand of the Evangelion weren't covering him, a shield from the falling lights.

The room went silent for a moment, then a maelstrom of voices brought chaos back into the bay.

"The Eva moved!" one technician shouted.

"Impossible!" Ritsuko said, looking up at the hand with no small amount of shock. "The restraints should have held it!"

Shinji barely heard them, barely saw the one woman, a technician from the looks of it, regarding him intently. He simply walked over to Ayanami, who lay a little ways away from where he'd stopped, and kneeled again, getting her into a kneeling position. "I'm sorry about that. Are you… okay?"

Ayanami was silent, simply staring at him almost sightlessly with a red eye. 'What happened to you? Is that natural? Are you more hurt than I can see?'

His mind began to spiral as answers eluded him, his heart beginning to pound as anxiety began to overtake him. 'I can't run away anymore. I mustn't! But what do I do? What do I do?'

Shinji looked up at that room that his father still stood in, saw the man with a passive look on his face, as if studying the scene below him in a science experiment.

Father. It was so ill-fitting at the moment, much as he wanted it not to be so. Another man's encouragement took its place instead. "I believe in you. I trust in your abilities."

"Good luck, Shinji."

"Alright!" Shinji shouted the word, the conversations around him faltering and falling silent. "I'll do it! I'll pilot the Eva."

. . .

It only felt like Shinji had blinked, but now he was walking down a hall with Ritsuko.

"Now, you'll have two joysticks," she was saying as Shinji emerged from his daze, "each with two triggers for index and middle fingers, a thumb button and thumb switch on the insides of the yokes, and a thumb button on the back. Those will be for various weapons and equipment that will be digitally linked to your station. The seat will adjust to your size when you take a seat, and cushion you from any impacts in conjunction with the LCL."

She paused, and Shinji paused in turn, following Ritsuko's gaze to a door that opened up to a set of stairs, a woman in coveralls coming down towards them. "This is where you'll go to enter the Evangelion's Entry Plug," Ritsuko said. "And where we part ways. I'll direct you further from the bridge."

With that, Ritsuko walked away, and Shinji turned to face the woman who now stood in the doorway. She was rather tall, about 180 centimeters maybe, likely American or European, with strawberry-blonde hair and bright green eyes, almost like emeralds, that sat atop a dusting of freckles on her rather sharp cheeks and straight nose.

She smiled easily at him. "Hello, Shinji," she said in an accentless Japanese that felt somewhat familiar to the boy. "I'm going to take you through a few final pointers before you jump into the Eva."

Shinji nodded, stepping through the door and beginning to head for the stairs. The woman, however, held out a hand. "Hold on a minute, kiddo. Hold still for just a second."

As Shinji did as he was told, the woman stepped in front of him, and he felt what must have been hair clips being put near the top of his head. After a moment, the woman stepped back, grabbing a tablet she had on a sling and tapping on it. "Get ready," she said. "This is going to feel weird for a second."

Shinji frowned, then squirmed and tensed as what felt like two daggers of ice sank into his head from the clips. "What the…"

The woman grimaced in sympathy as the feeling faded. "It's not a fun feeling. But it is important. Come on, follow me."

Shinji nodded slowly as she began to climb the stairs, following after her. "What… was that?"

"Those are A10 nerve connectors." The woman said, glancing back at Shinji. "Part of piloting the Evangelion is a neural interface between pilot and Eva. I wish we could get you a proper Plugsuit to make it really work, but there just isn't time."

"A neural interface?"

"Yeah. The biggest thing you'll need to worry about is getting used to moving something that's over 16 times your height. The LCL's going to help with that, but you're going to be immersed in it. Don't worry, it's a perfluorocarbonate, so you'll be able to breathe in it."

"Oh," Shinji said as they reached a doorway, stepping through it to come to a stop in front of what must have been the Entry Plug, a white cylinder that had a section of its top opened up, showing the strange, blade-like cockpit he would be sitting in. "That's good to know, I guess. Thank you, Ms.…"

"Flynn." the woman said with a wide smile. "First Lieutenant, second-in-command of the Engineering Branch. Happy to help."

She helped Shinji into the seat, the boy fitting himself in after a moment. He took a deep breath as Lieutenant Flynn stepped back.

"Good luck, Shinji," she said with a confident smile before the Plug was sealed, throwing him into darkness. He hoped that being plunged into darkness would not become a particular theme of his stay.

'Good luck, Shinji.'

Two people had said that to him in almost as many days. He wondered for a moment if that meant something.

"Initiating Level 1 contact." that same voice that had announced battle stations said, shaking him from his thoughts as the Plug began to move forward, then stopped with a whir. It was still for a moment before a white light, a torus that circled the tube, flashed past him, seemingly trailing a rainbow that lit up the inside of the Plug and allowed him to see the controls that Ritsuko had described.

"Flooding Entry Plug."

Shinji took a deep breath as he saw the orange liquid that had filled the bay of Unit-01 flooding in, taking as deep of a breath as he could manage while fighting his instinct to hold his breath as it came up to his chest, then his neck. As he breathed it in, he found most surprising of all how warm and largely tasteless it was going down, though there was some accent to it that he couldn't identify at the moment.

"Good job, Shinji." Ritsuko's voice echoed calmly in the Plug's comms system, a screen popping up that showed what looked like a vast room, Misato and Ritsuko standing on a platform with three other people, two men and a woman. "I'm sure it feels strange at the moment, but you'll get used to it."

"It does feel… strange," Shinji said somewhat absentmindedly as he looked around the Plug.

"Focus, Shinji," Misato said firmly to him, dragging his gaze back to the screen. "This next part is important."

Shinji nodded, and the woman that Ritsuko stood behind looked back at her monitor. "Initiating Level 2 contact."

The hazy, underwater view of the Plug snapped into clarity as Shinji felt his stomach dropping, a feeling of weightlessness disorienting him for a moment as he felt his perception… expand, his body feeling like it was starting to fuzz out of existence before Shinji regained his focus, his limbs seeming to come back into some slight definition as a flurry of callouts washed across the comms.

"A10 connection established. Neural handshake complete. LCL ionization levels nominal. Haptic feedback at acceptable intensity."

All those and more flew through Shinji's mind as the tube around him disappeared, a view of the gantry around him appearing as the liquid around him began to drain. The strangest part was that he could feel it, somewhat distantly.

"All statuses on initial contact are green. Network established. Synchronization holding steady at 45.2 percent." the woman said.

"Not bad for your first time in an Eva, Shinji," Misato said with a slight smile.

Ritsuko leaned over the monitor of the woman, her eyes wide in wonderment. "Not bad? This blows past all my initial expectations." she paused for a moment as she looked over at Misato. "This is going to work," she said with utter surety.

45 still felt like a low number to be going into battle to Shinji regardless as he watched Misato look past him. "Unit-01, prepare to launch!"

The callouts and commands reached a fever pitch as the gantry slowly began to unravel around Shinji, who tried his best to feel out what Unit-01 was like. It felt… lanky, but muscular, covered in armored plates like an athlete trying to look like a knight. Tall pylons crept at the edges of his peripheral vision, framing what he remembered to be a sleek, aerodynamic helmet with an anachronistic, singular horn jutting out of the forehead like a unicorn. It seemed fitting for what it capped, something like a giant out of the legends that Shinji had learned briefly about in social studies, forged of flesh and steel and given a singular purpose.

The woman called out over the others that he heard. "Transport Unit-01 to Launch Bay 02."

With a whirring roar, the sight in front of Shinji receded as he fought the unease building up inside him. 'Launch Bay? Am I being strapped to a rocket?'

His thoughts were interrupted by the clunk of him being secured into whatever point he was supposed to be at, the steadily quieting thunk of what was likely doors opening above him leaving him no less cognizant of what was said next. "Unit-01 is in place and launch tube is clear. All boards are green, and we are ready to go."

Misato looked back up at what was likely a main screen for a moment before turning. "Permission to launch the Eva, sir."

"Of course, Captain," Gendo replied. "Permission granted. Everything rests on defeating the Angels."

Beyond the boy's hearing, Deputy-Commander Fuyutsuki, Gendo's second-in-command, a tall fellow with silver hair and a weathered face, looked over at the man he stood beside. "Sir," he asked quietly, "are you sure about this?"

Gendo offered no reply, simply looking first at the Angel, then at Shinji Ikari. And under the tent of his hands, unseen to all others, a slight smile crept across his face. All was, with what deviations there had been, going as intended.

Below them, Captain Katsuragi turned, and with the voice of a valkyrie, gave her command. "Launch the Eva!"

. . .

With an electric crack that buzzed through Shinji's brain, the Eva was released, shooting up into the tunnel above. Shinji did his best to weather the g-forces pushing down on him, a grim image of Unit-01's hand pressing down on him seeming apt for the occasion.

Finally, though, he emerged from the brightly lit tunnels into the night, buildings on either side of the massive street he appeared on framing the Angel before him. Now, in a giant of his own, it seemed almost of comparable height, though it now sported two masks side by side in an almost jumbled manner above the red gem, seemingly glowing with an ominous light.

The final restraints were released, and Unit-01 slumped forward slightly, Shinji's mind straining for a moment to keep it from falling forward. "Alright," Misato said from the commlink, "moment of truth. Are you ready, Shinji?"

Shinji took a deep breath as he fixed his gaze on the still motionless Angel. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Alright, Shinji," Ritsuko, with a calmness that Shinji had begun to appreciate, said. "Simply try and walk forward. Don't worry about the controls in front of you. Just focus your mind."

'Simple enough, I suppose.' Shinji mused as he focused, the fuzziness of what felt his body beginning to dim as he felt the Evangelion lift its right leg, then bring it down again with a muted boom. Then he took another step. Then another.

"Strange," Ritsuko said as the Angel remained motionless. "It must somehow realize that something's changed. Be careful."

Shinji nodded, his steps forward becoming more and more sure before the Angel reacted, crouching like a predator ready to pounce.

Shinji paused in turn, regarding the Angel carefully. 'How do I beat this thing?'

A memory, almost unbidden, sprung to mind as Shinji did his best to remain focused.

He'd been studying early in the morning, getting ready for a recital, when he heard something outside his open door. Getting up, he walked over to the balcony of their rather spare apartment to see Daniel sparring with a punching bag that he'd seen before but not paid much attention to.

Daniel looked to be deep in thought as he worked through a series of punches and kicks, elbow and knee strikes, looking almost… angry. The strikes intensified, and Shinji could swear his brow was starting to… glow…

Then, Daniel noticed him, looking over at him without any glow whatsoever evident on him beyond that of the sheen of sweat. "Oh. Hey, Shinji. Did I interrupt you practicing?"

Shinji shook his head slightly. "Not really. I guess I was just wondering what you do in the mornings."

Daniel smiled slightly as he grabbed a towel, wiping his brow. "Well, now you know. And now you can get back to practicing the solo for Dvořák's Cello Concerto. That's a challenging piece, but you're actually getting really good at it, I can tell."

He paused for a moment as Shinji blushed slightly from the praise, looking at him before nodding slightly. "Actually, you still look pretty tired. Wanna come and throw a few punches at the bag to wake up?"

Shinji blinked blearily. "How does that help?"

Daniel smiled. "Well, it's exercise. Gets the blood pumping, the mind sharp. Even something like this can help you with your playing, strengthening your muscles and increasing your control over them."

Shinji leered at the bag for a moment, then shrugged. It was, at least, something to do in order to wake up, he thought as he stepped up in front of the bag. "Okay. So what should I do?"

"First things first," Daniel said patiently, putting wrapped hands on Shinji's right hand, "make a fist like this, thumb on the outside. Hate to have you hurt yourself too badly."

"Then," Daniel continued, "put all your annoyance, at me right now, at the cello piece, at life in general, right here." he smacked the bag at Shinji's chest height. "Then throw the strongest punch you can at it."

Shinji looked at the point where Daniel had directed him, his somewhat tired mind trying to do as Daniel said before throwing a punch, the impact with the bag stinging his hand.

"Ow." Shinji winced as he shook his hand.

"It's a hard bag." Daniel chuckled softly. "But you're a little more awake than you were before, aren't you?"

Shinji frowned slightly, then he nodded. "Yeah."

"And you probably aren't as annoyed as you could be."

Shinji shrugged. "I mean, I guess."

Daniel sat on one of the chairs that they had outside, leaning to look at Shinji face to face with a serious expression. "The body, the mind, and the soul are all interconnected. What affects one affects all to some extent or another, and it's in keeping each in good condition that we stay at our healthiest. The body through exercise, the mind through learning, and the soul by doing what we enjoy."

Shinji nodded after a moment. "That makes sense, I guess."

Daniel smiled. "Good. So, want to throw another punch?"

He did, then. It was not the last he'd seen of that bag, either, after Daniel had started teaching him. He might not have been as good as Daniel was, but he was stronger than he looked. And he knew a lot more than most expected. Which, As the Angel began to advance on him, he found himself profoundly grateful for.

As the Angel advanced, its arm drawing back for a strike, Shinji reacted first, stepping into the Angel's reach and planting a series of hits on its masks and body. They didn't seem to do much, and Shinji felt like his punches were being thrown just a second after he thought about them. It was a little maddening.

And, it seemed, it made all the difference as the Angel finally caught him with a slap across Unit-01's head with its arm. The pain flashed through Shinji's head as he went to the ground, the massive plug on the Eva's back making things ungainly.

Shinji shook his head as he tried to regain his focus. He should have felt dazed, and almost did. But he still had some cognizance of his surroundings, his eyes going wide as he saw the spike on the Angel's arm heating up, the arm aimed squarely at his chest.

Shinji shouted as he dodged the spike by the barest of margins, feeling the heat across his back as the spike slammed into the ground. He threw a desperate kick in response, the Angel simply stepping over it as it reached out and grabbed Unit-01's face.

Shinji struggled as it lifted him from the ground, throwing a hook that the Angel caught with its free hand, squeezing until Shinji could hear a series of massive cracks. His own arm felt like it was being torn apart, waves of pain rippling through his body and mind as he heard both Ritsuko and Misato shouting at him on the edge of his perception.

Then, he saw the hole in the center of the monster's palm glowing for a moment before the spike slammed into the mask of Unit-01. Then again. Then again. Each blow sent ripples of pain through his skull, his head pounding with the headache the Unit he piloted must have been feeling as well.

Then, with all the effort he could muster, Shinji grabbed the Angel's arm, Unit-01's massive hand squeezing it as hard as he could. The Angel, seemingly surprised, relaxed its death grip on him, allowing Shinji to pull Unit-01's other arm free and use it to bludgeon the arm that held him up.

Again, Shinji tumbled to the ground, his eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he tried to grapple with the immense pain that pulsed like a heartbeat.

Even still, he heard Misato's next words clearly. "Amazing, Shinji! Quickly, get to your feet!"

He struggled onto hands and knees before the Angel, screeching in what could have been pain or anger, kicked Unit-01 squarely in the ribs, sending it flying into a building at the end of a t-junction, the impact nearly collapsing the building on top of him.

Shinji mustered what willpower he could, making Unit-01 stand and stumble out of the way as the Angel's eyes flashed, the street behind him disappearing in a stream of baleful pink light.

Unit-01 teetered and stumbled up the street like a drunkard, Shinji trying to get the Eva upright and going at a decent pace as he fought the pain pounding through his body. Misato's words cut through the haze around his mind, loud and clear. "Shinji! There's a building up ahead of you where you can grab a weapon. Just turn the corner of the next street!"

Shinji did his best to follow Misato's instructions, and he thought for a moment that he could see the building in question opening up. Then, the world began to glow pink again, casting long shadows all around Shinji.

Shinji turned the corner, glancing back at the Angel as it floated toward him. The building, and the massive rifle within it, was right there…

But with a crash, the Angel landed in front of him as he charged into it at a headlong rush, barring his way as it stopped him entirely. Before Shinji could even try and slip past it, the Angel gripped him with both hands, one set of claws where it had been on Unit-01's face, and another near his left shoulder.

Shinji saw the light, pink having ascended in brightness to an almost blinding white, as the spikes fired, spearing Unit-01 through the head and shoulder and sending it flying back into what must have been a building before the spikes retracted.

The screens went dark, and he lost all feeling for Unit-01, but Shinji could only feel the intense, seemingly all-consuming pain that had been inflicted on him, the world around him seeming to go red. How was he not dead yet?

Then, he heard a growl, felt something else begin to take control. That suited Shinji just fine for the moment.