Chapter 19
Kaylee could hear the mumble of voices. She wasn't sure if they were real, or just part of the pounding in her head. The door opened with a click that was loud enough to reverberate through her skull and had her pulling the pillow tighter over her head. Even that little bit of movement started her stomach churning.
"Kaylee? You awake, darlin'?"
Buck's voice blasted through the room. Kaylee buried her face in the mattress, squeezing shut her eyes against any threat of light.
"Mrmfmn gffingmr dmmrmd," she answered, her pillow muffling her voice even to her own ears.
The pillow shifted, the edge of it lifting and she squinted her eyes open. Buck's smiling face filled her vision.
"Mornin' Sunshine," he grinned.
Kaylee tried to pull the pillow back down, but Buck pulled the entire pillow out of her grasp and tossed it somewhere behind him.
He held up a bag that smelled like a greasy burger and fries and Kaylee's stomach turned over again, threatening to rebel.
"I'm going to be sick," she said.
"Probably," Buck said with little concern, setting the bag on the chipped nightstand and helping her get free from the blanket tangled around her legs. "But then you'll be ready for my guaranteed miracle cure."
The smell of the food was too much and Kaylee stumbled toward the bathroom, Buck swinging the door open for her before closing it for her.
Alone in the bathroom, Kaylee dropped down to her knees and lost whatever was still in her stomach from the night before. She could still hear the low hum of voices beyond the door, so figured that wasn't just in her head. Her stomach rebelled again and she leaned over the toilet, a stray thought passing that she was thankful she had scrubbed out the bathroom the day before.
Finally thinking there was nothing more she could possibly lose from her stomach, Kaylee leaned back from the commode, resting her back against the side of the tub. The entire bathroom spun and she closed her eyes.
There was a light knock on the door and Kaylee groaned in response.
She heard the door open and the faucet turn on briefly, then a cool rag on her forehead. She peaked through one eye and saw Vin crouched down next to her, holding the rag to her forehead.
She lifted a hand to take the rag from him.
"Rough night," he commented without censure.
Kaylee turned her mind around trying to remember anything.
"You don't remember?" he asked.
She shook her head, then stopped when that set the small room to spinning again.
"You want to try moving?" he asked.
Kaylee gave him another groan in response that elicited a small smile from the cowboy.
Vin put an arm around her and helped her up. Kaylee's legs felt as weak and shaky as a newborn foal and she didn't try to shake off the help.
The light in the main room of the camper was blinding. She managed to drop onto the bench seat at the dinette table with Vin's help and tried to open her eyes. She saw Buck, Vin, JD, and Chris before she dropped her head on the table with a thud that echoed in her pounding head.
She heard Buck's chuckle and turned her head enough to aim a glare in his direction.
Her back itched, something irritating her lower back and she reached a hand around to scratch at the annoying spot, but Vin grabbed her hand and stopped her.
"Don't think you're s'posed to be scratchin'," he said.
Her hand brushed against a bandage and she grunted her question at him.
"You don't remember anything?" JD asked.
"You got a tattoo," Buck offered.
"I…" Kaylee closed her eyes again. It was too much to figure out.
A paper bag crinkled as Buck slid it towards her. "I promise it helps."
Kaylee forced herself upright and took the grease stained bag, pulling out a paper wrapped burger.
There was a knock at the door and it opened without waiting for an answer. Josiah came in with Ezra behind him. Ezra eyed Kaylee, looking her over and Kaylee imagined what he saw wasn't reassuring if how she felt was any indication. But, for some reason whatever he saw made his face relax almost imperceptibly, the brown flecks in his eyes lightening and giving way to more green.
Josiah took a seat on one of the threadbare armchairs and looked at the bag in front of Kaylee.
"Buck's miracle cure," he commented. "Sure to cure what ails you." He leaned back in his chair comfortably. "Nathan would prescribe that exact cure. He's dealing with a bronc buster who knocked his head last night, but said to tell you come see him if you're feeling banged up after…everything."
Ezra didn't sit, instead keeping his distance, leaning against the kitchen counter. "You're in one piece," was his comment.
Feeling slightly revived, Kaylee tried to recall the night before again. She remembered a bar, then being outside. But she couldn't get any fresh air, something—someone—was pushed up against her, cutting off her breath. She looked at Ezra, saw her remembered fear reflected as simmering anger in his eyes.
"Gage?" she asked. She fingered the collar of her t-shirt, pulling at it slightly as she remembered his hand around her throat.
Ezra's eyes darkened and his jaw tightened, but he didn't say anything.
Kaylee looked at JD. "And you got him away from me?"
JD nodded. His eyes were earnest. "I wasn't going to let him hurt you."
Kaylee managed a wobbly smile. "Thanks." She glanced at Vin, pieces of the night coming back to her. Vin and Ezra getting her out of a different bar, Vin getting her home. Buck helping her inside.
"Is Gage…?" she didn't know what to ask. She shifted uncomfortably, thoughts of Gage at the next rodeo, finding her if she didn't have JD at her side the next time.
"He won't be bothering you again," Ezra said shortly.
Kaylee looked at him, his unreadable face, the anger in his eyes. Then she looked at JD and saw the black and blue marks on his face, the cut splitting his bottom lip.
"You fought him?" Kaylee asked JD.
JD gave her self-conscious smile even as his shoulders squared slightly. "You can't treat a lady like that."
"And Ezra—" Josiah started, but Ezra neatly cut him off.
"Thanks to Mr. Dunne, you won't need to worry about Gage Fulton," Ezra said, a small smile for JD.
Kaylee saw Chris' sharp look at Ezra and noticed Vin studying him, but neither said anything.
Buck ruffled JD's hair, "Nice work, kid." But he was shooting a look at Ezra, too.
Kaylee pushed the rest of the hamburger away, unable to stomach another bite, though at least the camper wasn't spinning and her head wasn't pounding anymore.
"I'm going to get packed up," Chris said, sliding off the seat. He stood, looking down at Kaylee. Kaylee could see he wanted to say something, but instead he just nodded at her. "Glad you're safe." With one more look for Ezra that she couldn't interpret, he left.
Vin and Josiah stood, agreeing with Chris' plan.
Buck glanced at Ezra, then nudged JD. "Come on, kid. I'll buy the local hero breakfast."
And then just she and Ezra were left.
She looked at him. "I don't remember everything that happened last night," she started.
"That's probably for the best," he said. "Though I think Buck can fill you in on the details. I don't think he'll be forgetting it any time soon."
She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking. "You were there, though, right?"
Ezra moved for the first time. He stopped next to where she was sitting. With a light touch, he lifted the sleeve of her t-shirt. His fingers running over the bruises on her arm made her breath catch in her throat.
His face was soft with concern. As he looked at the marks Gage had left, his jaw worked.
Kaylee abruptly slid her way off the bench seat, surprising Ezra as she shoved past him. "I realized something last night. I remember that much," she declared, folding her arms in front of herself, a futile barrier against the emotions Ezra stirred.
Ezra stood completely still and Kaylee got the feeling he was waiting for her to tell him she didn't want him, and that he was just as untrustworthy as everyone said.
"You're not as bad as everyone says you are," she said, the look on his face momentarily distracting her from what she needed to say.
Ezra gave a small laugh. "High praise indeed."
"No, that's not—" Kaylee frowned. She wished she could be as good at words as Ezra was. And that was half the problem she had realized last night. "Ezra, you're really something special." She took a step back. "And that's why you need to get out of here."
He didn't make a move to leave. "I'm afraid I don't understand your logic."
"Oh come on, Ezra!" Kaylee exploded, flinging her hands into the air. "You're—you're smart and you're successful and you have all these friends and," she caught herself. She could go on and on listing all of Ezra's good qualities.
"And that's a reason to stay away from me?" he asked.
"Yes!" Kaylee grit her teeth, wishing she didn't have to spell it out for him. "You were right when you said keeping away from me was what's best."
Ezra's unreadable face finally moved and he shook his head, taking a step toward Kaylee. "That's not I said. I meant you should steer clear of me. But, for reasons I can't fathom, that hasn't seemed to spare you any pain."
"Well you were right, you just had it backwards," Kaylee said, jerking back again. "You should steer clear of me. I can't get my act together. I didn't even graduate high school! Did you know that?" she asked, the pressure of tears and shame and regrets all building into a deep, sharp ache in her throat.
"That doesn't—"
"And I just keep making mistakes. Big mistakes! JD looks like he was beat up and it's all because I'm too stupid to steer clear of people like Gage Fulton."
"That's not your fault," Ezra said sharply.
His tone halted the tirade of flaws Kaylee was throwing out at him. She closed her eyes, wanting to believe what he said.
"I don't know what has caused you to believe that you somehow have to earn the love and admiration of…" Ezra paused. "Of all of us. But you don't have to work for our affections. I do believe Mr. Wilmington is going to buy Mr. Dunne a pair of golden boxing gloves for defending your honor. And Mr. Tanner has never seemed so at ease with anyone. He's certainly never wanted anyone to share the ride between towns with him. I heard you spoke harsh words with Mr. Larabee and he has all but forgiven and forgotten. Let me assure you that is unheard of. He's not known for his forgiving nature."
He had closed the gap between them. He was close enough she only had to lean in and rest against him, take what he was offering. What she had been so insistent on proving to him that he deserved.
But then her phone rang in the other room. And she knew who it was. She brought fisted hands up to her face and let out a sound of frustration. Ezra reached for her and she pulled away before she did something stupid like drag him into her problems.
"I was stupid and impulsive thinking I had anything to offer someone like you," she said.
"No," Ezra insisted, not letting her get too far.
"You don't know anything!" she yelled.
"What don't I know?" he demanded. "Tell me!" When she didn't answer, he tried to steady his voice. "Kaylee," he said, getting a hand on her arm.
Kaylee's near hysterical laugh escaped with a sob. He didn't even know her real name. And he couldn't or he would know everything and be involved in the mess she was in. And anyone who threw themselves in with her would be facing the same threat she was. She had let herself think she could escape the past. But seeing the bruises on JD's face had been a ice cold bucket of reality in the face. Maybe they hadn't come from Cletus in Nebraska, but they had reminded her what he had threatened. What he was capable of.
"Get away from me!" she shoved past him. Ezra tried to stop her, tried to tell her she was making a mistake.
Kaylee broke free of his light hold and stormed out of Buck's camper as if she was being chased. And she was. By her entire life in Nebraska and her biggest mistake of all, letting down her guard and thinking she could be with Ezra.
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Ezra chased after Kaylee, not certain what had caused the complete and total change in her. She no longer wanted him
That, he could maybe come to terms with. He was sure he would never get over it, but he could eventually understand it. But the way she flung out all the reasons she didn't deserve him, that he would never be able to reconcile. He needed her to know she was the best person he had ever met. He didn't care about a high school diploma, of all things. Did she think this was some sort of job interview with minimum qualifications to be with him?
Buck, Vin, and JD were all standing outside the camper when Ezra burst out behind Kaylee. He assumed they had heard everything.
Kaylee was storming across the rodeo grounds, anyone in her path giving her wide berth.
An iron hand clamped on Ezra's arm, stopping his pursuit.
Vin looked over at Ezra.
"Did you hear what she said?" Ezra asked.
Vin nodded slightly.
"Well someone needs to disabuse her of these ridiculous—outlandish—false lies." Ezra tried to pull his arm away and Vin tightened his grip.
"Don't think this is the way to do it."
"What way would that be?" Ezra demanded.
Vin frowned. "Yellin' at each other and tearin' into each other like a couple a' rabid mountain lions." He held Ezra's arm for a beat, waiting to be sure Ezra was staying put. Reassured Ezra wouldn't chase down Kaylee, he slowly let go. "Get your head on straight and then talk to her."
Ezra felt a humorless laugh forming. There was no getting his head on straight when Kaylee Timms was around. That much he was certain of.
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