Chapter 32

Kaylee sat in the nearly empty bar with Vin. Her ID wasn't going to get her access to a drink, so she had an orange juice in front of her. Her plate of French toast and eggs was untouched, but every so often she'd move the food around with her fork, but then not quite be able to stomach the thought of a bite.

Next to her, Vin had his own plate of food that he was eating, more silent than usual since their run-in at the check cashing storefront earlier that morning.

The door to the nearly empty bar opened behind them and Vin looked up.

"The last morning in Vegas is always the worst for everyone," he said.

It was the first he had spoken since their food had arrived and Kaylee looked over at him.

"You'll see," Vin said.

Kaylee followed his eyes to see Josiah coming into the bar. His usually peaceful countenance was more of what she'd expect to see of someone facing a hangman.

Josiah sat down heavily in an empty chair at their table.

"Mornin', Josiah," Vin said, not seeming surprised by Josiah's gloominess at all.

Josiah's response was a deep sigh. He flagged the waitress down for a beer.

Before Kaylee could ask him what was wrong, Buck was coming through the door. His hangdog expression was one Kaylee couldn't remember seeing before. He had one the title in team roping with JD the night before, but he looked like he had lost everything.

"She's gone," Buck said. He pulled another chair up to their table so Vin wouldn't have to take his injured leg off the one it was propped up on.

"She always is," Vin said. "What happens in Vegas…"

Buck ordered a beer and waved away any offer of breakfast from the waitress. "This year was different," Buck said.

"It always is," Vin said again, but there was sympathy in his eyes.

"I really thought she'd at least think about comin' back to Colorado with me," Buck said.

"You and me both, brother," Josiah said before taking a long drink of the beer the waitress set in front of him.

Kaylee looked between the two men.

"When Emma said that this would be our year, I was sure she'd leave the stage for me this year."

"Emma Dubonnet?" Kaylee asked, trying to piece together Josiah's tale of woe. "The singer you've been seeing all week?"

Josiah nodded half heartedly and Kaylee felt her heart squeeze with compassion. She had a soft spot for Josiah. He had been the only one to understand her tears when Ezra had insisted on punishing himself after Maude's visit. And he had been the one to marry her and Ezra, wish them well and promise he would be there if they needed anything.

She reached her hand across the table and squeezed Josiah's larger one, her own worries and hopelessness over Cletus falling away as she looked at the heartbreak on Josiah's face.

"I'm sorry, Josiah," she said sincerely.

"She is to me as a ray of sun is to the dark morning," Josiah said.

Kaylee didn't entirely know what he meant by that, but she smiled at him. "She sounds really special."

"She's one of a kind," Josiah agreed.

"You want one of a kind?" Buck asked. "How about a woman who's a waitress in Vegas because she had to leave a snake of an ex? She came here with nothin' and built up a whole life for herself." Kaylee could hear the open admiration in Buck's voice. "A life so good, she won't even consider leavin' it for Colorado," his voice fell in despondency.

Kaylee reached her other hand over to Buck's because she didn't know what else to do.

"Neither one of you would really want your lady friends to give up what they love to follow you back home, would you?" Vin asked.

When neither one spoke, Kaylee figured that answered Vin's question.

When the door opened again, Kaylee didn't bother looking to see who it was, her attention on her friends who were obviously heartbroken.

"I see I'm just in time for this year's meeting of the lonely hearts club," Ezra commented. He gave Kaylee's shoulder a light squeeze and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he greeted Josiah and Buck.

Ezra pulled another chair over to the table, next to Kaylee. Kaylee could feel his eyes on her and tried to give him a reassuring smile. She was fine, everything was fine now, he didn't need to worry about her.

Ezra didn't look reassured, but didn't push her. He draped his arm on the back of her chair, his hand finding her back and lightly tracing his fingers in a comforting pattern across her shoulders. "You were gone early this morning," he said quietly.

"I had some stuff to take care of before we head out," Kaylee said.

"And you got it taken care of?" Ezra asked.

"Yep," Kaylee said. "It's all taken care of."

Chris had come in with Ezra and taken a seat at the other end of the table. He looked over Josiah and Buck, at Kaylee's hold on their hands.

"You two need to pull it together," he said.

Kaylee looked at him in shock. She couldn't believe his lack of empathy for his two friends. But Vin continued to eat his breakfast and Ezra kept a hand on her shoulder, reaching for a menu with his free hand.

"Chris," Buck said. "If you had met Inez, you would see how a man could grieve mightily for her."

Chris paused and Ezra looked up from his menu.

"You mean you were with that same woman all week?" Chris asked.

Buck let out a long sigh. "The best week of my life," he said.

"Pretty sure you said that last year, too," Chris said.

Kaylee gave their hands a squeeze before releasing her grip, turning in her chair and ready to tell Chris to back off, but he spoke again.

"You two do this every year. And every year this week you get with Emma and…your ladies, Buck, is something to be thankful for." He motioned the waitress over. "Hell, every day you get with someone is a gift. Don't ruin that by dwelling on the ending."

Silence fell over the table. Kaylee thought of the tattoo of a little boy's smiling face she had seen on Chris' arm. And then she thought about what he just said. She looked over at Ezra. Every day was a gift.

"Miss Dubonnet is surely a gift straight from heaven," Josiah said.

"I don't think I've ever met a woman who can do the things Inez does. You know, the first night she—"

"Thanks, Buck, we get the idea," Chris cut him off.

Ezra snorted and Kaylee found herself grinning when Buck smiled and Josiah let out a chuckle.

"To loves old and new," Ezra said, lifting the glass of water the waitress had set in front of him. He looked at Kaylee and instead of lifting her own glass, she wrapped her arms around Ezra's neck and pressed her lips against his to the sound of Buck's whistle.

#

Ezra didn't know where Kaylee had been that morning. He had woken to an empty bed next to him and her dog looking at him pleadingly for some food.

He had obliged the dog, then went over to the arena to oversee his stock getting loaded for the trip home. But the entire time, his mind had been on Kaylee, second guessing his decision to give her space, not press her for answers. It was what he would want when dealing with Maude, but then again, he wasn't sure it was what he needed.

But Kaylee was by his side now, making their way to get her horse and load the mare into Vin's trailer.

"I was thinking," Ezra said as Kaylee slipped the halter onto the mare and took the lead rope to lead her into the aisle of the barn. "We should get a different trailer next year."

Kaylee looked at him in surprise. "I love your trailer," she said. "It's…special to me." She smiled at him and Ezra was surprised to feel a stir of sentimentality in his chest. The trailer they had shared this summer was a special place. Where she had slept on the couch before he met her, where Buck had locked them in together until Ezra proposed, and where they had shared heated nights and sunny mornings.

"It is special," he agreed. "But it worked for me because my stock is hauled by a semi truck and trailer. Now I'm traveling with a horse again."

Kaylee absently scratched at Alcott's neck. "So you think you should get a horse trailer?"

"I think we should," Ezra clarified. "One with living quarters." It was what most competitors traveled in. He had no idea why Vin didn't invest in one, he knew the man had enough money from his years of winning to easily afford one, but Vin insisted he liked the simplicity of his truck and stock trailer. Nothing fancy. And Buck and JD were happy enough to have Vin haul their horses and pull the eyesore that Buck said gave them the space they needed for his dalliances.

"That's…we don't have to…" Kaylee said uncertainly.

"Why don't we look this winter? See if there's anything that catches your eye." He knew what Kaylee had come from. He had seen the banged up truck and rusty trailer she had been hauling before she met him. Her discomfort in the swanky hotel hadn't gone unnoticed by him.

She finally nodded in agreement with his compromise.

With his load of stock already on the road, and her horse trailered and JD behind the wheel to drive Vin and the horses back home, Ezra had nothing left to take care of. In previous years he would stay an additional week or more in Vegas, using his winnings from the poker tournament to finance even larger games. This year, the winnings were in the bank and he wanted nothing more than to go home with Kaylee.

"Are you ready to head home?" he asked.

Kaylee looked up at him and he saw a longing in her eyes at his words. She nodded.

When he opened his truck, he was surprised that Kaylee got in first, before calling her dog in. He closed the door behind the dog and got in the driver's seat. Kaylee slid over so she was close to him, the dog getting the window seat.

"I don't think Barney should get the best seat every time," she said with a grin.

Ezra smiled as she tucked herself against his side and he started his truck, ready to take her home.

#

Vin managed to lead his horse into the corral in spite of his crutches. Buck took Smokey and his own roping horse. Chris was unloading JD's horse and Alcott from the trailer.

After eight month on the road for rodeoing, it was good to be home.

"Chris keeping Kaylee's horse here?" Buck asked.

"Sounded like Ezra wanted to get Kaylee home and deal with the horse tomorrow," Vin said, leaning one of his crutches against the fence so he could open the gate to let his horse into the pasture that was home.

"Well, now, I wonder why he was so eager to get her home," Buck said with a grin.

Vin held back his laugh. Ezra could play it cool all he liked. None of them missed the way he looked at Kaylee.

With the horses settled, Vin gave Chris a nod good night and headed through the late night dark up to the bunkhouse he and Buck shared.

"First thing we do is restock the fridge. Beer, meat, and more beer," Buck said, coming in behind him and throwing his keys on the counter of their shared living room.

Vin smiled. "And then what do you have planned? Who's getting the first phone call?" He eased himself down onto their worn leather couch and propped his leg up on the battered coffee table.

Buck frowned. "You want some ice for you knee?" he asked, ignoring Vin's question. He rifled through the freezer and found a forgotten bag of peas covered in frost.

Vin held up a hand and caught the bag when Buck threw it to him. He watched Buck, the slump of his shoulders as he flopped down onto the recliner and reached for the remote.

"You ok?" he asked. Buck usually had a list of which women in town he'd be calling to reconnect with when they returned.

"Just fine," Buck said. He found a baseball playoff game and tossed the remote back onto the table.

Vin shifted, moving the frozen bag to rest on the most painful part of his knee. "Buck?" he pressed when Buck didn't offer anything more.

Buck heaved a sigh. "I hardly thought of those ladies I promised to call when we got home," he said. "And then, when I did, all I could think was how they measure up to Inez. And you know what?"

Vin raised his eyebrows in question.

"They're all just…plain."

"Plain?" Vin asked. He thought of the parade of women with long painted nails, glitter eye shadow, and hair colored to hues of red and blond that didn't occur naturally.

"Not a one of them has the intelligence, or sense of humor, or confidence that Inez has."

"Maybe you should call Inez," Vin said.

Buck snorted. "She wouldn't give me her number. Tried to get it before we parted and she said we shouldn't make this complicated."

It sounded plenty complicated already to Vin as he looked at his dejected friend.

"Maybe we should get those beers tonight," Vin suggested.

And even though they had been on the road the better part of two days, Vin tossed his ice pack aside and headed out to the truck with Buck.

#

Kaylee squirmed around in her seat, trying to take in everything around her since Ezra had turned off the highway several miles ago. She craned her neck to look around her at the fields that sloped upward toward the foothills, moonlight not dimmed by any city lights. Ezra slowed the truck as they passed a long driveway.

"That's Mr. Larabee's commune," he said, a smile in his voice.

Kaylee took her eyes off their surroundings long enough to look at him. She winced. "He didn't like me calling it that, did he?"

Ezra's grin widened. "I think you challenge his patience at times."

She looked at the scenery around him, losing her focus on what she and Ezra were talking about. "He challenges my patience sometimes," she commented off-handedly, ducking her head to see out the driver's side window and the glimpses she was catching of the distant mountains through the trees.

Ezra let out a laugh. "I look forward to you telling him that."

Before Kaylee could respond, Ezra slowed the truck around a bend and he nodded toward the windshield. "We're here."

Ezra let out a soft grunt when Kaylee's elbow caught him in his side as she lunged forward in her seat far enough that her seatbelt caught her. She caught her breath as she took in the house, the barns, the mountains in the distance. And felt the warmth of the man next to her.

The knot in her throat was too much. She blinked against the emotion that heated her eyes. She was home. With her husband.

Knowing that she would be staying with Ezra, that nothing could come between them, was almost too much.

"If there's anything that isn't what you expected, you can let me know and we can make adjustments," Ezra said next to her.

Kaylee whirled in her seat to face him, the seatbelt catching at her sudden movement again. She heard the caution in Ezra's voice, and she knew him well enough now to know that his impassive face was hiding a wealth of concerns that he would never say.

"It's—it's…" Kaylee struggled for words, trying to find the way to tell Ezra she would be happy anywhere with him and hadn't even given any thought to where he lived. That the two story house in front of her was more than she had even dreamed of. "It's too much," was all she could manage.

She felt the tension leave Ezra then. "Let's get inside," he said. "I'll show you around."

Kaylee let him help her down from the truck. She started to go towards the trailer to get her bags, but Ezra stopped her.

"I'll come back out for your things."

Kaylee tried to take in everything on the short walk up to the house. She could see the pens Ezra's bulls were in, the larger pasture where the cows were. Behind the large barn she caught sight of an arena with a chute to load the bulls into.

She tripped on the first step up to the porch and forced her attention back to the house.

Ezra used his key to unlock the heavy wooden door and swung it open. Before Kaylee could take a step, he swept her up into his arms.

Letting out a shriek of laughter, Kaylee wrapped her arms around his neck. "What are you doing?" she laughed, not fighting his closeness.

"You, my dear, are being carried across the threshold," Ezra said. "I may have missed giving you a real wedding and honeymoon, but we're doing this right."

Kaylee tightened her grip around his neck. "You've done everything just right, Ezra," she whispered against his ear.

His steps paused and then he cleared his throat and kept walking, heading through a comfortable living room with a vaulted ceiling, toward the kitchen at the far end of the open floor plan. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Are you going to put me down?" Kaylee countered, light teasing in her words.

Ezra pretended to consider it. "I think I like you right where you are."

"Me too," Kaylee said. She pressed a kiss to the underside of Ezra's jaw, his stubble scratching at her lips.

He made a sound at the back of his throat and looked down at her.

"Maybe you'd like to see the bedroom first," he said.

Kaylee pressed a hand against his cheek, moving her lips back to his jaw, working her way towards his lips. "That's a good idea," she murmured. Her breath caught as he shifted his hold on her, one hand grazing her. "A really good idea."

#

Ezra propped himself up on one elbow. The light that came in from the hallway illuminated a path across his room that didn't reach to the bed. He looked down at Kaylee, sprawled across the bed, the silk sheet falling off her back as it rose and fell with steady breaths in her sleep. Her hair was loose across her shoulders and Ezra brushed his hand across one strand.

He had never had anyone in his home, his bed, like this. He had protected his personal space. Only Chris, Vin, and the others had been invited over for poker nights. He never brought dates home. But looking at Kaylee, he realized his house had never really felt like home before this. Nothing had ever looked as right as her sleeping in his bed.

He studied Kaylee's face as she stirred slightly. Her brow knit and she let out sound in her sleep, one arm starting to move like she was pushing someone away. Ezra shifted, pulling her closer to him. She struggled for a moment, letting out a small cry and then it was like she recognized his arms, even in her sleep. With a soft sigh, she moved closer and pressed her face against his chest.

He waited until her breathing evened out again. In the three nights since she had lost at the finals, her sleep had gotten progressively more restless, fighting invisible battles in her sleep. Ezra wished he knew what she fighting. What she was running from. He was used to controlling his own fate, making sure every contingency was controlled to keep the odds in his favor.

He didn't know how to do that with Kaylee. He had never felt more at a loss than when whatever it was that she was struggling against attacked her in her sleep. And when she woke up, she would assure him she was fine, making it clear she wasn't talking about it. And not knowing what he was supposed to do, he would let her change the subject, or distract him with her kisses and touch.

Seeing that she was settled down into a deep sleep again, Ezra slipped out his side of the bed. He pulled on his pants, found his shirt and headed downstairs.

Outside was quiet. His phone was still in his truck. He got it out of his truck and glanced up toward his dark house. He couldn't see the window to the room Kaylee slept in, it was at the back of the house.

He should really check on his herd. He hired help for the duration of the season, while he traveled, but it was usually the first thing he did when he got home after Vegas. When he wasn't distracted by his new wife.

In spite of his worry about Kaylee, a smile pulled at his lips. Maybe now that they were home and she was done competing for the season, the nightmares would stop. She would be able to leave Nebraska behind and the nightmares would stop.

And if that didn't work…

Ezra pulled his phone out of his pocket. He should call over to Chris and make sure Kaylee's horse got unloaded alright.

The phone rang twice before Chris answered.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Ezra pulled his phone away from his ear to look at the screen. It was almost one am.

"Only the elderly would consider this late," Ezra said, trying to play off his mistake. He should have known Chris would be asleep after two days on the road to get home.

Chris' long sigh came through the line. "Something wrong?" he asked.

Ezra glanced up toward the house. "No. I just wanted to make sure Kaylee's horse was settled in for the night."

There was a long enough pause that Ezra knew Chris wasn't taking his claim at face value.

"Her horse is fine. Got her all bedded down in a stall after she ran off some energy in the pasture."

"Good," Ezra said. "That's all I needed to know." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to convince himself he was fine, Kaylee was fine. "I'll let you return to your slumber."

"Ezra," Chris' voice stopped him from hanging up.

"Yes?"

"Things ok over there?"

"Just fine," Ezra said.

Chris' silence said what he thought of Ezra's confident answer.

"Why don't you bring Kaylee over for dinner tomorrow," Chris said. "I'll pick up some steaks and we'll grill out before you bring her horse home."

Ezra nodded before he realized Chris couldn't see him. "That would work." He could get someone else to see what he was missing. To let him know if he was failing Kaylee in some way. And there was no one who would sooner tell him if he was failing than Chris.

"Tomorrow," Chris said, the matter settled. "Now let me get some sleep."

The line went dead and Ezra held the phone in his hand until the screen went dark.

In the distance a cow let out a quiet lowing. Ezra slipped his phone into his pocket and continued on his way. As long as he was up, he would make sure everything had gone well in his absence. The herd was at least something he could understand.

#