There's a little echo from the episode Sins of The Past in this chapter. I had really loved that episode with the tension between Maude and Ezra, so it was a bit of a framework for this chapter. I hope you enjoy!

And because I keep forgetting to share, I have a bit of a playlist of songs that have made me think of Ezra and Kaylee and have driven this story. Not necessarily only for this chapter, but for everything so far, and what I have planned to come. :) So, if anyone also likes songs that make them think of stories or characters, Ezra and Kaylee's songs:

One Man Band by Old Dominion

Happy Anywhere by Blake Shelton

Your Pretty Heart by Parker McCollum

Starting Over by Chris Stapleton

Chapter 38

Kaylee took her time doing the morning chores. She hadn't been able to sleep, getting up and starting the work that would keep her out of the house had seemed like a better option.

She paused near the last horse stall, bracing a hand on the wall as dizziness tilted her world. She knew Ezra was worried about her. She knew she needed to get a full night's sleep.

She waited for the unexpected tilt-a-whirl ride to end, but the vertigo lingered in spite of improving. Kaylee blinked against the sickening dizziness. Maybe she would try to take a nap later. After Maude left. And after Kaylee went to town to make another withdrawal from the ATM. She would send Cletus some extra money to move an extra step toward clearing her debt, Maude would be gone, and maybe she would be able to sleep. She wasn't sure how many hours sleep she was getting a night, but she was starting to feel the effects.

Ezra came into the horse barn and Kaylee made an effort to straighten away from the support of the wall.

The worried lines on Ezra's face only eased slightly when he saw her. "You're up early again," Ezra commented.

Kaylee tried for a smile for Ezra. Barney ran from her side to Ezra's, hopping around Ezra as if he hadn't moved to sleep on the floor on Ezra's side of the bed for the entire night. Ezra gave Barney's ears a scratch before reaching his hand out to Kaylee. She slipped her hand into his.

"You should go visit Buck and Vin today," Ezra said.

Kaylee looked at him in surprise.

Ezra's jaw was tight. "There's no need for you to suffer through a last full day of Maude."

Kaylee knew it was harder on Ezra than it would ever be on her. She at least deserved everything Maude said to her.

She squeezed Ezra's hand tightly. "I'm staying with you."

"A poor choice," Ezra said.

"Never," Kaylee said. She pulled him to a stop and framed his face with her hands. "Being with you will never be a bad choice."

Ezra studied her face, his jaw finally relaxing slightly and a small smile coming to his lips. "I can guarantee that's not true."

Kaylee smiled and gave him a kiss. "You're wrong," she said lightly.

"Yoo-hoo!"

Kaylee winced and she felt every muscle in Ezra's jaw tighten under her hands. They turned to see Maude on the porch.

"Good morning, Mother," Ezra said. He started toward the porch and Kaylee stayed near him. "Would you like me to start your car for you?"

"Oh honestly Ezra," Maude said. "You aren't seriously evicting me, are you?"

"Evicting, removing, kicking out. Whatever you prefer to call it."

Maude didn't look impressed by Ezra's tone. She smiled at both him and Kaylee, but Kaylee was pretty sure it wasn't sincere.

"I want to see your operation here," she said. "You never showed me around your property, your barns, the last time I visited."

"That was because there was an angry debtor who learned your location and was on his way to find you," Ezra said.

Maude waved away his reminder as if it was of no consequence. "Harley and I got that all worked out. It was a misunderstanding."

Maude waited for Ezra to come into the house. When Kaylee shrugged out of her new jacket and unzipped the sweatshirt underneath, Maude raised her eyebrows.

Kaylee looked down at her t-shirt. A pair of spurs and the slogan 'More Rowdy than Howdy' were emblazoned across the front. Kaylee tugged at her shirt uncomfortably. Why hadn't she paid attention to what she had pulled from her drawer this morning?

"How…amusing," Maude said.

Ezra interrupted. He handed his keys to Kaylee. "You said you had errands to run in town."

Kaylee had mentioned something last night about needing to go to town, not letting Ezra know it was because she needed access to money to send to Nebraska.

"Enjoy your day," Ezra said and Kaylee read the message in his eyes. He didn't want her subjected to Maude. Maude wasn't leaving until she was ready, Ezra was trying his best to protect Kaylee, and he was silently pleading with her to make this easier on him.

Kaylee picked up her jacket again after she took the keys from Ezra. She got her purse from where she had last dropped it near the front door.

"I'll be back this afternoon," she said, not sure she was making the right decision, leaving Ezra with Maude.

"Take your time," Ezra said firmly.

#

Kaylee stared at the cash in her hand. She didn't glance at the receipt from the ATM machine. She knew Ezra still had plenty of money in his account for her to take what she needed. And he had other accounts than this one.

Her stomach pitched sickeningly as she thought about Ezra, back at the house with Maude, left to her insults and scoffing because Kaylee didn't want Ezra to find out about Cletus. Cletus had said…

Kaylee dropped her head against the steering wheel of Ezra's truck. The bills in her hand crinkled as her hands curled into fists and she fought back tears. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't keep lying to Ezra. She knew what Cletus had threatened, but maybe Cletus didn't need to know if she told Ezra, if Ezra helped her.

She couldn't do this anymore. She had to tell Ezra. She had to let him know about Cletus, about selling his drugs for money to keep a roof over her head and then the debt she owed him. The threats, the fear, the panic that followed her no matter what.

Kaylee stuffed the cash into the glove box and put the truck in gear. She had to get back to Ezra. She had to put an end to all this.

Her mind made up, she pressed down harder on the accelerator, not wanting to lose her nerve. Not wanting to do anything but tell Ezra.

#

Maude frowned as she climbed the stairs to the porch at Ezra's side. Ezra braced himself for whatever comment she may have. He had managed to almost enjoy showing his mother his ranch, her picking her way through the barns in her expensive heeled boots.

"Your choice of wife is surprising," Maude said.

Ezra crossed the living room, heading straight to the cabinet that held his wine. He skipped the wine, though and grabbed a bottle of vodka, pouring a straight shot into a glass and tossing it back.

"Oh honestly, Ezra," Maude said, her lips thinning with distaste. "It's not even supper time."

"I am drinking my supper tonight," Ezra said, lifting a mock toast to her before pouring another glass. He would be drinking every meal until Maude left in order to get through this ordeal.

Maude put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Fine. Let's not dance around the subject anymore. Have you lost your mind?"

"In what way, Mother? In finding a career that's honest? In marrying a woman I care deeply for? In making plans for an honest future?" He heard a vehicle pull up outside and hoped Kaylee had the good sense to go to the barns and continue to veer away from Maude. Something Ezra wished he would have done himself.

"That woman is going to clean you out, Ezra. She will take everything you have and leave you with nothing!"

"Ah, yes," Ezra said. He took another shot. Anything to get numb himself to Maude's criticisms. "Relationship advice from Maude Standish. I suppose your three—four?—marriages have made you quite the expert. What would you advise me to do? Please tell me, I'd love to hear it."

"I don't even know where to begin," Maude huffed. "How about rule number one. Don't trust anyone. I thought I taught you better than this. What have all my efforts been for?"

The front door opened, but Ezra barely registered the sound.

"Your efforts?" Ezra laughed humorlessly before anger overtook him. "Your efforts?" He took a drink straight from the bottle. "Exactly what effort have you ever exerted that wasn't entirely self-serving?"

"You are incredibly ungrateful," Maude said, barely reacting to his anger. "Children," she murmured to herself.

"Yes, you have my eternal gratitude for trying to ruin any happiness I've managed to find in spite of you," Ezra said. Another drink.

"I am trying to save you from yourself! From a harlot who is using you for your money!" Maude finally lost some of her composure. "That woman married you for your money, I can guarantee that!"

"If she had any interest in my money, I would toss her out the door myself," Ezra hissed, taking a step closer to Maude. "Kaylee doesn't care about money."

"Oh, grow up," Maude said with an eye roll. "Girls like that only care about one thing."

There was movement behind Maude's shoulder and Ezra saw Kaylee's horrified expression, tears welling in her eyes, even from the distance he was.

"Maybe you do," Ezra nearly snarled at Maude. "Not everyone is like you. Thank goodness."

"Everyone is driven by money. It's like you learned nothing from me!"

Ezra couldn't control the fury taking over, hotter than the burn of the drink in his chest. He hurled his glass against the wall, the glass shattering making Maude blink, but not flinch.

"I've learned plenty from you!" Ezra advanced a step. "I learned how to pretend I don't care. To not need anyone. To not trust anyone." He curled his fingers more tightly around the bottle he still held.

Kaylee's face was pale and she looked stricken, as if Ezra had thrown the glass at her.

"Fine." Maude's words were crisp, not starting to slur like Ezra's. "I'll leave you to lie in the bed you've made. But don't be surprised when you wake up alone, with everything you've worked for gone."

Maude turned to go and saw Kaylee. Kaylee took a step backwards, her lips trembling at the look of disgust Maude gave her.

Maude didn't say anything, just went up the stairs, leaving Kaylee with her back pressed against the front door.

There was a knock and Kaylee jumped away from it.

Ezra took his bottle into the den off the living room that doubled as his home office. He couldn't face Kaylee. Not after she had seen the type of woman who had spawned him. And judging by the look on Kaylee's face, she was appalled at seeing who Ezra really was, how he had been raised to think.

Ezra took a last long drink from the bottle then flung it across the room with every regret and bit of shame he had in his upbringing.

#

Kaylee watched Ezra go. The knock sounded again and she ignored it, wanting to go after Ezra, but not sure if he wanted her after everything Maude had said. He had given her one long unreadable look and gone into his office.

This time the door opened when she didn't answer.

JD peeked his head inside. "Kaylee?" he asked.

Kaylee pressed trembling lips together.

JD noticed and stepped all the way inside. "I needed to pick up some books, but I heard yelling…"

Kaylee blinked against the tears that threatened to spill.

"Was Ezra yellin' at you?" JD demanded. "Did he hurt you?" He looked around like he was ready to give Ezra a fight right there, squaring his shoulders.

Kaylee quickly shook her head. "No, Ezra didn't do anything," she reassured JD. JD's posture relaxed, but Kaylee felt even more on edge. She had done it. She had lied and lied and there was no way she could tell Ezra that she had been stealing from him now. Not after everything Maude had said.

The sound of glass breaking came from the office and Kaylee flinched.

JD's brow knit and he looked that direction.

"I'll go see if he's alright," Kaylee said uncertainly. She was about to when Maude came down the stairs, suitcase in hand. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and Kaylee froze, like a rabbit faced with a predatory wolf.

Maude's icy eyes held Kaylee's. Kaylee couldn't breathe. Maude knew.

Maude flicked her eyes over to JD and smiled. "The rest of my bags are upstairs."

JD looked like he was going to take a stand and stay by Kaylee's side, but then Kaylee could see him make the decision to just get Maude out of the house as quickly as possible.

As soon as JD was out of sight, Maude's smile disappeared. She leaned in to Kaylee, her words soft, the rattle of a snake ready to strike.

"I have no idea what your game is, but I know what your prize is." Maude's voice was a hiss.

Kaylee withdrew, but Maude didn't back off.

"You won't get anything from Ezra. I'll make sure of that."

JD appeared at the top of the stairs, precariously balancing Maude's luggage in his arms. Maude held Kaylee's eyes, an unmistakable message in her own eyes before she straightened and turned to JD with an appreciative smile.

Kaylee watched Maude go, her heart unable to beat.

#

Vin watched the familiar scenery from the window of Chris' truck as they approached the road that would lead to Chris' ranch.

"You heard from Ezra or Kaylee?" Vin asked, checking his phone and not seeing any missed calls.

Chris grimaced as he flipped on the turn signal. "Nope. But haven't seen lights and sirens heading up to Ezra's so they must all be surviving."

Vin hoped that was true.

"You want a ride to your surgery next week?" Chris asked.

Vin glanced at him. "You think Kaylee will let you?"

Chris' lips twitched slightly. "I got you to your pre op appointment today."

Vin absently rubbed at his knee, more than ready for surgery next week and to start healing. He wanted nothing more than to get back on his horse.

Vin's phone buzzed and he answered.

"Vin? Where are you?" JD's voice came through the line. "I think you should get over here?"

Vin glanced at Chris, ready to tell him to turn around and head towards JD's. "What's wrong?" he asked. He could hear the uncertainty in JD's voice. The worry. "Is it Casey?"

Chris looked over sharply and Vin shook his head, he didn't have any idea of what was going on yet.

"Casey? No, I'm at Ezra's."

"You're at Ezra's," Vin repeated, for Chris' benefit.

Chris sped up, taking the dirt road off the highway that would lead past his house and up to Ezra's.

"He's drinking and Maude left and Kaylee's just…Can you come over here?" JD asked.

"We're on our way," Vin said. He hung up the phone.

Chris looked at him in question.

"Maude left," Vin said.

"That's good." Chris sounded like it was more of a question, looking for why that would have JD calling for help.

"Ezra's drinking," Vin said.

Chris sped up a little more, the truck fishtailing on the gravel slightly.

They both knew what happened when Maude visited. What happened when Maude had turned up this summer. Vin felt his jaw tighten.

Chris made the drive up to Ezra's in record time. Chris got out of the truck, looking over his shoulder to see if Vin needed help. Vin was getting his crutches and jerked his chin toward the house for Chris to go ahead of him.

Vin managed to nearly catch up to Chris when he was entering the house, JD holding the door open for him.

"I didn't know what to do," JD said apologetically.

"Where are they?" Chris asked. Vin could hear the frown in his voice. He wasn't feeling much more optimistic about what they might find.

"Ezra's over there," JD said, pointing toward the deck off the kitchen. "Kaylee's in the office."

Vin started to head toward Kaylee, trusting that Chris would go get the drink out of Ezra's hand.

Kaylee was kneeling near the far wall when Vin went in.

"I told you it's fine, JD," she said without looking up. "You should go home."

She sounded anything but fine.

Vin swung his way over to her on his crutches. She startled when the crutches came in view and looked up at them. Shame was the only thing Vin could read on her face when she looked up at him.

Vin leaned his crutches against the wall and managed to awkwardly hold the wall with one hand to lower himself to the floor next to her.

Kaylee kept her eyes fixed on the broken glass she was gathering into a small trash can.

Vin started picking up pieces. The hundred proof scent made it clear what had broken.

"You ok?" Vin asked.

"Fine," Kaylee said quietly.

Vin wanted to say more, but Kaylee looked fragile enough he was scared to push.

"Maude left?" he asked.

Kaylee gave a single nod. She put the last of the large pieces in the trash can and stood, going for a broom.

Vin stayed put, trying to figure out what had Kaylee so scared of telling the truth. He knew Maude could cause the ground to shift with a simple visit, but Kaylee looked worse than that.

Kaylee started sweeping the glass from the wood floor, emptying the dustpan in the trash and setting the broom aside.

Vin started to stand and Kaylee moved to give him a hand, her hands chilled in spite of the heat in the house. Vin tightened his grip on her hands when he stood in front of her.

"You don't got to keep all this to yourself," he said.

Kaylee pulled her hands away. "I should go see Ezra," she said, avoiding Vin's attempt to talk about the root of the problem.

Vin opened his mouth to say something more, but held back. Not now. Not with Maude barely out the door and Ezra drinking.

"Chris is with him," Vin said, getting his crutches again.

Kaylee nodded. She took a shaky breath and went to find her husband. Vin followed her, wishing she would let someone help her. Wishing she'd let him help her.

#

Kaylee saw Ezra and Chris standing side by side on the deck, looking out over the pastures. Ezra held a new bottle in his hand. He took a long drink then handed it over to Chris. Chris took a drink, then set it on the railing. Kaylee noticed he set it on his right side, away from Ezra.

She came out onto the deck, the cold barely registering with how chilled she still felt after Maude's confrontation.

Chris looked over his shoulder at her approach.

"You good?" he asked her.

Kaylee nodded quickly. Everything that had happened was her doing. She wasn't about to say anything that would garner her sympathy.

"Ezra?" she asked quietly.

When she had gone into the office, he hadn't spoken to her. Just left to find another drink.

This time he looked at her, his eyes hazy with drink, but his face softening. Some relief finally found its way in. Kaylee tentatively reached a hand out to brush his arm. Ezra caught her hand with his. He pulled her to his side and Kaylee pressed in as close as she could, knees weak with the knowledge he wasn't angry with her. He hadn't believed everything Maude had said. And she knew there was no way she could tell him anything to make him believe otherwise. She couldn't do that to Ezra.

"I'm sorry for my mother," Ezra started.

Kaylee shook her head, trying to hold Ezra tighter. "None of that was your fault."

Ezra held her with one arm, the other lifting to rub a hand over his face wearily.

"You two need anything?" Chris asked.

Ezra didn't look entirely coherent, but he also looked calm. Whatever Chris had said to him on the deck had brought him back from whatever dark place Maude had sent him to.

"No," Kaylee answered. "Thank you." She included JD in her appreciation. "For everything. For being here." Chris gave her a slight nod and JD responded with a relieved grin. Kaylee met Vin's eyes and saw the worry there, the unspoken instruction to come clean to Ezra. She quickly looked away, back to Ezra.

"You ready to come inside?" she asked him.

Ezra weaved slightly, but went in with her, lifting a hand of farewell to the other men as they left.

Kaylee managed to get him onto the couch, deciding the stairs were too much of a challenge tonight. Ezra didn't let her hand go and Kaylee willingly let him pull her down to curl up against him on the big leather sofa. She didn't move, not wanting to break anything between her and Ezra. She stayed there until his breathing leveled off, his chest rising and falling steadily with sleep.

Kaylee closed her eyes, focusing on the beat of his heart beneath her cheek. But she didn't sleep.

#