Chapter 49

Ezra pulled his truck up in front of his house. He stared at the dark house. He had no doubt his friends had overseen the stock. Vin had texted him to let him know he was looking after Barney.

Casey had texted to ask if he had heard from Kaylee.

Ezra gripped the wheel tighter, even though he had already turned off the engine.

No one had heard from her. He shouldn't be surprised. What did surprise him was how badly he wanted to call her, to check in on her. After what Chris had told him, he was worried about her.

But he had seen what she really was. A con artist. A liar.

If he called her, it would rip open every wound in his heart. He swallowed hard, tightened his jaw. He never wanted to feel like that again. Never wanted to give her an opening to hurt him like that again.

He finally opened the door. He left his bag in the cab, he could bring it in tomorrow. Right now, he wanted a drink, a shower, and his own bed.

Thoughts of his bed immediately brought Kaylee to mind. The way she would thrash around until he wrapped an arm around her. The way she would cry out in her sleep and Ezra would be on the outside, left to wonder what she wasn't telling him.

Well, now he knew.

He opened the door to his house. Flipped on a light.

It was too quiet. Too empty.

He had to get past this. He had to get over her.

He turned on every light in the house. He went upstairs to the room they had shared. His step faltered as he approached the doorway. He made himself enter the room.

The drawers that had held her things were still open, the clothes she had left behind spilling from the drawers in her haste to grab what she could when she left. Her word of the day calendar was on the floor.

Ezra's chest clenched. He picked up the calendar, its worn pages crinkling in his grip. He was going to pitch it in the trash. Maybe the fireplace. His fingers tightened on it. He thought of Kaylee, the uncertainty on her face when he had found her with the calendar. She couldn't have been a good enough actress to feign that expression, could she?

Ezra finally tossed the calendar back in the drawer she had kept it in and slammed it shut. Slammed all the drawers shut.

He went back downstairs. The couch would be good enough for sleeping tonight.

#

Vin got out of bed slowly. His knee was a dull ache. His ribs were sore. His neck was stiff.

He sat at the edge of his bed for a several minutes, waiting for the worst of the pain to ebb. With a grown, he pushed up to standing.

He limped across his room to the dresser. It took some time moving in the morning before all his injuries—old and new—eased up. Years of rodeo and the more recent truck wreck had taken their toll. But Vin wouldn't change anything. Not in choosing to rodeo, and not in getting in that truck and trying to talk to Kaylee.

He paused by his phone on his nightstand. He swiped open the camera and aimed the phone at the black lab lounging on the rug next to his bed. He snapped a picture of the dog.

He opened his texts and sent the picture to Kaylee. Along with a short message. He misses you, too.

He sent the message knowing there wouldn't be any response. He had sent Kaylee a couple pictures of her horse, an update about Barney's newfound love of carrot sticks, and a few questions asking if she was ok. If she needed anything.

Deafening silence had been her response.

Vin sighed heavily and pulled on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, adding a flannel shirt over that.

Chris had arrived home the day before. Vin hadn't seen him yet, but had seen his truck pull in. He'd leave Inez and Buck some space for breakfast and head over to see Chris.

Buck and Inez were already in the kitchen when Vin came out of his room. Buck was leaning in, speaking quietly to Inez. She was listening, even letting Buck's hand linger over hers. Vin ducked his head and moved toward the door as fast as his aches and pains would allow.

"Hey, Vin," Buck said, straightening.

"Mornin'," Vin said. He grabbed his hat and jacket, not able to hold back a wince at the movement.

"Do you want breakfast?" Inez asked. "It's almost ready."

Vin shook his head. "Thanks, ma'am. But I'm headin' over to Chris'." He tipped his hat for Inez and went out the door.

He made his way across the yard to Chris' house. Lights were on in the kitchen. Vin hadn't seen Mary's car in the drive, but just in case, he knocked.

Chris came to the deck door and slid it open without a word. Vin followed him inside.

He took the coffee mug Chris handed him, holding it out for Chris to fill, then took a seat at the kitchen table.

Chris had a limp of his own after years of being tossed from bulls. He sank down in the chair opposite Vin.

"Buck have company?" Chris asked.

Vin looked out the window at the small car Inez had arrived in. "Not his usual kind," Vin said.

Chris' brow knit in question, but Vin didn't know what to say about the pregnant woman who had turned up so he didn't offer anything. Buck would be filling Chris in soon enough. Or Chris would meet Inez and put the pieces together himself.

"How was Arizona?" Vin asked.

Chris scowled. He didn't offer anything.

Vin didn't push. He took a drink of his coffee, the silence between him and Chris familiar. When Vin got up to refill his mug, Chris pushed his to the edge of the table and Vin refilled it.

Vin wasn't able to hide his limp or the stiff way he held his arm to avoid pulling at his ribs.

"We're getting to old for this," Chris muttered.

Vin let out a huff of agreement, knowing Chris wasn't just talking about the beating their bodies took from rodeoing. They were too old to be alone. No attachments to keep them at home. No one to miss them when they were on the road.

That wasn't entirely true. Chris had Mary. They might not have a spoken commitment between them, but anyone could see what was between them was real. Just like what Ezra and Kaylee had before Ezra tore it apart. And now Buck had Inez and a baby on the way.

Vin took a long drink of coffee that was too hot to avoid thinking about his solitary life.

Chris looked like he was lost in his own thoughts that were taking him down a miserable road of his own.

#

Buck had never felt this desperate. Inez's brow knit when Vin closed the door quietly behind him.

"I should find a place of my own," she said. "I don't think your roommate feels comfortable with me here."

Buck had no idea where she was getting that idea. All he knew was she was finally near him and he didn't want to do anything that would put distance between them again.

He looked down at her stomach. If she left, she'd take their child with. The thought of that drove a sucker punch straight through his gut.

"Vin's fine," Buck said. "He just ain't much of a talker." He brushed aside thoughts of Vin and leaned in to Inez again. "What can I do to make you comfortable here?" he asked.

Inez's hand moved under his, but she didn't pull away. "I didn't plan for any of this," she said.

"Well, now, we've got that in common," Buck said. "But thinkin' of a life with you—with a baby—I don't think I could've planned anything better."

Inez met his eyes then with an earnestness that wouldn't let him look away. "You're happy?" she asked.

"Thrilled," he said without hesitation. The worried lines that had been etched around Inez' eyes since she arrived finally eased. Buck risked taking a hand and brushing her hair back lightly.

She surprised him by leaning her head towards his hand. She closed her eyes when Buck ran his finger lightly over her cheekbone.

"We'll figure things out, Darlin'," Buck whispered. "We'll figure it out together."

She drew a long breath. Buck leaned in closer to press a kiss to the top of her head, but only got air when she pulled away.

"We'll figure things out," she agreed. "But that doesn't mean we're together."

"What?" Buck asked.

"I've done this before," she said. "It doesn't end well."

"Done what? Got pregnant by a cowboy in Vegas and had him tell you he wants to be with you? He wants a life with you?" Buck knew that wasn't what she meant, but even if it was, he couldn't see how that wasn't a happy ending.

"Believed someone when he said he was going to take care of me. Lost myself trying to fit into his life." The lines around her eyes returned and Buck could see her putting distance between them.

"The ex," Buck said, remembering the little she had told him about herself in Vegas. "You think I'm going to try to make you into someone else? If you don't listen I'd—I'd hit you?" he asked incredulously.

"I think we need to not rush things," Inez said. But Buck heard what she was saying. What she really meant.

He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to agree to this. How could they rush things any more than spending a week together and getting pregnant? But he'd choke out the agreement.

"Ok," he said. He even forced a smile. "If that's what you need."

Inez's lips moved into a small smile. "Thank you."

Buck nodded and moved away. Space. He'd give her space.

And he'd show her he didn't want to change a damn thing about her. And he'd never lay a hand on her in anything but love.

#

Kaylee stared at her phone. The picture Vin had sent that morning. The simple text he had sent.

Clearly Ezra hadn't filled the rest of them in on her lies. There was no way they would keep texting if he had.

She finished mopping the tile floor of the small laundromat and wheeled the mop and bucket into the storage room. The sound of clothes tumbling in two of the washers drowned most of the sound of the talk show a woman was watching while she folded her laundry.

Kaylee flipped on the light in the storage room and closed the door most of the way. She pulled her phone out of her pocket again, but this time she didn't look at the picture Vin had sent. She scrolled back until she found a picture of Ezra. Ezra driving the truck, his hat low over his eyes. The summer sun glinted through the windshield and Kaylee could almost hear Taylor Swift on the radio.

She clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sob that threatened.

The pain in her chest drowned out the pain in her head. She braced herself against the wall and drew a shuddery breath.

She needed to get Ezra's truck back to him. Changing his mind about her wasn't going to ever happen, but she could only imagine what he was thinking about her taking his truck. As if she was getting yet another payout from him.

And then the…she couldn't even think the word. She wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be. She just wasn't going to think about it. What Ezra would think about her if she told him. Would he think it was just another way she was trying to trap him, get his money?

The pain in her chest was too much when her thoughts took that turn. She couldn't get a breath past the tightness.

She picked up her phone, quickly getting the picture of Ezra off her screen. She'd get rid of the truck. She'd think about that.

Chris had texted asking her where the hell she had gone. He hadn't sent reassurances like Vin had. And there was no pleading for her to come back like Casey and JD had sent. He wasn't going to be drawn in by her. He wasn't going to give her one ounce of undeserved sympathy.

She would text him.

Her message was short. She had Ezra's truck and needed to send it back. Did he know someone who could come get it?

Her thumb hovered over the button that would send the message. Opening the door to her life with Ezra, no matter how small, was a risk. A risk that she would be too weak to close it again.

But this was Chris. He wouldn't let her hurt Ezra. He would see her for what she really was and protect his friend. She hit send and shoved her phone in her jeans pocket. She needed to get back to work.

She ignored the headache. The dizziness. Anything that could mean. Because she couldn't be pregnant. She couldn't.

She didn't even believe her own lies.

#

Chris stood at his counter. He stared outside into the evening light. Lights were on over at Vin and Buck's. Josiah's Suburban was pulling in. JD and Casey were getting out of JD's car. Rain and Nathan wouldn't be coming, they had plans with friends in town tonight.

"Do you think he'll come?" Mary asked.

Chris turned toward her. "Who knows."
It wasn't like Chris could figure Ezra out in the best of times. But without Kaylee in his life, Ezra was doing everything he could to destroy anything good in him.

Mary frowned slightly. "I hope he does," she said simply. She moved to the fridge to start pulling out food.

Chris watched her.

Ezra hadn't been wrong. When he had accused Chris of holding back from a commitment to Mary and Billy because of losing his wife and child, Ezra had been dead to rights. It was something Mary understood and she had taken Chris where he was at, with what little he had to offer.

But that didn't mean it was right.

"What?" Mary asked, glancing over at him as she pulled lids of the refrigerated dishes.

Chris wanted to tell her how much he needed her—and Billy—in his life.

He moved closer to her.

"Chris?" Mary asked. She looked up at him, her blue eyes questioning.

The words weren't there. Chris worked his jaw. He brushed his hand along Mary's face.

Her face relaxed into a gentle smile. She covered his hand with hers.

The words that he couldn't get out eased out of the tight ball they had formed in his chest. He didn't need to say anything.

"I'll get the food set out," Mary said. "Can you round up Billy and wash his hands?"

Chris nodded. He went towards the living room where Billy was with Josiah.

Josiah was listening intently to Billy telling him about his first riding lesson with Chris.

Chris stopped in the doorway.

"And then, Chris said I'm a real natural," Billy concluded.

Josiah smiled. "I won't argue with that." He looked over at Chris.

"A real cowboy for sure," Chris agreed.

Billy looked up at Chris, a smile stretching across his young face.

"Come on, lets wash all that barn dirt off you, Cowboy," Chris said, holding out a hand.

Billy jumped up and ran to Chris. Chris picked him up easily and tossed him over his shoulder, pretending to wrestle Billy when the boy kicked and giggled.

The front door opened as Chris and Billy passed, Casey and JD coming in, followed by Vin.

Chris nodded a hello to them and hiked his chin toward the kitchen. "There's plenty to drink in the fridge and Mary brought some sort of fancy coffee from town."

Chris went to the kitchen and set Billy on the counter by the sink, turning on the faucet. He helped him wash his hands and tossed him a towel. Billy grabbed it and scrubbed at his hands, getting them half dry before throwing it back to Chris.

Chris picked him up again and swung him down, setting him on his feet. He straightened and stopped, stiffening.

Ezra stood in the kitchen doorway. His jaw clenched, he stared back at Chris.

"Mr. Larabee," Ezra finally said.

"Ezra," Chris said.

"Hey, Ezra," Billy said.

Ezra's face softened slightly. "Young Master Travis," he greeted the kid.

"I'm going to ask Mom when supper's ready," Billy said over his shoulder to Chris, racing toward the door.

Ezra stepped to the side to let him pass.

The only sounds came from the other room where everyone was gathered.

"You made it home," Chris said.

Ezra's eyes darted to the side. His fists clenched.

Chris could only imagine what going home to his empty house had been like for Ezra.

"About what was said in Arizona," Ezra said, looking directly at Chris again. "I shouldn't—"

"Just glad you made it home," Chris cut him off. "How about a drink?"

Ezra nodded, his fists loosening. He came over and took the beer Chris pulled from the fridge.

Chris phone buzzed on the counter where he had set it earlier. Chris picked it up. He glanced at Ezra, then read the text again. Frowned, feeling his entire face pull tight with concern.

"It's Kaylee," Chris said.

Ezra's eyes flashed with alarm, then he withdrew behind that damn wall he was so good at putting up.

"She wants—"

"Oh, I'm quite certain I can imagine what she wants," Ezra said shortly.

"Ezra," Chris said, trying to keep his voice from letting on how badly he wanted to throttle his friend. "Mary found out some things about Kaylee. About her past. What she's been up against."

Ezra took a step back. "And you and Mrs. Travis are more than welcome to believe whatever tale or deception Kaitlin Timms has put into play. I, for one, will not be taken for a fool again."

"Dammit, Ezra," Chris said. "She—"

"Hey, Chris!" Billy called, running into the kitchen. "Buck and some lady are here."

Chris held Ezra under his hard glare for a beat. Ezra didn't just have a wall up. He had an entire blockade holding everyone at a distance. He gave a shake of his head and softened his voice for Billy. "Thanks, Billy. You want to knock some sense into Ezra while I go see what buckle bunny Buck brought with this time?"

"What's a buckle bunny?" Billy asked. "Is that like the Easter bunny?"

"Ezra can tell you," Chris said.

#

Kaylee curled up in a corner of the couch, tugging her blanket tighter around her. Chris hadn't answered her text. Not that she had really expected him to. Not with the way she had treated Ezra and lied to the man she loved more than anything.

But there was no way she could drive Ezra's truck back herself. Not just because she wouldn't have any way to get back to Nebraska or because she couldn't afford to take several days off work. Because if she did, if she saw him, she would be too weak to leave. No matter what he said, she wouldn't be able to walk away again.

She burrowed into the fleece blanket, closing her eyes and taking comfort from the soft texture against her cheeks.

She pressed her lips together tightly.

Her phone pinged. Kaylee nearly fell forward off the couch in her eagerness to reach for it. One bare foot landed on the thin carpeting and she picked up her phone.

It was Chris.

You should bring back the truck.

Kaylee furrowed her brow. What was Chris saying? Obviously she knew she should bring the truck back. That's what she was trying to arrange. But she couldn't do it herself.

I can't. She hit send. Then wasn't sure what to say next. Her fingers hovered over the phone screen. I can pay for you to come get it. She knew Chris wasn't a fan of her. He had seen what being around her had done to Vin. Why was he making this so hard?

She stared at her phone. Nothing. She was about to set her phone down when it lit up with another message.

You should come home.

She stared at the words until they blurred in front of her eyes.

The screen door slammed, then the battered wooden door. Kaylee jerked at the sudden noise.

Tammy tripped her way into the house. She crashed against the kitchen table, sending a stack of mail scattering over the floor. Cletus came in behind her.

Kaylee set her phone aside and withdrew into her blanket. She watched Cletus laugh when Tammy stumbled over to a cabinet and bump her head when she opened the door.

"You wanna stay for a drink?" Tammy asked over her shoulder.

"Naw," Cletus said. He turned his back on her and fixed his eyes on Kaylee. "I'm just stoppin' by for my payday."

Kaylee told herself to breathe. She had money set aside for this. She had been expecting Cletus.

Keeping the blanket around her, Kaylee went to her room. She dropped to her knees and reached in the back of her small closet. She pulled one of her boots forward and dug out the small wad of bills.

Returning to the living room, she watched her mom count out her own money and hand some to Cletus in exchange for a small bottle of pills.

Kaylee glared at Cletus. She shoved the money at him and stepped away quickly.

He looked down at the money. "Pretty sorry little stack of money here," he said.

Kaylee clenched her jaw before she gave him an excuse. He knew it was all she had.

"See you next week," Cletus said, pocketing the money. "Unless you and your ma want to party before that."

Kaylee scowled at him. "I don't party." Not the way he did. Not with pills and powder and needles and spoons.

Cletus snorted. "That's right. Tammy's little goody-goody daughter." He turned away from her. "You call when you need more," he said to Tammy.

Tammy was already shaking a couple pills from the bottle, tossing them into her mouth and washing them down with vodka.

Kaylee pulled her blanket around her shoulders as tightly as she could. She gripped the edges of the fleece until her hands ached. She watched Cletus as he ambled toward the door. As he took one last look back at her. She watched until he closed the door behind him. She didn't move until she heard his car start, saw the headlights flash on, watched them fade away along with the sound of the engine.

Only then did she let out her breath.

Tammy was stumbling toward the couch, catching her foot on one of the kitchen chairs and tumbling forward.

Kaylee caught her, letting her blanket fall behind her.

"Come on, Mom," she said softly. "Let's get you to bed."

Tammy mumbled something that Kaylee couldn't understand.

"I'll take care of it," Kaylee said, guessing at a response.

"Thanks," Tammy murmured.

Kaylee helped her mom into her room at the opposite end of the trailer from her own room and got her to the bed. She tried to pull off Tammy's shoes, but Tammy was too fidgety.

"Here you go," she said, taking a blanket from the heap on the floor and draping it over her mom.

"Kaylee?" Tammy asked, squinting at her.

"Yeah, Mom," Kaylee said, finally getting her shoes off and pulling the blanket down over her feet. "I'm here."

#