Thanks to everyone who reads. I just want to say a happy father's day if it's a day that's meaningful to you. And for any of you who struggle today, with the loss of a father, or a father who isn't nice or safe to have in your life, I'm thinking of you.

This story is one I feel really tied to, probably because it was my first Magnificent Seven story (and I thought would be my one and only, ha!). It's gotten much longer than I ever expected and I do have a sequel already planned and started. :) I mentioned in another story that my husband was in the hospital this spring, so wanted to post an update here, in the story I really use as an escape more than any other, ha! Thanks for the well-wishes. My husband was in an accident while training one of our horses and got a TBI. Things are still rough, but writing has been a gift and a refuge (in addition to time of prayer). So thanks to everyone who has supported my stories and my little coping mechanism. :) I appreciate all of you and the time you take to let me know you're reading.

Chapter 52

Kaylee pushed the housekeeping cart down the sidewalk to the room a single lady had just checked out of. There would be two more families checking out today, on their way to see relatives for Christmas tomorrow.

She unlocked the door and pulled the cart into the doorway behind her, propping the door open with it. The cold winter air would feel good while she worked at stripping the bed, vacuuming and scrubbing. Better than in the summer, for sure. The small window AC units were hardly efficient.

Kaylee tugged the heavy bedspread off the double bed, then the sheets.

A quiet knock on the open door distracted her from wrestling the bedding.

Vin was there. "You need a hand?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he came into the room. He took the bundle of bedding from Kaylee and lifted his eyebrows in question.

"The cart," Kaylee said, wishing she didn't sound so winded. The easiest tasks were tiring, stealing her breath from her.

Vin put the used linens in the laundry bag on the cart and reached for clean ones.

Without discussion, he helped Kaylee make the bed. He took the vacuum off the cart next.

When Kaylee moved to get the vacuum from the cart, he took it and lifted it to the floor for her.

"The bathroom need cleanin'?" he asked.

Kaylee wrinkled her nose at him. "You don't work here."

"Maybe I want to go hang some stockings with you. Get out of here and get to celebratin' Christmas," he said.

Celebrating was the last thing Kaylee felt like doing. She wanted to tell Vin that, but then she looked at him. She saw the concern in his eyes behind the easy comment. He knew.

"You want to wipe down the mirror and spray the shower?" Kaylee asked, handing him a spray bottle.

Vin took it and headed toward the bathroom while Kaylee unwrapped the cord and plugged the vacuum in.

She made sure the carpet was thoroughly gone over, glancing toward the small, dated bathroom where Vin worked. She finished and went to help him finish scrubbing out the rest of the bathroom. Vin emptied the trash cans while she mopped the floor.

When she flipped off the lights to the room and started to push the cart through the doorway, Vin gently nudged her aside and took the cart.

Kaylee held the door for him.

"Where now?" Vin asked.

"Vin," Kaylee started, guilt tugging at her. "You didn't come to Nebraska to clean bathrooms."

"No, I came to be with you. See how you are." Vin kept pushing the cart slowly down the sidewalk. "Cleaning bathrooms is just a bonus."

Kaylee didn't smile. She stopped in front of the next room that needed cleaning. "You shouldn't be here cleaning bathrooms," she said, turning to face him.

"You shouldn't be either," he said. "You should be home with…everyone that loves you."

Kaylee shook her head slightly. She opened her mouth to argue, but Vin cut her off.

"Whatever happened between you and Ezra, you shouldn't be here on your own. Expectin' a baby with no one to help you." His eyes flashed and the edge of anger was something she had never heard in his voice before. "Ezra should be here bringin' you home. He's a damn fool."

"He's hurt," Kaylee said quietly. "I lied to him."

"Ok, so tell him the truth," Vin said, his voice gentling. "Tell me the truth. What's goin' on?"

Kaylee wanted to stop trying to keep standing. She wanted to tell Vin how much she owed Cletus. How scared she was of the threat he was. How much she wanted to—to go home. But she couldn't. So she kept the cart between them.

"I have to get these rooms cleaned," she said.

Disappointment pulled at Vin's mouth, but he just nodded and followed after her, waiting for her to unlock the door to the next room.

Kaylee kept her head down, wishing she could change things. But also having a lifetime of experience that wishing changed nothing. She swallowed hard and pulled at the bedding.

Vin worked alongside her again, familiar with the routine now.

"You hear about Buck?" Vin asked, breaking the silence as they adjusted the fitted sheet into place.

Kaylee looked at him, alarmed. "What's wrong with Buck?"

There was a twinkle in Vin's eye again, her stubborn refusal to talk apparently forgiven again. "It ain't so much him as Inez. You remember the waitress from Vegas?"

Kaylee nodded.

"She turned up a few weeks ago."

"She did?" Kaylee gasped. She could imagine Buck's excitement over that. She knew how much he had been pining away for the woman he had met in Vegas. She couldn't hold back the smile that started curving her lips. "What happened?"

"She's carryin' Buck's baby," Vin said.

Kaylee gasped again, her hands clapping over her mouth.

This time Vin chuckled. "Ain't never seen Buck as happy as he's been. Havin' the woman he loves and a baby on the way to boot."

"Buck deserves that," Kaylee said. "He's a good man."

"For the most part," Vin said with a wink. He turned back to making the bed.

Kaylee watched him work. Vin was a good man, too. A good friend. A better friend than she deserved.

Shaking her head to get her thoughts off the maudlin trail they were heading back down, she took a pillow and started shaking it into a pillowcase.

Life was going on back in Colorado. Moving along, everyone getting the happy endings they deserved.

Kaylee tried again to steer her thoughts away from that.

"I haven't planned anything for dinner tonight," she said. "For Christmas Eve. You probably would have got a better meal if you were home." She really wasn't doing a great job pulling herself off this melancholy path.

"Ain't nowhere I'd rather be," Vin said sincerely, looking at her without hesitation.

Kaylee managed a small smile for him and went to get the vacuum. She kept her head down while she worked, the dull ache in her head barely rivaling the sharp pain in her heart.

#

Vin kept glancing toward Kaylee while they worked. It was easy to see she was hurting, the way she was starting to squint like the light was bothering her eyes. Every now and then she'd stop to catch her breath, sometimes with a hand on the furniture or wall like it was holding her up.

He guessed all that worry they had over her health was explained now. He looked at her growing shape, not concealed by the sweatshirt she wore. It only made his anger at Ezra grow. He hadn't just cast aside his wife, he had sent his child away, too. Rationally, Vin knew Ezra didn't know about the baby. But that didn't make it any better for Kaylee.

Ezra needed to know about how Kaylee was living. How she was struggling, and the pregnancy. But he had promised her he wouldn't say a word to Ezra.

And maybe it was for the best. If Ezra was that bullheaded and flat-out stupid that he would shove Kaylee aside and believe whatever lies he told himself about her, he should be alone. Maybe Kaylee was better off without a husband who would so easily believe the worst about her.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew Ezra was hurting just as much as Kaylee was. And he knew how easily Ezra could be convinced to stop trusting. Even beginning to trust someone was a nearly impossible task for the man Vin thought of as a brother. But knowing all that didn't change the way Vin felt right now. Seeing Kaylee like this, struggling and alone, only left room for anger at Ezra. Ezra didn't deserve Kaylee.

Vin tried to shake aside those thoughts. They were uncharitable. But the anger was a small rock in his gut, unmoving. He looked over at Kaylee.

"Hey," he said, dropping the towels he was folding to hang on the towel bar.

She swayed slightly on her feet and Vin got a hand under her elbow. "Sit down," he said softly.

She shook her head like she was set to argue with him, even as he steered her towards the bed and lowered her to sit on the edge of it.

He stayed close to her side. "All those dizzy spells and headaches, they weren't from the car wreck or a concussion."

She winced and looked up at him. "I guess not."

"I can dust and then you need to get home. Or at least off your feet. What time are you off?"

Kaylee glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "Five minutes," she said.

Vin nodded. He wasn't arguing with her about this. Thankfully, she didn't put up much of a fight and Vin wasn't sure that was a good thing.

He hurried through putting the new towels out and swiping every surface with a feather duster, then tossed it on the cart.

"I'll put the cart where it goes and come back for you."

"I'm fine," Kaylee said predictably.

Vin watched and she did look a little steadier. He pushed the cart outside slowly, setting a slow pace.

Kaylee pointed toward the office. She held the door while he brought the cart in and stowed it in the closet she motioned toward.

"Ready?" he asked. He looked for her jacket and pulled it off the back of a chair.

Kaylee straightened the desk and glanced around. She wrote a quick note. "Henny will be here soon. I'll let her know we got the cleaning done."

Vin wondered if she was going to head towards Ezra's truck this time, but she went to his truck.

Vin opened the door, not commenting on leaving Ezra's truck at the motel for another night.

He wondered how many rooms she had cleaned before he got there. He had hurried through the things he had wanted to get done that morning, but she already looked as tired as if she had put in a full day by the time he got back to the motel after a few hours.

He pulled into the drive, the house still and silent in the weak early afternoon sun.

Kaylee got out with a heavy sigh of relief and Vin's anger at Ezra grew. He shoved down the feelings and followed Kaylee toward the trailer.

She climbed the couple steps, then stopped. She looked down. Vin had hoped she wouldn't notice. But she was staring at the new lumber making the stair tread.

She turned too quickly and Vin stepped forward and caught her.

"Did you—?"

Vin cut her off before she could ask. "Come on, it's cold out here."

Kaylee looked at the repaired stair again, but didn't say anything. They got into the house and she stopped again.

"Merry Christmas," Vin said.

Kaylee took a step toward the small tabletop Christmas tree. She brushed a finger against the mini candy canes Vin had bought at the grocery store to hang on the tree. He wondered if it was her first Christmas tree. So much of her life now was an echo of how he grew up—foster homes, the occasional boys' home, one Christmas was spent on the floor of his social worker's office when there wasn't a home willing to take in a kid who was either silent or running away. This trailer was everything Vin remembered about growing up.

She swallowed hard and he could see how much she was hurting. He wanted to ask her why she didn't come home. But he knew what her answer would be.

"I got some food," he said. "I wasn't sure if you had some tradition, but Buck and me always have egg rolls on Christmas Eve."

That got a small smile to emerge. "Egg rolls?"

"There was a year we forgot to get groceries. Chris wasn't home and that's what we found in his freezer."

Her smile grew and her green eyes even sparkled a little.

"There was also some homemade brew from Josiah, but I figured you wouldn't be up for that this year."

She shook her head. "I'm not the best with alcohol."

This time Vin's smile stretched. He thought back to the time they had found her, three sheets to the wind, a brand new tattoo inked on her back, and befriending oversized bikers.

"You swear like a sailor when you drink," he said.

"I…what?" she asked.

"And start getting' cozy with bikers."

"I do not!"

"And get tattoos," Vin added.

"I…ok, yeah," she relented.

Her mood looked considerably lighter and Vin would have done anything just then to keep her looking like that.

"You want egg rolls now, or for supper?" Vin asked. "I can stick them in the oven."

"Now sounds good," Kaylee said. "I'll get them." She went to the fridge and opened it. She froze.

Vin wanted to stop her before she could say anything. "You like Miracle on 34th Street? The old one? I got it when I was in town."

"You got groceries," she said. She turned from the stocked fridge and went to a cabinet. It was also filled. "You didn't have to do this," she said.

Vin shrugged uncomfortably. "Didn't seem right to show up uninvited and expect you to feed me without me bringin' some food." He didn't say that he knew what it was like to have an empty fridge and bare shelves and a paycheck that wouldn't last until the next week.

Kaylee looked doubtful, but then she seemed to believe him. She went back to the fridge and found the package of egg rolls Vin had put in the fridge to thaw. Her eyes flicked to the thermostat on the wall.

"I need to turn the heat down," she said apologetically. "I haven't had a chance to get more propane out here yet."

Vin knew that wasn't the reason she kept the heat low. "They came out today," he said.

The alarm in her eyes told him exactly how little she had in her bank account. "They did?"

"It's taken care of," Vin said.

Kaylee stood in the middle of the small kitchen, arms hanging helplessly at her sides. He could see pride warring with reality on her face. Her face that was drawn, smudges of exhaustion under her eyes, cheekbones more pronounced with the weight she had clearly lost in spite of her pregnancy.

"Thanks," she said, her voice hardly more than a whisper. Any hint of pride was washed away with the defeat that swept over her.

"It's hard gettin' caught up after you been gone awhile," Vin said. He didn't add that she shouldn't be here to begin with.

"Right," she said, sounding like she didn't believe a word she was saying.

"Here," he said, taking the box of egg rolls from her hand. "I'll get these cooking. You choose the movie."

#

Christmas morning.

Ezra wanted nothing to do with the holiday. And certainly nothing to do with the group that would be gathering over at Chris' today.

He fed the last of his bulls, debating climbing into the pen and giving the animal a solid enough poke to annoy it and get kicked in the head. That at least sounded better than Christmas with everyone.

Everyone except the one person he wanted to be with.

Ezra stalked back to the barn and put his feed buckets away with a bang.

He wouldn't think about her. He told himself he didn't want to be with her, not the real her. He wanted to be with the woman he thought Kaylee was. Funny, sensitive, kindhearted, naïve.

Well, they both knew who the naïve one was now. Disgust with his own ability to be conned burned deeply.

Ezra went into the house, holding the door open long enough for the black lab to come inside after him.

He would wash up and change. Putting in an appearance at Chris' was better than giving Nettie an opportunity to come to his home and accost him again.

He went upstairs to the spare bathroom and showered, shaved, combed his hair. Anything to look like he wasn't suffering. Like he didn't miss Kaylee with every fiber of his being.

He didn't miss her, he reminded himself yet again. He missed who he thought she was. But he was better off without her.

A button up shirt and khakis meant he would most likely be better dressed than the other men. But it would also give the appearance he was doing just fine.

Downstairs, Ezra pulled on his jacket and got his keys.

"Come on," he said to the dog.

Barney jumped off the couch and rushed to Ezra, bumping against his legs.

In the truck, Barney hopped up and took the center seat. Ezra tried not to think of all the times the dog had ridden there, between him and Kaylee.

He dragged his hands over his face.

He needed to stop thinking about her.

Starting the truck, he could only hope the commotion at Chris' would be a distraction.

Immediately, he regretted coming.

He was the first one there and Mary greeted him at the door with warm compassion.

"Merry Christmas," she said softly. She put a hand on Ezra's arm and gave him a gentle squeeze.

Ezra handed her the two bottles of wine he had brought.

"Ezra," Mary said, her voice lowering. "I asked around about Kaylee—"

Ezra reflexively tensed, but whatever she had been about to say was cut off by Billy running toward the small entryway.

"Ezra!" he yelled. "Santa came! Buck said the fat man might be too drunk on milk and cookies by the time he was done on the east coast, but he wasn't! Santa came!"

Mary stepped away from Ezra, but her words bounced around in his head.

"We'll talk later," she said.

That was the last thing Ezra wanted. But still…she had news about Kaylee? Ezra stared at her.

"…and he didn't bring me a new saddle, so I thought I wasn't going to get one. But you know what? Chris got me a new saddle!"

Ezra tried to bring his attention to the small boy standing in front of him, jumping slightly with excitement as he told Ezra about his Christmas morning.

"Chris is even better than Santa!"

"Well he's certainly just as jolly," Ezra said drily.

Billy didn't seem to hear. He launched into an explanation about the toy gun he got and how fast it could shoot foam darts.

Ezra let the boy lead him to the living room and show him his Christmas haul.

Mary touched him lightly on the shoulder while Billy was showing Ezra his new board game. Ezra turned and took the glass of wine she offered. It didn't matter that it was before noon. Hearing Kaylee's name had rattled him more than he wanted to admit.

He gulped the wine, hardly the way to treat an expensive vintage, but it at least got his mind on the taste and off his ex wife. Former wife. Wife. Whatever she was to him now.

JD's cheerful voice and Casey's equally youthful exclamations of merry Christmas sounded as the front door opened again.

Billy looked toward the living room doorway, clearly eager to have a new audience. He scrambled to his feet and sprinted out of the room, nearly bowling Josiah over on his way.

Josiah glanced at the wine glass in Ezra's hand, but didn't comment.

"Merry Christmas," Josiah said. But his voice was low with compassion.

Ezra hated being the subject of pity, especially when it was his own stupidity that had got him there. He took a more measured sip of his wine and nodded in acknowledgment of Josiah's greeting.

Seeing Josiah with Kaylee fresh on his mind brought back memories of their wedding. Their sham of a wedding. The start of the con. Or the culmination. She had been conning him for months before that, an entire summer of traveling together while he was drawn in more and more until he had wanted nothing more than to link his life to hers.

"Did you see it coming?" Ezra asked abruptly.

Josiah looked toward him, a slight furrow on his brow.

"You were there," Ezra said, it coming out like an accusation more than a statement. "You performed the damn ceremony. Did you see what she was up to? Any hint?" He needed to know. Had anyone had doubts and he was the only one too blind to see?

"You know better than that," Josiah said, not showing any offense at Ezra's sudden line of attack, but his voice heavy. "I married two good people who I loved and wanted to see happy together."

"And that is where you went wrong," Ezra snapped. He stood, shoulders taut. "The only good person in that room, Mr. Sanchez, was the one misguidedly performing the ceremony."

He shouldn't have come. Even Scrooge had the good sense to hole up at home on Christmas and shut the world out. He was going to get out of there. Go back to the house—the empty house that was no longer any sort of home—and—

A solid hand landed on his shoulder. "Time to eat." Chris' voice brooked no argument.

Ezra took a breath through his nose. Anything to get some semblance of composure.

Ezra took a seat at the far end of the table. A mistake when Chris sat next to him.

Chris grabbed the nearest bottle of wine and topped off Ezra's glass without a word.

Ezra picked up the glass and took a drink. He looked around the table. It was the only time they gathered at Chris' and he put the extra leaves in the table, pulled up extra chairs and they all made the effort to gather around for the holiday meal at the table.

Buck and Inez were opposite Ezra and he managed a tight nod to the happy couple. Inez was glowing and clearly showing her pregnancy now. Something that Ezra could do without staring him in the face today. Today, when he was more aware of how alone he really was and that he wouldn't earn a wife or family like Buck so easily had.

Not that he begrudged Buck his happiness. The lanky cowboy was a good man. He deserved Inez and a baby.

Ezra looked around the table, taking hold of thoughts that were determined to barrel right over a ledge into a dark abyss.

"Where's Mr. Tanner?" he asked.

The jovial conversations around the table quieted.

"You…don't know?" JD asked. Casey kept her eyes fixed on her plate.

"Well I didn't intend the question as a rhetorical one, Mr. Dunne," Ezra said, pretending the sudden silence wasn't awkward, nor unsettling.

No one offered up the information immediately.

"Ezra," Mary finally said gently, leaning forward slightly to meet his eyes from where she sat at the opposite end of the table. "We found out where Kaylee is. Vin went to check on her."

Relief flooded Ezra. They had found her. She was safe. Vin was going to go see her. But almost immediately, anger chased away any trickle of relief. Anger that she was still managing to touch his life somehow. Her name was coming up at Christmas dinner when he was doing all he could to not think about the unredeemable mistake he had made. The unending pain.

"Vin called to say he found her," Mary said. She didn't have to speak loudly to be heard in the silence. "He didn't have much to say, just that he arrived and saw her, and—"

"If Mr. Tanner wants to take his turn being bilked for all he's worth, that's his prerogative," Ezra said, cutting off whatever Mary was about to say because he wanted to hear it too badly.

Buck sighed heavily. "C'mon, Ez. You know Kaylee ain't—"

"The only thing I know," Ezra cut him off, his voice sharp. "Is that there is nothing more to say about the subject." He was dangerously close to losing control, something that he couldn't allow to happen. He picked up his wine glass and took a drink, pretending it didn't hurt to get it down past the knot in his throat.

He was going to drive every one of these people away. And it would be nothing less than he had always expected. What he most likely deserved.

"Well then let's not yammer about it anymore," Nettie said brusquely. "Pass those potatoes down this way."

Ezra risked a look at the older woman. She looked at him evenly, but he saw the glint of a challenge in her eye. Daring him to not take the coward's way out.

Well, madam, he said silently, raising his glass in silent toast to her. You are looking at the biggest coward you will ever meet.

#