Guest, LuvReading, and AngstyTales thank you for your kindness and thanks for reading. My husband is still on the mend and doing better than anyone ever expected. He's made almost a full recovery, which is nothing but a complete miracle. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers. :)

Chapter 53

Kaylee listened to the sounds from the living room. Or the lack of sounds. Vin must still be asleep on the couch.

Having Vin nearby, out on the couch, made the house less lonely. Seeing him, having this time to visit with him, was a balm to her heart. One she didn't deserve, but it soothed the sting of loneliness all the same. Vin and Buck were the best friends she had ever had. But they weren't Ezra. Ezra was the person she missed with every fiber of her being. Missing him hurt so bad, it ached clear through to her bones.

She closed her eyes against the familiar pain.

Today was her first day off in weeks. She had worked Christmas Day. She and Vin, she mentally corrected herself. He had patiently worked alongside her, cleaning the couple rooms that needed it, then joining her in the office where they had played cards until her shift was over. He hadn't pushed her about going home.

Home.

She let out a heavy sigh and rolled over onto her back. She missed the house she had shared with Ezra. Food in the fridge. Warmth from the furnace and the fireplace. But, more than that, she missed Ezra. It wasn't the house that was home. It was him. She would be happy in this trailer if Ezra was here with her.

She closed her eyes. She wished she could still feel his warmth next to her. His hand resting on her while she laid next to him in his bed. Their bed.

The sound of an engine sounded outside, pulling her from bittersweet memories. It didn't pass like vehicles on the highway did.

Oh no.

Kaylee fought against the blankets tangled around her legs, nearly toppling out of the bed. She caught herself before she landed on the ground and freed herself from the blankets.

She stumbled, one foot still caught in the sheet, righted herself and made it out to the living room.

Vin was still asleep on the couch. She hesitated, seeing him sprawled on the couch, his face relaxed with sleep. He stirred, then blinked his eyes open.

"Mornin'," he said blearily, rubbing a hand over his face. He pushed himself up to sitting and Kaylee didn't miss his grimace at the movement. She winced reflexively, knowing it didn't matter if it was his old injuries in his ribs or his knee hurting him. They both were traced back to her.

But his face cleared as quickly as it had pinched in pain and he glanced at his watch. "You slept in some," he said. "Glad you got some rest."

Before she could answer, she heard a car door shut, then footsteps on the stairs outside. She swung around pointlessly placing herself between Vin and the door.

The doorknob rattled as someone fumbled with it, then the door swung open.

Tammy traipsed in, eyes down on her phone.

"Mom," Kaylee started. Her heart squeezed somewhere up in her throat. She didn't want her two lives to intersect. The fantasy she had been living with Ezra, and friends, stability, an extended family was something precious. Something she didn't want to taint, having it dirtied up with becoming part of her actual life, meeting her mom.

"You get the rent paid?" Tammy asked. "It's like Rhodes didn't even care it was Christmas. Texting me warnings about missing a payment or late fees." She looked up at Kaylee, deep lines of annoyance dug into her forehead from reading the landlord's texts.

"Yeah, it's taken care of," Kaylee said. She felt her fingernails dig into her arms and realized she was clutching at her forearms. She tried to relax her grip, but couldn't.

"Thanks, baby," Tammy said. She moved past Kaylee, glancing at her phone again. She stopped. Her hand holding her phone drifted down to her side, the phone forgotten.

"Hi," Tammy said, running her eyes over Vin. One eyebrow lifted ever so slightly in speculation.

Vin stood from the couch and Kaylee knew he would have removed his hat if he had been wearing one. Even standing there in sweatpants and a plain gray t-shirt, he was a sight and Kaylee knew Tammy was taking it all in.

"Ma'am," Vin said nodding to her.

Then recognition lit Tammy's face. She swung around to Kaylee. "Is this him? Your man?"

Kaylee's cheeks burned, but not as hot as the embarrassment scorching through her chest.

Tammy turned back to Vin. "You must be Ezra," she said, holding out a hand to him. "It's real good to meet you. Kaylee's famous rich rodeo husband." She smiled at him.

"Oh, no, ma'am," Vin started.

"Mom, this is Vin," Kaylee said, the words tight being forced past the discomfort building. "Ezra's friend. My friend," she corrected.

"Oh," Tammy said, the gleam in her eyes fading. Her lips pursed slightly as she appraised Vin.

Kaylee shot Vin an apologetic look.

"It's nice to meet Kaylee's mom." He held out his hand, Tammy having forgotten her proffered hand when she had realized Vin wasn't Kaylee's missing husband.

She shook Vin's hand. "Ezra's friend?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," Vin answered.

"Mom," Kaylee whispered under her breath.

"So you're on the rodeo circuit, too? Like Ezra? Making a living at it?"

"Mom," Kaylee hissed.

"It's a steady enough job most days," Vin said. He glanced at Kaylee, his blue eyes understanding.

Kaylee closed her own eyes, wishing she were anywhere else just then. When she opened them, Tammy was still holding Vin's hand.

"So you came all this way to see Kaylee?" Tammy asked. She smiled at Vin, her lined face lightening with the expression. It was sometimes easy to forget Tammy was only sixteen years older than she was.

"I did," Vin said, glancing at Kaylee again.

Tammy's eyebrows lifted speculatively. "And Ezra's not here."

"He wasn't up to the trip just now," Vin said.

The near constant squeeze in her chest was back at the reminder that Ezra wanted nothing to do with her.

Vin gently extracted his hand from her.

"But you made the trip," Tammy said.

"Kaylee's a good friend."

Vin's warm words wrapped around the pain in her chest like a salve.

"And she has you sleeping on the couch?" Tammy asked.

"Mom," Kaylee tried again to deter her mother.

"It's a fair sight better than where I sleep when I'm on the road," Vin said easily.

"Well, have a seat," Tammy said. "You had breakfast yet? We probably have something in the fridge."

Kaylee knew they had plenty in the fridge because of Vin. Something Tammy would have known if she had been home in the last three days.

"I appreciate that, Ma'am," Vin said sincerely, no hint of irony that Tammy was unknowingly offering him food that he had bought. "But I think Kaylee was going to show me around town today." He looked over at Kaylee and she nodded as if they had actually made plans, willing to take the rope Vin was tossing her.

"Maybe we'll have time to get to know each other another time," Vin said.

Tammy was already losing interest. She moved over to the table and pulled out a chair. She reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table and slid the ashtray closer to her.

"Try not to drive this one away," she said, flicking a glance toward Kaylee. Her lips curved slightly at her own humor.

The pain in her chest bled through her entire body.

"You want to go get ready?" Vin asked. He touched her arm lightly, a gentle squeeze as sympathetic as his soft words.

Kaylee nodded stiffly. She went back to her room. She pulled on clean jeans, a sweatshirt that stretched against her stomach and socks. The house had been warm enough last night, she had slept without thick socks on her feet.

She was about to slip her feet into her old boots. She hesitated and went to her closet. The boots Ezra had given her were side by side on the closet floor. A souvenir of the life she almost had.

But, for now, it was as close as she could get to Ezra. She pulled the boots on. Looking at the initials embroidered on the side was too much. She wasn't Kaylee Standish. She wouldn't ever be.

Drawing a shaky breath, she fought against the urge to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over her head. She would get through today, then she could hide under the blankets until tomorrow. And she wouldn't think about tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the endless days stretched out in front of her.

She grabbed a stocking cap rather than brushing her hair. Her usual morning routine at this point.

Vin was waiting patiently in the living room when she emerged.

He put a hand on the small of her back and got her to the door before Tammy could make any more comments, grabbing her jacket on the way.

His truck was already running. Kaylee figured him going outside to warm it up had more to do with getting them out of there quickly than the need for the heat. She glanced over at Vin. He didn't look rattled by meeting her mom. He drove with one hand on the wheel, relaxed back in the driver's seat. He could have just as easily been driving them between rodeos like he had over the summer when she wasn't with Ezra.

Kaylee tried to figure out what to say to him. They were pulling into the parking lot of a diner—the only restaurant in town—when she finally just blurted out the only thing she could think of.

"Sorry," she said abruptly, "about that." she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

He looked over at her in question.

"About my mom. Her thinking you were…" Kaylee bit her lips together. She couldn't say Ezra's name right now. Not when her emotions were fraying.

Vin shook his head as he pulled into a parking space and put the truck in park. "Makes sense she'd think that. He should be here gettin' you." That unfamiliar edge of anger was back in his voice, like the last time Ezra's name had come up.

"It's not his fault," Kaylee said, wrapping her arms more tightly around herself. She would give anything to change what had happened between her and Ezra. But she couldn't think of one thing she could actually have done differently that would have made things end differently. She owed money to Cletus and there was no way she could have told Ezra that and protected him.

"It's all his fault," Vin said sharply. "All he had to do was love you and take care of you like you deserve." His words sounded harsher in the silence without the truck running. His blue eyes met hers directly.

All his declaration did was bend her shoulders farther under the reality that clashed with what he said so certainly. "I have exactly what I deserve," she said bluntly.

Vin shook his head firmly. "You don't deserve a husband who quits on you. Who tosses you out when you need him most."

Kaylee flinched, more at his suppressed fury towards Ezra than at his words. He wasn't saying anything she didn't already know and relive a hundred times a day.

"Kaylee," Vin said, something like exasperation mixing with compassion and gentling his words, the anger gone. "You're havin' a baby. You shouldn't be on your own here. Not livin' in a house with no heat and no food."

Kaylee started to shake her head, ready to argue with Vin's dismal summary of the situation, but then his hand was on her cheek, stilling the movement with a soft touch.

She avoided his eyes.

His hand, rough from work, was warm on her cheek. It brought back memories of Ezra resting his hand against her cheek. Ezra would look down at her, and she would savor the feel of his hand on her face, his warmth near her. She would look up at him and tilt her head into his hand. Everything in her wished desperately for it to be Ezra's hand on her skin now.

Vin's thumb grazed her cheek with a light movement.

Kaylee opened her eyes. This was Vin, not Ezra. It would never be Ezra again. She pulled away from Vin.

"You're a good friend, Vin," she mumbled through numb lips. She fumbled with her seatbelt and undid it with a click. Vin was a better friend than she deserved. She opened the truck door, barely feeling the blast of cold winter air that struck her.

#

Vin's hand was empty when Kaylee pulled away. Her face drawn with grief and loss. Grief and loss that came from Ezra's stupidity. And Kaylee was blaming herself, instead of Ezra.

Vin tamped down the flood of emotions that threatened with thoughts of what Ezra had done and the look of stark loneliness that had crossed Kaylee's face. He opened his door and went around to Kaylee's side of the truck. He would do anything to take away her pain. Pain she didn't deserve.

He shoved down every bit of his own emotion that threatened to make him put his own wants in front of Kaylee's and strove to keep his voice neutral. Nice and easy.

"This place any good?" Vin asked.

She looked ready to wilt from relief that he wasn't pushing the subject of Ezra. "As long as you don't order the seafood." She slanted him a look and tried for a smile.

Vin matched her smile. "I ain't dumb enough to go orderin' seafood in Nebraska."

Kaylee's small smile relaxed some of the edges of tension away. Vin held the door for her. She went into the small storefront diner and stopped so abruptly that Vin nearly crashed into her.

Vin looked down at her. She was tense, her face frozen. He looked over the small diner, trying to see what she saw. There were a few elderly couples at the tables drinking coffee. A booth with a young family, the little girl coloring on a paper menu. A lone guy in a booth paying his bill. A couple of waitresses.

Kaylee took a step back and did bump against Vin. Vin didn't back up with her, willing to be a secure presence for whatever had her spooked while he searched for what he was missing.

The man in the booth settled his bill and slid out of the bench seat. His dark eyes landed on Kaylee from across the diner and Vin felt every muscle in her body tighten. The man's gait was loose and easy as he came their way. He flicked his eyes over Vin, assessing. Whatever he saw had him keep moving.

"Kaylee," he greeted her on his way past.

"Cletus," she whispered back.

The man tipped his ball cap at Vin and kept going, the bell over the door jingling as he left.

Kaylee didn't move.

"Kaylee?" Vin asked.

She jolted, and started hurrying toward a booth. Vin wondered if she was trying to speed past the moment—whatever that moment had been—and move him beyond commenting on it. Vin wasn't about to push. Not after what had just happened in the truck.

He took the menu the waitress handed him and asked for a coffee. He pretended not to notice the slight shaking of Kaylee's hands.

"You ever had Chris' pancakes?" Vin asked, wanting to help her get her bearings back.

Kaylee shook her head shortly.

"Softest, fluffiest pancakes you'll ever have," Vin said. "Buck says it's 'cause Chris makes them with love."

Kaylee's green eyes looked at him. He saw them soften at the mention of Buck. "Soft and fluffy?" she asked, apparently trying to play along with him that nothing was wrong.

"Just like the man making' 'em," Vin said.

That coaxed a smile from her. "Has Chris ever hit you or Buck?" she asked.

"A time or two," Vin smiled back. "Buck always deserved it more than me."

Kaylee's smile grew. "I'd believe that." She looked up at the waitress bringing Vin's coffee and her water. She thanked her, then turned her attention back to Vin. "Tell me about Buck and his waitress," she said.

Seeing her smile and actually show some interest in something was all the encouragement Vin needed. He folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, telling her all about Buck's continued efforts to win Inez over.

#

Chris looked at the small box in his hand. He flipped the lid open. Stared at the contents.

He had bought the ring without any intention of actually giving it to Mary. At least, no intention at the time he bought it. He had just thought he might get to the point he'd want to give it to her. Eventually make things more permanent.

Then he had spent yesterday seeing Ezra barely holding it together at Christmas dinner. Ezra's clenched fists. Tossing back whiskey, just to get through being surrounded by the happy couples around him. And Chris had known how easily it could be him, if he lost Mary. When Mary and Billy had gone home last night, Chris had been alone in his silent house. That's when he had gone to his dresser and dug the ring box out from under his t-shirts in his dresser.

He didn't have to be rattling around this house alone. There wasn't any reason for Mary and Billy to not be here.

Chris shoved the velvet box into his pocket and strode toward the door. He barely remembered to grab his jacket on the way out the door, jamming his hat on his head and picking up his truck keys on his way.

His truck started with a roar and he headed toward town.

Mary lived in a tidy home on the outskirts of the small town. In the summer there were flowers in the beds, thanks to Orrin's wife tending them while Orrin and Mary managed the rodeo productions on the road. Now there were Christmas lights strung along the eaves.

Chris parked his truck and got out. His stride was determined when he went up to the small porch, holding a swing and decorative snowman statue.

The door opened before he could knock.

"Chris?" Mary asked. Her smooth brow furrowed in question. "I wasn't expecting you." She stepped back to allow him into the house. Chris didn't move.

Chris had thought when—if—the time came, his heart would pound, his palms would be damp. But he felt steadier than before he climbed into a chute with an ornery bull.

"There ain't any reason for you and Billy to be living here," he stated.

Mary's brows rose. "There's not?" she asked.

"Not when you both belong at my house. With me." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, handing it over to her. "You belong with me."

Mary didn't have much choice but to take the box when he shoved it at her and all but slapped it in her palm. She stared down at it. She moved so slowly Chris wanted to prod her along. They had waited long enough. There was no point in dragging this out any longer.

She opened the box, a gold band with a square cut diamond glinting there. She stared at it for a long moment, then looked up at Chris.

Chris looked down at her evenly. "I don't want to be without you. Not for another day, another night. You tell me how long you need to plan the wedding you want and then we'll get married."

"We will?" Mary asked, a slight challenge in her voice at the declarations Chris was making without any room for question.

Chris looked at her face. So familiar, but nothing he'd ever get tired of. She was smart, business savvy, kind, loving, classy, down to earth. She was the woman he loved. "I want us to be a family. You and me and Billy. Will you marry me?"

Mary moved then. Into his arms, against his lips.

"Yes," she whispered against his mouth. "Yes, I'll marry you."

#