Thanks so much for reading! I'm going to focus on this story, another M7 story (It Ain't My Fault), and my Avengers story (Exile) for the foreseeable future. I feel like I'd rather try to be more consistent with updating a few stories and finish them, then start updating another handful of stories, rather than infrequent updates for every story right now. :) I may still do an occasional update with the other stories, so feel free to favorite or follow to get a notification when one is updated. And as always, thanks so much for your support and for reading any of my fics!

Chapter 54

Buck watched Inez, head bent over her jewelry, mocha colored hair falling forward around her pretty face. She had brought her jewelry to town and it had sold better than Inez had expected. She was making more bracelets, rings, all sorts of little doo-dads to resupply the store. Apparently Nettie had put some fool idea in her head and now Inez thought she might even be able to get her own place before too long.

Inez hummed under her breath as she took a small jewel between her tweezers and carefully positioned it where she wanted it on a ring.

"You want to go to town, catch a movie?" Buck asked.

Inez glanced up at him. A small smile had been playing around her lips while she worked. Her face was relaxed, even as she shot him down. "I need to get finish these pieces. Ryan said he has a few people asking for them already."

Buck nodded like that was completely understandable. Reasonable, even. He shuffled around the living room.

"You want to watch a movie here?" he asked, picking up the remote.

Inez kept her eyes trained on the detailed work she was doing. "You can go ahead and watch something."

Buck pursed his lips. He tossed the remote back down on the couch.

"I could read you a book while you work," he said, his eyes landing on the bookshelf that held mostly westerns and a more than a few horse training books. A couple beginner's books for learning Spanish he had added shortly after Inez's arrival, figuring maybe Inez would want to teach their kid her native tongue and Buck wasn't about to be left out on that.

"Whatever you'd like, Buck," Inez said distractedly, leaning closer to what she was working on.

Buck watched her. She was purely the prettiest woman he'd ever laid eyes on. That had been true in Vegas the first time he saw her. But these past weeks, watching her around his house, resting a hand on her—their—growing baby in her belly when she felt a kick, contentedly humming under her breath while she made her jewelry, laughing at Buck when she splashed him with dishwater…Buck had never known a woman like her.

And she was bound and determined to leave him.

She had assured him he'd be welcome in their baby's life no matter what. Even invited him along to her prenatal appointment. But she had her mind set on making her own way, no matter what Buck said. And that meant she wasn't going to be under his roof forever. And their baby never would be.

That threat almost made Buck choke.

He headed for the door. He needed air. He needed advice.

"Buck?" Inez asked, looking up from her work again, the soft smile fading and her brows knitting.

"Gonna run over to Chris'," Buck said. He even managed a smile. Like he wasn't dreading the day she found her own place and left him alone.

He could feel Inez' eyes on his back as he went out the door. The cold air was nothing compared to the icy threat of being alone.

Buck strode across the yard. He made it to Chris' and pounded on the door.

He paused, listening for a response. He pounded again.

He was lifting his fist to pound another time when the door swung open.

Chris stood there, his eyebrow cocked. "Did you need something, Buck?"

"Of course I do! Why do you think I'm knockin' on your door?"

Chris stepped back, an unspoken invitation to Buck.

Buck came into the house.

He remembered when Chris' boy had been alive. And then the way the house had rung with silence. A silence so loud it near to deafened Buck in those days after Chris lost his wife and son. And that's why he was here. Because he was already seeing the cold set in and he couldn't go back to that icy, numb place he had mourned in with Chris. Sitting in an empty house with no way to reclaim what was permanently gone.

"Inez was humming, Chris," Buck said. He shook his shoulders to dislodge the memories, pacing across the kitchen. "Humming!"

Buck could still hear the quiet music now. A contented song she sang to herself while she worked on that jewelry she made.

"Not sure I see the problem," Chris said. "Her singin' that bad?"

"Of course it ain't!" Buck retorted, scandalized that Chris would even suggest such a thing. "She has a voice of an angel." And that was the whole problem.

"I'm not following," Chris said. He didn't sound like he was too concerned about his lack of understanding.

Buck paced back across the kitchen, so agitated it only took a few strides. He tried to gather the tumbling thoughts that had suddenly crashed in on him when he saw Inez at his kitchen table, serenely working on making her jewelry and baubles, humming to herself.

"I can't do it, Chris," Buck said. "I can't just let her up and go. Take our baby somewhere that ain't my house." His throat threatened to close up. "I can't have a—a quiet house. Not after seein' how it is with Inez there."

His oldest friend's eyes lit with understanding. The hard planes of his face softened slightly. "Would be mighty hard to have your kid—and woman—livin' away from you."

"You bet it would be!" Buck exploded. "I got to get her to plant herself where she belongs!" Buck fisted his hands on his hips and strode across the kitchen another time. He shook his head. "I just gotta get her to stay put. If she would just give me a chance, Larabee, I know she would see she belongs with me!"

"She probably would. It's just goin' to take—"

"Exactly!" Buck burst out. His friend was making perfect sense. "It's just goin' to take her staying put! If I can get her to just stay planted, it'll all work out! Just like it did for Ezra and Kaylee. I was the one who got them hitched, after all."

"I think it was Josiah," Chris said drily.

"Yeah," Buck said, waving a hand dismissively in the air. "He got them through the vows and all that. But I was the one who got them to the altar." He nodded to himself. And he had done that easily enough. Stuck Ezra in the camper, shoved Kaylee in there with him and waited for them to come to their senses. "I need to lock her in," Buck declared. "Thanks, Chris. You're a pal."

He had known Chris would understand. Chris would help him sort out his tangled mess with Inez. The relief that flowed through him made him nearly giddy.

"Stop it."

Buck halted at the door as Chris blocked his exit.

"You're not lockin' that woman in your house, Buck," Chris said.

Buck snorted. "I ain't gonna hold her hostage." He shook his head. "I'm just gonna hole up with her and make sure she doesn't leave until she sees we belong together," he said reasonably.

Chris' hand clapped down solidly on his shoulder. "I like Inez too much to let you blow this up, pal."

"What? No. I ain't gonna—"

"Listen to me," Chris said, cutting off the tumult of thoughts that were starting to fill Buck's mind at the thought of anything short of winning Inez over. "If you try to make that lady do anything that's not her own idea, she's going to be out the door."

That made sense. Buck nodded slightly.

"What you're going to do is go home and show her exactly how you feel." Chris met Buck's eyes. "Without suffocating her."

Buck nodded again, slowly. "Don't suffocate her," he said to himself.

"Meanin' you don't do anything stupid to scare her off," Chris summarized.

Buck liked the sound of Chris' plan. Just go easy on Inez. Chris made it sound like the natural next step was Inez realizing she didn't want to leave. And that was all Buck really wanted.

"I can't promise I won't do somethin' stupid," Buck said wryly. "But I won't scare her off."

Chris gave a singular nod of approval.

"Thanks," Buck said.

"Anytime."

Leaving Chris behind him, Buck went back outside. The snow in Chris' yard was trampled, Billy-sized boot prints all over and a family of snowmen wearing mismatched scarves under a tree.

Larabee might have lost everything, but he had found something precious again. Something he deserved. Buck hoped his own story would end with him getting the girl.

#

Ezra tossed his poker chips into the middle of the table. A couple slid past the pile, but stopped before reaching his opponents' hands.

"Raise," Ezra said, keeping his hand of cards face down on the table. He had a decent hand. Not as good as how much he was betting, but he didn't really care.

The other men at the table folded, except for the shrewd eyed man directly across from Ezra. He matched Ezra's bet. "Call."

Ezra took his time flipping his cards over to display, not really caring how they compared to his opponents'. He had won.

There was no thrill in the game anymore. No excitement or desire to win. He didn't deserve to win. Playing the game was nothing more than a ruthless attempt to convince himself he actually could read people, spot their tells. He wasn't an easy mark.

One by one, the other players called it a night. When the last man had gathered his chips to cash out, Ezra finally looked at his winnings scattered across the table. Denver wasn't exactly a hot bed of high stakes poker games, but he had won several thousand.

Unbidden, Kaylee's face came to mind. Her sea green eyes looking at him over a hand of cards, every single thought flitting across her face clearly. She would narrow her eyes and study him and somehow manage to read his own thoughts.

He missed her. The thought came before he could stop it. But the truth of that painful reality took hold and burrowed through him. He dropped his head into his hands, every breath searing with remembered moments that had been nothing but a lie. He had finally, reluctantly, trusted his heart—every part of him—to someone and it had been nothing but a con.

The memories started to come in earnest then. Kaylee looking for him at the edge of the arena, her eyes alive after a good run. Her hand reaching for his when they walked back to the trailer. Her lips pressed together to hold back laughter when her dog jumped on him, leaving muddy paw prints on his jeans. Fresh from the shower, her hair hanging over her shoulders and pulling on a pair of pajamas, before cuddling up against his side in front of the fire.

He wheezed through the tightening in his chest. He fought for air. Fought to think of anything besides what he had lost.

His hands tightened, pulling at his hair. He couldn't go home. Not to that empty house. Not without her there.

He squeezed his eyes, willing the memories to go, wanting to see anything but her.

He couldn't do this.

He slid his chair back with a scrape. He had to get out of here. Away from the memories. Somewhere he wouldn't be taken for a fool.

Maude.

She would make sure he wasn't given any grace he didn't deserve. Rehash old lessons he apparently had forgotten and allowed Kaylee to take him for a ride. Remind him of what he was. Then maybe this pain would stop.

Ezra gathered his chips with numb fingers. His breathing was harsh and he fought to appear normal.

He cashed out, sticking the bills in his wallet. He had his phone out, looking for a last minute flight out of Denver. It wouldn't be hard to find a flight to Phoenix. There were several flights daily. He glanced at the time. And, being well after midnight, a new day was just beginning.

Ticket secured, he texted Buck and informed him he would be gone. He said for a few days, but that was more to keep from alarming anyone than due to any sort of actual plan.

He went out to his truck. He would get to the airport several hours early. There wasn't anything keeping him in Denver at this point. Nothing for him in Colorado at all.

#

"Can I ask you somethin'?"

Kaylee tensed. After Vin had met her mom yesterday, and seeing how she lived, she could only imagine any number of questions he had.

"Sure," she said quietly. Vin had been by her side for a week now. He deserved answers to anything he wanted to know. She braced herself, seated in the passenger seat of his truck, for whatever he was going to ask.

"Alcott," Vin started. "How'd you come to get her?"

A question about her horse wasn't what she expected. But she could understand his curiosity. There were lots of barrel racers who didn't even own their own horses. They just jockeyed for the owners. And Alcott was worth tens of thousands of dollars. Something that wouldn't make any sense after seeing where she was from.

"Ms. Trebaun," Kaylee said. The sharp pain of loss twisted in her chest. "She gave me my first job. She kind of…I think she knew my mom and I needed money." An understatement. The older lady with the windburned, lined face had seen twelve year old Kaylee in the grocery store, trying to buy $25 worth of groceries with only a $20 bill to her name. "She gave me a job cleaning stalls. Then taught me how to ride and had me start exercising her futurity horses." Kaylee remembered the feeling of success when she first was put in charge of three of the mounts, making sure they were fed, watered, and exercised daily. For a kid who struggled in school and wasn't in any after school clubs or sports, it was a foreign feeling.

"Sounds like she's a real good lady," Vin said.

Again the pain at remembering. "She was," Kaylee said quietly. "She died last year. Her heart." Her throat thickened with loss. Losing Ms. Trebaun had been no small factor in her finally cutting ties with Nebraska. With Cletus and his friends looking for her, and no friends left in Nebraska, she had moved out to the western rodeo circuit. And met Ezra.

"I'm sorry," Vin said.

Kaylee looked out the window, the snow endless over the plains around them. It had been a long enough day at work, even with Vin working alongside, her that she was struggling to keep herself from slumping against the door.

"She gave you Alcott?" Vin asked.

"I bought her," Kaylee said, rousing herself. "She's out of Streak of Lightning."

Vin's eyebrows raised, even though he kept his eyes on the road. He obviously recognized the stallion that had sired impressive barrel racing horses and several roping horses.

"She was born lame. The vet wasn't sure if it was something she was born with or an injury at birth. Ms. Trebaun couldn't even use her for breeding stock if it was something she was born with. So she sold her to me for a few hundred dollars."

Vin glanced at her, humor glinting in his eyes. "You mean that horse that went to Nationals cost you a few hundred bucks?"

The humor in his eyes warmed her. Maybe she would have energy left to eat supper once they got home. "And time," she said. "I massaged her leg. Tried every ointment the vet had. Ms. Trebaun showed me how to wrap it and exercise it." She trailed off, thinking of all the time she had spent over at Trebaun's Performance Horses. "She gave me everything I have." Everything. Everything she had was because of the no nonsense older woman giving her that job cleaning out stalls. Alcott. Barrel racing. Ezra.

Everything she had lost.

Her eyes burned trying to hold tears back. She quickly wiped at them. Tears were for people who deserved to be sad. Not for someone who lied and stole and lost everything because of her own choices.

"Kaylee," Vin started, his voice gentle.

"I'm fine," she cut him off. She tried to clear the thickness from her throat. "Fine." She scrubbed the tears away more firmly, trying to shore up some sort of strength. Strength she didn't have anymore.

"You don't have to—"

"Don't," she said under her breath, struggling to contain the emotions, the guilt and still speak. "Please, don't."

Vin was silent as he pulled his truck up to the house. "Ok," he agreed quietly, but his misgivings were loud.

Kaylee glanced at Tammy's car in the drive. She needed to shove down the feelings the memories stirred so she could muscle through another evening pretending everything was fine.

She at least had the tears pushed back as she got out of the truck. Vin was at her side, near but not touching her. A solid presence.

Kaylee couldn't even get a steadying breath in. Not past the pain squeezing at her throat. She made it up the path that Vin had gotten up too early and shoveled that morning and opened the door, Vin following her in. She just needed to get through the last bit of this day and then she could finally lay down and let the exhaustion overtake her.

Tammy was half passed out on the couch. The smell hit Kaylee first, and then she saw the vomit. A half empty bottle of pills and two bottles of beer told Kaylee exactly what she needed to know.

"Oh, Mom," she sighed, heaviness weighing her words and shoulders down. She couldn't do this. Not again.

Tammy stirred and looked at Kaylee through bleary eyes.

Kaylee forced herself to start toward her, mentally preparing for an evening different than what she had planned for. Worse in every way.

"Mom," Kaylee said. She picked her way past the mess on the floor. "Mom," she said again.

Tammy opened her eyes again. "Kaylee," she groaned. Then leaned over the edge of the couch and retched.

Kaylee stepped back enough to avoid what her mom threw up.

"She ok?" Vin asked.

Kaylee tensed at Vin's voice. She closed her eyes briefly. She kept her eyes on Tammy and moved back to her side. "You should…if you want…you…there are rooms at the motel," she finally managed to say. Shame burned hotter than the grief had earlier. She wanted Vin out of there. Away from what he was seeing.

"I'll get some towels," Vin said

Kaylee started to tell him he shouldn't, but he was already moving toward the small bathroom and the linen cupboard there. She watched him go, moving like he hadn't walked in on a disgusting smell and sight. No backwards glances of judgment.

"I think I was sick," Tammy said, drawing Kaylee's attention back to her.

"Yeah," Kaylee said. "You were." She went over to her mom and helped her sit up. The vomit was in Tammy's hair and down the front of her shirt. "Come on. Let's get you washed up." She helped her mom to stand, unsteady on her feet and leaning heavily against Kaylee.

They passed Vin as they went to the bathroom. He had laid out a couple of frayed towels and washcloths on the edge of the tub, a small stack of towels in his hands as he headed for the living room.

Kaylee closed the door behind them. She helped her mom out of her shirt, her own stomach roiling when her mom's dank hair brushed her hands. She fought the urge to gag as she helped her mom sit in the tub and started the water.

"Start washing your hair, Mom. I'll be back."

Tammy was groggy enough Kaylee didn't know if she would or if Kaylee would be washing her hair for her when she got back, but she hoped her mom would at least try.

She went back out to the living room to find Vin with an old bucket from under the sink and his stack of towels, scrubbing the mess from the couch and carpet.

"I can do that," Kaylee said.

Vin kept at his task, almost finished already. "It's taken care of."

Kaylee took the used towels and carried them to the washing machine, stacked under the dryer in a corner of the kitchen. Vin finished up and tossed the last of the towels in after hers. He carried the bucket outside to empty it.

Kaylee was still in the kitchen when he came back in. She focused on scrubbing her hands clean. She could hear the shower turn on in the bathroom, but the relief at her mom cleaning herself up was dulled under the embarrassment of everything Vin had seen since coming to find her.

"I'm sorry about that," she said. She finally moved from the sink. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter behind her, as if she could squeeze the shame from herself with the action.

"Ain't nothin' I haven't seen before," Vin said, setting the bucket in the sink. He started to wash his hands. "I had a foster mom when I was thirteen. She couldn't drink without gettin' sick."

Kaylee couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. "You shouldn't have come here," she finally said. Her fingers tightened on the counter.

"I'm right where I should be," he said.

Kaylee looked up then. Vin's eyes were steady. She didn't understand the emotion in them. Whatever it was, she didn't deserve his loyalty.

"I'm gonna go pick up some supper. Get somethin' that might settle your ma's stomach. You have anything you want?"

Kaylee shook her head, sure she wouldn't be able to choke down anything. Vin's brows lowered in concern.

"How about some of that alfredo stuff the diner had? It looked good."

"Vin—" Kaylee tried again.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," Vin said. And the look she couldn't understand was back in his eyes.

From the bathroom Tammy's voice sounded. "Kaylee? You out there, hon?"

She wasn't going to convince Vin. She needed to see what Tammy needed. Finding it harder and harder to keep her spine straight under the pressure, Kaylee turned and went towards the bathroom.

She heard the front door open and close. Heard Vin's truck start. She knew eventually he'd start his truck and be heading back to Four Corners. He'd go back to Buck and JD and Chris and Josiah and Nathan and Casey. And Ezra. And she'd still be right here where she really belonged.

"Kaylee?" Tammy called again. "I'm goin' to be sick again."

Kaylee pushed open the bathroom door. "I'm coming, Mom."

#