Trace hadn't seen Barret all day. Keith hadn't seen Barret all day. In fact no one had seen him all day except Kathrine, who just said they had a lovely conversation over coffee this morning. It wasn't unusual for him just vanish, or anyone for that matter in a house this large, but he hadn't come down for breakfast or lunch. Sure, there were summoning rings all over the house, but it still seemed strange. Trace and Flora wandered the halls, looking for him that afternoon, and everyone else helped when they had the chance. But, to their surprise, they couldn't find him. Eventually, their search led them to the back of the building, to the stairs that went up. To the third floor.

Trace and Flora slowly walked up the stairs. It was like they could feel the past staring at them. This was where they fought Detritus. This was where they learned Rose's true Fate. This was where Trace sacrificed Saria, let her go, and chose Flora. This was where they had been hoping to avoid, because this was also where Trace had accepted that he really was going to be a father. And it was where they had hoped they would someday raise their child.

Not much had changed. The floors had been swept and the windows cleaned in the hallway. Flora looked into some of the rooms, and gasped as she saw the old bedroom, where the crib rested. "Trace, I don't like this. We should get someone else to look up here." she clutched Trace very tightly.

"We're going to have to deal with this eventually. It is our house, after all."

"I suppose… it just… it's hard. Everything up here reminds me that I failed. Last time I was up here, I was ready to have a kit, ready to be a mother, I was ready to be married to you, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I still am, but it's just…"

"I know how you feel. We nearly died up here because of me. A literal demon of my past. Thankfully, this time we know there's nothing else up here ready to jump out at us." Soft footsteps behind them caused them to turn. Eric and Kathrine had followed them up.

"Oh. Sorry, we haven't done much up here. It's… not easy for any of us." Eric said, sighing. "You almost expect the very air to be stolen from your lungs or your soul to be snatched from your body."

"Yeah… that's entirely my fault. Well, past me's fault. It won't happen again. I hope." The four of them walked across the whole floor, eventually ending up in the greenhouse, where truly nothing had changed. The remains of Stoney still lay where they had fallen, the glass was still stained with black ooze, and the crystal where Maren had nearly lost her soul remained shattered in place. Trace walked over to the stone guardian, and sighed.

"I was wondering" Eric said slowly "do you want us to clean up in here? I don't like the idea of spending too much time here, but this would be a nice place to have a garden. It is a greenhouse after all, that's it's purpose."

"No. I'll do it myself. I won't have anyone clean up my mistakes. I'll deal with it." Trace looked around at the wreckage. He walked over to a flowerbed that was covered in muck and debris, and began clearing it. "You're right. A garden up here would be nice. Rose would like it." Flora walked over and leaned down to help him. Eric and Kat didn't have to help, but they did anyways, and slowly the ruins were cleared. Trace told them to leave Stoney where he was, as he had an idea for it, but the rest of the afternoon passed in relative quiet.

The rest of the building was likewise calm. Keith had spent the day catching up with Lynn and Madelyn, learning everything they had found out while in Valinos, Natani and Zen chased down Karen after she stole Natani's mana earrings. Somehow she was able to outrun the assassin brothers for almost an hour before they finally pinned her. Sythe was enjoying his room and bed just a bit too much, and didn't get up until well after noon. Maren was trying to spend as little time inside as she could, trying to avoid Trace, but also wanting to find him and talk to him.

Haelith wandered the halls, taking everything in. This was the house of the Grand Templar, after all. Pictures of his past lined the walls, depicting various scenes and landscapes, from the islands of the south and the plains to the northeast, to people in armor. But what caught her off guard was how many portraits he had of a white wolf with red hair, who looked far to much like… "Raine?"

"No." Raine's voice came from the far end of the hall. "Her name was Roselyn. She was the caretaker of the building before she passed away."

"Oh. She looks a lot like you. At least, like the wolf half of you."

"She was… I think technically my first cousin… once removed? But she was like an aunt to me." Raine looked at the painting. "She was the one who tried to teach me how to control my shapeshifting. She told me that it would have been natural if I had grown into it like my father had, but because I didn't grow up with it, it would be very difficult to learn. She's the one who helped me realize that this wasn't entirely a curse. I was going to learn magic from her. And then, just as soon as I finally had someone who was willing to help me, she was gone. Actually, she had been gone for a while, she just was freed to move on."

"And… have you kept up with what she taught you?"

"She didn't really teach me anything. She was going to though."

"Well, why don't you try right now? If she believed you could master your power, then surely she was right. You should try."

Raine turned away. "No. It's not that simple. I have been trying, every day for weeks. No matter how much I try, I can't control it to shift back to human."

"But you shifted to wolf when we first met. How is this so different?"

"It just is. I spent so long as a human, and then suddenly was forced to spend time as a wolf. Going back and forth is difficult, and I think that I'm more comfortable like this. It feels like I'm accepting myself more. The longer I spend as a wolf, the more 'me' I feel like."

"Why do they have to be different?"

"What do you mean?" The two walked through the hall now, toward a balcony that overlooked the back patio.

"Well, you have said before that for a long time, you felt incomplete. So why do the two halves have to be separate? Richard told me about how you had partially shifted a few times, and how you were so worried that you wouldn't be able to fully shift one way or the other again. So, why not try something different? Instead of fully shifting, why not try for a partial transformation?"

Raine stepped away from her. "You don't know what you're suggesting! As a human I fit in with humans, and as a wolf I at least fit in with other Keidran, but somewhere in the middle? No! I never want to do that again." She turned away and looked at the setting sun. "I would rather spend my life as one or the other, not some monster stuck in between."

"I'm sorry." Haelith joined her in watching the sun. "I can't begin to imagine what this must be like. I don't know why you would listen to me anyways, I can't even use magic."

"You can't?"

"No. And I could never figure out why. I've tried using mana crystals like Keidrans, drawing it from the environment like humans, but nothing has ever worked."

"That's because you never learned how." came a voice behind them. Barret walked over and joined them next to the railing. "Ishtaer are different. We draw our magic from within ourselves. It's… hard to explain."

"Oh yeah, you used magic a few times while you traveled, maybe you could-"

"Those were different." Barret cut off Raine. "I tapped into my magic without thinking, I caused wild surges. It's worked out so far, but I haven't been able to tap into my own wellspring. I've been thinking about it all day, trying to figure it out, understand what caused my magic to spark up, but… nothing. I can't figure out how to light the spark willingly."

Haelith put her hand on his shoulder. "You can learn with me then. We can figure it out together."

Barret smiled. "I'd like that." Then, his smile faded quickly. "Actually, I've been thinking for a few days. I can't figure out how to tap into my power. I've felt it before, and it's terrifying. I killed someone last time I tapped into it. I think it's time for me to leave."

"Leave?" Raine asked. "Leave and go where?"

"I've been thinking about that all day. Probably I would head to the North Wastes. There aren't any major or even minor cities up there, nothing but wild tundra and hills that stretches on to the horizon east and west, and to the snow and ice to the north. If there was a place to get lost and not be found, that's where I would go. If there's other Ishtaer out there who can teach me, then that's where I'll start looking."

"Where we will start looking." Haelith corrected him, before turning away and blushing. "If… if you'd like."

Barret smiled. "I… I would like that. But you know that we aren't going to be staying anywhere nice. It's going to be a two month trip at least to get up there, and then we have to actually find other Ishtaer in one of the most hostile environments on the continent. It won't be an easy trip by any means."

"I know. When would we leave?"

"I don't know. It will take some time to get the necessary provisions. I might even pack a tent."

"You don't have a tent?"

"Nah, never have. When you have to travel light, a tent only slows you down. Heck, usually I don't even sleep on the ground, I'm much more comfortable hanging a net from a tree and sleeping up there. It's safer that way too, almost no one bothers to look up."

"How long would you be gone?" Raine piped up.

"I have no idea. Again, it's a two month journey just to get there, then we have to actually find other Ishtaer. And once we do, I'd have to convince them to teach me how to use magic, and then it would be another two months back. By the time we're done, the war might be over."

Raine turned away, and asked in a small voice "Can… can I join you?"

"Why?" Haelith asked.

"I can't control my magic either. If someone can teach you magic, maybe they can help me too. I need to try something, anything different."

Barret looked at her for a minute, and shrugged. "Eh, why not? Could be fun." The three stood for a while as the sun dipped below the horizon. "I'll start packing tomorrow morning. Hopefully we can leave without too much issue."

Behind them, brown furred ears listened, and suppressed a gasp and cry.