If L wants to play such a childish game, I have no valid reason to back down because I am not going to lose and confirm the unfounded belief of his superiority. However, I intend to act justly and rationally without going to an 11-year-old to ask for explanations.

Calling himself a 'genius', you would think that L would never do something so inconsiderate. Still, he did, asking Lex the reason for my behaviour towards him, as if he had lived in the same house as me and knew perfectly every facet of my past as well as every corner of my mind.

I haven't formally introduced Lex, but I don't have much to say about him. We are just fellow rank mates, and he is a kind person to everyone.

Returning to L, I am not going to do as he did. Instead, I will go directly to the one who has supreme power, so to speak and settle the matter once and for all. I will force him to make it so that I no longer have to have him around.

I wanted to do that yesterday, but Roger reported that Watari was rather busy at the time and that I could come by later if the matter was critical, and I would have done it, except that Rae and Ayla wanted to 'make up' for what happened at lunch.

They didn't say those specific words because they don't believe they did anything wrong, but I think that was their intent unless they wanted to see if that episode changed our relationship. A rather ridiculous idea, honestly, because I don't allow third parties, insignificant as L is, to intrude in any way on a friendship that I've been nurturing for almost two years.

It would be stupid of me because my lies are what do not allow them to understand my point of view, so they are not to blame for acting in the way they wish. I would certainly prefer that they ignore L, mistreat him, and demand his transfer, but that would not be rational because I have not been able to fully convince them of what a danger L is to the Wammy's House and, furthermore, they are part of his project.

However, their attempt to calm me down was relatively poor because they mentioned L a couple of times, and I had to play dumb. I expected them to ask for more explanation about my reaction, but it didn't happen, probably because they think I resent him for not being picked, and no matter how many times I repeat that, even if I had the chance, I would never have been part of it, they are not going to believe me.

Lex isn't part of it either. Although apparently, a friend of his is a member, and from what he told him, it's strange as heck. He could not give him detailed information about it. The only shared aspect of the project is that L assigned them letters as aliases. Basically, he erased their identity again to make them an alphabet – so to speak, since it's not exactly 26 people taking part. It's a lot less.

And he's not some kind of God, is he?

His friend reiterated several times that L is really a genius, saying that he has proven it somehow. I don't know how, and I don't want to know, but it is plausible to think that he has solved a case or similar since his intelligence is reportedly related to deduction and logic.

If I want to be sure of my hypothesis, I have to check all the cases solved in the last year, but that is a rather impossible task. I cannot access police records, and those reported on television or in newspapers do not communicate all the minutiae, so they may not have referred to a mysterious 'L', who perhaps did not even use that designation of his.

On top of that, I have the impression that L is not from this country, as Watari made a long journey to retrieve him. It took longer than a regular drive in the north of England, counting possible traffic, fluctuating speed, and other reasons for delay, so it is natural for me to think he is from Scotland, but I have no proof. I can't even ask him directly because he wouldn't answer me.

Perhaps I can push Ayla to ask him if he is British so that he is not suspicious and would not seem to have the intent to find out his previous residence. Maybe by mentioning a possible accent he has, although that would be risky since he doesn't have a marked one, and I think he knows it.

Whatever his background, even if he were Scottish, it would not be easy to find his implication in a case. The only way to figure it out is to look through his stuff in his room.

This is a matter for another time, anyway, because there are other more important aspects of this issue.

Rae and Ayla did not say anything about the letters. On the one hand, I understand them not wanting me to feel left out, but on the other hand, can't they discuss it with each other peacefully? It might be possible that they are unaware of it, which is rather mean on L's part but also comforting because he does not impose his will on theirs. Perhaps, it was a choice, and they preferred to keep their names. The best choice.

I realize I am talking a lot about L and the project, but I want to reaffirm that I am not interested in either of them. I am just trying to protect my friends from a complete waste of time. The more information I know about L and his reasoning, the better I get at righting his wrongs so that they do not affect them permanently and dangerously, even though they have a great strength of mind.

The door to Watari's office opened, and I got up from the floor. The old director emerged shortly after, signalling for me to come in and take a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. I did not comply with this last request of his because standing allowed me to have more control over the space around me and increased the feeling of authority I felt since it meant not listening to an adult.

However, it was not just about that. I wanted that interaction to be as brief as possible, and my not sitting down conveyed that, as well as a feeling of urgency, because I wanted Watari to understand my motives and act immediately.

"Roger reported that you wanted to talk to me." He said as soon as we were face to face. "Is something bothering you?"

"L." I answered simply, without dragging it out or circling around it too much.

I had already wasted a lot of time on that little boy, and adding more was unthinkable.

The confused expression on Watari's face should have already dissuaded me from continuing the conversation because it was clear that my suspicion turned out to be well-founded, and my greatest fear regarding him had come true.

I should have stopped talking and gotten out of there, but I still had this small hope that he could do something and improve my situation by understanding me. However, Watari was not Mazzaroth. He was a human, and humans had a list of priorities to enact their behaviour. It was clear that I had ceased to be on that list and, probably, if not deleted completely, had been grouped under the qualifier 'orphanage kids', and my case was not something considerable to keep in mind.

"Why would L be a problem?"

I had a lot of answers to that question because every little thing about L was a detriment to the Wammy's House and, more importantly, to me. I could not find a single positive thing, although some even called him a worthy successor to Einstein. He was not, would never have been, because he was L and nothing else.

However, at that exact moment, my mind became a blank page, with no lines, writing, or scribbles, because I realized that my motives were tainted by my hostile feelings towards him, which would have invalidated any reason I saw fit to send L away.

Not even telling him that L considered himself to be justice, my thoughts on the matter and 'anti-justice' seemed to be the appropriate course of action, as he would either have dismissed my or his statement as a 'trifle' that children utter or even agree with him, since he himself had been the one who had brought him here, thus supporting his agenda.

Based on this information, it was legitimate to think that Watari was on his side, despite presenting himself as an impartial being. I had to avoid talking about the program and his favouritism so as not to attack the two pillars of their relationship and put him on the defensive because that was what he seemed predisposed to do.

"I think you made a mistake in bringing him here."

Although I had told myself not to attack him directly, I had nevertheless to be slightly truthful so that my complaint would have not appeared completely biased and had no factual basis, except in the way I saw reality.

"You did not answer my question, Ethelinda."

"He is not a good person."

"How can you say that?"

I understood that my reply was not reasonable because, in the end, it was an opinion in his eyes, meaning a judgement based on a subjective criterion, of which he did not seem to be aware since he had not even explained to me the reason for his alias. He had forgotten about my question and had not even sought me out to ensure everything was alright.

In any case, my opinion was not concrete proof, and the details I would have added would never have been enough to convince him, but I wanted him to believe me for once and trust me without questioning me.

I thought that if L had said such a thing about another person, not presenting something for verification, he would have believed it to be true and would have gone out of his way to remove that individual from the facility. I wondered why he treated me so differently from him. What made me different in his eyes from L?

I told myself nothing just to have a reason not to put up with his attitude, but I didn't want to be like L, so I was undoubtedly characteristically distant from him, or rather, that was what I aspired to.

"Did you ever question his morality or, rather, the way he would behave with others? Or was what he showed you enough to convince you that he would be fair to us?"

I was trying to be as vague as possible, but it was impossible not to refer to that project because it represented most of what I knew about L. My perception of that boy was drawn from the way he had structured it, even though I didn't have much information about it.

"Apart from what happened on the first day, I don't know of any other incidents where he performed such acts." He replied. "I talked to him about it, if that's what's bothering you."

"What did he say?"

"That... He apologises." His uncertain tone annoyed me.

"And, by the way, I have been attacked, but I have not been aggressive."

I turned towards the entrance, seeing L make his way into the room, leaving the door ajar. He put his hands in his pockets and looked quite bored that he had to intervene in my private conversation, again, as if someone had forced it upon him.

"My conduct since the second day has been almost impeccable, and even now, I am keeping my distance." He continued. "If she did the same, we wouldn't have this hassle."

"Can you tell him to go away?" I asked Watari.

"If both of you are here, it is easier to resolve this matter."

"I agree." Intervened L. "I've already stated my side of the story, so it's your turn to do so."

"You did it in confidence." I pointed out. "I deserve to be treated as an equal."

L said nothing. He watched me for a few seconds in silence, also shifting his gaze to Mazzaroth, which I held in my left hand. As much as I wanted to hide it from his sight, that would have led him to believe that the diary contained useful information to extinguish the aversion I felt and, therefore, to have to take it, read it and act accordingly, so I did nothing.

I was surprised that Watari did not try to guide the resolution. Perhaps he thought that, as he did not understand my motives, there was no point in saying anything, and it was better to leave it to the person concerned to deal with it because, according to him, he would have found a way to put my mind at rest. A wrong deduction, since being forced to have to talk to L made me ill-disposed and that he should be the one to find a way was the premise of my unconditional rejection.

"For some reason I don't understand, you hate me—"

"I despise you." I corrected him.

I didn't. I just hated him, and he knew it, although he did not try to correct me further and merely nodded. That gesture of his surprised me, in all sincerity, because I did not expect him to abandon that particular battlefield so quickly when he had all the arguments necessary to prove that I did not just feel indifference towards him, and it was enough for him to stay away from me for us to be on excellent terms.

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to see him abandoned one more time, left in front of the gates of another place, far away from there, in a horrible condition.

"Whatever feelings you have… I will not leave." He shifted his gaze to the old man behind me for confirmation, which came because he did not deign to open his mouth and contradict him, not even specifying the situations in which it would have been right to move him.

The trust he felt towards him was exaggerated, immeasurable, and incomprehensible. They did not know each other at all; moreover, L remained a child. I couldn't think of a single time when the director had felt the same esteem and respect for anyone other than Roger, but I wasn't even entirely sure of that.

There was something about the relationship between L and Watari that I didn't understand and would never have understood. Everything about them was strange and unusual, and rather than being a guardian, Watari was a protector. He did not seem to teach them anything. He offered him the proper tools to accomplish his task.

"What if he puts someone in danger?" I looked at the warden.

"I am trying to—" L began to say.

"I didn't ask you." I stopped him immediately. "Watari?"

"Ethelinda wasn't referring to the project, L." He said and sighed. "I understand your concerns, but L won't hurt anyone."

It was getting harder and harder to talk to Watari because even he didn't understand where I was going with this. I didn't want to know what L was capable or not capable of doing. Not at that moment, at least. I needed to know if a scenario would have included his removal or if he would have forgiven him without reservation.

However, insisting on that possibility in L's presence would have alarmed him, and I would not have been able to put it into practice because he would have been concerned about preventing that from happening. I had to postpone that conversation to another day in his absence, although it seemed to become rather tricky.

"How can you be so sure?" I mimicked with my lips, shifting my gaze to L, who had put the tip of his index finger in his mouth.

It was disgusting, and just the thought that I had picked up that book after him made me nauseous. I sincerely hoped that I had not touched the pages and cover in the places where he had done so. I hadn't noticed any crumbs or remnants of sweets, which was an achievement, but I hadn't been able to ascertain the existence or non-existence of his saliva, though that should have been my main concern, knowing this habit of his.

"You were saying something about the project."

"Yes, but I changed my mind..." He took a pause. "About telling you."

"My friends are members." I reminded him.

"That's right, they are. And they are very good. I trust their abilities, and so should you."

Was he implying that I didn't trust them? For a 'detective', he still hadn't managed to understand the dynamics of my relationship with the two of them and the double meanings of my statements. I had faith in their competence, and belonging to higher ranks was concrete proof of their skill. It was L's that had not been corroborated in any way, and Rae and Ayla's participation only served as justification for knowing more, but apparently, L did not understand how friendships worked at all.

"You never had any friends, right?"

"Not yet, but don't go around saying that, because I don't care." He answered me truthfully, or at least that was the impression I got. "Honestly, I think it would be to your disadvantage."

It was true because Rae and Ayla would have felt sympathy for him and tried to make up for it, and they wouldn't have been the only ones. As much as it was a trait to be admired, too many people within that orphanage felt they had to act that way. It didn't bother me when it was towards others. It was the idea that L would have received the same acceptance that irritated me.

His scruffy appearance had certainly infected others with a feeling of pity, counterbalanced, then, by the project and the exclusion of many from it. If it had come to light that L actually experienced no sympathy, as was assumed, it would have tipped the scale in his favour. The only way to prevent this was to give a reason for his exoneration, namely that he was a bad person. The problem was what kind of badness should be attributed to him because there were modifiable traits that would have, in any case, allowed him to be integrated into the Wammy's House.

"Could you tell me why you despise me?" L asked.

"No."

"Then, you are left with four options." He continued and seemed to wait for my objection, which did not come.

I would not have accepted any of them, but I wanted to hear how he reasoned since the chess game had not allowed me to understand enough. I was only aware that he watched his opponent's face a lot, probably to follow their gaze, so as to understand the possible moves they would have made and choose the most favourable one. It was not very useful in other areas since we were never standing in front of a chessboard, and I could not give him checkmate in words, assuring myself of supremacy.

"First option: you despise me, but you don't come into my room early in the morning and throw a book at me, at the very least."

"I didn't aim at you." I commented in a low voice.

"Second option: you become indifferent to my presence, and we don't interact."

"You are the one interacting with me."

"Your last option, less likely, because... It doesn't sound like you and people are predisposed to..."

"Conservatism?" I helped him.

"Keep the same views.'" He continued, as if he hadn't heard me. "You eliminate your initial assumptions about me, try to get to know me and realise that your behaviour is irrational."

"It is not irrational." I retorted loudly, because being accused of unreasonableness was something I could not accept.

Considering the job he aspired to, he must have understood better than anyone that there were causalities behind the way others acted, even if they were not obvious. It was just more proof that Rae and Ayla had decided to follow someone who didn't quite understand the way humans thought, which did nothing but steal their and our precious time.

"We don't know each other. I only know your name because Ayla told me, but from the first time we met, you seemed angry with me. Knowing only my name, I assume you have—"

"You said there were four. Which is the last one?"

"I was going to explain it to you because it is not your alternative but mine."

His possible choice involved research, and I couldn't let him do that. Theoretically, the rules of the Wammy's House forbade him any kind of investigation into the past of its members, but it was a given that L would have done anything to eliminate my interference in his work. The question was whether Watari would have allowed it or whether the dictates applied to everyone except the new kid.

I would have asked him but, bearing in mind what had happened, I did not want to risk being a witness to his bias again. He would have found the version of that process that would have made it legitimate, which existed in my case since there was no need for the actual acquisition of my personal file. It was findable in other ways, unfortunately.

What was needed, though, was the obtaining of confidential material that was not at all public and not even present in England, which was only possible on L's part with the development of his project and his establishment within the forces of law and order. The programme was not in operation, but if he intended to act publicly soon, I gave him two to three years to be able to find those documents with my name on them.

However, it had to be taken into account that this was a context in which L's project would have become effective and would not have been transferred, which made it less and less likely, as my goal was to make this happen as soon as possible.

"Reciprocity is a virtue of mine. I don't think you want that to happen." I threatened him, walking towards the door, determined to get out of there because there was no point in continuing this unhelpful exchange of banter.

"You're making it a competition in this manner, and I hate losing."

L moved counterclockwise with each step I took, keeping the same metres that separated us. It seemed he was keeping his 'promise', but I was sure it was just window dressing. He wouldn't have moved a millimetre if Watari hadn't been there.

"Do you predict you will fail?" I laid my hand on the doorknob.

"No, not at all. It's a warning from me." He arrived in front of Watari's desk, and I watched him from head to toe.

"I have good aim even at a distance."

"I don't doubt it." A small smile materialised on his lips for the first time, but I couldn't tell if it was ironic or sincere, as his tone of voice had no inflection denoting derision.

In any case, he met only an expression of intolerance from me because the idea that he was beginning to be comfortable enough to smile in my presence was daunting. It was not the direction I wanted our acquaintance to go in, and if he started to think it was all just a subtle rivalry with no real impact on our lives, I would never find a way to send him away without resorting to drastic decisions.

I turned towards the exit and opened the door. "Goodbye, Watar—"

"One last thing." L stopped me before I could put a foot outside. "From now on, I will refer to Rae and Ayla as X and T, respectively."

I couldn't show L how much it bothered me, so I remained impassive, partly because I didn't actually know what irritated me more: whether it was L who told me or Rae and Ayla who hadn't. Plus, hurling myself at L in a bullying manner in front of Watari would have definitely put me at a disadvantage.

"Goodbye, Watari." I repeated, maintaining a neutral tone.

I left the room, leaving the door ajar, and leaned against the wall, clutching Mazzaroth in my arms. I heard a chair inside the office move, indicating that L was going to sit on it. I was torn, though, whether to stay there or face my two friends.

I wanted to let them give me that information, but I was not so willing to give them much more time. I had known about it since the previous day, twenty-four hours had passed, and they had not even mentioned the hypothetical acquisition of other aliases.

That detail wasn't subject to a disclosure ban since Lex's friend had shared it, so I didn't understand why they had decided to keep it from me, but I highly doubted they had done so to protect my feelings.

I decided to leave L alone, for the time being, concentrating on something really urgent. I knew it wasn't something that concerned me personally, that two letters would not have changed anything about our two-year relationship, but I had a bad feeling about it because it looked like the beginning of a break-up.

It was a rather apocalyptic and hasty prediction, but the mere idea that they were changing their fictitious persona, without me knowing and being able to convince them not to, felt like a stab in the back, adding to the effect L was having on me in those days.

No matter how hard I tried to keep a calm mind and reason, it was challenging to do so. It was complicated not to be driven by that unknown feeling that led me to hate L, to consider him a danger capable of ruining everything I was attached to. It was not yet a fully developed concept, but I was beginning to get the impression that L was there, at the Wammy's House, with the sole purpose of punishing me for what I had done.

I knew I deserved some sort of punishment, but there was a fear that overcame this awareness, and it was my job to prevent it from manifesting itself into reality.

I arrived in front of my room and stood for a few seconds looking at the edge of the largest rectangular panel. I was sure I would have found Ayla inside, but I didn't know how to deal with her. Every scenario I could think of on the subject ended in a fight, and what worried me was that L would have taken this as an opportunity to get closer to them since I thought that was his goal, despite the fact that I had no concrete evidence to state otherwise.

"Aren't you going in?" Rae appeared behind me, and I stepped aside, watching her.

Inside, I hoped she had simply forgotten about it because she didn't think it was essential and that she would have only used X during the cases she was involved in and nothing else to maintain anonymity. I didn't want that letter to become part of who she was, although it was apparent that it was going to become, since it was her future employment, but the simple reassurance that she remained Rae as I had known her would have been enough for me to gradually accept it.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I was thinking about something L told me."

"Oh... Do you talk to him now?"

"To my detriment." I added.

Rae nodded and entered our room. I didn't want to follow her, now completely convinced that she had no intention of telling me because she didn't want to and not because she had forgotten my presence in the picture of her life. It was not a better alternative, but it was preferable to be considered a problem.

I decided, though, to give Ayla the same chance, intent on wiping the asesedwa with a cloth. I convinced myself that it was in Rae's character to be so unobservant, as she did not like to talk about herself much. I tried to rationalise this in every possible way, even though it was clear there was only one explanation.

"How come you went to Watari, anyway?" Rae asked, having just settled down on her bed at the far left.

"Right, I was going to ask you that too." Ayla interjected. "We saw you talking to Roger yesterday and we all know you hate him. You hate being around him more than you hate bugs."

"Especially after you said his interest makes him pathetic, while he was behind your back."

They both giggled, but I couldn't feel the same amusement. I felt like I was intruding in that room because they appeared as two strangers whom I couldn't understand at all. In part, it was also true: we were strangers who had learnt to be together. However, there was a connection between them, which I could no longer perceive at that moment. I felt excluded and in a place where I shouldn't have been.

It was a decidedly strange feeling because they were addressing me, and I was in my room, the one I had occupied since the first day, but everything I had created, the meaning I had attributed to the two girls standing in front of me and the objects around us seemed to have dissipated in those few minutes I had walked from Watari's office to there.

"I wanted to ask for advice but couldn't say anything because L entered the office immediately afterwards." I replied.

"Oh, that's where you guys talked." Rae nodded.

"About what?" Ayla pulled herself up and started folding the cloth into four.

Their quietness made me strongly uneasy. I would have preferred it if they showed that they were slightly afraid I knew about it, without them having been the ones to tell me, but there was none of that on their faces.

"You should be the one to tell me, T."

Her expression changed immediately, and the realization that I had been right all along couldn't make up for the emptiness I felt in the centre of my chest.

"Did he tell you?" Rae sat up, shifting his gaze between Ayla and me.

"I knew since yesterday. He just let me know what they were specifically."

"Yesterday? Who?" Rae continued.

"Lex. You should know better than me that he has a friend in the project."

I wanted to add 'that includes him', but I preferred to just state the facts without involving my opinions as well since I didn't know how much his friend was telling him, and I didn't want that precarious knowledge of mine to backfire in the future.

"I don't understand." Rae whispered.

"It's nothing, Ethe." Ayla intervened. "These aliases... They're not that important. They only serve him."

She tried to move closer, but as soon as she saw that I took a step backwards towards the exit, she stopped. I didn't want that issue to be resolved like all the others, with her taking my hands and reassuring me based on the reason for the argument. I wanted to have the reasons why they had not brought me up to speed.

"They are relevant, Ayla. Let's be honest. It's just that... Didn't he say that...?" Rae asked, turning to Ayla, who nodded.

"We don't use them for n—" Ayla tried to say.

"He said he will refer to you that way from now on." I stopped her before she could lie to me. "I am willing to believe that he is a liar, but your behaviour suggests that he is not in this case."

"Is he still in Watari's office?" Rae walked past Ayla.

I shrugged and moved away from the entrance, leaving enough room for Rae to leave without being too close to me.

If she thought going after L was going to console me, she obviously didn't understand why it bothered me so much.

"Faust? Lex?"

I shook my head, and Rae left the room. I would definitely have preferred that she had stayed and explained to me what had led her not to tell me.

However, a certain degree of disharmony appeared in the project, in which everyone decided to use the information in their possession to their own liking, which, in all honesty, I liked.

"Ethe, I swear to you." Ayla returned to speak. "It's just for the project. It's no big deal."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

Ayla could not give me an answer. She just stood there looking at me in silence, perhaps searching for an excuse to give me that I would have believed, that existed since there was only one person from whom I expected a certain attitude towards me. However, she avoided putting any responsibility on him and telling me that he was the one who had forbidden them to tell me because he wanted to get on my nerves.

"I expected you to be warier. I just hope you don't regret it." I replied, giving her one last look, before walking out and heading for my grade's classroom.

"Ethe, wait!" She called me back from the threshold, but I didn't stop.

Apparently, those four walls would have become a more frequent hiding place during my stay at the Wammy's House, along with Mazzaroth.

However, I didn't really want to talk to it because I didn't have much to tell, and I didn't want to put down on paper a 'moment of madness', as a few hours later, I would have begun to think I had slightly exaggerated.

Asesedwa - "traditional Ghanaian stool"; made of carved wood.