Apparently, my strategy is working. It's only been 56 hours, but Lex hasn't tried to approach me since he tried to pull me out of my room to go downstairs and play with his friends.

I noticed him giving me a few looks during meals, but he never came to talk to me, which is good, because I didn't want to publicly run away from him. It would have been obvious why and I want to be as discreet as possible while trying to stop wanting to be his friend.

I didn't expect it to be more difficult than I imagined, because I thought I didn't have time to get attached to him and, thus, I shouldn't feel sad about a choice I voluntarily made and which is not having negative consequences.

I guess it's the guilt that comes from ignoring him that leads me to feel this way, because I don't like the idea that he thinks I broke a promise he believes I made. I think it is this and not so much the fact that I have to be his assistant, because he doesn't give me assignments that can actually help him. It would be different if he asked me for help with his limited mobility, because I can't just turn away, but that is unlikely to happen if I keep avoiding him.

Besides, his absurd request to be his teammate in a trivia game would have had no positive outcome. I am not good at such a game. I don't have as much general knowledge as Rae. She would have been perfect for that role. I wonder why he didn't ask her, since he bumped into her, and she was the one who let him know about my position. He could have made that proposal and definitely won. The most I could have offered him was moral support, since defeat would have been assured.

I believe he is an extremely capable person and would have been able to answer at least 60 per cent of the questions adequately, but I would have remained silent. I would rather keep quiet than be in the wrong. Besides, I don't want to show the connections my mind makes to people I don't consider friends and that can create a psychological and behavioural picture of me. Elioenai has not fully succeeded yet and I do not want to help him in this. Seeing me next to people with whom I have no intimacy could give him too many signs to investigate and I must avoid that.

I haven't managed to get into his room yet, because every time I venture inside Wammy's House, I have the impression that either Lex or L might appear behind me and ruin everything; therefore, I am more cautious in my movements. Also, it's starting to get really cold outside and the two of them – Elioenai and Natal – tend to stay in their room a lot. It is difficult, as a result, to find the right moment and have enough time. I have to do it when we are not usually all together in the same place, so that my absence wouldn't be suspicious.

You also understand how complicated it is, but I do not consider it unfeasible. There are many alternatives, some more moral than others, to remove them from their refuge for long periods of time.

The problem is that I cannot be sure that Elioenai did not realise my incursion and decided to hide it somewhere else. Last time it was hidden under his underwear. I guess he thought that no one would dare to snoop there, but it was imperative to check any place.

Honestly, that's the first place I looked, since it's in the same spot where I've hidden Mazzaroth several times. It helped me realise that it's a rather predictable and I found myself having to change it, but, now that I think about it, I wonder if L also chose that same spot as a hiding place for his binder. Unlikely, since it's definitely bigger than mine or Elioenai's notebook and, knowing his way of thinking to some extent, I get the impression that he hid it in Watari's office or some place that's difficult to access if you're not skilled at not being noticed.

I was thinking of Roger's room, because it is very 'protected', so to speak. He spends a lot of time there and even locks it, but I wonder how much confidence the two of them have to make L feel safe in leaving everything in his hands.

Watari's is not difficult to access, but it's practically impossible to hide anything inside because it's sparsely furnished.

Other people's rooms or the library are still

The scene of L probing the top shelves in the library came back to me.

Was it possible that he was looking for a place to hide his things? I couldn't see how such a spot could be attractive, at the mercy of everyone present, who could easily get their hands on it. However, on the other hand, no one would go looking for something in such a public place, as it was natural to say that no one would ever hide anything in plain sight. It was definitely a credible strategy, if it came from L, as he was always trying to show himself different and superior to others.

I stood up and went upstairs. I had been in the main hall writing, because I didn't want to risk running into Lex, in case he needed to go to the bathroom again.

I'd much rather be encouraged by Watari to go to my room than have a conversation with him, even if it meant that the owner would notice my habit of being awake more than normal and would call my doctor to explain how bad it was for me. He thought a professional's opinion would convince me over his mere words, and it was so, but they would only change my actions in certain situations and the one I was in was not included.

I called it a 'habit' for a reason: it was hard to eradicate. After years of trying to be as awake as possible, so as to be aware of everything that was happening around me, I found it difficult to give up that behaviour. I had managed to increase my hours of sleep from four and thirty-seven minutes, with days when I did nothing but sleep for almost twenty-four hours, to almost six to eight hours a night, without ever completely collapsing into a continuous sleep of that duration.

My doctor had recommended, in order to make up for even the 'prolonged damage' – which I did not see as such – that sleep deprivation had created, to sleep at least ten to twelve hours, which was ridiculous. Watari had promised him that he would take care to make it possible, and he did, since my grade's classes were delayed in comparison to those of the others, but it was definitely impossible to follow such rules, because I was wasting precious time that I could spend doing something else, including catching up on all the knowledge that had been forbidden to me and being in a place with other people, who, even if they could judge me, made it apparent that I belonged there, because they did not deny me staying there.

Before I could reach the library, the bathroom door opened.

I stopped on the spot, at a safe distance, and switched off my new torch.

L came out of the room and, with one arm still inside – probably resting his hand on the switch about to turn off the light –, he looked at me. Apparently, I startled him, because he took a step backwards, slammed his back against the door, and put his hand on his chest.

"Overdramatic." I commented in a whisper, as L tried to recover from his fictitious dismay.

"'Overdramatic'? You're the one standing still in the dark in the middle of the hallway." He said in a low voice, and I rolled my eyes. "Did you want to attack me from behind?"

I didn't answer and waited for him, without saying anything, to go back to his room, but, as usual, L was so eager to waste my time and stood in the bathroom doorway, intent on continuing that conversation.

Could I have simply ignored him and continued with my mission? No, because he would have definitely followed me and, if what I had assumed turned out to be true, he would have tried to prevent me from approaching it. I couldn't even physically hurt him to shake him off, because everyone would have heard; therefore, I would have to return to my room with the knowledge that L would move the binder somewhere else.

It was definitely more convenient for him to return to his bedroom, so I could hear if he had possibly come out, and pretend I was reading or writing on Mazzaroth.

"Lex told me what happened to his ankle." He began, and I immediately knew where he was going with this.

"Yes, I derive pleasure from physically injuring other people."

I didn't know if my answer had generated the reaction I wanted, because, on the one hand, he had remained silent, which was good, but, on the other hand, that was accompanied by a slight smile of certain mockery.

Mine was an obvious lie, but I wouldn't have minded actually punching him in the face, so I could remove that expression he had started to have more often around me.

I didn't even understand what could possibly cause him that smirk, because I didn't seem to be telling funny stories.

He turned off the bathroom light and walked towards his room, while I merely followed him with my eyes, without moving any other muscle.

I was surprised that the conversation had ended and wondered if that approach had turned out to be the right one, to ensure that L and I talked as little as possible, since, even with a few too many grimaces on his part, it had lasted less than the average of our interactions.

He turned to me one last time before entering the room.

"It is not difficult to pay attention to two people at the same time." He said and I frowned.

Did he think my hatred came from the fact that I thought he was stealing my attention at Wammy's House? It was ridiculous, because clearly he had occupied a much higher position in the hierarchy – not for me, but from an objective point of view, based on the criteria by which that institution operated and the fact that he had his own project, his own room, as well as a computer, and unlimited trust from Watari – and it was, hence, obvious that people were more interested in him than in me, adding to that the fact that he was 'the new guy'.

I'd had my share of eyes on me, my first few months, and that was why, even if I ignored it, I'd been attributed a certain adjective.

"Ayla." He added.

Oh.

"I know."

"So, why do you avoid her?" He asked.

I said nothing, because who did he think he was representing for me to lecture me, when he was the cause of why I was no longer in her presence so much? As long as L existed by her side, I simply couldn't be there, because, yes, humans were capable of what he had claimed, but it didn't sit well with me that the consideration she should've only reserved to me was imparted with him.

"Good night, Ethelinda." L entered his room without waiting for me to wish him anything, perhaps because he knew by then that it would never happen.

Finally, I entered the library, grabbed a chair, and walked over to where I had seen him thumbing books. I avoided turning on the light, as that would have drawn attention, and relied solely on the torch, which I held between my teeth.

It was harder than I had anticipated climbing with only a little illumination in front of me, as I could not point it directly at my feet. In addition, I was afraid of grabbing a book and not the wood, thus ending up falling backwards, but, fortunately, I managed to pull myself up and have enough balance.

I immediately felt dust on my fingertips as I began to sift through the various volumes I remembered L had his hands on, and I had to fight the urge to get down and wash it off. I tried to calm myself down by thinking that it would only take me a short time and then I could use all the soap I wanted.

I brushed my fingers over a rather sharp and possibly cutting tip protruding from one of the books. I gripped it tightly and pulled it out. It was quite light and, when I shone the torch on it, I realised that it was a plastic-coated paper card.

The inscription 'Better luck next time' was written on one side, which I allowed myself to identify as the front, while, on the back, a large letter resembling an 'L' in black occupied a large part of it. It was distinctive in its style, which I could almost have described as more formal, but at the same time, delicate, as it seemed to consist of several curved brush strokes. The vertical part of the L was divided into two parts, as if a less curled 'S' ran through it. The half on the right was simpler than the one on the left, which had three westward strokes of different sizes: the one on the higher end was longer, while the other two, more in the middle of the arm, differed little from each other, with the second being longer than the third and reaching half the size of the first. The base had a slight concavity of the lower side and increased in thickness from left to right.

All in all, I hated that figure as much as L himself and I would certainly have to get some material on typography to better understand if there was any intrinsic meaning, which at that moment I ignored.

However, one single thing was clear at that moment.

I clenched the card in my fist, giving myself a small cut between my thumb and index.

L beat me that time.