The more days pass, the more I realise why he chose that letter as his name.

It stands for loser, but also for larcenist.

He stole the card that Rae and I worked on for an entire afternoon. Ayla tried to get it back, but failed, saying that L was protecting it as if it was a dog helping a fawn survive a hyena. And what's the only weapon he has in that situation? His teeth.

L tried to bite Ayla's hand when she got too close to the plastic-coated paper.

Ayla found it funny or, at least, was laughing as she told me about it, perhaps not realising how dangerous it was, especially since Watari has never denied the fact that L has rabies, and he clearly has some symptoms of it.

In the furious form of this disease, the animal (L, in this case) or the human presents hyperactivity, hydrophobia, severe or uncontrolled excitability. The patient is restless, agitated, moves uncontrollably, has hallucinations and high levels of confusion, with abnormal behaviour, which may include biting others.

The only symptom I have not seen in him is hydrophobia, but I have a plan to test it. Since the garden plant sprayer is not safe enough, because it may still have traces of insecticide, I have to wait for the cleaning staff to run out of products so I can get it from them. I checked the other day and one of the two they had for the windows seemed about to run out. I managed to estimate another week of use before it finishes.

As for the rest, L is a weirdo, who thinks he's an undisputed genius, who never stands still, beats people up and sits in a twisted way. He thinks my hatred for him is some kind of rivalry, something that gets him on edge, because he thinks it's a competition, which is a clear sign of confusion on his part. Furthermore, he has the impression that I am a threat (hallucinations) and, for whatever he does, he always seems to take my actions into account, showing his obsession with me (abnormal behaviour). Finally, he has recently demonstrated that he is capable of biting others.

Clearly, he has rabies and Watari is keeping this from us, assuming he does know, which makes the situation both dangerous for us around him and favourable, because it means he has not been vaccinated and is risking his life.

However, I wonder why he didn't get it. Watari took great care that I was up to date with all the doses I should already have had, and although my case had an aggravating factor, I am sure he did the same with the others. So why not L? Did he tell him he had them all and he believed it, or did he not care to check? I sincerely hope it's the latter, because if the symptoms become clearer, it will be easy for Rae and Ayla to gradually distance themselves from him and the project, without their future plans being affected.

Needless to say, I haven't spoken to Watari anymore and the situation with Lex has reverted to the initial one: of mere cohabitation without interaction.

On the eleventh, he took off his cast. Fortunately, it was the nine in which we implicitly established this pact to stay away from each other, because now that he is not restricted, I cannot go up or down the stairs and get away from him in that way, even though it happened more than once that he would reach me. However, the variable of possible friendship is now removed from the picture, so there should be nothing to push him in my direction.

In fact, it is certain. I am in the canteen now and he is sitting at his usual table, further to the right than me, and I have not seen him turn to my direction once. As sad as it is to have to accept it, it is necessary. The only thing that matters is the fact that he has no negative feelings towards me, which was confirmed by the way he behaved on the ninth.

He defended me and I was glad. I didn't get a chance to thank him, and I don't intend to, but I hope he knows that I appreciated it, even though he shouldn't have, because Set can be quite aggressive and it's best to interact with him as little as possible when he gets angry. For that reason, I left as soon as I realised that the situation was not going to improve as long as I was around.

I am not really surprised by his hatred towards me, because we had a little misunderstanding in the past and I happened to hear him talk about me. I won't repeat word for word what he said, but my incapacitating Lex is one of the reasons why he finds me a problem.

It doesn't matter. I just want to keep the peace within this structure, and if I have to stay away from him to do that, I have no problem with that, because I don't want to deal with him in the first place. I don't know him very well, because I haven't had any reason to talk to him in the two years I've been here, but he is in Ayla's grade, and although not in the context of what happened the other day, she described him saying that compared to him, she is not competitive at all.

I did not tell her about our one-sided misunderstanding, because I fear that she might go against him and end up being the target of his harassment, which could also be exercised during school hours, when I am not present. I still have a vague memory of what happened when someone called me a 'billiard ball' because of my shaved head, and Ayla did not waste a second defending me.

It was two weeks after my arrival, and it was at that moment that she pronounced for the first time that I was her best friend. I knew what friends were at that point but hearing her say that I was 'best' implied a greater degree of responsibility and consideration, which I did not expect to get in that short time and without having to do anything.

That was also the day Rae instituted her rule – 'if you don't have something nice to say, say it in Spanish' – because she knew neither of us knew it.

I guess she decided it because my vocabulary was limited to what I was hearing in my house, which I found out was not everyday language for ordinary people or people my age, and Ayla seems to have appropriated those terms pretty quickly, perhaps not understanding their full meaning.

Rae explained that they were swear words, after asking some older boys, who no longer live here, and I had intended to recalibrate my language to something more acceptable for Rae, but Ayla beat me to it, saying that we would learn it, and we did, bringing the rule to be expanded to everything we didn't want others to hear, and reduced from always to only in her presence.

Using the books found in the library and Rae as additional support, Ayla managed to reach an intermediate level of Spanish in just five and a half months, with constant study – Monday to Friday – of at least two hours, spread over the single days, because her concentration waned after half an hour, and she had to take breaks.

Whereas for me, it was a little over a year and three months, because I also had to learn many aspects of the English language, since his help in this area did not entirely compensate for the shortcomings I had, even though making me read books gave me a certain foundation.

I have never thanked either of them for encouraging me to study Spanish, but I should do so – although, of course, not explicitly – because if it hadn't been for them, L would have been able to understand where I come from. Rae and Ayla would have noticed it too, had it not been for the fact that I limited myself to those types of terms, which were not entirely regional, and spoke generally very little.

I don't think my accent would have betrayed me, because as much as I was exposed to it, I never got to practice it – it remained, therefore, confined and sounded proper only in my mind –, but it would have happened through my inability to pronounce words correctly, even the simplest ones, because it would have led them to wonder why I was trying to emulate sounds that were not supposed to be from the area I said I was from.

In any case, this combination of aspects has led me, today, to have a standardised English without the typical British accent, which, on the other hand, Ayla possesses. I try to copy it sometimes, but it only lasts for one conversation, and, after that, I return to my usual vocal patterns.

It shows that I'm not from around here, but it shouldn't cause me much trouble, as others here don't have either. They are few, because many have managed to acquire it. I read somewhere that it is from the age of five – which is also the minimum age to be able to enter Wammy's House – that children become aware of the variety of accents, and it is at the age of twelve that it becomes permanent; therefore, I still have time to practise it if I intend to gain it.

I was not treated differently because I did not possess it. I have been treated differently because I struggled to speak and because, since it made me uncomfortable to interact with others, I would walk away from them, even in the middle of their talking.

I wonder if this is a reason why I struggle now to relate to them. There haven't been many arrivals since I've been here; so, many of those with whom I have behaved like this are still here and we haven't become friends or close acquaintances.

The bell signalling the start of lunch rang. I closed the diary and set it aside. I cast a quick glance in the direction of the empty table at which L usually sat.

Was he eating in the room again? It bothered me that he could behave like that, when we all had to show up there – even though, personally, it didn't bother me, because I wouldn't want to dirty my room and attract insects of various kinds –, but the idea that he was doing it because he had rabies relieved the hatred I felt.

As I grabbed my glass with my right hand so that I could put it back on the carving, before getting up and going to get food, I tried to look at Rae, across the room, who had been talking animatedly to Daralis since I had come down there, but my view was blocked by Elioenai and Natal passing by.

Elioenai glanced in my direction and Mazzaroth's, continuing to make that question more pressing.

Did he know? And was he waiting, perhaps, for confirmation from me, so that he could answer appropriately?

I followed them both as they sat down at the table next to Rae and Daralis'. They didn't say anything and didn't even look at them, but it wasn't unconventional behaviour. It would have been more worrying if Elioenai had started talking to Rae, but I couldn't be sure if he was going to ask about Mazzaroth or not. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, because Lex's table was making quite a mess, as was another to my left, and the kids were piling up at the two thermal trolleys. Reading lips wasn't as easy as I'd hoped, partly because Rae had his back to me, and it was hard to deduce what they might be discussing from two tables not set up and a definitely misleading attitude on Elioenai's part.

As much as I didn't want to give up, I had to get in line. I didn't take Mazzaroth with me, despite the impulse to do so, because I didn't want to show myself extremely attached to it. It was only a diary, and no one would try to take it in such a public place or, at least, I hoped I wasn't wrong.

For the few times Elioenai and Natal attended that meal, they were always the last to take their plates, but because they were often also the last to enter the canteen. Therefore, their usual behaviour was accompanied by an abnormal one, which made me turn in their direction to make sure that Elioenai was neither talking to Rae nor trying to get Mazzaroth.

I was unable to focus on the scene because my attention was caught by Lex approaching, together with Faust.

I immediately turned around.

The situation was getting rather complicated, and the queue seemed to be going slowly, even though there were two cooks handling the dishes, as usual, and I only had six people in front of me. I sincerely hoped that Lex would not take the initiative to talk to me, because between showing politeness, giving him the impression that I was open to receiving his friendship, and remaining aloof, probably hurting him, but appearing unaltered in Elioenai's eyes, the choice was quite clear.

Moreover, the fact that I could no longer even turn around and see what he was doing gave me a strong sense of panic, which I had to keep under control and not show at all.

I stared at the boy's back in front of me, without blinking, trying to calm myself down and ignore the presence of Lex and Faust behind me, who were conversing about racehorses. Specifically, how Faust didn't believe that the winner of Sunday's race had trained his horse so poorly and still come first. According to him, there had to be a trick underneath, while Lex repeated that he was just angry about losing the bet and that he would have to dress up as a character I had never heard of, but whom, apparently, Faust despised with all his heart.

If it hadn't been for the fact that Rae and Ayla needed lunch, I probably would have walked out of the cafeteria, along with Mazzaroth, and taken refuge in my room, but, at that moment, I had to fulfil my duties as best friend.

Finally, my turn came and, as always, the cooks prepared the first two plates to be brought. I only realised then that I should give Lex a look of understanding so that I could pass in front of him again and take the last dish.

I already knew I wouldn't be able to do that, so I decided that I would bring the two hot meals to the table and get back in line. However, after also making sure that Mazzaroth had not been disturbed, as I started to walk towards Rell, who was the last one, Lex cut me off and placed one of the two plates he was holding on the wooden top.

"I don't agree with what Set thinks." He paused, perhaps expecting some sign of understanding or acceptance of his statement, but I did not open my mouth. "He is not my friend."

With that said, he walked away, returning to his seat at the back of the canteen.

Did he think I was angry with him for what had happened?

"It's ten pounds for the service." Faust said, walking past me.

I didn't know whether it was a suitable price or not, as ten seemed a relatively low number and I was sure Watari had a banknote to spare. However, it was only one plate, which I hadn't even requested that he bring me; so, wasn't it to be considered as a favour?

"Twenty if it's Ayla's plate. Know that I'm keeping track of it." He added, before sitting down and pretending to write something in the air.

His voice boomed in the room and attracted the attention of everyone present, including Elioenai, even though I had the impression that he had continued to watch me, even as I had my back to him. After all, just because I couldn't see him didn't mean I had become invisible.

"Or else?" I asked him.

Faust did not immediately answer me. He cast a glance in Lex's direction, who punched him in the arm, but not hard enough to actually hurt him.

"He's joking." Lex spoke and, for some strange reason, looked rather uncomfortable. "He's not being serious."

Since I had promised myself not to talk to Lex, I merely nodded and sat down.

Was such a threat supposed to be funny? Ayla had mentioned to me that he was obnoxious, but not that he had a macabre sense of humour.

I looked at Rae, waiting for her to finish talking to Daralis and come to have lunch with me.

A few minutes later, Ayla came running into the canteen, sitting down opposite me.

"Sorry!" She said and her panting was perfectly audible. "I was playing chess with the Dame, and you know her!" She leaned towards me, using her thumb to wipe something off my cheek.

When she pulled away, I sensed a hint of mint, which made me realise that I had had toothpaste on my face. No one had pointed it out to me, not even Lex, who looked at me intently. I wondered if that was why he had done it, but that he hadn't had the courage to tell me anything.

"With her play and all, which I love, but... After four games..." She shook her head, returning to her seat. "I even had to eat both her horses at the beginning of the match, because otherwise she would have lasted much longer. It was something risky, but, in the end, I won!"

She did a brief victory dance, moving her arms up and down and humming some tune, before realising that I kept shifting my gaze between her and Rae, which made her turn around.

"Hmm." She turned back to me. "She's blending in easily with the popular kids."

"Elioenai and Natal are not talking to her and they are not even sitting at the same table." I pointed out to her.

"They are ugly and stupid, what do you expect?" She replied, starting to stir her leek and potato soup. "Rae is better than them anyway."

Obviously, so I didn't say anything and shifted, for the umpteenth time, my attention in Rae's direction, hoping she would look to me, almost as if staring at her would allow me to communicate with her mentally and let her know that she had to come and eat, otherwise it would get cold.

I began to wonder if she hadn't heard the bell and if the prolonged stay at Daralis's table was due to that, which wasn't an answer I wanted to give myself, because it would have meant that she was so immersed in that conversation that she forgot about the world around her, a bit like I was doing with books and Ayla with whatever she was interested in at any given time, spending hours doing that activity, not realising how much time was passing.

Did she mean that Rae could spend hours in Daralis' company without feeling the slightest bit tired from that long interaction? Were they already becoming that close-knit?

"Rae!" Ayla shouted suddenly, drawing the attention of everyone present, but, most importantly, of our best friend, causing the canteen to descend into total silence. "It's going to get cold if you don't move!"

"Yeah, yeah, just a minute." Rae replied, intent on returning to what she was talking about, as several of the guys resumed their conversation amongst themselves.

Ayla stood up and, without warning, went over to her, tugging her by the arm and pulling her out of her chair. Rae apologised to Daralis for that, who merely chuckled and told her they would talk later at most.

Rae sighed before sitting down and Ayla seemed quite pleased with what she had done, as she gave me a look as if to say, 'see? That was easy."

"She's so smart!" Said Rae, suddenly. "Liz is so amazing! Of course, she's part of the Apexes."

"By the way, did L tell you why you're the X?" I asked her.

"Initial of my name, right?" She cast a glance at Ayla for confirmation, but she was too busy savouring her soup and being immersed in her thoughts to pay attention.

"Faust said it was based on your 'prowess' and a number of people were put at the beginning of the alphabet for that reason, while the others kept an identifier equal to their name." I explained. "You are part of the Apex, so why are you the X? Considering Faust is in your previous grade and yet he is unfairly at the top."

Rae seemed shocked by my words, as if it was the first time she had heard them, though I imagined L had communicated it to the others.

"I... I don't know?" She frowned. "How do you know about Faust?"

"He mentioned it to Ayla, and I was there and heard it. I thought you knew."

"Well, I didn't..." She remained a few seconds contemplating the glass of water in front of her, before shrugging. "No problem. I'll ask L later. Surely, he must have be... He must have had his reasons... Shall we eat? It will get cold otherwise and Ayla is almost done."

She giggled, but it was obvious that this had made her quite pensive, for she did not actively participate in our conversation, to which Ayla had decided to return, explaining the new narratives her long-time opponent had come up with when she had eliminated her two loyal equines in the early rounds.

Despite the rather theatrical terms – luring them into an uncovered area, using fodder, and convincing them that their owner was not willing to give them so much food if they returned –, it was indeed an impulsive strategy with many weaknesses, but if effective, it could lead to victory, and I knew I would have to put it into practice myself.