"Let me get this straight," Jessica said, "you plan to grab Ekaterina Sokolova. As in kidnap her. From Russian soil. And then bring her back to the US."
Trish's head was nodding, and her face was calm as she answered. "Yes."
Jess took a moment to scan the other faces around the room, who seemed just as surprised as she was. "And then do what with her?"
Trish's eyes went to Rita. "My plan was to hand her over to the proper authorities."
"Did you get whacked on the head really hard last night?" Jessica asked.
"Last night?" Rita asked, her eyes traveling between the two women as a light bulb began to go on dimly over her head.
"My head is fine. Laurel's boss has a contact in Russia. He's keeping tabs on Sokolova's whereabouts."
"Who the fuck is Laurel?" Jessica asked as she looked at Luke, whose only response was to shrug.
"The point being, I have a plan and it will work. I just need a little help from my friends, a little buy-in from the NYPD, a bit of Hollywood magic, and no questions asked afterward."
"Hollywood magic?" Beth asked.
"I'll explain everything in detail, but I need to know beforehand that everybody's on board."
"You are going to conduct a non-judicial extradition of a Russian citizen suspected of ordering the murder of four people in my precinct, and you're going to hand her over to me so I can take her into custody?" Rita asked.
"Yes."
"I'm in," Rita said.
"If you can pinpoint her location I can put us down close to her, and bring us back once you have her," Aric's said, his voice reaching everyone loud and clear from the speaker phone in the center of the table that Luke had placed in the middle of where everyone was sitting, "but think about where it'll lead afterward. Russia will be seriously pissed that we went in and snatched one of their citizens. And you're taking a risk that some state or federal court will release her once she's here, claiming that she's a kidnapping victim. Which, technically, she will be."
"Then we'll need a cover story that satisfies the courts. We'll say that the Russians handed her over," Rita said.
"Nobody will believe that," Jessica said, "They don't hand over shit. They never have."
"The Russians won't believe it because they'll know it's bullshit. Everyone else will believe it if it's handled properly," Trish said.
"You sound like you have something in mind," Beth said.
"I do have something in mind, and I know just the people to pull it off. And don't forget she had someone in Sweden killed," Trish added, "so let's get the Swedes on board from the beginning."
"I wouldn't move until you have an American arrest warrant and a Swedish request for extradition - signed, sealed, and delivered," Aric said.
"Neither of those should be a problem," Rita said, "I know the District Attorney."
It had almost been a reflex that caused Rita to speak up when their discussion had turned to the minor detail of how they were going to get into, and then out of, Russia with Ekaterina Sokolova in custody, and without any undue fuss from the FSB or any other Russian security or police force.
"I know a guy," Rita had said, her voice almost acting on its own, "my ex. I could call him and ask."
"You have an ex-husband that can snatch up a Russian citizen on Russian soil, get out alive, and drop her into a US jail cell?" Beth asked.
"Ex-boyfriend. He's done it before. Anyone remember Miraslaŭ Baraǔkin? Belarusian dissident, showed up in New York City mysteriously in 2008, fresh from a seven-year stint in a Russian prison?"
"I remember that," Julia said, "Him, his wife what's-her-name, and her lawyer what's-his-name, held a press conference thanking the US Government for negotiating with Russia for his release. Except the Russian government denied that they released him, and the US government clammed up on the details."
"His wife's name was Renya Motyl. She fled to Poland when her husband was arrested in 2001 before winding up in our fair city. She'd been petitioning for her husband's release ever since," Trish added.
"That was your guy? He got Mira-whatever out?" Jessica asked Rita.
"Miraslaŭ Baraǔkin. Yes."
"How?" Julia asked.
"I'll call him. If he agrees to help I'll let him explain how," Rita said before closing her eyes, slowing her breathing, and allowing the barriers to fall one by one.
Hey, are you busy? We have a situation.
"Is she gonna call somebody, or not?" Jessica asked as she looked between Trish and the woman who was now sitting quietly and still.
"She said she was," Trish answered before looking at Luke who once again simply shrugged his shoulders.
"What the fuck is going on with her arms?" Beth asked as she leaned forward to get a better look at the glowing lines.
Not too busy. We're in Costa Rica at a yoga retreat, Aric replied.
"Did she just close her eyes and fall asleep?" Julia asked.
We?
"People don't fall asleep sitting up like that, do they?" Luke asked, "And what is going on with her arms?"
I brought Tyler with me. He loves it here. You should see his downward-facing dog.
Is Tyler still alive? Oh my God. That's wonderful. I miss him so much, Rita replied.
"Should we wake her up?" Beth asked.
We need to arrange a playdate, then. Sometime soon. What's your situation?
It's probably better if you called us. We're having a group chat about it.
"Isn't it dangerous to wake up sleepwalkers?" Luke asked.
I can do that. What's the number?
"She isn't walking, dipshit, she's just sitting there with glowing fucking arms," Jessica said right before everyone in the room almost jumped out of their skin when Rita opened her eyes.
"What's the phone number here?"
"Think of it as a shortcut," Aric's voice said, "There's a thick forest, and everybody takes the long curving road that goes around it, but if you know where the shortcut is, you can cut straight across. That's sort of what this is."
The room was quiet for a moment.
"What the fuck is he talking about?" Jess asked.
"It sounds like he knows a shortcut to Moscow," Trish said.
"I'm not following," Luke said.
"It's just a quicker way to get there and back again," Rita said.
There was another moment of silence.
"Nope, still not getting it," Luke said.
"Jesus, none of us are getting it. That's 'cause they're not making any fucking sense," Jessica said.
It's probably easier if I just demonstrate, Aric said.
Rita's heart rate jumped to two hundred beats a minute at the prospect of seeing Aric again.
You're coming here?
Not me.
"Tyler come," Aric's voice said through the speakerphone, "take this to Rita."
It took a second for everyone to notice the shimmering sphere as it appeared in the dining room of Luke's bar. The dog that walked out of it was noticed immediately.
"What the fuck is that?" Jessica asked as she looked at the sphere just before it disappeared.
"That is generally referred to as a German Shepherd," Aric said, "that particular one's name is Tyler."
Tyler had not seen Rita in many years, but no one in the room would have guessed that by his reaction when he saw her, the handles of the paper bag still gripped between his teeth as his tail seemed to propel him towards the woman who had been part of his life for almost a decade, his oversized paws eating up the distance quickly.
"Oh my God! Look at you!" Rita said, all other thoughts temporarily on hold during the emotional reunion between canine and human, "Aric, he looks like he hasn't aged a day!"
"A few days here and there, but not that many."
"What did he say?" Beth asked.
"Who's a good boy? You are, you big goofy dog," Rita said as she scratched Tyler's head and wagging body, "How old is he now? I've lost track."
"He'll turn thirty this November."
"I'm sorry, what? Your dog is going to turn thirty?" Trish asked.
"His birthday is a month after Rita's."
"What the fuck is happening? What was that thing that appeared and then disappeared and left a thirty-year-old hundred-pound dog carrying a paper bag in his mouth behind?" Jess asked.
"That's the shortcut. That's how you'll get to Moscow, and back again."
"Aric, this is beautiful," Rita said after taking the bag from Tyler, who had wasted no time introducing himself to all his new friends and holding up the hand-painted cotton shawl.
"A woman here in Costa Rica paints them by hand. I bought it for you after you got promoted. I was still debating how to deliver it."
"This huge fucking dog was just in COSTA RICA?" Beth asked.
The huge fucking dog was currently sitting beside Rita, his head on her lap, enjoying an overabundance of affection.
"Nope, still not getting it," Luke said.
"Oh for fuck sake," Trish said.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the bar is officially open," Jess said as she stood up and walked towards the bar.
"It's a super cavitated bubble of exotic gravitons," Aric said sometime later, "outside the bubble you're in one location, when you cross the membrane of the bubble you're in a different location."
"Super what now?" Trish said.
Rita bowed her head slightly and placed her hands in a position that made it look like she was praying. In fact, she was trying her utmost to not burst out in a fit of laughter. Tyler was fast asleep on the floor next to her, having eaten two of Luke's steak burgers.
"OK, a quick lesson on general relativity," Aric continued, "gravity is just a distortion of spacetime produced by a large mass or a large amount of energy. Gravitons, or gravitic particles, are used to generate gravitic fields, otherwise known as gravity. Way out in space you can do that any way you choose, since there's not a lot out there, so not much that can be hurt, and you can distort space to your heart's content or, more specifically, to the extent possible with the energy source you have. But if you're doing it on the surface of a planet that's home to eight billion people you don't want to generate a large gravitic field and, you know, fracture a good portion of the planet."
"All my brain held onto from that was, fractured planet," Jessica said.
Rita's attempts to keep from laughing were beginning to fail her.
"NOT fracturing the planet," Julia said, "that's where he was going, right?"
"Right. Fractured planet bad, unfractured planet good, hence the bubble. It's a highly localized, highly confined distortion of spacetime. It's a spherical boundary of folded space. It reduces the distance between two points in spacetime to virtually zero."
"Virtually zero?" Trish asked.
"What the fuck is spacetime?" Jessica asked.
"May I be excused for a minute?" Rita asked, barely avoiding laughing out loud or peeing herself.
Tyler seemed oblivious to the ongoing conversation as he entered that portion of sleep that Rita had coined rapid paw movement .
"Spacetime is just what it sounds like. Space and time are connected, and the thing that connects them is gravity. Scientists in the field don't talk about space or time, they talk about spacetime. And yes, virtually zero. The distance between two points of folded space is an asymptote. You can get as close to zero as you like, but never all the way there."
"This is some serious Star Trek shit you're talking about," Jess said.
"So you just walk through the bubble and you're in a different place?" Julia asked.
"Yes."
"Where?" Trish asked.
"Wherever."
"You can go anywhere you fucking want?" Jessica asked.
"Your limit is your energy source."
"What energy source do you use?" Beth asked.
"Dark energy. Or dark matter, which is less common. Or regular energy, or regular matter, which is even less common. I use dark energy."
"What the fuck is he talking about?" Jess asked as she looked at Rita.
"He's talking about how he can do the things he can do."
"Was that supposed to clear things up for me?"
"It's sometimes referred to as a dynamic energy fluid, but it's just a different form of energy that behaves like the opposite of gravity."
"Dark energy is a hypothetical form of energy that is proposed by physicists to explain why the universe is not just expanding but is doing so at an accelerating rate," Luke said.
"Did you just Google Dark Energy?" Jessica asked.
"Uh...no?"
"Jesus fucking Christ!"
"He's not wrong. I mean, Google's not wrong," Aric said.
"Wait a second. We live in a universe made of regular matter, don't we? Matter as in, The matter/antimatter mixer is broken, Captain, the engines are gonna explode." Jessica asked.
"You really love Star Trek, don't you?" Trish asked.
"Well, don't we live in a universe of regular fucking matter?" Beth asked.
"No, we live in a universe that is only five percent regular fucking matter. Two-thirds of the universe is made of dark energy. The rest is dark matter."
"What the proverbial fuck?" Trish asked.
Everyone was quiet for ten seconds.
"So you use dark whatever to make a super whatever bubble, and use it to move from point A to point C and hope you don't get turned inside out at point B," Julia said.
"That's a very Galaxy Quest way of describing it, but yeah."
"What happens if you stop in the bubble?" Trish asked, "What happens if you stop when part of you is on one side and part of you is on the other?"
"Some really freaky shit if you're still standing there when the bubble collapses. So don't."
Luke raised his hand.
"He can't see your hand, genius, he's on speaker. Jesus! This whole thing is so fucked up!"
"How much time has elapsed once you step through the bubble?" Luke asked.
"Since the distance between the two points is almost zero, then so is the elapsed time."
"Huh," Luke said, going quiet for a moment before asking another question. "Can you flip that process on its head?"
"What do you mean?" Aric asked.
"You use gravity to bring the distance between two points in space to zero. Can you use gravity to bring the distance between two points in time to zero?"
"It's technically two points in spacetime, so I suppose so. I never really thought about it that way."
The entire room went dead quiet.
"You're fucking shitting us, right?" Jessica asked.
"I'm not."
"You can make a bubble that travels through time," Beth said.
"Possibly, though it wouldn't do you a whole lot of good."
"Why the fuck not?"
"Well, for a start, everything in the universe is moving at one-hundred-forty miles a second. If I made a bubble that traveled a day forward or backward in time and you walked through it, the Earth would have moved and you'd step into hard vacuum and die. What you see in all the movies isn't technically a time machine. It's a spacetime machine. Spacetime, remember? If it was doable, which it's not, it would have to move through both time and space with absolutely no error or drift. Even the small bubble we are talking about to take you from New York to Moscow is going to have some spacetime drift. Sending you back a hundred years and landing you in a specific place in Austria so you can kill Hitler sounds great in the movies, but in reality, it's not achievable. What you want to do is Kindergarten math compared to that."
"So a bubble of super whatever that can send me from New York to Moscow in the blink of an eye is no big thing," Jessica said sarcastically, "like kids, if I have three balls and add one more ball how many balls do I have? Somebody fucking wake me up please, this dream sucks."
"I get what you're saying. I know this is a lot to take in. But remember, all the details are my problem. All you would have to do is walk through the bubble. Twice. Or not. It's up to you. It's just an offer. A possibility. Technically a probability."
There was a moment of silence that was broken by Jessica as she turned and looked at Rita.
"You really dated this fucking guy?"