"Joanne?" Her mother's voice rang out in the living room.

"I'll be right there!" Joanne called back from the bathroom, where she was wrapping an elastic band around Jenny's hair, tugging on it to ensure the ponytail was in place. "There. Now then, go with Grandma. Chris? Are you ready?"

Jenny hopped down from the stool and raced down the hallway while Joanne followed. "Hi, Grandma!"

"Hello, Jennifer." Joanne's mother bent down to give her a quick hug and a kiss. "Where's Christopher?"

"Hi, Grandma." Chris suddenly appeared, a hint of a smile on his face.

Joanne's mother let out a brief huff as she brushed back Chris's hair from his forehead. "You need a haircut."

"It's the style, Mom." Joanne told her.

Joanne's mother let out a hmph before giving Joanne a hug. "You haven't gotten a tree yet?"

Joanne took in a deep breath and exhaled. "No, not yet."

"You'd best hurry." Joanne's mother scolded her. "You know the best ones go quickly."

Joanne decided it would be best not to mention the possibility of she and Johnny going on a hunt for a tree. "Don't worry, I'll get one. It'll be just like any other Christmas."

Joanne's mother appeared slightly chastened and more sympathetic. "Of course it's not like any other Christmas. But perhaps a little extra cheer will make you feel better."

"Perhaps." Joanne acknowledged. "You'd best get going. Have fun."

"We will." Joanne's mother assured her.

With that, they were gone, and Joanne was left in a quiet house. She had managed to get some shopping done this week. Perhaps now would be a good time to start wrapping some of the presents, even if she didn't have anything she could put them under just yet.

She opened the door on the stereo and pulled out the drawer containing the records, flipping through the Christmas selection. Roy kept them meticulously organized, so it took her no time to find the one she was looking for and place it on the turntable.

The sounds of the album filled the room, and Joanne found herself humming along. If she let her mind drift a bit, she could almost hear Roy singing along as he had done for so many other Christmases, whether he was putting together toys or putting up any number of decorations around the house.

It felt strange, to say the least, to do this on her own.

The ringing phone snapped her out of her thoughts, and she crossed the room to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jo." Johnny responded. "Figured I'd see if you were still up to finding a tree today."

"Of course." Joanne replied. "I'm just wrapping some presents. Mom already picked up the kids, so you can come over whenever you're ready."

"Okay, see you soon."

With that, they hung up, and Joanne returned to the small pile of gifts. She'd been given the opportunity to choose some from the Benevolent Association's stockpile, but she had demurred. She was in a far better position than others, and she simply didn't feel right taking the charity.

Of course, her own sense of pride had been a factor. After all, in years past, she had been part of the committee choosing those gifts herself. The irony didn't escape her.

"Jo?" Johnny called out.

"Come on in." Joanne told him.

Johnny stepped inside, that half-smile lighting his face as he looked around. "Looks like you're catching the spirit. Good."

"Well, after we talked the other night, I thought that I might as well get out the tree decorations." Joanne explained. "And since I was getting those out, I might as well get everything else out, too."

Johnny ambled over to where Joanne had arranged the nativity scene, with a hodge-podge of other decorations surrounding it, picking up a ceramic Christmas tree. "Isn't this one that Roy made?"

"He did." Joanne replied, smiling to herself at the memory. "It was one of the first things he put in that kiln he built. He was so proud of it."

"I remember now." Johnny responded softly. "He worked on it for a while. Was getting frustrated because he couldn't get it right. I didn't get why it was so important to him. Suppose I do now."

He set the tree back on the table and glanced up at Joanne. "Sorry, don't mean to get sentimental."

"It's okay." Joanne assured him. "I think it's sweet that you remember."

Johnny nodded toward the dining room table. "Do you need some help wrapping?"

"Oh, I'm just about done." Joanne replied. "I can come back to it later. I got the kids' presents wrapped, and that's all I was worried about."

"Right, yeah." Johnny nodded. "Got my own shopping and wrapping to do. Haven't got around to it yet."

"Well, perhaps we can do that while we're out." Joanne suggested.

Johnny seemed to consider this before shrugging casually. "It does give me an excuse to mess around at the toy store."

If ever Joanne needed a reminder that Johnny was in many ways an overgrown kid, that was it.

No, not an overgrown kid. Just a kid at heart. And good heavens, Joanne did adore him for it.

"Well then, I suppose we'd best get going, then." Joanne told him.

They made their way out to the Rover and climbed in, and Johnny started it up. The sound of a piano and a high-pitched voice startled Joanne, and Johnny looked a little embarrassed as he turned it down. "Sorry. Had the first song cranked up and forgot."

"It's certainly different." Joanne replied as the song played on.

Johnny shrugged as he backed out of the driveway. "Yeah, can't say I loved this one at first. But it's growing on me, you know?"

"You do have a sentimental streak after all." Joanne teased him.

Johnny turned slightly red, though he smiled slightly. "Don't go telling everyone. I'll never hear the end of it."

"Your secret's safe with me." Joanne replied.

Johnny briefly squeezed her hand before returning to the gear shift, his fingers curling around the knob as he shifted. Before long he pulled into a Christmas tree lot, popping out the tape before shutting off the Rover.

They climbed down and headed toward the entrance, where and older man was sitting on a stool. He slowly rose when he saw Johnny. "Back again, I see. And who's this lovely lady?"

"Hey, Mac." Johnny answered, a hand resting at the small of Joanne's back. "This is Jo…Joanne. She's Roy's…I mean, she was—"

"My husband was Johnny's work partner." Joanne broke in, holding out a hand to Mac.

Mac gripped her hand with surprising strength, patting it with the other. "I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am. Roy was a fine man. Now then, what can I help you find?"

"Definitely need a tree." Johnny answered.

Joanne noticed the display of wreathes near where Mac had been sitting. "I'd like to look at the wreathes as well. Those are lovely."

Mac beamed. "Aren't they? The wife does a great job on them. Johnny, why don't you and I see if we can't find the lady a tree while she looks over those wreathes?"

"Uh, sure. Sure." Johnny replied, glancing over his shoulder at Joanne with a questioning look.

"I trust you, Johnny." She assured him. "I know you'll choose well."

Johnny went off with Mac while she looked at the variety of wreathes. She chose a simple one with sparkly gold ribbon woven into it and a bow tied at the top.

Before long, Johnny and Mac returned with a tree only slightly taller than Johnny. "Think I found one, Jo. Figured I'd run it by you since it's going in your house."

Joanne inspected it carefully, running her fingers along one branch, noticing how easily the needles sprung back, taking in the scent. "I assume you did the thump test?"

Johnny looked slightly offended. "Of course. It passed."

"Johnny here's almost as persnickety as Roy was." Mac shook his head. "You know how many trees we had to go through to find this one?"

"It's perfect." Joanne told him before glancing over at Johnny. "And I have no doubt Roy would have picked the same one."

Johnny sobered, glancing down before going for his wallet. "What do I owe you, Mac?"

Mac waved him off. "Not a damn thing."

Johnny started to protest before Mac cut him off. "Now see here, Johnny, I don't go around taking advantage of widows. Ma'am, you have yourself a nice Christmas."

Joanne was touched at the gruff man's generosity. "Thank you, Mac. You do the same."

As they returned to the Rover, it seemed to Joanne that Johnny's mood had shifted. He shoved the tree into the back of the Rover with a bit more force than seemed necessary before slamming the back closed and climbing up into the Rover.

He started it up and pulled the tape out, going through a few others before selecting one and popping it into the tape player. Something was familiar about the patter that Joanne knew preceded the song.

"Johnny, you are full of surprises." Joanne told him as the song started. "I did not figure you for a Harry Chapin fan."

Johnny's expression softened. "Think Roy left it behind after one of our fishing trips. Kinda started to grow on me. The guy sure can tell a story."

"So that's where that tape went." Joanne replied.

Johnny looked over at her with a concerned expression. "You can have it back if you want."

"Keep it." Joanne told him.

Johnny looked thoughtful, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "Been listening to it a lot lately. I don't know. Guess it helps kinda keep him close by. Suppose that sounds kinda dumb."

"Not at all." Joanne replied softly.

Johnny pressed his lips together and stared out through the windshield. "Sometimes I think I'm starting to forget him a little, and I don't wanna do that. I know I'm not supposed to mourn him forever, but…"

His voice trailed off, and he shook his head as he once again shifted the Rover into gear and started off again. "Sorry. Suppose we'd better get to shopping, huh?"

Johnny's mood seemed to lift as they went from store to store, with Joanne helping him select gifts for his aunt and the men at the station before they arrived at the toy store.

"So, hey, what are the kids into this year?" Johnny asked. "I know Chris is big into Legos. What about Jenny?"

"Jenny has some Barbies that my mother bought her, but she doesn't seem to play with them much." Joanne told him. "Now that she's getting more interested in sports, she doesn't think much of dolls."

Johnny nodded thoughtfully as they started going down the aisles. Every so often something would catch his eye, and he'd pick it up and push buttons or otherwise investigate it. He picked up a baton and started twirling it in his fingers. "How about this?"

He tossed it up in the air, missing it as it came down, and it landed on the floor with a muffled thump. Joanne couldn't help laughing at him. "Perhaps not. She's liable to put holes in the ceiling with that thing."

"Oh, here we go." Johnny picked up a puppet, one Joanne recognized from The Muppet Show. He put it over his hand and immediately grabbed Joanne's arm. "AN-I-MAL, RAAARRRR."

Joanne really had a good laugh then, rubbing at her arm. "Maybe I'll buy that for you."

Johnny turned the puppet's face toward his own, his expression as animated as the puppet, and he suddenly grabbed his own nose, pretending to be under attack.

A woman turned the corner and started down the aisle, frowning and shaking her head as she spotted the two of them. They must have looked terribly silly, but at the moment, Joanne didn't care.

"Okay, okay." Johnny seemed equally amused as he put the puppet down. "Suppose we'd better actually find these kids a few things, huh?"

This was fun, Joanne had to admit. And once again, Joanne suspected that Johnny had been somewhat deprived of a normal childhood, but she was loathe to bring it up. Not while he was obviously having such a good time.

"What about this?" Johnny pulled down a box. "Fashion Plates? Does that seem like something Jenny would be into?"

It was touching, really, how invested Johnny was in getting this right. Joanne took the package from Johnny and looked it over. "You know what? I think she might enjoy this very much."

Johnny's face relaxed into a slight smile. "And maybe an Erector set for Chris. Give him something else to build with besides Legos."

"That would give him a lot of possibilities." Joanne agreed.

There was a children's book section, and they both perused the section. "You think Jenny wants to read more horse stories?"

"She might."

Johnny picked up a copy of Misty of Chincoteague and started flipping through the pages. "This looks kinda interesting. Maybe I can read it to them after we get through Black Beauty."

Something seemed to occur to him, and he looked over at Joanne. "I'm doing it again, huh?"

"What?" Joanne wasn't sure she followed his train of thought.

Johnny closed the book, still holding it in his hand. "You know, doing more than I should."

Joanne placed a hand on his arm. "If you were, I would surely let you know. You're doing enough."

She sighed softly. "We both knew this would be a difficult time. The first holidays after someone dies are the hardest, or so I hear."

Johnny nodded, still looking troubled as he scanned the selection of books before choosing one for Chris. "Check this out. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Man, I loved this one when I was his age."

"I think he would enjoy that very much." Joanne replied softly.

"Okay." Johnny nodded. "Suppose that's enough, right?"

"Oh, I think so." Joanne told him. "Between both sets of grandparents and you and my sister, they'll have quite a bit to open."

Johnny's expression was sober as they went to the register and paid for the items before heading back out to the Rover.

He started it up, and the tape started playing again. It was one that Roy would often sing along with, even if he was playing it in the car with the kids in the back seat. He'd reach over and take her hand, giving her that warm smile, and Joanne would melt.

Johnny suddenly looked over at her while they were at a stop light. "Hey, you want me to fast forward through this one?"

"Oh, goodness, no." Joanne started to dig through her purse for a tissue. "I'm just having a fit of sentimentality. Don't mind me."

Johnny reached over and popped out the tape, and they drove the rest of the way back to Joanne's in silence. Honestly, Joanne was somewhat grateful. It seemed that every time she thought she was turning a corner, getting past Roy's death and getting used to handling things on her own, something else would remind her of him.

He pulled into the driveway and shut off the Rover before speaking. "Jo?"

Joanne turned to take in his concerned expression. She tried to smile at him, though she was sure it wasn't quite showing. "If you're going to apologize again, please don't. You know how it is."

"Suppose you're right." Johnny nodded. "You still want some help with the tree?"

"Of course."

They both climbed down from the Rover, and Johnny pulled the tree from the back while Joanne grabbed the wreath and let them into the house. "I'll get the tree stand. I think I left it up in the attic." She told him.

Soon she returned with the tree stand, and held the tree while Johnny adjusted it until it stood straight and tall, filling the room with the piney, citrusy scent.

It was definitely starting to feel a lot more like Christmas now.

"Looks pretty good." Johnny commented casually. "I'll check the lights if you want. You know, before we put them on."

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Joanne answered as she switched out the album on the turntable. The soft sounds of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir soon filled the room.

Johnny smiled ever so slightly as he went through the lights. "Reminds me of when I was a kid, my first Christmas when it was just me and my aunt. I was having a hard time, just like Chris and Jenny. She put me in charge of stringing popcorn for the tree. We didn't have much in the way of decorations, but we always had popcorn. Anyway, she'd put this on while I made popcorn strings, and she'd sing along. She's got a real nice voice. Definitely didn't get any singing ability from her."

Joanne couldn't help smiling at that as she unpacked ornaments. "That sounds lovely."

"Yeah, we didn't have much when I was growing up. But she sure made that first Christmas special." His voice went a little soft at the end, and he let out a sigh. "Suppose I'm trying to do the same for Chris and Jenny."

"I suppose you'll be spending your Christmas with your aunt, then." Joanne ventured.

Johnny shook his head. "I usually go see her for New Year's. Something we started back when I first started with the department and it was tough for me to make it there for Christmas."

That explains a lot, Joanne thought. "Well, you could always come over here."

Johnny smiled at that. "You mean like I usually do?"

"I mean…I think we're going to do Christmas a little differently this year." Joanne told him. "Everyone seems to want us over for Christmas, and the kids and I decided we'd rather just stay home in our pajamas all day."

Johnny seemed to consider that before nodding. "Sounds great."

The door banged open and both kids came rushing in. "Mom! Guess what!"

"What, Jenny?"

Jenny rushed to Joanne and hugged her tightly. "We got so much for you. And Uncle Johnny, too. But I can't tell you because it's a surprise."

"Oh, that's lovely." Joanne told her. "I can't wait to open them."

Chris came in behind her and hugged Joanne. "We went to the cemetery, too."

Joanne was mildly appalled, looking at her mother. "You did, did you?"

"Uh-huh." Chris nodded. "Grandma says we should see where Dad's buried."

"I see." Joanne took a deep breath and exhaled. It wasn't that she didn't want the kids to see Roy's gravesite. She just thought that she should be the one to take them when the time was right.

"We left him some flowers." Jenny chimed in. "Grandma says that's what you're supposed to do. But I couldn't remember what kind of flowers Dad liked."

"That's okay, sweetheart." Joanne told her before crossing over to her mother.

Her mother tilted her chin in that way she did when she was absolutely sure she was right, and it was taking everything Joanne had at the moment not to tear into her. "Mom, why did you have to do that? Why couldn't you just let them have a pleasant day? They're having a hard enough time as it is."

"They should know where he's buried." Her mother replied firmly. "We just went to pay our respects."

"I was going to take them myself when the time was right." Joanne told her sharply. "I don't appreciate you…taking over."

She knew she was going to hurt her mother's feelings, but Joanne didn't care at the moment.

Her mother didn't respond, merely glancing over at Johnny, who was still working on the lights while talking to the kids. "Has he been here the whole time we've been gone?"

"We went to pick out a tree, and then we went shopping." Joanne replied. "That's all."

"It just doesn't seem proper, having that man in your house." Her mother answered, the disapproval in her tone clear. "After all, if it weren't for him—"

"If it weren't for him, I would be falling apart." Joanne broke in. "Johnny's a good man, Mom. He's been a very good friend to us."

"You know how men like him are." Her mother sniffed. "They take advantage of lonely, vulnerable women like you."

"He's not like that at all." Joanne replied quietly, hoping Johnny didn't hear the exchange. "If you really knew him, you wouldn't say such things."

Her mother pressed her lips together before speaking again. "Have you decided yet where you're going for Christmas?"

Joanne folded her arms over her chest. "Actually, we've decided to stay home this year."

"Oh." Her mother frowned. "Will he be here?"

"Possibly." Joanne told her. "And if he is, that's none of your business."

"Well, then I suppose it's settled. Jennifer, Christopher? I'm getting ready to leave."

Both kids trotted over to hug her and say their goodbyes before trotting back over to help Johnny with the tree lights. Her mother reached out to hug Joanne tightly. "You have time to change your mind. Just let me know. I love you."

"I love you too." Joanne sighed. "And thank you for taking them shopping."

Her mother nodded firmly before leaving, and as soon as the door swung closed, Joanne let out a heavy sigh, feeling a twinge of a headache coming on.

"Mom, look at the tree!" Jenny called out excitedly. "Isn't it pretty?"

"Yes, it's very pretty." Joanne replied, rubbing her temple. "I'll be right back to help."

She went into the kitchen and filled a glass of water at the sink before opening the aspirin bottle and shaking out two tablets, swallowing them and closing her eyes for a long moment.

Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her and felt a pair of hands kneading her shoulders. "Should I leave?" Johnny asked.

"No, of course not." Joanne replied, feeling the tension melt away under Johnny's touch. "My mother just has her own opinions, that's all."

Johnny's hands slid over her shoulders and his arms wrapped around her as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "So does your daughter. Has it in her head that I should come over Christmas Eve."

Joanne rested a hand on Johnny's arm. "You can if you want. I think It's A Wonderful Life will be on TV."

"If you want me here, I'll be here." Johnny told her. "Whatever you want."

Joanne turned around, leaning against the sink and taking Johnny's hands in hers. "I want you here. And it sounds like the kids do, too."

Johnny smiled ever so slightly, squeezing Joanne's hands. "Then it's settled. See you Christmas Eve."

"Uncle Johnny!" Jenny called out. "Come see the tree!"

They both returned to the living room. The lights were on the tree, and the kids had hung up quite possibly every ornament Joanne owned, and Joanne was sure the branches would bend under the weight.

Chris was holding the ornament from the station in his hands. "What's this one?"

"That's the one your dad made for the station." Johnny told him. "See, the first year we were all stationed together, our captain had us make our own ornaments, and then we hung it on the tree there."

Chris looked sober as he studied it. "He's not there anymore."

"Right." Johnny replied quietly. "I gave it to your mom to put on your tree."

Chris nodded, then went back over to the tree and found a branch to hang the ornament on. "How's that?"

Joanne could feel the tears prick her eyelids, and she took a deep breath. "I think that's the perfect place for it."

"Yeah." Johnny agreed, his voice rough. "Perfect."

"Uncle Johnny, you have to put the star on top." Jenny told him. "That was Dad's job."

Johnny nodded, picking up the star and pushing himself up on tip toe to reach the top of the tree in order to attach it.

He stepped back and kneeled down. "Okay, ready for me to plug in the lights?"

"Yes!" Both kids chorused.

Johnny plugged in the lights, and the whole tree sparkled with brightly colored lights. Joanne couldn't help but remember Christmases past, when she and Roy and the kids had done exactly this, and she couldn't help blinking away the tears in her eyes.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Doing okay?"

Joanne placed a hand over Johnny's. "You know what? I think so. It's almost like he's here."

"Yeah." Johnny responded softly. "It kinda is."

It wouldn't be an ideal Christmas, but Joanne would still be surrounded by those she loved, even those who could only be here in spirit. It would be okay.