Joanne took a seat at her vanity table and studied herself in the mirror. The house was quiet now that the children were off with Eileen for the night, and even though Eileen had assured her that there was nothing wrong with accepting this date, Joanne couldn't help the misgivings she felt.

It wasn't too late to cancel, was it? She could simply call Alan, beg off, and enjoy a quiet evening to herself.

No, this was silly. It was normal to be nervous. After all, this was her first real date since Roy's death. Well, perhaps that wasn't strictly true. Johnny had taken her to the Ladies' Auxiliary fundraiser all those months ago, hadn't he?

But they hadn't gone out on a date since then. There had been plenty of occasions when they had all gone somewhere as a family, many a Saturday night when they had gone to bed together after the children were asleep, but they hadn't gone out on their own.

No wonder Joanne felt so conflicted over accepting this date with Alan.

She sighed heavily and finished getting ready, applying a dab of perfume before rising from the vanity table. It was just one dinner. If it went poorly, she could put it behind her and perhaps have a funny story to tell afterward.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie, and she went to answer, opening it to reveal Alan. He greeted her with a warm smile and a nod. "Good evening, Joanne. You look lovely."

The warmth started to creep up her neck and face, and Joanne hoped it didn't show. "Thank you. Please come in. I won't be but a moment."

She stepped back slightly to let him in, and took a moment to take him in. He was dressed nearly as neatly as he had been the day he hit her car, with the addition of a tie and a jacket, and he wore it as naturally as Roy used to wear his uniform or a pair of jeans.

Alan was a handsome man, certainly, tall and slender, his light brown hair styled neatly in place, his eyes glancing around the room as if taking it all in with seemingly great interest. "You have a lovely home, Joanne."

"Thank you." Joanne responded as she found her purse and slipped it over her shoulder. "It's not much, but it suits us."

"I disagree." Alan replied as they left. "About it being not much, that is."

Joanne locked the door and took Alan's offered arm as they walked to his car. He opened the passenger side door, and she slid inside. The smell of leather hit her nose immediately, and it occurred to Joanne that perhaps she was a bit out of her depth.

Alan climbed in on the driver's side, closing the door and starting the car. The soft sounds of classical music filled the car, and Alan immediately moved to turn down the volume. "My apologies. At times the spirit of the music moves me."

"Oh, I don't mind." Joanne told him. "It's lovely."

"I appreciate a woman of culture." Alan responded with that same quick smile as he backed out of the driveway and started down the street. "I'm a season ticket holder for the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Have you ever been?"

"Once." Joanne laughed softly. "Roy took me for our anniversary a few years ago. Let's just say he was not nearly as enthusiastic as I was."

"A pity." Alan answered. "I'm sure he had other noble qualities."

Joanne wasn't sure she should mention the tickets Johnny had bought for her. She decided to keep that to herself for the time being. "Oh, of course he did. But I'm sure you didn't invite me out to talk about him."

Alan shrugged, looking thoughtful as he wove through traffic. "I often speak of my wife. She was very important to me, as I'm sure Roy was to you."

Joanne rubbed at her empty ring finger out of habit, pausing when she caught herself. "Yes, he certainly was."

Alan pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant, and Joanne once again felt a bit out of place. It seemed like a rather fancy option for a first date, but she supposed her perspective was a bit different from Alan's. For all she knew, this was perfectly normal for him.

She set her doubts aside as Alan rounded the front end of the car and opened her door for her, offering his hand as she stepped out of the car. So far, he certainly seemed to behave like a gentleman, at least. Perhaps she was worrying needlessly.

"Good evening." The host greeted them coolly. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes." Alan answered firmly. "Two for Richardson."

The host pulled a pair of menus and nodded in response. "Follow me."

They were seated at a table, and Alan immediately started perusing the wine list. "I'll order a bottle for us, unless you'd prefer something else."

Joanne thought about that for a moment. "I enjoy red wine, but I'm afraid it doesn't like me very much. It gives me a terrible headache."

Alan handed her the list. "In that case, you should order something you like."

Joanne took the list and started looking it over. As she suspected, the prices were truly eye-popping. She handed it back to Alan. "Water will be just fine."

Alan looked baffled as he took back the list. "Joanne, I insist. I assure you that I'm good for it."

"Oh, I'm sure you are. That's not…" Joanne paused before continuing. "I know it must seem so silly, but… you see, my husband was a fireman, and I was a housewife. Money was always a little tight. Not unmanageable by any means, we just had to watch our finances carefully."

Alan smiled slightly and nodded. "I assure you that I do the same. Therefore, I insist that you order what you like, not what you think you should have."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…oh, I don't know what I'm saying." Joanne finished with a sigh.

"Joanne, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I truly do." Alan replied gently. "It's quite refreshing, considering the kind of people I deal with all day long. Being a divorce lawyer does color one's perspective, I suppose."

"I can only imagine." Joanne responded. "I suppose we are from different worlds, aren't we?"

"That doesn't mean we can't get along." Alan pointed out. "We already have a fondness for classical music in common. I have no doubt that we'll find other common interests as well. At any rate, please order what you want. I insist."

The waitress soon arrived, and Joanne forced herself to make a decision. "I'll take a glass of the Chardonnay, please."

She nodded and turned to Alan. "And for you, sir?"

"Old Bushmills and water, please." Alan replied.

"I'll be right back with your drinks." The waitress told them before disappearing.

Joanne turned her attention to the food menu and again found herself overwhelmed. Too many choices, and again, those prices made her wince.

She glanced up to catch Alan's amused expression, feeling the heat rush to her face again. "I'm sorry. Everything looks delicious."

"I must confess that I find myself choosing the same thing over and over." Alan replied. "Perhaps I should branch out a little. Although, I've never had a bad steak here."

The waitress returned with their drinks and set each in front of them. "Are you ready to order?"

Joanne finally made a decision and closed the menu. "Chicken Marsala, please."

"And what would you like for your side?"

"Oh." Joanne opened the menu again, scanning through the side dishes. "Mashed potatoes, I suppose."

The waitress nodded, turning to Alan. "And for you, sir?"

"Rib-eye, rare, with a baked potato."

He reached for both menus and handed them to the waitress with a kindly smile, and she disappeared again. With that, he turned his attention back to Joanne. "So much for branching out, I suppose."

"If you find something you like, I suppose there's no need to branch out if you don't want to."

Alan seemed to consider that as he took a drink from his glass. "Still, it can be good to try something new. Like calling you, for instance."

"Oh?" Joanne couldn't help teasing him a little. "You don't often call up women after hitting their cars?"

Alan's head dipped slightly, and he let out a low chuckle. "Joanne, I haven't enjoyed a woman's company since my wife died. But there was something about you that made me want to call you, and not just because I felt bad for hitting your car."

Joanne sobered at that. "I see."

Alan reached across and rested his hand lightly over hers. "You remind me of her, just a little."

"I'm not sure that's such a good thing."

Alan looked thoughtful before shaking his head. "You remind me of the best parts of her. She had this…light and spirit about her that I see in you."

He pulled back with a slight frown. "Forgive me. Perhaps I am being a bit forward."

"No, I don't think you are." Joanne answered carefully. "And I'm flattered, but you don't know me well enough to say that."

"I'd like to." Alan answered quietly, a hint of a smile on his face. "If you'll allow me, that is."

Joanne took a deep breath and exhaled softly. "It's only been…well, not quite a year since Roy died. I must admit I wasn't looking for anyone."

That was mostly the truth, Joanne thought, although she wasn't sure how to explain the time she'd spent with Johnny. She wasn't sure she should mention that to Alan at all. No, explaining him as a friend of the family was more than sufficient.

Wasn't it?

"It's funny how life works." Alan responded. "Sometimes things just fall right into your lap when you're not looking."

Joanne couldn't help smiling a little at that, picking up her wine glass. "I'll drink to that."

"Indeed." Alan's smile broadened as he clinked glasses with Joanne's.

Their meals soon arrived, and they made more general conversation throughout the meal. Joanne found herself greatly enjoying Alan's company. Soon the subject turned once again to their respective spouses.

"I always worried about him, of course." Joanne was telling Alan. "But I knew that he and Johnny would always look out for each other. I suppose it was inevitable that either his or Johnny's luck would run out. We just always assumed it would be Johnny."

She found herself swallowing hard, her mind flashing back to that night, when Johnny had wrapped her up in his turnout coat, doing his best to comfort her while grieving his own loss. It seemed simultaneously long ago and as if it had just happened yesterday.

"I'm sorry." Joanne told Alan after taking a moment to collect herself. "There are just times when it all comes rushing back. Maybe I shouldn't have come out with you after all."

"Joanne." Alan's voice was soft as he reached across the table for her hand, his fingers curling around hers. "Grief has no timeline. I find myself going home after a long day with a ridiculous story that I can't wait to share with Sabrina. And then I remember."

"Sabrina." Joanne spoke carefully. "Your wife."

"Yes, my wife." Alan smiled a little, stroking the back of Joanne's hand with his thumb. "One of the brightest women I ever knew. In a different time, perhaps she would have been a lawyer herself. But, times being what they were, she became a law secretary at the firm while I climbed the ladder to partner. And when we had Michelle, well, it was only natural that she would retire to the home. I never would have gotten as far as I had without her."

Joanne squeezed Alan's hand in response. "You must miss her terribly."

"I do." Alan nodded. "Ovarian cancer is a terrible disease. By the time she was diagnosed there was nothing to be done. The best we could do was keep her comfortable."

"And now it's just you and your daughter."

"Yes." Alan smiled, releasing Joanne's hand. "I am fortunate. I have an excellent nanny, and I've cut back on my workload significantly to take care of her. But it's not the same as having her mother."

"It certainly isn't." Joanne agreed. "Johnny, well, he's long been part of our family. The children call him Uncle Johnny. He's been such a help ever since Roy died, always making sure to show up for the children's activities and fixing up things around the house and…he's done so much for us."

Alan studied her from across the table. "Perhaps there's a reason for that."

Joanne knew there were many reasons. "Honestly, I know he cares about us. But he still feels guilty, as if he could have prevented Roy's death somehow. I don't think he's gotten over losing him."

"They were close, too." It was a statement, not a question.

"As close as brothers." Joanne replied softly.

"It must be hard for him, too."

"I know it is." Joanne answered. "He's too stubborn to admit it most of the time. It comes out in bursts."

Alan nodded. "Even when I knew there was nothing to be done, I still thought, in the back of my mind, that there must have been something more, some way I could have known sooner. Maybe I could have saved her."

He reached out again and took Joanne's hand. "But perhaps we would not be sitting here today if that were the case. I would have apologized for the accident, and we would have gone our separate ways."

"That's one way to look at it, I suppose."

Alan shrugged. "I have had time to think about these things. It makes me a bit philosophical."

"Perhaps I'll get there, too."

"I am sure you will, Joanne." Alan squeezed her hand and released it again as the waitress came to clear their plates.

"Have either of you saved room for dessert?" She asked.

Alan looked at Joanne. "They have an excellent crème brulee. Would you like to share it with me?"

"I don't believe I've ever had that." Joanne answered. "Of course I'll share with you."

Alan turned back to the waitress. "There's your answer. One crème brulee, two spoons and two plates."

"I'll bring that right out."

It didn't take long for the waitress to bring the crème brulee and set it on the table between them. Alan hit the top with the spoon, and it cracked into pieces, revealing the creamy contents beneath.

"It's a simple vanilla custard with a caramelized sugar topping." Alan explained as he dished up. "But when done correctly, the simple can be divine."

Joanne accepted the plate and the spoon, scraping up a bite. True to Alan's explanation, the crunch of the hard sugar combined with the smooth custard was indeed divine.

"You are enjoying it." Alan's voice brought her back.

"It is very good." Joanne replied, that warmth rushing to her face again.

"I agree." Alan nodded. "I'm always glad for the simple things that bring me pleasure."

They talked briefly during dessert, and soon the waitress brought the bill to the table. Alan tucked a card inside and placed cash on the table. Once he signed the bill and tucked his card back in his wallet, they rose from the table, and he once again offered his arm as they made their way to the parking lot.

Alan opened her door to let her in before rounding the front end of the car and climbing back in, starting it up and pulling out of the parking lot. That soft classical music started playing again, and Joanne found herself humming along softly.

"The Philharmonic has a concert coming up soon." Alan suddenly spoke up. "If you're interested, I would greatly enjoy your company."

Now was as good a time as any to mention the tickets, Joanne supposed. "Johnny gave me a pair of tickets for the Philharmonic for Christmas. He told me to take whoever I want."

Alan seemed confused. "Does he not want to go?"

"He's not much into that kind of music." Joanne explained. "I mean, he would go if I asked him, but I don't think he'd enjoy it. He's more into rock than anything else."

"I see." Alan turned into Joanne's driveway. "How do you feel about the opera?"

"I've never been." Joanne replied.

"I think you would enjoy it." Alan told her with that little smile as he shut off the car. "I'll walk you to your door."

They both climbed out of the car and met as Alan rounded the front end of his car, and she took his offered arm as they walked up to the porch.

"Joanne, I had a lovely time with you." Alan told her, taking both of her hands in his. "And I would very much like to see you again. That is, if you'd like to."

Joanne took a deep breath and exhaled, curling her fingers over his. "I think I'd like that."

Alan's face lit up in a wide smile. "Excellent. I'll call you next week."

"And I'll check the date on those Philharmonic tickets." Joanne replied. "Good night, Alan. And thank you for such a lovely evening."

"The pleasure was all mine, Joanne." Alan leaned down and briefly kissed her cheek. "Good night."

With that, he lightly squeezed her hands before letting them go, and he started back to his car, starting it up and seeming to wait for a moment.

Of course. He was going to wait until she was inside before he left.

Joanne gave him a quick wave and found her keys, letting herself into the house. She could see the headlights behind her as Alan backed out of the driveway and started back down the street.

She closed the door behind her with a sigh, leaning against it. It had been a lovely evening, and she was looking forward to seeing Alan again.

She just didn't know how she was going to explain it to Johnny.