It's been taking me a while to figure out the direction I want to go with some of these chapters, but hopefully this chapter is worth the wait!

(Soda's POV)

I kept restlessly falling in and out of sleep. Flashes of a Soc hurting or killing my brothers played out in front of me, but I was always slow to help them or escape the torture. The scenes would blur into one another, so I was constantly watching my brothers in danger and still being unable to do anything. Even when I was sort of awake, I felt kind of funny, then I'd fall back asleep before I even opened my eyes, only to be tortured again by my subconscious.

Finally, when I fully woke up, I could tell my whole body was aching, especially my stomach, and even with my eyes closed, everything somehow seemed foggy. It was like my brain was cluttered with clouds or something, which didn't make sense because you can't have clouds inside your head, right?

"You wakin' up again, Soda?" Steve asked, his voice sounding really clear, despite the foggy conditions I found myself in. I felt his hand on my upper arm, which helped ground me and reassure me that I was really awake.

Again? It took a few seconds to remember that I had seen Steve sitting in a chair next to me while I was lying in a bed. Wait, am I still in a hospital bed? I opened my eyes and looked sideways to spot my best friend still sitting in a chair. Yeah, I'm still I a hospital bed. I guess that's what happens when you get stabbed.

"I'm awake," my voice sounding gravelly. Steve took his hand away, and I couldn't help but notice that he looked a little relieved once I spoke.

After a moment, I started remembering the previous conversation that Steve and I had. I could recall what he said about Pony and Darry, and I fought against my emotions in order to pretend to be strong and tough. Don't think about it. Just focus on Steve.

I immediately noticed how tired Steve looked, and I wondered how long I had been asleep. Bruises had formed on his skin, and the look in his eyes gave away how exhausted and stressed he was, despite his well-practiced poker face that he displayed. I figured on top of all of that, Steve was probably bored out of his mind if all he was doing was sitting in a chair, watching me sleep, without getting a second of sleep himself.

"You okay? You were kinda fidgety in your sleep," he said casually, although I could tell he was worried.

I let out a sigh, which burned my ribcage. I ignored it. "I'll be fine."

I could tell Steve knew I was hiding something, but he didn't press. Instead, he changed the subject. "You up for some more visitors?"

Are any of those visitors my brothers? "Sure. Who's it all gonna be?" I asked, hoping my voice didn't give away how desperate I was to see my brothers.

"Ponyboy and the guys. Two-Bit's signing the papers to get the kid of out of a hospital bed," Steve said with a small grin on his face. I knew Pony was hurt, but did I know he was in a hospital bed? I didn't have time to think too much or try to remember because Steve continued. "Darry's out of surgery, but he's still unconscious and he ain't allowed to have visitors yet. They're watching him real close."

I nodded silently. Darry's still alive, and Pony will be in here soon; then I can at least keep an eye on him.

Before either of us had a chance to say something else, there was movement in the doorway that drew my attention. I turned away from Steve and spotted three people standing in the doorway: Dally, Johnny, and my kid brother, who had tears in his eyes.

Pony looked real roughed up. He had bruises and cuts all over that were pretty normal after a rumble, but the sling holding his arm and the terrified look on his face seemed out of place for my little brother. He shouldn't look like this. He should be at home, sleeping.

"Soda!" Pony choked out, then he immediately rushed towards me.

I spread my arms out, ready for a tight, brotherly embrace. I expected the pain in my ribs to skyrocket, but Pony needed me more than I needed to worry about myself. However, when Pony practically dove into my chest and started sobbing, I couldn't help but wince at the lightning bolt of pain that shot through my torso. Still, I didn't let go of my baby brother.

Steve put a hand on Pony's shoulder and scolded him gently. "He's hurt too, kid. You gotta ease up."

"It's fine," I muttered to Steve, who just rolled his eyes at me and let it go.

"Hey Soda," Dally said as he and Johnny walked into the room. The two of them stopped at the foot of the bed, and it felt like they were watching me carefully, like I'd disappear or something. "How ya feelin'?"

I tried to shrug, but I couldn't move much with my kid brother latched onto me like a monkey. "I've been better," I said with a smirk.

I saw a shy grin appear on Johnny's face, and I was glad I could get that terrified look off his face, even if just for a second. Meanwhile, Dally snorted before replying. "Yeah, I bet you have. Jesus, I can't believe you got stabbed man."

"Dal," Johnny warned quietly, but it was too late; Dally's words already had an effect on my brother.

Pony let out a loud sob and his body shook even more, almost like he was shivering. I tightened my arms around him, and gave Dally a mild glare. Sure, everyone knew what happened, but we didn't need to remind my baby brother, who obviously was having a rough time. I knew he'd hate that the guys saw him being so vulnerable, but he didn't have a reason to be embarrassed. Plus, if any of the guys mentioned anything about Ponyboy crying, I'd pummel them.

"Can you guys give us a minute?" I asked, looking at all three of the guys.

To his credit, Dally seemed slightly regretful for upsetting Pony even more, so he just nodded and led Johnny into the hallway. Steve seemed reluctant to leave, but after he glanced at Pony, he seemed to finally understand because he got up slowly. "I'll get you guys something to eat."

"Thanks," I said genuinely. Honestly, I hadn't thought about food, but I figured Pony would need something to eat, so I was glad Steve was thinking ahead for me.

Once we were alone, I started rocking Pony a little and attempted to reassure him. "Shh, it's okay, honey. I'm alright. We're gonna be alright."

Eventually, Pony relaxed and pulled away from me slightly, just enough for his green eyes to look into my brown ones. "Soda, I… I didn't… I-"

"Just breathe, honey," I said calmly. "I need you to breathe."

He nodded and kept wiping the tears away from his eyes. After another minute or two, he pulled away from me a little more and eased into the chair next to my bed. Finally, his breathing became steady and he could form full sentences between sniffles. "I didn't know if you'd… you sure were bleedin' a lot."

I cringed as I thought about what Pony had been through. He saw me get stabbed and Darry get shot, then he was there when Two-Bit sped us towards the hospital. And he had a bullet slice his arm too. I reached towards him so I could ruffle his hair, trying to get him to lighten up.

"But I'm okay. I guess I had some blood to spare, huh?" I tried to joke, but Pony wasn't having it. His eyes darkened a little, and he looked like he was either about to start sobbing again, or punch me.

"That ain't funny. You don't get it Soda," he started, and it was hard to believe it was my kid brother that was talking because he sounded so distant and aged. "The doctor said if Steve hadn't been pushing down on our stomach, you wouldn't have made it. Same with Darry if Dally hadn't kept his blood from spillin' out." He covered his mouth as he choked back another sob, and it suddenly looked like he was turning a pale shade of green. "You almost died Soda."

I froze. Steve told me about surgery and me bleeding and everything… but did he say anything about me almost dying? Glory, what have I missed? Or am I just forgetting everything?

I couldn't remember, but I didn't have time to worry about what could have been because right in front of me, Ponyboy looked like he was about to break down again. I put my hand on his good shoulder and looked right into his eyes, making him focus on me. "I'm okay, Pony. Ain't no way I was gonna leave you, you hear?" I waited until he nodded before I said anything else. "The doctor stitched me up real good, and I'll be out of here in no time," I said with a grin. I honestly had no idea when I'd be allowed to leave, but I hoped it wouldn't be too long.

Pony gave me a disbelieving look. "They took out some of your liver, Soda. I don't think they let you leave after just one day."

I laughed a little, ignoring the pain in my stomach. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe two days then." Pony grinned a little, but he didn't quite laugh. He was still obviously troubled and I wasn't sure how to make him feel better, which is usually what I'm best at. He didn't say anything, so I decided to move the subject from me to him. "Are you okay, Pony? How's your arm?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly, not meeting my eyes. Instead, he just looked down at his sling. "Didn't even know I was bleeding until you and Darry were brought in," he spat angrily.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Why do you sound so ma-"

"Because it should have been me!" Pony yelled, suddenly able to meet my eyes. Tears were falling down his cheeks again, but he didn't bother wiping them away. "You and Darry both got hurt, even though that Soc was going after me!" He choked out another sob, and I could practically feel my heart break. "You both almost died, and for all I know, Darry still might! I know it's bad, but nobody's telling me anything, and it's all my fault!"

Without hesitation, I pulled Pony's good shoulder towards me so I could hug him again. It was an awkward position, with him being half sitting on the chair and half leaning into me, but neither of us minded. "Please don't ever say that again, Pony. It should never be you. We did what we did to protect you. It's what big brothers do."

"I didn't want you to get hurt… either of you," Pony cried. His voice was getting quieter, and I was pretty sure that meant he was calming down.

"I know, honey," I said softly as I rubbed circles on his back. We stayed like that for a minute before my aching body told me I had to move into a different position. "Hey Pony, you wanna sit up here with me? It'll be a little more comfortable."

He leaned back so he was mostly sitting on the chair, then he looked at my with his red-rimmed eyes. "I don't wanna hurt you."

I waved a hand at him dismissively. "I'm fine. Here," I said before I inched over to the other side, forcing myself not to show any sign of pain or discomfort. Then I patted the free space next to me. "C'mon."

He was reluctant, but eventually, Pony took me up on my offer. As soon as he settled next to me, I grinned at him. "See? Didn't hurt at all."

"We're lucky Darry ain't here to yell at us 'bout not using our heads," he joked. "He'd be mad that I'm takin' up all the room in your hospital bed."

I gave him my best impression of Two-Bit's wild grin. "Well we don't gotta tell him, do we?"

We both grinned, and it seemed like we were both about to laugh, but at the same time, we both remembered that our big brother was still in poor condition, so we were silent. The room immediately seemed to get cold and sad.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Pony asked in a scared voice that reminded me just how young he was.

I wanted to tell him Darry would be fine. I wanted to tell him that Darry would be out of the hospital in just a couple days, and he'd be mad it took even that long. I wanted to lie to him, but I couldn't.

I had to tell him what Steve told me.

"You know Darry's real tough, right?" I asked. He must've known I wasn't going to give him the answer he wanted, because the innocent, childish green eyes of his dulled as soon as I started. Even so, he nodded slightly. "And you know he's gonna fight to stay with us, right?"

Again, Pony nodded, but he managed to say a few words too. "What are you trying to say Soda?"

My kid brother is too smart and he knows me too well. He knows something's up.

I took a breath, and started to explain. "You already know Darry was shot," I said. The words burned as they left my mouth. My big brother got shot. I pushed the feelings aside and kept going. "A bullet hit his lung, and another went in his leg. Steve said he stopped breathing a few times since we got here."

To my surprise, Pony didn't react much other than look down at his sling again. "I know. The doctor told us." He sniffled, then rubbed his eyes, not meeting my gaze. "When he said Darry might not make it out of surgery, I kinda lost it… broke down and everything. That's when they gave me meds the first time and knocked me out. They've been giving me a little at a time so I can stay calm, but I think since I'm discharged, I'm not getting it anymore."

I raised my eyebrows, but I tried not to show any other emotion; not that it would matter since my brother wasn't even looking at me. I vaguely remembered Steve saying something about Pony freaking out and needing medicine, but I couldn't recall enough to know what caused it, let alone any of the smaller details.

Once my surprised wore off, I continued onto the more difficult stuff. "So you know Darry's out of surgery?" I asked hesitantly.

Pony nodded, still looking down. "Yeah. Doc said that was the first hurdle, and he has a lot more of them. That's also when he said you and Darry wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for the guys savin' you."

I flinched at that. That isn't going to make what I'm about to say any easier. "Ponyboy…" I trailed off.

Either the tone of my voice or the fact that I used his full name must've told him something was wrong, because Pony slowly moved to meet my eyes. He looked like he was already on the verge of bawling again, and I felt awful that I was going to be the one to cause it. "Soda… what is it?"

I took a steadying breath and tried to deliver the news as gently as I possibly could. "Even though we got a miracle and Darry made it out of surgery, there's a chance he doesn't wake up. He might not get better, Pony." I took another breath. "He might not make it out of this hospital."

My brothers had their differences, but it was always clear to me that they loved each other, and it was never more obvious than the look of pure anguish on Pony's face when I told him that Darry might not survive.

Ever since our parents died, Darry and Pony argued practically nonstop, but before that, they were almost as close as Pony and me. Darry loved Pony and he was always up for helping our kid brother with school or sports, and Pony idolized Darry and followed him around everywhere, especially when we were younger. These days, they were always shouting at each other, one of them was too strict and the other was always losing his head in the clouds, but I knew they still loved each other, and deep down, I think they did too.

Pony continued to stare at me, completely unchanged. I thought time froze, but he finally blinked, then his mouth moved. "No."

He's in denial.

"I know it's hard to hear," I said as I gently wrapped my arm around him. I wanted to comfort him, but I also didn't want him to take off and run away. "And I'm sure Darry and the doctors are doing everything they can, but sometimes it's not up to us, you dig?"

His head started shaking side-to-side. "No," he repeated a little louder.

"Honey," I started, but my voice cracked, and I couldn't manage to say anything else without my emotions getting the best of me. Darry was always better than me at keeping his emotions in check.

Pony looked terrified as he continued to stare at me. "He's gonna be fine. He has to be fine!" I instantly wrapped both of my arms around him, and his emotions started flowing out once again. "He can't die. Not because of me."

"None of this is because of you," I said softly. I wanted to hug him tighter, but I didn't want to hurt his shoulder anymore either, so I stayed right where I was. "Darry made his choice, just like I did. Nothing is on you, alright?"

"But he can't… Soda, what will we do?" Pony cried out.

I put a hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer to me, still being mindful of his shoulder injury. "He's gonna keep fighting, Pony. He ain't gone yet, and you better believe he won't go without one hell of a fight. But if that happens… we'll be okay. We have each other and the gang."

I knew he could hear me, but he needed to cry out the rest of his feelings, so I let him do it without saying anything else.

Several minutes passed before the tears dried up and the cries stopped, leaving Pony and me cuddling silently on my hospital bed.

Suddenly, Pony spoke so softly that I barely heard him. "I don't know how I could live with Two-Bit being our guardian. He's a good buddy, but I'm not sure about him being in charge all the time."

I let out a loud laugh at the unexpected subject change. "He wouldn't be as strict as Darry, that's for sure. I'm not sure how any of us would get anything done."

"You got that right. He already said he'd let me have all the chocolate cake I want," Pony said, and I could see a faint grin appear on his face. Then he looked at me and spoke seriously. "Did you know Darry appointed him as our guardian if something happened to him?"

I shook my head. "No. He never said anything to me, but I guess it makes sense. Darry doesn't like to leave anything up to chance or for the state to decide, and since Two-Bit is the only other adult in the gang, he was the only option."

"But how did he get the paperwork for it?" Pony asked. I could practically see the wheels in his head spinning as the logical part of his brain started working after a long break thanks to the emotional part taking over for such a long period of time. "Sure, Two-Bit's technically an adult, but he doesn't have a job or his own place. How did the state allow it?"

I had to give my little brother credit, he sure was smart. "I didn't really think too much about it."

Pony opened his mouth to say something, but Steve suddenly returned to the room, holding bags of what I assumed was food. Following Steve was Dally, Johnny, and a boisterous Two-Bit, who was saying something about me and Sleeping Beauty.

"Look, it's our guardian," Pony muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"Temporary guardian," I whispered back, barely able to stop myself from laughing. "There's still a chance we get our strict brother back. He's still fighting."