A/N To that guest reviewer who asked about Sawyer: Sawyer was sick from school that day because she had the flu. Autumn also got some medicine when she was unwell. On this chapter, this is another Jessica chapter, my depressed engine OC and she's mild-to-moderate. If she was severe, she wouldn't be able to cry, but she does cry.
The next day, Jessica pulled the Express. She overshot the platform at the last station and began to cry, huge wailing sobs so hard she could barely catch her breath. She sniffled, long and loud and her face was wet with thick tears.
One of the mean diesels said, "Jessica the cry-engine. There's the biggest cry-engine on Sodor, bawling her eyes out again. Boo-hoo!"
Jessica's driver climbed onto her running board and went to comfort his engine. "There, there, Jessica," he said, taking a cloth from his pocket and softly drying her tears. He gently rubbed her sodden cheeks and wiped her wet eyes. "You've got my support in your pain. I'm a caring and understanding person. Just go ahead and cry, because you need the comfort. Let it all out." He listened attentively to pick up on her values and cues and try to understand how much she hurt.
Jessica let out another heartfelt wail. She sniffled again, hard, coughed as she choked on her tears and hiccupped. She gasped and gulped, her eyes pouring great tears, not once stopping and as she wept, let her driver comfort her.
He said, as he continued to wipe her tears away, "I'm here for you, not to judge you or fix your mood, just to give you care and compassion and wipe your eyes. As long as you've got tears, I shall dry your tear-filled eyes. I can't ignore my feelings and feel them so very deeply. My sensitivity makes me caring and understanding. I use my awareness of my own powerful, overwhelming emotions to connect with others and their feelings. I want to be open to feelings and connect with people and their feelings through my intense internal emotions because I'm a very loving person.". He reassured her trying to not be overbearing and patiently listened and supported her as he pressed the cloth to her eyes and wiped all her tears away as best he could.
Jessica wept and wailed non-stop until she had no more tears to shed. Boo-hoo! Her driver dried her last tears away, patting rogue tears from her cheeks and dapping them from her eyes until they were dry. He went back to the cab with the tear-wet cloth and her crew gave her a drink. Poor Jessica, they thought. You've got your cotton waffle hanky all wet. Her face was all red and so were her sore and swollen eyes.
Jessica's day went on and eventually, her crew took a break. As she was sitting on a siding, she heard someone come to her. She looked at the visitor, as that's who the person was, with dead, sad eyes. "I'm Jessica," she said, in a sad, hopeless voice.
"I'm Autumn," the girl with dark brown curls and eyes said. She smiled impishly, going on to say, "I'm 11 and I visit Sodor." and climbed on Jessica's buffers to hug her.
Jessica began to cry, wailing sobs so hard she could barely catch her breath. Her face was covered in great tears and she sniffled loudly.
Autumn broke the hug and, pulling out her handkerchief to dry Jessica's tears, said, "There, there, Jessica. Let me wipe your eyeballs. I'm a friend of Thomas and he told me about having a depressed friend Jessica. I'm here for you, to wipe your pain away, so let it all out.". She listened attentively, trying to be there for Jessica as she imagined how her new friend must feel, as she rubbed Jessica's cheeks and wiped her teary eyes.
Jessica wailed some more. She sniffled again, hard, coughed as she choked on her tears and hiccupped. She gasped and gulped, shaking with sobs as the tears poured from her eyes, not once stopping and let Autumn comfort her.
She said, as she continued to wipe the tears away, "Whatever's happened to you, your emotion and experience are valid. Go ahead and cry. I get overwhelmed with emotion and need to cry sometimes.". She wished she had a way to find context and inspiration as she held her hanky to Jessica's eyes, letting her wail into it and wiped all her tears away as best she could.
Jessica wailed, weeping non-stop until she could cry no more. Autumn dried her last tears away, wiping her cheeks and eyes dry of tears and asked Jessica why she was so depressed, while putting her sodden handkerchief away. Then, she gave Jessica the inspiration she thought of, after she found out what happened to Jessica, as she hugged her again. I won't have a sopping wet hankie when I get back home, she thought. It'll dry as I leave Sodor, because I didn't cry into it, Jessica did.
Jessica's crew gave her a drink when they came back and her day went on. Therapy time came and Jessica's driver was on her buffers, the cloth he dried using her fire in his pocket.
Dr. Tom said, "Jessica, tell me about those who've been kind to you."
Jessica said, "My firemen have always been kind, my 2nd driver on for drivers, along with some of my fellow engines and my heritage railway's controller before. My Sodor crew, the Hatts and the nicer Sodor engines are kind to me. My heritage railway's controller wiped the tears from my eyes when my crew there were on break. There was a workman on my first railway who worked at the washdown and dried my tears with a small towel when my crew were on break. My first fireman used his handkerchief to dry my tears the first time I cried, but then he got some cotton rags. My kind drivers have always had cotton waffle cloth, with my Sodor driver calling it my cotton waffle hanky. My heritage railway's controller used his hankies, as he had a main one and then a spare. I soaked them both when he comforted me. I can't stop crying once I start. Ever since my abusive driver. Just scrap me, because I'm a Really Useless Engine who overshoots the platform and can't enjoy anything, so I've got no reason to live. I can't even concentrate or make decisions well." She began to cry and wail loudly, barely able to catch her breath. Boo-hoo!
Dr. Tom said, "Cry, Jessica. Let all the pain out your eyes in floods of tears. Don't hold back, just let it all out. Sob your eyes out, if you want. I want you to wail your heart out, because I encourage real, heartfelt tears."
Jessica's driver, "As you cry, Jessica, I shall dry your tears. Dr. Tom told me I can wipe your eyes and face when I'm with you for therapy, because when you wipe someone's tears, they cry more, except you're already wailing as hard as you can." He rubbed her sodden cheeks and wiped her weeping eyes, burning from the tears that welled up in them.
Jessica finished her cry, no more tears left and her driver dried her last tears away, wiping her cheeks and eyes until they were dry. He went back to the cab with the sodden cloth and Jessica, red-faced with sore eyes flame-red and puffy, went on with her therapy session.
Jessica's driver told Dr. Tom, "She overshot the platform at the last station when we took the Express today. This was her 3rd crying spell of the day, with overshooting the platform triggering her first, then we had one when we were on break and an 11-year-old called Autumn who visits Sodor comforted her. So, she's shed a great many tears today, with all those boohoos."
Dr. Tom said to the driver, "She cries from deep in heart and I love that. It's brilliant she can wail like that in therapy. She's splendid, so she shall do well. It may take a few months, but she'll recover and be the engine she's meant to be."
"Dr. Tom, the reason I cry and wail like that is all I ever feel is so dreadfully sad and worthless. I used to be dreamy and idealistic, but my cruel driver took all my hope and joy. I've got such a huge heart, I wail when others are sad or in pain. Things not right in the world are the worst and so are being misunderstood and unappreciated so very sad. Others being wronged and not able to be the best they can be is dreadfully sad."
Dr. Tom said, "They don't have inpatient psychiatric therapy for engines, but I can give daily therapy to those who might benefit from it, like you would get as an inpatient."
Her session went on, starting with Dr. Tom telling Jessica and her driver things they could do to lift her depression. After therapy ended, her crew gave her a drink and she finished her day. Though she still wailed herself to sleep, she tried to believe there was hope of a time she could feel something besides so sad, worthless and hopeless she cried almost all the time. Her driver comforted her and her fireman said, "I can hear the pain coming out with your tears, Jessica. Just cry and let it all out. If you wake up in tears, I shall wipe your pain away, if I find you then.". Her driver dried her last tears away as she fell asleep and left with the sodden cloth. Jessica thought, as she went to sleep, I wish I could enjoy Driver drying my tears with that soft cloth he calls my cotton waffle hanky. I blub dreadfully, but he and my fireman just rub my cheeks to wipe my tears away and also wipe my eyes dry of the burning tears. Then, she fell asleep in her shed.
A/N Jessica weeps like a child, when she wails in a depression crying spell. I think of the cloth her driver has for when she cries as basically her hanky, because as long as it's usable and she's living, it's for her tears only. Autumn's my only OC who crosses timelines. Janie died before Jessica came to Sodor, so Autumn somewhat replaces her. The latter can comfort a tender engine only when she's older than 10. I have a book about someone who's depressed in a psychiatric hospital and has daily therapy in the book, as a note to new readers of Jessica stories. That book's why she wails, as she's somewhat based on that character in things other than the reason for her depression.