Embracing His True Self

Chapter 45

"Hey, how you doing?" Harry asked Barty as the wizard caught up with him, he was currently walking down Diagon Alley, planning to head to Muggle London afterwards. He was going to return to the bookshop and find more books to aid him. The metamorphmagus potion wasn't perfect as he'd hoped, oh, it worked to an extent, but not the way he wanted it to. He was a perfectionist so he would keep it up until he did so. He wasn't desperate enough to ask for Severus' input yet. He was just being stubborn; he reckoned a few minutes with it Severus would be able to work out what exactly was missing from the potion if they brainstormed. So, stubbornness it was.

He preferred the bookstore hidden within the muggle world, it was much roomier and had a bigger selection than Flourish and Blotts. They were frequently there that the employees knew them by name. Barty had been aghast when a muggle first spoke to him, but Harry had managed to smooth it over, shy until he got to know someone. Barty was actually waving to them now. If he kept this up, he'd be pro-muggle in no time, and Voldemort would be decidedly less impressed.

"I'm good," Barty reassured Harry, "Hey, I've got tickets to see a few fights when the duelling matches pass through the UK, would you like to come with me?" he loved the duelling circuit, it was…exhilarating, there truly was nothing like it. The only thing was you didn't know who you'd get, since the matches couldn't be prescheduled, with no way of anticipating who'd win. Cursing as he stubbed his toe on one of the barrels outside of the pet shop. "Stupid bloody..." he grumbled under his breath.

"What's it like?" Harry perked up, asking as he entered the apothecary, Barty followed him. Grabbing a basket, Harry begun to gather the necessary materials he required. Both equipment – new things he wished to try and the normal items such as cauldrons and the like – as well as potion ingredients. "Have you seen today's paper?" they had been slowly edging towards broad strokes when it came to the Dumbledore article. They'd had the reporter gain trust by reporting good and very truthful reports, his articles were very good so far but they'd see how it played out when Dumbledore was really attached to one. They were just dipping their toe in so to speak.

They'd thought of getting Skeeters onside, but in the end decided against working with her. One she was all for sensationalism, two she lied and obfuscated too many times, they didn't want to risk people not believing what was being written. So, for the past month they'd had a reporter on their side go in and slowly gain readership views and build trust within the community.

"Nope, that's why I'm here," Barty grinned in his usual manner. Normally he'd read the paper that was lying around their Lord's manor. He wanted to buy the ones that mentioned Dumbledore – even if it was nothing awful yet – and put the articles in a scrap book. He honestly couldn't wait until they – Harry and the Dark Lord – went for the jugular. "And it's brilliant, it can last all day there's no knowing really, but it's a lot of fun."

"So can quidditch," Harry smirked, but a thoughtfully look adorned his face, he did like the sound of it, but he wasn't sure he'd have enough time with everything he had going on. He wanted to get a few of his potions finished, a few spells perfected, and with his lordships and everything, how on earth did people actually have families? Where did they find the time? He missed being able to spend a lot of time with Voldemort though, and their conversations in the evening.

"Quidditch has nothing on the duelling circuit, seriously, it's bloody amazing," Barty confessed, enthused, he hadn't seen or attended one in ages. Sure, he was a little leery of attending just in case anything happened and he was caught out…but the allure was just too tantalising. It had been so long since he got to do anything he wanted just for the sake of it. The worry of being caught was just too much, and naturally the Dark Lord ordered no risks to be taken.

"Of course," Harry said wryly, "Should have guessed,"

"You should have," Barty said with self-assurance, chin tilted up in mock defiance before another grin broke out on his face.

Harry pursed his lips as he handed over the basket to the apothecary worker, "You know what, yeah, I'll go, do you have any information about the duelling tournament?" his intrigue obvious, as he headed to the checkout to purchase his items. Handing over the requested amount, the cashier not the least bit upset that they were having a conversation and pretty much ignoring him.

Barty commented, "Sure, there's a brochure it tells you everywhere, everywhere they're going, the locations, they're worldwide, people follow these circuits all over the entire time they're on." eyeing the worker and the door absently, ensuring they wouldnt be ambushed.

Harry stared at Barty nonplussed, they treated duelling like they did Quidditch and going on the road and following musicians? It must be good if they had people literally following them wherever they went. "That's…something else," he admitted, definitely more intrigued than before. He was going to guess there was a lot of betting involved as well. Some things really didn't change, did it? Magic or not, people were so similar.

Accepting the bound package with his items in them, he thanked the guy before shifting out of the way of the people lining up behind them. There truly wasn't much room to move around in these shops.

Barty guided Harry back out and down a few shops in the opposite direction he'd been going in, "I'll be a second," nipping into Honeydukes, which had a stand for newspapers, and todays was still available. Harry actually nipped in and joined him, and buying a few of his favourite sweets, it was empty of anyone except the assistant and him and Barty, in fact, it had just opened. It was too early even for children to be up and grabbing sweets from the shop yet, especially seeing as it was summer holidays. He did keep an eagle eye out for anyone, he didn't want Dumbledore getting a hold of him.

"I'm done," Barty said, newspaper in hand, this wasn't Barty's first bout of collecting newspaper clippings, and it likely wouldn't be the last. He had his entire album in his rooms where he'd liberated it from Crouch manor before it was locked down upon his father's death.

Barty waited on Harry finishing up, they'd be going to the bookstore again, the muggle had said that he might as well just move in at least. Harry said she was just kidding with him, but the familiarity they use in the muggle world was rather strange. She was always kind though, so he let her off with it. Although, Harry had told him repeatedly that she wasn't being forward, it's just how the world was in the muggle world. They weren't as formal, and didn't need to be introduced into someone's social circles. "let's get going to the bookstore I have a few others things I need to do today." Never naming names, if anything happened to Harry, he wouldn't survive whatever the Dark Lord did to him. He was cautious when outdoors, not just for him but Harry too.

Harry grinned wryly, "True," Barty had become a confidant, his best friend. For the first time in his life, he understood the meaning of a true friend. Ron didn't come close…but that may have something to do with them just being kids at the time and the fact Harry's heart hadn't been in it after a while. Same could be said for Hermione…they'd just been so different from him.

They apparated into the muggle world, something that was fast becoming familiar to Barty, the alleyway had been cleaned up though, no duvets, needles or anything of the sort but still suitable for apparating blindly to. It took barely two minutes to walk from the blind spot to the bookshop.

They were literally just about to open the doors to Waterstones book store when his name was called out incessantly, "Harry! HARRY! Harry! Please wait!" persistently.

"Bloody hell," Harry muttered in disbelief, as he turned around for his thoughts to be confirmed as he watched Hermione Granger run towards him at top speed. A look of disbelief and hope adorned her face as she skidded to a halt beside him, breathing heavily, glancing at Barty – who she did not recognise obviously – with wariness not knowing whether he was a wizard or not and not sure what to say or do now she was here. He couldn't believe she was here; he couldn't believe the shop was now compromised.

"Harry," she whispered with reverence, breathing out trying to regain her equilibrium.

"Hello, Hermione," Harry said politely, not even glancing in Barty's direction.

Hermione looked stunned by the polite response, not expecting it given how they'd parted. "Can we talk?" she begged, once again glancing at the boy beside her once best friend.

"I'm not sure we have anything to say to each other, do you?" Harry asked curtly, he couldn't risk her having informed the Order that he was here. Which sucked, he actually really liked this bookstore, he'd have to find somewhere else. He couldn't risk coming back here into a waiting ambush by Dumbledore.

"Yes," Hermione said firmly, with absolution. "I'll go anywhere you want, I promise, anywhere, just…we need to talk? Please?" her statement came out more of a question.

Harry narrowed his eyes, staring at Hermione intently, reading her mind.

"Please?" she begged again, brushing her bushy hair from her face, grateful at least she now had her breathing under control.

Harry was disappointed to see that she was still beholden to Dumbledore.

"Can't we at least try to build bridges?" she asked, pursing her lips yet again, "I know I wasn't the best friend you could have asked for…but surely I wasn't that bad?" a vulnerable note crept into her voice, as if she was terrified every single vulnerability, she had would be laid bare.

"Actually, for the longest time you were exactly what I needed in a friend," Harry said in a rare move of sincerity, "But I was wary from the beginning especially the way you thought the sun shone out of Dumbledore's arse."

Barty coughed and spluttered glancing away, coughing as he tried to get his throat rightened. He knew he should go into the bookstore and get all the books they'd planned, who knows now if they'd ever be back. Harry wouldn't at least not as himself, under a glamour, perhaps, but Dumbledore and his ilk knew what to look for underneath it. Which left both of them unable to do a damn thing or come here again.

"The beginning?" Hermione was bewildered, "What did I do from the beginning to make you be wary?" she was eleven for Merlin's sake.

"Besides the fact you begged the hat to put you into Gryffindor because Dumbledore had been in that house?" Harry drawled out sarcastically, Hermione nodded once, brown eyes pleading for nothing but the truth between them. "Tell me, if I went to your parents and told them that Dumbledore had suddenly led you to a killer at eleven years of age…left you alone with your friends to deal with him…that you ended up having to kill in order to survive…what would they have done? What would they have said?"

Realization began to dawn on Hermione along with horror, he'd been so wary of her even back then? "I was eleven!" she squeaked out, eyes exceedingly round as she stared at her one-time best friend.

"What. Would. They. Have. Done?" Harry enunciated each word.

Slumping in defeat, she resignedly stated, "They would have taken me out of Hogwarts, possibly pressed charges against Dumbledore for child endangerment, child abuse, attempted murder, and anything else they could think of."

Barty's eyes widened as he stared in shocked surprise.

"Exactly," Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes, "Dumbledore led me to Voldemort, Hermione, led me to him, like a lamb to the slaughter, what kind of wizard does that make him?"

Swallowing thickly, "Not a very good one," she croaked, and she'd helped him, she bore the bitter understanding of the fact she'd do it again. without Dumbledore muggle-borns like her were extremely endangered. They needed him to fight for them, so that they weren't killed off if Voldemort managed to take over the magical world. They needed help and Dumbledore would give them that help.

"Do you honestly think he didn't know exactly where the chamber was? who was doing it? How many children's lives he risked by his inactions? If a twelve-year-old could figure out the answer…, do you truly believe he didn't know? I'm not saying you're not smart…but come on…" Harry asked her, watching her crumble in front of him. "Do you even realize how lucky everyone was that they didn't end up killed? That you didn't end up dead? How much danger he put Ginny in?"

Hermione blinked owlishly, trying to come up with something to argue the point.

"Let's not forget our third year, Dumbledore could have took that time-turner from you, instead he risked both our lives for what? To save a fucking animal? He asked us to risk our bloody life for an animal!" Harry wanted to bellow at the top of his voice, instead he whisper-shouted.

"Not just Buckbeak, Sirius too," Hermione's protest was weak and half-hearted at best.

"I'm sure that would have been a relief to your parents if they were told you went insane trying to help my godfather, who he could have just gone up and released," Harry said derisively. "But no, Merlin forbid that he get his hands dirty."

"I did it to help you, to help Sirius, you were my best friend," Hermione said softly, a pained look on her face.

Harry smiled bitterly, "Yeah, without a doubt, but let me ask you this…if Dumbledore hadn't asked it of you…and I did…would you still have done it? Broken the school rules? Broken the Ministry's rules to help?"

"Yes," Hermione insisted adamantly, "I would have done anything for you," the lie shrieking loud and clear with Harry's Legilimency abilities.

"So why did you leave me alone to deal with Voldemort's rebirth and Cedric's death?" Harry asked, leaving her to think she'd gotten away with that lie. "It's rhetorical, we already know why you did."

"But Harry…it was dangerous, if he found out where you lived…he could have hurt you." Hermione pointed out with a pleading expression for him to believe her.

"You know about the blood wards, right?" Harry suddenly went in a different direction.

"Well, yes, you told me," Hermione nodded, explained why he had to go back to the Muggles every summer, another test she'd failed actually.

"You know Voldemort has spies everywhere and my address is probably in both the Ministry and Hogwarts?" Harry continued on relentlessly.

Hermione's heart sank as she realized the truth of it, "Yes…"

"You still think he didn't know where I lived by that point? Even if he had…the blood wards were supposed to keep him out." Harry stated, "He couldn't have followed your letters even if he wanted to. But Hermione…you did know where I lived, you could have sent it through Muggle post. One letter…one little bit of defiance would have been all it took. ONE BLOODY LETTER!"

Hermione swallowed thickly, glancing around self-consciously over all the muggles watching the fight with curious eyes.

"I have to go, I've got potions brewing, it was good to see you, Hermione, take care of yourself," Harry said, dismissing her entirely, blatantly lying, there was no stopping her belief in Dumbledore. It didn't matter what happened, what he said, it wouldn't change anything. He moved towards the store again, Barty going in and he was just inside when she spoke again.

"Can I see you again?" Hermione asked, as she quickly stepped up beside Harry again. "Or write?"

"Why? Look I don't want a friend who puts what a damn Headmaster wants before their friends, and don't try and lie and indicate that you'd give me any loyalty." Harry said tiredly, he didn't want to put up with her at all. She would never regret what she'd done, well, maybe a little, but never enough to take it back. She would never change, and he didn't want half-hearted loyalty. He already knew what real loyalty looked like thank you very much. It's for that reason he didn't get that angry, he was over it, he was living his life the way he wanted to. "I already know what real loyalty looks like, I'd never go back to what scraps you and Ron offered."

Hermione watched him leave, eyes shimmering with tears, hating that once again she'd failed.

"Should we head home?" Barty asked as they went deeper into the store, leaving Granger standing there.

Blink and she was gone.

"We've got at least fifteen to twenty minutes before anyone is alerted, half an hour at least before anything can be mounted," Harry mused thoughtfully, "Best get to it, who knows when we will get back here." Genuinely mournful over the idea he couldn't return, Barty had pretty much the same reaction.

They ended up with a massive haul that outdid their previous expenditure.

Auror Alastor Moody and Tonks did venture into the store forty-five minutes later, and nobody said a word, refusing to give them anything on their two favourite patrons.

Following that, they weren't surprised they didn't see the two for some time after.

R&R