I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.
A Taste of Magic
121st Course – Nemesis No More
"Whoa, is everything okay?" Harry asked.
Inky sniffed. "Everything is fine."
"Doesn't sound it," Harry said, watching the very large argument going on in the kitchen. He had a free period and was caught up on classwork so he decided to visit the kitchens and cook with the house elves for a bit. He walked in and was flabbergasted to see a lot of incredibly polite but emphatic arguing between a good portion of the elves.
"Ebbers is irritated," Inky said dismissively. "He cannot find some of the older pots and pans. They were not stored right and are missing. Last to use them was Basil but Basil says Sage was last. Sage says storeroom is a mess so now Quarters is irritated. So lots of arguing."
"I always thought the kitchen here is a lot smoother than Gringotts sometimes," Harry smiled. "As in less yelling and ribbing and that sort of thing. Same with Hog's Head technically but that's usually the bar bleeding into the kitchen."
"We is on our best behavior when Harry visits," Inky giggled. "Is no good showing Harry bad house elf manners."
"I'm used to it. You've met Kreacher."
"Yes, Inky has," Inky sniffed with disapproval.
"Kreacher is great though and he's a lot better."
"If Harry says so," Inky said with a small shrug. She shook her head at Ebbers when he stomped over. "So? Where is?"
"No idea," Ebbers growled. "Elflings! Lose head if not attached to the body."
"You spent three days looking for your favorite off-set spatula and you had it tucked in your toque," Inky snorted, "the whole time!"
"Ebbers doesn't remember that," Ebbers sniffed, looking away with flushed cheeks.
"Of course Ebbers doesn't," Inky said airily. "Like he doesn't remember putting it there and blaming others for nicking it."
"Is there anywhere else they could be?" Harry asked with a wide smile. "Is there another storeroom or something you don't use often?"
"Good idea! Inky, take Harry to Come-and-Go room," Ebbers said. "Could be there and you have time to spread terrible tales about so you have time to go look."
"They aren't tales if they are true!" Inky said indignantly as she wiped her hands clean. "Come Harry, Inky needs company with mature person." She and Harry left the kitchen and she led him up a back staircase to go higher in the castle.
"What's the Come-and-Go room?" Harry asked.
"Is a magic room in Hogwarts," Inky explained. "It's where lots of lost things end up actually, so is good that you made us think of it. Hogwarts likes to collect lost things and put them somewhere to be found when needed."
"That's good of the school," Harry said. He followed Inky to a bare patch of wall between tapestries. He watched as Inky walked back and forth three times and he gasped in delight as a large door appeared, as if growing from the stone. "That's amazing!"
"Hogwarts is the best," Inky smiled.
"It sure is," Harry agreed. He followed Inky as she opened the doors and his jaw dropped at the incredibly large room within that was full of lots of things. The collection, there was no other way of describing it, was vast and varied. There was no discernable organization either. Things were piled haphazardly on the floor or on tables or on one of the myriads of shelves. Quills, brooms, books, cauldrons, objects that he did not recognize, just about anything one could think of was there in varying states and conditions.
"Ah! Here they are," Inky exclaimed. She pointed at a pile of neatly stacked pots. "Good idea to come here!"
"This place is incredible," Harry said. "And all these things are lost things?"
"Or things put in storage and forgotten," Inky said. "Sometimes we come to poke about some but you be careful Harry, some things be dangerous and not to be messed with without help."
"I believe it. When we cleaned out Grimmauld, there was a lot of that sort of thing we had to do."
"Hmm, and Kreacher was at Grimmauld during that time?" Inky asked dryly.
"Like I said, he's gotten better," Harry said weakly.
"Mmhmm," Inky hummed.
"What does Hogwarts do with all the things here?" Harry asked.
"They will show up as needed or wanted eventually," Inky said. "Or taken by those in want or need. As long as safe of course."
Harry helped levitate the pots and as he turned to go, he saw something and looked again. "Oh wow, that looks nice."
Inky nodded after seeing what he was looking at. "Belonged to a professor. He passed while here and no family sadly. So was kept here if Inky recalls."
"May I take it? I can't use it but I know someone who would. Seems a bit of shame to leave it here unused," Harry asked.
"Inky doesn't see why not. Inky and a few other elves will check it to make sure is good and safe and will take to the Uncommon Room. Will check with Headmaster too."
"Thanks! You're the best!"
"Inky knows," Inky said with self-assurance. "But only for Harry."
-0-
"Even after all my years here, Hogwarts still surprises me," Dumbledore said with wonder, looking around the cavernous room. He smiled and picked something up off a table. "I never did find what happened to this book. How splendid."
"My word, there must be things here from decades ago," McGonagall gasped. "Perhaps even more than a century!"
"I hope you aren't going to have us try to catalogue it or organize it," Flitwick asked with apprehension.
When Inky had come to Dumbledore to ask him about the object Harry wanted, Dumbledore wanted to see the room and the elves took him and whoever wanted to come along from the senior staff. They all marveled at the sheer size and scope of the room as well as all the contents within.
"No, that would be too much a task," Dumbledore said to collective relief. "I actually rather enjoy Hogwarts collecting lost things and holding them until they are wanted and needed again. Perhaps we can come when we need to and find something."
"Oh wow, I don't know anything about these things but this does look very nice," Remus remarked when Inky led them to the thing Harry had asked about.
"Poor Professor Hennick," Dumbledore said sadly. He rested a hand on the object. "He was such a gentle man and well liked."
"What happened to him?" Remus asked.
"His family did not approve of his choice to be a professor and disowned him. He lived here at Hogwarts to the end. His students adored him as did the staff," Dumbledore said softly. "I always wondered what happened to this."
"Did his family not try to claim it?" McGonagall asked.
"The Headmaster at the time refused. Henry was adamant where he wanted his belongings to go."
"Is it okay if we took it for Harry and his friends then?" Remus asked.
"I think Henry would love to know it would be used well," Dumbledore said. "And I will ensure it is continued to be taken care of after Harry and his friends graduate."
"Just as well we aren't going to try and catalogue this place," Flitwick smiled as they left. "It would take several of Gringotts's best teams to do the job and it wouldn't be cheap."
"I think half the fun of looking for something is discovering it on your own," Dumbledore smiled.
"Spoken like a true delver," Flitwick laughed.
"There was a time where I entertained that profession," Dumbledore mused.
"Nothing keeping you from doing it when you retire as Headmaster," Flitwick smiled.
"Very true! I will keep that in mind," Dumbledore chuckled.
-0-
"How come you never do this at home?" Astoria asked indignantly.
Daphne wagged a finger blindly at where she thought Astoria was and Tracey helpfully pushed her hand until it was in Astoria's face. "Because I do not trust you, hellion."
"We're family!" Astoria gasped.
"Precisely why I do not trust you!"
"And you trust them more than me?!"
"Yes," Daphne said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Tracey is my best friend and I trust Pansy, Millicent, and Harry almost as much. Then Blaise. Then you."
"You trust Blaise more than you trust me?!" Astoria gasped loudly.
"Ha." Blaise smirked. "That's quite the insult for you."
"Oh and I also trust Hedwig," Daphne added, "over you."
Hedwig giggled, wiggling comfortably on Daphne's head and gave Astoria a superior look.
"To be fair, she's a great seeing eye owl," Harry smiled.
"I'm surprised you were willing to let us blindfold you all the way from the dungeons," Lavender smiled.
"Me too if I am being honest," Daphne admitted. "But it seemed fun and I trust you. Oh, I trust Lavender more than I trust you, Tori."
"Don't tell me you trust Parvati more than me!"
"No, certainly not."
"That's fair," Parvati smiled.
"I trust you both in equal measure," Daphne smiled.
"Oooh, that's gotta burn," Parvati laughed while Astoria seethed.
"If it makes you feel any better, this was Harry's idea," Pansy smiled as they continued to walk with Daphne securely in their middle.
"Now I am especially intrigued," Daphne smiled.
They reached the Uncommon Room door and Harry unlocked it with his key. "So I was helping Inky and the elves the other day and I saw this and asked if we could put it here. It was checked over by the Headmaster and Professor Lupin and Professor Flitwick and they said it was safe and the elves cleaned it really nicely for us. As long as we take care of it, it can be here. It belonged to a Hogwarts professor a long time ago. Also it's your birthday so I thought while it's not gifted to you directly, you'd still like it." He opened the door fully and led them in.
"What?! What is it?!" Daphne asked as the others gasped and exclaimed at the sight.
"Might as well take the blindfold off," Tracey said and did just that. "You're going to love it!"
Daphne blinked a few times, waiting for her eyes to refocus and readjust to the light. When they did, she gasped loudly too. "It is a piano!"
The piano sat in the corner of the Uncommon Room. It was large and had been lovingly cleaned and polished. The dark wood gleamed in the sunlight from the window and it smelled of polish and freshness with a hint of time past. The bench was the same wood with a dark grey cushioned surface on top. The keys were shining ivory and ebony and it sat there as if waiting to be played.
"That is a very nice maker name," Blaise said, recognizing the name on the piano, etched and inlaid with silver. "One of the best I believe."
"We have one at home," Daphne said, running her fingers lovingly over the keys.
"I remembered you saying you couldn't bring one, and then I saw it and thought it was too nice to sit there unused," Harry said. "So I asked if we could and the Headmaster was happy to let us. He said he'll try to keep it out after we leave too." He clicked his tongue and Hedwig launched herself into the air and flew to her nest and brought a wrapped package to Daphne before settling back down on her head.
Harry continued while she opened it. "And Tsumugi sent me this book. I asked her about how they use music to do magic and she got me a copy of the main book they use. They were able to find an English copy of it too."
"All this for me?" she gasped.
"It's your birthday! Well the book is your birthday gift from me, like I said, the piano is still the school's but we're allowed to use it." He looked nervous at her slack-jawed look of blank shock. "Did I overstep or something? Did I do something bad?"
"No you did fine," Pansy said, patting his arm. "You are just one of the lucky few that have ever shocked Daphne into silence, a very noteworthy feat."
"Lavender, I am going to hug Harry for a long time and very enthusiastically," Daphne said.
"Go for it! Harry's a great hugger," Lavender smiled.
Daphne did as she said she would, hugging Harry tightly. "Thank you so much," she said happily. "This was so incredibly nice of you!"
"I'm glad you like it," Harry said, delighted.
"Oh Lavender is right, you are a very good hugger," Daphne praised before squeezing him one last time and letting him go. "I have missed playing the piano while at school and to be able to learn how to do magic musically? That is going to be wonderful!"
"Go on then, happy fingers," Millicent said. "Play something!"
Daphne smiled and sat on the bench, running her fingers up and down the keys. She gently rubbed her hands together and began to play, a classical piece. Her fingers moved delicately as she pressed down on the keys and music filled the room.
"Oh wow, that's really pretty," Padma admired.
"She is good at it," Astoria said begrudgingly but with a proud smile. "I can remember when she was bad at it though."
"Everybody starts off not good at something," Harry said easily. "I wasn't always good at cooking."
"What? Don't believe it," Blaise snorted deeply and the others made similar sounds and expressions.
"No really! First time I tried cooking bacon and eggs I burned them," Harry said. His smile faded a little as he remembered what happened after. He took a deep breath and let it go, realizing that everyone was looking at him funny. "I got better at it though, and nothing wrong with practice."
"Well, from burning bacon and eggs to creating massive meals and feasts, that is some fine improvement," Blaise said sincerely. "And teaching as well."
Daphne finished her piece and everyone applauded appreciatively. "Thank you again," she said, hugging Harry once more. "I cannot thank you enough for this."
"You've already thanked me twice," Harry smiled. "That's plenty really." Later on, after bringing out some food for them to snack on while the others gave Daphne more birthday gifts, his smile returned when he felt another pair of arms wrap around him. "And what are you thanking me for?"
"For being an amazing person and friend," Lavender said. She hugged him hard. "Also I want you to get used to the idea that hugs aren't just for saying thanks either. You should expect them for all sorts of reasons, even unexpected ones. Sometimes, no reason at all too."
"That does sound nice," he said and hugged her back.
-0-
"So it's cool, right?" Susan asked.
"Should be," Lavender said.
"I think so," Hermione said.
"Cool, cool," Susan said with relief. "Well?"
"Well what?" Parvati asked, tilting her head a little.
"Is it cool?" Susan asked, glaring at her.
"Yes it's cool, sheesh, what's the problem?" Parvati asked, nettled. "Did you think I was going to have a problem with it?"
"Since I asked you specifically, yes, I did," Susan shot back.
"Wow, ouch, I thought we were friends!"
"Which is why I asked you directly because I know you!"
"I know how to behave!" Parvati said crossly.
"Okay, okay, just making sure," Susan said, hands up and palms flat. She walked off looking more relieved.
"Do you really?" Hermione asked flatly.
"I most certainly do," Parvati sniffed. "It's way more satisfying not doing something when you know exactly how to do something."
"That tracks," Lavender giggled.
"Look, she really is a lovely girl," Sue said quietly. "Just, well, she doesn't have too many friends and is a bit introverted and you have to respect how difficult this is for her."
"I get it, I get it," Parvati said. She looked at the girls around her. "I promise, I'll be on my best behavior."
"Okay, good," Sue said with relief.
"What's good?" Padma asked, walking up to them.
"Parv said she's going to be on her best behavior," Lavender grinned.
"That's not good at all unless she defined which best behavior," Padma said knowingly.
"Wait, what?" Sue asked, looking alarmed.
"Heeeeyyy Nemi," Parvati said with a very big smile. "Fancy seeing you here!"
Hannah looked confused as she and Susan approached the group and Susan and Sue groaned. "What did you call me?" she asked.
"Nemi, short for nemesis," Parvati said with the same broad smile and the expression of utterly insincere innocence. "Thought I'd make it sound cuter and more endearing."
"I'm leaving," Hannah said flatly and turned to leave.
"No, don't, it'll be fun, I promise," Susan said. She glared at Parvati. "I thought you were going to be cool!"
"I am cool!" Parvati protested. She glared back at the two Sue-sounding friends. "She's the one that started this nemesis thing! Am I not allowed to joke about it because if so, no one told me and that's on you, not me. Ow! Hey!" She pinched Susan back. "Pads, your fellow prefect is abusing their power on me!"
"Why didn't you complain to me?" Hermione complained. "You normally do."
"And you normally don't do anything about it!"
"I really hate to agree with Parv, but did you tell her not to be herself about it?" Padma asked. She snorted at Sue and Susan's identical groans before smiling at Hannah. "Just ignore her. She delights in being a pain in the arse."
"I'm really good at it," Parvati said. She smiled genuinely at Hannah, "No hard feelings?"
"Just, don't call me Nemi again," Hannah sighed.
"I promise I won't, unless it's an accident," Parvati said sincerely.
"Wait, why did you put emphasis on the word 'I'?" Susan asked worriedly.
"Because I'm not responsible for how the Slytherins are going to react," Parvati said.
"They already told me they'll be cool," Susan said hurriedly.
"Did they say how cool?" Lavender asked. "Not trying to panic anyone but they definitely have different versions of acting cool."
"Don't go, it'll be fine," Sue said, holding onto Hannah.
The Cooking Club kitchen classroom was affectionately being called the TeeKay or the teaching kitchen despite only having had a few meetings. It was something a lot of people looked forward to and already there were some people asking for more than every-other week meetings. The Indian night had been a big success and a lot of people had enjoyed learning more about the butter chicken and mango lassi they enjoyed for dinner here and there.
Susan had convinced Hannah to come and had tried to do some pre-emptive meetings to assuage feelings and it had worked with a flexible definition of the word success.
"Hello everyone," Pansy said, appearing with their friends and the younger siblings as well as a few others from Slytherin that were a part of the club.
"Hi!" Lavender hugged Pansy and whispered in her ear. "Lay off on Hannah. Parv already put her up to the wall a bit and she's prickly."
"Drat, I wanted to do some needling," Pansy huffed, whispering as she hugged her back.
"Maybe next time," Lavender smiled as they broke apart. "And we can needle Parvati later."
"That will do," Pansy smiled.
"Bring it on," Parvati whispered, having overheard. "You can call me thimble because I'm needle-proof."
"You know needles aren't infallible," Lavender smiled.
"Well neither am I," Parvati said agreeably. "Unless when I am."
The door opened once more and Harry came in with the kitchen house elves, carrying crates of fruit. "Hey everyone," he greeted with a big smile. He had become more comfortable addressing the members of the club as they continued to meet.
"Oooh those look nice," Aster said, looking at the gleaming apples and oranges and blueberries, a symphony of bright colors and sweet smells.
"Aren't they? We got some really good ones and I decided that it'll be fun for us to make American muffins and cupcakes today," Harry said to collective delight.
"I've always wondered, what's the difference between an American muffin and a cupcake? Aside from nationality of course." Blaise mused.
"Honestly? I think they came up with muffin so you don't feel bad about eating cake for breakfast," Harry said and people laughed appreciatively.
"We eat pancakes though," Marigold said.
"I guess you can have a cake for breakfast and not multiple different kinds," Harry said to more appreciative laughter. "But there are some differences. Cupcakes have a finer crumb, meaning texture, and American muffins usually are coarser and denser. Also cupcakes normally have frosting. Which are both different from our regular muffins to make it perfectly confusing. Or crumpets for that matter."
"Cupcakes have it bad," Parvati sighed gustily. "Finer texture but have to dress it up even more? They must be the Society of baked goods." A few people gave her scandalized looks but the close Slytherin friends snorted and laughed.
"I never thought I would feel affinity to a cupcake," Daphne snorted.
"Oooh, can I call you cupcake from now on?" Parvati asked.
"I thought she was princess," Millicent smiled, making Daphne groan and Astoria laugh.
"Princess Cupcake?" Parvati suggested.
"I will Curse you," Daphne said without heat, shaking her head. "Fine, I will start calling you Coarse Crumb."
"Hey! I'm not dense and I happen to have a wonderful texture," Parvati said, throwing her hair over her shoulder. "But I'll let you call me Muffin."
"American or native?" Daphne asked with a sharp smile.
"American," Padma smiled, pinching Parvati's waist.
"Hey! Not cool!" Parvati squawked and smacked her sister while the others laughed.
"Then again, our cupcakes are more called fairy cakes," Harry continued when the laughter died down. "They're smaller and have less frosting and icing usually."
"Baked goods are a lot more complicated than I thought," Tracey smiled.
"I always assumed fairy cakes were made by fairies," Luna pouted. "I'm a little disappointed now."
"You can choose to ignore the fact that they aren't and still assume it," Parvati suggested.
"Good point!" Luna smiled.
"I don't think it works that way," Sue grinned. "But I like the imagery of fairies baking cakes so I'm not going to argue with it."
"Hannah, you bake a lot, right? And you ran the bakery stall during the Festival for the TriWizard right?" Harry asked.
Hannah flushed a little, put on the spot while others turned to look at her. "Yes," she said after a moment, tilting her chin up and looking at Harry directly.
"Great! Do you mind helping? I've baked things before but always am happy to learn how to improve," Harry said eagerly.
Hannah looked at Susan and Sue and dithered a moment before Susan gently pushed her forward. "I guess so," she stammered and walked up to the counter with Susan behind her. She looked even more awkward when Harry obviously deferred to her but she also slowly grew more comfortable as she directed Harry on a simple recipe for them to make.
"Aww, looks like no more nemesis," Parvati sighed. "I didn't say it to her face!" she cried, pinching Sue back.
"Just like Harry to make things less awkward and be kind," Pansy smiled warmly. "Did he know she was coming?"
"Susan told him," Sue said, fending Parvati off. "Well she asked and he of course said he didn't have a problem. Oh! Susan did say that it gave him an idea of what to do for this meeting and she was slightly concerned."
"What, did she think he would call her out on a contest or something?" Millicent snorted. "Really? Our Harry?"
"Susan was just worried," Sue defended. "They're best friends."
"She should still know better," Daphne snorted. "Her aunt is seeing his godfather. They will be as close as family soon enough."
"I mean, I sometimes don't know what Parvati's thinking and we're twins," Padma said.
"Yeah, what she said," Parvati smiled.
"You don't know what you're thinking or what Padma is thinking?" Hermione smiled.
"Yes," Parvati laughed.
"Fair enough. I do not pretend to know Astoria's alleged thought processes," Daphne said, ignoring Astoria's glare.
"Come on, I want American muffins and fairy cakes and cupcakes and whatever else," Lavender said eagerly and started pushing them to one of the side tables.
-0-
"Goodness, that was really kind of Harry and very well done," Sprout said with a very large smile.
"Is there something wrong?" Remus asked, looking faintly surprised.
"Nothing terrible," Sprout said. "Hannah harbored some small amount of misguided resentment to Harry due to his cooking and how she felt about baking and the like. She saw him as a nemesis of sorts for some time."
"Nemesis?" Flitwick repeated, stifling laughter.
"A bit dramatic but yes," Sprout said, also stifling laughter. "What I heard in passing. But anyways, it seemed she had some reservations in coming to the Cooking Club but Susan and Miss Li convinced her to, which I am grateful. I knew Harry would not do anything improper, but letting Hannah do what she likes and showing her respect like this was very well done. One might say it was Hufflepuffish of him. I wonder if he would like to live closer to the kitchens."
"I will Curse you," McGonagall said severely, glaring at her friend and fellow instructor and Head of House. "Or find you on the pitch at our next shinty game."
"Bring it on," Sprout said just as severely.
"Wow, they take that sort of thing serious," Ariana remarked, watching the two witches with deep amusement.
"I recall you saying something similar a few months back," Dumbledore said dryly. "Something about Olympe?"
"Yeah, and I meant it," Ariana sniffed.
"Mmhmm. What did the kettle say to the pot?" Dumbledore asked.
"That the pot is a fat bastard and it should keep its fat mouth shut," Ariana said pleasantly.
"A lesser heard version of the idiom I'm sure," Flitwick chuckled.
"No, I've heard Sirius say something remarkably similar," Remus smiled. "Something about how kettles are 'shrieking tarts'."
"Oh I like that, need to remember that," Ariana said while Dumbledore shook his head.
-0-
"If you eat anymore, you'll look more like a muffin," Padma teased.
"Eh, that's fine. Everyone loves muffins," Parvati said with a full mouth.
"I'm more of a crumpet person myself," Blaise said.
"Crumpets are like skinny muffins so that's fine," Parvati shrugged.
"No they aren't," Blaise frowned. "Crumpets are noble pastry that sits on its own merits. How would you like it if I said Padma is just you but-" he grunted when Millicent elbowed him strongly in the side. "That was a bit much," he said with a pained expression.
"I was saving your arse, you dumbarse," Millicent snorted.
"What? I say Astoria is a louder and more annoying version of Daphne all the time," Blaise argued.
"That's fair." Tracey looked back at the irate Greengrass sisters. "What? It's true and it's fair."
"What did I miss?" Harry said, looking at the growing squabbling between the Patils, the Greengrasses, Tracey, and Blaise.
"Semantics," Pansy said airily.
"Sounds like something more serious than that," Harry grinned. He whooped with surprise when Susan hugged him all of a sudden.
"Thanks, Harry!" Susan smiled, looking very happy. "Hannah had a lot of fun and you didn't need to do a bakery night but I'm so glad you did and helped her feel good."
"Oh good, I'm glad," Harry said with immense relief. "I hoped things wouldn't be awkward."
"Why isn't she here saying thank you?" Luna asked with mild indignation.
"She asked me to. Baby steps," Susan argued.
"What gave you the idea?" Hermione asked.
Harry shrugged a little. "I just thought how would Lavender be kind and approachable while trying to be a little sneaky like Pansy. Sneaky in the good way."
"Oh boy, he's learning!" Millicent laughed brightly.
"That's our Harry," Lavender and Pansy said, hugging him together.
-0-0-0-
alix33 - They went to the Ball together in fourth year and stayed together since. That sounds like a tasty sausage.
Hands Off MY Wolfie - I like the gradual change to the school too. I had hoped it would feel more natural by now and less divided in other ways and settings. I wanted something more fun and inclusive. Hedwig is a very good inspector. Thanks for reading.
odonellzoo99 - If you have any places that serve dim sum near you, that'll probably be the easiest way to try some. They come loosely wrapped in lotus leaves and can be called lotus rice. Or if you see it served in an upside down glass bowl on a plate and you can see soy sauced rice studded with things, that's the other kind without the leaves wrapping and that is usually called sticky rice. You can sometimes find them for sale at asian grocery stores but be careful, the sodium and fat in them are astronomical when mass produced.
poka - I've always wanted to visit Singapore. I've heard the food scene there is wonderful. I've made the non wrapped version of zongzhi a lot but never the wrapped kind. Maybe one day. Hurling and Shinty are real games. I first read about hurling or hurley in another book once and if you look for videos on Youtube, you can find some really cool ones. To me, an untrained eye, it's like rugby but with sticks or field hockey or lacrosse with less padding and more fighting.
DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles - At this point, she's probably Birch's nemesis because he tried to avoid her but can never escape her. Poor guy.
TheSphynx - Part of the problem with writing so much. You find fun ideas after leaving a setting. They would cause so much chaos in that setting.
DarkRavie - Thank you.