January 28th 1916

Sweet Rilla-My-Rilla

I got news about the storks nesting and that I am about to be an uncle. Mother wrote, but which surprised me, I looked back over your letters wondering if I had missed something. But if Mother wrote it, it must be true.

I wish you would have told me, but I can understand the hesitance. I am right vexed with Kenneth, for allowing such a thing to even happen. Though Mother as delicately as she could write it, told me not to be as it wasn't entirely his idea.

Still, I have a newfound will to survive this war dear sister of mine. I feel as if I should see this niece or nephew, and put Kenneth in his place. I have written him a little as well, as brothers-in-law naturally do. There is little beauty in war, but there is beauty in life.

Please tell me that this child is made out of affection. I won't call it love, not yet. Sweethearts you may be, but love feels too out of place after everything that has happened.

The life you create will be ready to bloom.

Fast and steady weaved by a loom

Incandescent and boldly bright

Brought forth by a maiden of starlight

One may hope for these dreams to come true.

In the early hazy fog and morning dew.

Love Walter

January 26th 1916

Dear little sister,

You're making me an Uncle….of the news I didn't expect, it was this. I read through the lines over the past years and have l come to realize that you love Kenneth, and clearly, he loves you as well.

I feel as if I have been gone for a decade, and not eighteen months. So much has happened and I am missing it all.

You'll be a wonderful mother Rilla, truly and if Kenneth makes it back safely, I can see him as a good father. If reading between the lines of letters, I feel as if you will balance each other out.

I also can't believe that you beat me, as someone seven years older than you…to growing up, being married, becoming a parent. True, I couldn't marry Faith until after medical school, another two years…but still you have beat in the game of life, and happiness.

I wish you a safe gestation, and birth Rilla and know that I am thinking of you. I also hope it will be another ginger, Mother will be beside herself but Father will be tickled by it. It's a toss-up, but I hope for the greater good, that this child doesn't end up with Ken's ears, they are abnormally large aren't they?

Love your Big Brother

Jem,

Thirty weeks, she sees on her chart. March 8th thirty weeks. Has it been so long since Ken showed up? It didn't feel like it but at the same time, it clearly was.

"Your blood pressure is a little higher than your usual," Father frowns at the dial on the cuff.

"Is that bad?" Rilla asks head tilting unsure of what he is saying really. Her legs swinging off the exam table, seven months gone she was feeling decently well most of the time.

"It can be?" Father says sighing. "I'll take it again before dinner, and then right in the morning tomorrow when you wake up."

Rilla nods her head and her father hands her a glass jar.

"When you inevitably have to relieve yourself," he responds simply. "I just want to make sure of a few things. Urine can tell me a lot of things going on inside of your body without being invasive about things." Father explains.

Rilla can only nod her head at him and set the glass jar to the side. She lets him measure her stomach and feel around for the baby's position.

"Any symptoms? Heartburn, sickness, aches and pains, muscle cramps, headaches?"

"Sometimes here and there?" Rilla says after a moment. "Just fatigue, achy muscles and spasms at times? Heartburn if he is right up in my ribs?"

"Any swollen fingers or ankles?"

"Rings and shoes still fit," Rilla says, "but you tell me, I can't see my feet much these days either way."

"Could just be a fluke," he tells her. "Everything else seems to be good."

"Then I will get ready for the Reds," Rilla says. "If that is all right?"

Father nods his head holding out his hands to her. "As long as Miss Howard is not coming."

"Don't worry, she won't set foot here," Rilla tells him and wiggles off the table so her feet are near the floor and lets her father help her down.

The girls all arrive within half an hour. Miranda, the young Mrs. Joe, is first. She was still living with her Father, who decided that finding a housekeeper was harder said than done these days. Mary Vance was next with Minnie and Little Jims who walked from the same direction. Alice, Betty and Marjorie came last. It was lighthearted, fun sewing and planning. Rilla helped plan the events but never went to them. Not in her condition of course and the girls seemed to understand her reluctance for late-night parties, but it's March and approaching springtime so she does go out more often these days.

"Have you heard from Joe?" Someone asks Miranda, who only shakes her head.

"He said he would telegram when he got to England."

"It's been two weeks, surely he would be there by now?" Alice asks.

"I'm sure it will be any day now," She says looking at her stitches. "But I have no news for him either at the moment," Miranda says to her, peaking over at Rilla who picked up on the context, much like Minnie did as she looked up.

"I got a letter from Ken the other day, it's rainy and muddy apparently," Rilla says saving Miranda from other questions. "If it's not muddy, it's buggy, if it's not bugs it's rats," she tells them.

"When do you expect the little one?" Marjorie asks something they never asked yet.

"Middle of May?" Rilla says simply. "But anytime in May is more likely."

"I'm still very confused about babies," Alice says after a moment. "Like…how does it get out?"

Rilla drops her needle, and Minnie is trying not to burst out laughing.

"Alice, they come out the same way they get in," Mary Vance says without a beat. "I've seen a few births in my years and it's always an affair, but Rilla has her Father as her doctor I am sure it will all be fine."

Alice pales at the thought of it all and looks more horrified with each new thought. "I am never getting married. Ever."

Rilla sneaks a peak at Minnie who is busy with Little Jims to stop herself from laughing.

"You can't be serious about having your dad…surely there is someone else?" Betty speaks up.

Rilla goes red and shakes her head. "It is what it is?" she says simply. She almost forgets about her father's worries as she lays down in her bed, when he comes to find her. He takes it again silently, asking if she is feeling lightheaded or faint and she only shakes her head.

Her father still frowns when he retakes it the next morning, but lets her do her usual day around the house, and walk to the post office, only to find letters from the twins for Mother and a medical journal for her father. On Thursday when she's complaining of a headache, he sends her to bed and goes for his things for a pressure reading.

"Bed, until the unseeable future," Father tells her sternly.

"What's wrong?" Rilla asks him cradling her stomach. The baby continues to flip and flop around, she uses the spare old stethoscope to listen to the heartbeat when she can when it is quiet.

"It's a condition that begins with high blood pressure, headaches and swollen limbs. It used to be called toxemia, now we call it pre-eclampsia. It can come swiftly, and can only be cured with birth," Father explains.

"But,—I," Rilla finds herself objecting.

"Still have weeks to go I know, we'll keep you in bed and relaxed as much as possible for a fortnight and go from there." He tells her. "Don't over-excite yourself either, please" he says clearing his throat and her face burns with embarrassment and horror when she understands his double meaning of such words.

Rilla can only nod her head, blushing. She couldn't even manage to contradict him or tell him he didn't know what he was talking about. He just gave her a look that said, 'I'm a doctor you can't lie to me'.

The first week went by, and the second was agony for her. Her friends come to visit and are allowed up, but Father tells them she won't be able to host a meeting for the junior reds. They could visit one at a time, but nothing more, while Minnie was allowed anytime as long as she felt up to it.

When her blood pressure is only creeping higher her father sighs.

"Pregnancy creates extra blood," he explains to her as lays leeches on her arm. "If I can decrease the blood, it may lower it a bit naturally for you. I don't want to give you magnesium unless I have to, I can't only give you so much at a time."

She hates it, the feeling of leeches on her arms for the hour he left them on, the sting and the blood that poured from the wounds. He tried to keep them in places that wouldn't be too bothersome. It also reminds her of the time when Jem would find leeches and chase her and the twins around Rainbow Valley. Her father asked them to find some for his stock as well.

'I thought bloodletting was a thing of the past?" She asks him the first time and by the fifth time she was trying to get out of it.

"I feel fine," Rilla argues, not wanting another round of leeches. "Can we just take a break from it for a few days?"

"Rilla, you know I can't," he tells her shaking his hand. "You should write Ken and tell him, he'll want to know."

"No, and no one is either for me," Rilla responds quickly and stony. "No…he has enough to worry about than worrying about me."

"Rilla, you can't…" Father starts.

"I said no!" Rilla shouted, face turning red.

"All right, my apologies," He says sighing. "Read your letters, relax and don't worry you'll be alright I promise you." he hands the letters to her and collects his things. "I'll be back in twenty minutes."

Rilla Ford

Ingleside, Morgan Rd

Glen St Mary PEI

Canada

February 12th

Love,

I cannot fully explain the relief of knowing that your friends have come back to you, that you have your own war efforts to help fill your days. I know they will be filled with the baby eventually, but I love that you have friends back, and hope that the time spent apart hasn't dampened those friendships. I remember you with them, before your birthday swimming in the sea, soaking wet and shivering. I peculiarly noticed you that day…more grown up than had realized you had become. Still young of course…even though…well…either way no one could have known. Though you and your friends seemed to be having all the fun girls your age tend to have.

Jem…I won't contradict him. War isn't pretty and what he spoke of Rilla. It's real and it's terrifying and I've been through it as well. We have a mascot here, a dog he has many attributes but mainly we enjoy his presence because he will curl up to the nearest soldier he feels needs emotional comfort. He reminds me of Monday at times, watching over us and how Monday watches over you for Jem.

But I will say that you are far braver than all of the soldiers Rilla-Love. So much braver to have gone through what you have the past year. We may look in the face of death, but you fought through grievances that no one girl or woman should know. You fought them, you fought to have a resemblance of your life back. You are brave Rilla, you are a soldier in your life, don't ever forget that.

I got a letter from Walter and Jem as well, front-line mail…its fairly quick and I have been threatened that they will drag me from hell if I make you a widow and not survive this. They both said they have written to you as well, I am not sure if this will get there before or after, but either way. Beyond threats, they seemed happy for both of us in their manner of ways, shocked but happy.

Love you dearly, I have to blow out the lamp.

Kenneth.

Rilla Ford

Ingleside, Morgan Rd

Glen St Mary PEI

Canada

February 26th 1916

Dearest

I wish could be there, to hold you while you feel like these things. I wish I could hold you, whisper that everything is perfect, that you are everything to me. I hate that I am away when you feel like this. I hate that our marital union is such a shadow to you, and I cannot fix that for you.

Today When I received your bundle of letters I was shocked, I started gobbling them up, hoping for any news of the baby, which I did get of course, along with Miranda Pryor's wedding, but darling…

I know our wedding was far from what any imagined it to be, because who could have imagined such a thing would come to be?

Still, it's a day that stuck in my memory, that doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem fair how it all happened. Yet I thank god every day I am here that I have you, something to fight for, return to and now this baby. I have to come home for you, I have to be there for you and our child that grows inside of you.

Still, something broke in me when you described how you remember that day in the living room, my ring sliding on your finger. I want to promise so much that we will have our moment, a proper wedding, renewal of vows, something when this is all over because you deserve that and so much more, but promises seem impossible in this moment. What is a promise in the middle of a war? What's a promise as I sit in the mud and dodge bullets?

All I know is one thing…. love may have been the last thing we felt on our wedding day, but every day since then we have strived to understand, learn and care for each other, and I know when I think of you, when I look at your photos, that bump that is our child…

There is no doubt in my mind that I love you Bertha Marilla, MY Rilla Ford….do not doubt that ever.

When I come home…we will have our moment in the sun, we will repeat the vows we spoke eighteen months ago, on a day we choose for ourselves as any couple should be able to do.

Love Kenneth.

"There were two of them," Rilla admits in the dark of the night to her mother. Her arms were itchy from the letting and she couldn't sleep from dreams come and go and sometimes it felt like her mind didn't want her to forget. Some weeks were better than others, some nights it wouldn't go away and she would lie awake in silence.

She knows her mother hears because the grip around her goes tighter.

"We know, we… you kept going back and forth, correcting yourself at first we thought you were confused but over time. Your father and I, …well We realized You weren't ready to tell us and we left it alone." Mother says quietly. "I cried when I put it all together, knowing the truth, I had prayed that it wasn't. That they..."

"That they didn't take turns?" She says quietly. She thought it had been over, only to be subjected to it all over again. She ran her hand over her stomach, trying to forget the smell of them, the hands that held her down, covered her mouth. Deep breaths to study herself, and her baby kicked at her reminding her to breathe, to remain calm. It was better these days.

Mother is silent, just presses a kiss on the top her of head and that tells her all she needs to know.

"The baby will be okay won't it?" She asks her arm itching with small scabs from her father's work.

"There are no promises Rilla's, but you should tell the Fords. I know you don't want to tell Ken, but they should know," Mother says quietly.

"What would I even say to them?" Rilla sighs.

"I can deal with that, but they should know, even if Ken is kept in the dark about it until after it's all over." Mother explains to her. "Your father won't let anything happen to you dearest, know that always.

To Lieutenant Kenneth Ford

ID 163322

10th Battalion

CEF,

France

March 28th

Kenneth

I am sure you have already seen the photo I included. Mother was shocked that I had it taken, but things have been changing so fast and I wanted you to see what you have created.

I went in to get a portrait done, but I don't know something came over me as I making conversation. It's still odd to be called Mrs Ford though while going into the city for new dresses made me realize I am far from the only young bride on the island. While they don't know the true reasoning, no one treats me oddly. I said something along the lines that I wish my husband could see this moment in time. Soon I was standing in a pose and the lights hit the sheer of my overskirt and the lace of my Sunday dress. I was cradling our child and he just took the photo and another photo as I leaned against a pillar.

When the proofs were ready Mother was shocked, so shocked that she kept asking why.

I looked at her and asked 'Didn't Father not take photos of you when you were expecting?' She was like of course, but never in such a fashion or have it done by a strange businessman? I reminded her that you were not here and times are changing. These photos are for us, a reminder of what you need to come home to. I have sent some snapshots as well for your collection, that Minnie and Miranda have taken for me. I gave them dates, so you can see the difference.

I wish you were here to know what it feels like, others can feel the baby kick these days it only reminds me that you aren't here to feel like. It's such a surreal thing to witness, to feel. The Baby is well though, getting closer and closer to the day, six weeks to go. How can it be I wonder, already?

Come home,

Love from across the Ocean,

Rilla