Dear readers:)

I'm posting a new chapter.

Our main problem was revealed: Scarlett never understands hints and (I don't know why) always believes Rhett's words.

Well, and our Rhett for some reason is always afraid and can't find the strength to say everything straight. And then we have a little mess, as always.

Enjoy reading:)

I own nothing in regard to GWTW.

Chapter 14.

In late September 1863, while Scarlett and her mother were in Charleston, another bloody battle near Chickamauga took place, and the Southern army was victorious. As a result, the northern army on the western front was blockaded and the soldiers were running out of food.

Seeing this, the Northern commanders fought another battle in late November, near the city Chattanooga, where the Northern army was victorious, saving their western front and also making plans to advance deep into the Confederacy, towards Atlanta.

There was a temporary lull on the front, the sides were preparing their forces for new battles.

Christmas was coming.

Scarlett hadn't been able to visit Tara after Charleston. She realized that her parents would be busy from the early hours till night, and spending time with Suellen was not something she wanted to do. She could not find the strength to visit Mrs Tarleton either. She remembered writing her a letter of condolence in August and receiving a very touching reply, after which she wept all evening.

After saying a warm goodbye to her mother at the train station in Atlanta, kissing her little sister affectionately, Scarlett promised to write to them.

And then it was back to daily duty in the hospital, where the need for some medications was already felt strongly.

After meeting Scarlett in Charleston, Rhett felt more confident about his relationship with her and their future. Talking to his mother, who was very enthusiastic about the idea of being related to the Robillards had also helped and she saw the way her eldest son looking at that 'sweet girl'.

And also the conversation with Mrs O'Hara. When Rhett realized that she accepted him, didn't see him as a disgrace to the family (for reasons he didn't understand though), he felt that he could move forward and he and Scarlett had a future. A future where they have a family, a future where her parents won't turn their backs on them. A future where he has a family again.

Rhett admitted this only to himself, often at night, lying in his bed in hotel room. He was tired of being alone, he wanted a family, he was sick to death of living in hotels. He hated Christmas for the same reason. Meeting it in Belle's bar or in his room alone was unbearable.

Scarlett, on the other hand, loved Christmas, it was her favourite holiday. Once, when they were sitting on the swings in Aunt Pitty's yard in the early twilight, she told him cheerfully about how they had celebrated the christmas season in the old days. About the cosy evenings at home and the little balls with the neighbours from the county.

Then, pausing for a moment, she fell silent. "Those times will never come again," she thought, and ran her hand tiredly across her forehead, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Rhett saw the change in her behaviour and, interpreting it correctly, reached out and took her hand in his.

She looked at him sadly, but then tried to change the subject.

"Rhett, you're coming over for dinner at Christmas, aren't you? Both Melanie and I are inviting you," she asked, smiling with her eyes.

He smiled softly and without letting go of her hand, looked into her eyes and replied quietly, "I'd love to, Scarlett."

Scarlett smiled back at him contentedly, noticing that he wasn't letting go of her hand and that it felt good.

"Thank you Rhett, we'll be delighted, especially Melanie. She's working very hard to make this holiday special, as it's the first time Ashley will be coming for a few days, she told me he's been given a leave of absence for his war service and...," she continued to say something, but Rhett wasn't listening. The name "Ashley" sobered him immediately and a small wrinkle immediately formed between his eyebrows.

So he was coming back. Even if it was only for a few days, he'd be near Scarlett, in the same house as her, in the same rooms...

A strong feeling of jealousy and possessiveness came over him, and without thinking, he let go of her hand and adjusted the scarf around his neck.

Scarlett noticed the change in his mood and asked quietly, "What's the matter, Rhett?"

What could he say to her? That he was jealous of this man like a crazy? That having once heard all those words she had so rashly spoken to this "Honourable Wilkes," he longed to hear them for himself.

She waited patiently for his answer, and he only said, in a deliberately calm tone, "No, nothing, my dear. It's getting late and we seem to have lingered. You'd better go before Aunt Pitty faints because of us forgetting propriety," he tried to make a joke.

Scarlett glared at him, but said nothing, rose from the swing, adjusted her black dress, and said quietly, "I'll see you in a couple of days. Good night, Rhett."

He got up too, walked her to the porch, then leaned down to her cheek and kissed her gently as usual.

"Good night, Scarlett," he replied quietly and she watched him walk away in the direction of the hotel.

The Christmas evening had been tense for Rhett. Even though he knew Scarlett had given up on dreams of Ashley long ago, some part of him didn't trust her, remembering the vivid and emotional scene between them in the library at Twelve Oaks.

And those constant memories of Roy, "It hurts her to talk about him, why does that Wilkes guy always change the talking?" he thought irritably and barely participated in the conversation.

But his eyes were always on her, whether he was speaking to Uncle Henry, barely listening to his questions, or listening to Ashley's musings, or joking with Aunt Pitty, he always returned his gaze to her.

At one moment, she was talking seriously to Melanie about something, then he saw her walk quietly over to the bookcase, and pull out that book from there. He wouldn't mistake it, it was that gift from Roy, a year ago. A children's book about an unusual little girl.

Scarlett walked over to Melanie and said something quietly to her, pointing to the book, but she only stroked her hand affectionately.

Scarlett looked up and suddenly noticed Rhett's eyes following her. She smiled affectionately at him, and he nodded.

Melanie watched Rhett and his nervous behaviour and didn't understand the reason, they seemed to have grown very close to Scarlett over the last few months, especially after Charleston. What was the cause? She mentally pleaded with Rhett not to ruin everything.

Scarlett had excused herself to tuck Wade in and came down absent-mindedly with a book in her hands. "That damned book!" thought Rhett bitterly to himself.

He suddenly wanted to leave. Despair and fear overcame him. What if she never saw him as more than a friend?

Her mother's words immediately came to his mind, "I don't think you've even given her a chance to see anything..."

He needed to be alone and he politely thanked for dinner and was about to leave. Melanie scrutinised his gaze, something wasn't right.

"I'll walk you out, Rhett, ok?" asked Scarlett softly. He only smiled crookedly and replied, "As you wish, Mrs Hamilton."

Scarlett was surprised at this formal treatment, but walked with him into the hall and from there to the porch.

They stood across from each other, but he avoided her gaze. Scarlett decided to be polite and began quietly, "Thank you Captain..." here she stopped herself and decided not to play by his rules. They were getting along so well, he was there for her, she wasn't going to spoil it and continued, "I mean, I wanted to say thank you, Rhett, for coming to see us today."

He just looked at her and barely replied, "At your service, Mrs Hamilton."

Scarlett looked at him sadly and ventured to ask, "What's the matter, Rhett? Have I done something to offend you?"

"She really didn't understand!" he thought with irritation. After talking all evening to this Wilkes, she was hardly paying attention to him! Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was wrong, that she was hardly talking to Ashley more than she was talking to him, rather he was withdrawing from the conversation himself, wallowing in resentment and his own worries, but there was no stopping him. The fear that she would not know his feelings, that he would lose 'this game' flooded his soul and he replied wryly, "You have been so absorbed in your conversations with Mr Wilkes that you could hardly notice anything, Mrs Hamilton!"

Scarlett stared at Rhett and only replied, "I was just talking to him, because he's my friend, like you. He's my childhood friend and my almost-sister's husband, and I can only care for him in this way."

"Oh, my dear, well, yes!" he suddenly exclaimed, and then added louder, "You care so much about me as him, don't you?"

She took a step back, completely unaware of what had earned this reaction from him. She'd thought they'd grown close. She'd even thought they were actually friends. She'd pushed away his words about Belle and their friendship, but now, over and over again, his phrase rolled around in her head, "Grow up, Scarlett, it's just a relationship, a kind of friendship. You and I have a great friendship, and Belle with me... well...you know..."

She shook her head and closed her eyes for a second, chasing the memories away, then caught his expectant gaze and replied quietly, "I'm free to be friends with whoever I want, just like you. Goodbye, Rhett."

She turned to leave, but a voice inside him shouted desperately, "Stop her, you idiot! Stop her! Don't let your fear destroy everything you've built up over the months!"

And he obeyed him. As soon as she turned, he quickly took a few firm steps toward her and gently, barely touching, hugged her from behind by the shoulders.

Scarlett froze, her back feeling his presence so close, his large hands around her shoulders. She could hardly breathe.

Without listening to reason, Rhett acted on instinct, he knew that if he let her go like this, there would be the chasm between them again that had been the summer. The chasm over which day by day they had built the fragile bridge of their relationship.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett," he said almost in a whisper.

She was silent, barely breathing. She didn't understand this outburst or what he wanted from her. It was so easy for her to communicate with him, he was there when her whole world was crumbling, he would hold her to his chest to cry, he was so kind to her, to her son. The only thing she didn't understand was - why? Why was he with her? What was she giving him? It was understandable what he could get from that Belle, but she... So, turning to him, she looked intently into his black eyes and asked quietly, "What do you want from me, Rhett?"

He froze, quietly removed his hands from her shoulders and answered the first thing that came into his head, "I want you not to be unhappy and..."

But she interrupted him with a question,

-"Are you happy, Rhett? Are you a happy man? One who can't even find a way to talk to his father..."

His eyes darkened and he said seriously,

"Stop it! What do you know about my family , Scarlett?Having a good and loving family doesn't make you a relationship expert..."

"Not having any family doesn't make you an expert either," she said calmly.

He grinned bitterly, then said, "I have a family, Scarlett ... I used to. There's just no place in it for me now. That's all."

She stared at him for a long time and he didn't look away.

Finally, he smiled crookedly and asked her, "What else do you know about me?"

And she answered without hesitation, "That you are lonely."

She was right. He knew that after he left his father's house, he was always alone. Thinking of himself, taking care of himself, acting only out of self-interest. But, with her in his life, he was no longer alone. She didn't know it yet, but he tried to build his life now, looking back at this little girl with green eyes.

He couldn't declare his love to her right now, he felt she wasn't ready. But he could hint, although, he smiled fondly, she was so smart, but so naive emotionally. He was sure she wouldn't take the hint, so he took her small hands in his big ones and told her quietly, "Scarlett, you make me feel like I'm home..."

She looked at him in surprise, trying to ignore the fact that she always felt her insides freeze at this man's touch. That she always felt a slight tremble in her fingers and got goosebumps when he walked into one room with her.

"Why me, Rhett?" she asked quietly.

"I always thought you and I were alike, Scarlett," he replied quietly, looking into her eyes.

Scarlett was silent, thinking about his words. So her guess was right, and he was in their house because he was lonely, because they gave him a sense of family. She remembered the first time she'd thought about it in Charleston after talking to his mother.

That explained a lot: his affectionate behaviour towards her and her son, his respect for Melanie, his good-naturedness to Aunt Pitty. He must have seen her as the little sister with whom the older brothers were so fond of fighting. And they loved to fight, especially in the early days. Scarlett seemed to understand the task, the logic was clear, but she still asked him, "So, Rhett, do you like me?"

He hadn't expected such a question, looked at her tensely and replied quietly, "Yes, Scarlett, of course I like you."

"That's it," thought Rhett, "she's got it all figured out..."

But then he heard the next words,

"As friends, Rhett? Do you like me as a friend?"

He looked at her intently again and only nodded. She only saw a friend in him.

"Why do you ask that, Scarlett?" was all he said.

"There is no reason... I mean, Rhett, I think I understand you for the first time. That's just it. I'm glad we're friends with you," she finished the sentence with a faint smile.

Rhett continued to hold her hands in his and looked into her eyes intently. For some reason they weren't smiling, he even thought she looked sad. He needed to think, it was time to leave.

They didn't realize how it happened, he reached up to kiss her, the usual goodbye kiss, and she was suddenly distracted by a sound coming from her bedroom window, Wade seemingly awake.She turned her head slightly towards the window, and he felt her warm lips instead of her soft cheek.

They both froze, and something, perhaps the same instinct that had kept him from letting her go earlier, told him to continue this gentle kiss, knowing he wouldn't get a slap for it.

Their eyes were closed, only sensations remained...His soft, warm lips on hers, his gentle touch. She responded to his kiss, and he felt her confused breathing and drew her gently to him, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Rhett felt her shiver a little, and he sensed it wasn't from the cold air. He pulled her even closer to him, continuing to gently warm her lips with a kiss, his hands stroking her back. He didn't want this kiss to end.

Scarlett didn't realize how the kiss had started, but she felt his gentle touch and it made her respond to him.

His lips and hands warmed her, she could feel his breath, and she thought his heart was beating in a frantic rhythm. Or maybe it was her heart. She timidly touched his shoulders with her hands and he pulled her closer to him. Somehow she didn't want to think about anything, and she didn't want this kiss to end.

They both heard that sound of footsteps behind the door, someone about to step out onto the porch. Scarlett opened her eyes first and jerked away from him. Rhett took a step back.

The door opened and Ashley came out onto the porch with a surprised look on his face.

Rhett saw her trying to quiet the trembling in her hands and avoiding both his and Ashley's gaze.

"Sorry, Captain Butler, Scarlett, I didn't mean to disturb you," here he smiled crookedly, "Wade is cranky and Melanie sent me to get you, Scarlett. Surprisingly, even Auntie can't calm this little boy down today, he needs..."

"All right, Ashley, I'm on my way," she interrupted him, and looking towards Rhett, but not into his eyes, only said quietly, "Good night, Captain Butler," and without waiting for his reply, went quickly into the house.

Rhett, having hastily said good-bye to Ashley, was walking towards the hotel. He had crossed a line in their relationship and he didn't know how he would explain it to her. This was clearly not a "friendly" kiss. Not at all. His heart was pounding frantically, but he walked even faster, hardly noticing the cold winter wind.

Once in his room, he threw his wool coat on the bed, walked across the room, lit the fireplace, and sat in front of it.

He stared at the fire, remembering again and again their kiss. He would give anything in the world to be with her right now and confess everything. Somehow he thought she wouldn't push him away right now.

He loved her and she had to know, it was unbearable to hide it any longer...

Did she love Roy? What feelings did she still have for that man? Would she be able to love him? Or had she already... What if she felt something for him, too... At that thought, Rhett's heart raced, and he jumped up and started pacing the room. He just had to confess everything to her.