It was after midnight when Kakashi heard the front door quietly creak open and shut followed by the gentle sound of feet tip-toeing across the floor of the darkened apartment. Kakashi had gone to bed hours earlier, still exhausted from the mission. He rolled over just as he felt the tatami shift, his eyes cracking open to see Sakura next to him.
"I brought a fish back to life," she whispered, the excitement clinging to each word. "So much has happened, Kakashi-sensei."
He lifted a hand to her face, brushing the loose pink strands away from her cheek. A chill shivered down his spine when the moonlight caught the green of her eyes, illuminating them into bright crystals that looked too similar to those of that Earth nin. For a moment, he could see the flash of her kunai; feel the piercing hot sting of the steel slicing through the meat of his thigh. He yanked his hand from her face suddenly, his eyes turning sharp as they met hers.
"I..." He started, his heart rate slowing down as a cloud covered the moon, taking with it the light that had transformed Sakura into someone else. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I'm just tired."
She didn't say a word as she readjusted their positions, letting him rest his head against her chest. The pink-haired woman moved the fingers of one hand to his hair, soothingly brushing the coarse silver strands back from his face as she began humming a soft song. He didn't need to tell her why he'd recoiled from her; why he'd frozen for a moment afterward, unsure if she was friend or foe. She'd gone through the same thing, and so had every other shinobi. It was their life, and she couldn't fault him for being jittery after such a long mission.
Delivering top secret documents. Sure, she thought to herself, looking down at the older man as he relaxed enough to close his eyes once more, his breathing becoming slower and deeper as he fell asleep. She wanted to ask him what it was he'd seen or done out there, but she knew now wasn't the time. Now, she was going to watch his back once more, giving him cover so that he could peacefully sleep and hopefully wake up more his usual self in the morning.
Sakura was awake and in the kitchen when Kakashi stumbled out of bed late the next morning, his eyes puffy with sleep. She smiled sweetly at him from the kitchen and he found that he couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze.
"Good morning," he mumbled, reaching for his familiar blue mug. Sakura handed it to him and a jolt of electricity traveled through his body when her fingers brushed his. She reached up, touching his cheek the way he'd done to her the night before.
"I made some boiled saury for breakfast," she told him, nodding over to the table she'd set. "I thought it might be nice after two weeks of wild game and food pills."
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and Kakashi turned towards her, his eyes briefly meeting her green ones before he decided it best not to linger. "Thank you, Sakura," he told her softly. "It smells amazing."
They both made their way over to the table and Sakura began babbling all about everything that had happened in the last two weeks. His heart clenched a bit when she told him how she'd gone on a mission to the Land of Rice Fields with Jiraiya in Naruto, searching for one of Orochimaru's hideouts and maybe even Sasuke. The way Sakura's voice hissed the boy's name had surprised Kakashi. But he hadn't had time to ask about it before she was rambling on again, explaining what had happened at the end of the mission; how hopeless and useless she had felt. The words her enemy had spoken to her had cracked her voice as she lifted her eyes to his face. His body stiffened, but he held her gaze for ten long seconds before he spoke.
"You're not dead weight, Sakura. You've never been dead weight."
He reached over the top of the table for her hand, squeezing her fingers reassuringly as he gave her his best effort of a smile. His eyes met hers once more and his heart stopped again, his blood ice in his veins. The smile his words had brought to the woman's face faltered when she saw the change in him. This time she was the one to jerk away, her body pushing her chair back as she stood up and began to clear the table wordlessly. When she got to the sink, she turned to face him, a frown on her face.
"What happened out there, Kakashi?" She whispered. "Why are you here, and yet somehow a million miles away at the same time all of a sudden?"
Kakashi stood but made no movement towards her, his eyes cast to the floor as he thought about what he might say in response to her. How could he look her in the eye and tell her that he had nearly died? And how could he tell her that it wasn't because he was too slow, or his enemy too strong; but because of how he felt about her?
Never before had Kakashi cared strongly enough for a woman - for anyone - that he'd frozen in battle before. It shook him to his core; it made him wonder just what this thing with Sakura was. They'd only started sleeping together a few weeks ago; before that, both of them had danced around their feelings for nearly two months. They had never talked about what they were to each other now that they had blurred the lines.
What a mess he'd made of this thing, he realized sourly. A frustrated sigh was the only sound to leave his lips, and Sakura slammed the plate down, glaring across the kitchen at him as she held the two halves of the broken pottery in her hands.
"You don't get to be frustrated, Kakashi," she told him pointedly, dropping the pieces. "Not when you're the one who lied. Documents, huh?"
She spat the words like venom, crossing the short expanse separating them until she was standing in front of him, head tilted back so she could fully see his face. When he wouldn't meet her gaze again, she reached up, gripping his chin with her fingers, forcing him to stare down into her green eyes.
"Sakura, don't," he warned her, eyes narrowing. She didn't back down, fire blazing behind the green depths.
They stared one another down for a moment, neither one willing to relent. After a few moments, Sakura's touch on his chin softened, her hand moving to cup his cheek gently before she leaned in to brush her lips softly over his. His body stiffened and instead of pulling away, Sakura slammed her hands into his chest, shoving him back against the wall in aggravation.
Kakashi's hands moved up to grip her shoulders, he nubs of his nails leaving crescent shaped bruise marks in the smooth flesh. He pushed her away from him but she only came at him again, gripping one wrist with a vice-like grip while the other tangled into his loose t-shirt, yanking him to her.
Her lips hovered over his again, her breath moist and hot as she ghosted them across his mouth. Her fingers moved from his wrist to his hand, dancing over his palm. "Let me in again, Kakashi. Please," she whispered against his mouth, her tongue sliding along the crease of his lips.
"I said don't!" He spoke forcefully, his hand breaking free from hers and pushing her back again, this time not stopping until he had her in the corner of the room, his six foot frame hovering over her. She reached up to touch him - to reach him - again, but he pinned her wrists above her head, his eyes narrowing down at her.
His grey eye was nearly black now, his body stiff with the adrenaline of battle, pulse racing as he held her there. When she realized she wouldn't be regaining use of her hands any time soon, Sakura just smirked at him and leaned up, covering his mouth with hers. She nipped down on his lip tauntingly, eliciting a growl, his fingers tightened around her wrists. He returned the nip with a more forceful bite of his own, the metallic taste of her blood in both of their mouths now as he kissed her roughly. When he broke away, she was panting, a small trickle of blood seeping from the center of her lip. He watched her take deep, open-mouthed breaths, her body shaking as he kept her there, his eyes watching the blood trickle down the lip to her chin, where it clung to her skin for just a moment before dripping down to her neck.
Before she could speak, his mouth was on her again; this time attacking her neck with nips and rough kisses, his tongue darting out to catch the droplet of blood that had pooled in the hollow of her throat. He grazed her jugular with his teeth, this time gentling his nip before he lifted his head, eyes meeting hers in a sharp stare.
"I can't be gentle right now, Sakura," he told her, voice absent of any emotion. The pink-haired kunoichi arched her eyebrow, her gaze not wavering from his despite the quiver he felt shiver through her body. He didn't elaborate; unsure of how to find the words or if he even wanted to. They stood there like that for a few moments longer in silence before she spoke firmly.
"Then don't be gentle," she told him. "I'm not some fragile flower, Kakashi. I can handle this. I can handle you."
"You don't even know what 'this' is, Sakura."
His voice was flat as he released her, taking two steps back from her. She moved for him once, but when he backed away again, she stopped trying and sat on the couch, looking up at him with a small frown.
"Then tell me. Please," she begged him. "I can't help you if I don't even know what happened to you out there. Did you..." She faltered before continuing, her voice cracking as she whispered, "Did you almost die?"
The air in the room thickened, and Kakashi sighed heavily, turning to head for the bedroom. He didn't answer the question she'd left hanging in the air as he closed the door, silently signaling Sakura not to follow him. She didn't heed the warning and followed, finding him in the bathroom. She stood in the door frame to block him from leaving as she sternly stared at him.
"Stop running away. I'm not afraid of you, Kakashi. If you..." She looked down to the floor before lifting her gaze. "If that's what you think, if that's what-"
"I'm the one that's fucking afraid, Sakura!" He shouted, glowering down at her. "You want to know what happened out there?"
He shoved her back out of the frame, his hands holding her shoulders as he walked her back to the tatami, where he shoved her down, covering her body with his in an instant, his finger running down her jaw before he spread his palm over her throat, pressing her down into the mattress before he kissed her roughly again, his knee pushing her thighs apart. She moaned against his mouth, tilting her head to the side as his lips moved to the side of her face. She heard him reach into the nightstand and then her breath hitched when she felt the razor sharp edge of a kunai pressed to her jugular. He suddenly spoke again, his breath hot against her ear.
"I had an enemy just like this, ready to kill her," he spoke through gritted teeth, lifting his head so that she could now see the same look she'd seen so long ago on that mission to the Land of Waves; that brutal, bloody fight with Zabuza. "And then I thought I saw you," he continued, flicking his eyes to hers. Sakura's eyes softened as he finished telling her his story. "And then everything went cold and dark because she stabbed me, Sakura. And she nearly killed me."
He threw the kunai behind him now, launching it into the drywall and then heaved himself off of Sakura, turning to sit on the edge of the bed, a hand running back through his hair as Sakura lay there, not saying a word as she let what he'd said sink in. His body flinched when he felt her arms wrapping around his shoulders, enveloping him in a tight hug. He finally leaned back, letting the back of his head rest on her shoulder. After a few long moments, he turned his head to see her warm green eyes watching him.
"Sakura..." He started quietly before sighing, his eyes closing. "I hesitated because in that moment, I..." He didn't finish his sentence, letting it trail off as he stood up. "It doesn't matter," he decided, turning to face her, his eyes not meeting hers. "I'm going to shower. You're going to be late to training."
He didn't say a word as he walked to the bathroom, sliding the shoji screen shut behind himself. Sakura didn't follow this time; she just sat there blinking back tears as she wondered what it was that he was so afraid of that he couldn't even bear to look at her now. But he was right, she thought as she wiped away the tears after a moment, moving for the window before she hopped out. She was going to be late. Whatever this was would have to wait until tonight.