Chapter VII

The Awakening of the Beast

TW: Depression

"Again!" I say once more, while moulding my lightning chakra into my palm before shaping it.

Despite the exhaustion that blurs my vision or makes my legs wobble, I don't care; I persist, I continue. My Raikiri is weak and unstable—quite pathetic, rather. It's difficult to keep it under control; the sparks burn my skin as they caress it. I try to strengthen my technique, amplify its power with my chakra, but my bruised chakra network is on fire and I almost collapse. Still, even though unconsciousness threatens to drag me back into its realm, I hold on, endure, and silence the tremors in my entire arm.

Panting heavily, I race to smash through the rocky obstacle in front of me. My hand sinks in and cracks the stone … but it resists. Instead of exploding under the force of the impact, only fragments flew away while the wall crumbled in a sad way. My attack failed miserably. I'm honestly exhausted. I am well aware. My mind like my body screams at me to take a break and I forbid myself to comply. If I cannot push my limits over and over again, I won't progress.

Each shot must be optimal.

Each shot must be precise.

Each shot has to be perfect.

I roughly extract my arm as the natural blades scratch my limb; these few cuts release bloody drops which are lost in the dewy grass, then return to the earth. These ephemeral wounds are nothing compared to the hell that my student must endure if he's still alive. With my chakra vessels boiling like hot water, I convince myself that I deserve it, that this is my punishment. I was the most promising ninja of my generation, a true genius that one could only envy to equal. If I have to compare myself to today, I am pathetic, a monumental disappointment, and this is a euphemism.

"Again," I whisper once more.

I mould my chakra to change its nature into lightning before sculpting its shape, though excruciating pain pulses through my entire being. I cannot create any lightning. However, I notice someone coming to meet me. I temporarily stop my activity with a sigh. How many times do I have to repeat myself? I want to be left alone, is it too difficult to understand? I have no intention of slowing down—on the contrary, I must redouble my efforts.

"Wasn't I clear?!" I grumble dryly between clenched teeth. "Stop interrupting my training!"

"Master Kakashi…"

Umino Iruka… A bit of curiosity overwhelms me for a breath. This must be another desperate attempt by the Hokage to convince me to stop. After all, this isn't the first time that she has sent someone to persuade me to "find help." Nonsense. It's Naruto who terribly needs it; in comparison, it's better to forget me. She's wasting resources that could be used to track down and bring my precious student back to the village.

"Don't you have a class to take care of?!" I hiss coldly between loud, jerky breaths.

With a sweaty brow, I wait impatiently for him to get the hell out of here so I can resume my training.

"We just found Naruto."

I immediately fall into a stupor; at that, I feel like my heart, abused and tortured by overwork, has suddenly stopped. Did I hear correctly? They would have found Naruto? Is it true? Is this a sordid joke? A hallucination of my mind to torment me further?

An excruciating headache hammers me mercilessly; innumerable questions are jostling in all directions, in all corners, like a riot that it's impossible to stop. I am asphyxiating in a tiny box where only the beating of my organ of love can be heard; the outside world has emancipated me from its universe and everything that exists. It only lasts a second, but it feels like an eternity. To believe that I am a victim of the Tsukoyomi a second time, apart from the pain, apart from the despair…

This veil of black and suffocating darkness that had swallowed me up and blinded me is gradually dissipated by this light… However, it's very far from being enough to free me from it. I still expect the worst, convinced that our long-awaited reunion will take place in a morgue…

Slowly, I turn my head to meet Iruka's gaze while holding my breath. The angst is unbearable. Let the abscess be punctured now, before I cling too tightly to this vain hope. I don't want to wait another second and watch my whole world crumbles under my feet one last time…

However, Iruka sketches a smile as radiant as his face.

"He's alive," he says, brushing away a tear trapped in the corner of his eye socket.

I fall in shock. For endless weeks, a colossal weight has finally left my shoulders. An unpronounceable sense of relief washes over my body, which relaxes. It's so sudden that I almost pass out. Pain, in all its forms, vanished forever. The accumulated fatigue catches up to me like a well-placed punch. It takes me a while to regain some semblance of calm, though the tremors persist and grow stronger. If I could, I would shed a tear too.

A silence settles while the wind blows and carries the new leaves in its wake.

"Where is he?" I eagerly ask.

"In the hospital. You're expected there."

"I see. Thank you Iruka."

I turn on my heels to leave… However, I stop. It's Friday and the young ninjas to become have lessons. Without their teacher, they won't learn much…

"Why you?"

"Godaime thought you'd be more inclined to listen to me," he chuckles heartily.

His words take me by surprise. It's true that—now that I think about it—I haven't been very "friendly" lately; a lone wolf who preferred to bare his fangs with aggressive growls. Even Sakura got the silence treatment. I was just … too ashamed to face her.

I greet Iruka with a nod before taking the shortest route to The Konoha Hospital. I don't need to know more right now. All that matters is that he's alive and safe in the village. My heart is already pounding at the thought of seeing him again … seeing Naruto again, hugging him to make sure he's real and alive.

- XXX -

The hospital falls into my sight after a few minutes. Surprised, but not surprised, the closer I get, the more I notice that the security is reinforced; there are even Anbu units guarding the surroundings, on the lookout for the slightest danger. With all the trouble that this infamous group has gone through to kidnap my student, these measures are legitimate. The enemy could very well relaunch an assault to recover him and that sends shivers down my spine.

In front of the doors, I am checked and they make sure of my identity before letting me enter. As on the outside, the interior is closely monitored; even a mosquito would be unable to go unnoticed. Since I was expected there, a nurse in charge of the visitors came immediately to meet me.

"Hatake Kakashi?"

"Yes, it's me. Where can I find Uzumaki Naruto?"

"Wait here a moment, please. I must inform Lady Tsunade that you're—"

Suddenly, an infernal hubbub resounds throughout the building as the ground vibrates for a breath; this earthquake-like jolt made us jump. An ominous orchestra that began with an explosion is accompanied by cries of panic and screams of terror. This kind of cacophony still in its infancy never bodes well. Anxieties rise to the surface and corrupt my rotten pessimistic thoughts. My first guess is that the enemy has already launched an assault…

Not this time.

Not twice.

No, I refuse.

Me and the other ninjas in the room exchange a look and without saying a word, we head to where this noise is coming from. Despite the veil of darkness that settles in me to engulf me again in its abyss, I don't lose hope. I cling to the surface of the water and I hasten my step; the adrenaline rushing through my veins chases away weeks of exhaustion, including pain.

On the way to the intensive care department, we meet staff members who are fleeing. At first glance, there are a few injuries, but nothing serious, although one detail bothers me. They were burned more than anything else; from the reports of the incident of that fateful night, it doesn't look like this group's operating way. They act in the shadows and in silence… Why cause all this racket? A diversion? Possible…

A cold sweat breaks out on my temple when we finally enter the department in question. Panic and chaos are kings of the place. Medical-nin provide care to shinobis in poor condition and scattered here and there. The surrounding walls are cracked along their entire length and the wall in front of one of the rooms is sunk in and completely demolished; to inflict such damage, it requires prodigious strength. The most alarming is this incipient fire. Flames are spreading and coming from the said room in front of the gaping hole.

I run alongside one of the injured to inquire about the situation.

"What's going on?"

The latter coughs and spits blood; his body is all shaking. He tries to speak. Only intelligible words leak from his lips.

However, I don't have time to wait for an answer. A gust of hot wind slices through the air and a shinobi is violently propelled from where the flames have been rising in intensity. The thrown man falls heavily to the ground, escaping a moan of sharp pain; his torso is lacerated with deep, bleeding cuts. Since he's unable to get up or even move, the blow he had suffered must be of a similar force to what is responsible for the badly battered wall.

I stop my questioning and venture into this chaos; too bad for the Intel that could have been useful.

"Did someone warn Lord Hokage?!" one of the ninjas shouts.

I enter this large room intended to monitor the critical and unstable state of the patients. There are four chambers and in front of one of them, a small group of shinobis has piled up and remain on the defensive. Meanwhile, I meet Lady Tsunade who enters in turn, through another door on my left. We exchange a look, but nothing more.

Her preoccupied eyes focus on the cluster of ninjas near us. The anxieties are betrayed on her face bitten with worry; her skin turns pale and a cold sweat breaks out on her forehead. In all, we are less than ten and at first glance, no medical-nin in sight.

"Someone explain to me what's going on!" she orders with a scream as she approaches the room in question, before suddenly freezing in place.

On her heels, I barely have time to take a few steps forward when someone is shouting at us to take cover. Mechanically, I push myself to the side and a ball of living inferno surges in a straight line, igniting everything in its path. I recognize there the Fire Release—The Great Fireball Technique. We are under attack, that's obvious, but why is no one doing anything to eradicate the threat? It's not until I finally manage to see into the bedroom that I understand why.

Before my eyes, this vision of horror paralyzes me and freezes my blood.

In this room demolished by conflagration and destruction, I notice Naruto… It's him … but I don't recognize him. His blond mane has given way to capillary flames which undulate and dance on his head; a long black tail swinging in all directions with the equally fiery tip; a crazy and feral gaze, whose sapphire blue eyes shine like fireflies in the night; a facial expression that I could confuse with that of the Nine-Tails … although his irises are far from scarlet; oversized, sharp claws adorn the tips of his ten fingers.

An incredible amount of blue chakra capable of generating hurricanes carries the burning braziers. Oxygen is scarce, the heat is unbearable and I am forced to raise an arm to protect my face from these suffocating and crushing puffs. I glimpse my unrecognizable student opening his mouth. Flames escape and accompany the rotten growl of animosity; at this, I notice prominent, nightmarish fangs in his upper dentition.

I am plagued by countless questions that torment my thoughts, my brain now broken. I refuse to believe what is happening right before my eyes. I wonder if it's really Naruto, here, there, in front of me. Despite the olfactory overload of sulphur and smoke that fills the place, I don't recognize the infamous smell that sticks to his skin either; it is not his… Yet his face distorted by raw and wild emotions is the same; he has the marks on his cheeks, those birth scars that no one else has. Is it really him? Is it really Naruto?

After an impossible time to define, I came out of this trance when the strong voice of Lady Tsunade imposes itself in this deadly cacophony, requesting answers.

One of the injured standing back volunteers. "We were told a nurse was checking his vitals that he suddenly woke up, attacking anyone who came near him on sight. We tried to stop him, but—"

His speech is interrupted when a kunoichi takes a step too far towards the teenager, who uses his raw chakra like a gust of super-powered wind to push my sister-in-arms back. Her body crashes heavily against the cracked wall that is hanging by a thread now. The force of the blow is such that it tears her a bloody cough before collapsing under her own weight.

However, one detail caught my attention. Uncertain, I focus on Naruto and I analyze each of his gestures, tiny they are, to make sure that I saw what I saw the time of a breath.

"What are you waiting for to subdue him?!" grumbles Lady Tsunade, visibly annoyed. "Use force if necessary! We must stop him from causing further damage!"

"Wait! No one moves! I cry aloud, stepping forward in front of the bedroom entrance, one arm up to tell them to let me take charge of the situation.

Behind me, they look at me with their confused eyes, question marks above their heads. Apparently, I'm the only one who noticed it.

"If you watch carefully, he stays on the defensive and only attacks if he feels threatened," I explain.

As soon as I got close, Naruto's crazy eyes, which scanned the room and surroundings without any real visual target, focused on me and since then, they have not deviated from me. He's staring at me so intensely that his eyelids barely blink, if at all. By slowly moving my arm, his irises as piercing as a hawk analyze and follow the movement of the latter; at that, one of his feet slips back to distance himself from me. In all this, Naruto's breathing is close to hyperventilation and in this chaos of flames and chakra, he trembles like a frightened prey; his torso swelling to its climax with each inspiration and his pupils bulging… He's completely terrified.

I can say that, yes.

It's not aggressiveness, no.

But pure fear, yes.

"I'm taking care of it!" I say, taking a small, cautious step forward, causing the panicked teen to flinch.

"Hatake Kakashi, you—"

"Trust me!" I insist categorically, cutting Godaime off. "Stay back!"

Fortunately, no one tries to stop me and the silence ties the throats. I am left to act, although the general anxiety mingles with the terribly tense and overwhelming atmosphere; the pressure is palpable. In front of me, Naruto is paralyzed with fear, I can see it, feel it. If I make a single misstep, it's over; I only have one chance, and the slightest mistake is fatal. If I am not careful or am too abrupt, I will be seriously injured or worse, my student will see me as a threat to his survival. I don't know why he can't seem to recognize us, but until he calms down, he's a danger to us as well as to himself.

I take a long breath and exhale deeply as a cold sweat slides down my temple. To say that I am calm would be a lie. The heat is stifling, the oxygen rare in this artificial hell. Very close to this crematorium, I have the impression that the flames are licking my flesh, which is quickly reddening.

As I meticulously observe the sapphire-eyed boy's every move, I move excruciatingly slowly, one foot at a time, interrupted by pauses. In response, Naruto takes a step back after each of mine to maintain that safe distance. Unlike the kunoichi before me, he hasn't counterattacked yet while I'm much closer than she was. I convince myself that I am on the right track.

"Naruto? Do you recognize me? It's me, Kakashi," I whisper softly, holding up my palms to show him that I mean him no harm.

I continue my advance in the middle of this kingdom of destruction and fires devouring everything in their path. The toxic smoke seeps into my lungs and I fight myself not to cough, for fear of scaring him. I make myself very small in order to appear harmless in his eyes. I silence my own apprehensions to remain as calm as possible; to that, I look upon him with benevolence and kindness.

"You don't have to be afraid of me."

The blond's breath quickens, although it stabilizes. He makes sure to keep that distance between us. His growls are less loud than they used to be—rather, become hisses. The phenomenal amount of chakra that he was releasing stopped, including the boiling wind fuelled by the infernos that still persist. I don't know if my words reach his ears to resonate with him, but I persevere in reaching him. I cling to this hope of recognizing my precious student when he'll awaken from this trance that has completely engulfed him in unspeakable darkness.

"Easy, Naruto. I won't hurt you."

Taking one last step back, Naruto bumps into the wall behind him. He jumps up, glances over his shoulder, then back at me. He arches his back more and raises himself on the tips of his toes. He persists in backing up in a vain hope of running away from me, convinced that I'm going to jump at his throat. If I rush it all, it's over. This is my one and only chance to reach him; I know this only too well.

I continue my progress which drags on in time, until we are only an arm's distance away. Deadly silence is king. My dark iris doesn't leave Naruto's bright ones and we are analyzing each other, him suspiciously and me sympathetically. Very close to him, his fiery hair licks my face exposed to this burning ember. In order not to lose eye contact, I try to keep my eye open despite the intense heat that blinds me.

A hesitation, an eternity and a risky bet.

Without warning, I take him closer than ever in my arms; his flaming head burns my chest, my face, and I don't care. As our hearts beat in unison, he petrifies from head to toe, including his breath.

"It's going to be all right, Naruto. It's over. I'm here now," I whisper tenderly, hugging him tighter and tighter, for fear he disappears a second time.

Naruto is in shock since he doesn't react. Nevertheless, his blond mane fades and resumes its normal shape, like this bizarre tail; the surrounding flames fade in turn. I finally manage to breathe properly, and I stop suffocating under this burning poison.

I am invaded by an emotion impossible to describe and which takes over my whole being. In my arms, I recognize Naruto; I couldn't care less about that foreign smell that sticks to his skin. I know it's him, here, alive, in my embrace. I had lost hope; I sank deeper and deeper into my own torments in which I let myself waste away and die.

The light finally drove out the darkness.

Suddenly, Naruto's body becomes heavy and I am forced to hold him so that he doesn't collapse on the ground. However, caught off guard at his sudden unconsciousness, I lose my balance and fall backwards onto my buttocks, with the teenager secure in my strong, invincible arms. He's passed out, but his face looks so peaceful … to the point of thinking he's asleep. By brushing the tips of my fingers on his cheeks, I can say beyond any doubt that it is indeed Naruto, but above all, the features of his face are finally familiar to me.

Naruto, I will never let anyone hurt you again.

On my life, I swear to protect you and watch over you.

I will find a remedy for your suffering, you can trust me.