After dinner and saying goodbyes and goodnights to everyone, it was just Mom, Dad, Aihe, and I. Mom offered that we go to the shore and wait for Ocean. One part of me was ecstatic with the idea since this is what we always did after dinner when I was little, but the other part felt that Ocean would communicate my guilt about Eyarr with my family. Even though Ocean never spoke, it had its own way of communicating everything it felt.

I said I'd join them for a bit and then go to bed.

"Meli, what's wrong? You used to be so excited about seeing the Ocean after dinner." Mom commented. I shrugged.

"I don't know, I'm just… I'm not feeling it right now. I'll still stay for a bit, though." I tried forcing a smile, but I knew Mom could see through it. She was silent for a second or two before telling Dad and Aihe just to go check on Grandma and that she'd stay with me.

When Dad and Aihe left, Mom gently offered me to follow her. Initially, I wasn't sure where we were going, but then I recognized the path. It was the path that led up the mountain where the stone tower of past chieftains was. As we marched up the steep inclines, I ran my hand against the plant growth on the sides. The soft greenery under my fingers was comforting and brought back memories of Grandpa Tui and Mom bringing me up here as a child, giving me insight, and teaching me lessons from my chieftain ancestors.

Upon reaching the top, a strong gust of wind blew through my hair, a strand blowing into my face. I sputtered it out and pushed it back behind my ear, quickly following behind Mom as she stopped next to the stone tower. The conch shell mom had placed on the top so many years ago was now covered in moss and vines, keeping it in place.

On the day of my voyage, I placed a conch shell, too, not on top but rather at the base of the stones. It was my way of honoring the new age of voyaging brought in by Mom. And now, with Aihe as chief, she placed a shell next to mine. Upon gazing at the tower again for the first time in years, I could envision the generations following us.

A spiral of shells, just like the spiral on Mom's sail, the rock tower in the center, and the shells extending out like limbs on a tree.

It was a beautiful vision of what could be.

"Laeli," Mom said, grabbing my attention. I joined her side where she stood, overlooking the cliff's edge, providing a perfect view of our village below and the reef and ocean before us.

She turned to face with a look of concern.

"Laeli… I'm still your mother, I know when something is wrong." The way she looked at me, I just knew I couldn't hide it. I may have only been home for like a day, but I knew to Mom, I hadn't changed all that much. With a defeated sigh, I took a seat and rubbed my face.

"I… I don't even know where to begin." She took a seat next to me.

"Thoughts don't have to make sense." She assured.

"I-I… didn't expect to ever be able to come back home. It was just supposed to be a simple plan to talk to the gods about how I ended up so far away from home. Then Maui told me that the gods said I had to make a choice, and then Eyarr got upset because he thought I was choosing between him and my family, but it's… way more complicated than that! And I got mad at him for assuming, and then the wind and ocean started getting aggressive, and then the next thing I knew, I was on the beach, and I didn't want to believe it was real. It was too good to be true, and then I saw you and Dad… And I just knew this was real, but I still don't know how to handle it!" I heaved in some heavy breaths after feeling a mild sense of relief getting that off my chest.

I turned to Mom, and she was taken aback, to say the least.

"You've been holding a lot in, haven't you?" In response, I let out a shaky cry, harshly running my hands through my hair, pulling my shell comb out, and letting my hair fall around my face.

"I don't know what to do…" I could feel my body shaking as I explained my and Eyarr's fight to her. I didn't blame him for being angry, but I was angrier with myself. I never intended for him to feel like he was a choice, my wording was garbage, and I could never take it back.

"Laeli, why do you think he feels that way?" Mom asked, "Why do you think what you said hurt him?" I looked at her from the corner of my eye, feeling tears well up, feeling even more guilty.

"Because I made him feel like he wasn't worth the same as you all." I saw her raise an eyebrow. I didn't know how else to explain it.

"I didn't want to make him feel like that! I really didn't! But when Maui told me everything, I guess… I think I needed to think my reaction through, I acted on how I felt at the moment. And I regret everything I said and did. Like as soon as I said what I did, I regretted it. But… now I don't think I'll get a chance to fix that."

"Laeli… relax. I promise there is a way to fix anything if you just give it some time."

"That's the problem. I had time… and I still fucked up."

"Laeli, take a deep breath. Listen, I may not know everything about this young man, nor do I need to know everything, but it seems to me both your feelings got lost in translation. In a situation like that, listening to each other is important."

"Mom, I don't think it's that easy. I don't think I have a chance to reconcile, or if I even deserve it… there's no point. He trusted me with so much emotional baggage, and then I just… I turned my back on him. I can't forgive myself for that."

"You would never go out of your way to hurt someone. I raised a smart, confident, and loving daughter in you, same with your sister. " There was a pause as I processed her words, but then she had one more thing to say.

"He loves you, doesn't he?" For a moment, my heart fluttered.

"What?"

"You heard me. My mother's intuition tells me that he confessed." I was stunned, but she wasn't wrong.

"He… he did… say that he… loves me. Yes." I slowly admitted. I saw the corner of Mom's mouth twitch into a small smile.

"Mmm… and another thing tells me you haven't quite processed that." I couldn't even bring myself to admit anything else. Mom was right.

"How do you know all of this?" I flatly asked. I felt her nudge me with her shoulder.

"One, because I'm your mother. Two, because I understand, sort of, what you're going through." I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion.

"How?"

"You know the story of how I met your father," she began, and I slowly nodded, having heard it numerous times, "but it wasn't just as easy as confessing our love for each other. It took a long time. Your father still suffered nightmares from the pain he endured and had to physically and emotionally heal. I had to give him space, which was challenging; I didn't want to see him in pain. But when you're on your healing journey, sometimes you need space from the ones you love. And, after your father took as much time as he needed, we finally married and had you." I brought my knees to my chest, resting my arms and chin.

"But, I feel like, for me and him. It's more than giving him space. I'm so far away from him. I can't just fly back and help him."

"You will find your way."

After the conversation with Mom, I felt I had way more on my mind than before. But somehow, I began formulating a plan to fix my relationship with Eyarr. Mom tried to tell me not to stress about it too much and to enjoy my time at home. It was like she knew something I didn't.

Either way, I took her advice and focused on being a part of my community, just like I used to.

One afternoon, Aihe and I were working on repairing frayed ropes on some of the canoes. I climbed down from a mast to secure the knot through a hook.

"So tell me about him!" I glanced over at her.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb with me, c'mon! About time you actually had an interest in a guy." She smirked at me, resting a fist on her hip, her other hand gripping a rope.

"And since when do you care?" I glared at her.

"Since the fact that he's not from around here! I mean, let's be real. Based on what you've said about him, he sounds cool! He's got white skin and fair hair… very interesting…" I had to roll my eyes.

"Oh please, you never liked talking about boys. You don't even prefer guys."

"Yeah, but this one is mysterious, ooohohooooo." She annoyingly wiggled her fingers in my face.

"Shut up, Aihe."

"What! Forget about me never being interested in boys, you have always been hard to impress! 'Specially when we were teenagers!"

"Well, maybe it's because I had a huge role to fill, and I didn't want my time wasted with a bunch of horny, unfocused boys. Besides, I'm an adult now."

"And so am I. How does that make it any different?" I sighed in defeat. I couldn't hide much from my sister.

"Because I messed up with him!" I exclaimed, unable to take any more of her bothering me. She watched me with wide eyes, holding her hands up defensively.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to get you riled up." I sighed and rubbed my face.

"No, no, it's fine… I just… I'm just really frustrated with myself."

"Why? What do you mean you messed up?" I swallowed hard and relayed a shorter version of what I explained to Mom last night. Once I finished, she leaned against the mast with wide eyes.

"Laeli…" I put my hand up to stop her from saying anything else.

"I don't want to hear the 'I'm sorry," I paused momentarily, realizing Eyarr had said the same thing to me. My sister looked at me awkwardly, waiting for me to say something else. But I couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to say anything else.

"Uh, you okay?" I pursed my lips and let my arms fall to my sides.

"I… I'm just gonna go for a walk. I need to clear my head." I hopped down the canoe without another word and headed away from the village. I was not in the mood to talk about my situation with Eyarr anymore. And I didn't care if anyone came looking for me, I wanted to be alone, and I knew returning to the village wouldn't help.

Maybe the old cave of ancestors would be a decent spot to chill out and get some of the frustration out. I followed the path up to the cave entrance, finding a torch and lighting it. As I made my way through the lava tubes, I gazed up at the carvings on the walls done by my ancestors thousands of years ago. I ran my hand over the carvings, almost hearing the whispers of the past echo in my ears.

Upon entering the cavern, I took in the ambiance, water dripping from the ceiling, the roaring of the waterfall echoing into the cove, and the sound of the waves lapping in the shore.

It was peaceful compared to the busyness of the village. And I already felt I could relax for a moment. I sat against a rock, leaning on it, and digging my feet into the sand. For a moment, it was quiet, and I took a deep breath in, feeling it reach the bottom of my lungs.

"You know, you get your handling of stress from your father." I practically jumped out of my skin, hearing a voice from seemingly nowhere. I frantically looked around to see who was here with me, but I didn't see anyone… which felt more concerning.

"Huh-wha-?" I exclaimed.

"Easy there." I turned to my right and jumped again, looking at a glowing blue figure standing to my left. I rubbed my eyes to get them clear again. Once I refocused, I made out the figure. I was initially caught off guard because it looked almost like Dad. But after a moment, I soon realized that it had to be my grandfather…

Lawai'a.

I'd heard his name in stories from Dad and Aunt Huihana. But it'd been a long time since I thought about or talked about him.

"Grandpa?" I asked in disbelief. Grandpa's figure refocused once more so I could take in his features. Dad's hair and cheekbones, but he and Aunt Huihana shared the nose. And I recognized the moles on his face and shoulder that my twin cousins, Amiri and Rua, had.

"Laeli." He replied with a smile.

"How-… why are you here?"

"Well, something told me my granddaughter was struggling, and I came to help. Just like your great-grandmother came to help your mother." I was still baffled by this whole thing, but in my mind, I knew nothing was threatening about him. After a moment or two, comfort ran through me, and I felt calmer. Grandpa didn't have to say much for me to unload everything. He sat there and listened to me, patiently waiting to get it off my chest. I saw him smile upon mentioning Eyarr's name and the conflicting feelings going on.

"Well, you're your father's daughter…" he sighed. I turned to him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father had- well, still does have the tendency to overthink."

"How am I overthinking?" He comfortingly touched my back and looked me in the eye.

"You've told me everything about how you've been feeling, not just about the situation, but about this young man and what your mother and sister have said about it. You've told me about what he said he was feeling, too. And to me, it seems that you were, and still appear to be, convincing yourself that unfinished business is left here." I shifted my eyes around, already feeling uncomfortable with the thought of knowing where he could be going with this, "Laeli, look at me."

I faced him, feeling my lip quiver a bit, but I tried to fight it.

"This may seem harsh to say, but I feel that deep down, you know that your life here on Motunui has come to its end. It's time for you to turn to your future on New Berk. You said that it's another home for you. And you found bonds with new people you didn't want to lose despite the choices given to you. You know your sister has taken up the mantle as chief, and she is just as capable of it as you are and were. But I think now, it's time for you to refocus your mind and turn towards what your future holds. The longer you hold onto the past and what you couldn't control then, then the more difficult the future will be."

Those last few words echoed through the cave as I processed his words. I could feel my heart fluttering around with anxiety as I thought about it. I didn't want him to be right… but I knew he was. Just like he said, deep down, I already knew.

"But I'm here now anyway. What do I do?" He pulled me close for a hug.

"For now, just think about what your family has told you, and when it's time, I think you'll have no issue getting back."

"How do you know that?"

"Call it… intuition." I fought back some tears with a shaky laugh.

"If you say so."

"I do. Now, go back home. I don't want your parents and sister worrying about you. And I promise I'll see you soon." I gave him a grateful smile and shared hongi with him, slowly making my way through back the tunnels and towards the village.

Maybe I was just overthinking a bit.

If I played my cards right, I could go back and rectify this.