Chapter XXIII

Pushed to the Limit

To my great relief, we hardly encountered any ninjas or villagers. The few people weren't interested in us nor did they turn their heads in our direction. Good; less anxiety. After an hour of wandering around the village to make sure we don't run into anyone, I finally arrive at the building where my apartment is on the second floor. I notice that the sapphire-eyed boy started to stir once upstairs. I don't know if it's due to curiosity or fear, but since his heart is regular, I opt for the first hypothesis; ever since we left the hospital, he has remained relatively calm. Glancing over my shoulder, Naruto is alert and the exhaustion seems to have left him. Has the night refreshed him since he sleeps during the day or has he rested enough in my arms?

Maybe. I cannot say.

When we enter my small vestibule housing both the kitchen and a non-existent living room, I turn on the light by reflex. In response, the teenager arches his back and lets out a complaint, but nothing more. Although he can see in the dark, I can't; Naruto will have to get used to it, especially if I have to host him in my home.

"Sorry, but unlike you, I can't see in the dark," I tell him before bending down to lower him.

Eyes half-closed, Naruto does not complain. He unrolls his tail from my abdomen before leaving my back. Frowning, he sniffs and scans the place while keeping one arm raised to reduce the light bombarding his retinas. I'm relieved that he didn't try to destroy the light sources… With his lightning, he could well be able to cause a blackout throughout the building. He's photosensitive, of course, but that does not harm him.

For now, since he seems to be doing much better since he can stand up without misery, I want to settle the matter of his rather unpleasant and putrid body odour that has been simmering since his return to the village. Over time, I got used to it to the point of not having to pinch my nose anymore, but I don't need this nauseating perfume to anchor in my walls.

"Naruto, follow me. You're disgusting."

His tail twirls uselessly, expressing his displeasure at my choice of words, and I don't care. So as not to waste time or risk seeing him stay there, I cautiously grab his wrist to force him to follow me. Obediently, he complies. I lead him to my bathroom and since the light illuminates said room enough, I don't have to blind my student any further. I find a towel and I resolve to offer him my things as a change of clothes. It will be a little big for him, but I don't have anything else on hand.

"I hope you know how a shower works," I sigh. "You need it badly. You stink, Naruto."

Perplexed, the sapphire-eyed boy proceeds to sniff his own self. He doesn't seem convinced to me. I take off his worn and torn t-shirt with yet another sigh.

"Come on," I insist. "Stop relying on me. I'm not going to do everything for you."

As he lets me do whatever I want, a detail captures my attention. The mark on his chest is different; instead of the flame-like ripples that adorned the diamond, they gave way to ebony scratches resembling lightning bolts. Curiosity pushes me to observe it with insistence. Since Naruto started producing electricity to the point of perpetually giving me shocks of static electricity rather than being too hot and boiling, it makes sense that the mark changed if it transcribes his elemental affinity. However, I don't know why it changed…

Then the very obviousness hits me.

The nature of my chakra is lightning. Apparently, it seems that Naruto is imbued with the nature of the chakra he devours. But that also means something else… I'm not the first one to whom he ate the chakra since his nature is wind and not fire. This finding snatches a cold sweat from me. I will have to wait until tomorrow to confirm some of my doubts…

The teenager seems disconcerted by my visual fixation on his mark, to the point where he slides his hand over it, as if trying to understand my sudden interest in it. To reassure him, I ruffle his blonde hair, ignoring the tingles it produces.

"It's nothing. Take off your clothes while I run the water for you. Once clean, I'll give you my chakra, is that okay with you?"

A smile appears on his face and without the slightest shame, removes his jogging and his underwear. Mechanically, I try to avoid looking at his intimacy that I see in spite of myself. At least, nothing at this point has changed… Moreover, Naruto kept his forehead protector which I remove roughly with a sigh.

"I said everything…"

I run the water while my student observes me while waiting for the continuation of the things. Unfortunately for me, it's as if I had to take care of a child; being a nanny is not part of my shinobi obligations and I categorically refuse to submit to these responsibilities. With exasperation, I explain to him while showing and pointing at the objects; the use of soaps, rinsing, getting dressed … absolutely everything.

"Once you're done, you can join me. I'll wait for you in the other room."

After analyzing the water with touch, the teenager reluctantly steps inside the shower. Gently, I close the glass door before turning on my heels without looking behind me. I slump into one of the chairs in my kitchen, letting out the biggest sigh of my life. Naruto exhausts me both physically and mentally. I hope he understood me well and that he is able to take a shower on his own normally…

Honestly, I wish.

I refuse to wash him.

It's out of the question.

While waiting for him to finish his job, I started reading my favourite novel. Humidity is setting in my apartment since I left the door open so as not to cause unnecessary anxiety. I just want to go to bed after feeding Naruto. I'm exhausted in every way possible.

After many minutes, I hear the water stop. I hold my breath; the moment of truth is approaching… Although I don't wait long, time seems to have stood still.

When I see my student come out of the bathroom, to say I'm disappointed would be an understatement. Naruto is soaked; the clothes and the headband are also. He leaves many water droplets in his wake. He didn't dry himself properly, if at all, and he immediately dressed in my oversized clothes. This disastrous picture causes me to clench the bridge of my nose as I close my eye, fuming to myself.

Annoyed, I stand up to get a towel while Naruto stares at me with a disturbing neutrality. Due to constant fatigue, I lack patience and I am irritated to see him fail such a simple task. However, he doesn't seem to be angry with me—rather, he doesn't look bothered at all.

The towel in hand, I set about drying his hair roughly. At least he's clean and he smells good … well, he no longer smells of carrion, but his particular odour persists despite the soaps attenuated under it. One thing is certain, this perfume is not human and is very unpleasant and aggressive for my sensitive nostrils.

"You're a complete idiot," I mutter before quickly swiping the rest of his body to remove as much water as possible.

Naruto will have to endure that unpleasant moist feeling. In an hour or two, the clothes will dry and they are not wet enough to make him sick. That's when I notice that the veil of static electricity has left him. I wonder if the water is in question and if it will come back… I hope with all my heart that it's a thing of the past now.

After wiping him off, I silently ask him to follow me to the bedroom. The light from the entrance—as with the bathroom—is bright enough to plunge the room into darkness where I manage to see, not to mention the window which allows the night glow to illuminate everything more. As I sit on my sheets mentally preparing myself to let his fangs sink into my flesh, the teenager watches the surroundings with interest unlike before, overwhelming his attention from then on. Somehow he must know that this is my bedroom and the place I occupy the most here.

Then his deep blue irises stare at something. It's only when he approaches my headboard that I guess what intrigued him. Naruto picks up one of my frames, the one containing the photo from when Team 7 was just made official.

"Me, you, Sasuke, and Sakura were all four of Team Seven," I explain to him, carefully analyzing his reactions. "You had just graduated Genin and I was in charge of your team under the recommendation of Hokage the Third. You were twelve at the time."

His impassiveness disturbs me.

"Does that mean anything to you, Naruto..?"

My student does not take his eyes off the frame nor react to my words. He frowns before putting a hand against his head. I frown. Is he finally remembering something? He starts to grind his teeth, clutching his blonde hair as his breath quickens. He suffers from it, but I don't try to stop him in the hope that he remembers, even if it's a pointless detail.

However, Naruto abruptly looks away and hides the photo by putting it back upside down. From then on, he calms down little by little. This calculated gesture… I understand with disappointment that he does not want to remember anything. By thus avoiding seeing an element of his past capable of resurfacing lost fragments, he probably protects himself from his traumas by embracing his amnesia.

Naruto is not ready.

But I'm sure now.

It's possible for him to remember.

The feral boy dodges eye contact with me, as if he's ashamed and can't face me.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. It's okay," I reassure him before offering him one of my arms to clear his mind and it works.

As if this episode had never happened, with his irises shining like a thousand lights, he comes to meet me to seize it. Since he feeds at twilight, I suspect hunger must have been tugging at him for quite a while now. Although I undergo this ritual every day, I cannot get used to it; his bite still makes me twitch and mechanically, my body stiffens and my pulse quickens. Naruto bites me delicately, his canines digging and tearing my flesh. He devours an acceptable amount of chakra even though I can read in his face that hunger is still gnawing at him. After each session, fatigue possesses my whole being and haunts my mind. Immediately, I treat and bandage my wounds under the curious gaze of the blonde. Although he is gentle, he scratches me a little. The mouth being a source of many bacteria, I have to keep my injuries healthy; nothing is more infectious than the human gob.

For the first time, I will sleep in the presence of the feral boy with an unpredictable temper. This germinates a lot of anxiety in me and to say that I am serene would be a lie. If I take his fearful personality into account, I doubt he would leave during my slumber; if I think about our relationship, which I find unhealthy, he shouldn't try anything either. Since he sleeps during the day, I don't have to worry about preparing a place for him to sleep or sharing my bed with him. Which I don't want at all, not to mention that my bunk doesn't have room to accommodate the both of us.

"I need to rest, Naruto," I say, crawling under the covers. "Please don't do anything stupid while I sleep, will you?"

True to his silence, he does not answer me, but I feel that he has understood me. Naruto stares at me for a moment, then scans around until his irises gaze outside. With my eye open, I watch him to see what he will do. Since I don't have a playful puzzle at hand, Naruto will have to go without any activity for this night … at least, as he always did when he was locked up between four walls.

After the time of a breath, he climbs on the surface in front of my window. He leans against the left ledge—thus keeping me in his line of sight—before sitting down and embracing his legs in front of him and his own person with his black tail. I guess he intends to contemplate the dark sky while watching over me in some sense. I take off my headband and place it on my headboard, then I turn my back on him to be comfortable … well, to no longer feel his piercing gaze directly on me.

"Good night, Naruto."

A strange feeling overwhelms me. I'm used to being alone and living alone. His presence makes me uncomfortable, but in an illogical paradox, silences the ghosts of my own past which I can hardly get rid of. I can't tell if it's the presence of Naruto himself or this Naruto I have to take care of that's creating this confusion in my exhausted mind. He is … different, and the old Naruto leaves a void in me.

With all my heart, I long to see the Naruto I know again when he's ready to remember who he really is.