The sleep had been silent and peaceful. An empty black, devoid of trickery. The first one since the night before she first saw him again.
It didn't make sense. Reaching into a further level of unconscious than the one Noodle was used to, or at least understood. A spiral of delusion was circling deeper. Russel was right, proper help was needed. Once she had run out of the sleeping pills.
Both men had left her bed. She expected 2D gone, of course, and was relieved the stranger had chosen to vacate inconspicuously also. Noodle checked her phone. 11:27. He hadn't even needed to get up early to sneak out. Probably just got bored of waiting and had things to do. That suited her just fine.
A jaunty whistle approaching from the hallway caused her to bolt upright. Great, he hadn't left. How did Murdoc and 2D throw hookups out in the past? From what she had little choice but to overhear, it often involved lies, yelling and occasionally one more go-around for the road. None of which she was in the mood for.
The beginning of a reasonable request was caught in her throat as 2D pushed the door open, a mug in each hand.
"Hiya. Got a coffee. Even if you don't drink it, you used to at least like the smell, so thought it might help."
He popped it by her bedside and sat in the chair opposing her in the bedroom. He sipped at his own drink, seemingly quite content.
This was far from the most shocking thing that had happened to Noodle recently, but it was new. Which brought a certain perplexity to both her thoughts and her expression.
"You're still here." She observed.
"Said I would be, innit."
"You were here before I went back to sleep. I didn't see you. And now you're here when I wake up. You've never still been here."
"Maybe you're still sleeping." 2D suggested. He seemed blissfully unaware of how backwards this made the rules feel to her. He was almost certainly right, but that wasn't the point. Staying the whole night and still being there the next day was real, alive person behaviour. People didn't fall asleep in dreams and wake up still in them. Why was he here?
Why the fuck was he here?
"Do you enjoy turning up?" She asked him, a little more venom in her tone than she intended, "And just… existing, until you don't anymore. Do you wish it was different, or that you were somewhere else?"
"Uh…." 2D scratched at his head, finding the right words, "For the first two yeah, no on the third one. I like being here, but at the same time, I feel like I gotta be here. Like, even if I didn't want to be here no more, I wouldn't stop. If that makes sense."
"It doesn't." She said flatly, a little offended at being treated like a great-grandmother in a home, being visited by her ambivalent children. "What about when you visited your parents?"
"That was 'cuz they wanted to see me."
"And the week I never saw you for more than a couple minutes, if at all?"
"They kept taking you away from me."
She rolled her eyes. Again with the mysterious arbitrators.
"I've been here the whole time, D."
"Sometimes I couldn't get to you."
She believed that he believed it, at least. He was a terrible liar, and the panic he expressed when a dream preceding an extended leave occurred, followed by the relief and assurance when he finally came back, showed some sibilance of distress on his part. Anything was possible in whatever afterlife limbo it was that he'd likely wandered off and got stuck into.
"Like, this is nice and all, but it's not right. Is it?" He pushed for her involvement.
"No. But it's what's happening."
"And course I wish it were different. Wish you hadn't got that bleedin' car. Wish I'd never had the idea for that video in the first place. Wish we just would've said sod it and had the noodles with Murdoc's stash in it. Wish we could just hang out again. Properly, like we used to. Not like this. This doesn't count."
An urge to snap at him rose within her, which she attempted to subdue by grinding her teeth. That was easy for him to say. For Noodle, it was this or nothing. Partially by choice, she had thrown most of the rest of the world away for this time. For him to not value it was more than a little insulting.
"But, it's the best I can do." He admitted with a shrug, "For now, at least. I'm still hoping it can go back to normal."
"Hope?!" Noodle spluttered, her patience for his naivity completely withered, "What are you hoping for?! What's back to normal? There is no hope, there is no going back, D, this is as good as it's going to get! Even this is more than it should be! For Christ's sake, you're dead! A dead person! Not coming back! I don't know if it's you that can't accept it, or it's me, but I draw the line at kidding ourselves into thinking there is any kind of back to normal! I'm done thinking that! You aren't in the real world, the real world is just me! You exist only in my head, and don't ever, ever try to convince me otherwise again, or I'll find a way to get your arse out of there as well, I promise, I don't care how much it would hurt. I'll get my fucking memory wiped if I have to."
She panted slightly as she let the words settle, still glaring at 2D. He had no retort, it was obvious in his eyes. Only a sad rumination of the words neither of them wanted to hear, but one still had to accept.
Growing nervous from the silence, Noodle thumbed at her bracelet, only to curse herself for it, an aftershock of anger emerging.
She ripped it off and shook it at him.
"It was shit like this" she spat, "That made me feel so crazy to begin with. You couldn't have just chatted, could you? Say the same stories I've heard a million times to make me feel better. Tell me you loved us and you were in a better place. Had to make me think there was a chance I could reach you. Could save you."
"I'm the one trying to save you." He muttered weakly.
"By doing what?! Giving me old tat you were too mopey to give me when you were alive? Walking in on me in the bathroom?! Tell me one way things have actually got better for me since you started showing up. Because from where I'm standing-"
"I dunno how to do anything better!" 2D yelled at her.
If he was hoping it would stop her, he was wrong. Her voice cracked as she resumed, "-From where I'm standing, all it's doing is showing me that I'm incapable of living a regular life without you. Which is so shit to know, and you're a dickhead, a stupid bastard, for showing me that. It's the worst thing you've ever done to me."
She hurled the bracelet at him, dinking him in the shoulder and flopping onto the floor.
2D looked at it, then up at her. A sour silence filled the air, Noodle waiting expectantly with her arms folded.
"Aren't you pissing off, then?" She asked eventually, growing restless. "Isn't the Pulse gonna smash up through the floor and eat you or something?"
"I keep telling you. I'm not going nowhere."
She scoffed, doubtful as to how long that would last. He still didn't get it, and there wasn't a clearer way to explain it with words than the ones Noodle had used. She had to prove it. And she had an idea on how. He wasn't going to leave, she wasn't going to wake up? Time to call his bluff.
"Fine, then I need you to come out with me today." Noodle told him. "I have to see something and I want you to see it too."
He nodded hesitantly.
"Wait at the front door. Just need to change and grab something. I'll be 2 minutes."
"2D, have you got 2 minutes?"
Despite being the one who had coined the nickname, rarely did Murdoc refer to 2D as such, other than interviews or radio shows or anywhere else where his typical names of choice would be censored.
That meant these '2 minutes' were probably work related, a theory that was evidenced by the dozen or so papers in Murdoc's hand that 2D had left in his room a few days prior. Music was 2D's second favourite conversation topic with Murdoc, behind discussing which of the current crop of popstars they would or wouldn't do. Murdoc's takes were curt, definitely, but often correct, and 2D was grateful to have someone so assured of quality. In both departments.
Noodle looked up from her guitar to grin at Murdoc, which he ignored as he sauntered in 2D's direction. In the few short months in her new home, or first home for all intents and purposes, Noodle had figured out that making Russel and 2D happy was both very simple and very gratifying. 2D was easy to understand, and Russel was always caring and kind, which made the moments she couldn't understand him manageable. She was less clear on Murdoc. Sometimes he would grumble something that made him sound angry, but 2D and Russel would look happy. Other times he would say something joyfully, but the others would look horrified.
2D was sitting cross-legged on the floor, hunched over a keyboard when he looked up at Murdoc. He looked a little confused.
"Course, mate!" 2D grinned. Murdoc squatted next to 2D so that his head was only a foot or so higher.
"Listen, son." He purred, "You know I don't like to ask too much of you, given the whole… well, you know."
He gestured at 2D's eyes and head. 2D nodded obediently, his smile unfaltering.
"I don't want to give you more than you can handle. You write some lyrics and riffs, Russ turns it into a beat, I turn it into the next smash hit, yeah? Nice little assembly line."
"It works well great, Murdoc." 2D concurred.
"I'm glad you agree mate, I really do. You know, you've been given a lot. That voice, that face, the chance at being truly immortalised, even a little jamming buddy. I'd just hate to see it all go down the swanny."
2D shared a quick worried look with Noodle, who was trying her hardest to understand the conversation. Murdoc having doubts, not believing in their ability to succeed, was wholly out of character for him.
Had he come for a pep talk?
"Don't worry, Muds." 2D put a hand on Murdoc's shoulder. "This albums gonna be wicked, and everyone's gonna see you for the rock god you is."
Murdoc glanced at 2D's hand, his nose twitching slightly.
"I hope so, 2D. It's important to me, y'know? Which brings me to this." He held up the papers. Slowly, like an alligator approaching a deer, he began rolling them up into a bat. "You have a very important role, D. Easier than my own, and Russels, but still, important. And like I said, I don't like to ask much, but on this occasion, I am asking, actually I am pleading, begging you-"
Murdoc stood quickly, keeping low enough to keep 2D within striking distance, and punctuated each word with a hard thwack from the rolled up paper, each one finding the target of 2D's head and face.
"TO WRITE - SOME - NORMAL - SODDING - LYRICS!"
2D retracted into himself like a tortoise, shielding his head with his hands. Noodle covered her mouth with her hand, trying to prevent the sound from emerging.
She could hold it in no longer when 2D gave a pitiful whimper. She burst into a fit of giggles, letting the guitar fall the short distance to the ground to hold her stomach.
The men looked at her.
"That funny, is it?" Murdoc interrogated.
"Anata ga sore o suru to, waratchau yo!" She agreed, before mimicking the swinging of the papers. "Whack, whack, whack!"
"I'm glad you're having fun, love." He growled gently, turning back to 2D. "I, on the other hand, am PRETTY - BLIMMIN - MIFFED." He finished with more smacks.
"What's wrong with them?" 2D called from under his hands.
"What's wrong with them?! Did you even read them, or did you just wazz them out while on one of your painkiller booze and dope cocktails?"
"Depends, what one you on about?"
Murdoc shook the paper bat at him with a snarl. 2D scooted a couple feet further away, making Noodle giggle all the more.
"They're always gonna look worse with no tune!" 2D protested, "And I thought we were tryna make them open to interprenation."
"No no no, open to interpreTation is good." Murdoc explained and corrected, a little spit coming out with the emphasised t. "Open to interpreTation keeps people coming back, and it's a cheat code to giving the critics stiffy's. You tell me, right now, what can be interpreTed from…"
He unrolled and shuffled the papers until he found his example, and read aloud.
"'I'm 2D, won't you buy me, piano chord, dictionary.' That's it! It's A4 for a reason you priiii…" he trailed off as he glanced to Noodle. "You pringle." He settled on.
"It's about, like, not having access to the things that make you happy in life. The things that make you safe."
"It's not going on the album."
"Ok! That's all you had to say."
Murdoc jabbed a long finger in his direction. "Oh, trust me, I wish that was all I needed to say. But if I left it there, you'd just come back tomorrow with some other nonsensical drivel. Bring me something like that again and this won't be paper, it'll be metal! With spikes in it! Now do what you're paid for!"
"I will!"
Murdoc held the papers high to swing them one more time for good measure, causing 2D to cover himself once more.
A brief look of pleasure on Murdoc's face gave way to one of disdain.
"Pathetic."
Instead of hitting, Murdoc threw the papers at 2D, littering them around him. He turned and addressed Noodle.
"You're spending too much time with him. One chirpy braindead goon is more than enough for one band, not having you turn out like him. I'll have to chat with Russ about that."
"Nokotte issho ni bēsugitā o hiite kureru?" She suggested.
Murdoc sighed and shrugged at her.
"Think she wants you to stay." 2D mumbled.
"How in the blue hell have you had time to learn—"
"I haven't. Dunno what she's saying. But when her tone starts high like that, then goes down and comes back up, she's usually asking you to hang out or play or whatever."
Murdoc smirked. It was good for the ego to hear his company was preferred to 2D's.
"Sorry girlie, some of us have a band to get off the ground. Now be a dear and try to keep our sweet, silly man on topic." He gave her a little salute and practically skipped through the door, closing it behind him.
A shuffling of papers took Noodle's attention from the door and she quickly stood to help gather them up around 2D.
"Toochi, daisukida yo! Anata wa totemo omoshiroi!" She shouted, making little grunts of effort as she picked up each piece. She looked around to double check that all had been retrieved, then handed her share to him.
"Cheers, Noods," He said as he took them from her. "Murdoc's pretty stressed at the moment, so don't worry when he's like that, just one of his moods. But he's nicer than people think. That's on purpose from him. One day, when Russ has taught you some English, I'll tell you about how he saved my life. I always think about that when he's all grumpy like. Russ doesn't see it that way, thinks I'm stupid for thinking of it like that. I reckon you'll understand."
Noodle blinked at him. Then 2D smiled, which was enough for her to smile too. He played a silly high-pitched jingle on the keyboard and pointed at her guitar.
"Where were we?"
They drove quickly and quietly. There wasn't anything more to say. 2D kept his eyes locked at the passenger window, shrunk down in his chair with his long arms folded over each elbow.
Noodle glanced over at him every so often, both to check he was still there and to see if his expression would change. He was, and it hadn't. Now so more than ever, she didn't want her time with 2D ending prematurely. Not when there was something important he had to see.
The traffic lightened as she pulled onto the M23 and picked up the pace further. She noticed him tense and sit up. He'd taken this route before, many times. Noodle had thought about it recently, on occasion. It had been half suggested by Russel once or twice, in a non-committal enough way to make her declination easy. She should've gone many times by now. That's what a real friend would've done. But the reason she hadn't was the same reason she couldn't appear in the video announcing his death. The same reason she couldn't make any sort of public statement or appearance. The same reason he was sitting next to her right now.
"Where we're going…" He said with unease, "Have I been there before?"
"You're there now."
At some point the motorway had transformed into country lanes, the trees overhead providing the new backdrop against the overcast sky. Kindly elderly people greeted with confused waves as she drove past them, clearly not used to unfamiliars.
Noodle pulled into a lane through a small gate, beautiful flowers framing it welcomingly. The clearing at the end left enough space for half a dozen cars. Luckily, today theirs was the only one.
Past the clearing was a long but gentle knoll, where a small tree sat alone at the top. The knoll flattened out every so often, where people had been laid to rest, gravestones marking the spot of each one.
Noodle switched the Geep off and turned to 2D, searching for some admission in his face, if he didn't want to admit anything with words. He stared at the knoll, a shifting Adams apple betraying a fear. That was fair, she'd be scared too, in the existential sort of way.
"Come on." Noodle said, and hopped out of the car, 2D following suit with much heavier feet. "You start looking, I'll follow you up there."
"Can't we just…"
He trailed off as Noodle glared. Nodding solemnly, he turned and started up the hill, hands tucking into his pockets. Once she was sure he wasn't going to turn back and ask something else, she went to the boot and popped it open, finding what she had retrieved before they left.
She took the shovel out and took off up the hill after 2D.
The graveyard was sparse enough that families were able to pick and choose the plot, meaning there was no chronological order to work with. Noodle checked the ones it looked like 2D was missing, paying quick customary respects to the names she noticed.
It wasn't real, she still had to remind herself. Nothing that she was doing was counting to anything. This was for him. She would wake up eventually, and the next time she saw him they'd both have no choice to accept there was no going back. If he came back at all.
She noticed he'd been standing at one for a while. Not a gravestone, a wooden cross put there temporarily before the stone could be crafted. That was promising.
"Found it?" She called to him. He had to have known what he was looking for by now.
No response. She sighed irritably and jogged up the hill and over to where he was standing.
She saw his face first. A look of horror'd anguish, a deep gut-sucking pain that seemed to stop the Earth still. It wasn't unlike the face she made when she found out either, she presumed.
As she approached, he began choking out small sobs as he looked at the cross. His legs gave out and he dropped to his knees.
The exhaustion and anger that was fueling her threatened to wash away, replaced with a long-familiar instinct to protect and comfort. To put on a movie he'd seen a million times until his moans were replaced by snores. To yell at Murdoc when he didn't have the energy or courage. To hug him even when he said he didn't need one. It was an instinct she missed endlessly, almost as much as she missed her usual recipient.
Just this one time of hurting him, and then it'd be over, she thought, willing herself to be strong.
"I know it's hard to look at, D." She said as he approached his side, "But this is what I've been talking about. This is what's…"
She stopped as she looked at the plaque on the cross, reading it with him.
Noodle dropped the shovel, almost fell to her knees as well.
It didn't read Stuart Pot.
Here lies
David Tusspot
Born 17th of March 1947
Died 9th August 2019
Age 72
Also
Rachel Tusspot
Born 21st of October 1951
Died 13th August 2019
Age 68
'While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is about'
"Toochi…"
It didn't feel like it wanted to be looked at. They were likely the first that had. It had been here only a matter of days.
2D whimpered, swaying on his knees. He held out a hand feebly for the cross but his knees remained rooted.
He tried to lean towards it, and his lack of balance threatened to send him into the dirt. Noodle dove and caught him before he could, clutching his frail frame as he shook silently, arms still outstretched.
"This wasn't… I wasn't…" She started.
She'd seen him cry more than most. When he did, it was quiet and restrained, almost embarrassed. Like there was still a part of him that felt he shouldn't be.
He showed no such restraint as he let out a wail that covered the knoll like a mist, sobs and chokes and coughs clogging up his throat as all three competed to come out at once.
Noodle held on tighter, screwing her eyes shut to subdue her own tears. She refused to let those be her priority this time.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered, stroking his hair with her hand. "I'm so sorry Toochi."
His hand gave up reaching and instead clutched her jacket desperately, sobbing into her arm.
"I know." Noodle cooed. She allowed his body to fall back into a sitting position where she could shift herself to support his back more easily. "I know."
This migraine was a bad one.
The band had taken a few days off from recording to help get Noodle settled, buying essentials along with some bells and whistles that a small child might find comforting. It had been more beneficial than they realised, with relations still shaky after the incident with Paula just a couple weeks earlier. Even Murdoc could agree on some level that Noodle needed acclimatising before being thrust into the studio, and so he and Russel were in agreement about getting it done as quick as possible, albeit for different reasons.
With little interest in furnishings and home comforts - his room was a testament to that - 2D had chosen to entertain Noodle in the various shops they stopped at, though he believed he was succeeding more at entertaining himself. He would regularly pick out furniture or items of clothing, ask her what she thought of them, listen to a long diatribe he couldn't understand a word of, yet respond as if he had, agreeing or disagreeing dramatically, or telling her not to listen to Helen at the salon, this colour was going to be everywhere come the new millennium.
She seemed neither offended nor amused by his antics, so he assumed she just thought he understood her. Though a funnier thought in his head was that she was doing the exact same thing back to him, the conversation topics getting more and more absurd until she was talking about aliens while he was talking about Skegness, or something.
2D had felt the migraine coming on the car ride home from Woolworths and, without his pills, it intensified quickly. He pretended to be asleep in the backseat to curb Noodle's worry, a lie corroborated by Russel and Murdoc, Murdoc in particular taking it a little far by turning in the passenger seat to draw obscenities on 2D's face to prove how asleep he was, much to Noodle's delight.
Once back, 2D had claimed more honestly that he needed to rest and retreated to his room, Russel following not long after with some pills he retrieved from the kitchen cupboard. He reassured 2D that Noodle seemed little the wiser, though she might now think of him as the sleepy one from here on. 2D accepted that.
The pills hadn't helped. Neither had water, darkness or throwing up. Which left him with his head buried in a pillow, the sun long since descended, a long and miserable night ahead of him.
"Toochi?"
He dragged his face from the pillow to find his new little friend a couple feet into the doorway. The faintest glow from the hallway light painted her in silhouette, but 2D could tell form her stiffness, as well as her tone, that she was worried.
Must have woke her up from all the groaning, he thought.
"I'm alright Noodle, just have bad nights sometimes" He said with a thumbs up, relying on the thumbs up to communicate most of the message.
She didn't move. 2D heard a faint whimper.
Bracing himself for his head to scream at him, he sat up and turned the bedside lamp on.
She looked like she'd been crying for a while. The Pikachu that adorned the shirt of her new pyjamas had failed at protecting her. She fiddled with its sleeve as she looked at him. She was scared, the most scared she'd been since she arrived.
He shuffled closer to her. "What's the matter, love?"
Noodle knew she had to be clear. She pointed behind her. Then pointed at her head, her hand trembling.
2D narrowed an eye as he made as good an assumption as he could. "Bad dream?"
He mimicked sleeping while he jabbed his fingers into his head, making quiet screeching sounds as he did. When he opened his eyes, Noodle was nodding frantically.
"Bad dream." Noodle imitated.
Slightly proud that his charade communicated effectively, 2D swung his legs out of bed, a heavy, aching dizziness protesting in his head.
"I don't think I'm sleeping neither. Come on," He made an 'oop' sound as he picked her up, steadying himself on his desk until the head-rush subsided "let's go put something on."
He could feel his brain pulsing as he searched the cabinet for a suitable movie. The inside of his cheeks beginning to moisten and he hummed quietly to distract and trick his body into forgetting about throwing up again.
His head made contact with the glass of the TV. It was cold and supportive and wonderful.
"Blimey." He sighed to himself.
2D snapped out of it when he heard a small sneeze behind him.
"Bless you's."
Noodle was sat in the same spot he had placed her in the middle of the sofa, her legs kicking anxiously. He'd turned the big floor lamp on which lit up most of the living room, which he hoped would be enough comfort. Just the thought of overhead lights agonised his head and turned his stomach.
2D found one of the videos they'd yet to switch over to DVD. Night of the Living Dead. The ideal first zombie film, he had mentioned on more than one occasion. Even more so in this context. Dumb, slow zombies that most people with a brain could escape from, quiet with not many camera cuts, simple story to follow if you didn't know the language. Just what they both needed.
He popped it in and pressed play. It hadn't been fully rewound all the way, so when 2D turned the TV on they were already at the graveyard.
""S'alright, you only missed them driving." 2D mumbled as he hobbled over to a basket to retrieve a blanket.
His head rattled in irritation as he collapsed clumsily on the sofa next to Noodle, throwing most of the blanket over her as she immediately scootched closer, settling under his arm.
"So the guy that made this, George Romero, this is his first zombie movie, he's been doing it for like, 40 years." He explained to her. "He basically invented the genre. Well, sort of, he didn't if you wanna get particular about it, but he was the one which made it popular and that. The sad thing is, he forgot to put any sort of copyright in it saying it was his, so he ended up making like no money from it. Poor bloke, one of the most important films ever and you're still skint from it. Sorry if my talking's annoying, it's just I've seen this a thousand times."
He looked down at her. She seemed transfixed on the screen. After a beat, she looked at him and smiled warmly.
"Arigatō, o nīchan. Ohanashi suru no ga sukida yo."
Arigatō, he knew that one from the song. He grinned back, not noticing his head's agony for the first time.
"That's alright, love. Form now on when there's a bad dream, tell me, we'll watch something, yeah?"
He wasn't sure how much got through, but she nodded all the same. She grabbed a cushion from behind her and put it against his leg, before shuffling to a lying position, facing the TV.
Johnny had just got killed, and 2D tensed, worried that the fear would start all over again. To his relief, Noodle giggled.
"Those two are brother and sister, and it was really different at the time to off the bloke so quick and have it actually be about the bird, especially a movie trying to be worldwide successful. She ends up being kinda annoying in the end, but still, take what you can get, eh?"
"Mmmm." She responded, somehow giving back more than those who did understand him when he went off on zombie trivia. He scratched her head appreciatively.
"We'll find out why you're here, little love. 'Till then, I'll protect you. Bad dreams ain't no fun, but I'll be here for all of 'em. 'Till you wake up, and a long long time after that. I'll be here. You'll understand that. Even if you don't right now."
Here Lies
Stuart Harold Pot
Born 23rd May 1978
Died 14th July 2019
Loved By All, Known By Few
It was a simple gravestone, not one expected for a celebrity, which explained why it was one of the very last ones Noodle went to check. Fans even might've walked past it without giving it a second look. David and Rachel would've loved it. Several empty bottles surrounded the gravestone. Noodle picked one up. Wood's rum, Murdoc's everyday, non-celebratory rum of choice. One of the bottles had been stood up, and a handful of Moon Daisy's found further down the knoll had been inserted.
A slight orange glow twinged the clouds, telling Noodle it was approaching late afternoon. She'd held 2D for a long time, swapping between whispering reassurances and resting her head against his when talking became too much. He'd been quiet for a while before he finally indicated he wanted to be released, Noodle deeming him stable enough to do so. There were a hundred questions he wanted to ask, Noodle knew that based on the confusion that accompanied the agony on his face.
She had to protect him. She had to prove that he wasn't real. Because if he wasn't, maybe their deaths weren't either.
The ground was still soft, which made digging easier. Her heart screamed at her to stop, and she screamed back as she dug. Neighbouring graves found themselves with more soil, Noodle's teeth gritted as she searched for him.
"Noodle?" 2D called from afar.
Thud.
Quicker than she expected, her shovel connected with wood about 2 feet down. Her heart pounded in a panic as she rushed to clear the soil from the rest of the coffin.
"What are you doing?" 2D croaked. He was walking to her, legs wobbling.
The last of the soil removed, Noodle turned to him.
"I'm sorry, Toochi. I'm doing this for you." She sniffed and wiped her eyes, summoning her composure. "Inside here is you. This is what really happened to you. I haven't been messing with you, or delusional. Read the gravestone."
He obeyed, his face screwing up more by the second.
"Doesn't make no sense…" He mumbled.
"But it does, please see that. I need you to see that."
She hopped out of the grave and took his hands in hers.
"I've been making up these hands. This face. All the sweet, funny, irritating things you've said. I'm making up you not believing me right now. Because nearly 2 months ago, you were hit by a car and killed. Because of me." Her composure was slipping fast. "I killed you. Oh god, I killed you."
It was her turn to need support as 2D pulled her into his arms, weeping into his chest as she did the first time he appeared to her.
"I killed you. My Toochi. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
His heartbeat was fast, but his body defied it as he gently stroked her hair, flattening part of it to kiss the top of her head.
"You would never kill me, little love. I don't think you could hurt me, even if you wanted to."
His words softened her entirely and she longed for nothing more than to stay in this moment forever, to surrender all reality and exist only in the ether they were lost in together. Two souls that could've had better, that deserved better, than what they were given. But in the world where they had what they were given, each other was the best they had. He was the do's and do not's, the third wheel to the angel and devil on her shoulder, the person she'd jump for and the person she'd catch. He was the beauty, the sleaze, the laughter, the pain, the thrill, the calm, the beginning and the end. He was the real world.
He was her world.
Which meant whatever this was now, was more real than anything else.
"You can do it."
She pulled away from him, not quite certain she had heard him correctly.
"I…" She coughed.
"Be strong, Noodle. Save yourself. You're so close. I can see it."
She looked at the coffin, the shovel lying next to it. She turned back to him, lip quivering.
"I'm so scared, Toochi. I don't know what's going to happen."
He gripped her arms and smiled proudly.
"I'm here. I've always been here. Wake up."
Noodle took a deep breath and stepped away from him.
"Promise you'll stay?"
He nodded. "No matter what."
She nodded back and jumped back into the grave, taking the shovel in her hand.
One final time, she checked behind her. 2D had moved a little closer behind her. He gave a thumbs up and a wink.
Raising it high, she brought the corner of the shovel down to where 2D's head would be. It left a small scuff but nothing more. With a yell, Noodle brought the shovel down a second time. The wood splintered slightly and they heard a faint rumble.
"Come on…" They said simultaneously.
The shovel connected a third time.
Where Noodle expected to hear a crack, she instead heard a sharp ringing above a menacing boom. Where she expected to see the remains of her best friend's face, she instead saw sky, with bright pink and purple lights shooting up to occupy it.
A sharp pain shot through the back of her head and it was only then she realised she was moving. Fast. Like an explosion had sent her hurling backwards. As she began to drop, she felt her arm brush against a figure. That shooting pain in her head. It had been from when it connected with 2D's.
The landed in a heap on the grass. Noodle sat up first, eyes on 2D's grave without hesitation.
Pink and purple plumes of energy soared out of the coffin, dancing through the sky until they corrupted the clouds, shrouding the knoll into darkness as if the universe itself had dimmed the lights in an instant. In the distance, the faint sounds of car alarms and screams made themselves known among the tinnitus.
Unable to stand, Noodle crawled towards the coffin, shielding herself from loose strobes of light that neared her, none paying her close attention.
She peered into the coffin and gasped in horror.
An abyss of bellowing lights and sounds, fighting to escape through the small hole Noodle had created. Through the millions of ghostly figures, Noodle could see only pure black, an endless deep sea to be trapped in for eternity.
If it was hell, Noodle had never truly been in the first place.
She looked back to 2D, who was still on the ground, unmoving.
"D.." She thought she might have said as she crawled over to him, her own voice too quiet to make out amongst the ringing. "D.."
She arrived at his side. His temple was dented and he was twitching.
"Wake up, D. There's another place." She shook him gently. Then harder when he didn't respond. "You aren't where you should be. There's some sort of portal where you should be. I think… I think I need to take you there. Please wake up."
As the ringing began to wear off, the screaming became louder. Millions of voices all at once, pain and anger and fear encompassing the world.
"We have to go, Toochi. Please."
He gurgled.
"No. Come on, not when we're so close."
She pulled him up into a sitting position and hooked her arms around his chest, dragging him from behind in the coffin's direction.
"I got you. We're gonna be ok. You're going to rest."
Every attempt to stand to make dragging easier lasted only seconds, before she would slip and send them both to the ground.
The screams were deafening by the time they reached the coffin, where Noodle sat him on the edge.
"I think this is it, ok?" She told his unresponsive face, having to yell over the horror above and below. "All the confusion, all the pain, it was for this. I don't know why now, but I think you're going to pass on in here. And then I'll wake up, and the new normal will start. Without you. Ok?"
His eyes fluttered slightly. Noodle let out a sob.
"OK?!"
"Noodle?" 2D slurred, eyes and mind a million miles away. "Y'alright, love? Had a bad dream again?"
She coughed out another cry. "You're on our own from here on, D. We both are. You can finally do whatever dead people are meant to do."
"I don't do nothing." He mumbled dizzily. She let out a laugh and hugged him tightly. She caught another view of inside the coffin, the energy sources glowing and fading as if they were breathing beings. They weaved in and amongst each other. She noticed some were closely following others, one leading another until the positions switched, seemingly at random.
"S'alright, Noods," He said as he patted her back clumsily. "I'll protect you."
She should've let go by now. Her eyes should've left the inside of the coffin by now. But it was her choice, at long last. And she chose to hold on tighter than she ever had before. She chose to ready herself.
She kissed his cheek. "I know you will, love."
She leaned forward and shut her eyes as they fell in together.