A/N: Fair warning, this part of the story might be a bit slow, but I promise things will pick up soon.

Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 19- And Now For Somewhere Completely Different, Part 2

*At the doctor's office...*

"So how is she, doctor?" Darren inquired.

"For someone who fell out of the sky, remarkably well," the aged physician replied. "The x-ray showed no broken or fractured bones."

"Did you check for bumps on her head?"

"Oh, she had quite a few, actually," the doctor nodded. "She did say this wasn't the first time something like this had happened..."

Darren just nodded. "Yeah, might explain her gobbledygook about being a goddess from another dimension inside some arcade video game..."

"Well, I'm an M.D., not a psychiatrist," the doctor began, "but other than that, she seemed perfectly lucid. At worst, it's probably delusion brought on by head trauma and temporary amnesia..."

"Hey, I can hear you, ya know!" Neptune called as she emerged from the examination room, adjusting her parka dress. "I mean, I did suffer memory loss the very first time that happened, but not this time, 'kay?"

Darren just sighed and shook his head. "Look, Miss Neptune... my mother isn't one to suffer fools gladly. If we're going to meet her, you should try telling her something at least somewhat more believable, please."

"Oh, fine..." Neptune sighed. "I'll say that I'm a ruler of a distant far away land that got teleported here by accident. Would that work?"

"Well, it's slightly more plausible than what you've been saying," the doctor stated, he and Darren sharing a knowing look. Just play along with her for now.

"Right, well, let's get moving then! The sooner I meet the d- uh, your mother, the sooner I can get home!"

*And so...*

Darren's car pulled up to what appeared to be a small stone castle, albeit with much wooden infrastructure built up on all sides. "Wow, everything I've seen so far looked about early-to-mid 20th century, but this looks like it came from the 18th or 19th!" Neptune said as she, Darren and Corey got out.

"Well, Mother has lived here for over a century, so it's not much of a surprise," Darren said. "Just hope Damien isn't around..."

"Damien?"

"My older brother. He thinks I should've taken the path of the warrior like the rest of my siblings," Darren elaborated. "Mother always said it was my choice once I came of age, though..."

"Well, good for her!" Neptune smiled, while Corey remained silent, slight conflict etched on his face.

Soon the three of them approached the gate to the building proper... "Halt!" called the uniformed guard. "State your name and business with Lady Cobblemeyer!"

"...Good thing I brought my ID," Darren sighed as he pulled out his wallet, handing a card over.

"Let's see... wha- Darren Cobblemeyer Jr?!" The guard looked up as if he had seen a ghost. "I-I'm so sorry for the trouble! Please, go on in!" He promptly opened the gate and stepped aside.

"Wait, I thought you said you name was Meyers, not Cobble-meyer!" Neptune pointed out.

Darren just heaved a sigh as he took back his ID, he and the others stepping through the gate. "...If you must know, when I hit 65 years of age at my first job, I was forced into retirement due to company regulations. So I moved and changed my identity so I'd be able to get another job..."

"So how old are you?" Neptune inquired next.

"He just turned 100, if you can believe it," Corey answered in his father's stead. "Our dragon blood doesn't just make us tougher, it also extends our life span. I mean, look at me, you probably think I'm a teenager, but I'm actually 30!"

"Oh, I believe it," Neptune nodded. "I mean, Nep Jr. and I still look like spry teenagers ourselves, even though we're into 'withered old ladies' territory in actual years."

"Because you're goddesses?" Darren snarked.

"Ex-actly! And the goddesses- er, CPUs of the other nations are even older than us, though you couldn't tell by looking at them!" Neptune said with a smile as they approached the door...

*BZZ-ZAAAPP!* "Yeow!" Neptune cried as she was repulsed by a strong shock! "What the nep was that?!"

"Oh, right. Magic barrier that Mother put up to keep out intruders," Darren sighed.

"Oh, I thought I felt something too," Corey realized. "I guess it zaps anybody without dragon blood?"

"Something like that. Here, take my hand," Darren offered. "That should stop the barrier from zapping you again."

"Um, okay," Neptune grunted, grasping the offered hand, gritting her teeth as Darren walked her through... There was still a shock, but it felt more like static electricity this time. "Phew, it worked. Okay, let's head inside!"

"Right," Darren nodded, opening the door to the residence proper, ushering Neptune and Corey inside... immediately, however, something stinky hit their nostrils, the two grunting in disgust as they covered their noses!

"Ugh! Don't tell me your mother's a smoker!" Neptune protested.

"Not to my knowledge," Darren replied, looking a bit uncomfortable himself. "Oh, it might be Rosette, though..."

"Rosette? You mean my cousin that Grandma took in after her mom and dad died in a car crash?" Corey asked. "You went to the funeral, right?"

"Yeah... so Rosette would be 24 now," Darren concluded.

Following the smell, the trio eventually encountered a tall, young woman with red eyes and auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail, wearing a black off-shoulder dress that showed off her ample bosom, a lit cigarette in her right hand. "Like, who are you and where did you come from?" said woman asked disdainfully.

"Rosette, I'm your Uncle Darren," the office worker introduced himself. "And this here is your cousin Corey."

"Whoa! Uncle Darren Jr?! Like seriously?" Rosette gasped, taking a short pull from her cancer stick, blowing some smoke. "And my cousin?! Well, aren't you a total cutie! Too bad we're related, or I'd ask you out..."

"Um, yeah, I don't date smokers anyway," Corey grunted, still holding his nose.

"Wow, like, rude much?" Rosette shot back with mild scorn.

"Rosette, is your grandmother home?" Darren cut to the chase.

"Nanna? Yeah, she's home," Rosette nodded. "I can take you right to her."

"Well, can you put out that stinky thing first?!" Neptune requested, covering her nose and mouth with her parka dress.

"I second that!" Corey nodded.

"You heard them, Rosette," Darren gave a curt nod.

"Ugh! Oh, fine, there's an ashtray in the next room. Sheesh..." Rosette turned on her heel and walked off, the others following at a distance...

*Family Room*

"Hello, Nanna?" Rosette gently knocked at the door, Darren and the others behind her. "You in there?"

"I hope you're not going to try and ask me for money to buy cigarettes," a rough female voice spoke up from inside.

"Wh- no! Nanna, Uncle Darren Jr. is here to see you!" Rosette insisted.

"Junior?!" There was the sound of someone getting up from a chair, the door soon opening to reveal a woman only an inch or two shorter than Rosette, with dark hair slightly shorter than shoulder length, piercing green eyes, a sharp nose and thin lips, wearing a modest but expensive looking brown dress. "Junior...! Well, this is a surprise! Oh, and is this who I think it is?!"

"H-hi, Grandma," Corey waved nervously.

"Oh, little Corey! I've only seen a picture of you when you were six... look at you, all grown up!" She promptly enveloped the blonde boy in a loving embrace, Corey awkwardly returning the hug.

"Huh... not what I was expecting," Neptune spoke up. "You'd think a half-dragon would look more... dragon-like. Or is this just a disguise?"

"She does use magic to make her eyes look human," Darren stated.

"Hmm? Oh, who's this young lady?" Lady Cobblemeyer finally took notice of Neptune, pulling away from her grandson. "Is she your girlfriend, Corey?"

"Um, no, but she is the reason we're here," Corey ducked his head. "She fell out of the sky when we were out in the park, right on top of Dad..."

"I'm Neptune!" the goddess introduced herself. "I know I don't look like it, but I'm the ruler of a nation from a way-far-away land. But, an accident with an invention of my sister's ended up sending me here. I was kinda hoping you might know some way for me to get back home..."

"Oh, I see..." the dragon woman nodded slowly. "Well, for now, come on in. If my son trusts you enough to bring you here, then so do I." She stepped aside, allowing the others to enter the room... While the lighting was somewhat dim, it looked quite cozy, with a fire place at one end, a few couches lining the walls, and some easy chairs and beanbag in the center. Several pictures adorned the walls, mostly in black-and-white, with a much larger picture hanging above the fireplace itself, showing two people standing together, with nine others kneeling in front of them.

"Wow, this brings back memories..." Darren said as he looked about. "It hasn't changed a bit..."

"Wow... are all these pictures of the family?" Corey asked.

"That's right," Lady Cobblemeyer nodded. "And up there is me with my beloved husband Darren and all my children. Well, except Darren Jr, he hadn't been born yet."

"I wasn't born until after Father died," Darren Jr. elaborated. "Mother sometimes called me his 'going-away' present..."

"We always knew I would outlive him," Lady Cobblemeyer nodded sadly, "but at least I have my children to carry on his legacy. Honestly, I'm fortunate that he lived as long as he did... most humans only live 60-70 years, but he made it to 99."

"He does look pretty old compared to you in that photo," Neptune observed.

"I've, like, only met Uncle Roland, Uncle Damien and Aunt Collei myself," Rosette spoke up. "I was, like, told all the others went out into the world to make their own way in life..."

"Yeah, you should hear some of the tales my brothers told me at your mother's funeral," Darren nodded. "That was the first time we'd all been together since Father died, or so Mother said."

"Well, anyway," Neptune cut in, "let's get down to business. I was hoping you'd have some way for me to get back home, Lady Cobble- Cobbuh- bleh! Sorry, but is there somethin' else I can call you, that doesn't twist my tongue?"

"You can call me Lady Laura, if you wish," the matriarch responded. "And, with all due respect, you don't really look much like a ruler of a nation to me, Miss Neptune..."

"Well, she literally fell outta the sky on top of Dad," Corey said. "And we took her to the doctor first to make sure nothing was broken..."

"Are you sure she didn't hit her head?" Laura asked pointedly.

"I think my chin hit his chest first," Neptune recalled.

"Yeah, and then that weird phone of hers bounced off her head," Corey appended.

"Phone?" Laura raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, this thing," Neptune pulled out the device in question. "If it wasn't busted, I could call home and have Nep Jr. and Histy back me up... I suppose you don't know anything about fixing phones?"

"I'm not very good with technology," Laura shrugged. "That being said... how long has it been since you fell out of the sky?"

"Um..." Darren checked his watch. "Almost two hours. Why do you ask, Mother?"

"Remember when you and Damien knocked that vase over during one of your (ahem) wrestling matches?" Laura said with a smile.

"Oh yeah... I thought you'd be really mad," Darren ducked his head. "But you just waved your hand and it pulled itself back together like nothing happened!"

"Oh, you used magic to turn back time! Rad!" Neptune realized. "So can you do the same with this thing?"

"Yes, but I can only go back a few hours, and only for inanimate objects," Laura explained. "So, let me see that..." Neptune handed the phone over, the matriarch muttering something unintelligible under breath as she waved her hand over it... the phone was covered in sparkles, and after about ten seconds, the cracked glass healed shut! "Ah, there. Here, it should work now."

"Whoo-hoo! You're a lifesaver, Lady Laura!" Neptune exclaimed giddily, taking the phone back. "Okay, let's see... oh good, Nep Jr's number's already in here. Hope this works..." She pressed a button, 'Connecting...' popping up on the screen... then a ring tone sounded from the phone. A few seconds later...

"Hello?" Nepgear's voice was heard.

"Nep Jr! Oh man, am I glad to hear your voice!" Neptune exclaimed happily.

"Oh, are you testing your new phone?"

"You could say that... actually, when I went to use the microwave, I made sure to keep the phone away, but the moment I touched it afterwards, I got zapped to this new dimension with a clan descended from dragons!"

"What?!" Nepgear gasped. "Oh no... I knew I shouldn't have asked MAGES. to help me with building that..."

"MAGES.? Well, that explains a few things," Neptune sighed. Turning back to the others, she explained, "MAGES. is like a mad scientist/magician who's obsessed with trying to find ways to transport to other worlds and stuff..."

"I'm sorry! I remember her saying some stuff once the phone was finished, but I was too excited to listen...!" Nepgear lamented.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. At least I didn't end up in some world where the goddesses are evil and do really bad stuff to their people and whatnot. So chill! Oh yeah, probably should introduce yourself to everyone here..."

"Oh, there's people with you? Um, hello! I'm Nepgear, CPU Candidate of Planeptune and Neptune's younger sister! I hope she hasn't been too much trouble for you..."

"Other than falling on me, not really," Darren sighed.

"So you're from another world? Like, aliens?! Totally rad!" Rosette exclaimed. "That explains your sick hair color! Like, I'm Rosette, granddaughter of Lady Laura of the Cobblemeyer Clan! Nice to meet you!"

The others proceeded to introduce themselves as well. Once that was done, Laura asked, "So what did you mean when you called yourself a 'CPU Candidate'?"

"Oh, didn't Neptune explain that to you?" Nepgear pondered.

"She did, but..." Darren sighed. "It sounded like a bunch of nonsensical gobbedygook. That's why I insisted on taking her to the doctor first..."

"Yeah, like, that's what happens when you're all, like, straight-laced and boring!" Rosette said with disdain. "You totally need to expand your thinking, Uncle Darren! Of course aliens would be, like, totally different from us!"

"That will be enough, Rosette," Laura gently chastised.

"Uh, listen, Nep Jr, why don't you hang up for now and go get Histy, and tell her what happened?" Neptune suggested. "I'll try and explain stuff to everyone here, and then we'll get back in contact and try to figure out a way to get me home?"

"All right... Just don't do anything reckless, okay?" Nepgear said.

"Well, things seem pretty peaceful here, so I doubt anything's gonna happen... ugh, I hope I didn't jinx things by saying that," Neptune sweat-dropped. "That sort of phrase totally trips an event flag back home..."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Nepgear assured her. "Okay, I better go get Histoire. Bye for now, Neptune. Love you!"

"Love you too!" Neptune said back before hanging up.

*Planeptune Basilicom*

"Oh, hello Nepgear," Histoire greeted. "Have you seen Neptune anywhere? I fear she's slacking in her duties again..."

"Um, well, that's the thing, see..." Nepgear stammered, averting her gaze. "You know that new phone I made for Neptune, that can call across dimensions?"

"Let me guess, it ended up sending Neptune to another world again?" Histoire sighed.

"It's my fault!" Nepgear blurted out. "I had MAGES. help me make it, and then she told me some stuff, but I didn't listen to her...!"

"Please calm down," Histoire chastised, even as she rubbed her temples. "It seems our first order of business would be to locate MAGES. and inform her of what happened..."

"Right! Well, she's still doing community service after what she pulled with Ho-Hum, so it shouldn't be too hard to find her!" Nepgear pumped her fists with a determined expression. "I'll go right now and bring her back!" With that, she dashed out of the room...

*To be continued...*