Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets
by Derald Snyder
Snippet 55- The Kaiser Rises Again
"So you got a Game Over too, huh Mouse?" Bubi taunted as he patched up the smaller demon.
"Shut the fuck up!" Ironmouse coughed. "At least I KO'ed Vert, which is better than YOU did!"
"Well, I wasn't expecting that white one to be so strong!" Bubi shot back. "She's almost on the level of a goddess herself...!"
"Yeah, and the red one's the leader, no fucking surprise," Mouse rolled her eyes.
"Well, look on the bright side," Bubi pointed out, "those fucking Rangers still have no fucking clue what we've been working on in secret..."
"You mean what I'VE been fucking working on!" Ironmouse retorted, before coughing blood again. "Ahh, fuck this pain...! Where the fuck're my meds at...?!"
"I'll get 'em for you," Bubi sighed. "You just take it easy, I'll put the finishing touches on our pet project, all right?"
"Yeah, well you better not fuck it up!" Mouse warned...
*Meanwhile, at Leanbox City General Hospital...*
"How is she, doctor?" Chika asked frettingly, Peach and the other Rangers standing with her, unmorphed.
"She's got a concussion," the NPC doctor shook his head. "She'll recover eventually, but we're going to keep her overnight for observation. Lady Vert has yet to regain consciousness, so there's no point in trying to visit now..."
"Well, thanks anyway," Peashy nodded. "We'll hold down the Basilicom until she gets back on her feet..."
"Yes, well, I would advise that you all take it easy as well," the doctor cautioned. "Especially you, Miss Hakozaki, given the first-degree burn on your back."
"Right..." Chika sighed, wincing in discomfort. "Peach, do you think you could help me apply the burn cream to my back later?"
"I guess..." Peach shrugged. "But don't blame me if I rub too hard... maybe Adrian should do it instead."
"Oh, really, Peach? You want me to rub the back of a sexy woman who isn't you?" her fiancee ribbed.
"Um- uh- I mean..." Peashy's face went beet-red. "Uh- never mind, I'll do it." She looked back at Nisa and A-Mac, who were desperately trying not to burst out laughing... "I'll make you both drop and give me twenty, don't think I won't!"
"S-s-sorry!" Nisa gasped out. "W-we'll be going, then... pffft-!"
"Later, sis!" A-Mac managed to gasp out as he and Nisa hurried through the nearby double doors... once they closed however, two peals of raucous laughter could be heard...
"...You're gonna answer for that one, Adrian," Peach turned her glare to her beloved.
"I can take it," he replied with no sarcasm.
*The next day, at the police precinct...*
"Thanks for coming down, Rangers," the NPC detective greeted Adrian, Nisa and A-Mac. "Ah, where's Sergeant Macintosh and Oracle Hakozaki?"
"Chika's visiting Vert at the hospital," Adrian replied, "and Peashy's holding down the fort at the Basilicom just in case. So what have you got?"
"Well, looking back over all the racket that Steel Feline and Ironmouse caused, a lot of it didn't seem to make any sense... here, let me show you." He went over to his desk, calling up a holo-screen which displayed a map of Leanbox City. "So, here's the nature park where the first attack occurred, and here's the warehouse where all the Cinnamorolls were stored. And here, of course is the army base. Notice anything?"
"They don't seem related at all," A-Mac spoke up. "I mean, wasn't the attack on the army base revenge for the raid on the warehouse, anyway?"
"Right, but the question is, why would they attack anyplace with plush dolls to begin with? And that's when it hit me- these attacks were meant as a diversion, to draw our attention away from something else!"
"But what would they be diverting us from, is the question?" Nisa asked.
"Exactly. We surmised that it must have been something big or hard to hide normally," the detective elaborated. "So, we checked for any significant locations that were far away from these attacks... and the furthest point away without leaving the city limits, is this!" He pointed to a spot in the northeast.
"Wait, isn't that the junkyard?" A-Mac realized.
"Right! So, what would these demons be working on at the junkyard? Perhaps some big piece of machinery that would be very hard to work on discreetly... unless all the authorities' attention was directed elsewhere!"
"...That's it!" Nisa suddenly shouted, causing A-Mac to jump a half-foot into the air. "A giant robot, one that was originally made by demons! The Laharl Kaiser V! That has to be it!"
"Son of a..." Adrian said in disbelief. "That's right, the robot's parts were hauled off to the junkyard after we blew out the main reactor with Nepgeardam 2.0!"
"But, if the reactor was blown up, wouldn't that make it worthless?" A-Mac pointed out.
"Unless they have some way of replacing the power source..." Adrian mused with a hand to his chin. "Nicole, you know more about demons than any of us, you have any ideas on how they could do that?"
"Um..." Nisa scratched her head in thought. "Well, I guess they could try to empower it with their own mana, but they'd need a lot of it to make something that big move..."
"Wait, if I remember, doesn't Ironmouse wear that cat's bell to restrain her power?" A-Mac realized. "If she has to do that, then that means she's got more than enough power to get that thing moving! Right?"
"You may be onto something there, Arthur," Adrian said grimly. "Still, we can't just have the Army charge in like they did at the warehouse, because they might have another trap waiting just in case..."
"But we could use the teleporter to warp directly there and catch them off-guard!" Nisa suggested.
"All right, let's get back to the Basilicom," Adrian nodded. "I'll call the hospital to let Hakozaki know to come back as well... And then there's one more call we need to make..."
*A short time later...*
"I've returned!" Chika announced as she entered Vert's room where the other Rangers were gathered. "So why are we gathering in Vert's room?"
"To use the big window as a lookout point," Adrian replied, before explaining what they'd found out at the precinct.
"You mean that giant flying robot that little Overlord brat was piloting?" Chika summarized. "But if that's true, how are we going to combat it? The large Nepgeardam is over in Planeptune, and 5pb. is on tour, so we can't use her singing stage robot either...!"
"Yeah, and because of the ammo dump getting blown up by that Bubi, the Army's tanks won't have any firepower to take down that thing!" Peach sighed in frustration.
"But now that you're here, maybe we can warp over to the junkyard and try a preemptive strike before they get it off the ground," A-Mac suggested.
"Exactly what I was thinking!" Nisa nodded... but suddenly a phone rang.
"Is that the landline?" Peach realized.
"Oh dear, I'd better get it then," Chika said, jogging to the phone in question and picking up. "Leanbox Basilicom, Oracle Hakozaki speaking... WHAT?! Oh, no... That was exactly what I didn't want to hear... yes, we'll be over right away." Hanging up, the greenette turned to the others with a look of despair on her face. "It's already too late; they've got the Kaiser up and walking."
There was a collective groan from the other Rangers...
*In the northeast sector of the city...*
(Music- 'Wrath Of The Lady', Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge)
The giant robot plodded through the streets, several civilians fleeing in terror as it crushed parked cars and night-lamps underfoot, occasionally punching holes in the high rises! But instead of Laharl's hair, it was a facsimile of Ironmouse's pink and purple twin-tails crowning the robot's head.
"Hahahahaha! That's right, fuckers, run away!" Ironmouse taunted as she sat in the robot's chest, glowing with power that fed into said robot's circuitry. "With this refurbished Mousey Kaiser VI, I shall rule Leanbox with an iron fist! Pun fucking intended!"
Not far away, the Armored Rangers appeared on the roof of a mid-sized apartment building. "Good thinking dropping us here, so the Kaiser didn't have a complete height advantage over us," Yellow Tiger said.
"Look, there it is!" Blue Falcon pointed, the others turning to look.
"My word, she put her own hair on that thing? Talk about gauche!" Black Raven shook her head in disgust.
"You're worried about the HAIR, of all things?!" White Gorilla sighed. "Anyway, why is it walking and not flying?"
"Maybe they couldn't fix the rocket thrust or whatever?" A-Mac guessed.
"Well, if that's true, that would make things slightly easier," Red Grizzly mused. "At least she can't just rain down devastation all over the city from the skies..."
"Uh, guys, I think she's spotted us!" Nisa fretted. Sure enough, the Mousey Kaiser VI plodded up to the building, the devil herself grinning sinisterly at the heroes as they took defensive stances.
"Well, look who came to the fucking party!" Ironmouse taunted. "Bet you didn't fucking see this coming! See, unlike that stupid Bubi, I do my homework... and I know for a fact both of your giant robots are outta fucking town! And since your fucking goddess is outta commission and your fucking army doesn't have any fucking ammo, you're shit outta luck!"
"If you think you've completely defanged our city's defenses, think again!" Red Grizzly pointed at Ironmouse.
"And your coming up so close was a mistake!" Black Raven asserted. "Sylhet Spear!" The giant lance shot out at Ironmouse, only to be blocked by the Kaiser's right arm. "Curses!"
"Nice try, fucker! I almost didn't see that coming!" Ironmouse laughed. "My turn!" The robot's eyes glowed red, causing the Armored Rangers to scatter and flee just before the lasers fired, breaking off a piece of the roof which crashed to the street below! "That's right, scatter like fucking cockroaches! What're ya gonna fucking do now? Nothing, that's what! 'Cause I'm bring down this fucking building and you with it!" The Kaiser lifted a leg to start kicking at the building's foundations...
But then something shot from the sky and exploded against the giant robot's back, causing it to pitch forward and crash into the building's side! "Ahh, what the fuck?!" Ironmouse grunted as the Kaiser gripped the roof with its hands to pull itself back up, turning to see several warplanes flying high above!
"Holy shit, is that the entire Leanbox Air Force?!" Yellow Tiger gasped in awe.
"So that's the 'other call' you were talking about..." Blue Falcon muttered.
"That's right!" Adrian nodded. "The Army might've lost their ammo, but the Air Force still has their munitions!"
"Oh, real fucking clever... so you fuckers were just a diversion, huh?!" Ironmouse growled. "Well, fuck off, airplanes!" The Mousey Kaiser VI fired its laser-eyes into the sky, blowing up one plane outright and causing a few others to go into a downward spiral!
"Eject! Eject!" Peach cried instinctively... but alas, the wounded planes hit the ground and exploded with no signs of parachutes. "Dammit!" she punched the ground in frustration.
"Get a hold of yourself, Sergeant! Casualties in war are inevitable!" Red Grizzly yelled.
"Doesn't mean we have to like i- LOOK OUT!" A-Mac cried, he and the other Rangers diving aside as Ironmouse turned her lasers back on them! But this gave the Air Force time to regroup, a detachment of five supersonic planes flying down then back up, several missiles streaking toward the giant robot-
"On no you don't!" the devil yelled as she swatted half of the missiles aside with her robot's hand, the rest exploding against her legs with no discernible effect. "You're gonna need a lot more firepower than that, fuckers!"
"Geez, what's it gonna take to bring that thing down?!" Yellow Tiger asked in dismay.
"Nothing, 'cause you're going down, Rangers!" Ironmouse exclaimed as the Kaiser raised its fist- only for a massive lance to nail the robot in the shoulder, causing it to recoil! "What the fuck...?!"
"That was a Sylhet Spear!" White Gorilla said.
"That wasn't me!" Black Raven shook her head. "Which means..." She and the other Rangers turned to look up into the sky, and sure enough, there was a familiar green-haired figure floating above with her spear out. "Lady Vert!"
"WHAT?" Ironmouse gasped in disbelief. "I thought I fucking took you out!"
"As if I would allow a minor head injury to stop me from protecting my nation!" Green Heart shot back, though her cranium was partially wrapped in white gauze.
"Lady Vert, you shouldn't fight in your condition!" Peashy protested.
"It only matters if she lands a hit!" Green Heart asserted, easily dodging the Kaiser's eye-lasers! "Case in point!"
"Dammit, stand still!" Ironmouse yelled as her robot's lasers scoured the sky. But then several warplanes began peppering her with machine-gun fire, causing her to whip around and fire back, clipping one plane's wing, though the pilot was able to eject this time.
Taking advantage of the distraction, Green Heart raised her hand to the sky... "I call upon the power of the Hyper Share Crystal! Access NEXT Form!" Since time was of the essence, the transformation sequence was skipped, Vert's NEXT Form appearing in a flash of light! "Now to end this!" Flying above the building where the Rangers were standing, she called out, "Peach, be prepared to catch me!"
"What is she doing...?" A-Mac asked.
"It must be her ultimate EXE Drive!" Adrian comprehended. Sure enough, NEXT Green raised her hands to the sky, several green gates opening all throughout the sky! "Hit the deck!" Adrian ordered, he and his fellow Rangers promptly doing so!
"Break off! Break off!" the Air Force commander called over the radio, the warplanes promptly fleeing the scene!
"Ohhh, fuck me..." Ironmouse said with visible fear, the Mousey Kaiser VI hunching down and covering its head...
"I'll end this in one strike! INFINITE SPEAR!" NEXT Green intoned, the gates in the sky firing multiple green energy spears that all converged on the giant robot, resulting in a massive explosion which caused the front of the nearby building to collapse! Fortunately the Rangers had retreated to the far edge of the building's roof, and the civilians had evacuated by this time.
(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)
"Oh no! Lady Vert!" Chika said, observing the CPU reverting to normal and falling from the sky.
"I got her!" Peach grunted as she got her feet under her and leapt upward, managing to catch the busty blonde in a bridal carry before landing back on the roof safely, then gently laid her down.
"Nice work, Peashy," Adrian said as he and the others gathered around Vert. "Still with us, Lady Vert?"
"Yes, I am..." the CPU nodded, sitting up. "Did I get her...?"
"I'll go check!" Nisa spoke up, running to the broken edge of the roof and looking down. "...oh, yeah, you got her. Nothing but a pile of scrap!" Indeed, the only parts that still seemed to be intact were the Kaiser's head and hands.
"Any sign of Mouse herself?" Red Grizzly called.
"Not yet... she might be buried under all that!" Blue Falcon called back.
"Maybe that Bubi guy pulled her out?" Yellow Tiger suggested.
"It's certainly possible..." Black Raven mused. But then they heard Nisa gasp in surprise, seeing her slowly back away as something rose into view, causing all the Armored Rangers to abruptly get to their feet in fighting poses...
"...Ready for round two, fuckers?" Ironmouse taunted with an evil grin.
*To be continued...*