Snyderverse Neptunia Snippets

by Derald Snyder

Snippet 69- Stopping Time

Timeline- Somewhere after 'The High School Turnabout'.

Canon status- Dubious, leaning towards non-canon. Just an idea that popped into my head.

It hadn't been the first time that the CPUs had faced off against an ancient goddess of great power. But Neptune was fairly certain that it had been at least a game or two since they'd been stomped into the ground so badly (even if said games were spin-offs).

"How the hell... did we lose so damn badly..." Clearly Blanc shared Neptune's sentiment, face-down in the dirt just like the main character herself.

"Impossible..." Vert groaned, lying on her back with swirls in her eyes. "It's like... she knew our moves... before we made them..." Noire might have been griping and complaining, save for the fact that she was completely unconscious, no doubt from Neptune having landed on top of her yet again.

"I know... it's hard sometimes, being so perfect," said their opponent as she floated over the CPUs. She had short cobalt blue hair held in place with a chain, with large matching eyes and fair skin, long legs and a bust that nearly rivaled Vert's, wearing a white and black outfit with a blue chest ribbon, black leggings and high heels, and detached dark grey sleeves with blue highlights. The most notable thing about her, however, was the clock-like ornament that floated just behind her head, the hands even rotating in a clockwise motion with the longer hand moving a bit faster than the short one. "Maybe if you tried ambushing me instead of coming head-on, you might've had a chance... oh well. Now to figure out which one of your castles I'm gonna take over..." With that, she rose into the air and flew off, humming a merry tune.

"...Goodness, it's a good thing you told me to stay hidden, Neptune," Nepgear suddenly popped up from under a fake bush nearby. "Hyper Heal!" she intoned, all the CPUs enveloped with green sparkles, beginning to slowly rouse (with the exception of Noire). "Um, does anyone have a Phoenix Down or something for Noire?"

"Eh, she'll wake up soon enough," Neptune shrugged.

"Okay, but how about the fact that was a complete freaking disaster?!" Blanc grumbled. "How the hell are we supposed to beat someone like THAT?"

"I know... if only there was a final boss we could consult, that didn't die when the heroes won..." Vert lamented.

"Vert, that's brilliant! There IS an ex-final boss we can consult!" Neptune exclaimed.

"I know who you're talking about, but can she really help us?" Blanc sighed.

"There's only one way to find out!" Neptune exclaimed, turning to face the viewers... "Hey author, that's your cue!"

*Samson & Co. Law Offices*

Now the CPUs were all sitting across from the reception desk, occupied by one Rei Ryghts, though Noire now had a cold compress on her head, still a bit out of it. "Ah, gotta love quick scene changes!" Neptune stated smugly. (Nepgear had gone back to Planeptune to try and shore up the Basilicom's defenses.)

"Um, so why are y-you all h-here again?" Rei asked with a sweat-drop.

"Oh right. Well, here's what went down... yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah..."

"S-so you were all b-beaten b-by a sexy g-goddess with b-blue hair and a c-clock head ornament?" Rei reiterated. "Well, I already know why you pathetic maggots lost..."

"Oh my, you've solved the mystery already?" Vert gasped, nonplussed.

"I expected no less of the local Ace Attorney," Blanc nodded. "So what's the answer?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Rei gave Blanc a look of disbelief. "The clock ornament on her head obviously means she's a time goddess! In other words, every time you landed an attack on her, she just rewound time to evade or counter it!"

"Time goddess?!" cried Neptune, Blanc, and Vert.

"Please stop shouting..." Noire groaned as she adjusted her ice pack on her head.

"Well, that explains why I got a feeling of deja vu whenever I tried to attack her," Vert comprehended.

"Okay, but how do we deal with such a blatant cheat like that?!" Neptune griped. "It's not like we can cheat ourselves, then we'd be no better than Arfoire!"

"Um, th-that I'm not s-so sure about..." Rei bowed her head and tapped her fingers together.

"Wait, didn't she say after she beat us that we might have had a chance if we'd ambushed her?" Blanc tried to recall.

"Which means that if we caught her off guard, perhaps we could knock her out before she had a chance to use her time powers..." Vert mused.

"But how the hell would we be able to do that?" Blanc said in frustration. Just then, Bartholomew J. Samson came out of the back office.

"Lady Blanc, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but... there was a news report of an explosion at your Basilicom," the heavyset lawyer stated.

"My Basilicom...?! ROM! RAM!" Blanc cried in shock and fear, immediately transforming to HDD and flying out of the office!

"Wait, Blanc! We haven't even formed a strategy yet...!" Vert yelled after her as she did the same.

"Guess I better go with," Neptune sighed in resignation, before transforming as well. "Noire, you can sit this one out this time. Please look after her."

"We will," Bartholomew nodded.

"Good luck," Noire groaned as Purple Heart left the office...

*Lowee Basilicom*

White Heart flew as fast as she could, teeth gritted and eyes squinted to try and guard against any airborne debris... (I swear, if that smug bitch harms one hair on their heads...!) Thankfully, the Basilicom soon came into view, Blanc hitting the brakes as she zeroed in on the large hole in the wall... "Rom! Ram! Are you there?! Tell me you're okay, dammit!"

"We're fine, Big Sis!" came Ram's voice, with no indication of being under threat. Letting her breath out in a rush, White Heart floated through the hole at a more sedate pace- and stopped cold at what she saw.

"Hello, Lady White Heart," Financier greeted, ripping off a piece of duct tape. "Unfortunately, you're a little late; we've already resolved the situation." With that, she placed said tape over the mouth of an unconscious time goddess, who was effectively cocooned up to her ample bosom in duct tape as well, with her high heels sticking out the bottom.

"Wha..." Blanc's jaw dropped as she reverted to normal in shock. "How the hell did you beat her when all four of us didn't stand a freaking chance...?!"

"Oh, that was easy!" Ram chuckled as she twirled an empty duct tape roll on her finger. "It went something like this!"

*Flashback*

The wall exploded, Rom and Ram crying out in fear as they covered their heads from flying debris... "Hello there," the time goddess greeted as she floated through the newly-created hole. "My name is Ouro Kronii, Warden of Time, and I'll be taking this place for myself. I'll give you kids ten seconds to kneel and call me Madam Goddess."

"You and what army?!" Ram cried defiantly.

"I am the army," Kronii said smugly. "I just beat all four of your guardian goddesses without breaking a sweat. So just give up if you know what's good for you, okay?"

"Um, Ram?" Rom spoke up. "Maybe we should try 'you-know-what'..."

"Oooh, good idea! Gimme!" Ram said with a grin, Rom promptly pressing a black object into the offered hand.

"Please," Kronii rolled her eyes as she closed in, "what could you have that could possibly stop- HOLY..." Her eyes went wide and her irises shrunk at seeing what Ram had in her hands. "What the frick-?!"

"What's the matter? It's just a cute lil' spider," Ram taunted, waving the object in her hands up and down a little.

"That is NOT a cute little spider!" Kronii wailed as she backed off. "That is a BIG ASS SPIDER! Ohhh my god...!" Ram then tossed said spider in her direction, causing her to let loose with a high-pitched screech! "ohmygodohmygodohmygod- I'm gonna die imgonnadieimgonnadieimgonna-"

(BONG!) Kronii's eyes rolled up in her head as she collapsed bonelessly to the floor, now sporting a large bump on her cranium, courtesy of the large frying pan held by Financier. "Good job, you two, distracting her long enough for me to sneak up on her."

"You're welcome!" Rom said politely.

"Now let's get her tied up!" Rom exclaimed happily.

*End Flashback*

"What the..." Blanc's eyes had shrunk to small white circles. "A freaking spider?! THAT'S what did her in?!"

"Yeah, you shoulda seen the look on her face...!" Ram gasping out between peals of laughter, Rom giggling along with her. "And it wasn't even real, just a really good mock-up, heeheeheehahahaha...!"

"Oh my... to think she had such a mundane weakness," Vert said with a sweat-drop, already having reverted her HDD. "But if it works, it works, I suppose..."

"I agree, it is a bit anticlimactic," said Purple Heart who had just arrived, reverting to Neptune soon after. "But hey, all's well that ends well, right?"

"...Waaaaait a minute," Blanc's face darkened as something came to her. "You two weren't planning to use that fake spider to prank Financier or myself, were you...?!"

The twins looked at each other, then back at Blanc, trying to look as innocent as possible. "No," they said in unison, halos appearing over their heads.

"Uh-huh, suuuuure," Neptune deadpanned. "I see those horns holding up your halos..."

"So do I," Blanc said curtly. "But you did help stop this bitch, so I'll forgive you two just this once. Now hand it over!" She put out her hand expectantly.

"Awww..." Ram sighed in disappointment as she reluctantly handed over the fake spider.

"My, if I didn't know that was fake, even I might have been put off a bit," Vert said.

"Yeah, Nep Jr. woulda probably freaked as well," Neptune added. "Not me, though, I'd just stomp it." Her attention was then drawn to a pained groan. "Uh-oh, she's comin' around..." Sure enough, Kronii slowly roused, her eyes blinking a few times before realizing her situation, screaming through her tape gag as she thrashed about, falling off the chair.

"Oh, behave," Blanc grumbled, tossing the fake spider in her direction, Kronii immediately trying to scream in terror as she frantically crawled away from the faux arachnid, at least until her head hit the wall, curling into a fetal position from mortal fear, Rom and Ram bursting into laughter again at the sight.

"So, what are we gonna do with her?" Neptune asked.

"Lock her in solitary confinement," Blanc replied. "In the cell most infested with spiders!"

"NMMMMMMM!" Kronii shook her head in terror...

Snippet 69- End*

A/N: There's going to be an 'alternate ending' to this story in the next snippet... stay tuned! ;-)