"How do you feel?"
"Afraid."
Blu was laid down on a bird-sized psychiatrist's couch, his wings folded gently against his stomach, as he stared at the top of the hollow he and Jewel had found.
"And what are you afraid of?"
"Of Jewel leaving me."
Blu looked over to see Yin, sitting in a bird-sized chair, scribbling words onto a notepad. "Mhm.", he said. "You have every right to be afraid of that. Unfortunately, it's already set in stone. It's just a matter of time. How do you think it will happen?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, picture this..."
"Hey, Jewel... can I talk to you?" Blu asked.
The two sat inside the hollow that the family had just found the previous night, upon arriving to Rio. It wasn't as fancy, or as large as the hollow they had back inside the Amazon, but it managed to get the job done fairly well.
It was just the two of them, staring at one another.
"Sure, about what?"
"About recently..." Blu began, as he stared at the ground, ashamed to look at Jewel's eyes.
"Look, uh... ever since we got to the Amazon... I've been kind of, uh... depressed, and... I've been really unhappy...", he trailed off.
"Um... I feel like I'm... pathetic, and... worthless, and that I'm an a-annoyance to everyone. I feel like I'm... I'm not good enough for you, and no matter what I seem to do, I-I can't cheer myself up. Nothing brings me joy anymore," Blu said, as his breath became shaky.
"And... and I need your help..." he finished, still staring at the ground.
Silence filled the room.
"...Seriously?"
Blu raised his head to look at Jewel, who was glaring angrily.
"I take you and the kids back to Rio, leave MY home in the Amazon for you, just for you to tell me you're unhappy?!"
"J-Jewel, I'm s-sorry, I-"
"No, Blu! I don't want to hear it!", she shouted angrily. "Is what I do not good enough for you?! What about the kids?! Is what they do for you not enough?! You have everything you could ever want, and you want to sit around and mope because...because you had to leave a human lifestyle behind and live in the Amazon?! Oh, well boo-hoo! Do you know how ungrateful you are?!", she screamed.
Tears began to fall from Blu's amber eyes, slowly wetting the light blue circles around them.
"P-please, J-Jewel..."
"You know what, Blu? You're right. You really are worthless, and you're certainly right about not being good enough! A good mate would be grateful for his family! A bird who serves any purpose in life would be able to put his own emotions aside! Screw you!" she finished, as she stormed off and flew away.
Blu was completely alone, unable to do anything but sob.
"That's not gonna happen." Blu stated, before he paused. "...Right? I mean, Jewel isn't cruel. I know that."
"Okay, so... I may have overexaggerated a little bit..." Yin said, going back to scribbling words on the notepad. "There's certainly thousands of other ways it could go, but... they all end the same way, with her realizing you're not good enough for her, and you ending up alone."
Blu turned his head back to the ceiling.
"That's what you're really afraid of..." Yin began. "Being alone. You've been alone for so much of your life, that it's become your greatest fear."
"Right again." Blu stated.
"You never built those meaningful relationships that prevented your loneliness and disconnection to the world, the ones that prevented your biggest fears from becoming reality... with other birds, at least.", Yin continued. "The only meaningful relationship you ever had was Linda, and you know that doesn't compare to having relationships with ones who can actually understand what you're saying... and who you really are. And now that you finally have one full of love... one with meaning, one with someone who knows who you really are... you're going to lose it all. And do you know why?"
"Why?"
"It's going to be for those same reasons that you hate yourself for, the same reasons why you could never make those same relationships in the first place."
"And what are those reasons?"
"Because you're a pathetic failure. You're a sorry excuse and an absolute embarrassment of a macaw who others would be better off without. But you're so selfish that you'd rather sit there and waste everyone else's time by trying to hide it."
"I was listening to what you told me! Besides, why do you talk to me like that?" Blu asked, annoyed. "It just makes me feel worse."
Yin jotted that down.
"And why does me saying something like that make you feel worse?"
"Why do you think?! It's beca-"
"It's because I'm right."
Blu sighed. "Yeah...", he said sadly.
"When was the first time you had these feelings?"
"Huh?"
"When you first started feeling lonely and depressed." Yin said. "Oh, and I'll give you a hint: it didn't start in the Amazon.
"Uh... oh, well, the first time I ever felt them was back in Minnesota..."
"Right. And why did you feel like that?"
"You already told me the answer to that question.", Blu scoffed. "Because I was lonely and never built those friendships that prevented the loneliness."
"Mhm.", Yin said, continuing to write. "And that was because nobody ever liked you to begin with."
"Yeah."
"For example... remember these times?"
A young Blu was outside with Linda at a park, as he walked up to an American Goldfinch.
"Uh, h-hi...", he said shyly. "U-um, my name's Blu, and I'm a spix's macaw! Wha-what about you, what's your name?"
The bird just laughed. "Don't talk to me, dude."
Another day, he tried again with another bird...
The bird scoffed. "Seriously?"
Again.
"Aren't you that loser pet at the book shop? Go away."
And again.
"Yeah, I know who you are. I don't want to talk to you."
And again.
"I'm not gonna be your friend, weirdo!"
And again.
"Don't you ever realize how pathetic you are? To be an exotic parrot and be stuck as a flightless reject?"
And again.
Over, and over, and over.
And over.
Eventually, Blu just gave up trying to make friends. He tried to let it go, and not bother him. He couldn't control how he felt, however.
One day, Blu was staring out the window of the book store, thinking angrily to himself.
"You know why these other birds don't like you?", he thought to himself as he looked at his reflection. "It's because they're right about you. What kind of spix macaw can't fly? What kind of spix macaw lives in Minnesota? You really are pathetic!"
Blu began to tap slowly on the glass with his talon as he mumbled to himself.
"Pathetic.", he said as he tapped.
"Worthless."
"Annoying."
"Reject."
"Failure."
Yin began to write on the notepad. "Showing signs of ungratefulness despite having Linda... seems to be very ungrateful for the few family members he has..."
Blu looked at him angrily. "Whatever. Can we talk about something else? I don't like to think about those times."
"Hm... okay." Yin said. "Let's think about yesterday, when your parents were brought up. How did that make you feel?"
"Uh... well, it sucked.", Blu began. "Everybody was staring at me, and I felt like they were judging me. It felt like they were judging me after I flipped out for not knowing them. I didn't mean to flip out either, I just... I cracked under pressure. I broke.
"Mhm. Didn't I tell you not to do that?"
"Yeah, yeah. You're right... yet again.", Blu rolled his eyes.
"Not to mention, it made you look bad in front of Jewel. Like I said... that's the second mess up you've shown."
"Yeah, I got it. I know. I screwed up.", Blu said, agitated.
Silence filled the room like oxygen.
"Hey.", Yin said.
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever wonder why your parents weren't there? Why your dad just so happened to be absent when you were born, and your mom didn't save you from what happened?"
"Yeah, I think about that a lot."
"It's because they didn't love you. They knew who you would turn out to be. They knew you would be an embarrassment, and decided to give up on any chance of-"
"Shut the hell up!", Blu barked. "Shut up, okay? That... that wasn't the reason! It was just... unlucky timing!"
"In denial about his parents...", Yin said, writing.
Blu began to sigh angrily. "Can we think about ANYTHING else?! Please? How about... how about some happy times?"
"Okay, well, how about when you scored the own goal at the Pit of Doom? Let's think about that." Yin smiled sarcastically.
"Uh, no, let's no-"
"Remember this?" Yin began, as Blu began to picture a moment after the Pit of Doom.
"No!" Blu said, as he stood up from the couch, shaking the memory. "No, stop! I don't want to think about that!"
Yin quickly wrote that down, as he stared up at Blu. "Doesn't like to think about the Pit of Doom...", he smirked.
"God, aren't you supposed to be the therapist here?", Blu asked. "Therapists are supposed to help, not make their patients feel worse! If your goal is to make me feel worse, you're not very good at this therapy thing."
Yin just stared silently, his once uncanny smirk and look had transformed into a frozen and neutral resting state.
"Uh, hello?"
More silence.
"...Yin?"
Blu just sighed as he laid back down on the psychiatrist's couch, and closed his eyes.
"Blu, wake up. Our friends are here."
Blu's eyes opened slowly as he looked to see Jewel above him.
"Oh, good morning Jewel.", he smiled. "How did you sleep?"
"Well, first off, the new nest is fine, but it's a little small and hard to fit in..." Jewel began.
The family had found an empty and abandoned hollow that had a few nests leftover from the prior family that had lived there. The hollow was located on the outskirts of Rio, near Rafael and Eva's hollow where Blu and Jewel had first met the couple when they were trying to get unchained from each other.
"And second off," Jewel continued, "It's afternoon. Now get up, they've been waiting for us outside."
"Yo, hot wings!", came a voice from outside the hollow. "Y'all mating in there or what?"
"Oy, Pedro! Don't ask that, that's private!"
The voices began talking to each other, as Blu got up from the nest and tiredly walked behind Jewel.
"What was that about?" Blu asked himself in his mind.
The pair then gently glided down from the hollow, which was raised above the ground, and landed on the ground in front of the trio known as Pedro, Nico, and Rafael.
"Oh, there they are! Wassup, lovebirds?" Nico said, as he grabbed his bottle cap and flipped it in the air, before catching it on his head. "How y'all been?"
"Sorry.", Pedro said casually. "Didn't mean to interrupt y'all's session.", he smirked.
Rafael and Nico both turned to Pedro, giving him a serious look as his smirk disappeared.
"Seriously, though, y'all doing good?", Pedro asked, changing the conversation.
"We've been doing good... and no, Pedro, we weren't mating.", Jewel said defensively as she blushed. "Blu here loves to sleep late.", she said.
"We can tell.", Rafael said, as he looked at Blu. "You look tired, amigo!"
"Yeah, I'm just not a morning per... bird. I'm not a morning bird.", Blu smiled.
"Morning bird? Bro, it's the afternoon! You ain't got no reason to be sleeping this late!" Pedro exclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right... but, I'm awake now.", Blu said as he began to trail off.
"Wait, Jewel?", he asked, quickly turning to her. "Uh, where are the kids?"
"They're with Rafael's kids at their hollow.", Jewel responded.
Blu seemed unsure of that answer. Rafael noticed this and laughed.
"Ah, don't worry, amigo! Eva's got it all under control! Besides, my kids aren't aggressive anymore.", Rafael smiled.
Blu let out a nervous laugh. "Alright, good, good... so, what do you guys want to do today?"
"Let's fly through the city, bro! We can stop at the club later." Nico said as Pedro nodded. "Yeah! We can sing y'all's song when we're there.", Pedro added. "Let's go!", he said, as the group began to fly off.
Just as Blu was about to lift himself off the ground and fly with them, he heard something.
"Enjoy it while it lasts..."
Blu turned around to see Yin looking at him from the hollow his family was using. "I'll see you later.", Yin said, as he walked back into the hollow.
"Blu!", came another voice.
He turned around to see the group, waiting patiently, fluttering in the air. "Aren't you coming?", Jewel asked, a nervous look on her beak.
"Yeah... I'm coming.", Blu said as he lifted himself off the ground and flew to the group.
Outside of Rafael and Eva's hollow, Bia, Carla, and Tiago sat outside, with the many toucan children running and flying around.
Carla was listening to music, Tiago was showing one of the children how to use fireworks, despite strictly being told by Rafael to NOT do that, and Bia was writing in her journal.
At least, she was trying to. Unfortunately, she found herself not thinking about animals she had seen on the flight to Rio, but instead thinking about her father's nervous breakdown the prior day.
"Hey, you guys?", she asked, putting her notebook down.
Carla paused her music and took her earbuds out. "Yeah?"
Tiago put one of the fireworks on the ground. "Yeah, Bia?"
"I'm worried about dad. Think about how he's been recently. He's always seemed sad, lost in his thoughts... and yesterday, he lost it when he was getting asked about his real parents. It's not like him."
"Yeah, you're right.", Carla said. "He has seemed really off lately..."
"And unhappy.", Tiago added.
"I mean, when we asked mom, she just said he had a long day... but now that I'm thinking about it,", Carla said, "He's been acting like that even before we asked."
"That's what I mean!", Bia said sadly. "We should try and find out what's bothering him, and try to make him feel better."
"Yeah, we can cheer him up!", Carla said.
"Good idea." Tiago said, as he turned to the same young toucan he had been showing fireworks to. "Hey, what's your name?", he asked the toucan.
"Rafi", the young toucan smiled.
"Alright, Rafi. So, what do you and your siblings do to cheer your dad up when he's in a bad mood?"
"Well, we just let him know how much we love him.", Rafi said. "But, sometimes our dad's clearly still in a bad mood after."
"So, what do you do then?"
"Our mom takes over after that. They go back to their room and have a shouting match, it lets dad relieve his anger, and it makes my mom feel good because she's always yelling "Oh, more, Rafael!". I don't know why she likes getting yelled at, because normally when dad yells at us, it's really scary.", Rafi said.
Tiago just turned and looked at Bia and Carla, who were staring at him in return. Tiago looked around and saw at least 10 young toucans running and flying inside and outside the hollow.
"Geez, is your dad always pissed?"
"Tiago!", Bia exclaimed. "Don't say that in front of them! They're too young."
Rafi looked at Tiago. "What's pissed mean?"
"It means mad or angry. Don't say it though, it's a bad word."
"I'm gonna go say it!" Rafi said, as he ran off to bother some of his siblings. "Hey, you're pissed!" he said to a few of them, as his voice got further and further away.
Tiago turned back around to Bia and Carla, who were glaring at him.
Tiago just shrugged. "Hey, that's not my problem. We've got another problem to worry about, and that's how to cheer dad up."
"You're right.", Bia said. "But if we get asked where Rafi learned that word from, we're telling mom and dad immediately."
"Well, if anything, I learned it from Carla...", Tiago said, trying to deflect the blame.
"Hey, don't drag me into that! I didn't say it in front of their kids!", Carla said, defending herself.
"Yeah, but you sa-"
"Guys! Focus!", Bia interjected. "We need to think of ideas. Ideas that... are not what Rafi said."
"Why don't we just ask him directly?", Carla suggested.
"What? That's not a good idea. Think about yesterday how he responded when everyone started questioning him, Bia said he lost it."
As Tiago and Carla began to argue over ideas, Bia found herself asking what she would say to her father.
