A/N: Nacho Sampler all in one. Lots of sadness here. Also, lots of wtf's in this episode. How did Ellie find the claim ticket? How the hell did they get Manoosh out of Castle once he was in? The portable nature of Manoosh's Intersect was revolutionary, but mostly ignored. Thirty hours in flight just brushed off here too. The real sadness in this episode: Chuck gets to see behind the scenes, and it changes how he sees what happened with Sarah. Not completely, but enough to question it. That unanswered "why." Do not underestimate how sad Sarah is at the end of this episode. And she just keeps getting sadder. Enough that being with Shaw made her feel better. That's how bad. We are about to plunge into the abyss next episode. Here goes. Watch for Chapter 8 of Once and Again tomorrow.
It was almost a week after that mission on the plane that I found out about Hannah.
Yes, I knew there was a new female Nerd Herder, a petite and soft-spoken brunette. Morgan officially hired her, as the assistant manager for the Buy More. She was a backfill for Anna Wu, who had quit on the same day as Morgan, Ellie's wedding day. Emmett had never filled the position, from what we saw on paper it was for cost-saving purposes, although, technically, because Chuck almost never did actual Buy More Nerd Herd duties, they were short-staffed.
Did Shaw know about Hannah from that flight? The million dollar question. I don't know. Had I not been in the downward spiral, my spy senses might have been working a little better than they were. Shaw knew everything about that flight–that Panzer was on the plane with the crypto key to his dead wife's spy will, that there was a second Ring operative on the plane, even that her name was Serena. He kept his own team in the dark about it. Who knows if he somehow maneuvered the situation between Chuck and Hannah on the plane.
Let's get this straight though–there was never any evidence that Hannah knew Shaw, or that she was working for him, or anything of the sort. But Shaw was a master manipulator, and if he saw an opportunity to force someone in between Chuck and me, he would have taken it.
So, let's also get this straight. Shaw may have been sent to Burbank to lead Team Bartowski to defeat the Ring, and to optimize the Intersect 2.0. A key to that ultimate successful mastery? Separate Chuck and me. The rationality was multi-layered. Chuck didn't work when he was too emotional–and there was nothing that made him more emotional than me. Chuck's development was hindered by my constant helicoptering. Beckman's plan for Chuck, for the future, did not include me, or Casey for that matter. They wanted an autonomous spy.
And it is also fair to include more personal details. Shaw wanted me for himself. That statement requires a bit of explanation.
Before he snapped, Shaw was a good spy. He put the mission first, ahead of his feelings. That included the mission given to him by the CIA, regarding Chuck. I was an afterthought. A little trophy for a job well done. His interest in me was even more superficial than Bryce's interest in me had been. Bryce, at his very best, cared about me. Maybe even in his limited, twisted way loved me.
Shaw just wanted the relationship, the attachment. I don't claim to know what he was like before he lost his wife, nor do I know what their relationship was like, how they got together or why. He never, ever talked about her, other than that one conversation when we saw her rings. Maybe he was an entirely different person before we ever met him…and losing her destroyed him. Or, maybe…his love for her was different from her love for him. Getting a bit ahead of myself, but that is the backdrop for this.
The first time Daniel and I had sex, it was about possessing me, claiming me, more than it was about any kind of pleasure or emotion. He was inattentive and rough. He was wooden, like a machine…but he was smug, self-satisfied when he rolled off of me. I remember thinking, as I pulled the sheet up to cover myself, that if he could have, he would have snapped a picture of me there, just to show Chuck. Sounds sick. I quickly attributed those thoughts to my own insecurities at the time, but it was probably closer to the truth than anything else.
Casey and I were running the typical background checks we had to do on any new Buy More employees, standard procedure since day one. It was only then that I realized she had just relocated from Paris, and that she had been on the same flight as Chuck during that mission.
Watching on the monitors, I suddenly started to notice the way she looked at Chuck. Jealousy was back, only this time it was worse than it had been with Lou or Jill. Back then, I still had hope, however weak, that something would work out for Chuck and me. Now, I had lost my chance forever, or so I thought. And here was this beautiful girl, who worked with computers, who was available to him emotionally–who had followed him to California and took a job at a Buy More when she was qualified to practically run Roark Instruments. I could feel him pulling away from me and it scared me to death.
Even after everything, I had a hard time trying to think about what life would be like after Chuck. To my mind, it was like trying to think about the end of the world. So horrific, so devastating, that it was better to just let the coming cataclysm destroy you than to try to live through it and its aftermath. Oddly, when I watched Hannah, it felt like I was looking at the asteroid that no one else could see coming, that was about to obliterate the earth.
Two days before Hannah officially started working at the Buy More, Shaw went on a covert mission. So classified that Casey and I never got the details. I could tell from the time difference, from wherever he was checking in, that he was somewhere in the Middle East, but other than that, we were in the dark. It felt shady, although that was sort of status quo with the CIA. If we didn't need to know, they didn't tell us. Still, he led our team. It didn't seem right.
On Hannah's first day, Beckman notified us we had a briefing with her. We hadn't spoken to or seen her in a while.
Chuck was entirely too friendly when he addressed her. It was the way he used to talk to her when he was my asset. As a spy in training, he needed to drop the triviality in his nature. He was slow to learn that.
She was contacting us to tell us a large sum of money was transferred from an offshore Ring account into a civilian account. The civilian's name was Manoosh Depak.
His background was eerily similar to Chuck's. Computer expertise, dropped out of a prestigious school, limited social entanglements. The CIA had sent a virus specifically to destroy his computer and then bought every last replacement CPU except at our Buy More. That meant he was due to make an appearance to buy it pretty soon. She ordered Chuck to develop Manoosh as an asset.
My stomach flipped inside me when she said it. We had to train Chuck on how to take advantage of another person for the benefit of the CIA. What I had been sent to Burbank to do to him.
To me, it felt like I was a magician, now having to show a new magician how to perform all of my tricks…when the primary reason the new one trusted me was because he believed all the tricks were real.
Nevertheless, our situation was still different. Chuck was completely innocent…and so much of what I had originally shown him was real. But still, being in the position we were in–it had the potential to widen the chasm between us.
Chuck was so nonchalant, saying how easy he thought it was going to be. Remembering how I had thought the same thing as Graham sent me to Burbank after Chuck, I tried to warn him to take it more seriously, that developing an asset was complicated.
"You need to insinuate yourself into their life and have them trust you completely, knowing that one day you're probably gonna have to burn them."
Chuck looked at me strangely as I said those words. Was he thinking about me sitting next to him on the beach, telling him to trust me? Did he think that was part of my act, my job? I had been nothing but sincere back then…but how could he distinguish it any longer? I had done nothing but made him question what was real and what was fake. The more this mission went on, the more opportunity he had to see that perhaps everything I had ever done or said was fake.
And I was in no position to tell him otherwise, to correct his thinking. No-win scenario.
Manoosh walked into the Buy More while we were still talking, so Chuck went after him. Once we were alone, I told Casey Chuck wasn't ready for an asset, that we were advancing him too quickly. I told Casey I was worried, and he quickly told me training Chuck was the answer to worrying. Was I overreacting? Was I overprotective? I had long since lost my objectivity, and I had no hope of getting it back. And damn, I was going to need it.
Chuck's first interaction with Manoosh was…horrible. Like, textbook what not to do. He came on too strong, got pushy, and then freaked out. He scared the guy, made him run out of the store without even paying for the item the CIA had schemed to have him go there to buy.
Casey admitted he was wrong…that Chuck wasn't ready. That said a lot.
Chuck finished his shift at the Buy More, then came back to Castle to discuss what had happened before. Casey went through Manoosh's file with Chuck, in depth, much more detailed than before Chuck had rushed it.
"The problem was, Chuck, that you came on too strong. You never want to seem like you're making advances. You always want the other person to feel like they're in control."
I handed Chuck his earpiece. He had been studying me the entire time I was talking, making me acutely aware of the meaning behind the words I was saying, knowing he would apply everything I said to the situation with us when we first met. His next words to me confirmed it.
Putting in his earpiece, he asked, "So, uh, that first day you came into the Buy More, when we first met, what did they tell you about me?"
I adjusted his earpiece without thinking, always falling back on that innate urge I had to touch him. I felt like I wanted to die, and as much as I'd like to think my face was unreadable, I'm sure it wasn't. Casey jumped to my rescue, reminding Chuck of his dismal existence back then.
"They thought you and I could connect." I made sure I wasn't looking at him. The memory of that moment could still make me smile like a teenage girl, and it just wasn't appropriate here.
"I remember you left me your card so I could call you so we could go out. Felt like I was having the luckiest day of my life. God, I was pathetic."
Even after I had to reveal who I really was back then, he had never put himself down about the fact that our date wasn't a real date. It was such a fine distinction, but I think it meant so much more to me because of that. Like I could tell myself a part of him knew that it wasn't all pretending on that date, because it wasn't.
"No, you were sweet and innocent. I liked you." That was the truth, what I said to him then. I felt him looking at me. Pain burning behind my breastbone, I said, "It made it much harder."
"Why?" he asked me, genuinely confused about my words.
I never answered him, once again saved by Casey and his practicality interfering with our sentimentality. It was a blessing in disguise, because I didn't know how to answer him.
I know now he asked me that because he knew that I put him above my mission, every time. I remembered standing in the Buy More, ready to burn him, unable to do it, because I was hopelessly in love with him and he trusted me. I ran with him instead.
I also know his genuine confusion was there because he never completely understood how hard it was for me, feeling the way I did, and still doing my job. Of course, because he didn't completely know for sure I had loved him all that time until I told him so when he asked.
At this point, I just thought he didn't understand what I had been ordered to do. That Graham had told me to kill him if he tried to run the second before I opened my hotel room door. Maybe it was a little of both.
The mission that night was a repeat attempt to ingratiate himself with Manoosh. It was in a Mexican restaurant where we knew Manoosh liked to go. Casey got takeout and we waited in the van. We knew Manoosh's favorite thing to order off the menu was the nacho sampler, so we took all the guacamole from the kitchen and had Chuck order the last one from the kitchen right before Manoosh arrived.
Chuck did a much better job the second time around. He was reading at the bar when Manoosh sat beside him. I heard the excuse about his behavior at the Buy More when Manoosh recognized him, and it was perfect. Nonchalant and believable. I told him to boost Manoosh's ego, and he did a fantastic job. Chuck shared the nachos with Manoosh, and Manoosh offered to buy him a beer.
Between the two of them for the next hour, they drank and talked. I was amazed at how well Chuck was comporting himself. Finally, they got to the nitty gritty. Manoosh started to hint at plans, something secret. I reminded Chuck to go easy, not spook him.
Chuck spoke into his com, saying Manoosh had a ring phone. Casey ran a trace. The Ring was only three miles away. They only had five minutes. Casey sent me in to close the deal.
I was a little nervous on the way in, trying to remember the times Chuck had seen me in action while working. Payman Alahi, Lon Kirk, Cole Barker, Gilles…All at a distance, though it still bothered Chuck. Our situation was different now, but I also hadn't had to do what I did with him quite so close. I didn't have a choice.
I walked in and took off my jacket. My attire for the evening consisted of a Battlestar Galactica t-shirt, cropped, with no bra. As in, look at me. I could feel eyes on me, but I focused on Manoosh. Chuck looked upset, probably because he thought he was failing and we hadn't given him a chance. I hoped Casey would tell him we were running out of time.
I leaned close to Manoosh and asked him if the seat next to him was taken. Chuck had to help him out and answer. Manoosh was an awkward nerd, worse in a lot of ways than Chuck had been. Chuck's problems when I had met him had been caused by the blow to his self-confidence Stanford, Bryce and Jill had caused. Manoosh was disillusioned with the world and life in general, and his nerdiness seemed to increase his isolation. A very important distinction.
In the end, it was what made him burn-able. He was no innocent bystander. He was flirting with danger, with no consideration for anyone other than himself.
The moment I sat, Casey announced the arrival of the Ring. We had to get him out of there. I kissed him, tranq-ing him in the process. I saw Chuck look away quickly.
I had seen him kiss Lou and Jill, so I understand why he couldn't watch. It was excruciating pain. The difference was I was working, and it meant nothing. Chuck had seen me kiss Bryce and Cole, even those meant relatively nothing compared to the handful of times I'd kissed Chuck. But it was still hard.
Chuck and I grabbed Manoosh once he was out cold and got him out the door quickly and into the van just in the nick of time. Casey of course had to tell me I did a good job. "Another geek bites the dust." It did nothing to bolster Chuck's spirits.
My task after that was even worse. We had a setup in Castle that looked like a bedroom, locking from the outside. I was to pretend Manoosh and I had spent the night together, in order to get him to finish what he had been saying about the weapon he was developing for the Ring.
He was stripped down to his boxer shorts. I wore only a bra and panties and I had to be all over him, pretending like we had had sex the night before. It was uncomfortably reminiscent of my mission with Gilles, not as explicit, but far more revealing and graphic than almost any mission I had been assigned to do. Worse, Chuck was watching me do it through two-way glass.
Chuck had already pulled away, and he was drifting farther. Did he think I always did this? That all my years with the CIA I was rolling around in bed half-dressed with my marks? I had always kept my standards, my decision to not prostitute myself for the CIA, even if I had that one awful time with Gilles. I had never defended myself to Chuck, never thinking I had to. And to be honest, my consolation was I had done far more assassinating than fucking. I didn't know what was worse, what Chuck would think was worse.
I had always believed, deep down inside, that Chuck understood, probably more than anyone, who I really was. He saw through to the heart of me, and no tale of horror from my past had ever seemed to deter him for long. It had bothered him more that I lied to him than I had killed someone in cold blood. I was starting to doubt it, now that he had seen the strings on the puppet, so to speak.
I felt just as dirty as I had after blowing Gilles when I emerged from that room, covering myself with a robe as both Casey and Chuck saw me scantily dressed. Casey was unflappable, but I saw Chuck doing everything he could not to look at anything but my face. It was but a faint glimmer of hope that my Chuck was still there, however fleeting the glimpse.
Manoosh got close to telling me all about his weapon, but wanted sex before he told me. Casey had to tranq him again. That back and forth happened five times before he called Chuck, looking for his briefcase. They made plans to meet at the Buy More. From what he said to Chuck, the weapon was almost certainly in the briefcase.
Chuck went to open it, but Casey said Langley was sending a hazmat team. Chuck, correctly, stated that we didn't have time to wait. The meet was in 30 minutes. Stalling and there might be problems, suspicions. Chuck overruled Casey and opened his case.
Inside was a red metallic triangular object. Chuck examined it, telling us it wasn't in the Intersect. Casey took it for further analysis.
I closed up the briefcase and told Chuck to just meet Manoosh as planned. Chuck was worried what was going to happen to Manoosh if he no longer had the weapon. I told Chuck to not think about it. Manoosh was playing with fire, and as much compassion as Chuck had, even for a criminal, he couldn't act on it. The spy world had no room for compassion like Chuck's. That was a fact that had been worrying me all along.
Chuck left for the Buy More with the briefcase. After Casey had secured the weapon, he went back in and got Manoosh dressed, carrying him back out to his car that was in the Buy More parking lot. During my rounds of pretend sex with him, Casey had gone back and retrieved his vehicle, part in preparation for this, part to keep the Ring from finding it prematurely. Although we would find out, he hadn't grabbed it fast enough.
How Manoosh rationalized waking up in his car at the Buy More is anyone's guess. Really, has anyone ever drunk so much that they continued to black out after they woke up for the first time? I guess Manoosh didn't drink heavily often, because he didn't question it.
I got dressed and went to work. Casey started to examine the weapon.
On the monitor, I witnessed a conversation between Chuck and Ellie that broke my heart. I guess Ellie found Chuck's baggage claim ticket in his luggage and was wondering why Chuck never told her he went to Paris. Did Chuck borrow Ellie's suitcase? Was Ellie doing his laundry? What was she even doing in Chuck's apartment that she could find it? Either way, Chuck lied to her, telling her he did an install and the customer had offered to let him use his flat and Chuck wanted it to be a surprise for Ellie and Devon.
I saw his face as Ellie hugged him, how hard it was for him to lie to her, still. Casey was right, he was a good liar. Not something to be proud of, even if it was necessary for our job. I hated that he was improving his lying skills because I had taught him how. Casey drove the knife in deeper by telling me so, pointing it out.
Chuck came charging back into Castle after he gave Manoosh his briefcase, desperately looking to help Manoosh from being hurt by the Ring. Casey reminded Chuck that Manoosh was not an innocent.
As Casey was continuing to work while Chuck pleaded with us, the object discharged. Only, it turned out to be ordinary shaving cream. It was a decoy.
Just then, Chuck spotted Manoosh on the Buy More loading dock, via security camera. The Ring had arrived.
What happened next was unbelievable. Manoosh went into his briefcase and took out his sunglasses. He put them on…and then took down four armed men with his bare hands in less than a minute.
Manoosh was an Intersect.
Only, not traditionally, not like Chuck. Manoosh had built a portable, temporary Intersect. Available for upload at will, for brief spurts of time.
It was the most frightening thing imaginable.
Was Chuck still so ready to show mercy to someone who would unleash that upon the world?
Casey brought up the fact that after Chuck had destroyed the 2.0 after downloading it, burnt out components had been stolen from the CIA warehouse. I was in the middle of my mission with Gilles, so I had never heard that, but it made sense. The Ring stole it and found someone who could reverse engineer a new one from the pieces of the old one.
Manoosh had purchased a plane ticket to Dubai, where there was a weapons convention in progress. Chuck had heard Manoosh say he was interested in selling his weapon to the highest bidder. It made sense that would be where he was headed. Sadly, Manoosh was drastically underestimating the Ring.
We had to go to Dubai and stop him.
It was a 15 hour flight. Fortunately for us, we were flying on the CIA's dime, not commercial, so we could fly overnight and sleep. It minimized the jet lag, which could be a problem if we needed to be alert.
We left the airport and went straight to the convention center. We didn't have to search–Manoosh was center stage promoting his new Intersect. He had no idea he was auditioning in front of the Ring as well. We went backstage.
Casey had a perfect opportunity to tranq him, but Chuck said Manoosh was his asset, so he would handle it. Chuck showed himself, told Manoosh the truth, that he was CIA. In Chuck's defense, he used the protection angle, telling Manoosh he was here to keep him from making a terrible mistake. It was true, even if it was only partially true. That was the most effective kind of lie.
Manoosh reacted typically, offended that everything that had happened was a lie. The way Chuck had never reacted to me, even though I lied just as much, just as thoroughly. I had never thought of it like that until seeing it play out in front of me.
He made a run for it, and then the Ring was there. They caught us in no time.
The Ring chained up Chuck, Casey and me. They had Manoosh, but somewhere away from where we were. Casey had a laser pen that he had purchased, even though I specifically told him no shopping. Chuck was able to pull it out of Casey's pocket with his mouth and cut through Casey's handcuffs.
Casey freed us, cut through the door, and then we took off looking for Manoosh. We heard them talking, and we went in with our guns drawn. A few convention attendees heard us though, and came backstage in the middle of the standoff. I saw the Intersect glasses crushed at Manoosh's feet. That was smart on his part, considering it kept him alive. He was the only one who knew how to create the glasses.
Chuck threatened the Ring leader with a laser pen that wasn't actually a laser pen. What struck me, the man with the gun told Chuck that he wasn't capable of killing. Once again, that same dilemma, both worry and relief. Relief that he was still Chuck, worry that Chuck, as he was, wouldn't survive in the spy world. Just like Bryce had known so long ago when he tried to protect Chuck. If only he had just kept the Intersect away from him…
Chuck flashed and threw the knife into the man's hand and a melee started. Guns fired, fists flew, tables and chairs crashed. Chuck must have flashed again, because he hit a man who was about to shoot me with a plate and knocked him out cold.
Casey told Chuck to secure the asset. We went to make sure the location was secured.
Once we were back on the convention floor, it looked like Chuck was going to let Manoosh get away, too soft to be the hardened handler he needed to be. I was almost relieved.
Casey was about to tranq Manoosh before he walked away, but I was shocked when I saw Chuck grab a tranq gun from one of the displays and shoot Manoosh in the back, dropping him to the ground. I could feel the pain Chuck was in from across the room.
We collected Manoosh and took him back to Los Angeles with us. Casey conferred with Beckman, who agreed Manoosh needed to be bunkered. The Ring knew he could build them an Intersect. They would never stop until they found him, and forced him to make them one. I told Chuck, then asked him if he wanted me to do it.
Chuck would have preferred that I did, but he told me he knew he had to do it. I listened to the entire exchange, and it broke my heart.
Chuck told him he couldn't go home, that he needed to be relocated to someplace he would be safe. Betrayed, Manoosh said he thought Chuck was his friend. I heard the anguish behind the words when he spoke them.
"I'm not. I'm a spy."
Chuck watched as the agents who had come to retrieve Manoosh dragged him away as Manoosh pleaded the entire time.
I also heard Casey advise Chuck the best way to handle it was whiskey.
I stayed in Castle after Chuck left.
I saw him follow Casey's advice as he sat alone in his apartment. He gulped the whole glass down in one swig. I imagined the burning inside my chest, fighting tears as I watched it.
Casey asked me if I thought that Chuck would ever have been able to burn an asset.
I answered him with one word, "No," afraid the tenuous nature of my voice would betray how close to crying I was.
"Well, he's turning into a spy. That's a good thing."
"Is it?" I asked after Casey walked away.
A question with no answer.