So it's been six weeks, Gretchen saw when she looked at Voyager's records. That's not as long as I thought. But Vision Quests are weird.

She soon saw that Tom had sent her a message about dinner, and she decided to busy herself in her room until then. She had accumulated some replicator credits during her stay on Asclepius, and she picked out a book, a pulp novel about Captain Proton.

Everything felt strange, and she lost herself in the novel for awhile.

The men came to pick her up for dinner about two hours later. Tom was done with his shift for the day. Harry was going to join them as long as he could, but with his job in Communications he was working overtime and was only on his dinner break.

She had missed Tom and Harry, and felt a rush of fondness as she entered the Mess Hall with them.

"Gretchen!" came a young voice from across the room.

There was a whirl of red hair and a moment later she was being hugged tightly, tiny arms around her waist.

"I was scared you...I was scared you wouldn't come back," said the young girl, voice quiet and breaking.

Naomi...I didn't even think about her while I was gone.

If I'd killed myself...damn.

"It's okay Naomi, I'm back," said Gretchen fondly, a tightness in her throat, brushing her hand through the girl's red hair.

Sam was behind them now, joy on her face, mixed with relief, "Welcome back Gretchen. We've missed you these weeks. We're glad you and the Captain are back safely.

Naomi started to cry, and she refused to let go, arms tightening around Gretchen.

"Now you can do your dance lessons again," said Harry encouragingly, making his face as bright and happy as he could.

"Yeah," said Gretchen, "Yeah, we can," she said genuinely, "I want to do that recital with you!"

I mean it. I want to. Thought Gretchen with some surprise.

They sat with Sam and Naomi for awhile as the mother and daughter finished their dinner. Naomi sat on her lap and talked a mile a minute about her new Flotter holodeck program and how she had shadowed Seven in Astrometrics for a whole morning.

When the two left Harry nodded happily as he watched them go, "I'm so glad. That's the happiest I've seen Naomi in weeks."

Harry and Tom were eating what Neelix had left on his evening off, blue cubes with chunks of furry fruit and metallic looking vegetables. Gretchen had opted for a replicated clear soup with fish, and a hot tea.

"Yeah, it was particularly bad that you were gone this last week Gretchen," said Tom, grimacing, "It finally came out about Naomi's father abandoning the family."

"Everyone knew," said Tom quietly, although Sam and Naomi were gone, "That Sam got that letter last time."

"I didn't," said Harry sharply.

"You don't pay attention," said Tom frowning, "Everyone knew about it. That her Ktarian husband divorced her and disowned Naomi. Sam was looking for the perfect time to tell Naomi…..not that there would ever be one. But it was definitely not last week," he said, rubbing his forehead, "She found out by accident. She was bursting into tears everywhere on the ship. Made us all want to throttle the guy."

If I'd killed myself on that planet Naomi would have lost her father and me at the same time.

Damnit.

I already knew it was an awful choice. But I didn't know how much.

Gretchen felt her eyes grow teary suddenly and her face fell. She looked away quickly.

"Ah, don't cry Gretch," said Harry kindly, "Everyone on Voyager loves Naomi. And you're back now. She'll be okay."

"Yeah," said Gretchen, wiping her eyes and looking back, "I'm sure she will be."

The three of them finished eating, and made light conversation for the rest of their time in the Mess Hall. Then Harry had to get back to his shift. Tom invited Gretchen back to his Quarters.

He replicated her another tea, and himself a coffee as they sat down to play Final Card together.

"So," drawled Tom, looking at her seriously after awhile, "You gonna tell me what happened on the planet? Or even what happened during the stasis? I know you haven't told me everything. Not that you need to, if you don't want to. If it doesn't help. I'm here either way."

"You seem...better," he said looking at her evaluatingly.

Gretchen looked away for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Things kind of came to a head with my mom when you were in stasis," said Gretchen, "It's a very very long story, and includes mind control...but I finally told her what I really thought. Finally had it out with her...after all these years."

Gretchen sighed, as Tom continued to watch, "So I thought maybe I was going to have to leave Voyager...to do something else so I wouldn't be in her shadow...again."

Gretchen looked away, "And I was stuck...really stuck...I didn't know what I wanted...I didn't know how to tell you I might leave."

She glanced at him and then away again quickly and continued, "On the planet I had a Vision Quest...I don't know what to say about the planet itself...I..."

"I came close to not coming back, alright?" said Gretchen, turning her face away again. She did not want to tell him all that had happened, but knew Tom was capable of guessing.

"Those damn Klingon priests tried to back me into a corner," said Gretchen, turning back to him, "They didn't see much worth in my life. It was a closer thing than I would like to admit," said Gretchen looking away again, as she saw realization in Tom's eyes.

"I can't say I'm too surprised they tried something like that," said Tom softly after a moment, "The bastards."

"I would have been really worried," he continued, "Except that the Captain was with you."

"She was asleep after our first few hours there," answered Gretchen.

Tom's eyes widened again, "Damn." He said forcefully, voice infinitely unhappy, "I would have been way more worried if I'd known that. We should've stormed Asclepius," he said, looking away in shame.

Look what you would've put Tom through too. You selfish little bitch. She yelled at herself internally.

Tom's voice echoed in her head, his words about the most recent deaths on Voyager, "No matter how many times.…..you never get used to it….that maybe you could've helped…..that it's just wrong…..that one day a shipmate's, a friend's there and the next they're just…..not."

She sighed deeply, determined not to let guilt get a hold of her again.

"The Vision Quest itself though...it was good," she continued, "It gave me the perspective I needed."

Gretchen felt awkward, but suddenly she caught Tom's eye, and spoke sincerely from the bottom of her heart, "I love you Tom."

"Love you too, Gretch," he said gently, holding her gaze, "I'm glad you're back. That you didn't listen to those losers."

Gretchen gave him a watery but genuine smile.

They sat in companionable silence together for awhile before starting another game.

"So," Tom said finally, after they finished another round of Final Card. "Do you want the big news now? I'm not sure you'll like it, but I'd rather have you find out when you're with me, than when you're alone or something."

Gretchen braced herself and breathed in, "What big news?"