She lowered her scepter as the monster turned into a pile of gray dust to be blown away in the wind. Her breathing was slightly heavier than normal, even after a fight. She tried to hide it from the Sailor Scouts…and from Tuxedo Mask, who had stayed—she was certain—only to make sure the Negamoon monster was vanquished. He'd stayed not because he cared but…just to ensure Sailor Moon was doing her job. He'd stayed only to help out if needed. Perhaps he sort of cared, but if so, he cared just enough to protect her from death. As much as she wanted to believe otherwise, she knew that was the extent of it.
She turned her head to watch him leave, silently, without a word to her. His abandonment was both infuriating and depressing at the same time. It was so emotionally taxing that right when she thought she couldn't put up with him anymore, she did it again next battle…and then the next one after that…and the next…and the next… It made her question if it would ever be possible to get over a man who repeatedly hurt her. All the movies made it out to be so easy…
"Sailor Moon?" one of the Scouts said, drawing her attention away from the familiar sight of Tuxedo Mask's retreating form.
She vaguely registered the voice as Sailor Mars'. When she turned around to see their sympathetic stares, she tried to perk up a bit and smiled.
"You okay?" Mars asked.
"Oh, sure…I believe one day, he'll come back. It was just that dumb fight," she answered. "It must've affected him more than me."
She saw Jupiter and Venus exchange concerned glances from the corner of her eye.
"Even if he doesn't, you don't need him," Mars said.
"I don't need him but I want him." She took a deep breath. "And only him."
There was no way Tuxedo Mask—Darien—could simply ignore their history. They were going to be married back in the Moon Kingdom, they were destined to be together forever.
But…there was also a possibility that…the marriage was doomed to fail, as well. She personally didn't want to believe that but what if Darien suspected it? Still…was a mere suspicion really enough to deter him from giving it a chance? If so then maybe she didn't need him. Maybe she did need to go after somebody else. Somebody who would treat her the way Darien used to.
Of course, she said that now but…
"We should probably go home now anyway," Sailor Jupiter suggested. "You're looking kind of pale."
She shrugged and replied, "Been feeling a little under the weather lately but nothing too bad."
Mostly just bouts of nausea here and there. It hadn't been enough to interfere in her daily activities though so she'd never felt the need to bring it up.
"Are you eating well? Sometimes I get sick when I get too hungry," Venus said.
Sailor Moon began leading the girls to a more hidden location so their identities wouldn't be revealed when they detransformed.
"Actually I've been eating a little more than normal," she belatedly answered.
"You have a strong sweet tooth," Sailor Mercury—now Ami—said, a direct implication that it was from too much junk food.
"Not lately," Serena dismissed. "I really want apples now, with milk to drink."
"So, a smoothie?" Lita asked.
"Not a smoothie, just regular apples and milk."
"Maybe milk as in, a milkshake?"
"I haven't been in the mood for a milkshake in weeks, I think."
The girls dramatically gasped and Serena rolled her eyes.
"You must be getting sick to say that," Mina said.
"Oh!" Ami cried, snapping her fingers as though she'd figured something out. "Perhaps you had a milkshake in the past that hurt your stomach."
"I'm not mental, Ami."
"No, not mental. It's a perfectly normal reaction to bad experiences."
"Are you seriously suggesting a milkshake traumatized me?" Serena drawled.
"Well…when you put it like that it sounds laughable but, I-I suppose…in a way…"
"Ami, I promise you one bad drink won't stop me from going after more. Especially when it's my favorite."
Rei decided in that moment to pipe up as well. "Then why aren't you going after more?"
"Yeah," Lita agreed. "Looking back, you've actually been eating a lot healthier than you used to. I didn't think much of it but it really isn't like you."
"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be encouraging me to eat better?"
"I mean…yeah, I guess. But just in case, maybe a trip to the doctor wouldn't be such a bad idea."
"Might figure out what's causing this whole milkshake crisis."
"I would hardly call it a crisis."
Still, they did have a point in that it was pretty weird for her to be avoiding her favorite foods. Eating more than normal, well, there was a reason they didn't bring that one up. Not exactly something they'd put past her. Actually, not exactly something she'd put past herself.
"Look," she sighed. "Before I get hauled off to the doctor's just to discover there's nothing wrong with me, maybe I can just look this up online. Ami?"
"Yes?"
"You have a computer at home, right? Could I use it just this once? Please?"
Ami looked uncomfortable with the idea at first. It only hit Serena moments later, after Ami's silence was a dead giveaway to everyone else, none of whom wanted to speak about why.
"Uh…with your help, of course," Serena added.
Ami sighed in relief and nodded her head.
"Great!" Serena exclaimed. "Let's go!"
Ami didn't get much of a chance to respond before she pulled the girl's arm and began dragging her in the direction of her home.
"Y-You know, a self-diagnosis really isn't the best idea," Ami panted as they approached the little apartment she lived in. "Sometimes it can make an illness worse."
"There's no illness," she argued. "All I want to do is look up the 'symptoms' and you'll all see it's nothing to worry about. It's probably one of those things that just happens for no reason, you know?"
"What are the 'symptoms' exactly?"
She continued dragging Ami all the way to the elevator and answered, "I'll tell you when we get to the computer."
"As long as you're truthful," Ami sighed. "Don't downplay anything."
Serena scoffed in fake offense. "I would never!"
The elevator door opened and both of them stepped out, Serena knowing the floor but forgetting the unit. This time she had to be led by Ami, who was very obviously thankful to not be yanked around everywhere at the same unnatural speed Serena ran on her daily dash to school.
"Don't hide anything either," Ami said. "Treat this like it's important."
"It's not important to me," Serena confessed. "I'm just doing it to put all of your minds at ease."
They got to Ami's room and the girl booted up her computer.
"It might be nothing, you're right, but what if it's something?"
"Ami, come on…you can't honestly tell me you think not wanting a milkshake means I'm sick. And the nausea is so dull I barely notice it. You're all making this a way bigger deal than it is."
"Normally I would agree with you—perhaps not completely on the nausea—but the more I think about it, the less you've been yourself lately. You're tired after every fight and that would make sense…but only during intense ones. Even a quick one that we could've probably handled ourselves can drain you. The Negamoon isn't after your energy anymore…or anyone else's, really. They're actually spreading theirs around."
"What about that time I fell into some sort of hypnotic coma? Didn't you say that one hypnosis guy was stealing my energy?"
The computer finally finished loading everything and Ami began typing something.
"He was doing that to try to kill you. In reality, the Negamoon is doing the exact opposite of what Queen Beryl was doing. That means these battles aren't from the Negamoon agents stealing your energy. It's something else and not knowing what bothers me."
Serena sighed but relented and let Ami pull up a window.
"Okay," Ami said. "Now let's see what the internet has to say about all this. Serena?"
"Well, you already know about the nausea but make sure you let the internet know that it isn't bad."
"Mild nausea," Ami mumbled, tapping away on the keyboard. "What else?"
"There's the whole milkshake deal. And the apples and milk."
"Right."
Serena waited for her friend to finish typing before continuing, "I guess I've been a little more tired lately but not by much."
"Trouble sleeping?" Ami asked.
"No. Sometimes I'll take a nap but that's it. And I got a little dizzy a few times but it wasn't bad and I didn't faint, and it hasn't happened in a while."
"Mmhm…" the girl mumbled as she continued to type. "Anything else?"
Serena thought on it for a few seconds. "I guess…bathroom breaks are more frequent now? I'm pretty sure it's a sign of healthy kidneys though."
"What else?"
"I gained a few ounces…? But I've been eating a little more too soooo I'm not counting that."
She wasn't too happy to see Ami treating something so simple as a symptom of illness, especially something that could be determined by common sense alone, but remained silent and let her do her thing.
Ami pressed one last key and the internet reloaded a whole plethora of articles and websites. She rested her cheek in the palm of one hand and groaned.
"Are you sure you don't just want to go to a doctor, Serena?" she asked. "This is a lot of information to dig through…"
"I'm positive."
Serena leaned over the back of the seat to watch Ami scroll down, and the interrogation continued. This time Ami would look at an article and seemed to only ask questions to find an answer by process of elimination. Questions like headaches, vomiting, fevers, cramps, swelling, redness…just a whole mess of seemingly random questions. She was skipping over several articles at a time, barely allowing Serena to make out the words.
"Hey, wait, what's that one?" Serena finally asked right as Ami began scrolling down further.
"Which one?"
"Go up again."
Ami scrolled up, once more missing the article.
"No, back down now. You keep passing it."
"Oh!" Ami scrolled back down, this time stopping to let her read the title of the article in question. "This one? I was skipping over these because they aren't applicable to you."
She felt her heart rate bump up a few beats per minute and her face began to flush.
"Is this making you uncomfortable?" Ami asked. "You don't have to worry about this, Serena."
The first word in that headline.
"This…doesn't…apply to you…right, Serena?"
She had to tear her eyes away from the computer screen and nervously chuckled.
"What was all that about a milkshake again?"
"You were with Darien for a while—"
"What kind of girl do you think I am, Ami?!" she snapped.
Her friend immediately threw her hands up in defense but still said, "You're right, you're right! It's just…you can be a bit impulsive sometimes…"
"So what!"
Ami frowned and rubbed the back of her head uncomfortably.
"If nothing happened while you were with Darien, then I think you should see a doctor. The internet is useful but it isn't a substitute for a medical professional."
Serena groaned and rested her head on the back of the chair.
"Hypothetically speaking, if something did happen…what would the odds be?"
"There are a variety of factors to determine that," Ami answered. "I would have to ask some very awkward questions to tell you… H-Hypothetically, of course!"
"Yes, hypothetically, exactly! You can…you can ask your um…hypothetical questions…"
Ami cleared her throat uneasily and opened with, "How…uh…often? Th-That is to say, how many times…" Ami took a quick glance at Serena's stomach. "…within the last three months or so?"
"Let's pretend it was…it… Hypo…thetically…" She felt her face grow hotter and hotter by the minute, a sure sign she knew Ami was picking up on. "Maybe we can skip this question."
She only felt slightly better when she saw Ami's face turn colors too, signifying that she wasn't entirely alone in feeling so embarrassed.
"Um…protection…?"
"For the sake of this conversation…uh…sure, let's say there was…"
"What…kind of protection?"
"The…th-the um…cheap kind that…uh, it's capable of breaking…"
"And…did it break…?"
Serena focused on her thumbs as she twiddled them.
"It—hypothetically it did—on a couple of occasions."
"Oh, I see…hypothetically."
"Are you done now?"
"Oh, um, yes," Ami replied. "I would say the odds are quite low. Still possible but probably something else. Hypothetically."
Her heart finally began to slow down and her face was gradually cooling off, even in the midst of the awkward silence. Even though it was clear that Ami knew, she appreciated her going along with the act anyway instead of outright exposing her. It had only happened a few times—they were both inexperienced and wanted to know what it was like. And at the time, they were in love and she knew Darien would always be there, she knew he was in it for the long haul.
But now he wasn't.
"I would suggest a test for the hypothetical couple," Ami said. "Just for extra assurance."
"Right."
Except she had no idea how she could buy a test without telling her parents that she needed money. And then they would ask why. She could claim to go to the arcade, maybe? Hm.
"Oh, and…before you go…I have a little consolation gift for you," Ami said.
She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a small handful of money, holding it out to Serena with a kind smile.
"Ami, all of that was made up, it was…hypothetical."
"Yes, I know," the girl replied. "This is a consolation for what happened between you and Darien. I know it hurts you to see him. Sorry it isn't a real present. It was sort of a last minute thought."
"This is probably enough to pay for that hypothetical test," Serena commented as she counted it all out. "How…very convenient."
"Oh?" Ami innocently replied. "I suppose it could be used that way too…hypothetically."
There was no way Ami would agree with what she and Darien had done but at least Ami was still willing to offer support. She had no idea how everyone else would react. Luna would flip out for sure. Rei had no filter around her, she could already see a big fight coming. Lita, Artemis, and Mina were all…undecided. For now, at least.
And then there was her family… Her father would lose his mind, her mother would be so disappointed, and Sammi would lose any semblance of respect he had.
And Rini? Who even knew.
"Thanks, Ami…" Serena squeaked, not by choice but because of a lump in her throat that wasn't there last time she spoke.
She mentally checked for tears but thankfully she wasn't about to have a complete breakdown. Yet.
Serena turned around to walk out the door but Ami stopped her just as she reached the doorway.
"Hey," she said softly, "if anything were to happen…you know, hypothetically…I would certainly be there for her…i-if I knew her, of course. And naturally I would never tell anyone else, unless perhaps she told me to, maybe if she was too nervous to do it herself. I know she's just a made up character but she would at least deserve that courtesy, don't you think?"
Serena drew a shaky breath to try to calm herself and answered, "We'll see."
Ami let her go with that but even the small possibility of pregnancy didn't leave her mind. She barely had a choice but to stop at a local store, hoping her parents didn't need anything from there—and thankfully she didn't see them around—to grab a single hypothetical test. Just having that thing on her was nerve-wracking. Just because it was a small possibility didn't mean for one second that it didn't exist, and unless this test was negative she wouldn't be thinking about much else for a long time.