January 5, 1997

I had thought many times over the last several months that Lucinda was an incredible duelist for someone who had originally wanted to devote their life to the study of law. She was so stern that it was hard to imagine her being as creative as she was in this endeavor. I think she could have gone toe to toe with my father if she felt so inclined to act on her offense of his existence during his visit.

"Watch yer feet!"

I leapt back at Tavish's warning to fire a blinding hex at Lucinda as blue sparks crackled and smoked where I had been standing only moments before.

Lucinda ducked down to retaliate with a stunner that beat my shield charm by a fraction of a second to hit me in the stomach and knock me to the ground with a muffled wheeze as the breath left my body like a fleeing rabbit.

"Really, Tavish?"

"I didn't care ta see da girl turn inta a magpie again."

"Magpies are a respectable sort of bird."

"'hey're a menace. Audrey came close ta teachin' 'erself ta fly las' time."

I wheezed quietly on the cold ground again before Tavish revived me with a quick spell. The cold air had made his face red and gave him the appearance of a kind of woodland Santa Claus.

"Alrigh' lass?"

"Yeah. Mostly." I took a deep breath and got to my feet again. "I've got another round in me."

Lucinda looked me up and down, assessing me in her way from the placement of my feet and the positioning of my arms and shoulders. She gave me a nod of approval and moved into an aggressive dueling stance. She peered at me over the edge of her glasses with a wry little smile.

"Quadpot is a foolish sport."

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. A simple sport for the simple minded."

Was she… was she trash talking my favorite sport?

"Quidditch is a spot for civilized wizards, not whatever those colonists invented in a drunken revelry of explosions and boredom."

"Excuse me? Quadpot does not have seven hundred fouls to pull out of a hat, we have thirteen that are all clearly stated!"

Tavish was snickering somewhere to my left.

Lucinda smiled. "Good. Get angry. That's the one thing I have never seen from you. Angry at me for insulting America's silly sport, your brother for being, well, your brother. Try pretending I'm your father. I really don't care. I need you to find that place inside of you where the anger goes and grab hold of it."

Lucinda resumed her stance and I did my best to follow her advice. Annette finding and eating my stash of hidden candy in my bedroom. Pig. Vanessa's cutting comments about my lack of presence or sallow expressions, my crowish, grave, appearance.

My father sniping at me during the fight during his visit to Thornell.

Yeah. I could focus on that, it hurt.

For a moment I could see Jack in front of me over Lucinda's visage. His silver hair, the strong features and the furrowed brow he wore when things were not going the way he wanted or expected. His expression warped as he came around the dining room table in a manner that had never been directed at me before.

Though I could not hold this image of Jack, it was shifting in my mind's eye.

Alex stood before me now, his words echoing in my head. My grief had been easy to set aside, continuing my life after meeting Alex was no different from the time before. Maybe it was not a healthy thing to put things like this in a box? The grief and sadness were eclipsed by the rage of having a dismissive brother. Six years! Six fucking years and he has the gall and the gumption to throw my good, sensible opinions in my face! If I see him again I-I am not sure what I will do! If I have to drag him kicking and screaming back to the reality of the situation then so be it!

But Alex will put up a fight if it comes to that.

And I would be ready for it!

Tavish moved a few more steps away before bellowing "BEGIN!"

My wand arm moved quickly in a jerky motion to try and wipe that smirk off Lucinda's face. "Ventus!"

A strong wind came from the tip of my wand with such force that Lucinda was blown back a couple of feet before tying herself to the earth with roots she summoned from the ground and constructed a pillar of stone to break the force of the high powered wind.

I stepped to the side to get a clear shot at Lucinda, who rebounded quickly by yanking her pillar from the earth with a wave of her wand and throwing it at me to break my concentration, the pillar hit the ground a foot away from me with such force I could feel the earth shake under my feet. Before I could collect myself she was assaulting me with a flock of screaming yellow canaries.

I muttered a counterspell to turn the canaries into harmless feathers that drifted into the grass on a soft cool breeze.

'Ligare Vites!' Conjured vines sprung from the earth and moved towards Lucinda. She retaliated by setting them ablaze with a silent spell of fiery rope.

I dodged the disarming spell Lucinda sent in my direction, then blocked her second attempt with a round shield with an ouroboros around the edge. I flung the shield at her after blocking the spell, the blur of silver distracting Lucinda long enough for me to try and take an advantageous position.

'Fumus!' A thick gray smoke emerged from the tip of my wand covering several feet around me and hiding my from Lucinda's sight.

"Cute," Lucinda spat before a yellow light shot through the gray mass inches from my nose.

I blindly fired out of the smoke, hoping that Lucinda had gotten comfortable and not moved too far. The audible yelp of surprise and a gleeful shout from Tavish calling the duel told me I hit my target.

The smoke was cleared with a wave of my wand and I caught my breath, heaving an exhausted sigh as I walked over to where Tavish was examining the creature that was hopping around in the grass.

"Well. I think I just won."

Crow-Lucinda gave an irate caw in response. I knew she could not understand me, but the satisfaction of finally defeating Lucinda after months of effort entitled me to be a little smug.

Tavish clapped me on the back with a hearty congratulations and a low laugh of his own as Crow-Lucinda hopped around and flapped her useless wings. "Nicely done, lass. Bes' turn 'er back 'fore she learns ta fly."

Oo0Oo0

Half an hour later, I found myself sitting in Lucinda's office, my lessons in Occlumency finally earned. The painting in the corner showed my grandfather, Callum, looking at the two of us with interest before hiding from Lucinda's sharp, hawkish eyes and her fiendish mutterings of his name in an unenthusiastic scolding.

I turned my attention to one of the new books she had acquired. This one was a light, happy sort of novel about an old man running away from his problems and helping others with the library he kept in his suitcase. It did not strike me as something Lucinda would pick up herself, but she appeared to be three-fourths of the way through the book, so she must have been enjoying herself.

I looked back at Lucinda, who was gazing at me with a pensive stare, taking in every aspect of who I was much like she had when I first arrived on her doorstep.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Her voice was crisp and brusk, but that did not phase me anymore. There were bigger things in the world to fear than the tones of an old woman who had my best interests at heart beneath her steely demeanor.

I nodded, "I need to know this. I think I can learn how and that it could protect me from those who would do me harm."

"Have a seat."

I sat in the armchair and rested my feet flat on the floor, my stomach knotted in anticipation.

"Occlumency is the art of shielding the mind from outside forces, to block people away from what you do not want them to see. Though skilled legilimens can tell if something is being protected. My methodology is different."

I nodded in agreement, recalling the books Lucinda had given me to read on the matter. "You use the O'Hagan alternative."

Lucinda smiled, "I was actually a student of his back when I was working for the Ministry. I needed something to fill my time and Oisin needed help to test his theory. I thought the work he was doing sounded very interesting so I sent him a letter asking for an apprenticeship." She paused, a discomfort on her face that I did not associate with Lucinda. "He was killed during You-Know-Who's first uprising. I was the one who found him in the house, the Dark Mark looming over his home just like the papers warned. I made sure his books were published, it seemed to be the right thing to do."

"I'm sure he appreciated that."

"I hope so, if not I'll hear it in the next life." Lucinda chuckled before speaking again. "Now, Oisin's method involves rerouting the invader to senseless memories away from what they want to see and towards false created memories to protect your true reality." Lucinda sat down across from me, her long sleeves like wings before they came to rest like a curtain over the arms of her chair. "I can teach you how to create a safe place in your mind and how to guard it, but this is invasive and painful and can only be taught through actual practice to apply the theories you have read in your books. Everyone has their own style, their own opinions about what keeps them safe from enemies." Lucinda paused, "In teaching you, I will see things that you do not want me too, anything I see will not leave this room. I will take it to my grave."

I buried the more embarrassing parts of my life as deeply inside myself as I could and nodded.

"Ready?" Lucinda took out her wand.

"Yes."

"Legillimens!"

I was four and my parents were fighting, I didn't know what they were fighting about. The yelling was senseless to my ears. It was easy to hide on the staircase and be ignored while Alex patted me on the top of the head to try and take me somewhere else.

I was five and the snake at the zoo was complaining that the mice were not alive to chase and hunt, that the taste of terror was missing from his meals. I pointed and complained on the snake's behalf to my father, because my dad was the greatest man in the world, who made the world better through his work. There was fear in his eyes, something I recognized as a fear of the implication if this thing I said was more than childish whimsy. He cuffed me over the head, a little harder than what would be considered playful and told me that it would upset my mother. Alex put his arm over my shoulder to guide me along to the next exhibit. When I held my father's hand to admire the prairie dogs he squeezed my hand a little harder.

I was six, holding my mom's hand as she died while I wondered where my dad was as Tinsy and the sitter made noise in the hall.

I was suddenly back in Lucinda's office feeling as if I had just been dropped into the chair I knew I had been sitting in for the last… several hours? No. It felt that way, but intellectually I could not have had Lucinda prodding around my mind for more than half an hour… Right?

Lucinda was looking at me with wide eyes.

I braced myself for what I knew was coming next.

"You're a Parselmouth?!"

I winced as I quickly thought of ways to divert this conversation.

Only one thing came to mind.

"Alex is dating a werewolf!"

"WHAT!"

Lucinda clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack, the abject horror in her eyes and Alex and I's societal weirdness was now readily apparent.

"She's… a fascinating human being. I can see why Alex likes her."

"A werewolf?" Lucinda repeated, her voice lowering as the expression of her face became a mix of disgust and horror.

"She's a person. A person with a problem who your great nephew is clearly in love with."

"You've met her," Lucinda breathed.

"She helped me find Alex. He trusts her. More than he does anyone else in his life." I straightened my shoulders and met Lucinda's eyes, ready to lay bare Thalia's humanity. "She's working on a new kind of Wolfsbane potion and in an independent potioneer. She's kind somewhere under the gruff and frankly Lucinda, Thalia is a lot like you. I think you could like her if you gave yourself a chance too!"

Lucinda waved her hand to move the subject along with an irritated noise.

"Your efforts to distract me were clever, but now I want to get back to your affiliation with the serpentine."

"Um… I don't have any control over that, Auntie."

Lucinda peered at me with a hawkish expression, "You understand that this cannot get out? No one can know about this? You'll be dragged through the papers! Doors will slam in your face! These idiots will think you are a Dark Witch!"

I nodded quickly in agreement.

"I mean nobody can know. Your friends. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. The person you marry." She took a deep breath. "Merlin, I'm surprised it's stayed quiet this long."

"It's not something I do as a party trick!" I snapped back, really how dumb did she think I was? I was very aware of what I stood to lose if I outed myself. Everything. In this political climate, I could lose everything I had and everything I was gaining. "Can we try again please?"

Lucinda nodded, coming back on topic. "My apologies." She pointed her wand at me once more. "Ready?"

I took a deep breath and tried to picture the little cottage house and garden I had spent weeks crafting in my mind, before giving my consent to Lucinda.

"Legilimens!"

I was back in the garden. The cold winter air settled over my exposed skin, loose strands of my hair that had escaped my bun were tickling the back of my neck and shoulders. I could see Percy, he was so close I could count the freckles on his face-

No! My elderly aunt does not need to see this.

Something inside of me that sounded like Lucinda chastised me for the echoing thought of even considering her elderly, she was simply an old woman, not decrepit in the way the word elderly made her sound.

Why couldn't I grab a hold of this memory? It was slipping in and out of my grip like a wet fish. Slimy and thrashing!

Why can't I redirect her?

Lucinda was a witch of skill and power, and that grew more adamant with everything she taught me.

By the Twelve, it was awkward at points.

The memory shifted to something more recent that featured a collection of fat dragons and the smokey smell of a pub with oddly dressed No-Majs. I was looking into Percy's eyes and the words about my being worth the risk that twisted my heart with their quiet conviction felt as if they were on a repeat and filling the space in my memories

I was back in the office, the space in front of me feeling empty and cold, devoid of the warmth of Percy from my memory.

"You're dating a Weasley!"

"His name is Percy. You met him last year at Elizabeth's funeral."

Lucinda pinched the bridge of her nose and slumped slightly in her chair, the gesture reminded me so much of Percy that I struggled not to laugh and remain stone faced.

"A Weasley? You're too pretty to be desperate."

"No, I'm not desperate. I happen to like him enough to try."

I was sure Lucinda was developing a headache from every revelation she was pulling from my brain. The way she was pressing her fingers against her temple seemed to imply that I was correct.

"Great. The Weasley family has no money. No connections. I can't remember if your baby bureaucrat is Weasley number two or four, which means he's not getting much from any inheritance, even if the Weasleys were not famously financially famished. And the Averys are going to get my house when I'm dead. I better outlive Tavish, he'll never accept them taking the place and hauling him off the property would break his heart."

Ah, perhaps it was time I stopped biting my tongue on another matter.

"Well, the other choice was Harrow Avery."

Lucinda straightened in her chair, her hands moving from her temple to the arms of her chair with a muffled bang.

"What?"

"Harrow proposed to me during that Ministry Gala and I told him that that was never going to happen."

"Good! Arrogant little weasel! If he wants my house he'll have to wait and if I'm lucky, I'll outlive him out of spite!"

"Percy seems an improvement over that option, right Auntie?"

"I'm withholding judgment. For now."

There was silence in the room now, I could see Lucinda thinking about what she would say next in a careful way. Her hands fidgeted between drumming the arm of the chair and moving into her lap to play with the gold ring on her pinkie finger.

"I have never understood love and romance." Lucinda started with her usual confidence. "I find the ideas strange the way people practice it. The intensity of it and the need to be around each other all the time sounds so exhausting." Lucinda paused. "I've never needed another person in my life, except Tavish of course, but people are so consumed by the idea of it and found me strange for what was so normal to them." She paused again, her expression regretful in a way I was not sure I understood until she spoke again. "Lucina tried to explain why she liked your father so much, she said he was dashing, handsome and intelligent. I thought that all of that was very superficial, that she should take longer than four months to know the man before marrying him. She knew I was more than a bit cold on Jack, and yelled at me for my more… practical advice on the matter."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that lust was not a good way to make those kinds of decisions."

I could see how that would lead to that falling out they had. Lucinda sending ugly vases to them was probably no help, mom knew she did not like Jack, nor approve of the relationship and was expressing it in her prim, Lucinda way.

"Recently, I had a selfish kind of hope at times that you would view such things the way I do, or even just as something that is too dangerous for you right now with your father's position. It's given me the blessing of a simple life where I know to find multiple sources of joy instead of focusing it all on one person like many of my friends did at your age."

"I think there is wisdom in that, it's just closer to some than it is to others."

"You're a sensible sort of girl, like Lucina was to some extent, but she was very much in her own head chasing fantasy, daydreaming about whatever suited her fancy."

That would make sense. Mom held onto the image she had of Jack as long as she could and we all lived with the consequences of it. Though, I was prone to odd imaginings in my own right. It was how I managed to pass the time while looking busy at work.

Lucinda heaved a heavy sigh, "I can't take anymore secrets today."

"That's fair."

"Don't tell Tavish about the English boy." She pointed an accusatory finger at me as a realization seemed to come to her mind at the utterance. "Actually, don't tell him about any boys."

Oo0Oo0

January 6, 1997

Secret dating felt exciting and nerve-wracking in a way that was hard to describe. Perhaps it was the thrill of the secret mixed in with the looks Percy would send me from across the room when we were alone in the front office. In any case, under the various circumstances I found myself in, the time I spent with Percy was among the most interesting.

He was far more familiar with 'muggle London' as he called it then I was and we both agreed it was preferable to being in the boundaries of the wizarding world where we would be seen by people who might know us or crossing paths with Death Eaters causing havoc on a whim.

Percy had offered a walk around a park a few streets over from his flat. It was busy, mostly parents heading to the playground with baby strollers and some smoking teenagers who were on a piece of wood with wheels on it and riding the contraption around the park. Neither of us had any idea what it was called.

In a lot of ways, I think we were both out of our comfort zones.

We made our way over to an empty bench that was against a low wall looking out over the pond. It was quiet and the sounds of screaming children faded to a low rumble somewhere behind us.

"Did you hear about that Ministry raid in Knockturn Alley a couple of nights ago?"

I nodded slowly, knowing exactly what he was referring to because I was there!

"Thirty arrested, one of the Aurors was bitten by an escaped runespoor."

Oh…! I did not hear about that.

"Did they catch it?"

Percy rolled his eyes, "Apparently it escaped into the tunnels under the city. The magical creatures department has sent some people after it. We don't need any muggles finding a three headed snake. The report said it was massive and I don't know how that Auror did not see the snake."

Well. I don't think I thought any of that through.

"How come no one noticed there was a basilisk in a school?"

Percy shot me a peevish expression that made me chuckle.

"No. Nobody needs to see a giant three headed snake." I took in the cool air and the sound of the ducks in front of us, deciding to change the subject slightly. "Is it true that Scrimgeour just threw them all in Azkaban?"

"Yes, apparently they're suspected of dealing in dark arts, illegal dueling and supporting You-Know-Who." He had a look of disgust on his face as he said this and I was uncertain if it was his strong hatred of Death Eaters or just the gray area of magic that Knockturn Alley seemed to deal in. Perhaps it was both. Percy was too straight-laced and righteous to pick one as being worse than the other.

"So the Ministry continues to lock people up without a trial?"

"For public safety," Percy replied, sounding as if he was quoting a party line then an actual opinion. "We don't know anything about these people or those they could be affiliated with."

"You don't really believe that to be the right way to handle something like this? Mass arrests make people uneasy and have a funny tendency to break people's faith in their government. Especially if there are no trials for the accused. It builds a poor relationship and you have to admit that the Ministry does not have a great history in that regard."

Percy exhaled slowly and adjusted his scarf, his breath forming a mist in the cool air. "You're right, but how many trials can we reasonably hold in a short amount of time? We need law enforcement that can be trusted to pursue leads about You-Know-Who and guard the prisoners who remain in Azkaban since the dementors have broken with the Ministry. We don't have the numbers and the war takes priority in Scrimgeour's mind."

"I've never liked how dementors are used here." My voice was low as I moved closer to Percy, who was resting his arm on the back of the bench, his fingers brushing my shoulder. "I think it's cruel to trap someone in their own worst memories and not to mention the kiss."

"You're ignoring MACUSA's problems in that area."

"Compared to a dementor, death seems a merciful option." I retorted quickly as I smoothed out my coat. "Sometimes, people do terrible things against the laws of man and nature and don't deserve even an illusion of life."

"Yes, but what if they turn out to be innocent and an innocent person has been put to death for a crime they never committed in the first place? At least we can take people out of Azkaban."

He had a point, it was a common one made by those back in America who opposed the swift judgements for death.

"That trust your Ministry has put in the dementors has clearly backfired. At least MACUSA is able to do its own dirty work and not trust fickle, miserable creatures like that."

Percy pinched the bridge of his nose to try and chase away a headache. I could feel his fingers on my shoulder moving towards my upper back just under my neck. I shifted closer, this talk of dementors leaving me more chilled than just the evening air.

Did people generally discuss political philosophy during early dating periods? I wasn't sure. Chastity would just giggle and admit to making out through most of the date whenever she started seeing someone new. Gavin talked to me for about a week about Quadpot between classes before that incident in the rose garden. Nothing of substance occurred in discussions with either party.

"The only answer I have is expanding law enforcement, but that takes time that the Ministry doesn't have."

"Which traps the country in a series of short term decisions and benefits with long term consequences."

Percy nodded, looking somehow older than twenty.

"ICW does not look at mass arrests without charges with generosity."

"What's Weathers said about any of this?"

"I didn't think you liked him very much?"

Percy shrugged, "He's a strong personality, not someone I would think about in a diplomatic role."

I was not going to tell Percy that he and Elihu were very similar personalities. That would greatly annoy him and I felt that I should save that for another time.

"I think you already know Elihu's opinion on things from all of those meetings you've been to with the Minister."

Percy's arm came to rest around my shoulders and I closed the last bit of distance by pressing myself against his side.

"Elihu's never been subtle. Why are you curious about his opinions?"

"Because you share his opinions on most things."

"If you want to know what I think then you can just ask."

"I'd like to know what you think."

I bit my lip and put my thoughts in order.

"I think the Ministry has a chance to win the war, Scrimgeour has been relentless about it in many ways, but he will not be the acting Minister after the war. I think he's burning a lot of bridges with the public and will lose a lot of trust to accomplish what he believes needs to be done. I think you know that as well as I do."

The slow nod from Percy confirmed his agreement with my opinion of the matter.

We spent the following hour drifting ideally into lighter discussions of magical places outside of Diagon Alley, a No-Maj museum we should visit if we had the time and the upcoming Quidditch match between Holyhead and Puddlemere. Normal things, though the things that bothered our minds were generally far from what would be considered normal.

Oo0Oo0

Author's Note: I had a false positive on my workplace covid test last week. I'm feeling good. Very relaxing to be home under those conditions.

This author is an only child. I always hope I get these sibling scenes right, especially where Audrey outs Alex's unconventional romantic partner. I hope I got the spirit of sibling deflection in that moment because it made me laugh.

I have also thought of Lucinda as asexual and aromantic for a long time and it's nice to canonize it here. I think she gets a lot of fulfillment from her outside endeavors and her close friendship with Tavish fulfills a lot of her more emotional needs. There's a shortage of ace rep out there in the world, especially outside of scientist stereotypes, so Lucinda breaks the mold a bit in that regard.

And we're brushing on a bit of philosophy in the last half of the chapter here.