A/N: Back again! This site seems to have an annoying issue with notifications and PMs which is sad, but at least the review function is still working, so please continue to drop your thoughts, it really does make a difference for me and I always appreciate them.
So, this chapter was actually meant to be 13K words, but I felt it was too long, so I had to cut it in half, the other half will now become chapter 17. For this chapter, I kind of went out of the realm of what I'm comfortable writing, I love kataang, but in all my years on this site I've made sure to keep away from the explicit side, however with any married couple, I admit it does come with the territory. There's a couple of scenes where I've kinda had to touch on it, but I've tried to restrict it as much as possible. If it's better I take it out, let me know and I'll just update the chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Aang's POV:
As soon as Katara's breathing evens, I lift my head to gaze at her. The steady lull of her heart beat seems to have returned following it's frantic beating after we initially got into this position. 'You still feel that way about me, huh?' I think with a soft smile as I stretch out my arm to tuck back a stray hair strand behind her ear. She doesn't stir. 'She must be really tired, usually light touches like this would wake her up in an instant.' I think to myself as I watch each breath she takes in.
Subconsciously, I find myself leaning forward again, but when I feel her warm breath against my cheek, I snap my head back as blood rushes to my ears. 'What's wrong with me? It's been weeks since I tumbled back into Katara's life, but I never found myself this drawn to her since...' I bite my lip as I continue to watch my former wife.
During the day the stress lines always sit so prominently on her forehead either from the years of working as a doctor or from the trouble I've given her I'm not too sure. But now those lines are close to non-existent. Her lips are partially opened as she inhales and exhales lightly with each breath.
Knowing that Katara now remembers my panicked peck on the lips has me silently cringing. 'I still don't know what I was thinking. Somehow, I thought it would shock her awake, obviously not. But...I missed it. We were always quite shy when it came to that side of our relationship, but...'
My heart skips a beat as heat rises to my cheeks. 'Stop it, Aang.' I chide myself as I pull back, only to remember that Katara's arms are still loosely wrapped around me. I sigh lightly which causes the collar of Katara's nightgown to flutter slightly. I suck my teeth back in. 'Bad idea.' I bite the inside of my cheek. 'I don't think I can stay like this for the rest of the night.'
I deliberate on how to move without waking her, at least into a position that's a little less compromising. I hadn't realised it before, but I'm literally lying on top of her and our faces are way too close. 'If I leaned up ever so slightly, I could literally...' I shake my head hard. 'NO.'
The action causes the woman beneath me to stir and I hold my breath, but other than her right arm dropping to the mattress, she doesn't show any signs of waking. The sigh of relief is subconscious and I cringe when I see her clothes ruffling again. 'Shoot. I'm not strong enough for this.'
Biting my tongue, I slowly shift until I've rolled off my former wife, landing on my side while still facing the waterbender. Except, when I flicker my eyes up, I realise this position is nearly just as bad. My face is inches away from her neck and if she rolled to her side, we'd be a breath away from bumping noses. 'This is why sharing a bed is a bad idea.' I grumble silently. 'And yet...' My eyes soften again when I catch the light peaceful expression on her face.
Subconsciously, I find myself brushing at the hair by her cheek. 'I really do still love you, huh? Part of me had hoped that time would...dampen those feelings, but if anything they're just stronger.' I inhale deeply.
"Too strong." I mutter as I lean unconsciously forward.
"Aang..." I jerk back so fast that I nearly bash my head against the headboard, but when I look down at my former wife's face, her eyes are still closed in sleep. However, the wrinkle lines around her forehead and the slight downturn in her lips has me frowning. 'Another nightmare?' I wonder as I draw closer, feeling unsure on whether to wake her or not.
When my side accidentally presses against hers, the wrinkle lines ease slightly. I bite the inside of my cheek and lightly rest an arm around her in a half hug and her quiet mutterings still almost instantly as she sinks deeper into the bed with a hum. My face cracks into a fond smile. 'Oh jeez, I really do still love you.' I realise as my stomach twists.
I bite the inside of my cheek again as I return my head to the pillow, with my heart racing. 'What am I going to do? I can't protect her. I couldn't even protect myself. But is letting her go really the right thing? Not only because I'd hate to see her move on from me, as selfish as that sounds, but also because it isn't fair on her. I've been gone for 5 years and in all that time, it feels like she's stopped living. But maybe that's more because we didn't get any closure. I walked out and disappeared. At least this time, we could do it right. We could...' My train of thoughts come to an abrupt stop when Katara rolls over onto her side towards me.
My breathing catches when the gap between our faces have closed to a mere inch and her legs are pressed up against mine. I swallow. And then swallow again. Her head shifts and as if by pure instinct, her chin find its way to rest on my shoulder. My lips wobble as I find myself wrapping my arms around her in a hug as I bury my face into her hair.
"I don't want to let you go." My broken whisper is so quiet, but it feels loud in comparison to my pounding chest. 'I... don't know what to do.' I think in despair as I hear the clock ticking from somewhere behind me. I release a shaky sigh as I allow my eyes to close. 'Tomorrow. I'll think of a plan to finally put a stop to Yon Rha. If I can do that, then I won't have to worry about letting Katara go.' I decide as sleep finally catches up with me. I yawn and slowly feel myself drifting off.
The Next Morning:
Katara's POV:
Opening my eyes to bright orange wasn't exactly what I expected first thing in the morning. Nor was being held in my former husband's embrace. 'How did we...' My thoughts trail off as memories of last night floods back in a single wave. I silently groan. 'Oh my gosh, I was the one to trap him in the first place. But...how did we get like this?' My chest is flushed against his and his arms are wrapped securely around me.
With my face being inches away from his slumbering one, I could practically hear each breath he takes. I bite my lip. 'Last night, if I hadn't interrupted him, he would've...' My thoughts trail off as his arm falls to the small of my back, making me shiver. 'I wonder how he'd feel if I just...' I blink, shaking myself out of those thoughts. 'No Katara. I don't think we'll ever be there again. For all my stubbornness, even I know that I've been hammering against a non-relenting wall.'
At those thoughts, I find my arms withdrawing from around the Airbender as I push myself back slightly to create some distance. The action causes my former husband to stir and after a few moments his eyelids flutter open. He blinks once, then twice before jerking back. I ignore the twisting in my chest as I pull him back, to avoid a repeat of his prior tumble out of the bed a couple of days ago.
"Thanks." He breathes out from his tottering position over the edge. I sigh and pull him slightly forward. When I'm sure he's not going to fall, I let go and roll away from him. A beat of silence. "Katara?" Aang queries hesitantly.
"Yeah?" I mutter after a moment of quiet.
"Are you mad or something?" The Airbender asks with a touch of anxiety. I bite the inside of my cheek. 'Should I just brush him off or...?' I chew my lip. I roll onto my back.
"What are we?" I ask as I stare up at the ceiling. Aang splutters at my question and I can feel his gaze boring into me.
"Erm..." He pauses to scratch his head. "Where did that come from?" Aang questions after a few seconds. I glance at him briefly before returning my eyes to the ceiling.
"I need to know. We've been dancing around it for the last few days. Heck, probably since you came back. I don't know where we stand anymore and I just need some clarification." I explain, keeping my voice as steady as possible. The Airbender's lips part slightly as his eyes flicker down to the mattress.
"I don't think that's..." He starts, but I quickly cut him off.
"Just this once. Tell me and I'll drop it completely after this. I want your honest thoughts." I insist as my eyes return to my former husband. He must've felt my gaze on him because he looks up and our eyes lock. He starts biting his lip as he stares at me.
"We're...friends. Just friends and only friends." Aang mutters, somehow he keeps his stormy orbs on me as he says this. I briefly close my eyes at his admission. 'Of course.' I think bitterly. 'Maybe he's lying, maybe he's not. But the fact of the matter is that he doesn't want us to go back to how we were. Stupid of me to think that those near kisses meant he changed his mind.' I silently berate myself.
I feel the mattress sink beneath me and I re-open my eyes to find the Airbender hovering over me with his stormy eyes piercing into me. My breathing catches for a moment.
"Alright. Well, let's get breakfast sorted." I say as I push myself up onto one elbow while avoiding his gaze.
"That's it?" My eyes snap back to him when he says that. I narrow my eyes.
"What do you mean by that?" I say sharply. Instead of moving back like I expected him to, he leans forward which causes my heart to start pounding against my chest.
"I assumed you would argue against it or something." Aang elaborates as his knees move to press into my side. I drop my elbow, allowing myself to flop back to the bed to increase the distance between us.
"If you want us to just be friends, then there's hardly anything I can do about it." I say. "It's not like I've tried persuading you otherwise. At least now I know where we sit." I mutter under my breath.
"So, you've given up?" Aang asks as he quirks his eyebrow while his gaze continues to look down at me. The intensity of his eyes makes me squirm and I have to flicker my eyes to the side.
"I'm not battering against a wall, Aang." I utter tiredly. I catch movement at the corner of my eyes and when I glance back, I find Aang leaning forward. My heart leaps when I realise he's not stopping. My arms shoot out to press against his chest, preventing him from getting any closer. "We're only friends, remember?" I remind strongly. The Airbender scrutinises me for the longest minute before replying.
"If I said we're more, would you still stop me?" His answer stuns me so much that my hands fall from his chest and just like that he continues his descent. I'm only broken out of my shock when I feel something soft press against my lips. My heart lurches in shock.
"A-Aang." I stutter when he leans back an inch, but he descends again without a word and when his lips makes contact once again, I find myself melting into it. My lips part as he deepens the kiss. His lips press almost desperately against mine while my heart continues to pound rapidly against my ribcage.
My brain must've short circuited as I find myself wrapping my arms around him and tugging him forward. The action takes him by surprise as he topples forward on top of me, but we don't break apart. If anything, it brings us closer together as the man rests his forearms by either side of my head.
"A...Aang..." I utter breathlessly when he moves to my neck. As soon as he plants a kiss there, I find myself shoving the Airbender roughly back. I flinch when he rolls off the bed with a bang.
"Ow." He groans, adding to my sudden guilt as I hop off the mattress to kneel beside him on the floor. His hand rubs at his hip bone and I'm instantly worried he fractured it again.
"L-let me see." I say shakily as I pull his hand off to feel the area. He grimaces when I press with a little pressure just under the femur head. I sigh silently, reassured that it's more of a muscular bruise rather than a repeat injury to the bone. I feel Aang's gaze on me as I continue to feel down the bone to double check for any other injuries.
"Katara." He finally says.
"I don't think you've re-fractured anything. It's probably just a bruise." I babble.
"Katara." Aang repeats as I keep my eyes fixed on his leg. I hear him sigh as he takes my hand. I bite the inside of my cheek.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shoved you like that." I mumble.
"Did I scare you?" I freeze at his question. I don't reply. "Katara, look at me. Please?" At his plea, I begrudgingly look up and I find his face pinched with anxiety. My lips part at his expression.
"No of course not. You could never scare me." I say softly. His anxious expression eases in relief, but still his eyebrows are furrowed together in slight confusion.
"Then...?" He trails off, but the unvoiced question is obvious. I hunch my shoulders up.
"You took me by surprise. I mean...we haven't done any of this since...for a long time." I admit with a flush. "And...I don't know where we stand anymore. I didn't want this to be a spur of the moment sort of thing..." I cut myself off as I feel my cheeks burn red. My word vomit has the man laughing and I resist the urge to shoot him down with a glare. "What's so funny?" I grumble.
"You. Usually, you're super confident with this stuff and I was the shy one. Seeing you be self-conscious is a funny surprise." Aang confesses with an amused smile and I find myself returning the smile.
"Well, one of us had to be confident or else we'd never have even married." I tease with a huff. Aang's laughter comes out as a snort.
"I suppose that's true." Aang chuckles as the tips of his ears pinken slightly. I grin at his bashful expression and lean back onto my hands.
"What...what made you even..." I trail off, my prior embarrassment returning with full force. Whatever bravado Aang had to initiate such a bold action seems to have dissipated as his gaze skirts away from mine.
"Ah...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that without asking." He mumbles, but I shake my head.
"That wasn't my question." I point out as I watch a range of expressions fleet across his face. I follow the way he bites his lip and it just makes my own tingle with the reminder of...I silently shake my head.
"I'm being dumb." My heart sinks at his words, but then he continues. "We're not just friends. We're...you're my wife. I was trying to convince myself that this wasn't a good idea, but I...I still need you. I still want you. I've mucked things up a lot. I know I have. But I can't see you being with anyone else. I don't want to let you go." The Airbender admits, his voice becoming more and more strained as he stares at me intently. My lips part in disbelief and after a moment I straighten up.
"Why the sudden change?" I query quietly with furrowed eyebrows. Aang rolls his lower lip between his teeth before replying.
"Last night, I realised I can't return back to being alone again. It's selfish, I know. But I just don't want to be alone anymore. I don't...want to let you go." The Airbender says, his voice breaking as his lips wobble.
I can feel my heart squeezing at his admission and without another thought I launch myself at him. We tumble to the ground, but I don't care. Not even when I feel a twinge of pain in my thigh when his knee digs into my wound.
"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that." I whisper by his ear as I rest my chin on top of his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, so sorry." His voice is muffled as he leans his forehead against my shoulder. I ignore the pricking in my eyes as I just take a moment to enjoy being surrounded by his warmth.
"I'm sorry too." I murmur as I close my eyes for a few moments. After a couple of minutes, I finally start to pull back. The Airbender moves with me and I find myself half seated on his lap.
"Can I kiss you again?" The young avatar asks. My lips part in surprise. The tingling sensation of when he last pressed his mouth against mine still hasn't gone away.
"I don't think..." I trail off as my eyes subconsciously drifts down towards his lips. I blink and my gaze skirts away. "We shouldn't rush into anything. We should get used to being in each other's company first." I mumble as I feel the heat returning back to my cheeks.
"Just one more?" Aang requests with wide innocent eyes. I open my mouth to argue but I find myself nodding my head numbly.
"I guess it couldn't hurt-" I start, but he doesn't let me finish as his lips press into mine again. My heart does a skip as I lean into him and my eyes flutter to a close.
His prior kiss had me so befuddled and shocked that I didn't really recognise what was happening, but now that I was expecting it, I can actually pay attention to how it makes me feel and spirits I didn't realise I had missed this that much.
It's Aang that breaks us apart this time and I find myself biting the inside of my cheek to stifle my whine of dissatisfaction. The Airbender however, scans my face and lets out a chortle.
"Someone was enjoying themselves." He teases with a twinkle in his eyes. I grunt and start to move off of him, but his hand encircles my wrist, keeping me in place.
"Can we stay like this for a moment more?" Aang asks meekly. I blink twice before shifting slowly back.
"I suppose, but..." I'm cut off by a bang. Both our eyes widen as we glance at each other. Within moments we're up on our feet as Aang motions for silence with his finger. I nod and follow behind him as we turn a corner. I feel the heat before I see it and I instantly duck just as Aang whips his leg out to return the fire back to its source.
"Oof." I hear a masculine voice. I frown and straighten up while drawing a stream of water from a nearby tap. My hands shake slightly at how easy it was to fall back into bending. 'It's as if I never stopped.' I close my eyes briefly to calm my nerves and when I re-open my eyes I find Aang lunging forward. It takes our attacker by surprise as he bends a wave of fire at us.
I slip the stream of water behind the Airbender who deals with the fire and I wrap it around the firebender's ankle. The unknown man notices a second too late as I jerk the whip forward, pushing the man off balance as he tumbles to the ground with a thud. Aang immediately earth bends him to the ground before walking swiftly to the firebender.
"Who are you?" The Airbender thunders as the man let's out a groan.
"Jeez, I thought it was just you here. But at least the boss will be happy to know that you two are getting along." The attacker eyes my face before grinning. "Getting along very well it seems." He adds with a smirk. I flush and my hand automatically goes to my lips. He laughs at my behaviour and I glower at him.
"So what, you came here to kill Aang on Yon Rha's behalf?" I demand as I take a step forward. Aang looks weary as I draw closer, but he doesn't say anything for which I'm grateful for. The firebender's smirk doesn't waver.
"Changing the subject I see. You don't have to; I've always been invested in your relationship." The man jokes. I narrow my eyes at him.
"Answer the question." I utter stiffly. He shrugs when I don't take the bait. Instead, he rests his head against the floor.
"Not kill him, but rough him up a bit. It was a surprise to see you here. My intel said you went back with your brother." He explains with another shrug. My jaws tighten at the mention of Sokka and guilt eats me up when I realise I haven't thought about the ponytailed man at all today.
"What's Yon Rha planning?" I demand, but the man just shrugs.
"The guy wouldn't tell me something like that, I'm just hired help." The intruder explains before opening his mouth again. "Though for a pair of smart people, I'd have thought you'd be more careful at who you let into your inner circle." He voices nonchalantly. I narrow my eyes at him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I question with an edge to my tone. The man grins.
"Sorry, but that's my cue to leave, was nice chatting to you both. Take care of your wife, Airbender." The firebender utters pleasantly as he jumps off the ground with ease. I whip out some water from a nearby vase, but the man lashes out with a wave of fire. Aang dissipates it quickly, but the man has already vanished. I curse under my breath as I run around the corner, only to find it empty and sullenly I return the water back to the vase.
"We didn't get any information out of him." I mutter as I kick at the ground in frustration. Aang hums distractedly back, causing me to look up at him. "What?" I ask as I watch him rub his chin in thought.
"I think he left us a few bread crumbs to work with." The Airbender murmurs in thought. I blink twice and tilt my head to the side.
"And what would they be?" I ask while crossing my arms over my chest. The young Avatar purses his lips.
"He was lying when he said that he didn't expect you to be here. He knew. And he knew what we..." Aang pauses to cough as his face pinkens slightly. "...he must've been watching us before entering. He also tipped us off about someone in our inner circle being a mole. The question now, is who. No one knew you were staying here except Toph, your Dad and Zuko." At Aang's explanation, my eyebrows furrow.
"If you're implying any of them are the mole then you must've hit your head when you fell out of bed." I mutter in disdain. My former...or current husband sighs.
"Katara, I'm being pragmatic. Toph couldn't possibly be involved because of who she is and neither could Zuko as he's as much of a victim as everyone else. Your Da..." I cut him off with a harsh glower.
"I thought we've already been over this. My Dad would never get involved with that monster and you already proved your theory wrong when you detected him for any lies." I point out as Aang rocks back on the ball of his heels.
"But thinking back to it now, your Dad didn't outright deny it. He dodged the question with one of his own so of course I wouldn't pick up on any lies if he never actually said one." The young Avatar clarifies and I hate that he does have a point. My Dad never said he didn't have any dealings with You Rha, he just answered with a rhetorical question back. I bite my lip before shaking my head.
"Be that as it may, I know my Dad. He wouldn't do something like that." I insist stubbornly. Aang squints as me before shrugging.
"Well, I wouldn't know who else to pick. Azula is a possibility, but she's kept mostly to herself over the years and hates her dad nearly as much as Zuko. She wouldn't gain anything by helping Yon Rha fulfil her father's vision." The Airbender voices aloud. I chew my lip.
"I don't know Aang. I just...you can't really expect me to agree with you about my Dad." I utter with a sigh as I lean against the closest wall to me. The young man's lips part before they clamp shut.
"I suppose not." He mumbles as his eyes drop to the ground. I bite the inside of my cheek.
"Why are you so fixated on my Dad anyway?" I ask with furrowed eyebrows. I watch him swallow before turning to look away.
"I'm not fixated on him; he just ticks the boxes." Aang argues weakly, but I shake my head.
"You've known him for years. Do you think he'd do something like help Yon Rha?" I press which prompts a sigh from the Airbender.
"I'd like to say no, but desperate people do desperate things." My husband utters with a touch of sadness. His words have me immediately thinking of what he said yesterday. About not wanting to be around anymore. I inhale deeply and briefly close my eyes.
"Well, he's with Sokka now so we can't really ask him now." I mutter as I massage my forehead. "I'm... going to heat up some breakfast and we can think about this over some food." I utter as I brush past him to go to the kitchen.
His sigh ruffles my clothes, but I don't pause or look back. 'How did we go from being so close to being so far in a matter of moments?' I wonder with a bitter pang. A part of me wonders if I'm making a mistake. 'Are we really good for each other? That intimacy we shared, was it rekindling an old love or was it simply trying to fulfil an unmet need?' I drag a hand over my face. 'Get it together Katara.' I mutter to myself as I reach for the stew we made yesterday.
20 Minutes Later:
Breakfast is a quiet affair and we don't discuss anything really. It's only when I get up to clear the plates does the Airbender speak up.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset." Aang mumbles as he rests his knife on the plate. I exhale softly before shaking my head.
"No, you're right. It's wiser to be cautious of everyone, even people we know, but..." I trail off with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Let's just figure out what we're doing. Realistically, we can't stay here. Yon Rha already knows we're here and it won't be long until he sends someone else here or worse yet, come himself. We need a plan." I say as I pop my plate in the kitchen while Aang shakes his head.
"Yon Rha won't come here, not when we're expecting him. The thing is, I don't know where we go from here. Someone is obviously spying on us." The Airbender mutters as he pinches the bridge of his nose. I purse my lips in thought and cross the room to the nearest window and peer out. My eyes dart around, but nothing looks suspicious.
"We should board up the windows." I say as I turn to look for some cardboard that I saw the day before. Aang blinks as he rises from his chair.
"What good would that do?" He asks with a quirked eyebrow. I roll my eyes.
"I was thinking it would be a good idea if we had an escape hutch under the house in case anything happens and we can't do that if we're worried about someone watching us." I explain as I hoist a few cardboards over my shoulder. I wince as my skin over my abdomen pulls at the motion. Aang is by my side in moments as he reaches for the cardboard in my hands.
"Careful." He soothes as I roll my eyes again.
"Don't worry." I say as I bat his hand away. "Come on, you can meld these to the windows." I add once I've placed one over the window.
"Where will we even make an underground hutch?" The Airbender queries with confusion as he fire bends the cardboard in place.
"The kitchen is probably the best bet, it's nearby and there's no windows or doors to be broken into." I suggest as the man nods his head.
"Right." He answers.
It takes us 30 minutes to get through every window and when we do, I find myself leaning heavily against the wall beside the window in our shared bedroom.
"I never realised how many windows this place has." I mumble as I wipe the sweat off my forehead. When I do, I feel a pair of eyes on me, but when I look to the side, Aang is already turning away.
"Yeah." My husband mutters. I blink twice and push myself off the wall.
"What?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. Aang looks at me briefly before his gaze darts elsewhere.
"Nothing." He replies quickly. Too quickly. I squint up at him.
"Aang, if you want us to work, you can't keep doing this." I mutter as I turn away from him. I hear him inhale sharply as he shifts back towards me.
"Doing what?" He echoes back, but I can tell he already knows the answer to that. I exhale heavily as I turn back towards him.
"You can't keep hiding things and lying to me. You were open once before, so I know you can do it." I remind as I rest a hand on top of the bed's headboard. Aang stills at my words and briefly screws his eyes tightly shut before reopening them.
"Right. Of course. Sorry." The young Avatar voices haltingly as he bows his head in apology. I release a light sigh and wave my hand.
"Forget it. Come on, let's go downstairs and..." I don't get the chance to finish my sentence as Aang moves so quickly in front of me. "What are you..." I start, but his head dips down as his hand presses against the wall beside me. His eyes turn inward in focus before he finally shakes his head to himself. Throughout, he doesn't seem to realise how he's effectively pinned me to the wall until I clear my throat. He blinks and looks down at me before jumping a metre back, only to bang his head against the windowsill.
"Ouch." He mutters as he rubs the back of his skull. I take a cautious step forward in confusion.
"What was that about?" I ask with a hand on my hip. The Airbender's lips part as he gives me a sheepish glance.
"I thought I felt some trembles down below, but it must've been my imagination." Aang explains as he straightens up. I scrutinise him for any signs of lies as his eyebrow twitches. I narrow my eyes at him.
"Are you sure?" I press, as be lifts one shoulder up in half shrug.
"Well, if there were it's gone now." The Airbender clarifies as I move to pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Aang, I'm tired of this." I mutter. I watch him bite his bottom lip.
"Sorry, it just slipped." He mumbles in return as he starts rubbing the back of his neck. I shake my head in frustration.
"No. You keep saying that, but you aren't even trying to change." I voice in frustration as I move my hand to massage my forehead as I feel the beginnings of a headache coming on.
"Katara..." Aang trails off as he lifts his arm up, but I take a step back from him.
"I told you that if you want us to work, you have to be honest with me." I add as he watches me helplessly.
"I know, you're right. But...it's hard, Katara. I've been hiding who I am and lying since my parents died. Trying to break that habit all of a sudden is going to take time." Aang insists as he takes a step towards me. I bite my lip and turn my head away from him. 'He rarely mentions his parents, but whenever he did it always made my heart trip over itself as I recall the story he told me about what happened to them when we first met all those years ago.' I inhale deeply.
"That isn't true, you were honest with me when we first..." I start, but Aang is quick to cut me off.
"Katara, I didn't tell you who I was when we first met either. I lied about it. I hid the fact that your mother was killed because of me for months. I lied about who my guardian was. I lied when I said the council weren't making me go on dangerous missions when we were together. I lied about how long I lost my memories for. They were back a few days later, except for the actual accident. I didn't tell you that it was Yue and Jet who found me and brought me to the hospital. Heck, I haven't even told you that your nurse friend has been my informant and feeding me information about you ever since I left. I guess...I've always been a liar." Aang lists off with each step he takes towards me.
The first three I knew about. The fourth is certainly a surprise, but I suppose I should've expected it, him being the Avatar and all. Lying about when he got his memories back is certainly a bitter blow and I almost feel sick just thinking about it. I haven't talked to Yue in a while because of how busy our schedules have been, so her not mentioning it doesn't bother me as much as maybe it should. No. It's the last reveal that has me backing away from the man.
"Kiki?" I breathe out unbidden with appalled eyes. Aang averts his eyes as he stops in his tracks.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to keep tabs on you and she was always the closest to you. I didn't know who else to ask." The Airbender explains as he stretches his arm out, but I slap his hand away from me and grit my teeth.
"You could've checked in on me yourself instead of using one of my friends." I growl back as my hands clench into fists by my sides. 'It makes a lot more sense now. Why Kiki insisted I talked with Aang. And why she was happy not to tell anyone that I was treating my husband. It's because she knew all along.' The betrayal cuts me deeper than I thought it would as I spin on my heels to give the young Avatar my back.
"You know I couldn't do that." Aang protests. The floorboards creak as he takes another step towards me, but I twist my head and throw him a scalding glare.
"You keep saying that and yet you had no problems in doing things behind my back!" I yell. The Airbender clenches his jaws as he leans back slightly.
"I did one thing behind your back. One!" Aang argues, but if anything that serves to make me angrier.
"All your lying is just another way in going behind my back! You're right, you are a liar!" I lash back furiously. My husband parts his lips, but no words escape him for several moments as he clenches his own hands to match mine.
"Good, I'm glad we've agreed on something!" Aang shouts back. I inhale deeply while closing my eyes in an effort to dampen my temper, but it's no good. 'How can you ask someone to change when they've fundamentally been the same way their entire lives? It's asking for the impossible.' I realise with a growing ache in my stomach.
"This was a mistake." I mutter to myself, but the Airbender picks it up as clear as day. His body stiffens as he eyes me wearily.
"What was?" Aang queries cautiously. I release a bitter laugh.
"Thinking that you could change something that's so engrained into your personality. Thinking that we could work things out. Thinking that I could...accept this part of you. Thinking that loving you would be...enough. It isn't enough. Spirits, I'm a fool." I murmur as my chest heaves with pain and hurt. Aang's eyes widen as he steps forward, but I jerk away from him.
"Wait, that isn't true! I can change, I just need time." My husband insists with pleading eyes. I turn my head to the side, unable to stand gazing at those desperate orbs of his.
"You aren't trying Aang!" I bellow which makes the man freeze in his spot. "You... haven't been trying in a long time." My voice drops to a wretched whisper as tears prick the backs of my eyes. I hear him swallow audibly as he shakes his head wordlessly. "And why would you continue to pretend that you lost your memories when they came back. That's messed up, even for you." I add as my throat constricts at how badly he played me. His face crumples at my words.
"It was stupid I know, I just wanted to pretend to go back to how things used to be even if it was for a few short days. Before I had to give you the divorce papers and leave again." Aang admits shamefully. Nausea washes over me again and I'm thankful that my breakfast miraculously doesn't make a comeback.
"I don't know how you could think that was ok, let alone go with it." I grit back, because quite frankly if I wasn't angry, I'd be sinking into a puddle of dark despair right now.
"Katara, I'm...I'm br-" He cuts himself off before staring at his feet.
I furrow my eyebrows, wondering what he was about to say and why he chose not to voice it. Instead, he heaves a loud sigh.
"I guess you're right. All I've been giving you is empty promises and empty words." Aang's voice is strangled as he speaks. I bite the inside of my cheek. "This whole thing was a mistake. A terrible mistake. We should've never got married or got together or heck we should never have met. I was supposed to be graduated before you even entered university. We were never supposed to meet. I was never supposed to know you or befriend you or fall in love with you. It was all so wrong and avoidable. If I had just ignored you that first time-" Aang's rambles are crudely cut off by me.
I couldn't help it. I slapped him. Hard across the cheek. Pink immediately blossoms from where my palm struck him across the face. But my vision quickly blurs with tears so I don't register more than shock in his face. In the 11 years I've known the man, I've never struck him. But now in the last 24 hours I've managed to do it twice. At least the first time it felt reasonable. Talking about suicide is a scary thing for any person to hear.
However, slapping him this time is probably very unjustified and very undignified for someone who's meant to bring healing to others, not pain. I swallow in an attempt to push down the lump wedged in my throat, but it doesn't go. I swallow again. And again. But the ball of emotions is too large for me to swallow away.
"Even if things don't work out between us, I'd never, never regret meeting you. Knowing that you regret our whole story together, is..." I trail off as I shake my head. Tears finally escape its confines. "I don't know why I thought this would work. I should just go back to help my brother." I mutter as I move away from him and descend the stairs.
"I'm sorry." I hear him whisper as I hear him hitting the floor with a thud. My feet are shaky as I reach the last step and I rest my forehead against the banister as my head pounds with a headache and my eyes with more tears. 'Stupid. I really thought we could fix things. I really thought he'd at least change for me.' My breathing catches as my knees buckle and I sink to the ground.
"Why did I have to love him?" I whisper to myself as I press my forehead into the ground with a tortured cry.
A/N: So lots of fluff, some intimacy and then we had with our healthy dose of angst XD I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter will continue with the angst and we'll continue with the rest of the plot of the story because we're nearing the end of this segment of the story.
So, good news! I've finished writing the remaining chapters for this segment of the story, so it will end at chapter 20. Then the sequel will be titled 'Painful Future' to keep it consistent with the previous titles of this AU. Regarding this story, I'm not sure whether I should post more regularly considering the notification issue with the site, but I guess it depends if I get to hear from you guys or not because you guys are always my biggest support and motivation. Thank you for everything guys and see you in prob a couple of weeks?
27/4/24