Naruto Uzumaki and Shada Aru stood on the roof of the Hokage tower, preparing to get their pictures taken for their ninja identification papers. Naruto was in the seat in front of the camera as he would go first while Shada would go next.
"Listen kid," the old photographer said to Naruto. "You sure you want me to take your picture like that?"
"Just do it," Shada said while trying not to laugh. "There's no way you'll be able to convince Naruto to change his mind."
"Alright, but don't blame me later," the photographer said.
When the picture was taken, Shada burst out laughing. In the photo, Naruto's face and hands were covered in white paint with red swirls. He held one hand out to the camera and bore a mean look on his face. His hair even had gel in it and was hand spiked, which Shada didn't quite get since Naruto's hair was spikey enough on its own.
-o-
Shada and Naruto both sat in chairs in a room before the Hokage and a civilian assistant. They were both presenting their photos. Shada had taken a simple photo by just looking at the camera and smiling, so his photo had passed the Hokage's inspection just fine.
Naruto's photo was still in the Hokage's hand, being stared at. Naruto just rubbed his head bashfully.
The Hokage groaned while Shada tried not to laugh. Naruto failed to notice either of these bad signs and began to explain.
"At first, ya know, I couldn't figure out exactly how to do it," he said with a cheerful tone. "It took me, like, three hours to work it out and stuff. But finally, I got it. Like, an art project on my face, only cooler."
Naruto then chuckled a bit and allowed his pride to show on his face. Shada looked at the Hokage with an expectant smile.
"Your move, old man."
"Take it again," the Third said sternly.
"Hm?" Naruto responded with confusion on his face… then the Hokage's words really sank in.
"Here we go," Bakuda said with happy anticipation as Naruto's look of confusion became one of anger. "Hiruzen Sarutobi has made the first move."
"No way!" Naruto shouted angrily.
"And Naruto Uzumaki gives it right back with astonishing obstinance, as is his usual strategy."
"We can't accept this photo," the Hokage stated.
"It seems that Hiruzen has decided to fight fire with fire today."
"Yeah!?" Naruto shouted, leaning forward on the edge of his seat. "Well, I'm not doing it again!"
"Oh, but Naruto refuses to give an inch here!"
The two stared each other down for a full thirty seconds before either one said anything else.
"It seems the two are both taking a bit of a breather."
"Both opponents have already traded blows and are now gauging their opponent's capabilities. Each of them should be taking this opportunity to come up with a strategy or two that can win them this match."
"Hiruzen still holds the advantage as the authority figure here."
"But will that really help him win against someone as stubborn as Naruto?"
Suddenly, Naruto threw up a hand sign, and Shada recognized the Jutsu he was about to use.
"Transform!" he shouted, turning into a nude blond girl with whisker marks, standing in an enticing pose.
Naruto let out a feminine giggle before saying, "Pretty please, Lord Hokage?"
The Hokage stared in shock for a moment before his nose erupted in blood and his chair fell back.
"Hiruzen is down! Hiruzen is down!"
"Oh my God, what a blow! He may not recover from this, ladies and gentlemen! Naruto Uzumaki may have just won this match!"
Naruto transformed back with a surprised look on his face while the Hokage twitched on the floor. Clearly, he hadn't been expecting a reaction of that degree.
After Naruto and Hiruzen had both taken their seats once more, Hiruzen began wiping the blood away with a handkerchief.
"That's the Sexy Jutsu, you say?" Hiruzen asked. "Very tricky; much too tricky! Don't do it again!"
Naruto rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously.
"And where is your headband, Naruto?" Hiruzen asked. "You're supposed to be wearing it!"
"Oh, I'm not putting it on until the orientation," he responded, fiddling with his goggles now. "I don't wanna mess it up."
"So, you want your headband nice," the Hokage continued, "but your photo, which is supposed to identify you, makes you look like a clown! It's for ninja training and missions, which is the key to your future."
He then picked the picture back up off of his desk.
"Look at this picture; you can't even tell who it is!" he said.
"Well fine!" Naruto shouted. "How am I supposed to know all this complicated stuff, anyway!?"
"By paying attention," Shada said with a smirk.
"Hey, who's side are you on here!?" Naruto rounded on Shada.
"Just stating the facts," Shada responded with a laugh.
Just then, the sound of someone handling a weapon came into the room. It was faint, but every ninja in the room heard it and looked at the door just before it slammed open.
"Old man!" a little kid shouted. "I challenge you!"
The boy wore a strange gray headpiece with an orange dot on the left side and a frowny face on the right side. It covered almost all of his hair, but allowed a long, messy, dark brown ponytail to sprout out of the back. He also had a very long blue scarf, a yellow shirt with a red Hidden Leaf crest on the front, and gray shorts. A shuriken was in his hand.
The boy ran towards the Hokage while shouting, "I'm going to defeat you and become the Fifth Hokage!"
Just then, the boy tripped over nothing, slamming face first into the floor.
"Um… okay?" Shada said while Naruto groaned in embarrassment for the kid and Hiruzen hid his face under his Hokage hat.
Just then, a man in a navy-blue ninja suit with a red swirl on each arm ran into the room and looked upon the scene from the doorway. He wore round sunglasses and had shortly trimmed black hair that barely showed thanks to his navy-blue bandana with a Leaf Village forehead protector sewn into the front, which is exactly what Shada had done with his black bandana.
"Something tripped me!" the kid shouted as he slowly got up from the floor.
The guy at the door began gasping repeatedly as he looked around the room before he finally asked, "Are you okay, Honorable Grandson?"
"Honorable Grandson?" Shada asked, confused about what kind of title that was supposed to be.
"And by the way," the strange man said while adjusting his sunglasses. "There's nothing here for you to trip on; it's pretty flat."
Just then, the kid noticed Shada and Naruto, and he gave them both an angry look. Then the man looked over to see what he was glaring at, only to gain a surprised and then angry expression when he noticed Naruto.
"Alright, you're the one who tripped me, aren't you!?" the kid shouted, walking over and angrily jamming a finger in Shada's face.
This irked Shade, so he stood up and looked down at the kid with a hint of aggression.
"And why accuse me, runt?" Shada asked coldly.
"Because you're the most suspicious looking one here!" the kid shouted back.
Just then, Naruto shot up, grabbed the kid by his shirt, and lifted him up to his eye level, which was still about five inches below Shada's, but still quite a few inches off the ground for the kid.
"You tripped over your own feet, dork, so watch who you're talking to!" Naruto shouted.
"Hey, you!" the guy in glasses suddenly shouted. "Take your hands off of him, right now! He's the honorable grandson of the honorable Third Hokage!"
"Hm?" was Naruto's response.
"This is your grandson, Gramps?" Shada asked, looking over to the Hokage.
The Third remained silent and still.
"Well?" the kid suddenly challenged with a smirk. "What's the matter!? Weren't you two gonna do something? Afraid cause the Third Hokage is my grandfather?"
That pissed Shada off, simply seeing how arrogant the kid was. From what he could tell, Naruto felt the same.
"I don't care if he's your grandmother!" Naruto suddenly shouted.
"And neither do I!" Shada shouted angrily.
Naruto released him and Shada immediately hit him in the gut, causing him to go a bit further up into the air from the force of the blow before Naruto sent him back to the floor by punching him across the top of the head.
"Believe it!" Naruto shouted as the kid hit the floor and stayed there, now unconscious.
The ninja that had followed the boy in looked like he was having a heart attack.
-o-
Naruto and Shada walked down the street, heading towards the Ichiraku Ramen noodle shop. Ever since Iruka had taken them both, Shada had gotten hooked. The ramen was just too good for him to resist. And he even got Hinata to come along sometimes, though that wasn't happening today.
"You noticed it, right?" Shada suddenly asked, referring to the kid from the Hokage's office who was currently following Naruto and himself.
"Mhm," Naruto responded with a nod.
Shada and Naruto both quickly turned around to see a balled up blanket the same color as the dirt road sitting in the middle of the street with two feet coming out of the bottom. Shada walked forward and stomped on it.
"Ow!"
The kid threw the blanket off and stood up with a smile.
"Saw through my disguise, huh?" he asked cheerfully. "The rumors about you two are true; you're good!"
"Rumors?" Shada asked. "You expect me to believe that there are actual rumors about how we're both skilled? Oh, please."
"Alright!" the kid said, ignoring every word from Shada's mouth. "I'll be your apprentice and you two will be my trainers!"
Naruto and Shada both looked at each other, blinked a few times, looked back at the kid… and began laughing.
"Hey, don't laugh at me!" the kid shouted angrily. "I want to learn the Sexy Jutsu you used on Grandpa Hokage!"
"Quit kidding around, runt," Shada said once both he and Naruto stopped laughing.
"I'm not kidding!" the kid said desperately. "I need a new trainer!"
He looked at Naruto and said, "Please, Boss?" then turned to Shada and said, "Please, Sensei?"
"Boss?" Naruto asked, gaining a gleam in his eye.
"Sensei?" Shada asked, noticing Naruto's gleam and taking it as a bad sign.
"Yeah!" the kid said, first pointing to Naruto, then Shada as he said, "Because you're the boss and you're the sensei!"
"How can one be in charge while the other is the teacher?"
"Who the hell knows?"
"Well…" Naruto began while rubbing the back of his head.
"No!"
"How can I refuse?"
"You stupid son-of-a-"
"Just help the kid out, Shada. Can't hurt, can it?"
"...Whatever."
"Alright, I'm in too," Shada agreed. "The name's Shada Aru."
"Oh, and I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto shouted happily.
"So what's your name?" Shada asked.
"Konohamaru!" the kid shouted happily.
-o-
"Listen," Naruto said as the three walked down the street together. "You wanna be a master ninja? Then believe it! You gotta learn to control your catra."
"His what?" Shada asked.
"His catra!" Naruto said, a little louder this time.
"Uh, boss?" Konohamaru asked, getting Naruto's attention. "I, uh, think you're talking about chakra."
"Oh, uh, right!" Naruto said. "I was just testing you. Good job!"
"Alright!" Konohamaru shouted while Shada rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"This kid is so gullible."
"Listen," Naruto suddenly said, "I'll explain what chakra is-"
"Chakra is the elemental life energy that is used to perform Jutsu," Konohamaru said, cutting him off.
"Heh!?" Naruto cried in surprise.
"The ninja arts combine physical energy from each cell in the body with mystical energy, which is intensified through training and experience. When these two energies mix, they form chakra, which can be manipulated, most easily through the use of special hand signs, allowing a ninja to perform advanced Jutsu."
Shada looked down in surprise at the kid's knowledge… only to see him reading from a scroll.
"Know-it-all!" Naruto shouted. "You were just reading that whole thing!"
-o-
"Yo," Naruto said. "You can blab all you want about how to do ninja techniques, but it really comes down to one thing."
"What is it?" Konohamaru asked seriously.
"Just plain hard work and guts," Naruto stated matter-of-factly.
"That's two things, but for once, Naruto's right," Shada said. "Even those with natural talent can only go so far unless they put in enough effort. If you can give it all you've got and fight tooth and nail, then you can become the strongest. That goes for both training and real missions."
"I'm with you!" Konohamaru shouted.
"Alright, I'm gonna throw some really big challenges at you now," Naruto said. "Are you ready?"
"I'm ready, Boss!" Konohamaru shouted.
"Good," Naruto stated happily. "Then let's do it; show me a transformation."
"Huh?" Konohamaru asked.
"Transform into me," Shada said. "That way we can start with the body type you already have; lean male. Just bigger."
"Believe it," Naruto said. "Go on; show us what you can do, and we'll take you to the next level."
"Oh, alright," Konohamaru said with a nervous look before throwing up a hand sign and building up chakra. "Transform!"
Shada immediately noticed a problem with the boy's chakra, even before the fat, big-lipped, one-eyed, pale-skinned copy of himself appeared before him.
"Hm," Shada hummed thoughtfully. "Your chakra control was good at first, but it seems you have a hard time maintaining your focus towards the end. Understandable, given your age."
Konohamaru transformed back and shouted, "And what's that supposed to mean!?"
"It means that younger people have more trouble with focus," Shada said while lightly bopping Konohamaru on the head. "Don't get offended so easily; it's a simple fact that the younger you are, the more likely you are to be distracted. It's like that for everyone. That goes for us too."
Konohamaru just rubbed his head and pouted.
"Alright, now we need to get started on female beauty!" Naruto shouted.
"Huh?" Shada asked.
-o-
"You're joking?" Shada asked.
"Nope," Naruto said with a mischievous smile.
The trio stood before an adult magazine shop in the middle of town.
"I'm not going in there," Shada said. "If my sisters found out, they'd never look at me the same again!"
"Your loss," Naruto said. "Let's go, Konohamaru!"
"Alright, Boss!"
Roughly ten minutes later, Naruto got thrown out, battered, bruised, and with his right eye blackened and swollen shut, while Konohamaru ran out behind him without so much as a scratch.
"Didn't go so well, I take it?" Shada asked Naruto, who was lying face down in the street before him.
"Don't worry," Naruto said, lifting his face out of the dirt. "I've got a plan B."
-o-
"HELL NO!" Shada shouted, blocking the entrance by standing in the way in the Gentle Fist stance, Byakugan already activated.
Naruto was transformed into his Sexy Jutsu state, only he was the same height, less busty, and still in his jumpsuit. Konohamaru was turned into a very fat female with swollen lips, a bloated head, some fat poking out of the bottom of his shirt, and only enough hair to copy his normal messy ponytail, the rest of his head being bald.
"Come on!" Naruto said in the high-pitched feminine voice he used for Sexy Jutsu. "We have to show Konohamaru female beauty!"
"I said no!" Shada yelled. "Both of my sisters use this hot spring, you sickos! Besides, spying on women like that is just creepy and wrong!"
"What was that about spying?" someone said from behind Shada with a dangerous tone of voice.
Shada looked behind him to see a very pissed off looking Ino and Sakura.
"Oh, perfect timing," Shada said, stepping to the side. "Would you two kindly show Naruto and Konohamaru here why they shouldn't peek in on the women's baths?"
They charged and Naruto simply gulped.
-o-
"Why do they only whack me?" Naruto asked, his body covered in more scrapes and bruises while Konohamaru was still untouched.
The group was now standing in the forest of one of the training areas within the village.
"That is a good question… I figured the girls would kick both of your asses, cause you both deserved it," Shada said, looking at Konohamaru, who had a swollen cheek from Shada himself since the girls only went after Naruto.
"Sorry," Konohamaru said while looking at his feet.
"Huh?" Naruto looked at him questioningly.
"It's cause I'm the grandson of a Hokage," Konohamaru said.
"Hey, don't worry about it," Naruto said with a smile.
"Huh?" It was Konohamaru who said it this time.
Naruto looked down at Konohamaru. "I prepared you, so now you're ready to learn the Sexy Jutsu."
Naruto then gave him a thumbs-up.
"Believe it; you're just gonna need to practice."
Konohamaru sat there with a stunned look on his face before finally smiling and saying, "Practice; all right, Boss!"
The next few hours were grueling, and Shada wasn't even the one doing the training.
"Now the trick is to get all the curves in the right places," Naruto said. "Are you ready?"
"I'm ready, Boss! Transform!"
One puff of smoke later, there stood the same transformation Konohamaru used at the bath house, only this time with more hair, light pink panties, and a light pink sports bra. Shada almost puked at the sight of it.
"What do ya think?" he asked in a clearly fake deep voice.
"I think I want to carve my own eyes out," Shada said.
"No go!" Naruto shouted. "You've gotta make her skinnier."
Konohamaru transformed back into himself and said, "Skinnier! Right, Boss!"
Konohamaru transformed.
"Hi," came the deep voice.
"How's that?" came Konohamaru's real voice.
"Focus more," Shada said. "Maintain a clear picture in your mind."
"And make it curvier!" Naruto shouted.
"Clear Picture! Curvier! Right, Boss! Thanks, Sensei! How's this!?"
Konohamaru transformed again.
"This is gonna be a long day," Shada responded.
-o-
Naruto took another sip from his can of soda.
The trio had found a few vending machines tucked away in the training ground and decided to buy a small snack for a break. Now they all sat on a log together a few yards away from the machines.
"So, what's up with this obsession you've got with your grandfather?" Naruto suddenly asked.
"My grandfather named me Konohamaru," Konohamaru said after a moment of hesitation, "after the ancient name of the village. So it should be easy to remember.
"But no one calls me that name; not one person in the whole village! That's cause, when they look at me, they don't really see me. All they see is 'the honorable grandson of the Lord Hokage'. No one knows who I am.
"I can't stand it anymore. It's like I'm invisible! Like I don't exist… I hate that. That's the reason… I've got to become the Hokage now, so people know who I am!"
Shada blinked a few times, then looked at Naruto, who sat between him and Konohamaru.
"So… they're the same. They both just want to be Hokage so others will finally acknowledge them."
"Get real!" Naruto suddenly said. "You think people are gonna accept a squirt like you?"
"Naruto!" Shada said scornfully.
"A kid can't just turn into a Hokage after a day or two," Naruto continued.
"What!?" Konohamaru shot up and yelled angrily.
"It's not that simple," Naruto continued once more. "You keep saying 'Hokage, Hokage!' To really be a Hokage, you know what you'll have to do?"
"What?" Konohamaru asked. "What is it?"
Naruto then grinned like a maniac.
"You're gonna have to defeat me in battle!" he said.
Konohamaru just stared in shock.
"I FOUND YOU!"
Naruto and Shada suddenly shot up to stand next to Konohamaru and face the source of the new voice. It was the guy with sunglasses from the Hokage's office, glaring down at them with a hateful look on his face, especially towards Naruto. He then jumped down from the tree limb he was on and landed before them.
"So, Honorable Grandson," the man began, "time to go home."
"No way!" Konohamaru shouted. "I'm learning how to beat my grandfather so I can get the title Hokage. NOW DON'T GET IN MY WAY!"
"A Hokage is more than just a fighter," the man continued while walking towards them. "He must know virtue, honor, wisdom, and he must be skilled at a thousand Jutsu. You don't even know one Jutsu."
Konohamaru immediately scowled and threw up a hand sign.
"Transform!" he shouted.
This time, Shada saw no problems with the chakra manipulation, other than a bit of over usage, but nothing too serious for an academy trainee.
"Huh?" the man said, stopping and staring out of what appeared to be curiosity.
Just then, a naked girl with long black hair appeared, holding her hands behind her head and smiling.
"Hi there," she said in a playfully seductive voice. "Like my Jutsu?"
Konohamaru then transformed back as the man began shouting out in shock.
"What-what-WHAT KIND OF SCANDALOUS TECHNIQUE IS THAT!?" the man shouted as Shada and Naruto just stared. "Such tasteless vulgarity can never influence me! I am far above it!"
The man then ran forward while Konohamaru turned to run and grabbed the end of the boy's scarf. Thus began a tug-of-war between the two.
"Honorable Grandson, stop this!" the man shouted. "Right now!"
The man then gave Naruto a dirty look.
"Naruto's turning you into a delinquent!" he said harshly. "Only my special training can put you on the fast track to becoming Hokage!"
That irked Shada a bit.
"First of all, you creep," Shada began, earning the man's attention as he stepped forward, "there is no 'fast track' to becoming the Hokage. You have to earn that the hard way; that means no shortcuts. If there were shortcuts, and you knew them, wouldn't you be Hokage yourself?
"Second of all, Naruto isn't turning him into anything. If anything, Naruto's acted kinder and better towards Konohamaru than what you ever have! Never mind the stupid Jutsu, it's still helped him learn better chakra control than you've managed to do over however long you've been harassing him."
"Excuse me!?" the man said, releasing his hold on Konohamaru.
"You don't even use his real name, nor acknowledge him as himself. He's just a symbol of Gramps to you, isn't he? You trying to suck up to the old man for a raise?"
The man didn't take kindly to that, as Shada was sent flying into the vending machines by a kick he only noticed after he'd gone five feet.
CRASH!
Shada fell to the cement slab that the machines sat on, glass falling around him from the now smashed machine his back had just connected with.
"Ow," Shada groaned, his chest feeling like it had just been caved in. "Hit me all you want; it doesn't make you any less of a jerk."
"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
Shada looked up to see roughly fifty Naruto's scattered around the area, prepared to fight.
"Whoa!" Konohamaru shouted. "This is… unreal!"
"Hmph." The man simply smirked as he pushed up his sunglasses. "I'm not impressed. I'm a Jonin, an elite ninja warrior. I'm not some lightweight like Mizuki."
He then walked towards the center of the large group of Naruto clones.
"Watch," he said, "how a real ninja defeats an upstart."
The man hunched over and took his own stance.
"Ready?" he asked.
All of the Naruto's threw up a hand sign.
"Transform!"
Suddenly, the jackass was surrounded by naked female Naruto's. The man stood no chance as they lunged at him, shouting things like "Master" and "We love you."
When they were done, they all disappeared, and when the smoke cleared, only the real Naruto remained, back in his original state. He stood over Konohamaru's passed out teacher, who had a fairly concerning amount of blood coming from his nose.
"Gotcha," he said, "with my Harem Jutsu."
-o-
"Oh man!" Konohamaru shouted, now that they were in an entirely different training area, though it looked a lot like the previous one. "I couldn't even beat that snobby trainer of mine!"
The trio had made a break for it after the trainer (Ebisu, Konohamaru had said his name was) was rendered unconscious. It was now sunset, so they were getting ready to say their goodbyes.
"I wanna be Hokage so bad," Konohamaru continued. "But I keep messing up! Why can't I do it!?"
"You really think it's that easy?" Naruto asked.
"Huh?" Konohamaru responded.
"The Hokage are some of the most powerful ninja to ever live," Shada said. "They were also some of the wisest and most experienced. Each of them worked hard to reach that point, so just a few days isn't all it's gonna take."
Naruto nodded in agreement before saying, "He's right, ya know. You have to prove yourself so everyone believes in you.
"Look at me! I've been through a lot already; I've been ignored, pushed away, and treated like I have the plague or something. And after all that, I found one person who believes in me. To find that one person, I had to get knocked down a lot. And since then, I've only gotten a few others."
"You think he's talking about me?"
"Actually, I think he means Iruka. Then you and Hinata are probably the others."
"Eh, that's fair."
"So you better make sure that you're ready," Naruto continued.
"For what?" Konohamaru asked.
Naruto turned away before saying, "For lots of sweat… and tears… while you're learning to be a ninja."
Naruto then chuckled a bit and looked back.
"By the way," he said, "Shada was also right about what he said to that closet pervert; there is no 'easy way' to becoming Hokage. Believe it."
Konohamaru wore a stunned expression for a minute, then smiled and turned around.
"Ha!" he shouted. "Who do you think you are, anyway, giving me a big lecture like that!? That's it; I'm not going to be your apprentice anymore."
Konohamaru then looked back at Naruto and said, "From now on, we're rivals."
The boy then smiled and gave a chuckle, showing off the fact that a tooth was missing from his top row of teeth.
"Well, Naruto's about to be a bit too busy to train you, anyways," Shada said while putting his friend in a playful one-armed headlock from the side. "Because tomorrow, he and I are going to be taking our next steps in our lives as ninja and getting assigned to teams. But I'm sure he'll be able to spare a bit of time to take you on as a rival."
"Yeah, and someday, we'll fight for the title of Lord Hokage," Naruto said with a smile from his trapped position. "So let's both look forward to that day… Konohamaru."
And with that, Shada released Naruto and the two both began walking home. They raised their hands in a sign of farewell.
"Ya know… I truly believe that one day… they can both do it."
"If they do… then they'll be the two most interesting Hokage I've ever met. And I've met them all. I wonder which one will surprise me more?"