Dear Diary,

I am sure I looked like quite the tourist when I set out with Dimka and Christian to meet up with the others; there was so much to see and I was anxious to experience everything Court had to offer. I knew my time there would fly by in the blink of an eye—a month seems like a very long time, but in reality, it slips away before you know it. While my brother and his charged walked along unaffected, I was enchanted by everything that was going on around us; even something as simple as a window display being changed was reason enough for me to stop and watch—which made my brother laugh and grab my arm, telling me not to dawdle.

As we neared the café where everyone was waiting, it was Roza that caught my eye. She has a sort of presence about her that commands attention, no matter who she might be with; sitting next to the pale, beautiful queen, it was the dark haired dhampir that drew the gaze of the people passing by, making her the focal point of the small group gathered around the table. Even in the dim light of the decorative street lamps I could see the look of fondness on my mama's face as she and my grandmother laughed at whatever it was Roza was saying, and when I glanced up at my brother, I could see an eagerness on his face, like he couldn't wait to be near her. I returned my eyes to the table, watching her dramatically wave her arms around, and right then… it struck me what a strange thing love must be; my brother was so quiet and reserved, yet he had lost his heart to a woman who was in many ways his complete opposite. He had never willingly spent time with anyone as boisterous and lively as Roza—in fact he had often gone out of his way to avoid such people—but yet here he was, happier with her than I could ever remember seeing him.

Even as I thought it, his face shifted; his lips curled up into a smile as she looked up and their eyes met, and her expression shifted too, her face lighting up at the sight of him. It sent an unexpected pang of envy and longing through me, completely catching me by surprise. I'd been avoiding any kind of romantic entanglement since my disastrous experience with Rolan—but seeing Dimka and his Roza together made me wish I had someone to call my own.

"There you are! I thought I was gonna have to send out a search party!" She grinned at me, rising from her chair to brush her lips against my brother's cheek. "Liss was starting to get fidgety."

"Rose! I was not!"

"Were too."

"I do not fidget!"

"Actually—as much as I hate to agree with Rose….sometimes you do." Christian smiled at his girlfriend fondly, and again I felt a wave of sadness; I suppose you don't really realize what you are missing until you spend time in the presence of people that are in love.

"Well… maybe I do, just a little… but only when I get impatient."

I bit my lip, realizing that my eating breakfast had kept them all waiting. "I'm very sorry—I didn't realize you were waiting. No one told me and—"

"Oh no! That's not what I meant Vika—it's not your fault at all." She shot me an apologetic look, trying to reassure me—but unfortunately for her… it wasn't working. "I rarely take time off to do things I enjoy, so I get a little—"

"Fidgety." Rose and Christian spoke in unison, then glared at each other—making everyone break out in laughter, including me.

"Fine. I fidget. I admit it. Now can we get this show on the road? We have some major shopping to do since none of you brought very much along. Chris… are you going to join us?" The look she gave her boyfriend made me giggle—it was sweet and pleading, the kind of look I thought would surely make him agree to whatever she said.

"No way—sorry Liss, but I already have plans to uh…" he looked over at Dimitri for help, but my brother averted his eyes, ignoring the panicked expression on the Moroi's face. "Help Abe. He wants me to test out some recipes for your party."

Lissa shot him a skeptical look, but shrugged her shoulders as she gracefully rose from her chair. "If you'd rather spend time cooped up with a man old enough to be your father instead of with five beautiful women—your loss. Are we ready girls?"

Mama tossed back the last of her coffee, setting her cup down and nodding her head. "Will we be leaving the grounds or staying here?"

"There are some really wonderful shops here so there's no need to leave the wards… unless you wanted to go into the city for some sightseeing?" Lissa looked over her shoulder at the four member of her guard that were stationed a discreet distance away from the patio table, surrounding the perimeter. "We'll have to wait for more guardians and arrange for a limo but—"

"No… no, that's fine. You just seemed so excited—I thought it was because we were leaving court." Mama reached over, gently touching her arm to stop her from summoning the guardians over.

Roza chuckled, smiling fondly at her best friend. "She always gets like that when shopping is involved—she's like a little kid on a massive sugar high." Stretching, she laced her arm through mine, giving me a conspiratorial wink, then glared teasingly at the others. "Well? What are we waiting for? Let's move! Daylight's burning—the sooner we get started the sooner Lissa will stop wiggling around like she's got ants in her pants."

"Roza…did you just quote John Wayne?"

Ignoring Lissa's indignant protest, she tugged me away from the table, leaning a little closer to me with a mischievous smile on her face. "Blame your brother's influence. Speaking of which… wanna tell me about threatening to castrate him?"

A hot blush flooded my cheeks, making me hide my face away behind my hair. "I didn't—he took it the wrong way. I was talking about his hair… not his… you know."

"Oh I bet he'd love that." She laughed softly, her smile widening. "Hate to break it to you, but that would probably piss him off a hell of a lot more than it would me, seeing as how I told him if he ever cut his hair I'd chop off all mine too."

"That would be a very foolish thing to do Roza—you have beautiful hair." I reached over, tugging on a wavy strand. "I wish mine was half as nice as yours."

"Well… I probably shouldn't be spoiling the surprise, but I know for a fact Lissa plans to treat you to a day at the spa before the party, so you could always try a new style—but honestly I don't see what's wrong with yours. I happen to think it's pretty great."

"Only because it's the same color as Dimka's," I teased as she steered me around the corner. "If his was green you'd probably like it too. I swear I have never seen two people so—" I stopped short, my eyes widening as I gazed down the street. It was filled with shops, the windows displaying clothes the likes of which we'd never be able to get in Baia.

"Vik? You okay?"

"So many shops…."

"Yeah, well you better be prepared to hit every single one of them. Lissa's like the energizer bunny when it comes to shopping. She keeps going and going until I have to beg her to stop." Tugging open the door to the first shop, she motioned me inside. "Wait here… I've just gotta tell the manager the queen is coming in. They'll have to close the store down while we're here—for safety's sake."

"But… she was just sitting out in the open… isn't that more dangerous?"

"No—there were a lot more guardians around than just the four that we had in sight. In here she'll be going into a secluded changing room—someone could grab her or harm her faster than you could blink, and since I'm 'off duty' she won't let me go in with her. Be right back."

I watched as she strode up to the counter; leaning against it as she talked with the clerk, her eyes constantly darted around the store. Just thinking about the logistics she must go through every day to keep Lissa safe was enough to make me glad that I'd never have a charge of my own. It had to be exhausting, always focusing on someone else, trying to anticipate any little thing that could put her in harms way. To my amazement the boutiques owner began herding up the customers that were browsing, ushering them past me and out the door.

"You too miss—I'm sorry, but the Queen will be here any minute." She gave me a fake smile, jerking her head towards the door.

"She's with the Queen's group." Roza called from where she was leaning, a look of irritation crossing her face. "Hard to believe, I know… but the Queen does go shopping with dhampirs."

"I didn't mean—"

"You did… your smile expressed your thoughts clearly." She pushed off the counter, brushing past the woman to peer out the door. "It doesn't matter one way or the other whether you approve, but you will be polite and respectful to the dhampirs that are shopping with the Queen."

"Of course. I wouldn't—"

"Whatever. She's here. Vika, do me a favor and run back and check the dressing rooms. If anyone's in there let me know so we can get them out before Lissa starts to browse." Ignoring the Moroi's mumbled apologies, she pushed open the door, holding it open for two members of the Royal Guard to enter and confer with her.

I hurried to the back of the store, knocking on each of the doors, then peering underneath them to make sure each was clear; returning to Roza's side, I gave the all clear. "Everyone is gone. But… is she really in that much danger? I thought the people loved her…why would—"

She rubbed the center of her chest, her face completely emotionless—but I understood what the gesture meant. "It only takes one dissatisfied Royal, Vika. One bullet and the young, liberal queen who believes in equal rights for dhampirs and that Moroi should learn defense would be nothing more than a few sentences in a history book. Now smile… and don't bring up safety in front of her. She's got enough shit on her plate without adding to her worries." She turned, her expression shifting as she moved forward towards her best friend; to look at her you'd never guess that a moment before she'd been discussing something so grim. "Well… are you ready to show Vika how it's done?"

Lissa's face was practically glowing with happiness as she glanced around the shop. "Look at that dress! It would look wonderful on Olena—maybe with her hair piled up and a few messy curls around her face. And that one over there… Vika… what size are you?"

Roza glanced back at me, and I swear I saw a flicker of regret in her dark, dark eyes. It puzzled me for a moment before I realized that despite the fact that she had taken time off to spend with my family, she couldn't kick back and have fun like the rest of us. Even on her day off she had to be alert, putting her best friends safety above everything else. As Lissa wandered off, I reached over and took Roza's hand, squeezing it gently. "Couldn't you have a few more guardians join us? Maybe then you could—"

"No. I couldn't." She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes following Lissa's blonde head as she weaved her way through the racks. "I'm her guardian. I always have been. There's only one other person I trust to keep her safe—and if he were here I'd want him to be spending time with you guys, so even then…" Her voice trailed off and she pulled her hand free, gently shoving me in the direction Lissa had taken. "But you can help me out today—be my second set of eyes. Consider it field experience."

The fact she didn't want to discuss it was obvious, so I simply nodded my head and followed after her friend—but her reaction made me wonder if maybe deep down inside, sometimes she wished her life were a little more like the one my sisters and I shared. We weren't expected to go into service—in fact, Yeva forbid it. She was the only female in our family who had duty a guardian and something had happened during that time that soured her to the lifestyle; I often wondered what it could have been, but it was something she refused to talk about.

"Look at this—isn't it cute?"

I was pulled out of my musings by Lissa's voice as she thrust a blouse into my hands. I ran my fingers over the garment, admiring her taste. "It's a very pretty color. I love this shade of red." I flipped over the price tag, staring at it a moment, then immediately handed it back to her. "But… I have one similar at home."

"Oh… okay then. We'll find something else that's even cuter."

I waited until she was distracted by the clothes to make a beeline for my mother. "Mama—"

"That was a very pretty top, didn't you like it, kotyonok?"

"It was two hundred American dollars, Mama. For a shirt."

Mama's brow crinkled up as she glanced around the shop. "Maybe it was a misprint. Surely—"

"No… it wasn't. Look." I reached over, grabbing a random dress off the nearest rack. "Seven hundred dollars. Do you think this is a misprint too?"

"Oh dear… we can't afford these prices. I wanted to find you a pretty dress but—"

"I know." I interrupted, anxious to reassure her. "We'll figure something out. Maybe Dimka can take us somewhere away from court—where things aren't so ridiculously expensive."

She studied me for a moment—surprised, I suppose that I wasn't pitching a fit. "That is a very mature outlook Vika… I'm proud of you."

"Come on Mama—give me a little credit. That shirt alone could feed our family for a month. I'm not so selfish that I'd expect you to waste that kind of money on me." It hurt to think that she'd assumed otherwise. Maybe at one time I would have acted as she'd feared, but a person can grow up a lot in a few months' time—and it saddened me that she didn't realize that's just what I had done.

"Her dress isn't here. And it isn't anywhere Dimka would take you. I've seen it—and you will swallow your pride and accept it graciously."

"I will not let the queen—"

"It's not the queen who will pay for it." Yeva gave me a look, jerking her head around the store. "These are the kind of things she likes, pretty but not outstanding. The dress you will wear to the dance is the kind that takes a man's breath away kotyonok. The kind of dress that makes you feel like a princess. Don't you want to look beautiful when you…"

Her voice trailed off and she swayed on her feet, her eyes losing their focus. I glanced over at my mother, reaching out to support my grandmother as I guided her to a chair. "See if they have some water. I'll keep an eye on her."

I smoothed back her hair, gently stroking her soft, wrinkled cheek; her eyes darted from side to side beneath her closed lids as she mumbled hushed words that made no sense. I felt so helpless, watching her—but until the vision played out in her head, nothing could be done.

"Vika? Oh—is she all right?" Lissa dropped down beside me, reaching for my grandmother's hand. I felt a strange prickling sensation, like something was dancing along my skin that made me reach out, gently batting her hand away. "She is fine… she doesn't need healing."

"How did you know what I was doing?" Her green eyes were wide and surprised, making me realize I'd almost given away my secret.

"There is a spirit user in my village. I'm accustomed to her trying to help people." The lie rolled off my tongue easily, my voice as smooth as silk. "I didn't want you to endanger your own health when it wasn't needed. My grandmother is… a seer… she has visions. She's trapped in one now."

"Like Rhonda?" She turned, glancing over at Roza, who'd come up behind me

"Sort of. Dimitri said she used to read cards like Rhonda does. Is she going to be okay?" My brother's girlfriend studied my grandmother, her face full of curiosity. "I really thought all that talk about her seeing things was bogus."

"Her predictions usually come true." I stroked Yeva's cheek again, wondering what was taking my mother so long.

"Because she words them so vaguely you can't disprove them."

"When I was six years old she had a vision… when she snapped out of it she told my mother that caves were dangerous to Dimka. Was that vague—or did it come true, Roza? Where was my brother when he fell to the Strigoi and everyone left him to die?" It came out harsher than I meant for it too, but I couldn't stop myself from lashing out at her. Her reaction was like so many other peoples—it was the reason I never discussed the things I saw. I didn't want people whispering about me… treating me like I was crazy—or acting like I was a fraud, making things up for attention.

She jerked back like I had hit her; before she could compose her features, the trembling of her lip betrayed how deeply I'd wounded her. "Thanks for throwing that in my face… it's not like I don't regret it every single day of my fucking life."

"Roza—"

"That was cruel Viktoria. She tried to go back… they wouldn't let her." Yeva's eyes jerked open, locking on Roza, her voice weak and thin. "She would have followed him into death if they hadn't held her back."

"I should have fought harder." Something in her voice made me glance up at her, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. She turned her head to gaze out the large window that overlooked the street, but I saw a single tear slide down her cheek before she reached up to brush it away.

"Tell her the rest of that prophecy granddaughter—the part no one understood. You hurt her with angry words… perhaps knowing what I saw so long ago will soothe away the sting."

I didn't speak—I couldn't. My grandmother was right and the fact I had been so petty filled me with shame. Shaking her head, Yeva pushed herself up from the chair, reaching out to grasp Roza's chin, forcing her to meet her eyes. "I saw a bush of wild red roses, the kind that refused to be tamed. I told them all that a wild rose would be the one to save my grandson's soul. You don't have to believe in me Roza… but I believe in you." Her hand dropped down to brush against Roza's abdomen, her face filling with a reverence I'd only seen her wear in church. "The children… yours and Dimitri's… they will change the world."

"Now I know you're full of shit—or have you forgotten? Dhampirs can't have kids together." She jerked back, trying to turn away, but my grandmother refused to let her go. "You're being just as cruel as she was—you do realize that, right?"

"I am telling you what I have seen. You are more than just a dhampir Roza—and so is Dimitri. It will happen—and when it does, you must be careful. Fate can be changed by careless acts… for your children to survive, you will need the help of someone you almost destroyed." Her eyes drifted over to me, and for a moment the hair on the back of my neck prickled, standing on end. Her words were important, thought I didn't know why; my own gift was responding to what she said, confirming it as truth.

"Yeah? So what… we'll be the first dhampir couple to figure out a way to get infertility treatments without the humans noticing our genetics aren't normal?" Roza pulled away, shaking her head. "Maybe you should go meet Rhonda and the two of you can practice your crap on someone who actually believes the things you say."

"Rose…" Lissa stood up, reaching for her friend. "Who knows, maybe she's right. Maybe—"

"Enough! Please Lissa… just let it go. You know what… I think I need to get some fresh air. I'll be right outside the door if you need me." Jaw tensed, she shoved the door open with so much force that it bounced back, narrowly avoiding hitting her.

Lissa watched her walk away with an expression of sadness etched across her lovely face. "Did you really see children?"

"I did. They will be beautiful… and brave. And they will need you to guide them."

"Me? But… why? What do I know about—"

"No more questions. You will know when the time comes. When you hold your goddaughter and gaze into her eyes… you will understand what I mean Vasilisa. And when you watch her with her baby brother… you will help them understand why they are different."

"Goddaughter?" Lissa's mouth dropped open, her face lighting up as if she'd swallowed the moon.

A name came to me, followed by another. They rang out in my head like the soft pealing of a crystal bell, and I spoke without thinking. "Anya… Anya Vasilisa…and…. Ivan…" I glanced up at my grandmother for confirmation; she patted my cheek nodding her head.

"We will speak of this no more. That is the way of prophecy. Now tell me Vasilisa… where can I find this Rhonda? I would very much like to visit with her and see what she has to say." Yeva glanced over at me, steering the topic away from what I'd said before the young queen realized that I had spouted out prophecy too.

I stood up, taking a deep breath as I watched Roza through the window. Just looking at her, it seemed like she was fine, but I recognized the expression on her face; she was hiding her emotions away, refusing to free them. I tried to tell myself it would be best to leave her alone—once she'd calmed down she would be more likely to accept my apology—but I simply couldn't let her stand out there and suffer alone. After taking a moment to mentally prepare myself for the angry outburst I was sure to receive, I pushed open the door and stepped outside into the cool night air.

"Viktoria… I swear to God if you say one thing about kids I'm gonna punch you in the face."

"Actually… I was going to say that you look quite terrifying and you are probably scaring everyone that walks by." I leaned against the wall beside her, trying not to invade her space.

"They're used to it."

"For what it's worth… I'm sorry I snapped at you. I can be a little overprotective when it comes to people doubting what Yeva says."

She sighed, bumping her head back against the wall. "It's not like I want kids… not right now. But Dimitri wants them… and I know someday… when I'm a little older… I will too. So it hurts, you know? Like rubbing salt in an open wound."

"If Yeva saw children—"

"I don't buy into that crap. It's all a matter of interpretation."

"It seemed pretty clear to me." I glanced over at her, not sure how much I could say before her temper gaining the better of her.

"Come on Vik—really? That part about me needing someone I hurt in order to have kids that survived? The only person I've really hurt is a Moroi—the guy I was involved with when Dimitri got restored. Of course I'd need him—cause dhampirs can't have kids together. But you know what? I guarantee you that's not gonna happen—I'm not going to screw my ex just to have kids. I wouldn't do that to him or to Dimitri—and I don't want to sleep with anyone but your brother."

"It's not always as black and white as you seem to think. You're right… sometimes predictions are vague, but it's a matter of faith, Roza."

"I'm not a big believer in things I can't see."

I chewed at my bottom lip, troubled by what she'd said. My family is very religious—and though she'd attended church with us, her statement indicated she might not really believe in what that represented. "You can't see God—do you believe in Him?"

"That's a hard question to answer." She heaved a deep sigh, closing her eyes. "A year ago I probably would have said no…but I saw your brother's soul return to his body. How can I doubt God after that? But it's hard for me to put blind faith in anything."

"Would you say what happened to Dimitri was a miracle?"

"Yes."

"Then why is it so hard to believe you might get another?"

"Because if it was possible it would have happened to dhampirs by now. We'd have heard…Oh God…" Her eyes snapped open, a look of horror crossing her face as she reached out, grabbing onto my arm. "Viktoria… what was it she said… about fate being changed?"

"Fate can be changed by careless acts… why?"

"Because I just remembered something someone said to me… about dhampirs having children. That we don't need to throw ourselves into battle…because making children isn't really that difficult." Her grip on my arm tightened painfully. "There is someone else I hurt… a Moroi named Robert Doru. His brother was the one who said it. Victor Dashkov knew a way for dhampirs to have kids together… and in one careless moment… I killed him."