Dear Diary,

—Entry continued—

I must admit I was a bit startled by what she said, but as I thought about it, I realized that perhaps I shouldn't have been. Koyla had shared with me some of the things his brother had told him about the time Roza had spent hunting with his group, so I already knew she could be deadly. To the unpromised dhampires from Baia, she represented everything a warrior should aspire to; she was ruthless and absolutely lethal, without a hint of mercy, which was why they'd taken to calling her krasivaya gibel'—beautiful death.

"Does my brother know this?"

"He was there when Victor said it… and later…when I killed him. The darkness took over, Vika. I didn't mean to do it. Yeah, I hated him and may have wanted him dead for the things he did to Liss… but not by my own hand. He was the closest thing I had to a father growing up and… the way he died still haunts me" She released her grip on my arm, but moved closer, lowering her voice. "No one knows other than the people who were there that day. Dimitri… he got rid of the body. You can't tell anyone, if you did—"

I interrupted her, my own temper flaring to life. "You really think I would do that? Put my own brother—and you—in jeopardy in such a way? Seriously Roza?"

"No… I guess you wouldn't. I'm sorry—I shouldn't have said anything in the first place, it just kinda slipped out when I realized that for once… what Yeva said actually made sense."

"Regardless—she says she has seen your children, so I don't think that incident was what she was referring to. You just have to be more careful in the future so as not to tempt the fates." I took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, mentally willing her to believe the things I said. "I want to know more about what happened, but perhaps it should wait until later… when we aren't standing in the middle of the street, yes? Right now we should go save your friend from my grandmother—you know Yeva has a way of scaring people without meaning to."

"I kinda wish she'd stuck with the whole not speaking English routine she used on me in Russia. Liss is gonna drive me nuts hounding me about what she heard in there. She'll probably want to start shopping for my non-existent baby." She gave me a one armed hug, rolling her eyes. "You're right though, we shouldn't be talking about this here. Maybe you and I can have a girls night before you go home… I'll sleep over and we can pig out in front of the TV while I answer all your questions."

Before I tell her how much I'd like that, the door jerked open and Lissa's blonde head appeared; the fact she was distressed by something was written all over her face. "They want to leave! Rose you have to do something to stop them!"

"Like what? Hog tie them?" Rose steered me back inside, gently nudging Lissa further into the store. "Let me guess, Yeva wants to go meet Rhonda to compare trade secrets?"

"Yes! I told her we could do it later, but she's insisting she has to go right now."

"So let her go—shopping really isn't her thing." My eyes wandered over to where my grandmother stood, whispering to my mother as she watched us with a worried expression on her face. "Besides, she tires very easily. We'll be able to visit more shops if she is doing something else."

"But I wanted to buy them outfits for the luncheon I'm having next week—I had the whole day planned out and this is going to ruin everything." She looked absolutely devastated—though I really couldn't understand why; surely it wasn't that big a deal that my grandmother didn't want to shop. "Roza, maybe—"

"Vika, why don't you go check on Yeva and let me deal with this?" Her eyes were locked on the young queen's hands, her face scrunched up with concern. "Lissa… where's your ring?"

"I threw it away—I don't need it." Lissa slid her hands behind her back, glaring defiantly at both of us.

"Yes… you do." Reaching into her pocket she groaned. "Shit—I don't have any on me. I'll have Sergi run to Sonya's and—Vika… didn't I ask you to go check on your grandmother?"

I ignored her question, already rummaging through my purse. "It's Spirit isn't it? I can help… hold on, it's in here somewhere." I knelt down, dumping the contents of my bag on the ground, searching for the small bundle Oksana had dropped off the day before we'd left home. "Between the jet lag and rushing around it completely slipped my mind, but I have a gift for Lissa in here somewhere. Ah—see?" I held up the small package proudly, happy I could help. "I'm so sorry I forgot to give this to you Lissa—it's from our friend back home that specializes in Spirit."

She immediately snatched it out of my hand, ripping into the tissue paper with an almost childlike expression of glee. "I love presents! Especially ones—oh a necklace! It's beautiful!"

"Shall I help you put it on?" I stood up as she nodded, moving her hair out of the way to fasten the thin silver chain around her neck. The necklace itself might not help her much, but the large, ornate Orthodox cross pendant that rested against her skin, right at the hollow of her throat should certainly do the trick. "Oksa has one very similar and liked the idea of you having one too… she thought it would be an appropriate gift since Roza mentioned you always attend services."

The difference the charmed silver made was immediately apparent; her eyes calmed and the almost manic look that had been in them a moment before faded away before my eyes. "I'll have to send her a thank you note… and a return gift. Maybe you can deliver it for me?"

"Of course. I would be glad to. She hopes to one day have the honor of meeting you—there are no other Spirit users in our area and she is very excited to know all about what you have discovered."

"It would be nice if I could get away for a while… go to Baia and meet her. Unfortunately, I don't see it happening anytime soon." Her eyes darted from me to Rose, then over to my grandmother, her brow wrinkling with confusion. "I'm sorry… for some strange reason… I don't remember what we were talking about before."

"The wicked witch of the East wants to meet the wicked witch of the West," Roza stood up from where she'd been shoving things back in my purse, handing it to me with a rueful grin. "Thanks—that was quick thinking."

I waved off her comment. "My grandmother wants to meet the person you were talking about. She is being rather stubborn about doing it now."

"Well if she wants to go, then she should. This is her vacation, after all. Rose, will you send for a car? It's way too far for her to walk. And maybe contact Ambrose and tell him I asked to please make sure they get in immediately."

"Sure thing. Why don't you finish looking around while we wait so we can move on to the next store?" She pulled out her phone, her fingers flying over the screen while she spoke.

"There's nothing here I really like… maybe we should try Margo's." Lissa gave me a conspiratorial look, lacing her arm through mine. " She always has the best things. She also takes custom orders—that's where I get most of my clothes. We probably should have just started off there from the get go."

"Car will be here in a few. Vik, will you tell Yeva? Maybe that will get her to chill out and quit giving us the evil eye. I swear to God if I'm as bitchy as she is when I get old—"

"Some might say you are already there," I teased, "in fact, I am fairly certain of it."

"Very funny smart ass, " she muttered under her breath as I pulled away from Lissa, making my way over to where my mother was trying to calm Yeva down.

"Grandmother, stop fretting—Roza sent for a car. It will take you to meet—"

"She won't last long at all. A year or two at most." Yeva narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.

"Who? The seer?"

Mama pulled me closer to them, her voice a whisper. "No—the queen. She is worried the queen is going to lose herself in Spirit."

"Don't be silly, Roza would never let that happen. She would find a way to re-invoke their bond first."

"Unless she is caught unaware. Is she with the queen twenty four hours a day Vika? Who knows what she does when she is on her own, safely locked away behind the closed doors of her room." She tore her eyes away from Lissa, narrowing them as she looked me over from head to toe. "Regardless… you cannot let her fragile mental state deter you. Do not tiptoe around her—speak your mind, no matter what. You must always be true to yourself and what you believe in."

I was unable to stop myself from laughing. "I must be hearing things—don't you usually reprimand me for being too outspoken?"

"Don't be insolent Viktoria Aleksandra Belikova. Just as with everything in life, there is a proper way to do it. You can be respectful and still state what you think. That is what you need to work on."

"Wow… that was fast—they must have had someone nearby. The car's pulling up," Roza called from beside the door. "Olena—are you escaping too?"

"Yes, I think I should probably go with Mama and leave you young people to your fun. Besides… it might be interesting to have my cards read by someone else for a change." My mother glanced nervously at Lissa, obviously afraid of upsetting her further. "If that's alright?"

"Of course it's alright! Please—do whatever makes you happy. You're here for a month, so I'm sure we can do this another time—in fact it will give me a good excuse to take another day off. Rose is always griping about me working too hard."

"Because you do work too hard." Holding the door open for my mother, Roza gave her friend a pointed look. "And I'm gonna keep right on hounding you until you actually listen to me and take a little time for yourself."

"You see? A Guardian is meant to do so much more than just protect their charge from physical danger. They are also supposed to look after their all around well being. There is more to keeping a Moroi safe than just fighting Strigoi." Yeva patted Roza on the cheek as she walked by, ignoring the dirty look she received in return for the gesture. "Roza knows that—it is what makes her so good at her job."

I frowned, wondering how it was that my grandmother could praise my brother's girlfriend when she so vehemently disapproved of women serving—but I held my tongue. Even if I asked her about it, I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer, so I might as well save my breath. Still, it played through my mind as our little group wandered through the next few shops, like an itch that wouldn't go away. The double standard between my sisters and I and Roza couldn't be because she wasn't a blood relative—as far as grandmother was concerned, Roza was Dimitri's wife, which made her family, so by right, the same rules should apply to her as well. So what was it that made it alright for her to be out in the world, living her dreams and guarding a charge while we were forced to stay in Baia and find meaningless jobs, our sole purpose in life being to have babies? It made no sense to me at all, no matter how I looked at it.

On top of that problem, with each boutique we entered, I felt more and more out of place. I'd never realized how backwards Baia was when it came to things like fashion and style until then. All of the clothing I'd brought with me was the very best I owned, but compared to the things that were on display and what the sales girls were wearing… all my stuff was obviously dated and old fashioned. I stood out like a sore thumb, feeling more and more self conscious with every minute that passed. I didn't say anything, but I could feel my heart sinking lower and lower in my chest, and I found myself wishing I'd gone with Mama and Yeva or even with my brother and his charge—anywhere would be better than standing among all the fine, expensive clothing in my old faded out jeans and baggy t-shirt.

It took a while for Lissa to notice the fact my mood had completely changed; once Oksa's necklace had her element under control, she was back to acting carefree and happy go lucky—and she was having a blast. The Moroi Queen treated shopping with an intensity that amazed me; she completely immersed herself in the activity in a way that most people reserved for much more serious past things, like studying a new language or maybe learning a trade. It seemed like as soon as we entered a store she had assessed the inventory in a single glance, immediately pulling items off the racks with a self-assured certainty that I couldn't helpbut envy. When I shopped for clothing I was never really sure what would look good on me, often wasting several hours browsing without buying a single thing. Lissa didn't seem to have my hang ups about fashion—she knew what she liked and what suited her, buying things without even bothering to try them on to check and see if they fit. That alone made it obvious that money wasn't an issue for her; she never even glanced at the prices, which certainly had never been the case for me. By the time we'd left the next couple of stores, our arms were so overloaded that Roza had to send for another car, just to haul the purchases. The driver followed us fromshop to shop, filling the trunk—and later, the backseat—with all the things Lissa bought in her shopping frenzy.

"What about this one," she asked, holding out a silky red dress with a draped, plunging neckline for my inspection.

My eyes darted down to the dangling tag; immediately I shook my head. "It's very nice, but not really my style."

"That's the same thing you've said about the last five dresses! Honestly Vika—you're harder to please than Rose… and that's saying a lot. Just try it on. Please?

"What's the point if I already know I'm not going to buy it?"

"Viktoria—just do it." Roza leaned against the rack, eyeing the dress. "It will look great on you."

"I don't—"

"Try this one too—I think the color will look amazing." Eyes still on the rack in front of her, Lissa thrust another dress at me, cutting off my protest before I could get it out of my mouth. "Ooooh—and this!"

I shot Roza a pleading look, but she was no help—all she did was she jerk her head towards the dressing room with an amused smile on her face. "You do realize… the longer you stand there, the more crap she's gonna hand you, right? So it'd be in your best interest to haul ass to the fitting room before she has you so loaded down you can't even walk."

I moved closer to her, lowering my voice to the softest whisper I could manage. "I can't buy these. You know we don't have this kind of money!"

"Nonsense! This is my treat." Apparently my quietest whisper wasn't enough to escape Lissa's ears. Her head shot up, her green eyes fixed on me like lasers. "You and your family are my guests and you'll be attending functions that require a certain type of clothing"

"I'm aware of that. We are going to ask Dimka to take us into town to pick up a few things. Mama said—"

Lissa rolled her eyes, waving her hand dismissively at my statement. "You leave your mother to me. Once she sees what I've picked out for her… oh crud… I forgot to get her sizes. I don't suppose you know, do you?"

"No—I'm sorry." I glanced down at the dresses in my arms, feeling a rush of longing. They were far more elaborate and beautiful than the plain black dress I'd bought in preparation for the trip—much more appropriate for a party in honor of the queen. The dress I'd spent hours picking out so carefully back home was the type of thing the women at court seemed to wear day to day for things like going out to lunch or running errands.

"Viktoria! Why are you still standing there? Go try them on so we can see how they look—that's an order!" She smiled brightly, handing a dress to Roza—who took it without a word of protest, much to my surprise.

"Like I told you before—she always gets her way. It's easier to just go with the flow. Come on—let's get this over with before she buys out the whole damned store." Glancing over at the doorway, she made a slight gesture with her hand; the guardians stationed at either side of the entranced pushed away from the wall moving towards us. The taller of the two spoke into the small headset he was wearing as they moved to flank Lissa so they could follow her as she moved about the store—and a moment later two new guardians entered the shop, immediately taking the places that had been abandoned by the door.

"Does she really need them so close to her?" I asked softly as we headed towards the fitting rooms.

"Probably not… but better safe than sorry. Besides, having them hover over her will get under her skin pretty fast—which means she won't make me try anything else on. She knows if I'm standing next to her the others will fall back and give her room to breathe. Brilliant, huh?" Shooting me a huge grin she pointed to one of the cubicles before entering the one right beside it. "She's gonna want to see them on you, so no quick changes. You get to be a model today."

"Wonderful," I said drily, entering the small room and moving to shut the door behind me.

"Miss Belikova? You're supposed to try this one too."

I held the door open for the sales woman to enter, eying the dark colored garment bag in her hands. She smiled brightly as she hung it on a small hook beside the door, not seeming to be disturbed at the thought of waiting on a dhampir. "If you need any help, just let me know."

"Thank you,. I'm sorry the Queen sent you after me—I'm sure you have other things that need doing."

"Oh that's not from the queen. Mr. Mazur came in this morning and picked it out—he said you were visiting the Queen and the two of you would be in today or tomorrow."

"Mr. Mazur… but did he say why?"

"He mentioned something about a party." The Moroi shrugged her slim shoulders, running her eyes over my figure. "It might be a bit snug on you, but we can always alter it—or we have things you can wear underneath to insure a better fit. I must say… his taste is exceptional—the color will work marvelously with your eyes and your hair. We have some shoes we can dye to match the gown too." I felt my face flush as her pale eyes dropped to my feet—I've always been embarrassed about their size. "Eight and a half?"

"Nine and a half, though sometimes even that is snug. It depends on the shoes."

"Well we have plenty in that size." She smiled reassuringly at me. "I make sure to keep the larger sizes in stock since most of my clients are tall… the taller you are, the bigger your feet are." She laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I hope my daughter is as tall as you are when she gets older. Right now she's shorter than all her classmates and it upsets her terribly."

"I'm sure she will grow, ma'am. Out of my entire class, there's not one short Moroi in the bunch."

"Oh… no. She's a dhampir. Like you. My husband is one of the staff Guardians here at Court." She smiled again, moving to leave the room. "I'll just go pull a few pairs of shoes in different sizes and leave them outside the door. My name is Joy, so if you need me, just open the door and give a little shout."

I called out my thanks as the door closed, marveling over how different her attitude was as opposed to the other women we'd encountered so far. They had all been polite but cold, obviously feeling that it was beneath their queen to willingly associate with someone like me—who was miles beneath her class. Moving to hang up the dresses in my hand on another hook that was near the first, my eyes darted over to the zipped up bag as I contemplated what I should try on first. Curiosity won out—I had to know what was hidden away beneath the protective coating. I unzipped the bag—and immediately got the surprise of my life.

I was honestly expecting something outlandish and flashy—maybe in some garish shade of bright yellow or fuchsia pink; I mean, judging by the way Abe dressed, his taste was a little… out there, to say the least. The ball gown inside was nothing like that at all—in fact, it was quite possibly the most elegant dress that I had ever seen, resembling the sort of thing that women used to wear in my grandmothers favorite old movies. It had a sleeveless bodice that would tightly hug my breasts and waist, flaring out to a full, flowing skirt that would gently brush the ground as I moved. The material wasn't any of the shades I'd feared—instead it was the color of milk chocolate, gradually ombréing down into the skirt so the hem was a brown so dark it looked almost black. Even more thrilling was how the entire thing was sprinkled with tiny faceted crystals that caught the light in a way that made the gradual color change almost ripple before my eyes. It was in all honesty the most amazing dress imaginable—so beautiful that it astounded me.

Until I saw the price tag that was pinned to the waist.

After seeing how much the clothes Lissa had picked out cost, I should have been prepared—but I wasn't. I stared at that small tag, mentally converting the American Dollars to Rubles in my head, then sank down on the small bench that was nestled against the wall as I let out a hushed curse in my native tongue. If my calculations were correct, my entire family could live for almost three years on the cost of just that one single dress. Sitting there, trying to control my breathing, I thought about all the things the Queen had bought that day; I realized just how much money had been wasted away on things she'd probably only wear once and then never even touch again… and it sickened me.

I didn't judge her for her actions—I'll be the first to admit I've wasted my mother's hard earned money in the past, but certainly never to the extent the queen had in one day. There was a time when I thought only of myself and what I wanted; I'd wheedled and begged Mama to buy me things I didn't really need in an attempt to fit in with the Royals back at school, not caring that she had to do without things she needed in order to give me what I wanted. That all changed the day I opened the door and saw my big brother alive, standing in front of me, when I'd thought I'd lost him forever. Seeing someone who has actually been brought back… it changes you, way deep down inside. It makes you realize what is really important—and having him home made me think about other things too. He seemed so much like the old Dimitri that day; he'd looked the same and talked the same as always… but a part of him was different. I realized that the first night, when I heard him cry out in his sleep—haunted by dreams of the things he had done and could never fully forget. Still… he was still willing to help when people needed him—even if it meant reliving his nightmares by facing a Strigoi down in a cave.

I suppose you could say my big brother's nightmares made a part of me grow up, and so did the way he put the needs of others over his own. Those things opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes people are suffering right in front of you, but they hide it away so completely that you'd never ever suspect it. They made me realize that we all have to do our part to help others, no matter what it might cost us personally; and I like to that think I'm a better person because of those lessons.

When I returned to school after Dimka's visit, I was more empathetic to other people's needs. I suppose you could say that I had an entirely new outlook; I still wanted to have a good time… but I no longer did it at expense of others. Before, I'd been guilty of going along with my friends when they mocked other students who were outside our group for superficial things like how they dressed or wore their hair—not stopping to consider the reason why their clothing was shabby or their shoes looked so worn. In tying to make amends for my behavior, I took the time to learn what I'd so blatantly ignored before—that a large portion of my classmates were orphans. Even some of the ones who had a parent still living were from families that barely made enough to make ends meet; they didn't get to go home for holiday visits or receive care packages from home the way I did—because their families couldn't afford it. The amount the queen had spent in a single hour could have helped those families or the orphans back at school; it was more than some of them would earn in a year… yet Lissa had never even thought about it.

I must have made some kind of sound without really being aware of it, because the next thing I knew, the door to the dressing room was rattling on its hinges.

"Vika? You okay?"

"I'm fine." I was willing to bet she wouldn't believe me since my voice trembled, betraying the fact it wasn't true at all.

There was silence for a moment, then the door began to rattle again. "No you're not. Open up—or I'll open it myself and I really don't wanna pay for a new door."

I knew she'd make good on her threat, so I took another deep breath—still feeling off kilter from my sudden realization—standing on shaky legs to go over and unlock the door. I tried to mask away my emotions as I cracked it open, intending to let her see I was alright and send her away—but Roza had something else in mind entirely. Shoving past me she glanced around the room as if she thought an intruder had somehow gotten in, then turned her attention on me, her eyes widening as they met mine.

"Shit Vik—you're almost as pale as Lissa! Sit down before you keel over on me." Steering me back over to the bench I'd just vacated, she kneeled down in front of me, gently taking my hand. "Is it the jet lag again? Maybe we've done too much in one day—you should've told me you were starting to feel bad again."

"No… It's these dresses… Roza—I don't belong here."

"Don't be stupid! Of courseyou do. What does that have to do with—"

"This kind of spending… it's a sin!" I shook my head, pulling my hand free; frustration welled up in me because I couldn't put into words the depth of what I was feeling. "Back home some of my classmates families can barely afford to eat—and here people are wasting this kind of money on stupid, meaningless clothes! There are orphans at my school wearing things that are full of holes—and the cost of just one of the dresses she's bought could buy them a whole damned wardrobe!"

"Vika… calm down." She recaptured my hand, holding it tight.

"I won't! The queen is a very nice person—but Roza… this isn't right!" I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as my indignant anger flared to life. "What she's spent just today could buy clothes for all of them—and there would probably be enough left over to help the needy families too."

She didn't respond at first, she just sat there studying me with those dark, dark eyes that were so much like her fathers. The silence wasn't comfortable; it filled me with unease. I was positive that by speaking negatively against her best friend I had inadvertently reopened the old wounds between us that I had inflicted when I hurled those hateful words at her back home, and I hated to think that it might cause a problem in our relationship. But I couldn't apologize. Not when I was right. Even if it angered my brother, I had to speak up and be the voice for those who couldn't.

"You've changed. A lot," she finally said, releasing my hands and standing up. "The Viktoria I met in Russia would have loved all this. Having expensive things bought for her… being treated like a Royal." Shaking her head, she turned without another word, walking out the door and leaving me to stare after her with my stomach in anxious knots and ridiculous tears filling my eyes. Only one day into our vacation and I'd created a situation that would make everyone uncomfortable—especially my poor, poor brother.

"Vika? Are you—Rose! What did you do to her? She's crying!"

My head jerked up at the sound of her voice, my eyes blurry with tears. I swiped at them as my gaze flicked from Lissa to Roza, wondering what she might have said.

"You need to tell her what you just told me, Viktoria. And you need to tell Abe too."

"Roza… no. I can't. It's not my place to—"

She cut me off, staring me straight in the eye. "She'd trying to help dhampirs—but if she doesn't know… there's nothing she can do. If you want to help Vika… to make a difference… sometimes you have to speak out. Even if other people think it's wrong or fucking improper—otherwise nothing will ever change." Reaching out, she gently wiped away the tears that continued to trail down my cheeks, her forehead wrinkling as she bit down on her full lower lip, like she was trying to decide if she should say more. "Did you know… I have a brother?"

I stared at her, completely shocked. She smiled at my reaction, pushing back a strand of my hair. "Remember the night you were… removed from that club? That's him. Not Pavel… he's the one who came to get you…the other guy… the one who stuck by Abe's side like he was glued there. He was like the kids at your school… so helping them… it's important to me too."

I rubbed my eyes, trying to process what she'd said. "I didn't know you had a brother… you never mentioned him."

"Hell Vika—I didn't even know Abe was my father until I got home. I didn't know about Warren until recently. When Abe started hanging around court more… he finally introduced us." She shrugged her shoulders, her smile widening as she talked about her family. "Abe took him in when he was just a little kid… he was an orphan, living on the streets. Apparently it impressed the great Zmey that this scrawny little half-starved kid had the balls to pick his pocket, so he took him home… and the rest is history. My father cares about helping dhampir kids—that's why you need to tell him too."

"Is he handsome—this mysterious brother?" I searched my mind, trying to remember him, but I'd been so enraged on the night she had mentioned that everything from that evening was a blur in my memory. "Perhaps I should meet him if he is. After all… you are dating my older brother, so it is only fair, yes?"

Chuckling softly, she shook her head as she motioned for Lissa to come closer. "Not you're type. At all. He's way to quiet for someone like you."

"Will one of you please tell me what's going on? Trying on clothes is supposed to be fun, not tear inducing." Lissa sank down on the bench beside me, looking between the two of us like we were both completely crazy.

"Vika has something to tell you… something you're not gonna like." Roza's eyes met mine as she backed up, leaning against the wall; it was a clear indication that I was on my own and she wouldn't be making the conversation any easier for me.

"I don't want to upset you… not after earlier." The look in her eyes when Spirit had been riding her was still to fresh in my memory; I didn't want to be the cause of another such attack—especially not with my grandmothers prediction of gloom playing through my head.

Roza's eyes fixed on the pendant that was resting around her friends pale throat. "Oksana is probably one of the strongest Spirit users I've met. She'll be fine. Now quit stalling and get on with it."

Still, I hesitated. It was too much for Lissa's curiosity to take; she reached down, grabbing my hand, and a moment later my skin prickled with goose bumps. Looking over at her my eyes met hers, and I could feel her trying to gain access to my mind.

A surge of soothing calm flowed into me, calming my anxiety. "Viktoria… Whatever it is that's troubling you, I want to help if I can. I don't like seeing my friends upset—and even though we just met, I consider you a friend. So please… tell me what's on your mind."

I knew what she was doing… but I couldn't call her on it; to do so would be admitting that I could feel her compulsion battering against my mind—and also let them know that it didn't work on me. It would let them both know that I was different—and that was something I couldn't bear. All I could do was nod my head, trying to make myself look like I was caught within her web, and let everything I'd been feeling spill out, telling her the same things I'd told Roza, but with much more detail. By the time I was finished, she'd slumped beside me and was leaning back against the wall with a stunned look on her face.

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about this? It wasn't like that at our school—"

"Yeah… it was. You just never noticed." Roza interrupted, her voice soft but holding a faint note of reproach. "I was a ward of the Academy, and there were a few others too. Aleks—the blonde guy who used to follow you around all the time before we ran away… and Josef—Eddie's friend. There weren't as many as there apparently are at Saint Basil's… but they were there Liss. I had you and your family to help me out… but the others weren't that lucky."

Lissa's forehead wrinkled up, her eyes dropping to the floor. " Was I really that self-centered? How could I have missed—"

"You had problems of your own." Roza pushed away from the wall, hurrying over to comfort her best friend. "I didn't figure it out myself until right before the accident—since I had you helping me out… I guess I kinda figured the others were getting help too. I didn't realize I was wrong until I overheard Josef asking Eddie if he had some old sneakers he could borrow cause there was a hole in the bottom of his and the track was tearing up his foot whenever he ran."

I glanced over at her, feeling a little confused. "But you aren't an orphan… surely your mother—"

Her humorless laugh cut me off. "My mother dropped me off and never looked back. The only time I ever heard from her was if Alberta called her cause I was in big trouble. From the time I was a toddler, Saint Vladimir's was my only home, Vika. Not all of us are as lucky as you are when it comes to moms."

Lissa cleared her throat; something about her expression warned me that I probably wouldn't like whatever she was about to say. "Vika—I promise you that I am going to do whatever I can to fix things, but please… while you're here don't deny yourself nice things. You deserve to be pampered just a little, and you're my guest."

I looked over at the dresses, worrying my lower lip between my teeth; I felt torn, completely unsure as to what I should say. I wanted to do the right thing, but would it end up doing more harm than good in the end? I didn't want to stress Lissa out any more than I already had—and I didn't want to risk embarrassing her by showing up at her luncheon in something that wasn't suitable.

"Look at it this way… if you don't accept them—Olena won't either. I don't know about you, but I think she deserves them. She works her ass off, shouldn't she get a treat for a change?"

Out of all the arguments Roza could have made—that one hit below the belt. She was right and she knew it; my mother did deserve to be spoiled for a change—she'd worked hard her whole life and gone without so much, just to provide for our family. "Maybe I could leave the tags on them and return them before I go home or something." I reached out, running my fingertips along the skirt of the dress that had set off my furious tangent; despite myself… deep down inside—I wanted it so badly that it actually hurt.

My gesture caught Lissa's eye; noticing the garment for the first time, she made a sound of delight. "Where did that come from? It's gorgeous!"

"Mr. Mazur had them set it aside for me… to wear to your party. But I cannot accept it—it is far, far too expensive."

"Bullshit. Consider it repayment for my room and board when I was in Russia—besides, you can't go to the ball for the Moroi Queen looking like Cinderella."

"Cinderella went to the ball in a beautiful dress." Lissa looked over at her friend, her face reflecting her amusement.

Roza rolled her eyes, heaving a dramatic sigh. "You know what I mean… before the fairy chick turned the rats into horses. When she was in rags."

"They were mice Rose. Not rats. Maybe I need to make you watch it again so you get all the facts straight." Lissa stood up, pointing to the dresses. "Try them on. All of them—and don't think you can get out of it by saying they didn't fit. I'll be waiting right outside and I want to see every single one of them on you."

"Alright… but that doesn't mean I'm accepting them."

"You will. I'm more stubborn than you—I promise." She glanced down at her watch, pulling out her phone. "Who is in charge of the dhampir training at Saint Basil's? It shouldn't be too early to get someone on the phone." She dialed as she spoke, not waiting for a response, obviously eager to tackle the problem while it was still fresh on her mind.

"Guardian Fyodor Zykov. He is an old friend of my mother's… he's the reason I was allowed to come—"

She held up a finger, silencing me as someone answered the call. "This is Queen Vasilisa Dragomir calling for Guardian Zykov… No… this isn't a prank. Please get him on the line." She rolled her eyes, exiting the room as she switched from English to Russian, but I could tell by what she was saying that he'd immediately picked up the call.

"Guardian Zykov is probably going to think I'm playing a prank on him. Having you or someone else call and pretend to be the Queen." I glanced over at Roza, smiling, imagining what was probably going through the man's mind as he listened to Lissa's sweet voice.

"She'll set him straight fast enough. Though… maybe we should prank call him later on… since he wouldn't be expecting it after dealing with the real Liss." Roza lingered in the doorway, her eyes on the dress her father had picked out for me. "You gonna need help with that zipper?"

"I'm going to try the others on first, but thanks just the same." For the first time I noticed what she was wearing; the dress Lissa had chosen was a dark blue color, with straps that tied behind her neck. "That looks very nice on you. She has good taste."

"Yeah… but I'm not gonna get it."

"Oh, so I see how it is. I can be forced into letting her buy me clothing, but it doesn't apply to you?"

"It's not that… this is a lot like one of the dresses Dimitri gave me. Back when he was… you know. I don't want to risk upsetting him or stirring up bad memories."

My eyes went to her neck; she'd pulled her hair up in a ponytail to get it out of the way while trying on clothes, so I could easily see the faint scars that lined the sides of her throat. "Was it… I don't understand how you could let him feed… you seemed so against that sort of thing before."

She shrugged, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. "I can't explain it, really. At the time… I blamed it on being addicted to his bite… but now I know there was so much more to it than just that. It was… a connection, you know? When he was feeding, it was like I had this knowledge that I was providing for him… giving him something he needed. It was easy to get caught up in the moment and forget he was a Strigoi. He was just Dimitri… my Dimitri… the man I loved… and he needed me."

"That's what my Mama said when I asked her about letting my father bite her. That it was about love, not about the other stuff." I tore my eyes away, not wanting to risk embarrassing her further. "I think that if you love someone… it's not wrong, no matter what people say. What two people do in private is their business—not something they should be judged for."

"Olena… is a very smart woman. If I had it to do all over again… I'd do the same thing—even knowing that other people would call me names because of it." Smiling, she shut the door behind her, leaving me to my task.

One by one I slipped on each of the dresses Lissa had chosen; from time to time Joy appeared with a few more in her hands—I took them without complaint, though I did shake my head and groan a bit each time she knocked on the door. I made quick work of it, trying not to look at the dress Abe had picked out, even though I was so eager to get into it that I could barely contain myself. With each garment I put on I hurried out to show the young queen, somewhat embarrassed by the display; she didn't let me off easily even though she was still on the phone—when I tried to make a quick escape she summoned me back, demanding I turn so she could inspect whatever I had on from every imaginable angle. When she was finally satisfied, I was dismissed with a smile and a wave of her hand, leaving her to whisper with one of the sales girls who was standing nearby, jotting down notes on a small tablet in her hands.

Finally I was down to the only dress that mattered; studying it I could see that Roza was right—I'd need an extra set of hands. I called out to her, asking for assistance; she appeared a few minutes later, fully dressed with several shoeboxes in her arms.

It took a few minutes to get everything situated into the dress—Joy had been right, it almost didn't fit. Roza had to struggle with the zipper once it reached my bust. "Good God Viktoria! I think your boobs have gotten bigger than mine."

"Everything from Russia is big—I would think you'd know that by know. Surely spending time with my brother—" I glanced up at the mirror, my voice trailing off as I let out a delighted gasp. The dress was everything I'd hoped for—and then some.

"Yeah… speaking of your brother… he's gonna have a fit when he sees you in this." She chuckled, dropping down to her knees and opening the first box of shoes. "She must have made a mistake, these are white—they don't match."

"She said something about dying them," I murmured, still entranced by my image in the mirror. "You don't think Dimka will like it?"

"It's not a matter of him liking it." She grinned up at me, tossing her hair back out of her face. "More like it's gonna be a matter of every man at the party who sees you in it liking it way too much."

"So you think it makes me look pretty?" I wasn't fishing for compliments, but next to her… I often felt like I was lacking, especially after I'd found out that Rolan had hit on her as soon as my back was turned.

"Vik… you look beautiful. I promise. Now put the shoes on and go show Lissa—maybe after this we can grab something to eat. I swear to God my stomach is trying to digest itself."

She stood up and I leaned on her shoulder as I stepped into the heels; they weren't very tall—which was definitely a good thing, since I was already pushing 5'9 in my bare feet. We walked out of the dressing room to get Lissa's opinion, and I swear I felt a faint prickle at the back of my neck as my grandmothers earlier words floated through my head.

'The dress you will wear to the dance is the kind that takes a man's breath away kotyonok. The kind of dress that makes you feel like a princess.'

Judging by the way I felt, and by the look of elation on Lissa's face as she caught sight of me and let out a small shriek of delight…another of my grandmother's predictions had just come to pass. I had no way of knowing what impact this particular vision would have on my life, but I was too excited to be concerned.

After all, it's not like one silly dress can change the course of fate, right?

A/N Four quick things:

1) If the spacing looks screwed up—sorry. I've been trying for 45 minutes to fix it, but every time I save the chapter in doc manager, but it keeps adding the spaces back in.

2) Not proofed because this one is 8,121 words long—and if I proof/edit it... I'll end up adding even more.

3) A seriously huge thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave a review—I really, really appreciate it and love hearing what you have to say.

and finally...

4) When I wrote the very last line, Rose smirked and said that some dresses have the power to change the world, start religions... and break a giant Russian's stoic control to smithereens. ;o)