Author's Note: Originally I planned on having Saladin vs. Charlemagne as the second fight of the Redemption fights but since it has already been done to death in many debates in sites like Deadliest Fiction as well as DAM already doing it in his good old Deadliest Warrior story from way back I decided to scrap it and replace it with this one since Attila lost his first Redemption match against Saladin.
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(A barbaric looking man in leather lamellar takes his bow and aims at the camera.)
Attila the Hun: The feared, merciless warlord whose brutal raids ravaged Europe.
(Attila rides up upon a defending soldier and impales the man with his Hunnic spear as his men pillage the village around him.)
(A Middle Eastern looking man clad in iron armor takes his khopesh and swings at the camera.)
Ashurnasirpal ll: The brutal Neo-Assyrian King who skinned his victims and nailed their flesh to the city gates.
(Ashurnasirpal draws his khopesh and charges to a Babylonian soldier and decapitates the man.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
During their last battles both generals were soundly defeated by their respective adversaries...
(Attila gets his legs cut off from Saladin's sappara before getting his head chopped vertically in half.)
...but now, each will be given a chance for redemption when they face off for the title of deadliest warrior.
(Ashurnasirpal is stabbed in the stomach from Julius Caesar's pugio before he is decapitated by the gladius.)
Here in our elite fight club we have gathered doctors, medical scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between two generals of the Iron Age...
Attila the Hun
Circa: 443 A.D.
Age: 37
Height: 5'6''
Weight: 145 lbs.
Armor: Leather Helmet, Leather Lamellar, Wooden Shield w/Leather Covering
Ashurnasirpal ll
Circa: 883 B.C.
Age: ?
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 140 lbs.
Armor: Iron Helmet, Iron Padded Lamellar, Wickerwork Shield
''Welcome back to another addition to our redemption matches readers. Today we're pitting two men who led brutal armies from the Iron Age when the infamous Hunnic warlord Attila the Hun takes on the cruel Neo-Assyrian King Ashurnasirpal ll.'' DeadAliveManiac started off.
''These are two men hardwired for warfare with Attila the Hun leading his armies into Europe and leaving a trail of death and destruction wherever he went. Ashurnasirpal was widely known as a brutal guy who skinned his victims alive.'' Zivon96 explained.
''Two men who led armies that destroyed everything they came across and it'll be interesting to see what happens when Hunnic cavalry meets Assyrian chariots.'' Demigod added.
''Brutal men who led vicious armies into battle, both are still remembered to this day in their respective home countries. Attila already lost to Hannibal in his debut chapter and then Saladin in the season 2 redemption. Will he manage to scrape up a win this time? Let's see which brutal general wins in the end.'' Its Rice Man concluded.
The merciless Hun warlord brought in an arsenal that allowed him and his armies to paint Europe with the blood of his victims
Short Range: Sword of Mars
Mid-Range: Hunnic Spear
Long Range: Hunnic Composite Bow
Special: Scythian Axe.
Mount: Przewalski's horse
In turn, the brutal Assyrian King used a deadly assortment of Iron weapons that left the deserts of his kingdom littered with corpses...
Short Range: Khopesh
Mid-Range: Assyrian Spear
Long Range: Assyrian Composite Bow
Special: Assyrian Dagger
Mount: Assyrian Chariot
These two generals rode into battle carrying two differently designed blades to slash and hack their enemie to pieces. Attila the Hun used the famous Sword of Mars and Ashurnasirpal used the khopesh.
The panel now review the tests from the weapons previous appearances before deciding what to do.
''Since we've already seen similar weapons to the khopesh go against leather lamellar we're gonna have our Attila expert test it out against the armor worn by Ashurnasirpal.'' DAM said.
Returning to represent Attila the Hun is expert Sean Pennington and to test out the performance of Attila's sword he will attack two torsos where one will be bare flesh and the other clad in the armor of Ashurnasirpal.
''Okay Sean show us what it can do. On 3...2...1...cut em up!'' DAM called out.
With a war cry Sean goes in for a swing right at the unarmored torso almost severing the head off. The body part hanging on only by a thin piece of gel. The expert then goes for a thrust into the gut with his sword before setting his sights on the armored torso. Rushing up to the armored target he first goes for a swing at the wickerwork shield slicing it completely in half.
''Not surprised there.'' Demigod commented.
With the shield out of the way Sean goes in for a thrust into the iron lameller getting some degree of penetration before swinging his blade as hard as he could into the chest portion of the armor denting it. With only the helmet left he raises his blade high and brings it down as hard as he could onto the helmet with a jarring 'clang'.
Zivon then walks over to assess the damage.
''I don't even need to really dive deep into the first target since it's so obvious and I've said this a trillion times before. You got the head off for an instant kill and thrust that blade into the gut for another kill.'' said the doctor before making his way to the second target, ''Obvious fail with the shield here and you're gonna take his arm off with that one swing. For the thrust into the iron lamellar we do have some penetration but you're only touching the skin underneath. It won't kill but will cause him discomfort. The swing to the armor generated enough force to break a rib or two and the blow to the helmet was around 60 PSI which is enough to give him a concussion.
The team now reviews the testing of te khopesh from 'Julius Caesar vs. Ashurnasirpal ll' to gauge the khopesh's performance and agree that it will have no problem cutting through Attila's leather armor.
Sword of Mars? Or the khopesh? Which blade gives it's general the edge? Our experts appear to be unanimous on the matter.
''I'm giving this one to Attila all the way. Superior metals in the blade and it hits a lot harder.'' DAM started off.
''Well I'm gonna disagree with you there and give this one to the khopesh. Yeah yeah it's made from an inferior metal but it will have an easy day slicing clean through Attila's armor.'' Zivon countered.
''Nah Attila wins this one easily. Sure his armor won't protect him from the khopesh but his weapons hits much harder and since this is a horse versus chariot battle it's much more effective.'' Demigod said.
''Attila will have a bit of struggle breaking through the iron lamellar and Ashurnasirpal's helmet but he can slash and get an instant kill and thrust and get an instant kill. The khopesh is too one-dimenstional.'' Rice Man concluded.
In short range weapons, the edge goes to Attila the Hun for the Sword of Mars.
When these two generals needed a weapon to impale their enemies they brought with them the most simple tools available. The panelists now review the testing of the Hunnic spear and the Assyrian spear before coming to their final decision.
''Okay, so just like the Sword of Mars we're gonna have Sean test the Hun spear against the armor Ashurnasirpal wore.'' DAM said.
The team how heads outside to test the effectiveness of the Hunnic spear against armor. The panel has set up an Ashurnasirpal stand in inside a replica Assyrian chariot. Sean will have two spears to prove his point.
''Okay Sean you're mounted up let's see what your spears can do against the armor. 3...2...1...CHARGE!'' Demigod called out.
Sean raises his spear high as he wills his horse forward and with a mighty battle cry begins galloping toward the stand in at full speed. After a few seconds of riding he comes within range and lowers his first spear and strikes the armor with a clang. He lets go just as he rides away from the target leaving the spear stuck inside the amror. He then turns his horse around and with his second spear he rides back toward the stand in and when he comes close he chucks his spear as hard as he could and manages to pierce the armor.
Zivon then makes his way over to check the damage.
''I find myself impressed with how much force this spear can hit compared to others. Your first spear managed to penetrate the armor about 2 inches in and you're definitely cutting the skin. Just an injury and the spear you threw actually pierced even deeper, about 3 and a half inches and now we're getting some minor damage into the flesh underneath. This man isn't dead and can still fight back.'' explained the doc.
The team now reviews test footage of the Assyrian spear and it doesn't take long for them to come to a decision.
''While the Hun spear is made of a superior metal and hits a lot harder the fact that it doesn't penetrate the armor deep enough to kill forces me to give the Assyrian spear the edge.'' DAM said.
''Totally with you on that one plus if the Huns throw the spear they can miss meaning they'll get impaled a few seconds later. Edge Assyrian spear.'' Zivon seconded.
''You're both right, edge Assyrian spear.'' Demigod added.
''For me though I'll go even since one hits harder but can't pierce the opposing armor enough to kill while the other can pierce Attila's armor.'' Rice Man concluded.
In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Ashurnasirpal ll for the Assyrian spear.
When the battle went to long range these two generals armed themselves with two of the ancient world's most lethal bows.
The team now reviews the test footage of both the Hunnic and Assyrian composite bows.
''Going by what we've seen how these two bows performed against opposing armor we've come to the conclusion that Attila's bow won't penetrate the iron padded lamellar armor of Ashurnasirpal. On the flip side the Assyrian bow will achieve some degree of penetration with Attila's armor but won't be enough to kill. Which bow do you guys give it to?'' DAM said apprehensively.
''In the end though I think we should give the edge to Attila since he is using off horseback and comparing it to the chariot the Assyrians used the former will have a much easier time getting kills.'' Zivon explained.
''The Huns are far superior archers compared to the Assyrians by what we've documented in history so I'm giving the Hunnic bow my edge.'' Deimgod said.
''I agree the Huns will have an easier time laying waste to the Assyrians not only with their skill but their horses as well. Edge Hunnic composite bow.'' Rice Man concluded.
In long range weapons, the edge goes to Attila the Hun for the Hunnic composite bow.
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Now the time has come for both generals to unveil their special weapons. The team will now review the test footage of both the Scythian axe and the Assyrian dagger so let's see what they decide to do.
''It's an obvious conclusion that the Assyrian dagger will pierce clean through Attila's armor so we'll have Sean test out the Scythian axe against Ashurnasirpal's armor.'' DAM said.
Sean now stands ready in front of a gel bust wearing the iron lamellar of Ashurnasirpal. He will have 15 seconds to deal as much damage as he can.
''Okay Sean kill it on 3...2...1...go!'' DAM called out.
Sean lets out a battle cry as he swings his axe downward as hard as he could onto the helmet. The axehead hitting with with enough force to leave a dent and causes the gel bust to shake violently on the stand. The Attila expert then swings sideways as hard as he could and hits the helmet on the side with a jarring clang that fills the air. He then swings several times into the iron lamellar until DAM finally called time.
Zivon then makes his way over to assess the damage.
''I'm a bit disappointed that the axe didn't get through the armor in a way we want but with the sensors on the head we're getting over 30 PSI which in itself is just a concussion so you're not fracturing the skull sadly. We detected similar amounts of force in the iron lamellar and you might break a rib or two but it still won't be enough to cause significant injury or death but you did manage to chip some of the lamellar away. In the end you'll eventually break your way through the helmet and armor.'' Zivon explained.
Scythian axe? Assyrian dagger? Which special weapons gives its warrior the edge?
''I think I'm gonna grow a pair of testicles here and give this one to the dagger. Sure it's made of the inferior materials but I simply can't overlook how easily it will pierce Attila's armor compared to the axe.'' DAM started off.
''You're wrong on every conceivable level as this category clearly goes to the Scythian axe. It's just more useful on horseback and I'm sure it will eventually get through Ashurnasirpal's armor.'' Zivon countered.
''Gotta go with the axe as well and for me its because it is made of a stronger metal. Oh, and you can wield it easier on horseback why would you try to use the dagger off a chariot?'' Demigod added.
''I think DAM is once again voted 3 to 1. Scythian axe takes the edge.'' Rice Man concluded.
''Whatever.'' DAM said rolling his eyes.
In special weapons, the edge goes to Attila the Hun for the Scythian axe.
For armor both these generals wore the pieces of protection made available to them. The team now review the durability of Attila's leather lamellar and Ashurnasirpal's iron lamellar and it doesn't take long for them to come to a conclusion.
''This is an obvious edge for Ashurnasirpal since his armor is made of a harder material.'' DAM started off, ''Ya'll morons better agree with me this time.''
''If it makes you feel better sure.'' Zivon said with a shrug.
''The iron lamellar will provide better protection against the weapons Attila is bringing and the only weapons I see getting through it to any degree is the sword of Mars and the Hunnic spear. Edge Ashurnasirpal.'' Demigod seconded.
''Attila may have the more flexible and lighter armor but it isn't protecting him from weapons like the khopesh, the spear and the dagger. Not to mention Ashurnasirpal has a better helmet too but the shield goes to Attila.'' Rice Man concluded.
In the armor category, the edge goes to Ashurnasirpal ll.
Now we will move on to the respective modes of transportation for these two generals. The team now review horses and chariots both Attila and Ashurnasirpal would've used and the edge is a rather easy one.
''This time Attila is gonna get the edge since as time went on horses proved to be more maneuverable and effective than chariots.'' DAM said.
''It's too easy to decide the edge. It's gotta go to Attila and the Przewalski's horse which were believed to be the horses the Huns used.'' Zivon seconded.
''Horses put chariots out of business so it gets my edge.'' Demigod added.
''Chariots went out of fashion years after Ashurnasirpal's time. I wonder why armies gradually moved on to these fine equines.'' Rice Man concluded.
In mounts, the edge goes to Attila the Hun for the Przewalski's horse
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Welcome back to the Fight Club. Here we reviewed and tested the weapons of two brutal Iron age generals to determine who is deadliest.
For short range weapons the superior materials of the Sword of Mars cut down the khopesh.
''Longer, made of a better metal the edge is frankly obvious.'' DAM explained.
Edge: Attila the Hun
For mid-ranged weapons, the Assyrian spear proved more practical over the Hunnic spear.
''Even though the Huns were known to throw their spears what if you miss? The Assyrian spear has one simple use and that's to poke you to death.'' Zivon explained.
Edge: Ashurnasirpal ll
For long ranged weapons the superior archery skills of Attila shot down the Assyrian composite bow.
''Both sides were known for using their bows off horseback and chariots but the Huns are far superior archers which gives them the edge.'' Demigod explained.
Edge: Attila the Hun
For special weapons the Scythian axe chopped the Assyrian dagger down to size.
''Superior metals, better and easier to use off horseback it gets the edge.'' Rice Man explained.
Edge: Attila the Hun
For armor, Ashurnasirpal's harder iron lamellar proved more protective over Attila's leather armor.
''Harder material, harder to penetrate to a degree, edge is obvious.'' Metal explained.
Edge: Ashurnasirpal ll
And finally, the superior agility and mobility of the Przewalski's horse outmanuevered the Assyrian chariot.
''The narrator literally just explained it.'' DAM quipped.
Edge: Attila the Hun
Now our resident metalhead and computer wizz Metal Harbinger will review the x-factors.
''Let's do this lads.''
''For generalship Attila scored an 88 to Ashurnasirpal's 78.''
''For metallurgy Attila will be rated an 89 to Ashurnasirpal's 69...pffft 69 ha!''
''For brutality Ashurnasirpal had a perfect 100 and Attila will be rated a 95.''
''For strategy I decided to give it to Attila with an 84 to Ashurnasirpal's 80.''
''For logistics went to Attila with an 88 to Ashurnasirpal's 85.''
''For troop training Ashurnasirpal will have a 100 to Attila's 90 since the Assyrians were outrageously dedicated to war and fighting.''
Now that the panel has reviewed the weapons, armor and x-factors of these two leaders Metal will now input the data into the battle simulator to determine which general is deadliest. The battle will pit Attila and 4 of his Hunnic horsemen against Ashurnasirpal and 4 of his Assyrian warriors.
''In the end only one general will redeem themselves so let's see who it is.'' Metal said.
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It was a calm sunny day along the banks of the Danube river and after having defeated the mighty Babylonian army the Neo-Assyrian King Ashurnasirpal ll has begun a new conquest of the West and has made his way into Hungary.
With him were four of his best soldiers all clad in the same armor. They were only able to get this far thanks to having some spare chariots with them and now the rumored Hunnic empire will face the might of Assyria.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 5
Noticing some movement atop a nearby hill the Assyrian King motions for his little caravan to stop the Assyrians all look up to the where the top of the hill was and spotted five figures on horseback. The figures are revealed to be none other than the merciless Hunnic warlord Attila himself with four of his best men. Attila had heard of rumors of a Middle Eastern kingdom expanding west and he was determined to stop them from intruding on his territory.
Attila the Hun: 5
Both Attila and Ashurnasirpal eye each other wearily and Attila would make the first move by drawing his sword and raises it high into the air and shouts for his men to charge at the Assyrians. At the same time Ashurnasirpal raises his khopesh and shouts for his chariots to move forward and both sides began their charge toward each other ready to battle.
As the Huns finally make their way down the hill one of the them takes his bow and strings an arrow onto it and takes aim at the approaching Assyrians and lets an arrow fly.
The man driving the chariot next to Ashurnasirpal takes the arrow right in his face and kills him.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 4 - Attila the Hun: 5
Shouting in anger he quickly reaches for the reigns as to not lose control of his chariot and orders his remaining men to fire back with their own bows. The remaining Assyrian warriors take their bows and fire a barrage of arrows at the approaching Huns and the Hun who killed their cohort is struck right in the neck knocking him off his horse.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 4 - Attila the Hun: 4
After a few more seconds of charging both sides soon come into fighting distance with each other and in the ensuing chaos a Hun with a spear lowers it as he comes close to Ashurnasirpal's chariot and tosses it at the King hoping to kill him. Unfortunately for the Hunnic horseman Ashurnasirpal manages to duck as the spear flies harmlessly over his head and quickly reaching for his spare spear he waits until the Hun warrior rides up to him and manages to impale him in the gut.
The Hun screams in pain as he is knocked off his horse and falls to the ground dying with the spear still in his gut.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 4 - Attila the Hun: 3
Attila and one of his other Huns were seen riding circles around a chariot they pinned down after killing the horse and continuously pepper the chariot and the Assyrian warriors with their arrows. An Assyrian raises his wicker shield hoping to provide some protection against the arrows only for the Huns to riddle his shield with the projectiles and feeling the weight of the arrows he is force to drop his shield and just as he does one of the Huns rides toward him with his spear and throws it.
The Assyrian was unable to duck in time and is struck in his chest knocking him off the chariot as his armor did its job in protecting him.
Sadly for him the wind was knocked out of him from the impact and just as he gets up Attila rides up to him with his sword and slices his head horizontally in half.
Ashurnasirpal: 3 - Attila the Hun: 3
His comrade ducks just as the other Hun rides up to him with another spear and jumps off the chariot to avoid being skewered right in the face with his bow in hand and he takes an arrow and somehow manages to kill the attacking Hun's horse.
The equine cries out in pain as it tumbles to the ground dead and pins the Hun down breaking his leg in the process. The Hun can only scream in pain as the Assyrian runs over and with his dagger jams it into the Hun's throat.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 3 - Attila the Hun: 2
Elsewhere Ashurnasirpal and his last warrior who he picked up in the ensuing chaos ride up to their comrade and he hops into the chariot to face the last two Huns. Ashurnasirpal and his men notice Attila and his horseman charging at them with their bows ready and on command the Assyrians string arrows onto their bows and both sides fire at one another in almost perfect unison.
Attila and his man however manage to maneuver their horses out of the way just as the Assyrians fired their arrows and fortunately for him and his man they manage to avoid being poked with arrows. However, one of the Assyrians was struck in the side and ends up knocking him off the chariot and as planned and Ashurnasirpal and his last man couldn't do anything as the Huns ride around the chariot and attack his last man and it would be Attila swinging his sword of Mars into the Assyrian's face cutting it almost in half.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 2 - Attila the Hun: 2
Ashurnasirpal orders his man to maneuver the chariot around but as they turn a full circle the Huns were already firing more arrows upon them. However by some damn miracle the Huns only struck the Assyrians in their armor which saves them and just as the Hun horseman rides up to them Ashurnasirpal has his man grab their last spear and thrust it into the Hun's horse face.
The blow kills the horse instantly as its brain was skewered and the Hun comes crashing down to the ground with his horse and he was stunned from the impact.
He tries to get up but was caught in the neck thanks to Ashurnasirpal swinging his khopesh downward and is decapitated.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 2 - Attila the Hun: 1
The Assyrians couldn't celebrate their kill when Attila rides by once more with his bow and fires his last arrow hitting the last Assyrian warrior in the eye.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 1 - Attila the Hun: 1
Smirking at his kill Attila turns his horse around and spots Ashurnasirpal standing tall in his chariot and both men narrow their eyes at each other. As if on cue both get their mounts forward and Ashurnasirpal would be first in firing his last arrows at the Hunnic warlord hoping to get a hit in. Attila responds by raising his shield and most of the arrows hit the shield but one manages to hit the Hun warlord in the side, his armor being penetrated and the pain forces him to drop his shield in the process.
Growling in pain Attila turns away just as he and Ashurnasirpal's chariot come close and takes the chance to pull the arrow out. Just as he turns around to face his adversary again Ashurnasirpal was already on him and both men swings their bladed weapons at the same time. The khopesh slices into Attila's side cutting into the armor while Attila manages to land a blow and both men knock each other off their respective mounts and both men are sent to the ground with a hard thud. Both men groan in pain as they take a moment to regain their bearings and after doing so both men get up at the same time.
Now it was down to this and both men held their respective blades in front of them and once again almost on cue both leaders charge each other with war cries. Ashurnasirpal goes in for a swing with his khopesh prompting Attila to raise his sword to block the attack.
The sword of Mars and khopesh colliding sent the sound of metal filling the air and both men exchanged blows unable to hit the other and it would be Attila who eventually manages to gain the upper hand and swings at Ashurnasirpal with all his might. The Assyrian King attempts to parry the blow with the khopesh only for the weapon to be knocked right out of his hands and before he could register what happened Attila thrusts as hard as he could into the Assyrian's gut.
The sword of Mars managing to pierce the armor enough to cut the skin and seeing this Attila forces the blade deeper into the King's body.
The following pain makes Ashurnasirpal scream in agony as Attila forces the blade in deeper to the point the blade itself was fully in his body cavity. With his opponent down and at his mercy Attila reaches into his belt and takes his Scythian axe and raises it high.
In one swift motion Attila brings the axe down onto his enemy's head cutting into the crown of the skull and with a hard twist he pops the skull open ending the Assyrian King's life.
Ashurnasirpal ll: 0 - Attila the Hun: 1
Attila watches as the popped open skull and corpse fall to the ground and with a wicked smile he raises his axe into the air and screams in victory.
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Winner: Attila the Hun
Attila the Hun: 541
Sword of Mars: 148
Hunnic Spear: 93
Hunnic Composite Bow: 200
Scythian Axe: 100
Ashurnasirpal ll: 459
Khopesh: 135
Assyrian Spear: 101
Assyrian Composite Bow: 194
Assyrian Dagger: 29
X-Factors
Generalship: 88/Generalship: 78
Metallurgy: 89/Metallurgy: 69
Brutality: 95/Brutality: 100
Strategy: 84/Strategy: 80
Logistics: 88/Logistics: 85
Troop Training: 90/Troop Training: 100
Armor Failure Rate
Leather Helmet: 5% - Iron Helmet: 2%
Leather Lamellar: 11% - Iron Lamellar: 5%
Wooden Shield with Leather Covering: 1% - Wickerwork Shield: 10%
Following a battle between two incredibly brutal generals Attila the Hun emerges victorious with over 54 percent of the wins. It was thanks to the superior metals in his weapons and superior agility of his horse which proved to be the biggest factor in his victory.
''While Ashurnasirpal was incredibly brutal his weapons and mount could not keep up with what Attila brought in.'' DAM explained.
''I knew it was gonna be a tough match but when we really look at it I kinda expected Attila to win it.'' Zivon seconded.
''Ashurnasirpal proved to be a very difficult opponent but Attila's superior mount and archery skills won the day.'' Demigod said.
''You gotta give credit to Ashurnasirpal's methods of brutality. While he had the harder armor Attila was able to negate that advantage with his superior archery skills and his harder hitting short and mid-ranged weapons and earned his redemption.'' Rice Man concluded.
(Attila is seen riding off on one of the surviving horses that the Assyrians used for their chariots. On his person was the khopesh once wielded by Ashurnasirpal as proof of his victory.)
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Next time on Redemption, it's a battle of the middle ages between two front line soldiers...
Byzantine Infantry: Byzantium's front line fighting force who proved to be the most effective and trained warrior of western Eurasia.
vs.
Frankish Warrior: Warrior of Francia who kept his kingdom standing from Antiquity to the Middle Ages.
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!