A/N Well who saw that coming... Chain Reaction as the second chapter. Surely not me XD Enjoy!
Series 2 Episode 13: Chain Reaction - 25:03
Tracy POV
As I moved away from the crowd slightly, after seemingly all the kids had given me a hug, I allowed my emotions to sort themselves for a moment. They rose up, filling me with love and sadness and fear and surprise, before they calmed. I took a could of deep breaths to ground myself.
I noticed Gina coming over. Her face was full of worry. She looked at me kindly. "Mike told me what happened. Are you ok?"
I gave her a smile. "Yeah, I think I am now. Just, a lot, you know."
Gina gave me a smile, though there was sadness in her eyes. "Why didn't you talk to us? We would have been there. I tried to ask what was wrong and you were just closed."
I sighed. "I just, I thought I had to deal with it on my own, now I'm an adult. I thought I'd be able to stay on top of it." I looked sadly to the doorway, remembering my earlier collapse. "I didn't expect that to happen."
"Well," said Gina, "you don't have to deal with it on your own. Mike will always be there for you, you know that." She gave me a smile. "And I'll always be around if you need to talk."
l gave her a grateful smile. I'd been scared of everyone finding out, finding out I wasn't coping living in my own. That they'd see me as childish or pathetic. I looked to the kids for a moment, and remembered their love.
I paused for a moment. "What did Mike say?"
"Just that you had a panic attack and collapsed. He was very private about what went on in the quiet room. He said it was up to you whether you told me or not."
I sighed. "Cam's extended her contract. Six months." I could feel my voice begin to wobble. "Living without her isn't as easy as I predicted."
"Oh, babes." Gina placed a hand on my back. "It's perfectly natural to feel anxious when starting out on your own. Nothing to be ashamed of."
"I know, I just..."
Gina gave my back a rub as I trailed off. "It's hard to share what's on your mind sometimes, isn't it?"
I nodded.
"Well, like I say I'm always here. Even if you can't get the words out properly. Just talk to us, ok?"
"I will."
Mike had driven home the idea of talking earlier, and Gina saying it now solidified it in my head. Despite the kids needing to be a priority, Mike and Gina both wanted me to use them if I needed support.
I gave Gina a hug. She seemed stunned for a moment, before she hugged me loosely back.
The hug lasted a moment before she pushed me away. "Go on, go and enjoy your party. You deserve it."
I gave her a smile. "Thank you."
She gave me a smile, before waving me off, clearly not thinking her actions deserved any thanks. I watched as she made her way back over to the kids, before I went to join them.
I was going to enjoy my party.