10 – Date Night

It was another lazy afternoon in the cluttered office of Team Chaotix. Vector's hulking mass took up most of the couch as he sat eating a pint of ice cream. There was nothing to watch on TV, so a sappy soap opera was playing, mostly just for background noise.

"These shows are always so lame." Vector mumbled, shovelling another spoonful into his mouth. "The guy literally has no charisma or charm, yet he still gets the girl in the end. What a load of garbage. You gotta be impulsive and confident if you want to be romantic."

Espio, who was busy polishing his kunai, walked over to the TV. "There's more to it than that, Vector." He said frankly, staring into the shimmering blade. "It's about subtlety, mystery… displays of affection that go beyond surface level."

"Oh, give me a break, Shakespeare." Vector replied, chuckling. "If I ever go back to the 1900s, I'll give you a call."

"You wouldn't know romance if it hit you in the face, Vector." Espio quickly shot back, deadpan as always. Just then, Charmy buzzed into the room excitedly.

"Ooh! Are we fighting? What're we fighting about?" He exclaimed, eager for a bit of drama.

"Ol' Casablanca here thinks he's more romantic than me." Vector said, jokingly. "He thinks being all mysterious and poetic will win over the ladies."

"I don't think that." Espio rebutted. "I know it. The key to romance is certainly not loud, overbearing gestures or boastful advances."

Charmy buzzed around their heads, unable to contain his energy. "Really, guys? Both of you have got it all wrong! Everyone knows girls always go for funny guys! You gotta get them presents too, like flowers!"

Vector scoffed. "Charmy, you're a kid. What do you know about romance?"

Charmy landed on the desk, folding his arms. "I know plenty! More than you guys, that's for sure!"

Espio shook his head. "I can't decide if you're both simply naïve… or delusional."

Vector smirked, sensing an opportunity. "Alright, boys. Why don't we settle this properly? Let's make a bet. The first one to get a date wins… and the losers have to clean the office for a month."

"Hmph, easy." Espio declared. "Prepare for your humiliation."

"Alright, this'll be fun!" Charmy shouted.

Later that evening, the trio found themselves at a local speed dating event, each armed with their own strategies to win over the potential dates. The cramped function room buzzed with chatter as nervous singles awaited their turns.

Vector was up first. He was wearing his best leather jacket, that he had dug out from the back of his wardrobe. It was a bit snug, as he hadn't worn it for several years. He also reeked of cheap cologne and his trademark gold chain had been noticeably polished. Grinning widely, he confidently approached his first table, where a nervous-looking lizard girl was sitting.

"Hey there, gorgeous." He said, flexing slightly. "Ever been serenaded by a crocodile?"

The woman blinked, taken aback. "Uh, no, I can't say that I have."

Deftly pulling an acoustic guitar from behind his back, Vector leaned back on his chair suavely and started to strum some… slightly out-of-tune chords. His unfortunate partner sat politely, wincing a little as he started to sing.

"Oh, my lizard love, you make my heart go wild… You're my scaly angel, and I'm your… crocodile…"

Despite the look on his partner's face, Vector's song continued on for several more verses, earning many confused stares from across the room. He ended with a final strum and a hopeful grin, only to be met with a very hesitant applause and a strained smile.

Espio, meanwhile, had taken his seat and was ready to impress. A cute fox girl sat across from him and introduced herself. "Hi there! My name's Sienna. It's nice to meet you."

"I go by Espio." The chameleon said, looking contemplatively into the distance. "I am a detective, and I practice the art of ninjitsu." He attempted to assume a meditative pose, but the small, cheap chairs made it difficult.

The fox's smile slipped a little. "Oh, that's… unique. So, you're a ninja?"

Espio nodded. "Yes, stealth and precision are key in my line of work. Most of my time is dedicated to meditation and honing my skills."

Sienna raised an eyebrow. "So… how would I fit into your schedule?"

"Simple." Espio replied with a smile. "You would be my muse, my inspiration. You see, I also dabble in poetry." He produced a small piece of paper and a quill from beneath the table. He quickly penned a haiku on the spot, as Sienna sat there baffled. After a few moments, Espio handed her the poem and sat back in his chair to read her reaction. Sienna gave a nervous chuckle and read it quietly.

Cherry blossoms fall,
A whisper of love's sweet kiss.
Your eyes meet my soul.

"That's, uh… nice, I guess. It's a little vague, but… cute." Sienna commented, desperately waiting for the bell to ring.

Espio sighed, his stoic persona slipping a bit. "It's meant to evoke deeper emotions." He started to explain but, at that moment, the bell rang and his partner made a hasty retreat.

At the next table, a pink porcupine lady sat patiently, waiting for her potential soulmate to arrive. The bell finally rang, and Charmy buzzed excitedly over to the empty chair. He had a bunch of wild flowers in his hand, most likely picked on the way to the venue.

"Hey there! My name is Charmy! I think you're super pretty!" He exclaimed, thrusting the flowers forward. The porcupine blinked and tilted her head in bewilderment.

"Uh… why is there a kid here?" She said, looking around nervously.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Charmy whined. "I said something nice about you, so now you gotta say something nice to me. I even got you flowers and everything."

"Look, kid, you're cute and all but I'm not a babysitter. I don't even know how you managed to get in here."

Just then, a burly security guard grabbed Charmy by the arm and escorted him out, despite his protests. When he was thrown out into the cold night, he saw Vector and Espio there waiting for him, looking thoroughly dejected.

"No luck, guys?" Charmy said sheepishly.

"Hmph, it seems the appreciation for subtlety and nuance has diminished over the years." Espio replied, arms folded in frustration.

"I used all my best moves." Vector grumbled. "Didn't get a single number. Ladies these days are too picky, I tell ya." He looked at his friends and chuckled. "Look at us. Can you believe we went through all this just to win a lousy bet?"

"It seems we have all failed." Espio said, smiling. "So now we must face our punishment, don't you agree?"

"Aww, man…" Charmy moaned. "Romance is dumb."

That evening was filled with banter and chaos as the hapless crew set about trying to clean their office- an enormous task that would take them all night. Luckily for them, they had nowhere else to be.

***** END *****