"What did you do Sasuke? What the fuck did you do?" Naruto couldn't stop shouting. It was the only thing keeping him together. If he stopped shouting, he would have to think, and that would break him.
There was so much blood. A part of him knew he was covered in it too. But it was nothing compared to how Sasuke looked as the medics took his body from Naruto.
On the battleground, in a temporary moment of insanity, Naruto had tried to wipe it of him. Kakashi had come to restrain him, but it was Sakura's words that had worked.
"Stop it Naruto. It could hurt him." She'd yelled in her medic voice, though she had been shaking just as badly as Naruto.
How had they gotten to the hospital? Naruto wasn't sure. He only knew that he was somehow in the hallway, running to keep up with the medics carrying Sasuke.
He was shouting at him, at them; He didn't even know what.
"Naruto, Naruto" He wasn't how many attempts it took for him to realize Kakashi was trying to get his attention. "You can't go with him. Stop. Stop, listen to me."
Naruto growled. He could feel Kurama's chakra leaking out of him already. As if anyone could stop him from going with Sasuke. He barely registered Kakashi's shocked face.
Then, it was Sakura in front of him.
"Naruto, I will take care of him. Do you hear me? I promise you. Tsunade-sama is there already. Can you hear me? You can't go in there."
Baa-chan was here. She could do it; she could heal anyone.
He had gone to get her to save Sasuke before, hadn't he?
They'd been so young.
Kurama's chakra dissipated slowly. Naruto felt tears fill his eyes, but it wasn't the time. His body was shaking. Adrenaline, shock, rage, terror.
Sakura was gone already. Someone's arm was around his shoulders, both in comfort and in an attempt to slowly pull him away from the doors where the medics carryinh Sasuke had disappeared.
"No" Naruto snapped, panicked.
"We're just going to sit right here." It was Kakashi. Kakashi was the one holding him up, pulling him towards the seats on the side of the hospital hallway.
Naruto let himself be pulled.
Baa-chan could save anyone. Baa-chan could heal any injury.
"Why did he do it? Why? I would have healed. I would have…"
Naruto wasn't aware he was asking the questions aloud for a long time. Regardless, Kakashi did not say anything in response.
Was it second, minutes or hours? Time passed. Naruto didn't move. He didn't take his eyes off the door.
Twice he jumped up without warning, as if to burst through. Sakura's words be damned. Kakashi managed to stop him, barely.
Naruto kept thinking back to that moment. Replaying it in his mind, over and over again.
He'd been focused on Obito's attack. Poised to counter it; Maybe. When he became aware, in a split second, of Madara's body, just behind his shoulder. In a moment so fast that it defied definition, he realized that he was, perhaps, going to die.
Then he was lying on the ground, somehow; Watching Madara's hand impale Sasuke's chest, at the same time as Obito's jutsu hit Sasuke's side, and it. It…
Oh god.
There had been so much blood.
Naruto had screamed before he had even recognized what had happened. The world had frozen, with Madara's hand in Sasuke's chest, and Sasuke's side, blown apart.
This is where Naruto's memories changed in quality. He remembered in flashes. He had grabbed Madara, somehow. How?
He'd pulled Madara off Sasuke. The sound his hand hand made as it was ripped from Sasuke's body… Naruto had thrown him aside, like he was a doll. Or had that been Kurama? Naruto couldn't be sure. If it was, it was like nothing he had felt before.
Obito; He'd done something to Obito, he wasn't sure what. But he knew the man had not been a concern anymore.
And Sasuke had just lay there, looking up.
His Rinnegan. His fucking Rinnegan, open to the sky.
The Rinnegan he'd used to switch places with Naruto, just as Madara's arm had been about to impale him.
"Why?" Naruto asked Kakashi. "Why would he do that?"
But if Kakashi knew the answer, he didn't say it aloud.
It was an eternity later when the doors opened, and Sakura stepped out. Naruto was standing in front of her before he even knew he had stood up.
"He's alive" she said, and Naruto was already running, the door swinging on its hinges behind him.
Naruto barely registered that there was anyone else in the room.
He stared at Sasuke's body on the bed. He was buried in bandages and tubes and seals, but his face, still dusty from battle, looked oddly untouched. As if he would open his eyes any moment.
"We don't know if he'll wake up" Tsunade said quietly "It's a miracle he is alive."
Naruto barely heard her. He walked to the bed. He looked for any place where he could touch Sasuke without hurting him.
He ended up putting his palm on the other man's forehead, as if Sasuke was a child with a fever. He was cool to the touch. Naruto, his fingers shaking, moved his palm and held it just above Sasuke's mouth, until he felt the barest hint of a breath.
He wanted to scream again, but he was somehow absurdly worried about disturbing Sasuke's sleep.
Why. Why. Why. He asked, aloud or in his mind, he wasn't sure.
Sasuke was standing side by side with Naruto. Standing where he didn't think he'd ever be again, and yet it was so frighteningly easily to fall into step with each other, as if no time at all had gone by.
They had needed the easy synchronicity to last against Madara for as long as they already had, barely.
Sasuke was not delusional, he recognized that this could be the end. He'd always thought, somewhere deep inside, that his end would come at an Uchiha's hand; he'd craved it even. There was a poetic beauty to it, everything turning out how it should have the night of his parent's death.
Despite this, he still fought with everything he had, because that's who he was, and because the blond idiot was trusting him without hesitation to cover his side, despite everything. The idiot.
Still as they fought. Sasuke found that all in all, he didn't care much for living beyond this war.
So, when he saw the opportunity, he did not feel so much as an internal battle, as an internal breath, letting go.
It happened the way it did for him in battle sometimes, where in his mind, he saw exactly how it would all play out.
He saw Madara coming at him, lightning fast, palms out for a strike. It was not a real attack. Madara believed he would dodge it, because Sasuke could. They both knew it.
But if Sasuke didn't dodge, Madara's palm would go right through him. Madra would be disoriented, taken aback for just a second with one hand stuck in Sasuke's body, and Naruto, being right there, would finish him off. He was an idiot, but Sasuke knew in battle he could react as fast as he needed to.
It would be a lethal blow to him, and it would be the end of Madara.
He only had a split second, but at the end, it wasn't a hard decision.
Time slowed. The Sharingan allowing him to take in much more information that should have been possible in such a short moment, right before the impact.
Sasuke saw Madara's eyes widen a fraction as he realized Sasuke had not dodged. Sasuke felt a moment's peace, a rush of pride that he would see things play out actually as he had thought.
Except, inexplicably, Naruto turned towards him right then.
Except impossibly, Naruto, with no Sharingan, seemed to see exactly what was happening.
Sasuke's eyes met Naruto's. He thought, fleetingly, that in the moment before death, maybe he had it in him to smile at Naruto, just this once.
He didn't.
Then, everything went to hell.
Sasuke was on the ground.
Madara's hand stuck out of Naruto's body.
Naruto's gaze was still locked to Sasuke's, where he'd shoved him.
And Naruto had the gall to smile, just a little, before he coughed, spattering blood all over Sasuke's face.
Sasuke knew exactly what he had done then, even if he was not sure how.
He did not know his eyes had changed once more.
But he knew that Obito was dead within a minute.
He knew his Chidory cut through Madara's arm as cleanly as it did any mortal's. Sasuke did it that way on purpose, so his hand would stay inside Naruto to staunch the flow of blood.
He knew Madara was gone soon after, trapped in a Genjutsu or burnt away in black flame; Sasuke did not care which of his attacks got rid of the man who had been a god, but who had made a grave mistake in the end.
Sasuke did not care. Naruto's eyes had closed by the time he was done. By the time, Sakura and Kakashi reached them, and Sasuke picked him up and called the hawk to carry all four of them.
As they flew to the hospital, he looked down at Naruto's body and told him, with perfect enunciation "I'm going to kill you for this."
No matter how many questions Sakura and Kakashi asked, he didn't say anything else. They weren't even sure if he heard them.
They had barely touched the ground when they were surrounded by medics. It seemed as if everyone in the entire hospital was there, summonsed by kakashi's messenger, but Sasuke's eyes focused on one.
He stepped off the hawk's back with Naruto in his arms and passed by the medics, deaf to their alarmed protests.
He stood in front of the woman who had healed him once. She took Naruto's body from him without hesitation, meeting Sasuke's eyes for barely a second before she sprinted inside, carrying him like he weighed less than a child. The rest of the medics ran inside after her, and suddenly it was all empty and quiet.
Sakura jumped off the hawk and ran past too, right as Sasuke turned away and ran in the other side.
If Sakura or Kakashi yelled something after him, he didn't know.
Sasuke ran, jumping from roof to roof, all the way to the border of the village. A few times he was attacked; by Genins or Anbus, he wouldn't know, as Susanoo knocked them aside with barely any thought required of him.
But for some damned reason, once he reached the border, he just stopped.
Naruto was their war hero, he reminded himself. It was a long time since the days when he would be kicked out of the village shops.
But didn't Sasuke know better than anyone that this village could claim you as a hero with one breath, and stab you in the back with the next?
Naruto would be lying there, completely defenseless to any attack. A genin could get to him. A civilian could get to him.
The woman, the Hokage would protect him. Kakashi would protect him. Sakura would be there.
You don't care. Sasuke reminded himself, and then, he laughed, sounding a little insane even to his own ears.
Naruto had friends, people who loved him, like he'd always wanted. Sasuke had seen that in the war. He would be protected.
But those people did not know what Sasuke knew about the village. They wouldn't know to be on guard for betrayals. They would be naive, thinking only about the off chance of having to protect Naruto from outside attacks, not against attacks coming from the inside.
And Naruto would just be lying there.
Damn it.
Sasuke turned back, running faster and faster, until he was a blur to any eyes that happened to blink his way. This time, no-one could even tell he was passing, so there was no one to try and attack him.
Sasuke knew they wouldn't let him into the room. Not that it mattered. He went straight to the window. Naruto's chakra stood out to him like a beacon, and he allowed himself one relieved breath.
He'd known Naruto would survive. He'd known. He hadn't run away out of any fear that that would not be the case. He hadn't run away because he thought he couldn't take hearing anything to the contrary. He hadn't. And if he felt his breath come easier and his vision sharpen from relief, well, no-one would ever have to know about it.
Sasuke watched the healing flurry from the window, barely able to see Naruto's body amidst the bodies of the medics. He kept his Sharingan activated, aiming to gleam any information about the myriad of medical jutsus that were thrown around. He didn't have enough foundational knowledge to understand how most of them worked, but with the Sharingan he would at least be able to tell for certain if any were meant to cause harm.
Not that he really thought someone would attempt to assassinate Naruto with the Hokage right there in the room, but he would not risk it.
As if sensing his thought, the woman looked out the window, straight at him. Their gazes met for a moment. Sasuke would be able to stay, no matter what kind of forces she sent at him, but it would be inconvenient. If she mustered enough ninjas, maybe they could distract Sasuke for long enough that someone could get to Naruto. He would have to dispatch of anyone who came quickly.
Then, the woman looked back down at the jutsu she was casting as if he was not there.
Sasuke followed the jutsu as much as he was able to and felt his respect for the woman increase. He tried to pull the technique apart layer by layer, putting it together with his knowledge of biology, to understand how it worked. It was complex enough to grab his attention. He wouldn't think about how the jutsu he was analyzing might be the only thing keeping Naruto alive.
Sasuke thought that he would learn some medical jutsus after this. Once Naruto was awake, and he was far away from this village. This village that had thought them how to kill when they were children but hadn't thought them the simplest form of healing.
He wondered, had he known some, any, would he have been able to do something right there, in that moment when Naruto had coughed up blood?
It was an eternity later. Sasuke knew, because his eye was burning from the efforts of keeping the Sharingan activated in a way that they hadn't in a long time. Maybe it was foolish of him to expand Chakra in that way, but it meant that he knew, even before the woman looked up at him again for the briefest of moments, that Naruto lived.
Later, after the room has slowly emptied, it was Sakura who stepped towards the window. Sasuke had noticed her in the room too. Her jutsus had been second in complexity only to the hokoage's. She looked tired as she opened the window. If she was surprised that he had come back, she didn't show it.
Not warm, but not hostile, he told Sasuke "We don't know if he'll wake up."
When the room was quiet but for the sounds of the machines attached to Naruto, Sasuke stepped inside from the window ledge. He had been right to come back after all. They had left the room empty. Empty. Not a single guard.
Even knowing that he was right there.
He could have killed Naruto with a single Shuriken.
He felt his hands fist at his side, to control the shaking rage that came over him at the thought.
He stepped towards the bed. He looked at the tubes coming in and out of Naruto's body, trying to discern what they were for. He looked at the way the bandages were wrapped, inferring where the damage was concentrated. He looked at each seal with the Sharingan, better able to analyze them than he had been with the jutsus, until he could confirm that they were each perfectly done, operating at full capacity.
He watched the flow of Chakra in Naruto's body for a long time.
Finally, he allowed his eyes to follow the flow to Naruto's head, and then, deactivating his eye for the first time, he looked at Naruto's face
He would've have looked asleep had Sasuke not known what he looked like sleeping: All sprawled limbs and open snoring mouth. Not like this.
Sasuke had the urge to open Naruto's eyes with his own hands, forcing the boy to look at him.
He never had to force Naruto to look at him.
It had been a long time since they were in a room together and Naruto's eyes had not been focused on him already.
"You had no right." Sasuke told him, his voice coming out in a whisper, his throat rough and cracked from disuse.
"You had no right Naruto" he said again, and then, he slipped into the shadows at the corner of the room, standing guard.
"This is morbid."
"I'd heard you were a sadist"
"Who said I wasn't enjoying it?"
"Your face."
"Well, I'd heard you were a sweet woman."
"Who said that?"
"… Fine, literally no-one"
"You need to leave" Sakura told him gently. Naruto hadn't noticed her come into the room.
He tried to muster a smile for her sake, but whatever he managed to do with his face didn't seem to reassure her.
"Maybe later Sakura-chan." He said eventually.
Sakura sighed and came forward. She checked the seals on Sasuke, and looked at the machines in a way that had become familiar to Naruto in the past few days. How long had it been?
"Nothing's going to change if you leave" Sakura told her quietly.
Naruto knew she meant it as reassurance, but he felt it like a punch in the gut. He didn't say anything.
"Naruto" Sakura snapped. "Look at yourself."
Naruto blinked down.
Right, he had washed his hands and face, but the rest of him was still covered with days old blood.
"Like you're bothered by a little blood." Naruto joked weakly.
Sakura didn't look amused. "He's stable. Do you not trust the Tsuande-sama's judgement?"
Naruto sighed "It's not that, Sakura-chan." He looked back at Sasuke's face "I'm…" Naruto tried, but he couldn't voice the thought.
Sakura seemed to have heard something in his voice anyway "What are you afraid of?"
Naruto swallowed. He could not quiet down the part of him that thought if he left, Sasuke would just be lying here, ready for anyone with a grudge and a sharp kunai to find him, more defenseless than he'd ever been before.
And if not a grudge, then someone who had a taste for Uchiha blood, for his eyes. His damned priceless eyes.
Naruto felt his heart beat faster at the mere thought. He had to swallow down the rage, as if this imaginary assailant was right there in front of him.
Sakura put a hand on his shoulder and Naruto almost jumped out of the chair, his nerves so on edge that he would have thrown Sakura to the side had he taken control of himself a second too late. He knew that Sakura realized it too, and she was kind enough not to mention it, to keep her hand there anyway.
"Look, I brought you a change of clothes. There is a shower right down the hall"
Naruto thought about it, but he would not be able to get here fast enough.
"What If I stay with him while you're gone?"
Naruto looked at the girl for a moment, then looked back to the bed.
"I trust you with my life Sakura, you know that, right?"
Sakura sighed.
At the end, Naruto's clone sat beside Sasuke's bed while his body showered.
Being a war hero came with some benefits because when it became clear Naruto wasn't leaving, they transferred Sasuke to another room, where there was another bed, more space, and even a desk. People came to visit and they all asked what had happened. Naruto told them, as much as he was able to. The war was over thanks to him, they said. He told them he would not be here if it hadn't been for Sasuke. They never seemed to know what to say in response.
Almost everyone tried to talk him into leaving at least once, even Hinata, in her quiet way. Every single person tried but Shikamaru, which is how Naruto knew all the talk of him being a genius was true.
Kakashi came often, despite how busy he was with helping the village recover from the war, and all the talk of him taking over the hokage office. He brought Naruto jutsu scrolls, and often sat with him in silence, looking over at Sasuke's body. Naruto appreciated that he was coming for both of them.
Kiba, when he came, talked so much that even Naruto found himself briefly distracted from his thoughts, and the boy even managed to make him laugh sometimes. He'd taken to calling Sasuke 'the boyfriend'. "How's the boyfriend today?" He asked often, and Naruto would shrug, wishing he had more news to offer.
Baa-chan, after she finally stopped threatening to drag his body away from the hospital by force, came to check on Sasuke when she could.
"He is no worse" she'd say, but he was also never better.
Lee came and Naruto did what he could to absorb some of his optimism. He was one of the ones who talked to Sasuke and Naruto both, his capacity for forgiveness limitless. Naruto felt the kindness like it was directed at himself.
Sai came and somehow refrained from making any jokes about how Naruto, living in Sasuke's room, had definitely seen his penis by now. Though Naruto felt the untold joke hang in the air between them anyway.
Ino came with flowers and asked if he wanted her to try and peak into Sasuke's mind. It was kind of her, and so brave, and Naruto considered it, despite knowing how dangerous it would be for her. But at the end, Sakura let them both know that the medical nins who specialized in comas had already tried everything they could, but Sasuke's brain was sealed tight.
Sakura was in the hospital every day. They had their meals together often, and sometimes she sat behind the desk as she poured over scroll after scroll, trying to find something they had overlooked that could help.
The first people who came into the room after Sasuke were Sakura and Kakashi. Sakura nodded at him quietly and then went to Naruto's side, checking on him in a different way that Sasuke had done before. He wondered briefly how the girl would react if he asked her to teach him.
Not well, he imagined. He had tried to kill her before after all.
Kakashi came and stood beside him. Out of everyone, these two were the least likely to attack Naruto, but Sasuke was still on guard.
"I take it you're not leaving?" Kakashi asked. He looked tired but still had enough energy to fill his voice with his particular brand of infuriating sarcasm. Sasuke found he remembered it much too well from the old days. He said nothing in response.
Kakashi sighed "There are going to be a lot of people who won't be happy about this, who will want to remove you by force."
"They can try." Sasuke said simply, because it was the truth.
Kakashi shook her head "How did I end up with the students with the worst attitudes."
Sasuke thought about snapping at him for calling him his student, but it hardly seemed to matter. Not a lot seemed to matter.
"The hokage spoke for you, to let you stay."
Sasuke felt a sort of distant surprise. What could the woman want from him? In the brief memories she had of him, she had seemed to dislike him, even as a child.
"Why?" He asked eventually, having determined that the answer could be of possible importance.
Kakashi gave him a look "Why do you think?"
Sasuke gave him a look back, not saying anything.
"Let's not pretend we both don't know how much he'd want you to be here." Kakashi told him and looked to the bed.
"It doesn't matter what he wants." Sasuke snapped.
Kakashi laughed.
"I'll take watch when you need to shower." He said and flashed his Sharingan at Sasuke for good measure.
Sasuke stayed.
People came to visit Naruto, so many people, and Sasuke wanted so much to not let them in. Each one was a potential danger, and a certain annoyance.
But he gritted his teeth, stood in his corner, and reminded himself that he could kill any of these people in the blink of an eye.
Almost all of them sent him wary glances when they came, ranging in hostility, nervousness and sometimes, curiosity.
It was worse with those who had known him, once upon a time. They seemed to think that the years they'd shared with him in the academy as children gave them some sort of duty to acknowledge him. Despite the fact that both him and them would have been more comfortable if they did not.
The girl who was obviously in love with Naruto came often and with flowers. She surprised him the most perhaps.
"Sasuke-kun" she said in simple acknowledgment the very first time she came, and every time after, as if it was no surprise to see him there. Sasuke never responded; she didn't seem to expect it.
Kiba, the first time that he came growled at Sasuke like a dog.
Second time, he said "You're still here.", more hostile than surprised.
Third time, he nodded at Sasuke and pointed his chin towards Naruto "So, how is he?"
Sasuke snapped "I'm not his keeper."
And the boy had the gall to laugh "Could have fooled me."
Then, bouncing off to sit in his usual place at Naruto's side he muttered to the sleeping boy "Never understood what you see in him."
The fourth time, he told Naruto "Just wake up already and put your boyfriend on a leash, will you? He is scaring the children."
Shino came and surprised Sasuke by giving him a silent, cordial nod, which for reasons unbeknown to himself, Sasuke returned. Perhaps, after the other idiots, he couldn't help but appreciate the silence.
An old man came who looked somewhat familiar, but Sasuke could not place him until he took out two take away containers and set them by Sasuke's side. One filled with noodles and one with hot soup.
"Mix them well before you eat" he recommend and smiled at Sasuke, his eyes closing, "Naruto must be so happy that you're here." Sasuke unsure of what else to do and uncharacteristically uncomfortable, found himself looking in his pockets for money to pay for the food, but the man stopped him with a stern look.
Shikamaru came, and tsked at Sasuke, and then tsked at Naruto's body on the bed. Sasuke thought he would have some welcome quiet then, but after a few moments the boy said, "You don't know how many meetings I've had to go to because of you being here. Such a headache"
Sasuke didn't dignify that with a response; as if he cared.
The next time Shikamaro had brought a Shogi board with him and set it up on a small table.
"I presume you know how to play." He said in Sasuke's general direction.
After a few moments, Sasuke took his side on the other side.
He admitted, just once, and only to himself, that he came to look forward to the Nara boy's visits, as much as he did to anything. The game provided him with a brief break from his own mind.
The hokage came every day, often in the evenings. She performed a myriad of checks on Naruto everytime, though the other medic nins had always done them before. She never acknowledged Sasuke's presence.
Sakura came every day too, sometimes multiple times. She gave Sasuke a neutral nod every time, and told him, after she checked on Naruto, that nothing had changed.
Sasuke didn't feel guilty for what he had done to her. He didn't feel much of anything besides the occasional bursts of rage when he looked at Naruto. But he still recognized that he didn't deserve her curtesy.
Eventually he thought to ask her, not minding that Sakura could spat on him for the request, but Sakura just gave him a long quiet look. The next time, she brought him a handful of scrolls and when he read up enough to have questions, she answered them.
And as Sasuke kept himself busy learning what he could, he found that in the brief space inside of him that wasn't occupied with his anger at Naruto, he felt grateful.
"Is this enough?" The man asked.
The woman huffed "Do you know them so little? Have you not been paying attention all this time?"
He sighed "Such foolish stubbornness."
She nodded, exasperated "Young men!"
The man raised an eyebrow "Who said I was talking about them?"
The woman snorted "As if you'd dare call me foolish. You're a genius, aren't you?"
"He has visitors" Sakura told Naruto one day. "It took a long time, but the council has agreed to let them come."
Naruto blinked at Sakura in confusion. The idea of visitors for Sasuke was so unusual that it took him a few minutes to understand what she'd said.
"They asked to see him alone."
Naruto laughed "Yeah right, as if that's going to happen."
Sakura sighed "I told them you'd say that.
The woman was annoying, but Naruto found himself fascinated by her hair, the exact colour of her mother's. It helped distract him from the way she bent over Sasuke as if to kiss him, and from her incessant chatter.
Naruto learnt somethings from her talking though, like how Sasuke had been ready to murder her, and had apparently shown no remorse afterwards. Naruto, who'd taken a seat in his chair by the window, found himself shaking his head, and thought to himself 'oh Sasuke', as if he was a child who had tripped another on the playground.
He also learnt that the woman thought Sasuke had protected her, from Orochimaru, and later from his lackeys, who would have wanted to use her abilities for their own gain. Naruto wondered if she realized that Sasuke had done the same thing, saving her, only to use her himself.
The woman glanced at him then. He didn't know what she saw on his face, but as if somehow sensing his thoughts, she snorted. "As if you're in any place to judge me."
"I wasn't…" Naruto said.
"He gave me a choice" she told him. "I knew he wanted to use me, he never pretended otherwise."
Her voice and her gaze turned serious for a moment. She looked down at Sasuke with sorrow in her face "But he gave me a choice, not just in the beginning, but always. At any time, I could have left, he wouldn't have stopped me."
Naruto didn't say anything. He didn't think that was enough. People deserved to be treated better than that. But he thought perhaps the woman knew this herself, and if she didn't, him saying so wouldn't change her mind.
"We're cousins, you know." She told him, and then shot him an unexpected grin "You should show me more respect, little brat. We're family."
Naruto looked down. "I don't really know what that means."
"Yeah" The woman said after a moment. "Neither do I."
The orange-haired man was different. He nodded at Naruto when he came in and Naruto found himself staring at him as he silently sat by Sasuke's bed and looked at his face for a long time. For such a long time that Naruto found himself growing uncomfortable.
He stood up to leave an hour later, having said nothing at all. He looked at Naruto for a moment.
"I think" he paused. "He would want you here." and he walked out. Naruto found his throat tightening as he stared at the man's disappearing back.
Suigetsu was the worst one. He came in as loud and abrasive at Kiba at his worst moments. He immediately grinned at Naruto, showing all his teeth "Well look who's here. Finally managed to get Sasuke unconscious and unable to leave like you always wanted huh?"
Naruto growled at him, already prepared to punch the boy in the face. But Suitgetsu, arrogantly, turned away from Naruto without a care and walked to Sasuke's side.
Naruto could see only half of the boy's face, but the brief look that passed across it stopped him from snapping at the other boy to leave. He looked at Sasuke like…Naruto wasn't sure how to explain it, or if he even wanted to, but he felt sure suddenly that Suigetsu had been the one who had wanted to visit Sasuke alone.
Suigetsu stood there in silence for a few minutes, then he smirked down at Sasuke "You'd be so pissed if you knew your boyfriend was keeping you in a room like this." He sat down by the bed "Maybe that's why you won't wake up? You can't face the shame?"
Naruto gritted his teeth. He knew the other man was only trying to get a rise out of him, but that didn't help his temper.
"I suppose at least he must have stopped Karin from groping you in your vulnerable state." Suigetsu told Sasuke thoughtfully. Then, before Naruto could stop him, he reached over and took Sasuke's hand.
Naruto had half stood up in his chair. Suigetsu sent a sideway glance at him. Naruto had expected him to throw an insulting comment at him again, but the boy just turned back to Sasuke.
Naruto had no choice but to sit down again. Sasuke wasn't in danger from his hand being held, he realized, but that wasn't enough to stop his heart racing like it was preparing for an attack.
Suigetsu looked down at Sasuke again, his smirk disappearing.
"I heard what you did." He muttered. For a moment, Naruto wasn't sure if the boy was talking to him or to Sasuke, but he realized then that his tone was too quiet. Naruto should not have been able to hear him, had he not had a Jinchuriki's enhanced senses.
"I told you that you hadn't buried the past as deep as you thought." He sounded bitter, Naruto thought, and then he realized, with shock, that he also sounded sad. "I told you he was your weakness." The boy said, still holding Sasuke's hand "And look at where we are now, despite all your grand proclamations, you still let him make a martyr out of you."
The man was silent for a long time after that. Then, so quietly that even Naruto almost missed it, he said "Maybe we should have just gone away back then, huh?" He snorted, as if finding his own words amusing.
Naruto felt stuck to his chair, his brain having gone blank.
"You won't let them lay a hand on him." Suigetsu told Naruto before he left. It was odd. He didn't say it like it was a command, nor like a taunt really, just a fact.
Naruto sat in the chair Suigetsu had emptied for a long time. He looked at Sasuke's hand, wondering at why he didn't just reach out and hold it like Suigetsu had, like he wanted to.
Once, when Sakura thought he was sleep, Sasuke watched him brush the hair out of Naruto's forehead. It was a simple gesture.
"You love him." Sasuke told her. If Sakura was surprised, she hid it well.
She looked back at him, thoughtful for a moment, and then she almost looked like she would smile. Though Sasuke did not see what could be amusing about this.
"Yes" Sakura said, looking back at Naruto "He is my closest friend."
That wasn't what Sasuke had meant, and they both knew it.
"Does he know?" Sasuke asked, though he had no reason to. He supposed so many days in this room had made even him susceptible to idle curiosity.
"Do you care?" Sakura asked him, an unusual challenge in her tone.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow "Not particularly."
Sakura held his gaze for a moment, and then she snorted. Sasuke thought he heard him say something not so complimentary about 'boys' under his breath, but he did not care enough to try and make it out.
"It's not in the way you think." Sakura told him eventually. She sounded thoughtful. "There was a time maybe, when I thought there could be something different between us, but it was never going to happen."
She smiled down at Naruto, and brushed his hair away again, this time, clearly just for the sake of doing it "But he's like family to me. Of course, I love him."
Sasuke found that he believed her.
"You don't want to know why it couldn't happen?" Sakura asked him. She sounded almost like she was taunting him to ask.
Sasuke shrugged "I figured he was too obvious to realize how you felt."
Sakura looked at him for a long moment, and then she laughed, right in his face. She laughed for long enough that Sasuke found himself getting somewhat annoyed.
"Yeah, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" She told him eventually, but whatever that meant, Sasuke chose to ignore it.
"I think you should stop this" The white-haired man told them.
They both shook their heads at him.
"It's gone on for too long. It could be dangerous." He tried again.
"He knows what he is doing." The woman said with absolute faith in his companion "Besides, they only need a little longer"
Kakashi came to see him a week before they were to officially announce that he would take over as hokage. Naruto congratulated the man. He was genuinely happy for him, and he was also selfishly happy that the next hokage could be trusted to understand the intricacies of Sasuke's history.
"It's going to be you next, you realize?" Kakashi told him.
"Huh, isn't this favoritism?" Naruto replied teasingly.
Kakashi shook his head "It could have been you now, if you weren't so young, and not…"
He looked at Naruto, Naruto looked back at him. He knew where Kakashi was going with this, and he refused to look away.
Kakashi sighed. "We discussed it, you know. Tsuande-sama said she would be willing to stay in office for another year as they prepare you to take over."
Naruto, despite his prior conviction not to look at him, found his gaze going back to Sasuke's body. It had been a month now. Sasuke looked remarkably healed from the outside. He no longer required most of the bandages and seals that had kept his body together before. Still, he'd shown no sign of waking.
Naruto had left the room occasionally, always leaving a clone behind. He went to the training grounds when he felt he would go crazy if he stayed there any longer. He showered. Once he went to get ramen, but he'd ended up just asking for take-away.
Kakashi said "Naruto, are you hearing me?
Naruto's gaze snapped back to him. He nodded.
"They're offering you everything you've ever wanted." Kakashi reminded him, and Naruto smiled, because they both knew that wasn't true.
"Let me guess, these preparations would require me to leave this room, to stay out of any trials they might want to put Sasuke through, to prove my loyalty is to the village and the village only?"
Kakashi sighed. Naruto shook his head, feeling a surge of bitterness. He'd had a lot of time to think in the last month. He'd thought about their childhoods, the wars, Yahiko and Nagato, Itcahi, Danzo's arms filled with eyes, Sasuke's family, the Uzumakis, and he thought that just maybe he understood Sasuke a little more at the end of all the thinking. He wasn't going to go on a homicidal rampage because of it, but he wasn't completely impervious to bitterness either.
"Do they think you're neutral about him then, Kakashi-sensi?" Naruto asked him, genuinely curious how the minds of the elders worked.
"No-one is ever truly neutral Naruto." Kakashi told him, sounding tired. "Some of us just hide it better."
Naruto thought that maybe he should be considering it. A year, and he would be hokage.
But at the end, there wasn't anything to consider.
He smiled at Kakashi "I'll be there to take it from your old hands one day sensei."
Kakashi didn't look surprised at the choice.
They sat there in silence for a while.
"What if he doesn't wake up?" Kakashi asked him quietly.
Naruto just shook his head "He will".
It was that night, when the panic truly hit him for the first time. He'd feared it before. He'd distracted himself from thinking about it. He'd stayed awake, unable to not think about it.
But this was the first time when he felt the real possibility of it.
What if Sasuke didn't wake up?
Naruto sat up in his bed, feeling like he would suffocate if he stayed lying down.
He imagined leaving the hospital room, knowing Sasuke was there, in an endless sleep. Going on missions, climbing the ranks, rebuilding the village, going to dinner with Sakura or Kiba, one day taking up the mantle of the hokage. Marriage, eventually, though to whom Naruto could not have said, children.
He couldn't breathe.
He'd had panic attacks before. He tried to remember what Sakura had thought him about getting through them, but his brain was scrambled, his thoughts racing.
Sasuke was a friend, he reminded himself. A friend who had betrayed him, hurt him, broken his heart.
A friend who had saved his life, sacrificing his own.
Sasuke was a ninja; ninjas died all the time. They died even younger than Sasuke was now.
Naruto had a village, friends, ambitions. He should be able to have a full life, even losing a friend. He'd just lost Neji. He'd lost Jiraiya. He'd lost his parents before he'd even had a chance to know them.
And he'd gone on living.
So why did it feel like, if Sasuke didn't wake up, he would have nothing at all?
"They're going to hold a trial for you." Sakura informed him. Sasuke snorted.
"It would be easier if you attended, to show you were willing to cooperate." Kakashi told him later. Sasuke didn't dignify it with a response.
"What will you do if they decide to take you by force?"
Sasuke raised his eyebrows at the man, knowing he was many things, but he wasn't stupid.
Kakashi sighed "Will you destroy the village he gave everything to protect, because you refuse to leave his side?"
Sasuke shook his head "You keep forgetting Kakashi, when have I ever cared what he wanted?"
"When will you stop lying to yourself?" Kakashi sounded genuinely bewildered.
Sasuke responded, cold. "You can think what you want."
"Why are you here then?" Kakashi asked him.
Sasuke thought that was a cheap shot. He wasn't sure he would answer, but something compelled him to "So someone doesn't take it upon themselves to decide their pet jinchuriki has gotten a little too powerful for comfort."
Kakashi gave him a long look "You know how much the people love him?"
Sasuke could hear in his tone that this was more of a rhetorical question. He responded anyway "You know how much they loved Itachi?"
Kakashi didn't say anything to that for a while. He just kept looking at Sasuke "You truly believe that someone could come for him, don't you?"
Sasuke didn't say anything. The answer was obvious.
Kakashi looked sad suddenly, and Sasuke looked away from him, unused to the man showing such open emotion.
"And why do you care if someone does assassinate him in his sleep?" Kakashi asked him eventually "Wouldn't it only be 'a consequence of his own naive trust in the village'?" Kakashi said in an almost perfect imitation of Sasuke's voice.
Sasuke suddenly found himself so tired. He sighed. "It's creepy when you do that."
Kakashi seemed surprised for a moment, like he'd expected a much more violant response. Then his eyes closed in a smile. "They call me the copy ninja after all."
Sasuke shook his head, resigned.
"Even putting the trial and the village aside, things can't go on like this forever." Kakashi told him suddenly, pointing the room, to Naruto, to Sasuke. "What will you do if he doesn't wake up?"
Sasuke realized later that day, that if Naruto didn't wake up, there was no-one left alive who would be powerful enough to kill him.
Sasuke would not end his own life, but he did not want to live.
He felt the familiar surge of rage again. He walked to Naruto's bed.
"You had no right to make that choice for me." He told the man, but his voice didn't come out angry, it came out sorrowful.
If Naruto didn't wake up, what would he do? Sasuke imagined years of wandering from place to place, learning techniques he would not use, seeing sights he would not care about, taking missions from Kages who would never admit to hiring him for the money.
But what if Naruto did wake up? Wasn't that the life he would live anyway?
What would be so different just in knowing that Naruto was awake, living his life in the village, where Sasuke would never see him again?
His life, Sasuke realized, would be identical, whether Naruto was awake or not. So why did it feel like in one life, he would want to live, and in another, he would go on each mission, hoping it would be the one to finally end him?
"It's time." The woman said.
The man frowned "Are you certain?"
"If this hasn't been enough, nothing will be."
Naruto opened his eyes.
Sasuke opened his eyes.
There was chaos. Naruto didn't know where he was, but he was assaulted with the sounds immediately. People were yelling. People were running.
He was looking at a white celling with fluorescent lights. His eyes burned from the light like he was staring at the sun itself.
His throat hurt. The inside of his mouth hurt.
All his senses hurt. It was too much. In comparison, his body felt numb. He forced his eyes down so he could look and make sure he was indeed still in possession of a body.
Then, a voice cut above the others "Stay the fuck away from him."
Naruto knew that voice. He'd recognize it anywhere, even as it sounded now, harsh and hoarse, coming out an abused throat.
"Sasuke" Naruto said. It came out in a whisper, worse than Sasuke's voice had been.
Naruto tried to sit up. That's when he realized he was in a hospital bed.
Things took shape slowly. He was in the hospital. The konoha hospital. The people making all the sounds and running around wore the familiar uniforms of medic nins.
And there was Sasuke in their midst.
Naruto's eyes still watered from the light, but he forced them to focus on Sasuke's body, as it came closer to him anyway. Was Sasuke also wearing a hospital gown? Why?
It came back to Naruto suddenly, and this time, he managed to sit up in his shock. Regaining some shaky command over his body.
Sasuke had been a coma. Sasuke had been in a coma for more than a month, and now here he was, standing up, glaring at the medic nins, who Naruto realized, despite clearly being afraid, were only trying to guide him back to his bed.
Naruto felt his eyes try in vein to produce tears, he let out a wordless sob. Sasuke was awake. He was standing right there.
But why were they in this unfamiliar room and why was Naruto in a hospital bed?
He was missing something.
But Sasuke was there.
He must have finally managed to make a sound louder than a whisper, because Sasuke' head snapped to him immediately. Their gazes met and held.
Sasuke's eyes looked abnormally wide, red veins standing out among the white, tears leaking from their sides like he too was struggling with the light. He looked frantic as he looked at Naruto, out of control in a way that Naruto had not seen him look in a long time.
He pushed aside the medic nin who had been about to move him back to his bed, the man only moved a little. But it was enough for Sasuke to take another swaying step towards Naruto's bed. His eyes narrowed in concentration like walking was taking immense effort, but they never left Naruto's.
Naruto might have been missing something, but Sasuke definitely looked and acted like someone who had just woken up from a month-long coma.
He reached Naruto's bed anyway. Naruto was still just sitting there, staring at him in shock.
"You're awake." He managed to get out when Sasuke was right there.
Sasuke snorted "Funny" he said, his voice still not sounding much better than Naruto's. The he turned his back to Naruto and stood by his bed, facing the room. Why he looked as if he was trying to protect Naruto from a group of healers was a mystery to Naruto.
Naruto meanwhile, reached out a hand and put it on Sasuke's back. The other man startled at the touch, briefly, but he was, indeed, solid underneath Naruto's palm.
"You're really here." Naruto said. "This seems real."
Sasuke didn't say anything in response.
He swayed again where he was standing. That finally snapped Naruto to some semblance of his senses.
"Should you really be standing?" The answer was no, clearly, if the terrified faces of the medics and Sasuke's current state were any indications.
At that moment, Sakura ran inside "I came as soon as I heard…"
She froze in the middle of the room, staring at them both. Her eyes widened, her lips shook, as if she would burst out crying. But Naruto saw her forcibly pull herself together, stepping into her medic role.
She snapped "Everyone out of the room, right now. Someone lower the lights. You there go and make sure Tsunade-sama and Kakashi are on their way."
The medics hurried to follow her orders and in just a moment, the room was suddenly, blessedly, empty, and quiet.
Sakura took a step forward. Naruto couldn't see Sasuke's face, but whatever his expression was made Sakura put up her hands in the air in a gesture of peace and stand still again.
"Hey, Naruto, do you recognize who I am?" She said, trying to see him from across Sasuke's body.
Naruto frowned, what an odd question "Yes?"
Sakura seemed to let out a breath in relief before she looked at Sasuke. "And you, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke didn't seem like he would respond at first, but eventually, he gave a small nod.
"Alright, that's very good." Sakura said, and Naruto realized she was using her 'talking with patients' voice with them. "You're both safe now", She said "You're in the Konoha hospital."
"What happened Sakura-chan? When did Sasuke wake up? Why do I feel so odd?" Those were too many words for Naruto's throat to handle, and by the last one, his voice came out in a screech that Naruto wasn't sure was fully intelligible.
Sasuke sent him a glance from over his shoulder, and Naruto could swear he saw a flash of concern pass his face.
He turned to Sakura "What is wrong with him? Why is he asking about me waking up?" Then he paused "Your hair is different." He told Sakura as if this had real significance which was concerning "But I just saw you, how can your hair be so much longer?"
Sakura looked from one of them to the other. Her eyes wide and thoughtful, like she was putting some things together.
"This might be hard to believe, but you have both been under a genjutsu for the past month or so."
Naruto tried to laugh but it ended in a coughing fit. Right, him with Kurama, and Sasuke, the sole living person with the eternal Mangekiyu Sharingan had been in a genjutsu for a month without realizing it.
Sasuke seemed to share his disbelief, but was much less amused by it, if the way he tensed up was any indication.
Sakura put his hands up again "Listen, we also don't know how this was possible. I swear I'm going to explain to you everything I know, but Sasuke-kun could you sit down please? I'm not sure how you're moving right now, but you're really really not supposed to."
Naruto managed to shuffle back on his bed, and then grabbed the back of Sasuke's shirt, pulling. Sasuke sent him an annoyed glance, but then to his surprise, sat down. Naruto moved so he was leaning against the headboard and Sasuke sitting on the edge of the bed. His legs touched the back of Sasuke's, and Naruto left them there, reassured by every second of contact that he was real.
Their memories came back as they talked. If they hadn't, Naruto wasn't sure anything could have made Sasuke believe in what the others were telling them.
It was an odd feeling, the split life he had lived.
In one -in this one, the real one, Naruto reminded himself- him and Sasuke had fought Madara too, but Sasuke had never needed save his life by sacrificing his own. They had fought Kaguya. They had fought each other. They had survived. They had made peace, in a way.
And then, they had been brought to the hospital, and everything had seemed fine.
Except a day later, they had been found unconscious in their beds, trapped in a genjutsu unlike any anyone had ever seen. That had been a month earlier.
In the other life, Naruto had sat by Sasuke's comatose form for the last month, until he'd come to realize his life would be meaningless if the other man didn't wake up.
Now the two sets of memories co-existed in his mind, neither feeling less real than the other in texture, in authenticity, in details, in emotions. The only thing that differentiated this one, was the knowledge that it was 'the real one'.
Naruto kept glancing at Sasuke the whole time, as Sakura, Baa-chan and Kakashi explained the situation to them, and then as they ran through medical test after medical test to make sure their bodies functioned, and as they were given hot drinks and healing jutsus. Sasuke, to everyone's surprise, went through it all alongside Naruto without much fuss or complaint. Naruto had a feeling the man's thoughts were somewhere else.
They asked them both what they had experienced in the genjutsu. Naruto could see them hardening themselves as they waited for their response. Naruto thought about everything you could do to someone trapped in a genjutsu for a month, and he understood their fear.
But Naruto hadn't been tortured, not in the way that they thought anyway.
Still, he found himself hesitant to say what he had lived, especially with Sasuke watching him so intently.
Sasuke's body, blown apart by a jutsu meant for him. The memroy flashed in Naruto's mind, and he felt so nauseated he had to concentrate on keeping the small amounts of liquid food he had eaten down.
There was no escaping it though. Naruto told them all about it as he looked resolutely at the other three. "Sasuke was in a hospital for a month then, he lived, but wouldn't wake up or get better. That was pretty much it, nothing else eventful happened." Naruto hurried to explain to the others, and then grinned at Kakashi "Oh, and you were going to step up to Baa-chan's place as our mighty leader."
Kakashi and Tsuande exchanged a glance that made Naruto want to smile. It seemed somethings were playing out not so differently across his two lives.
"That was it?" Tsuande asked him, confused.
"That was it." Naruto confirmed.
"What was happening in the village?"
Naruto shrugged. "There was no kaguya. The war had ended when…when Madara and Obito were killed. The village was recovering, I guess."
Tsuande sent him a look like she expected more.
"I didn't see much of it, I was mostly…just staying in the hospital." Naruto said half-heartedly, not particularly happy that he had been forced to spell it out like that.
"I see." Tsuande said eventually. For some reason, she seemed even more troubled than before.
They all turned to Sasuke then, who returned their looks with a neutral expression. If what Naruto had described had affected him in any way, he didn't show it.
Looking at his unreadable face, Naruto had to remind himself that in this life, Sasuke had chosen to come back to the village. Naruto had just not had enough time living this life be able to fully believe it yet.
"So, what did you see bastard?" Naruto asked once the silence had dragged on for too long.
Naruto wondered if Sasuke would tell them. There was something different about him, but Naruto couldn't quite put a finger on it. He thought the other man was also struggling to unite his split lives.
If he didn't want to say, would it matter if Tsuande ordered him as the hokage?
What kind of "back" was Sasuke? Could he really go back to the kind of obedience expected of a Konoha shinobi?
Naruto realized that these were important questions, and he did care about the answers. He just didn't seem to care about anything quite as much as the fact that Sasuke was there, and Sasuke was awake.
"It was similar" Sasuke said, startling him out of his thoughts "Except, the situations were reversed."
Naruto took in what the other boy had said, and then he thought about the first sentence he'd heard when he'd come out of the genjutsu.
Stay the fuck away from him.
Naruto felt his throat tighten as he looked at his friend.
Even in the life when they hadn't had their final fight, when he hadn't gotten through to him, Sasuke had stayed by his comatose body. In his haze, after the genjutsu, he'd still tried to protect him.
He stared at Sasuke, and Sasuke looked away from him. That's how Naruto knew that his feelings were probably showing on his face for anyone to see. Not that he cared.
No-one had much to say after that. They knew so little that there wasn't anything to say.
They didn't know who had casted the jutsu, or how.
They didn't know exactly what the jutsu was, or how it could have trapped the two ninjas most impervious to genjutsu.
And they didn't know why.
Why would anyone want them to see and live through the lives that they had.
As the others finally left, leaving the two of them alone in their hospital room to rest and recover, Naruto watched Sasuke's back quietly, and he thought of how they also didn't know what the consequences of the genjutsu would be.
The room was silent for a long time and went dark with the sunset. But Naruto knew Sasuke wasn't sleep. They each lay in their own beds, and it should have been peaceful, but Naruto felt restless.
At least, he could stare at Sasuke's back as much as he wanted as the other man lay facing the wall. At least he knew that Sasuke was there and that he was well.
But it didn't feel like enough.
Naruto tried to put the second life away from his mind for a moment and project himself into his frame of mind right after the valley of the end.
He remembered the one conversation they had had in this same hospital room, the day after their final fight, and apparently, right before they had gotten trapped in the genjutsu.
Sasuke had let him know of his intention to leave the village on a long-term mission as soon as possible. He'd said it would be the best thing, for him and for the village, if his return wasn't quite so in everyone's faces. Naruto didn't remember how he'd responded, but he remembered the pain and resignation. Pain, at the thought of Sasuke leaving again. resignation at the knowledge that he had done what he'd set out to do in bringing Sasuke back, but that he still wouldn't be by his side.
Still, he'd been prepared to see him leave, to accept that that was how things would have to be. What right had he had to protest, he remembered thinking.
And now.
Now, he couldn't quite find that version of himself, because as he lay there watching Sasuke, his brain was filled with images of walking over there and slipping in the bed beside the other man, wrapping him in his arms.
And never letting go.
"Sasuke" Naruto whispered, not quite sure if he had meant to speak aloud or not, so he was startled when Sasuke turned to face him.
"Naruto" he said, and despite everything he still managed to sound so dry that Naruto found himself smiling.
"What are you smiling at?"
You.
"The degree to which you can be a bastard never cease to amaze me, that's all."
The corners of Sasuke's lips lifted the tiniest bits "How fortunate for me. Everyone knows I live to amaze you."
Naruto had to laugh at that.
How could it all feel so simple when they talked, despite everything that they were in the middle of?
"Do you feel…" Naruto started but wasn't quite sure how to ask what he wanted.
Did Sasuke feel changed as a result of the second life he'd lived, like Naruto?
But Naruto felt abruptly scared. In asking, he would be admitting that he felt changed, and if Sasuke asked how he had changed, Naruto wasn't quite ready to answer.
Sasuke simply kept watching him, not pressing for an answer.
Naruto instead, chose to talk about the second most terrifying thing, because he might not be ready to face up to the first quite yet, but he was also no coward.
"In this genjutsu life, you hadn't decided to come back to the village." Naruto said eventually.
Sasuke didn't say anything.
"You just lived that life for a month. You were in that headspace. Is it…odd to come back to this life? To remember your decision?"
Are you going to leave? Was that month enough to erase the impact of our fight, our talk?
God, Naruto thought with a surge of panic, what if that had been the purpose behind the genjutsu? All of this, to make Sasuke leave them again. There would certainly be no shortage of people who wouldn't want Konoha to have access to not just Naruto's powers, but Sasuke's as well.
"I'm not going back on what we agreed Naruto." Sasuke said, seeing right through his question, and Naruto felt his panic subside a little "But yes, it is…odd. I imagine it would be similar for you."
Naruto looked at the other man. He certainly didn't look like he was about to bolt out and try to take over the world again. Mostly, he just looked tired, and thoughtful.
Naruto watched his side profile as Sasuke stared at the celling, lost in his own mind. And Naruto thought, quite suddenly, that Sasuke was beautiful.
It was an odd thing, perhaps, to think about another man, let alone about his best friend, and he didn't think Sasuke would be thrilled to hear it.
But Naruto had thought so often, when he'd stared at Sasuke's comatose form, and his inhibitions had been worn down by exhaustion and worry. When not much had mattered beyond Sasuke's awakening, not even reflecting on why he was so ready to call his male best friend beautiful. To want to stare at his face like it held the answer to a mystery.
Naruto wondered if he needed to reflect on it now, but maybe there would be no point, not if Sasuke was going to disappear on him in a few days.
"What will you do?" Naruto asked him quietly. It was, he suddenly recalled, exactly what he had asked him the day before the genjutsu.
Sasuke seemed to register that too, because he looked at Naruto with a small frown, probably trying to reconcile the two lives.
"I suppose" Sasuke took a breath, and Naruto held his, though he wasn't sure why. "Nothing has actually changed. So, I'll still live out the life I described to you before."
Nothing had changed?
Naruto felt like everything had changed, but there was no point in arguing when they had lived two different lives. It seemed as if Sasuke's second life hadn't been quite as impactful as Naruto's. He planned to leave the village, just as he had said before.
Could Naruto really let him go now that it felt he had just gotten him back? Not just from his years away, but from an endless sleep?
He didn't have a choice, did he? There was nothing he could do.
"I would have done it." Naruto said suddenly, surprising himself.
It was a full moon outside, so Naruto could see Sasuke raise an eyebrow at him even with the lights off. It was clear he didn't know what Naruto was talking about.
"If it had happened like you saw with Madara, if the only way to save you was for me to, I don't know, jump in front of an attack or whatever I did in your version of the evens, I would have done it in real life too."
They stared at another for a moment, and then Sasuke's whole face shifted to anger.
"You had no right." Sasuke snapped at him, and there was more depth to his rage that one moment alone could have caused. Naruto could tell that this was something Sasuke had carried with him out of the vision.
"You had no right to make that choice, Naruto. No right." He said again, not quite shouting, but almost. He looked like he wanted to burn through Naruto just with his gaze.
Naruto just snorted. Though his heart was beating fast, it was because of his own confession, not Sasuke's fit of rage. "I could say the same to you."
"No" Sasuke told him with a snarl. "In your vision, you would have been taken by a surprise attack. In mine, I had decided to take the blow before you took the choice away from me. It was very different."
It was odd to see a man who was lying down so angry, Naruto thought idly. And then, what Sasuke had said registered, and he frowned "What do you mean you'd decided?"
So Sasuke told him, in a voice devoid of regret or doubt, what his plan had been.
Naruto had jumped out of his bed before Sasuke was done.
Sasuke's rage had always been cold and still, so that he could lie in bed, motionless, and be angry. Naruto's rage however, was explosive.
He stalked towards Sasuke's bed, and Sasuke watched him move closer without flinching "What the fuck Sasuke?" Naruto shouted at him.
Sasuke continued to look at him as if he was a child throwing a tantrum.
"Tell me that was just the genjutsu. Tell me you wouldn't have come up with a plan like that."
Sasuke's silence was his answer.
Naruto bent over Sasuke's bed and thought, for a moment, that he was going to grab the other man's throat and squeeze. He felt so angry that he was dizzy from it. He knew what to do with this kind of anger in battle, he didn't know what to do with it in a quiet hospital room.
So maybe because he was tired, because he'd just lived a whole other life only for it to be fake, because he'd been staring at best friend and feeling like…he wanted him, because he'd just watched him spend a month in a coma, and negotiating with the universe to get him back, only for him to tell Naruto he had been so ready to throw his life away, because of all of that, and so much more, because of the rage he had no place to put, Naruto burst out crying.
Later, he would think back to this moment and find humor in the way panic flashed through Sasuke's face. He would think of the man's wide eyes underneath him as Naruto's tears starting dropping on his face like torrential rain.
"…Naruto." Sasuke's voice was so different suddenly, quiet. Hesitant in a way he rarely was.
He raised his hand in the air, and then held it there as if unsure what he wanted to do with it. Naruto grabbed for it, and then slapped Sasuke palm across his own cheek, hard.
And then he just held it there, his palm over his.
"You're so fucking selfish, Sasuke." Naruto told him, his voice coming out choked. "You're so selfish, because when I was sitting by your hospital bed, wondering if you'd ever wake up, I thought, I thought…" He couldn't say it. Why couldn't he say it?
Sasuke's fingers curled across Naruto's cheek.
Naruto stopped, and then continued as if he had not. "And you were just willing to throw your life away like that, like it meant nothing."
Something flashed in Sasuke's eyes, but it was gone before Naruto could recognize it. "We were losing, Naruto. We were losing. It's not like I had no reason to."
Naruto squeezed Sasuke's hand hard enough that he knew it must hurt a little. Sasuke didn't even flinch.
"Clearly, we could have fucking won Sasuke. We did win."
Oh well, in the end they hadn't really been the ones to defeat Madara, had they? But they would have. They would have, without Sasuke having to plan a suicide mission.
"Is that why you did it then?" Naruto asked him suddenly. "In my vision, did you jump in front of the attack meant for me, just because you were looking for an easy way to die?"
Sasuke, for the first time, glanced away from him. He tried to remove his hand, but Naruto held it on his own face by force.
Naruto laughed "You know, I kept asking you, 'why did you do it, why did you do it' as if there was some grand reason behind it. Turns out, you were right all along Sasuke. I really am an idiot."
Naruto let go of Sasuke's hand. A part of him wanted the other boy to keep it there, but Sasuke let his hand drop by his side.
Naruto turned away. Whatever he wanted, he couldn't get it from this conversation. He couldn't get it at all.
Sasuke's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. They just stood there, as if waiting for a calamity to immediately follow the touch.
Then Sasuke tugged, and Naruto found himself turning back to face him.
"It wasn't me in your genjutsu you know." Sasuke said, looking at him intently.
Naruto paused and then wanted to laugh again. Sasuke wouldn't say that the him that had chosen to die in a battlefield wasn't real, but he would say it about the him that had sacrifices himself for Naruto.
Sasuke seemed to read the thought in his face, because he tightened his grip on Naruto, as if to stop him from walking away again.
"It wasn't me, but that wasn't his reason Naruto. He didn't save you just because he wanted to die."
Naruto looked at him for a long moment.
"You're a coward Sasuke" He told the other boy. "Alright, tell me then, why did he do it, since you know him so well?"
Sasuke's face looked oddly open and vulnerable for a moment before it shuttered again. "Why did you do it? Why do you say you would do it again?" Sasuke shot back.
And Naruto had a choice. He opened his mouth. He closed it.
Turned out, he was also a coward tonight.
As his silence dragged on, Sasuke smirked and let go of his wrist.
Naruto wondered if Sasuke would turn away then, to face the wall again. Naruto wondered if he himself would walk away, to his own side of the bed.
But they both just stood there, looking at each other.
Naruto broke the silence "I thought about my what my life would be if you didn't wake up."
"You would swear an oath to wear nothing but black and mourn me for all eternity?" Sasuke told him dryly.
But Naruto wasn't in the mood for jokes "I thought, I would get married, have children, become hokage, and protect the village."
Sasuke gave him a strange smile "Everything you always wanted." No. Naruto thought. No. "You'll still have all of that Naruto. I don't need to be in a coma for it to happen."
Naruto opened his mouth, and then closed it, swallowing what he had been about to say. Instead, he asked "and what was your plan if I didn't wake up? Were you going to stand guard over my body forever?"
Sasuke gave him an unamused look and Naruto wondered if he'd even respond.
"Wander around the world, discover new Justus, get all the missions that were too dangerous or too dirty to go to the regular village shinobi"
It was Naruto's turn to respond, "Sounds like your life wouldn't have been too different either."
Sasuke looked at him, and then glanced away.
"What's the point of this conversation? That both of our lives are going to play out no differently than if the other was in a coma? How heartwarming for us" There was something in Sasuke's otherwise dry tone, a flash of anger, that helped Naruto gather the courage to speak.
"No that's not the point Sasuke, because I realized then, I could do all of that, I could have all of that, but if you weren't there, it would feel like… I had nothing at all."
Sasuke's eyes snapped to Naruto's, but other than that, no emotion came to his face.
Naruto stood there, holding his breath.
It felt not dissimilar to handing Sasuke a sharp kunai to hold against his unprotected throat, and then close his eyes.
"And I thought." Sasuke snapped, staring at him "That if you didn't wake up, I would go on every one of those missions hoping it would be the one to end me."
Naruto felt his anger awaken again "You thought I'd be happy to hear that?"
"Do you want to hear what makes you happy, or do you want to hear the truth?" Sasuke snapped back at him. He eyes flashed with anger, as if finally saying something true had made it harder for him to step back behind his impenetrable wall of neutrality.
Naruto thought, unbidden and unwelcome at this moment, of how it would feel to kiss him.
Somehow, something of his thought, of his sudden change in mood, must have shown on his face.
Sasuke's eyes dropped to his lips for a moment before climbing slowly back up. His eyes narrowed at Naruto in the same way they did before a fight.
"I can't be the only thing that makes you want to stay alive." Naruto whispered to him, the quiet even more weighty after all of the shouting that had come before.
Sasuke looked up at him. "I can't be the only thing that keeps you from feeling like your life's empty." He snapped back.
They stared at one another.
Then Sasuke's hands grabbed the back of Naruto's neck, he raised himself up halfway and pulled Naruto to him, smashing their lips together in a kiss.
Naruto let go completely, immediately. His hands which had been hanging on his sides came up and wrapped around Sasuke; his back, his neck, his hair.
Sasuke's kept held onto Naruto's neck with one hand, holding him just tight enough that it was almost painful. He wrapped the other hand into Naruto's hair, holding his face in place by the blond strands right by the roots.
They kissed like they had kissed hundreds of times before, like they had infinite time.
Eventually, it was Sasuke who pulled away. Naruto moved as if to follow him, but Sasuke held his face back with the grip on his hair and neck.
Naruto glared. Sasuke looked at him with half a smirk on his face, but he looked flushed. Not as in control as he would have no doubt liked to believe.
Naruto's eyes were drawn to his lips again.
Sasuke's gaze followed the movement, and then, without a warning he pushed Naruto away and allowed himself to fall back on his bed, looking at the ceiling.
"Was that what you wanted?" Sasuke asked him cooly, except his voice came out half a challenge, half a real question.
Was that what you wanted? Naruto thought of snapping back at him, like he would have done before. This time though, he paused instead.
"Yes." He said. His tone serious. His eyes locked on Sasuke's face.
Sasuke's face snapped to face him, his lips parting slightly in surprise.
"Well then." Sasuke said, and then in an uncharacteristic gesture of uncertainty, ran his hand through his hair.
Naruto looked at him, smiling at the way the black strands of hair stuck out all around his face, first the work of Naruto's hands and now his own
Smiling at the way that this boy, who always seemed to have a plan, suddenly looked so unsure of what to do.
Smiling at him.
"Stop looking at me like that." Sasuke, still not facing him, told him warningly.
Naruto's smile widened. He felt so…expansive. Happy. "Like what?"
"You know like what." Sasuke muttered. "Idiot"
They stayed like that for a long time.
Then Naruto took a breath. "I love you, Sasuke."
He said, simply.
Like he'd wanted to on all those days when he sat by and watched Sasuke's sleeping body, so near and so far away from him at the same time.
Like he'd wanted to the moment he'd woken up from the genjutsu to see Sasuke standing there.
Like he'd wanted to every moment of this night.
Sasuke finally looked at him, his expression had softened just a little. "I know, I think, maybe I always knew."
Naruto snorted "Oh really bastard? Because I sure as hell didn't."
"You followed me around for years, and what was that speech? 'You feel my pain as your own'" Sasuke smirked at him half-heartedly. "Tell me Naruto, do you feel any of your other friend's pain like it's yours?"
Naruto huffed. Then he thought back on the past few years and wondered how he hadn't known. Then again, how had he supposed to have known what love looked like?
If he had grown up with Minato and Kushina, would he have grabbed Sasuke from the very beginning and known exactly what it was that he felt?
Naruto felt a surge of sorrow. Grief never failed to surprise you, there was always something new you realized you had lost.
"Well." Naruto said eventually. He knew where he wanted to go from here, but he wasn't quite sure how to get there.
He looked at the celling. He looked to his sides. He looked at the ground. Then he looked at Sasuke, who was watching him with a half amused, half thoughtful look on his face.
"I'm not an easy person to love." Sasuke informed him.
Naruto snorted "Yeah, no kidding. I think I got that maybe the first time you tried to kill me."
Sasuke huffed "If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead."
"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead." Naruto told him pointedly.
Sasuke snorted "But you love me."
"I do." Naruto said, easily. It was so easy now suddenly, and he refused to let Sasuke make him back down.
He was rewarded by the sound of Sasuke, groaning in response.
Then a moment's pause.
"Well then, I suppose I don't feel too differently from you, you know." Sasuke muttered.
Naruto felt his heart speed up, a grin spreading over his face "What was that bastard?"
Sasuke's eyes snapped to his, flashing dangerously "Don't push your luck."
Naruto couldn't help it. He looked at Sasuke's lips again.
Sasuke actually growled this time "Naruto!" He snapped in warning.
"Well, then don't look at me that way, if you don't like my reaction." Naruto snapped back at him, smiling.
And, to his shock, Sasuke smiled back.
"Finally!" The man groaned.
The woman groaned in agreement, though she was still grinning triumphantly.
"It seemed like it was touch and go there for a while." The man sighed, pushing a hand in his hair.
"Not really." The woman said confidently "Uzumakis don't let love get away."
The man quirked an eyebrow "They're just too obvious to see it unless it slaps them in the face?"
The woman snorted "You've grown so disrespectful. You used to be such a polite young man."
Naruto plopped by Sasuke on the coach, where he was absorbed in whatever scroll he was reading. Naruto made a questioning noise, but when the brunette still didn't look at him, he just laid his head on the other's shoulder. Sasuke moved just a little, allowing him to rest more comfortably on the side of his chest, but didn't acknowledge him otherwise. They were silent for a while.
"Isn't it strange." Naruto mused eventually.
"Hmmm?" Sasuke asked, distracted.
"We never found a sign of who had created the genjutsu, even all these months later."
Naruto was so lost in thinking about it himself, that at first, he didn't notice that Sasuke had lowered his scroll to his lap and was now staring into space.
"Hey" Naruto reached over and smoothed the crease on the other man's forehead with his fingers. "Don't look so worried."
Sasuke glanced at him, and Naruto gave him a reassuring smile.
"I almost think we should find them only so we could thank them." Naruto said a moment later, half-jokingly.
"Are you serious?" Sasuke asked him, sounding a little annoyed.
Naruto sighed, and then smiled at the other "No, maybe not, but…" He looked at Sasuke's face, and then around them at the house they shared, and thought about how he didn't need to think twice before reaching over and touching the other man.
As if in proof, and just because he could, he tucked Sasuke's hair behind his ear.
The other man simply looked at him, still waiting for an answer.
"It was pretty awful at points, I know, but Sasuke." Naruto smiled at him again. "I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life."
Sasuke huffed, just a little, and glanced away. Though he didn't try to hide his own smile.
"We would have gotten here anyway." Sasuke said eventually.
Naruto raised his eyebrows at him, thinking about how Sasuke had planned to leave the village on some long-winded mission almost immediately after he'd returned, and how Naruto had planned to just let him go.
Sasuke sighed "Eventually. We would have gotten here eventually."
"I don't want eventually." Naruto huffed "I want now."
Sasuke looked at him quietly, clearly not willing to argue against that point, and Naruto, after all these months, still felt the familiar thrill in his stomach at his silence.
He made himself comfortable on Sasuke's chest again, and this time, the other man put his arm around Naruto's shoulder, drawing him closer.
"You know, there is only one person I can think of who could have made a genjutsu quite that powerful and gotten it past your sharingan" Naruto said, a little hesitant, unsure if Sasuke would welcome the talk of him.
Sasuke though, just snorted, the breath gently moving Naruto's strands of hair "He would be just nosy and narcissistic enough to go ahead and do it too. Deciding what would be best thing for me, as always." Sasuke's tone didn't sound angry like it would have in the past though. He sounded content, thoughtful.
Naruto thought about it too and eventually said "Hmm, well I suppose it's a good thing we've never seen ninjas interfere in our world after they're already dead, huh?"
He angled his head to look at Sasuke, just as Sasuke looked down at him. They shared a silent look for a moment.
Later, when Sasuke left the room to start making them dinner, Naruto sat up on the coach for a few minutes more.
Eventually, he muttered quietly, at nothing in particular "Thank you."
Then shaking his head at himself, he stood up and went to join Sasuke in the kitchen.
"Maybe there is some hope for that boy after all." The man muttered, amused.
The woman smacked him behind the head. "Don't sound so surprised, besides did you notice how he is the polite one between the two?" She smiled, proudly.
The man rubbed his head, not able to argue on that point. Eventually, he said "I'm sorry he doesn't know it was your plan."
The woman smiled. "Look at them."
Sasuke was scolding Naruto over something, and Naruto was looking at him with such fondness and joy on his face, that Sasuke stopped mid-sentence, losing his train of thought, before he hurriedly tried to cover up for the mistake.
The man smiled back at the woman "Yes, I suppose that can be reward enough."