"Hey. This is gonna get real hard soon," Suga flashed her a tense and strained smile. She released his shirt finally but didn't make any other effort to get out of this hold. Suga gulped hard, trying to swallow down whatever was brewing in his head.

"I-er. Suga? Um," Kitsuna floundered hard, trying to put together something but getting nothing. She and her partner took deep breaths at the same time to try and recenter themselves, but that only made certain things worse.

"Just…just a little bit. Okay?," Suga felt like he was gasping for breath as he forced those words out. Kitsuna's eyes widened, then relaxed a little as she searched in his for what he meant. Understanding. That was what she seemed to arrive at, and she nodded that it was okay again.

"Just a little bit."

Those words were the release on his floodgates, though he still tried to hold back somewhat. He drew his face closer to hers, and it started. One little kiss, then another. Then deeper. Clumsy, sloppy even, but dripping with passion. So many repressed memories and wants flooded into his mind with each kiss and awkward touch. Nights that were almost unbearable, days spent dreading and craving the little bumps and brushes during practice. The weeks, months, of yearning to drink her in with more than just his eyes and stolen glances.

His hands wandered, tearing at the thin layer of cloth that covered her chest. Undoing the knot of the tie and roughly opening some of the buttons. His mouth kept exploring, more than just her lips or face or neck. Further down, while his hand kept going just a little ahead. The scar on her collarbone, then lower. Over her softly curved chest, down to the two moles that were just above the belt line of her skirt. Further still. He pulled her leg up, holding it from underneath as his lips pressed into the soft skin of her inner thigh. One kiss, then two, then more as he slowly moved somewhere else.

"S-Suga," Kitsuna gasped out his name, snapping him out of his trance-like state. He became painfully aware of his actions and where he was positioned now. Releasing her leg, and sliding back up so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck. Her breathing was ragged, and her pulse rapid like his own. She was warm, or maybe it was his own face that was hot?

"I'm sorry," he wheezed out. He felt tears in the corners of his eyes, fearing the worst in that moment. He apologized again, and felt her hand on his arm. Shaky, tenderly trailing up to his shoulder.

"That's not-"

"I lost control again. I'm sorry," he pulled back and looked anywhere but at her face. He saw just enough to know. Her brow was pinched together, and there was a slight frown. He was finished now.

"Suga," she cupped his cheek and wiped away the moisture starting to leak from his eye.

"That's not it. I, um. If..you want to do that," she was starting to struggle, and to be honest he was struggling to hear anything with his own negative thoughts drowning everything out.

"If..you want to. I-it's fine. Just, um, if you don't have that, well. I mean, it's not like I thought this would happen! I just. Well Keishin made me. Um," Kitsuna stopped and took more deep breaths before she lost it completely. Suga blinked back the tears and studied her face, finding no signs of hostility or fear. No signs of distress, other than regular old embarrassment that she was doing her best to push down.

"You..what?," the things she stammered out finally processed, and his face went crimson.

"I...well. Even if we're gonna get married later, we should be careful. But trying to hold back all the time is..hard. So. If, you want to, in my room," Kitsuna got somewhat more coherent sentences out now. Suga forced his body to move, sitting up on the couch and releasing Kitsuna to move as she pleased. She tugged at him, pulling him toward the bedroom. A forbidden little oasis that he had yet to see even once in the several years he had known her. She knelt down by a nightstand, pulling something out of a drawer and struggling with some packaging before she got up and took his hand in hers. She slid something into his palm and wrapped his fingers around it, then held his hand in hers.

"I..well it's pretty obvious now I guess but. Are you sure?," he stared at their hands and tried to keep his heart from beating straight out of his throat. Kitsuna's hands were warm and shaky, while his were suddenly very cold. The silence was agonizing, in the few seconds it took her to form an answer.

"Y-yes," she whispered her answer and tugged at his arm. Pulling him close, she raised her shaky hands and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She kissed his forehead again, and rested like that for a moment with burning anticipation and mixed feelings.

"If it's too much, tell me to stop," Suga made peace with his raging desires finally and resolved to let go of his tight control. Just for tonight, just for a little bit. He felt her nod in reply, and after another shaky breath he was diving right back in. Things were a blur as he kissed her again and got intoxicated on her taste. Her shirt slid off, landing on the floor beneath their feet as they gradually moved closer to the bed. Then his pants, and her bra. He leaned over the mattress, over her, and his hand found its way under the skirt. Fingers tangled up in lace, that were then pulled gently down. Up, then down again. The cloth of his underwear was by comparison rough and scratchy as he slid it off. Kitsuna's hands wandered, like his, and her soft gasps and moans made him feel almost crazed.

"Okay. I'm going to.."

"Okay," Kitsuna nodded. He slid into her then, and she pulled at his shirt until it bunched up around his shoulders. They both let out long, shuddery breaths as she took him in. He kissed her again, waiting for a moment for things to adjust, then leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I'm going to start moving now," he let her know his next move almost too late. He pulled back, slowly and carefully, then moved forward with the same slow care. Back. Forward. Again and again. Slowly picking up a little bit of momentum. Kitsuna held a hand over her mouth to try and keep the sounds escaping to a minimum, but he pulled it back and kissed her forehead again. Then her cheek, and her nose. Her hand slid up through his hair as he slowly worked his hips, and her thighs quivered around him. He wanted desperately to keep going, but was struggling to hold it in until he was sure she was satisfied too.

Just a little more. A little bit..more.

Her nails dug into his shoulder just as he thought that, and her muffled moans rose in volume and pace. He was sure then that it was close, and he let himself go with one more deep thrust. She tightened around him, and that was it for his self control. He collapsed into her, both of them panting and sweaty.

After a moment to catch his breath, Suga pulled himself off her and gingerly stood up. He tore off his shirt, both because it was hot and because there was a mess of slick all over it. Next he tossed some sort of clothing toward Kitsuna, who was now hiding her face and trying to catch her breath. He smiled, to himself, and snuck off to the kitchen for a drink. He glanced around, seeing the discarded clothing across the couch and floor. He had seen similar scenes before, even with his clothes sometimes mixed in, so maybe that's why he wasn't losing it at the sight this time even though he knew there was very different context. Or maybe it just hadn't hit him yet, that happened sometimes. A lag between something that would normally illicit an extreme reaction and the actual smack of the feeling. That puzzled him for a good minute or two before he shook it off and refilled his glass, turning back toward the room he just left. He paused in the doorway out of some weird habit, but shook that off and took a step in.

He came back to find Kitsuna curled up and half asleep, her uniform shirt pulled partially on and unbuttoned. The sight was almost enough to stir him up all over again, her curled up on her side like that with everything just barely hidden from view. Almost. He felt his exhaustion getting the better of him, and he slid into bed beside her and pulled the covers up. She curled into his arms, resting with her head under his chin, and they both drifted off to sleep.