1
Aontakarn
Since I was born into this world, I have nee er liked or admired anything in particular. I am not including my preferences for manga or music. In other words, I have no particular affinity for any individual. be they a celebrity or an idol. When I was in high school and my friends had crushes on male idols or girl groups, I never understood them. I didn't say anything. I just thought that they were wasting a lot of money when they used their money to buy collectible cards, though they can download them for free from the Internet.
This is, until it happens to myself... I currently have a huge crush on someone, and I'm trying to find out about her, e.g., who she is, where she's from, and what she does in her daily life.
Aontakarn...
The sports news announcer enters the entertainment industry, if you could say that, by auditioning for a role as an actress. But each person has their own fate. Even if you're very attractive, if you don't have lady luck, you'll only get supporting roles and eventually fade away from the television screen. Sometimes, people may recognize your face but not remember your name. Yeah, something like that. And Aontakarn falls into that category.
Following her failure as an actress, the woman with beautiful eyes changes her career path and becomes a news announcer. She's been doing this for around three years now. Aside from being a news announcer, there is nothing remarkable about her career. She had some commercials, but that's that... It's not that memorable. This makes things very difficult for someone who has just become a fan like myself I can't find any of her previous work. I only see her face during the evening sports news, though I don't know any of the athletes in the news, whether they are soccer players or wrestlers.
"Hey. Why are you just staring at your phone when you're here to hang out with your friends?" 'Meen,' my best friend in high school kicks me under the table to remind me to stop playing with my phone and lift my head up to pay attention to my friends, who are all here right now. Yet when I look up, I see my two other friends, who weren't reminded to do so, still looking down on their phones, just like I was.
"You're so biased. Why do you just tell me to do
that?"
"They always look at their male idols. But you. You're just able to see like others, but you just stare at your phone." Meen raises her hand to push my phone, face down, on the table. "You should stop paying attention to your phone and talk to your friends... You guys as well. If we are meeting yet you keep looking at your phone, we can talk on the phone next time."
"That was what I suggested. Why do we have to meet up? Do you think that Bangkok's weather is cold like Seoul?" Nat whines. It makes Meen smack her in the head so forcefully that her head almost hits the table. "That hurts!"
"I hit you so that you hurt. I arranged for this meeting because your friend can see with her eyes again. I want Chris to get to know your current faces. So... have we changed?"
It works. When our friends hear Meen say that, they look up from their phones and look at me expectantly.
"Am I more beautiful than before?" Nat swings her hair as if she's in a Pantene shampoo ad. "Answer wisely, or I'll make you blind again."
"You're all more mature."
"She means you look old." Ern adds the fuel, and there's a mini-war after that.
"You're beautiful in a more mature way." I look at my friends as they bare their teeth at each other, and I ponder. "What are you watching on your phones, by the way?"
"Men." Meen replies in their place without care. It makes Nat and Ern cry out in synchrony.
"Not JUST men. Idols... Idols, which means they set examples for others."
"Crazy fans."
"Why do people like to look down on our liking and call us crazy fans? Who do we hurt? Narrow minded." Em says this to Meen, who often has something to say about their idol fandom. That makes me nod in agreement.
"Oh... this is new." Meen looks at me in shock because, before this, our group was split equally into two sides: K-pop fans and narrow-minded people who were against that. Yet today, it seems like I have changed teams.
"You could say that I think more positively." I wriggle uncomfortably before I continue to ask. "By the way... you like these K-pop idols a lot, but have you ever met them?"
"Yes. We go greet them at the airport or go to their concerts. Just seeing them from afar is good enough."
"You only see them at those places? Have you ever met them in a more private setting?"
"Argh... Their bodyguards are fiercer than bulldogs. No one can get close. But that's good because they would be swarmed to death by now if people could get close easily. Imagine BNK48 allowing every otaku to get near them all at once."
I get the picture immediately...
"And... how do you know their schedules? Like..." I keep on asking, not paying attention to how Meen is looking at me. "Where do we keep an update on their schedule, if not from Google?"
"For us, there are groups on Twitter. We have our social circles where we share any news or updates we know... There are groups for Thai celebrities as well. They will share any public schedules so the fans can go support them."
"What if it's not a celebrity or someone without a fandom? How do we learn of their schedules?"
Everyone falls silent and turns to look at me intently.
"Who do you have a crush on?"
When I get caught red-handed, I sit up straight and try to look naive.
"Crazy. I was just asking out of curiosity. You know that I'm not a crazy fan. I would never follow someone around and scream."
Everyone nods in agreement because, out of the four of us, I'm the least into these things. I'm more into IT, editing photos and videos, and sketching. My inspiration is architecture. No idol or celebrity has ever cracked the wall and entered my heart.
Until...
"Yeah, you're not one to like or have a crush on someone because others tend to be the ones who run after you." Ern adds on as if to make a point to everyone. That makes me sigh with relief.
I will never tell anyone that I have a crush on a celebrity. It's not cool. I have to keep my character.
"So?"
"So, what?" Nat glances at me after everyone stops paying attention, but I still want my answer.
"What I asked earlier, the schedules..."
"Are you writing a thesis or something? Why are you so serious... Like I said, if we become members of a group of people who like similar things (for me, it's Big Bang), when there are concerts or events, we will update each other in the group. Just get yourself involved with the group of people who like what you like, and you'll be updated."
"Get involved..." I drag my voice and follow her train of thought... Damned, I don't even like football (soccer), but I have to learn how to play? "And what about..."
"What now?"
"How do you support your idols?"
"We beg them to be our husbands every day. They must know what we desire... It's nothing much. We support them in whatever work they have and be nice fans." Nat tutors me, and Ern adds on to her Bananas in Pajamas partner.
"Or you can write letters. I did that. I wrote in Thai and asked someone in the group to translate them into English or Korean."
"Will they really read it?"
"Nonsense. They are so busy. They won't read it." Meen says that with her arms crossed across her chest. She's becoming frustrated that I won't get off this topic. She's looking like a mother who's unhappy with her children. "They probably twist their mouths when they see the pile of letters and go on with their dance practice."
"Even if they do not read them, they are undoubtedly encouraged, and I am proud to be a part of that."
"Even if they don't even see your letters? What a sacrifice! Once you have your own family, you will regret wasting so much time and money to support..."
And my friends go on to argue about being K-pop fans, as usual. It's good that we are not the "must-win" type. We just listen to each other's opinions and argue from time to time. It always ends well. This time, too.
Ah... letters. It's lucky that Aontakarn is Thai and not famous. Writing her letters should not be that difficult. When I come to that conclusion, I head straight to the stationary section at the mall, where I'm strolling with my friends after our meal. I bought a notebook and a nice pen to write something to that female news announcer.
Geez... I'm so determined that even I, myself, am shocked.
Oh... my heart is pounding very hard. Just seeing the notebook that I just bought gets me excited. And there's a nice fragrance coming off of the paper. Sniff... What does it smell like...
It's so familiar...
"Why are your nostrils so wide?"
My friends, who were browsing around, poked their faces to look at me as I was caressing the notebook in my hands. It makes me straighten up and clear my throat.
"Nothing. It smells good and is familiar."
"Of course. It says on the cover that the scent is 'Apple."
"This is an apple scent? What kind of innovation is this... I will buy it." I decide without further consideration. I pay for the notebook with a smile on my face. Everyone wants encouragement, and I want the person with beautiful eyes to know that someone has eyes on her, but she doesn't know'...
Today... I will write to that female news announcer.
Aontakarn.
I spent the entire night crafting beautiful words. I've never written a letter to anyone before in my entire life. I thought about writing one to the prime minister when I was in middle school. But that's that... It was
This is a song lyric.
just a thought. But right now, I'm writing a letter on actual paper with a heart fuller than ever before.
How will the receiver of this letter feel... if she knows that someone is following and supporting her work, as well as being allured by her light brown eyes?
Dear you... who is loved
I have to first say that I've never done something like this before. So, writing this letter is very difficult for me. I just want to send you encouragement and let you know that I really like your work. The first time I took my eyes off my computer screen was because my mother opened the television, and you were on the TV monitor. You spoke very clearly. Your eyes are full of determination. All that makes me know how focused on your job you are.
You probably don't know how capable you are. It's too bad that you don't have more work. It would be nice... if I could see you more often on more media channels.
Love you,
From... Apple
Will Steve Jobs slap me in the face for using his brand as my alias? To be honest, I thought hard about how to end the letter. While I desire Aontakarn to be aware that she has an admirer, I refrain from disclosing my sexual orientation to her. Apple is not too ladylike, is it? To use mango or durian is a bit odd.
Apple, it is. It's fitting for the paper I use.
"Where are you going?"
Puth asks when I'm about to leave the house. I glanced at my brother, who interrupted me as I was going out to war.
Yes... sending a letter to that new announcer gives that feel.
"I'm going to send a letter." "Okay. Hurry back." "Why?"
"We have a meeting concerning our 'AppTalk' website project today."
"Wow. There's a name already. Cool." I shrug. "Why must it be today? I have errands."
"If you're just going to send a letter, it wouldn't take long. The mailbox is right on our street."
"I'm not dropping it in the mailbox." "Where are you dropping it, then?" "None of your business."
"Why won't you drop it off at the post? Why complicate things?"
"Stop asking so many questions. I'll hurry back. PH only take a while."
That's all I say before I call the motorcycle taxi to take me to the TV station where Aontakarn works. Actually, I know I can send the letter via postal mail. But I feel it's not special, and I'm also afraid that it won't reach her. My friends said that the letters fans send to their idols rarely really reach them.
To be honest, I don't expect that female news announcer to read my letter. But I just feel that I want to do something that's more special than sending a letter via postal mail by dropping it off at the station myself or something like that.
It's lucky that Aontakarn's office is not too far from my house, so I get there quickly. Today, I disguise myself with a cap and mask because I am too embarrassed for anyone to discover that I am an idol fan.
No... to be precise, I'm a news announcer fan.
When I reach the reception area, I say, looking embarrassed and avoiding eye contact, that I'm here to drop off a letter.
"Can I leave this for Miss Aontakarn, the sports news announcer?"
"Who should I say it's from?"
"From... Apple."
I keep it short and run away to hide behind a large pillar. My heart is pounding. It's just the receptionist, who looks nowhere like that female news announcer, but I panic to the point of almost fainting.
I've become a new person since I received my new eyes. I'm a brand new me.
As I pat my chest to console myself from my racing heart, my phone rings. Seeing that it's Puth who's calling me because he's afraid that I forgot about our appointment makes me twist my mouth.
"I know Puth. I haven't forgotten. I'm about to head back. Geez... you're acting like we have a $100 million business or something."
[Hey. Our project is very solid. We have you, who's a professional video editor, and my friends and I, who have knowledge of all the gadgets, and a big surprise is that we're getting a professional announcer who will come work with us.]
"What announcer? How many partners do we have?"
[Me, you, my friends, and Karn.]
"Karn? Who's that?"
[You probably don't know her, but maybe you will recognize her. She's a news announcer on a digital channel. Her contract is about to end, so my friends and I make her an offer to become our business partner.]
"A news announcer? What a coincidence..." I glance at the reception area, and my heart almost pops out when I see a petite woman in a t-shirt and jeans. Yes... though I'm looking from a distance, I remember the person well.
That woman... Aontakarn.
Plump Thump...
Thump Thump...
Thump Thump...
Aontakam is talking to someone and is about to walk into the elevator, but the receptionist calls out to her before she can do so. It makes me blush as I eagerly anticipate whether my letter will reach her.
[Are you listening?]
"Ah-huh. I'm listening... What's the name? Karn?"
[That's the nickname. Her full name is Aontakam.]
When that name came out of my brother's mouth, I was startled and stood up straight. I look towards the reception as my hand clasps my phone tightly.
"Aontakam... Are you sure?"
[Yes. That's her name, Aontakarn. My friend recommended her to us. I was told that she's very professional and, more importantly, very beautiful. It's too bad that the opportunities in the entertainment business is...]
Puth continues to babble, unaware that his sister has already dropped her hand, which is holding the phone, and has not listened to what he is saying.
And the letter I left with the receptionist reaches the hand of the news announcer, whose name is 'Kant' for short. The petite woman takes it and reads it right there and then. She closes her mouth with her hand as she blushes. It's the same reaction as the one I'm having right this instant.
Oh, wow... What perfect sitcom timing!