2
Heart full of lust
The meeting among partners who will start a new website, 'AppTalk,' started. There are five of us. Puth, Jetha, Tho, me, and the last partner who will be the face of our website.
"You can call me Karn."
"At first, I thought Kam would not take the job." Jetha, who's the one who invited Karn (I will call her this.) to join us, says.
"I wasn't going to at first. But... there was a good event today."
Her nasal tone of voice, the same as the one on TV, makes my heart race. Though I keep a calm exterior, no one knows that my toes are digging into the ground from shyness. Damned... it's so real. It's her in the fresh.
"I feel bad. Our website is in its early stages, so there will be no revenue initially." Puth is unusually embarrassed. My rude brother says this with a dry smile. Karn doesn't reply. She just smiles and looks at me.
Thump Thump.
Geez. I can't keep eye contact. I'm dying...
"This is Chris, my younger sister. She will be the camerawoman and do all the editing. You will have to work with her more than anyone else." Puth sees where the sweet-faced person is looking, so he introduces us. My brother's nervousness makes me nervous as well.
Gosh. Can't he act normal? I'm so excited, I can't control my facial muscles.
"Chris... say something."
I keep quiet because I don't dare say anything, so my brother pokes me. I glance at Puth a bit and reply shortly...
"Ah-huh."
Did my voice shake? If I speak more, I will surely cry. Ah... I must not show that I'm crazy about her. She may feel uncomfortable if she finds out. We have to work together for a long time.
Kam smiles at me a bit and turns her attention back to the meeting. As for me, I don't take in a word because I'm so excited about meeting the news announcer I just sent a letter to this morning. I feel very lucky. I must have saved the world in my past life to be this lucky.
Gosh... my heart is melting.
"The meeting went veil. Our website will be a success for sure."
Puth is now acting normally. I glance at my brother, who's babbling now but was so quiet during the meeting.
"You're the founder, aren't you? If you're not confident, how can it succeed? Why were you so quiet during the meeting?"
"Argh. I'm not good at talking. Moreover... I was nervous. There was a beautiful woman there." Puth tugs at me with his elbow. "Kam is so beautiful, yeah? I thought she was beautiful on TV, but her, in the fresh, is even more beautiful."
"Ah... I guess."
I pretend to not be overly excited because I want to keep my cool. Despite the fact that MY Aontakarn is very 'awww,' it would not be ideal if the camerawoman were to be too excited.
'Awww' means cute. Cute like a seal that cries, 'awww.'
"You guess? Geez... women tend to be envious of another beautiful woman."
"Why would I be envious?"
"You're envious because you're not the only woman on the team. Gosh... you're also beautiful, sis. But you have to admit that Kam is very beautiful. How can a woman look good in every molecule? She sits up straight. Her hair is shiny. Her facial features are so delicate."
"Delicate? She has a very high-bridge nose. A great bridge." I argue unconsciously. It makes my brother squint at me.
"You're very observant."
It's not called good observation; it's called scanning her every inch. When I looked her up on Google, I would have licked the computer monitor if I wasn't afraid that I would be shocked by electricity.
"Her nose really stands out."
"She seems so composed, but her eyes are so sad." My brother, who has experienced life, describes her as if he is reading an Ernest Hemingway novel. I twist my mouth a bit before I raise my eyebrows when I hear his next comment. "I heard that her mother just died; maybe that's why."
That's right. I can sense that she doesn't smile fully. Initially, I put it down to the fact that she is a very polite person or that she is a cool, collected individual.
But maybe it's because there's sadness in her, like my brother says.
"I heard that she only had her mother left. Poor her. She should have someone by her side to take care of her."
"Doesn't she have a lover?" "I heard that she used to have one." So, she doesn't have one now... Great. Why is that great?
"That's strange. Is she not nice or something? Normally, someone this beautiful must have someone who flirts with her or is talking to her."
"I heard that they just broke up around the same time when her mother passed away."
"She broke up with her lover during a sensitive time, too. The guy couldn't take it or something?"
What I meant is that maybe he can't take the pressure during that sensitive time. I really empathize with Aontakam being dumped when she was all alone and grieving.
Puth glances at me and furrows his eyebrows. "Do you hate her or something?" "Why would I hate her?"
If I don't like her, what is it that I'm feeling? I know more about her than she knows about herself. I'm her biggest fan. I would undoubtedly win an honorable award if I appeared on the Panya-hosted "biggest fan" show.
"You always say negative things. You don't even know her yet, but you are already judging her."
"Ah... I'm just saying. Normally, someone this beautiful has to have people approach her. If there's none, then something is off."
"Maybe she's unapproachable. She seems to have a high wall. She didn't say much in the meeting. She was very reserved. Do you think... I should try to hit on her?"
"You have a zero chance of success."
"Hey... you."
"And you shouldn't hit on a business partner. It's a basic rule that you should know. Big companies don't allow employees to be in a relationship because it may affect their work. Maybe you will be successful and madly in love. But if you break up, your business will go down the toilet"
"Why do you have to be so serious? We haven't even started our website."
"If you hit on her, I will not be your business partner."
My voice becomes stern, and that stuns Puth. He then waves his hands.
"Okay. I was just kidding. I wouldn't be successful even if I hit on her."
"Don't even think about it. I forbid you!"
I repeat myself, making my brother look discouraged.
"Fine." Puth changes the topic and tries to sound upbeat when he sees that I'm becoming frustrated. He probably thinks that I take our business seriously, though that's not at all the case. "Let's talk about something else. Our first clip will be about reviewing what we already have, which is cranes."
"Cranes to lift stuff?"
"Are you crazy? I mean cranes to use with cameras. You should know more about it than anyone else. It's good that you're just the camerawoman and editor, not the content creator."
"I was just joking."
"I think Tho already briefed Karn about it. We will shoot in a park. Get ready... Karn is free tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I sit up straight, excited. My heart is racing. "At what hour will we shoot?"
"In the evening. So we can shoot when the light is beautiful. Think about the ideal camera angle and iconic editing style. You can put in animations and stuff..."
Puth continues to brief me a bit more. In honesty, I don't listen much because I'm excited that I will get to meet Aontakarn again tomorrow. I must have been the bravest soldier who fought side by side with King Narai,2 or Okya,3 who saved our country in my past life. I'm so blessed.
Your heart is full of lust, Otchaou 4...
This is my first day on the job with 'AppTalk.' We don't really have anything solid except for our determination and the announcer, who has experience as a news announcer. But reviewing something is another matter all together, so we are all 'newbies', who are quite nervous.
The reviewers in this clip are Puth, who has good knowledge of technology, and Aontakarn, who is a good communicator. They read the script and the brief before we started.
2 One of the most famous kings during the Ayudhaya period.
3 The highest ranking given to someone during the Ayudhaya period.
4 A word used to refer to a younger female in the Ayudhaya period. The word became popular due to a famous series.
As for me, I'm the camerawoman who also has to do the editing. Normally, this kind of work is easy for me. What makes it hard is that I have to look straight at the sweet-faced woman who's smiling as she's speaking with her nasal tone of voice, looking straight into the camera. As I look at the screen of my iPad, it's as if she's fixing her gaze directly on me. So I'm twisting left and right so much that Tho, who's standing next to me, has to laugh out loud.
"What's the matter with you? Do you need to go to the restroom? You're acting weird."
I look at the person who said that to me annoyingly. How can he interpret my being shy as me needing to pee? I'm so confused.
"I feel like I'm coming down with a fever."
"Is this your first job since you can see again?"
"Yes. If I make any mistakes, I apologize in advance."
"It's okay. We are all newbies, except for Kam. Let's get to know each other more because we will be working together for a long time."
Why does everyone say that to me? I want to be closer to Kam than any other person in this world. Tell the petite woman that, not me.
"Hey. Aren't you going to say CUT? We're done."
Put yells at me, and that's the end of that scene...
There are many more scenes to shoot today. Though the clips aren't very formal, I want them to look very professional. So my job is to brief Aontakarn on the angle for each scene. This is the first time we really get to talk.
My heart is full of lust...
"The weather is so hot today."
Karn's nasal tone of voice can be heard. It makes everything go quiet. I don't know who the petite woman is talking to, so I don't respond. Also, I'm very excited.
"Chris."
"Huh?" I look up when I hear my name. Kam looks at me and smiles slightly. "Can I call you Chris?"
"Ah-huh."
The person in front of me just called my name. Argh... What should I do? Can I faint? Will my head hit the ground too hard? Am I overly excited? I have to keep my cool, so she's not pressured. She's so cute, MY Aontakam. Awww.
"How old are you?"
"Same as you."
I unconsciously bite my lips in frustration. Damned. I shouldn't act like I know too much. She will think that I'm a psychpath for looking her up. Sob.
"We don't get to talk much."
"Yeah."
My brief responses bring the conversation to an end. Aontakarn presses her lips together for a bit and pretends to be admiring the birds and the trees. I don't know what to say because I don't want to get too personal, so I initiate a conversation about work.
"For the next scene, I will sweep the camera from the bottom up. You can slowly walk in. I will shoot from the front."
"Okay."
I set up the camera and got ready to shoot the next scene. However, the announcer blurts something out first.
"Do you dislike me, Chris?"
What?
I look up and look into the sweet-faced woman's eyes when I hear that. The light brown eyes are staring back at me. What kind of question was that? So the answer is only one of two possible answers?
Like or dislike?
We both go quiet for a long time. I have to thank Puth for breaking the silence.
"Girls, how are we doing?"
"We haven't gotten anywhere." I quickly responded, not looking Kam in the eye. "Let's hurry up before we run out of light."
Things go on as they should. Aontakarn continues to do her job well. Yet, we haven't finished our conversation because I don't know how to respond to her question.
She wants me to confess my love to her or something... We're both women!
She asking that means that she wanted me to reply, "Yes... I like you," right? Isn't it weird for me to say that? Were both being women and all.
Having a crush on someone is so hard...
Ah... Good. It's good that I didn't respond. That is the best way to get out of this situation. Page 45 of 928
However, it seems like... what I think was a good way out was only good for me. That night, as I'm in a daze looking at Aontakam on my Adobe Premier Pro program repeatedly (I kept replaying it to look at the announcer's smile with admiration), Puth crashes into my bedroom in panic.
"Chris. You!"
"What? Why are you crashing into my room and yelling at me angrily like this?"
I bared my teeth at my brother for crashing in as I was adding the song Otchaou Aei to a clip so I could watch it in private. Yet my brother, who has a goatee, smacks me in the head.
"Ouch. That hurts. What's this... I'm delicate. What if I become dumb?"
"You're already dumb. What happened today?" "What happened?"
"What did you do to hurt Karn's feelings? She just called to tell me that she no longer wants to be our partner."
"What? Why?" This time, it's me who panics to the point of standing up straight. "Nothing happened."
"She said that she can't work with someone who dislikes her. And that person is you."
"Me?"
"Yes. Because you hate her gut, she wants out.
Idiot!"
The perfect sitcom timing again... oh my.